I tried reading your post but I'm filled with a sense of unease and confusion that prevents me from grasping it rationally

I am beginning to see in my mind’s eye, Zebra itself, an actual animal, a striped horse. Coy and merry and mischievous, half hiding in the forest at the far edge of the heath, the sun shining, and Zebra playfully advancing and then just when you think he’s going to emerge fully and separate himself from the trees—suddenly and unexpectedly he retreats and absolutely vanishes. You can't coax him out, or lure him; you can’t get your hands on him. His white is the dazzle of the sun; his dark stripe the shadows in the glade and forest, “where, amid the shadowy green/the little things of the forest live unseen.” Ah, Zebra—why really did I choose that name for you? You mythical lovely beast of sun and safe shadow; I saw you once but can never—as if you are some fabled deity—prove to anyone that you exist. I inform them, I try to take them along with me to the special spot from which I saw you—and you’re not there. But I sense the glint in your eye and your smile of understanding amusement.