Hey /lit/izens.This is my script that I'm currently trying to get greenlit.https://wormhole.app/1xb4q#e9Z94h0_F4nWqSXtxF8MHgPull it apart. I'm kind of going for gritty, realistic Hemingway style dialogue. I need your help. All feedback is appreciated. This project isn't going to write itself.Updates since last time: I sent an email to Jamie Krents who is the GM of Diana Krall's record label and am waiting on a tentative contract from Disney that should be signed sometime next week. They've agreed to fast track production. It'll be filmed on set in Burbank and is slated for release on Labor Day.
I seeEthan HawkeBen KingsleySome blonde guyJavier Bardem andBreaking bad guy
>>23628348post a random sample from your script
>>23628434INT. ERIN AND DANIEL'S BEDROOM - NIGHTErin is sleeping.Daniel wakes up and turns to look at clock. It is 3:16.Daniel walks quietly past kitchen night light, down dimly lit hall toward home office.Daniel turns on computer, opens and begins to update resume.Instant message dialog box pops up. Sender's name is 'G' Message from G says, 'how r u Daniel?'Daniel types in, 'do i know u?'G replies, 'it's a blast from your past'Suddenly, pop-up ad appears. It is offering free 21" flat panel monitor, in exchange for completing survey.Daniel closes ad, but it pops up again. Daniel closes ad again.G types, 'what r u doing up so late?'Monitor ad pops up again. As Daniel closes ad, the computer monitor begins to flicker.75.G types, 'go get some rest'IM dialog box displays, 'G has signed out'Monitor flickers again, and then goes black.Daniel taps side of monitor several times.Daniel shakes head, shrugs and sighs in frustration.Daniel gets up from chair and exits home office.As he enters hallway, it is virtually pitch black.As he carefully makes his way down hallway back to bed, he is overcome with cold chills.Daniel turns up thermostat until he hears heater kick on, then heads back into bedroom.
>>23628484without context, it's pretty boring
>>23628513that's why you need to read the whole thing. like the Bible it seems boring but it's full of hidden meaning
bump
>>23629276>like the Bible it seems boringstop reading the prophets and Paul's shitty letters
