Why did this lil nigga draw the curtains on himself?
Eventually you realize the world is on repeat and if life forces you to face that and truly understand it you will find yourself will few options. Few ever move beyond the realization and most who do reduce it to a banality out of an act of self preservation initiated by some deep unknown part of themselves.
cuz shit is just lowkey boring
>>23809349he really only knew a part of the world, I think his ego and medication did a number on him
>>23809368What if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness, and say to you, "This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence" ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: "You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine."
>>23809349Fear of falling to the dread again
>>23809408>t. plotfagYou haven't even had the realization yet.
>>23809349Depression is a persistence hunter. It doesn’t chase you and pounce on you, it follows you until you can’t escape it anymore and only then does it pounce. A single moment of weakness is all it takes. The hunter only has to get lucky once but the prey has to get lucky every time.
>>23809408just buy a telescope faggot
>>23809377ong life mid af
>>23809349Didn't have kids. Had nothing else to live for. Plus, he was a gloomy guy all around. Very insecure and self-obsessed. Those types don't make it a full lifespan.
>>23809349He looks like an impersonator DFW had hired to not to have to sign books for 5h lol
>>23810954and in the end it's not even the depression that kills you, not the feeling of sadness or emptiness or whatever, it's the realization that it nothing you do will stop it permanently. every happy moment is doomed to end, every strategy or coping mechanism will one day stop working or become twisted against youDFW was a constant sweater and was deeply embarrassed by it. he used to come up with these bizarre tactics to hide itobviously this eventually lead to the bandanna thing, but once he realized it was becoming his "brand" he panicked because it actually drew way more attention to his insecuritiesso he stopped wearing them. but every single picture of him still had the bandanna. every thinkpiece, every interview, still had him be the bandanna guy. it's like a bald guy becoming famous for his iconic toupee, something far more humiliating than whatever he was covering uphe didn't kill himself because of it, but it's a microcosm for the type of spiral of helplessness you feel in depression. your choices are either to deal with it and its compounding effects forever, or die.
>>23809349Lil nigga was bitchmade. Simple as.>>23810954This is pussy cope. It's not about getting "lucky" it's about not being a bitch. If you're bitchmade, it's only a matter of time, if you're a real nigger you aren't ACKing. Period.
>>23811070this post made me realize how much of a faggot DFW was, thanks for sharing anon
>>23811152This nigga dealin facts
>>23809349Guy just couldn't forget sarah marshall
>>23809368This makes me uncomfortable.
>>23809349He literally explains it in Good Old Neon which is clearly pretty much just a journal entry. He paints a detailed picture of what narcissism-induced depression is like. He was a prisoner of his own mind, lacking a sense of self, incapable of lasting joy.
He was a narcissist that got off to being the best and getting people's attention. He's too self-aware, realized he would never change, and killed himself. Knowing that even with writing something as good as Infinite Jest, money, and fame weren't good enough to satiate his demons. The worst part, he knew he wasn't THAT smart. He couldn't deal with the fact that he wasn't a true genius, just a very intelligent guy that was overeducated by his parents and sweat the small stuff. As a result, he alienated himself from the world, improving his skills, to close the gap. But, for what, again, his narcissism, to salve his insecurity, and that never went away, it just became worse. As he realized that he now had to write something even better, like a true narcissist, he killed himself. Allowing us to eternally see only his best.
>>23809349Firmly believe if he'd been given the right diagnosis and meds, he'd be here, living, kicking, shitposting on X. Hell, the has changed so much since September 12, 2008. I'd had loved to see his perspective on the modern state of the world. Alas.
>>23809349I cannot bear the idea of suicide. One day here, then gone. The hardness of it, the harshness, fucks me up. Slowly withering away, peacefully, calmly, with your children by your side, is more my style.
>>23813561Uh, oh, that sounds like me. What can I do about this? I’m already seeing a shrink.
>>23813615see it as gambling. when you win, it's never enough. you have to accept the limits of what you are reasonably capable of. if you want to go all in, go right ahead. you can succeed at the consequence of everything else in your life. relative to the infinitely small chance you are here at all, it's not worth it.
>>23809349Because he was a drug addict, obviously.
>>23813597>diagnosis and meds>>>/x/
>>23809368This is could thought process branching you should be careful of how redefine terms and confuse emotions with divinity.You are on your way to inspiring an excuse for your Asperger's syndromes.
>>23813689Repetition makes perfection yet skepticism suggests we best neutralize the threat. We can't eliminate the brain hypothetically due to the hypothetical oath but it is the best cure to put you down for our sanity. Yet we train to asses and have a series of flowchart questionaires that you study and we flood into the community to control the perceptual outcome however a new patient is approached completely different by referral which we prefer the mother one on one with the father out of the picture. I'm sorry your family is a whore? Oh it was hypocratic. I think I get it but floating fragments of thoughts confuse me from genuine impactful congruency that happens throughout most age groups genuinely I can't tell. But this doesn't mean you'll read this.
>>23809349I'm genuinely really jealous of people who've killed themselves. I mean it's one thing when losers like me commit suicide, but when mr Gigachad 140+ IQ darling boy wonder still manages to off himself before me, it really begins to bite.How am I this cowardly? Why can't I kill myself like any sane man? Such a constitutional debility - esepcially for one living a shit life.
>>23813806Maybe your life isn't that bad and you still have hope? My brother killed himself and for some reason I'm embarrassed too that I can't kill myself either even though I've been a depressing coward my life
>>23813806stupidity is the essence of life.
>>23809408I wouldn't do either. I would be at peace with that. I'd rather not face eternity if given the choice, but if I have to, well, an infinity of listening to birdsong, resting against pines and gazing over the waters, enjoying the moon and stars and my drink, and watching the rosy dawn through the trees, it wouldn't be so bad. Are you people really in such intense suffering that you couldn't bear more life? I mean, I'm as suicidal as the next guy, but it's really not so bad. Even my mundane regrets and pains and stresses feel justified, poignant and right.
>>23813904>Maybe your life isn't that bad and you still have hope? My brother killed himself and for some reason I'm embarrassed too that I can't kill myself either even though I've been a depressing coward my lifeThat sucks. How'd he do it? I feel that I might, might've, been able to had I been an American and had easy access to a shotgun; as a Bong, the spectre of a noose unnerves me, and I don't want to trust to any non-visible means like inert gas or whatever: I want to know that my head won't be on my shoulders.Hope you feel better/manage to kill yourself, anon. I don't think anyone will especially miss me personally, but it sucks if you had any kind of relationship with your brother.
>>23809368this is why serial killing is a thingyou gotta mix it upSPICE OF LIFE
>>23813806>>23813904
>>23809368Eventually some retards tell themselves*
>>23814533He shot himself with my 25acp. I've played Russian roulette once after but when it obviously didn't work I felt relieved like a coward. I won't blot post but my life doesn't suck enough for that yet and honestly I'm excited for when I'm officially all alone, maybe if my thirties aren't as enjoyable as people say I'll just call it quits then. I'm also scared of a painful death even if it's only for a moment. I have no real take away for you sadly
SSRI withdrawal
Infinite Jim
>>23811070>DFW was a constant sweater and was deeply embarrassed by it. he used to come up with these bizarre tactics to hide itEvery thing I read about this man makes him more and more relatable (except the anecdote in Every Ghost Story is a Love Story about him fucking a goth girl in a bar after talking to her for a few minutes (oh yeah, and the fact that he was a talented writer)).
>>23815939>Every Ghost Story is a Love StorySorry I meant Every Love Story is a Ghost Story.
>>23809349he was a retarded faggot and shoudlve killed himself sooner
>>23815939Desu, this is the trick: Mr. Chad writes all the lonely bloohoo literally me stories whilst STILL slaying like hell. See Dazai. I'm sure they are still unhappy, but it's still a kick in the face to someone who's totally wretched and can't even catch a glimpse of sex/intimacy. Orwell supposedly fucked a lot too - the Orwell who wrote in Burmese days "The world could be so beautiful, if only one had someone to share it with"! He had a sweetheart at home as well, bastard.
>>23816708Reading The Fall by c*mus gave me this feeling.
>>23816718Based. Sex-havers must hang.
>>23809349I’m not sure. Why haven’t you?
>>23813609>Slowly withering away, peacefully, calmly, with your children by your sideYou should come to work with me at the hospital. It isn't so much slowly withering away but nightmarishly living in a constant state of panic. Then eventually you code a few times and they vent you long enough for your disgusting wife and ungrateful kids to say goodbye. They're usually the hardest ones to deal with. Sometimes the spouse goes into cardiac arrest just from the shock of seeing their wife/husband being thumped on by doctors. Its a lot of blood, shit, and tears. You should shoot yourself like that idiot's gay brother while you have the chance.
>>23817103Fuck you
>>23813615nothing reallyall the strategies to deal with depression involve self-deceptionif you're the type of person who can't do that, whether due to narcissism, being overly introspective or obsessive, or whatever else, then you'll never beat it
>>23817103I've spent time on palliative care wards and I can confirm you're full of shit.
>>23811068check out The End of the Tour
>>23817857Goddamn is Jesse Eisenberg unlikable in this
>>23818587*in everything
>>23816708Thats actually the worst part, and reason why you guys cant write or relate. Being lonely is not the hard part, being lonely in spite of other people is the hard part.
>>23809349yet another victim of the medical industrial complex
>>23820678Having been on both sides of the spectrum, being completely alone was far worse.
>>23809349He was mentally ill anon, depressed and narcissistic, a common combination that is going to be realised again many times over in a lot of internet personalities (for example, I guarantee that Sam Hyde will die by his own hand)
>>23822200That's why Sam Hyde hates him and projects him as a "sensitive kitty cat man"
