A girl of thirteen recently called me a “such a peasant” in a joking way because I thought the difference between red wine and white wine was that red wine was made from red grapes and white wine was made from green grapes. So I’m trying to brush up and ensure I don’t get embarrassed again
>>23972036The Wine Bible
The Book on Wine
>>23972041Nice. But is it entry level? Or will I be totally lost?>>23972048Pretentious and completely adverse to fun but also very bookish and bright
>>23972036>I thought the difference between red wine and white wine was that red wine was made from red grapes and white wine was made from green grapesi mean there are exceptions but this isn't really wronganyway there are a million books about wine, but start with pic relatedremember to never mix the grape and the grain
>>23972065I'm going to mix the grape and the grain. You can't stop me.
>>23972066crazy fool
>>23972036Why did you let a thirteen year old girl mouth off to you in the first place?
>>23972065Thanks, much obliged >>23972083She is the only person I know who reads interesting books and I am the only one she knows who does. So I give her some slack for being a kid
>>23972036Be careful, anon. Girls around that age can be terrifying without even realizing what they're doing.
>>23972181She’s into golf and tennis more than boxing
>>23972036Dali’s The Wines of Gala
>>23972036should have called the brat correction department
>>23972330She’s a brat to the extreme and tries to provoke me but she is also a good kid deep down and has bought me really nice designer clothes for my birthday and has brought me meals she cooked me
>>23972342Anon you're being groomed. If this keeps up she'll show up at your house one day in an unmarked van and offer you free rock CDs.
>>23972344I’m friends with her parents and have been to her house multiple times. She is much more polite and respectful to me in their presence
>>23972352anon, i'm starting to think you have had lewd thoughts of her beforeit's just a vibe i'm getting
is there any kind of wine that doesn't taste like shit? or is getting used to drinking shit that tastes like shit a sign of sophisticated taste and it's supposed to suck and sucks more the more expensive it is? i've only drunken cheap wine aunt wine with this wine aunt from my work and it's always so gross.
>>23972367She’s a child even though she doesn’t realize it>>23972382According to her, wine can either be more expensive due to taste, or simply to brand and conspicuous consumption. Her parents let her have small amounts of wine and she loves sampling it
>>23972385so, how many times have you, you know...?
>>23972382I love cheap wine
>>23972036It's a pretty common misunderstanding, but getting roasted by a child over it is hilarious
>>23972382This is like asking is there any kind of food that doesn't taste like shit. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of very varied flavors and brands of wine. You are guaranteed to find something you like, if you have any sense of taste at all.
>>23972385She won't be a child forever. A word of advice, anon, keep some distance and allow her to grow up among peers.
I'm posting in this thread to shill for the manga Koibumi to 13-Sai no Joyuu. You can find it on mangadex. That's all.
>>23972497I hang around her because she or her parents invite me over or because she wants to go somewhere that her friends aren’t interested in like a museum or foreign film and asks me to take her. I don’t encroach on her if that’s what you’re thinking
>screamingRyanGosling.gif
Chianti is pretty goodI also like Zinfandel and MalbecCabernet Sauvignon is too damn acidic for me. Same for Tempranillo. Have two glasses and I feel like I’m burning a hole in my stomach.I’ve tasted some really dreadful Beuajolais. I turn it down when offered now.Pinot Noir is kind of hit or miss. I’ve had some really good ones. And plenty that were just meh.Never cared much for white wine but Chardonnay and Pinot Grigio are tolerable.Riesling is too damn sweet.
>>23972382All alcohol tastes like shit before you become addict and your brain develops connection between this disgusting taste and intoxication.
>>23972602absolutely plebian taste. alsace all the way.
>>23972342>>23972054Don't get too attached to the kid if she's not your sister
>>23972540>she wants to go somewhere that her friends aren’t interested in like a museum or foreign film and asks me to take herShe is almost certainly infatuated with you and would eagerly reciprocate sexual advances (that, or this is some elite shitposting). No idea why her parents tolerate it, but even this limited relationship you describe would probably be enough to get a visit from the police and generally tarnish your reputation even without any charges. Hormonal children are extremely unpredictable and you should tread carefully. Safest option is to distance yourself such that she gradually loses interest. Or get yourself a child girlfriend. If you want to fuck her then acting sooner is better (unless your country has a relatively low age of consent) since she'll probably find a new crush relatively quickly.
>>23972546I’ve been friends with her dad since fifth grade >>23972765She is functionally my sister or niece >>23972945She isn’t infatuated with me, when her parents aren’t around she makes fun of me all the time. I’m an underachieving humanities major who makes 40k a year whereas her parents are both successful professionals and she speaks multiple languages. There isn’t any sexual tension, she is literally like a little sister to me. Her parents give her a lot of latitude because she is very, very, very responsible and an extreme square, the fact that they let her have wine should be enough to clue you in on that. You are letting mangas go to your head. >>23972606Alcohol imo is an acquired taste like coffee. And the enjoyment of the taste of coffee or strong tea might be associated with caffeine but once you acquire the taste it is still firm. Anyway she likes wine and has never been even slightly tipsy
>>23972382Have you tried any sweet reds? They’re usually very fruity tasting and don’t hit you as hard with the alcohol flavor. And moscato is the girl drink of choice for a reason.Don’t let someone meme you into dry Pinots and Merlots until you get accustomed to the taste of wine.
>>23972963Don't listen to these anons, they're weird. Wholesome relationships are quite foreign to retards these days
>>23972945>>23972497>t. fag or hag panicking that the girl won't be brainwashed by tiktokersday of the rope, friendo
In just 3 years she's legal to fuck in most US states
>>23973155so fucking sick of cumbrains. get a life
>>23972065what book should I get someone who sells wine for their career? he's an expert on wine.
>>23973155or they could go on a vacation>Nigeria (11)>Philippines and Angola (12)>13 in three countries – Niger, Comoros, and Burkina Fasomaybe a yacht trip on international waters?
>>23973162Bush changed the laws so U.S. citizens are held accountable by Federal AoC no matter what country they are in
>>23972036>such a peasantActual European peasants would tend to be pretty familiar with the techniques of wine production.
>>23973164Monks pioneered modern wine production and science much more than peasants did. I doubt many wineries were owned by peasants. Peasants drank beer
>>23973163oh, I only knew about having to pay taxes to the US no matter where you work or use the moneyvery cucked, if you ask me
>>23972181Like… Am I allowed to even think this? Am I going to gaol bros?
>>23972036just keep buying and drinking different kinds of wine. start with the easy ones, the most common ones. soon you'll recognize them by taste, or at least be very close. it helps to stick with one type at a time
>>23972036saved this cat image
BLESSED LYRAN THREAD ON /LIT/
>>23972083Lousy brat needs correction
>>23973214Just keep in mind that while you might only see her as a little sister or niece, she probably sees you differently, and that she's at an age where she'll be very curious about how older men respond to different things she might have heard about, and that she might not really understand what she's doing herself if she tries anything like that. If you take her seriously during these times you're going to end up in trouble but if you recognize what's going on and defuse it you should be fine. Probably.
>>23974128That isn’t the OP. Gaol is a UK spelling whereas OP used double quotation marking for initial quote which is an American convention
>>23974162OP should take my advice regardless of who I replied to. I wasn't kidding when I said girls that age are scary, if anon doesn't take care to strictly behave like a good uncle figure he could wind up in a lot of trouble.
>>23974174Touch grass
>>23972342>girl of thirteen>bought me really nice designer clotheseh, what?
>>23974704I’m sure her parents paid for most of it
>>23974704I’m not saying OP is a perv, I’m just saying she’s a classy chick with rich parents so maybe he should be.
>>23972066>I'm going to mix the grape and the grain. You can't stop me.I can't, but the hangover you're gonna get definitely can
>>23972066>>23974955that's just fortified wine (or port wine), nothing special
Is there ever a point where wine clicks for you? I like cocktails but wine (and beer) just tastes terrible every time I try it.
>>23972036Beat her mother immediately for letting an innocent child watch Sideways which I hate, utter garbage movie
>>23973160the debt to pleasure by john lanchester>>23975231you just need to keep searching. there are so many different varieties of wine and beer that it's unlikely that you would like everything. you could say why bother but i think it is worth the effort. there is so much cultural history wrapped up in wine, beer etc. there are archaeological traces of breweries, distilleries etc that go back thousands of years. it is part of what it means to be human
>>23972382I'd recommend Monbazillac if you ever find it, that's how the under 12 learn to like wine
>>23975253She pretty much never watches a movie in English that is less than fifty years old
>>23975231Cocktails are just sugaring the drinks. Though, to be honest, just stay with them, wine is expensive in the long run. Once you develop taste for it, you start looking down on low quality products. A bit like Whisky, really. Unless you develop alcoholism, in that case, you're hopelessly lost anyway.
>>23975400>he isn’t a vodka connoisseur ngmi
>>23975400>Cocktails are just sugaring the drinksThey taste good though
>>23974720I’m sure that would endear him
Sounds like you've got yourself the perfect /lit/ companion there, OP.>red wine was made from red grapes and white wine was made from green grapesThey're not? Oh..
>>23977299She’s pretty cool, reads German poetry and loves talking about books
>>23977434Who's her favorite poet?
>>23972195>>23973214Anon you NEED to sleep with her before someone else gets to her
seems unfair that the /wwoym/ had to die, but a larp 'platonic pedo' thread lives in rude health
>>23972036>>23973369I love cats bros
>>23972036A homosexual literature professor of mine once made a joke in class about pairing white wine or red wine or whatever with fish and somehow the entire class laughed. It was just me and this chinese girl who sat confused. Still have no idea what the """joke""" was
>>23978133https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puiK5Ru9_k0
>>23978137Kek, you just solved a personal mystery I've had for over a decade, cheers champ
>>23978152any time
jancis robinson - the 24 hour wine expert
>>23977871No idea, she likes Rilke a lot>>23978051I have no sexual interest in her or thoughts about her, I am not a pedophile in any way>>23978173Based, this looks really good
>>23978199>RilkeKids actually read? Is she special or is this normal in your country?
This whole thread reads like a a romcom light novel fantasy straight outta some Japanese degens imagination
>>23979069I live in America, she is just extremely pretentious as a lot of smart kids her age are. She does things like describes her ethnicity as “Flemish”
>>23979094And that's a good thing!
>>23978121this is 4chan anon. cats are a thing herewe accept you we accept you, one of us one of us
>>23979219Flemish lol, sounds cute. All the kids in my country are retarded for some reason, or I just run into the retarded ones. I had the assumption (mostly due to the internet) that it was the same in America.
>>23979314It generally is, she’s just a bright kid and snobbish enough to look down on other kids rather than seek their approval
>>23972382Cheap mass produced wine isn't any different from other cheap mass produced food. All kinds of chemical sprays, preservatives, corn syrup, sugars, etc get added. If you want nice wine you'll have to find stuff made on a smaller scale with more traditional methods. Just be wary of the natural wine trends, some of that is wineries skipping a filtering process to save money and pretending the small bits of fly wings and dead yeast are actually a good thing
>>23978133I like Pinot noir with salmonFuck the haters
>>23978133I once asked a question about the conjunction "dum" in Latin class and the teacher said "just don't look that up on google hahaha" and everybody laughed so I laughed too and then he said "but seriously what is your question?" and I asked the question and he went "OH! you mean DUM!" because he thought I said cum and I always wonder, did he think "nigga why did you laugh?" when I laughed too?
>>23972065
>>23979752If I won the lottery I would open a private library stocked with every For Dummies book ever printed. Every topic, every edition, every language.Other encyclopedic sets too, but I want most shelves to be a sea of yellow and black
Give us more info anon, she actually sounds interesting. I'll write her into my novel.
>>23978199A few years will go by very quickly and then she won't be a child anymore.
>>23972036You don't need to read a whole fucking book on wine. Watch this and you'll know more about wine than her unless this video is exactly why she schooled you:https://youtu.be/y8cECtBdS8Q
>>23974955Mixing alcohols causing hangovers is a myth promulgated by people who don't know what real hard drinking is.
>>23980327What does actual alcoholism look like? Enlighten us
>>23981351Two liters of vodka a day
>>23981351every good artist
>>23981351It's when you wake up in a state of being half drunk, half hungover, and to put off the coming hangover you just start drinking again until you go to bed drunk, repeat for a couple weeks or months. I don't recommend it but it can take the edge off for a while. Mixing alcohol makes no difference as long as you end up with the same quantity of ethanol in your stomach/blood.
>>23981358does anyone have a theory to why this may be? i think that very sensitive people are drawn towards alcohol because it helps numb the always feeling nature.
>>23981514something like that
>>23981514It’s because other hard drugs have become stigmatized
>tfw no pretentious bratty 13 year old Rilke scholar niece to insult my taste in wine
>>23981600why live?
You must elope with her. She must become your child wife.
>>23980081She plays the piano with enormous concentration and wants me to take her to an expensive classical concert when her birthday rolls around and has extremely snobbish takes on music although she slipped once and was bobbing to pre boomer pop. She is a very judgemental person and called my gf some very rude things behind her back
>>23981514Alcohol is excellent at relieving anxiety and worry.>>23982610>She is a very judgemental person and called my gf some very rude things behind her backShe wants your cock, bro.
>>23982610>called my gf some very rude things behind her backWhat'd she say?
>>23982610At this point idk if you're making things up but I'm more than interested. Paint a complete picture anon.
>>23982683“Dull and unpleasant to look at”. She also insinuated that she was overweight and if refuses to control one appetite then she most likely wasn’t controlling others
>>23979219of all ethnicities she could choose to sound cool, she choose "flemish"
Learning about wine isn't simply something you can do from reading books on the subject you actually need to go out and help with harvest or drink as much as you can from a variety of all grapes to really understand the chemical make upenhancing your palate as you go along while learning how to differentiate between a good wine and a bad wine..
>>23981539the christopher hitchens manifesto
>>23982700Hahahaha
>>23982700>“Dull and unpleasant to look at”. She also insinuated that she was overweightAccurate or not anon?
>>23982700She hates your gf because she's competition for your attention.
>>23978051This. You have to do it to protect her innocence.
>>23982841This. She probably has a crush on op, which is completely normal and she'll probably grow out of it in a couple of years. When I was in high school my bfs little sister had a crush on me and the situation was about the same as what op is describing. First love is cute, don't mistreat her, it's an important part of youth.
