Any books on how young men who were raised by single mothers could reverse the destructive effects of this upringing? As you may well know, men who were raised by single mothers are proportionally more likely to develop mental illness. I would be interested to know if Freud, Jung or any modern psychologist examines this phenomenon.
Pic related is the most accessible thing you can read for parental issues. Jung spoke a lot about it and it's throughout his collected works, check out the case studies in Psychogenesis Of Mental Disease. If you know the basics of Jungian psychology then read Neumann's Origins and History of Consciousness for its discussion on the Devouring Mother archetype, but fundamentally the way you deal with all neurosis issues is the same:1. You realise the ways in which your experiences were inappropriate and not representative of the world at large. (In your case do this by coming to understand what healthy parenting is through research and broadening your experiences)2. You connect your negative experiences to the negative thought and behaviour patterns in your life, and in so doing updating them to a healthy adaption for the world. Talk therapy is best for this because it is both probing and the act of talking is partly spontaneous thus allowing the unconscious to come forth, but things like dream analysis, active imagination, and artistic production help a lot too. A friend of mine even got some results with AI chatbots, though obviously it's not as good as the real thing.
>>24090915Am j the only one on this board who was raised in an intact family? Still got autism.though.
>>24091432Anon intact families have been a minority for some time. The incel and ethot movements are just the result of the divorce crisis.
>>24091439I haven't had sex in almost ten years though(same anon)
>>24091429Thank you for the serious response anon. Fortunately I've read a good amount of Jung, so I'll be sure to look into these suggestions (as well as the book you suggested in the pic). I also found a relevant book titled *The Emotional Incest Syndrome* by Dr. Patricia Love. I don't know if you have an opinion on it, but so far it seems very insightful and helpful. I came across this checklist in the pic today based on the book and most of it describes my upbringing perfectly. The book argues that in a single parent household sometimes the parent, due to their own unmet needs, projects upon the child the role of a best friend or even a spouse. This entails an over-involvement in the child's life, seeking emotional support from the child, or even developing an intense connection with the child with romantic and erotic undertones. This messes up the child's understanding of parenthood and makes it difficult for the child to distinguish between the role of a parent and the role of a romantic partner, which later on creates big problems in the child's life as an adult.In my case, this describes my single mother perfectly who almost treated me like a boyfriend (I can even remember the occasional erotic undertones although at the time I thought it was normal). I also remember that she used to hide her relationships from me when I was a kid, although it was quite obvious with her being weird with her phone or disappearing for the night to "take care of the sick grandma" (which I could easily find out to be false just by making a phone call to grandma). Since she was treating me almost like a surrogate husband, this really messed up with my psyche as a child and seemed to create a dynamic similar to a "cheating wife" which used to hurt me deeply. Not to mention her overbearingly trying to control every aspect of my life. In retrospect, I don't blame her since she wouldn't have known any better as a single mother but I'm not happy with the upbringing she gave me either.Fortunately for me, I literally packed my stuff and moved to another country when I turned 18 because I felt like she was suffocating me and it was getting unbearable. The years that I spent away from her to a great extent seemed to have healed me, and until recently I used to think I completely got rid of her negative influence on me. But the problem is, even though I don't watch porn nor masturbate, I get recurring fantasies involving Oedipal relations and/or a woman being romantically or sexually involved with two men at the same time. Now although you may be skeptical about this and I have no way of proving it, the intensity of these fantasies is such that if I let them run their course, I end up ejaculating without even touching myself (and I have no issue with ED). This shows me that the intense pleasure I get from these is completely psychological in nature, pointing towards my psychological issues and remnants of my broken childhood. (Cont)
>>24091429(Cont)This really worries me because I plan to start a family soon and I don't want my messed up upbringing to negatively affect the dynamic between me and my future wife and children. Fortunately the girl I would be marrying has a great family with no issues with her parents so that would probably help, but I still want to make sure I start the marriage with a strong footing, which is why I'm looking into this.Sorry for the blogpost and if anyone wants to make fun of it they are free to do so but I'm just hoping some psychanons would point me toward the right direction.>>24091432You should be really grateful to your parents. You don't know how much harder life would be with a broken family.
>>24091575>>24091581>*The Emotional Incest Syndrome* by Dr. Patricia LoveI'm unfamiliar with it but going by the pic and what you say it seems to touch on similar points to Gibson's book. Good resource and I'm glad it's already working for you.The process of healing from neurosis is going through these sorts of revelations and seeing things for what they really are. When you're a kid you just accept everything, but in reality our parents tend to be riddled with their own issues and know little about the way the world works.As far as your fantasies and the ejucalation thing - it's a psychosomatic symptom. And those are symbolically representative of the nature of the problem. As you're reasonably familiar with Jung I'm sure you know how deciphering symbolic language works. Apply that to your psychosomatic symptoms.Also I highly suggest doing dream analysis and active imagination. Read pic related for a good resource (language is a bit wishy-washy but the techniques are solid), and check out James Hall's Jungian Dream Interpretation if you want more.The things you see in dreams, fantasy, and your physical symptoms are communication from the unconscious. The symbols contain information about what is going on with us, as well as information to help us overcome the current blockage. So keep a dream journal and do active imagination regularly. Lastly I'd recommend not falling for the trap of stopping once you've overcome this one issue - we always have mental limitations and these practices should be lifelong ones as a matter of good health.Anyway best of luck anon, you've got the right attitude and I'm sure you'll succeed and be a better parent.
>>24091531Sounds like you need to cure that autism then
Middle class kids will be overprotected their whole lives and grow up probably being as neurotic as their mothers. They either become gay, trans, incel, drug addicts or alcoholics.Lower class kids usually become criminals, gang members, drug addicts or alcoholics. But there's a surprising amount them that grow up relatively normal with flaws like anger issues and susceptibility to addiction.
>>24091839>>24091839Thank you very much for the advice and suggestions anon. Indeed when I connected the dots between the recurring fantasies and the experiences of my childhood I was immediately reminded of Jung's discussion of how the unconscious sends "messages" to our consciousness to make us aware of the problem. I have been greatly indebted to Jung during the past years for my personal growth and now he has helped out yet again. My chief worry is that my relationship with the anima would be still be warped after all these years. As far as I understand, in Jung's view any dream or fantasy related to the mother is related to the projection of the anima. What I don't understand is that I don't view other women - and in particular the person whom I intend to marry - with the same lens with which I see my mother. Perhaps the projection of the anima on my mother was already broken when I decided to move away from her, which is what I used to think. But the fact that these recurring fantasies did not stop after I moved suggests that there was a lingering problem. Maybe it was just these realizations about my upbringing that I just needed to have, and in that case the fantasies would now stop on their own? In any case I'll try to look more into it and investigate the resources you mentioned. Thank you again for the helpful replies anon.
bookmarking
>>24091432No.I got raised in one too. One with extended family connections for 3-4 links out.
>>24093230The main concern when dealing with the anima and women is making sure you avoid projecting a fantasy onto a woman and not paying attention to the actual woman in front of you - this is how guys miss a mile of red flags. So long as you're not doing that I wouldn't worry about it so much, things will aright themselves as you dig deeper through the unconscious communication.
Read Sartre
>>24093543Don't read Sartre
In a dating context .Robert Glover - No more Mr Nice Guy
Interesting essayhttps://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:237723/FULLTEXT01.pdf
>>24090915I don't believe that fatherless or motherless children are any different than children that grew up with both. if anything it's more likely that the latter that are more fucked up by their parents in time.except for the first few formative years, especially from the mother.parentless children are actually happier and more free precisely because cultural dogma wasn't drilled into their heads from childhood.parentless children are more a problem to society than they are to themselves really.it's just pure projection from society.
>>24090915Ulysses
>>24095031Mark Manson's Models is even better>>24095282You have no fucking idea what you're talking about
>>24095282gtfohttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2I4v88gLBuI
>>24090915>any books on how to...>any books on becoming... Yeah. Here's an idea. Put down the fucking book and do it. You think ballet dancers read "Ballet for Dummies?" You think pro baseball players read memoirs of other ball players? No. They go out and work at becoming who they want. What the fuck is wrong with you morons?
>>24091958It doesn't work that way
