Just found out my wife is pregnant and I'm gonna be a dad. Any recommended children's literature? I haven't read any kids books since I was a kid and my own parents weren't super literate or into books.
Don’t read down to them, my mom was reading us Treasure Island and lotr and whatnot from a young age. I can’t remember what all books we read because I was a little shit and hardly paid attention.
take them to the library and let them pick out their own books
>>24101825The King of Ireland's Son
>>24101825Roald Dahl is all you need, desu. Good morals, fun writing, characters that actually interest children on a personal level and who they can engage with. Also he hated jews, so won't posion their minds with jewish degeneracy. Grimmfairy tales are good, too. Also try to nab a copy of Ancient myths for children and some easy to follow history books..
Iliad OdysseyRepeat
Aesop's Fables
>>24101825>picrelcongrats OP. may you give your child the same love of literature you were lucky enough to receive
>>24101848Thanks anon, good advice. >>24101854Looks good, thanks!>>24101861I never read Dahl growing up but will give it a look. My wife has a decent collection of Victorian children's literature so we'll be going through those as well.>>24101869>>24101954Can't wait to get the little one excited about the Greeks!
>>24101968oh you said children's literature LMAO this is not children's literature but I guess anything is children's literature if you read it to a child. bonus points if your child's retarded
>>24101825Dr. Suess obviously The classics: where the wild things are and hungry caterpillar
this is a must
>>24101825Alice in WonderlandHobbitChronicles of NarniaOdysseyIliad if it's a boy
>>24101825Get a library card and take out as many picture books as possible.
>>24102107I have enough of an income to just buy them.
>>24101825After they've graduated from Dr. Suess/really basic picture books: 5ish and under: Winnie the PoohHungry Caterpillar/Eric CarlePaddingtonWhere the Wild Things AreAfter that:Alice in WonderlandPhantom TollboothNarnia/HobbitLittle PrinceDr. DoolittleDahl books (Matilda and James and the Giant Peach were particular favorites)Charlotte's WebWatership DownKipling: Jungle Book and Just So StoriesChristmas CarolGolden CompassMix in myths/legends/fairy tales that they seem interested in. Most have fun picture book versions that jumpstarted my personal interest in reading. Most important thing is to get them to love reading/being read to young rather than turning into ipad babiesCongrats on the sex btw anon
>>24101825do a paternity tests to make sure the baby is yours. two or three in case you suspect she is in cahoots with the first test clinic. good luck.
>>24102206Great list!>>24102239Must be sad to live your life convinced of the infidelity of everyone in the world.
the sword in the stone is good if you don't mind monarchist indoctrination or the fact that it has the n-word in it at one point
>>24101825(for when they're older) - The Black Cauldron series and Silver on the Tree. Both old Newberry winners and true "young adult" books, that allow children to experience the ups and downs of growing into adulthood.
>>24101825>Tuesday>Stinky Cheese Man>Very Hungry Caterpillar>My Pet Goat>The Great Baselope
>>24102935>Silver on the TreeThat's from the Dark is Rising series right? I remember loving those books as a kid. Thanks anon!
Start with Seuss. It’s going to be several years before the kid has any interest in hearing a story without pictures to look at.
>>24101825Damn that must fucking suckReminder kids are one of the most horrid financial burdens you can willingly give to yourself and that your wife immediatly quits loving you the moment you have children.
>>24104043>just t-think of the bills!cuck
>>24102239>incelposting in thread like this
>>24104043what an immature retard you are, congrats for having the world view of literal basement dwellers
>>24101972Seconding Dahl, Danny the Champion of the World in particular
>>24101825Get the paternity test ASAP
>>24102239Shut up
>>24101825The Princess and the Goblin
>>24104217fuck off
>>24103187Yep, that's it.
>>24104043Not OP. Suck shit out of my ass. I don't have kids either - that doesn't mean it's right, or good, because it isn't, as you already know.
>>24101825First of all every kid's book written after 1950ish is awful, the equivalent of candySecond of all, don't read them "children's books" like Peppa pig or something. Read them literature that is appropriate for children, e.g. Through the Looking Glass, Narnia, etc. Third of all as soon as possible you should get them to read to YOU before bed instead of you reading to them
>>24102522>>24104109>>24104275even if the possibility is as low as 1% you should make sure the kid is yours so you dont waste your hard-earned money and time raising another man's offspring... or you can continue being a cuck, it's your life.
>>24105136Imagine being this brainwashed by 4chan to distrust women this badly.>>24101848I agree and disagree with this one. I read advanced books to my kid. She's now 5yo and completely capable of reading... but has no interest. She wants me to read chapter books to her rather than her reading Dr Seuss to herself. It's a pain in the ass.>>24101825My kid was in christian pre-k and picked up a love for moral stories. This one is a favorite that we have re-read many times:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59386091-buddhist-stories-for-kids
>>24105016I grew up in a household with 4 other siblings, 2 of which were barely related by blood (my aunt and her husband died so my parents adopted my cousins so they won't go to a adoption center or the like)It was such a pain seeing how much effort and money went to try and afford a upper middle class lifestyle with so many kids, every single school bill and medical bill and so on. Seeing my parents get home absolutely dead inside just to keep some needless brats alive, I would have never done that. Im sure thry could live a upper class and very chique lifestyle but they chose "willingly" to have so many kids.I used to be such a sorry bachelor fuckfest a couple years ago but I decided to willingly give up on sex because im that scared of having little gremlin fuckers around leeching off my rockstar glow, glad I have a EU double citizenship just in case I need to zap somewhere.>>24104089To be honest woman are biologically engineered to love their kid more than their husband, another day blessed by a infertile beautiful gf I can hopelessly get passionate with. Regardless what if my kid comes out like a mongoloid what would I do afterwards?
>>24101825Not jewish, disenchanting, overtly didactic garbage like Calvin & Hobbes.
Basically what >>24105018 says plus a couple of tips based on experience: 1. make the books physically accessible to your sons; if you must, buy cheap or second-hand copies they can wear and tear so your precious hard-backs aren't damaged.2. even before they can read, instill in them the passion for stories. (You) are their story-teller, don't just read aloud The Hobbit, act, make sound effects, and relate what is happening in the book with their simple lives.t. 2 sons, 1 more next May
>>24101825MoominGoosebumpsLittle BearBooks that are holiday and season-themed DK BooksGrimm's Fairy talesFolk story compilations from wherever your people are from
>>24101825I recommend the Redwall novels. They have better prose than most YA novels, and are also pretty wholesome heroic adventure stories.
>>24104043Good, I’m going to have as many as possible then
>>24104043i like to imagine your giant kike nose causes you great issues in day to day life
>>24105713Seconded
>>24101825As an actual dad to a 4 month old baby, I can give you actual books that aren't straight up chapter books, but good board books/picture books:>anything Eric Carle>Goodnight Moon>Frog and Toad>The Pout Pout Fish>Busy Bear Cubs>the BabyLit board book series which has everything from Moby Dick to Alice in Wonderland, each board book being a primer on something different for babies>On the Night You Were Born>pretty much any book about how much dad/mom loves you>For Your Smile by Loryn BrantzGeneral rule of thumb is also to remember that babies can't see shit for the first month or two so high contrast black and white shit is great.
>>24105018>as soon as possible you should get them to read to YOU before bed instead of you reading to themThis is great and I wouldn't have thought of it. Thanks anon!>>24105450Have always had a soft spot for Calvin and Hobbes but de gustibus non est disputandum. I do love how the dad is a next-level troll though.>>24105533Thanks anon. My home office/library is likely to be converted to the nursery so the little one will spend his/her first year+ surrounded by books. And after that, we have books throughout the house. I love the Oliver Wendel Holmes quote "all men are afraid of books who have not handled them since birth." Won't be an issue here! And congrats on the two plus!>>24105836Great advice thanks anon!
>>24101825A must-read for children of all ages
For the newborn period you want books with high contrast illustrations because fresh babies have bad eyesight. I recommend the a love poem your baby can see series by Loryn BrantzFor the 3-6 months period books that double as toys are MVPs. I would get at least one jiggle and discover plushie book, a story pals book and maybe this spider from Melissa and Doug.For 6 months and up Rosie Greening's never touch a _ series is king. I also recommend the peekaboo series by Camilla Reid, wheelie books by DK publishing, electronic books by Vtech and whatever books you can find with peekaboo flaps or buttons to push.When you read to a baby, remember that they probably have no idea what you're talking about. Speak slowly and when you say a word that's illustrated on the page try to point at it so baby grasps the concept that what you're saying refers to the thing.
Protip: if your wife wants to do tummy time during the newborn period there's "books" for that.
>>24105533Making the books physically accessible is good advice. I gave my baby a bookshelf filled with thrifted board books. She thinks pulling them out one by one is hilarious.
>>24101825>Just found out my wife is pregnant and I'm gonna be a dad.One does not assure the other.
>>24105211>brainwashed by 4chani got the idea of the paternity test from someone who's never visited 4chan way before i ever visited 4chan, idiot.
>>24106022>I do love how the dad is a next-level troll though.I grew up disliking the dad because I wanted to be like Calvin. Eventually I became the dad myself.
>readingwhy would you teach your kid to be a fucking nerd. I would just send them out into the world at the youngest age and teach them to be tough and resourceful
>>24104043>your wife immediatly quits loving you the moment you have children.skill issue. normal couples grow closer after having kids.
Dhanill Kharms has some stupendous children's booksWatership Down and Nature Day and Night by Richard WilliamsCalvin and Hobbes, Peanuts and Ben Katchor's works are also very good.
>>24107816Kek Calvin's dad predicted e-celebs reviewing foods
>>24104043>smartest antinatalist
>>24104043If you don't have kids you are a genetic dead end and you should be kicked out of society after a certain age. There's no point in allowing you to enjoy society's support when you cannot even do the bare minimum (procreation) to contribute to society's continuation.
>>24110543This one about the advent of computers also reminds me to really slow down more at work because at one point it didn't used to be this way. For OP's sake I can also recommend Calvin & Hobbes. Some of the older references will be lost on your kid, but I think they'll grow very fond of them.
>>24104043>horrid financial burdensthat's superficial, the worse thing about having a children is that it steals your time.you cannot buy time.
SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT KEKING AND EUGENICS YOU RETARDED CUNTSyou fucking sad childish faggots derail every single thread to either a tranny talk or some other pol bullshithow miserable you are that you have to ruin the board for everyone with your retarded commentsthere isn't a single thread that isn't full of your juvenile cancerous shitif it was at least funny but you keep repeating the same boring comments and ideas over and overgo make a millionth thread about mein kampf instead and stay in there
>>24101825The Wind in the Willows
