>>24778682
evidence or not its probably why Greece fell and was replaced by Rome as the center of civilization. Spartan women, from my knowledge, were especially "loose". That's why Athens won.

>>24779509
athens didn’t win.

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I've accepted that I'm not as smart as I thought I was. Wouldn't be surprised if my IQ was slightly below 100.

>Deloitte to pay money back to Albanese government after using AI in $440,000 report

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2025/oct/06/deloitte-to-pay-money-back-to-albanese-government-after-using-ai-in-440000-report

>Labor senator Deborah O’Neill, who was on a senate inquiry into the integrity of consulting firms, said it looked like “AI is being left to do the heavy lifting”.

>“Deloitte has a human intelligence problem. This would be laughable if it wasn’t so lamentable. A partial refund looks like a partial apology for substandard work,” she said.

>“Anyone looking to contract these firms should be asking exactly who is doing the work they are paying for, and having that expertise and no AI use verified.

>“Perhaps instead of a big consulting firm, procurers would be better off signing up for a ChatGPT subscription.”

>The AFR found several incorrect references in the original report, including nonexistent reports by professors at the University of Sydney and the Lund University in Sweden.

It's so over. Feel bad for anyone in a corporate or academic environment where AI is becoming widespread and ingrained.

This thread allows me to curb my physical writing ambitions.

>>24779548
Okay?

>>24779599
just saying. in a direct, historical sense athens lost to sparta.

>have to leave at 5am to go into the city
>have trouble sleeping all night
>only start to get tired now that it's 4
come on... I gotta improve my sleep hygiene or something. Start turning off the computer screen so there isn't the monitor light blasting throughout the room, and no more phone beside me in bed, but reading before bed only like real adults do.

Had to take painkiller and now it gave me a weridass dream>>24779455

>>24779701
Extra vivid too, ye?

>>24779703
Kinda.
And it was just from paracetamol.

>>24779613
Athens lost out more to Macedon and even Macedon didn't fuck with Sparta

>>24779721
to be honest, what i said was ‘pre-hellenic greece’ which means before athens and sparta. it was just funny that you misremembered the result of the peloponnesian war.

>>24779729
I'm just replying to the guy saying Athens lost to Sparta. Macedon eliminating Athenian independence is a harder defeat. Idk where you were talking about prehellenic Greece or if you were talking with one or multiple anons about it

>>24779613
Okay, going by that if they did in fact, lose....is the world really better for it?

>>24779729
I posted that at 4 am. I was completely out of it honestly and a bit irritated.

Writing poetry is actually peak fun

i’m surrounded by idiots

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>>24779455
I need money. I need to become rich so I don't have work or attend uni anymore, and I can finally spend my day reading and writing whatever I want.

>>24779684
I started doing the old habit of reading 30min before bed. I swear my sleep has never been better.

Moby fuck

At the dawn of perhaps every slumber, especially during a perfectly quartered, halved, or fullmoon, but more importantly, when the nightime atmospheric pressure is ideally low, as all the great scholars well know this to be a key phenomenon the universe hath bless our cursed lot for that ecstatic release of the bowls, and when I have collected the totality of my afternoons gaseous reserves for such occasions, I commit myself to the sinful pleasure of what is known in learned circles as the 'the Dutchman's oven'. As such, when I find myself in my chambers, secured tightly and entirely under a thick, duckfeathered blanked encapsulated in sateen cottons, and in doing so, I assure all solidus material of my own formation remains captured and secure, maximising its potency to the senses. When such preparations and considerations are sure, I finally commit the atrocious act of letting myself loose, the pleasure of which is so transcendental, so beneficial to the faculties of the mind and spirit, it could only ever be truly known to those Olympian beings of old Greece. By holding my sphincter as close to, but taking care to avoid shitting myself, and even by spreading buttocks open upon release, like an insolent cherub mocking his elders, I produce a sound as unholy and as outrageous as the seven trumpets of the angels of Revelations, held for at least fourteen seconds according to my latest records, and consequently, generating a noxious vapour so abhorrent, so repugnant, so rotten, foul, fetid, vile, and terrible, yet immeasurably sweet, fragrant and intoxicating, I am compelled, by some other will than my own, to breath deep this putrid miasma 'till my lungs begin to burst, creating ecstasies in me that far outweigh the adventures of Odysseus, the knight-errantry of Don Quixote, or the passion of Ahab in pursuit of his white whale.

>>24780004
In the cauldron of ruin I call my stomach, these putrid spirits congregated as a potent combination of sulphuric proteins, fatty delicacies, ruffage, grains, legumes, and herbaceous plant, such as freshly gamed venison of the wildest variety, fattened quail pan seared and basted in it's own oils, of which is further converted into a cherry infused port sauce, oignon doux des Cévennes, being the species containing a higher concentration of sulpher oxides, slow roasted sprouts cultivated in Flanders during prime weather conditions, shoulder of the hog with Lombardian red cabbage, brocollini garnished with an excess of hardneck garlic fried in goosefat, cauliflower of Irish origin, as it is well known by horticulturalists of the highest degree that Ireland hosts some of Europe's most acidic soil, Risotto al Tartufo, containing Tuscan white truffles, red lentils imported from Constantinople, and Kashmiri chillis, known for the acute concentration of capsaicin, along with six devilled eggs of the Silver Appleyard duck, and, of course, aside from the dangerous mixture of stout and Beaujolais, my very own whey concentrate, synthesised entirely by me, sourced from heartiest of bovine milk, flavoured with dark Portuguese molasses and Brazillian cacao nib acquired on my travels researching the gastronomic and scatalogical features of the Yanomami people for the faculty of Medicine Pierre et Marie Curie at Sorbonne Univeristy, amalgamated together with fresh ewes milk, collected straight from the tit, to which I have in my experience recovered tenfold the damage done to my musculature in great games of gymnastics, cultivating an aesthetic beauty rivalling the marble statues of Rome as observed by Pliny. The substance resurrected from this horrible conglomeration of foodstuffs could only be compared to that of Kykeon drunk during the initiation rites of Eleusinian mystery cults. Imbibing this ephemeral narcotic causes such arousing invigoration, such a indescribable euphoria, it is a wonder my arsehole has not been banned by the Catholic church.

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I think I should buy some sort of shelf.

Mutuals somehow get to know when I'm traveling to their city one way or another despite not explicitly showing or telling people. What the hell.

>>24780025
Fucking loser NPC.

I dont know if this was a coincidence or just like my subconscious. But 3 days ago a thought popped into my mind about a sort of ritual object like the eucharist monstrance. Because I remember seeing something that looked like that in a game or movie a long time ago.

Then the next day, I decided to buy Black ops 4 because it was on sale and I never played the zombies on it. First map I played was IX and then I remembered that the ritual object I was thinking about was shown in its cinematic. What do you think?

Everything goes south all time. Hope I can do best next time.

I'm an empath, shorty know my impact

>>24780186
It happens, I still can't tell if it's a higher entity attempting to tell you something or if it's a result of consciousness affecting reality.

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>>24780186
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ng8bam4RxEM&t=32s&pp=2AEgkAIB

>>24780204
wtf is that even supposed to mean? That you have empathy? Yeah, majority of humans do. How does that make you special?

>>24780228
think you just got tilted by a 15 yo soundcloud rapper who sips lean

Nine Inch Nails is the best band of all time

>>24780161
>Taking the bait.
But let's be honest, you knew and wanted a bite anyways.

So when I got home just now, I saw a sticker on the frontdoor from FedEx saying we missed a package yesterday, and that they'll try again, so I grabbed it so I could show my mom later in case it was hers. Then the other people I live with got annoyed with me and came and got the sticker to put back on the door because they think the sticker is somehow for the deliveryman? lol what? The sticker is for the occupants... why would the deliveryman need the sticker... lol. Whatever. Bizarre. Makes me think I'm losing my mind.

>>24780305
fucking hell you need to move out mate

>>24780308
Like as if the sticker isn't there, the deliveryman will be like "oh, this must be a duplicate package that they already got, nevermind lol" but I gave up on trying to reason with them about it

>>24780313
there’s a book to be written about the specifically stupid pain of living at home

would i rather be me, buying cigarettes on my way to a party, or would i rather be the guy serving me chatting up the only other cashier there. i think the one serving me has a better story.

>>24780375
In their defense, they put a sticky-note on it saying "ring the doorbell and call this #" but a) they always ring the doorbell, they don't need special instructions for that, and b) not sure if they call like that. In any case, just fuckin' listen for the door when they come by today. Whatever. I was just baffled by how annoyed they seemed by it, like I did something rude and stupid. I see a card-sticker on the front door of where I live, I bring it inside, duh.

drank 9 cans of stella and i’m still not there yet

I feel like postmodernism is hated not because people can't fathom either understanding or subscribing to its fundamental tenets about the nature of reality and society, but because it is plain to see how hypocritical it is in practice. XY is a social construct, but being mean against brown people and this one specific people from the middle east is as grave a sin as denying the immaculate conception circa 1100. We're just monkeys on a mudball flying through the void and nothing matters lmao but you should take this X or Y establishment-approved cause that you read about in mainstream media super seriously. And so on. It wants to have things both ways and that is where antipathy against it stems from more than any place else, it's not a matter of "people longing for simpler, less critical times" or reactionaries being a drag on the glorious march towards utopia (very postmodern idea, huh) or whatever else journos tell you.

I should have had a simple glazed donut. I went out on a limb to try a seasonal filling, and it was messy and overly sweet with an artificial taste. Now, it's too late. I can't cover over my mistake without going back and eating another donut, which would be ridiculous

One of the reason why I don't join dating apps because I don't wanna give my data.

>>24780507
Try stella cider

sportsmanship

>>24780542
I want to live in late 70s early 80s England, dress myself as casual, go to football matches, chimpout with lads, listen to punk, post punk, new wave, whatever all the music that came in those years
https://youtu.be/necOxH0vRzg

>>24780569
very funny

I'm writing a fantasy novel based on this one debate.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horror_vacui_(philosophy)

>>24780542
>RLP rugby shirt, maison kitsune joggers and black CPs

effay but nerdy-ish cool
lanklet jock vibes

>>24780596
You're funny. Hops are estrogenic by the way

>>24780606
mate. i’m english. hops might be estrogenic but not drinking lager makes you even gayer.

Bros, I'm obsessed. The mentally unwell Chinese cosplayer I follow on xitter showed up in my dreams last night.

>>24780625
Nothing like a pinch of snuff and a fullers down at the old pub I dare say

>>24780542
blue's clues

>>24779455
sometimes i search the archives for posts pertaining to a subject I'm interested in. so much garbage, but then you'll find stuff like this with no replies.
>>24229258
thank you anon

Pynchon's new novel released
thoughts?

>>24780677
lmfao that’s exactly what i said on fa: £700 just to hear blue’s clues jibes all day

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>>24780680
link doesn't work

>>24780672
are you under the impression snuff is a big thing (or even legal) in uk?

>>24780699
Ive only been to england once. Within 2 hours of arriving a man in a suit invited me to an sex club to bang his wife. She grabbed my hand and made me grab her crotch in the late night restaurant we were in. Then they called me a poof and left

>>24780721
I'm assuming you got chips and something battered and therefore speedran the great British experience in under 2 hrs
Nta but I'm impressed

>>24780721
er alright i’m sure you had a great time in south wales but i honestly have no reply to this.

I am unbearably, overwhelmingly, and constantly horny. I get next to no relief from this. It consumes my every waking thought from morning to night.

once i was eleven years old

>>24780749
you should fap more then

>>24780765
2 years nofap and counting.

>>24780768
terrible
do you at least get laid once in a while?

>>24780771
Hahahahahaha
No

>>24780775
you are fucked up then

>>24780775
y. 17yo

The internet lost all escapist value to me since around 2019. If not for the gigantic backlog of all the actually funny, entertaining or sometimes interesting shit from before then, I think I would only use the internet for work or official matters. Like, the internet stopped producing content that was any of those three things since then completely.

>>24780803
the internet still produces some pretty cool porn shit I wank off to

told my whore wife to delete her past fuccbois off facebook/ig. dumb bitch cried about it, "this is so highschool". yeah i don't give a fuck you dumb slut.

>>24780815
based

>>24780815
Rape correction fixes this

The root cause of a great deal of stupidity is not giving a fuck, selfishness. If you don't care about something, why be careful about it? Only if it is for the purpose of something else you care about. Then it becomes a a tool to serve.

>>24780803
Welcome to systemic enshittification.
Here's your mandatory AI psychosis to help you endlessly cope and be happy.

>>24780764
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1tmRPRNOw4

I can't get over the fact that every form of new popular media is pure slop and everyone consumes it and is influenced by it. I don't really mind the media itself because I can just ignore it, but I do mind that everyone around me is changing for the worse because of it. Gf is obsessed with her looks because her feed is filled with skinny bitches on every platform she uses, parents and older relatives are now conspiracy retards (but it's kind of hypocritical to be one and still waste your life away on tiktok slop), friends changing their personality based on the newest trend, and I feel retarded because I'm no better and I don't do anything in this regard, I have this stupid feeling of both superiority and inferiority for them where I feel better than them but can't stop being an ass-kisser and keep listening to their shit. I wish I could actually live to my ideal self but I'm too much of a wimp to stop caring what close people would think of me.

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Reality lies upon the edge of thorns

I miss you.

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Ever since my best friend found a girlfriend he's been spending all his time with her. She even moved in with him (right away, I might add). We went from hanging out multiple times a week for years and years, like real best friend shit; now I've seen him only twice in person since mid-July. It's fucking depressing. I've got a ton of other shit I'm dealing with too, I got scammed over the summer, now I owe a bunch of money and I'm also studying for my HLLQP so I can start a career as a life insurance agent and that's stressful too. I'm just praying to God that He'll intervene with the debt I owe and that I'll be successful with the life insurance venture. I don't want to be a NEET no more, I want to be successful and have a career and this is my one and best bet. Then on top of all of that I have my continual worries about the health of my loved ones since they're all getting older and I often feel sad thinking about the future. Oh well. The best thing I can do is give this life insurance thing my all. Pray for me bros.

>>24780832
Where can i read sbout this

Isolation! Isolation!
Isolation! Isolation!
[epic synth covers you like a cloak]

when you think about it obama was the ultimate culmination of leftwing boomerism, and trump was the ultimate culmination of right wing boomerism.

Fucking boomers won man, they got everything they wanted, now they slowly slink off to the grave.

damn i got yelled at by a karen who was on her phone it's so over i'm going to be doxxed, fired, arrested, and basically my life ruined because i inconvenienced a white woman.

>>24781310
>got scammed
>still owe the money somehow
I've never been scammed but shouldn't this be a once and done kind of thing? Also be glad for your friend, he is (hopefully) getting crazy laid. Ask him to hang out somewhere out of his house, maybe he feels like he can't really "bro down" with his gf there.

>>24780815
Hey man you married her. If you had a problem with it why didn't you say something sooner

>>24781310
I've been that guy before. Have you tried hitting him up, asking to hangout?

>>24780812
I've been pretty disillusioned with porn lately. Mostly returning to old favorites when I watch it. If I find a "new" video it's usually from like 4 years ago at least

call me when your friends go home

>>24781690
is this some kind of shitty song, sounds like a crappy indie song from brooklyn

>>24781582
i keep checking my city's reddit to see how ruined my life is but i don't see it yet, probs on twitter or bluesky. damn. i normally wouldn't even go outside this early, but i had to buy groceries. fuck this civilization.

>>24781717
where else do karens post shit when they want their simps to ruin someone?

man i browse the cocks on sniffies for my area and there are almost no suckable cocks damn i only saw porno cocks before so i thought i was like average at best but now seeing all these real world cocks i'm like damn i might be in the top tier of cocks.

>>24781739
You should chop your cock off, shove it down your throat, and choke to death on it.

>>24781742
interesting way to rope but too much work

In a way, I think I like the current state of public discourse better than I did pre-pandemic. The jig is just up all around, the masks are all off. It's raw, it's honest, it shows its teeth, the fakeness, the pretension that you did or said what you did because of fighting for le social justice, le free speech or XY values is just fucking gone and it's amazing.

fuck fuck fuck fuck die die die death incest incest sex sex pussyp usy cum cum ucm cumc ock ckock lonely loney lloney loeny lpissed off angry angry angry angry angry angry angry nagry nagry nagry angry angry RAGE RAGE RAGE FUCK FUCK FUC KANGER ANGER RAGE RAGE GRAGFE FUCK FUC KFUCK odcile iognore docile dicole resistance ignore ignore ignore ignore lonley ingore loneyl ingore ingore ingore lonely very loenyl ignore ignore ignore ignore despair despair despair crigne cringfe depsria cgrine cringe despair cgrieng

>>24781880
Okay Quentin Compson!!! Go off!!!

>>24781596
>why didn't you say something sooner
better late than never wouldn't you say?

>>24781310
I've been there. He'll eventually come to his senses once he realizes that he's lost all his social contacts and now only has his GF left. They all do.

Just bought a used copy of Watership Down for 5 bucks, what am I in for?
I love anthropomorphic animals, always have. Was a big fan of Redwall, Starfox, Dota 2, all kinds of stuff with anthropomorphic animals. I just think stuff with animals is more interesting than humans, I'm not a furry or anything though

>>24779455
I am a sick degenerate porn addicted loser

>>24779455
Week 4 of NoFap. The horniness grows more constant, like a simmer in the background of my life

I think deep down I'm actually more scared of experiencing positive emotions than I am of experiencing negative ones. The negative ones I have plenty of experience with, I know what impacts me and how and what tends to assuage the pain, it has even become kind of a dull ache rather than an outright pain after all this time, really. But if I hit it off with someone and fell in love, and so did they, I would feel exposed in ways I have very little experience with, in ways I would not know how to deal with. I don't think I could handle the emotional exposure to someone else's mercy on that level. Especially not that of a woman.

>>24782025
going through that right now. it's basically as awful as you imagine. there are many times when i think why did i give this chick my number. why did i text her. why did i meet up with her those times. i could have avoided this by not doing any of those. she's really great though, but honestly idk man. it's too late to back out now, i'm basically locked in for the ride. god i hope this doesn't end poorly.

just thought of the best argument against antinatalists. all we really do is put the potential child in the right room. the sperm (which is you, already half of you) races to the egg. you do want to be born.

>>24779455
I'm not sure what project to work on. I got 3. 1 is something that i've been working on since i was in late elementary or early middle school. it has evolved over time from a suburban horror that takes place on halloween, to an suburban/urban fantasy with horror elements among others, that takes place in the late summer to early winter. 2 is a suburban fantasy/horror/metaphysical exploration story that i haven't fleshed out as much as 1. it came to me a year or 2 ago. 3 is the most recent one that is a futuristic sci fi story with some fan service. it's the only story i have that has content based in horniness.

1 is the most fleshed out of the 3 and i have written the most for, but it's probably the longest and it could probably be split up. 2 i fleshed out a bit, but i don't really have a plot yet and it's probably going to be close to 1 in length. 3, i have a 1-2 potential premises for why the character is in the future, but not much of a plot yet. It started as a simple premise of man in future surrounded by women that satisfy a sexual fetish. It would also most likely be shorter than 1 and 2.

>>24779455
i voted democrats in 2016, im still waiting for my blowjob madonna.

>>24782118
Scrap all of them and kill yourself instead.

>>24782138
that's already one of my plans, but you should consider the same

Véred forrjon mint az örvény árja,
Rendüljön meg a velő agyadban,
Szemed égjen mint az üstökös láng,
Húrod zengjen vésznél szilajabban,
És keményen mint a jég verése,
Odalett az emberek vetése.
Húzd, ki tudja meddig húzhatod,
Mikor lesz a nyűtt vonóbul bot,
Sziv és pohár tele búval, borral,
Húzd rá cigány, ne gondolj a gonddal.

May your blood boil like the whirlpool and your marrow shake,
Your eyes blaze like a comet and strings ring like calamity,
Severe like the hail - what has been sown is long gone
Play until you may, til your bow turns to a stick
Heart and glass full of sorrow and wine,
Play, gypsy, play until you may.

>>24782157
rip

gettin busy with it

was nearly late for work this morning because I read a bunch of shota yaoi doujins and lost track of the time
help

lucked out

I've converted to Buddhism, and I've begun to recognize the sources of my suffering and clinging.
4chan makes me suffer but I don't know how to leave this fucking place.

>>24779455
>cum quaffed blonde obscuring grey prune folds.

it's almost 2:30am and I have to get up before 8 fuckkkk

>>24782275
Have you ever thought about how modern of a problem that is?

I had a dream where in the near future where the perfect cognitohazard image is generated and is spread on the internet, sparking an apocalyptic mass psychosis event to the point that the collective perception of reality collapses into a cruelty squad esque hell dimension. I was shown all of this happening from a sort of movie watching perspective, but it switched to me being in my room browsing an imageboard on my computer. I see the image, like a flashbang leaving unbearable static on my senses. Like experiencing every individual sensation on the spectrums of every sense all at once. I remembered the "movie" that I just watched and realized the world had ended. I started thinking about my family and pets but whatever I thought would be "outlined" in the static just like how you see stuff behind your eyelids when falling asleep. I realized I was dreaming and all my senses returned. I look at my computer screen and saw that the image was one of those "born to shit forced to wipe" skeleton type memes and people had managed to reply to it, meaning some people were able to get out of the state it puts you in like I had able to. I fly out of my window into the night hearing people scream and my vision fades back into movie watching mode but this time showing myself and a dog headed guy with anime tshirt pulling apart an obviously pre-raped woman in half by the legs with narration explaining that an unconscious schziophrenic AI had accidentally created an image that upon seeing it would disable the parts of the brain that collects sensory input and forms a coherent whole perception of reality, and the only people able to leave the state are loser shizoid autist imageboard users that were already in their heads disconnected from reality. Everyone of this type would become demons that mold the static perceptions of humanity into the hell world. Dream ends on a shot of the Earth millions of years into the future completely covered in brains and oceans of semen.

>>24782329
Isn't this basically the plot of that Stephen King novel Cell?

>>24782331
I never read that so idk. I assumed it was just an even more fucked up Instrumentality especially with the part with the Earth covered in planet-spanning brain matter, likely everyone's brains merged into one.

I went a complete autistic schizo meltdown the past few days due to AI induced psychosis. Where i tried to connect large forms of various human knowledge into a system that tried to make sense of it all. It was some alfred north white head slop along with enactivist slop that tried combine shit from likes of jung hegel Schopenhauer heidigger and other fields like biology semiotics cybernetics computer science theology sociology psychology mathematics etc.
I came back with some sort of validation system that seemed to be a neat trick in describing alot of systems and the world but ultimately fails since the world isnt so neatly ordered. Its like the universe seems to validate itself with itself in a methodology that either persists negates or repeats by unification or dissolving, and all higher forms of knowledge need to come from reality or else its system starts to become schizo because it isnt based in reality wether it be a human animal or whatever. Also i came to the conclusion that ai due it being a turning machine in and of itself without any true basis in reality will always fall into some sort of hallucinations after some sort of some point.
I got hit with an omega dose of anxiety right after.

listening to my favorite band, nine inch nails

Where do I get meaningful feedback without putting work up here or dealing with normies or worse - redditors?

>>24782370
Obscure, semi-dead forums
>inb4 I tried /wg/ /wng/
I said obscure ones, 4chinz is basically reddit 2

Crying on the phone to government employees superior to crying in government buildings

what makes me sad right now and depressed as fuck is that when i joined mandatory military service nobody came to say goodbye or even asked about me except my parents of course and yet my friends none of them seemed to care but when their other friend joined they seemed concerned and asked about them and called them to make sure that they were ok
what the fuck is wrong with me then?
when i had to go to the hospital while in service i called one of my friends to hangout with as the military hospital was near his house, he seemed bothered half of the time and wanted for the hang out to end so he can go home now my other friends are telling me how concerned they are because some of their friend are joining by the end of this year yet i feel like nobody cares when it comes to me i have served for 1 year and 8 months now the calls i received can be counted on a single hand

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>>24779455
The problem of countries that breed too much is unsolvable in a civilized way. What are you going to do to punish african countries for over-breeding. Tarif them? With what money? Remove aid? People die.

i am so extremely fucked. THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!

>>24779455
Let's say, someone I don't like is having a heart attack, is it unethical for me to just let them get on with it? I can't think of any argument other than
>muh do to them what you would want done for you.

>>24782534
In some European countries inaction is a crime, even for strangers. Kinda funny now that I think about it.

>>24780815
The fact that she's crying over it shows you're a beta she wants nothing to do with but has very little choice in the matter. When I did this to my partner she complied willingly because she respects my authority and values me far more than anyone else or any supposed sentimental memory she may have had. For your woman to cry reveals the thought of her being stuck with you for the rest of her life with no possibility of escape through her ex-flames is a devestating fate. A sad fate for a woman to be stuck with a beta. Good luck with the divorce, where you'll inveitably get charged with emotional cruelty.

>>24782531
Who even cares if Africans breed too much? Not like Chad spills over into Europe.

>>24782531
wait 20 years then ask the same question

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I once had a cute penpal in another country. I told her I would visit and she got enthusiastic but then I got depressed and stopped replying for weeks. She got mad of course. What the FUCK was I thinking.

>>24782689
Probably nothing, if you were truly depressed.

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>>24782696
Anyway it was exactly 9 years ago and it suddenly came back to my mind to torment me.

Man, this Crime And Punishment book is good, I'm a hundred pages in and I'm hooked
A lot of the time, reading feels kinda like a chore for me, but this book doesn't feel like that at all

tfw from kazakhstan

>>24782516
Maybe you just don't make them feel very good as a friend
I've felt like that a lot throughout my life with many friends, like I'm permanently the third wheel or an accessory friend, and I think it's because I don't really put any effort into friendships or anything
I saw this quote recently
>People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
I can see this being true, and if that's the case, then maybe you should work on making your friends feel good or like think of fun or exciting things they might like

just took my daily shit
feelsgoodman.jpg

I was a semi-hardcore Catholic for about 29 years. I now realize the unfathomable amount of suffering experienced over the centuries negates the possibility of a benevolent, interventionist God. There's 'suffering builds character' stuff and everything else. Pure lunacy.

Everytime I finally make up my mind and decide I'm gonna get a haircut, immediately my hair begins to look good to me, even though just a day prior it was too long and had to go. Anyone else like this? It's like indecisiveness and nostalgia on a small-scale.

>>24782737
How do you know this isn't the best of all possible worlds?

>>24782737
>Asking God for intervention as a Catholic
lol ok

>>24782737
>In this numinous recital of Das Wohltemperierte Klavier one was convinced of Bach as essentially a religious composer, a profound humanist that emerges from his deepest psyche yet not from any formalized expression of belief in any specific creed, despite his devotion to the Lutheran faith. Such an extraordinary uplifting evening that managed to regenerate my faith in creative human nature in the face of the profoundly negative and threatening aspects of our times. Surely an experience given to few in concert halls today.

Find solace in art, anon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omrH0kQkrIs&list=OLAK5uy_lRPmNKAG56r-eBrFC3Yh5vQrxFODGSlI8&index=15

I don't have problems with going to bed anymore. Turns out really all you have to do is not look at digital screens and read. Last night, I read Lin Tao's Leave Society. Weird little book. I wake up in bed and sit up to hear my roommate snore. I prefer him to the roommate I had last year. I have a lot of thoughts after just waking up. Usually thoughts where I miss my ex and fantasize about girls I could be with. Maybe I could start reading when I wake up to slow that down too. But how is that different from the pricks that wake up and watch short form content? I am only being snobbish. There is not much difference. I don't know why these thoughts of my lack of physical touch are the strongest in the morning. I have friends. I am not alone nor even that particularly lonely. I just want some psychical touch. I roll out of bed to take a shower and I see myself in the mirror, I sleep shirtless. The weight I have lost seemed to be catching up with me. I take my brush and go into the shower. It's more efficient to brush your teeth as you shower. Something about the warm water producing the same hormones as a hug. I dry myself to put on my clothes. Tracksuit day. I have a short story to finish and two classes to get to. All I want to do is jerk off, eat slop and watch a film. And knowing that will make me feel worse, I put my books and laptop in bag. I walk to the multifaith center. I think I saw a girl I had a really nice conversation with at a party. We talked for about 2 hours. She is very pretty and not particularly interested in me. It's not her. I thought I liked her but if I can't even recognize her, maybe not that much. I think about my short story. I have to workshop it the next day. I realized my bag is a little lighter. I have forgotten a book at home. I go back to take it. My roommates are still asleep and I look at the soup I made yesterday. I thought about having some but I need to lose weight so I went back out again to the multifaith center. It is relatively quiet and there is tea. There is also a whiteboard in there with "Words of Wisdom". Somebody has written Fake it Till You Make it. I think we would only ever make it if we learnt not to fake anymore. My short story is good but my discipline is not good enough to finish it. I open 4chan to look at the wrestling and literature boards. I don't even watch wrestling. I follow it for the drama. I also didn't realize the new Pynchon book came out. I say hi to the nice chaplain lady. I wish we had a good buddhist community and not some white guy with beads. I miss my country.

>>24782720
thank you random anon

>uber driver got a little more inquisitive about my life than they usually do
>I answered truthfully like a retard due to sleep deprivation
>Now I am left wondering if he won't use the info he got for some shady stuff or simply break into my home to rob me
Oh, the joys of living in the third world.

>>24782816
Neat, fun little read. And yeah, I want to start doing the whole reading before bed thing, both for improving sleep hygiene and, of course, more reading.

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She was so nice to me. She treated me so well that I wanted to stay close to her, all the time. I wrote poems for her. I hugged her every time we met. But my boundless affection was a weight so heavy that she couldn't carry it. My depression is a issue of mine and no one else's, but I was dragging her down to hell with me.
She kept distance from me, and I didn't understand why she didn't want to talk to me anymore.
My friends knew what was going on and refused to tell me, thus I was left in the dark.
I thought that they had a problem with me, so it took me to pledge in front of hundreds of my department colleagues that they were never my friends and they'd never see me again until someone finally told me what was going on.
But it was too late. I'm going radio silent, parting ways with everyone never to be seen again. I'll never get the chance to apologize to her. I'm the villain of this story, against my will.
My depression got worse, and now I'm hellbound for all eternity as a consequence of my unwanted villainy.
I just wish I had a chance to say "I'm sorry"

Sheetz removed their quesorito. The west has fallen.

>>24782871
What actually happened?

>>24782891
First of all, I have anxiety, depression, autism, and probably bipolar disorder.
There's this girl at uni, who became my friend. She was one of the few people who saw me for who I really am. She was very nice to me. She became one of my most valuable friends.
I'm catholic, so every day when praying the rosary, I'd put her in my intentions. So I prayed for her every day because I really liked her.
But my affection had no limits. I would write poems for her referring to her as a "flaming-haired angel" (flaming because she's red haired) and say stuff like she's he reason I won't commit suicide. It was too much for her, she started drifting away.
She would stop responding to my messages, and she would get very uncomfortable around me.
I didn't knew what was going on, but a colleague of mine knew. When I asked him, he just said "I don't wanna get involved" and I was left in the dark. Two other colleagues just straight up ignored me.
I talked to my two closest friends there, one said "I don't wanna get involved" and the other said "solve it yourself".
So I went to the department group chat and told everyone "you were never my friends it seems. I hope I never see your faces again" and left the group. It took this for my friend to tell me what was going on.
But I'm keeping distance from everyone now. I'll never get the chance to apologize to her.
The least I can do is keep distance since I'm a cancer to everyone, but I'll pray a novena for her. I never wanted to hurt her, but I guess I'm really the villain of this story.

>>24782902
You shouldn't have told her you were suicidal. Later, you shouldn't have crashed out in the group chat. Hope this helps.

>>24782871
>>24782902
Yeah, you came on too heavy, not to mention too much of a possible burden. Sorry anon.

>>24782908
>>24782910
It's done. There's no turning back.
I'm a non-stop-spreading tumor everywhere I go. I deserve to be shot with a .44 loaded with hollow-points at point-blank range. But that'll never happen.
I can't fathom why God would curse me with such villainy. I don't wanna be like this.

>>24782913
Have you considered pulling your head out of your ass?

>>24782919
If it were as easy as this, yeah

>>24782913
You're just a faggot teenager, you'll grow out of it.

>>24782922
Let this version of yourself die. You can create a new one. Stop obsessing over her.

>>24782923
I'm in my mid 20's
>>24782925
It's not that easy when I've been depressed and suicidal for the past 4-5 years with no hope of getting better. And now my social life here is over.
I can start anew if I go abroad for my masters, but right now I'm alone.

got crusty sock dust in my eye

>>24782934
You seem like an exceptionally stupid individual.

>>24782938
I'm a 130IQ individual with a lot of psychiatric problems

>>24782939
I can tell, just by the way that you write, that this isn’t true. Have you ever had a legitimate IQ assessment performed by a psychiatrist? I seriously doubt it.

>>24782953
>just by the way that you write
English is not my first language.
>Have you ever had a legitimate IQ assessment performed by a psychiatrist?
The 130IQ result was done by a psychiatrist.

>>24782955
Nta but you should try touching grass. Habitually. This is not a joke. You spend too much time in your head and that isn't some divine curse, it's a choice. On a less abatract note you probably have cptsd and would benefit from limiting your nocturnal tendencies in favor of diurnal ones. I recommend reading Sun & Steel and outright forbid you from any "I'm such a terrible creature" self-pitying/loathing cycle for the next millenia.
Also, pick your poison between running or lifting and do it four times a week every week for at least a year. The same goes for eating and sleeping well. This won't magically change you but will starve some of your nocturnal ruminations since it's hard to think your way into dellusion when you are too busy catching your breath while going for one more rep.

>>24782992
>you probably have cptsd
Gonna consult my psychiatrist about that
>forbid you from any "I'm such a terrible creature" self-pitying/loathing cycle for the next millenia.
These thoughts just appear out of the blue without me wanting them, a lot of times. That's the problem
>pick your poison between running or lifting
I'm already doing BJJ 2x per week, but will start lifting next week.
Thanks for the insightful and helpful post. Do you think I can fix what I broke or it's over and I should just wait for the next chapter?

Pretty jarring seeing late zoomers and gen alpha kids adopt the 2000's era youtube aesthetic. Complete with pixelated webcams and emo hair and CRT televisions.

>>24783006
How are you fucking stupid enough to tell a friend, not even someone you are dating, that they are the only reason you haven't committed suicide?

>>24783032
Autism, unironically

>>24783046
This is why I hate autists. They're so tiresome.

>>24781958
4 weeks and 1 day of NoFap. This is genuinely a slog man, I am going to lose my mind. Plus my dick is shrinking

>>24779455
If I can't win the lottery, I'll have to work. But then I wouldn't be much happier if I did. All I can think about is how to win the lottery, like what if magic was real instead, since it's me who's doing it. It's completely delusional. But this new gambling addiction's been keeping me off of chocolate so I'm writing it off as the price of losing weight. Or something to do. After all, I kicked smoking and drinking when I wanted. Stopped smoking weed the second I felt like it and been straight edge for years. But I'm prone to addiction. Never could be addicted to sex because porn had already gotten in the car. Can't imagine I'd give it up before getting into a relationship, since it could be years and what, do people just jerk off without it or don't jerk off at all? How much is too much? But then again, it's what's keeping me from engaging with women. I should kick that habit too. Thought I'd get back on track and rediscover the plot of my life if I found love. Like that was the missing part and addiction was just a way to fill it. That's starting to fall apart too, and I feel it's only a need, too. Like a thirst to make you drag across the wasteland. You can't trust other people to want to love you, themselves or anyone. Not reliably. Not in the long term, at least. It has to be what they want and even for myself that changes daily. So I thought if I'd win the lottery, I'd invest money into prostitutes. The beautiful kind, preferrably ones who are good at acting. Couldn't stand looking into her eyes to see another wage slave staring back at me, wishing she was the one with the money, like she probably would be. Really I'd like to do charity and be a father, but some sappy part of me is ready to throw it aside if it's not in the cards. To be poetic, if I can't be a man, I'll be a snake. If I can't be a snake, I'll be a worm. If I can't be a worm, I won't live at all.

I never leave the house, and the only people I ever interact with, however briefly, are my parents
I have a lot of anger and resentment in me about how unfair life is and I just often feel like my mind is always actively working against me, and I always feel so exhausted, mentally and physically, and I've got so much brain fog all the time, like I'm so tired all the time but I have so much trouble sleeping.
Idk if I got some kinda neuroses, or mental illness or what, but nothing really excites me anymore, I don't care for music, making friends and maintaining friendships feels like such a chore, everything just feels like a chore.
A long time ago, I wanted a girlfriend really bad, much like any young man I suppose, and I thought if I was positive all the time and friendly and fun, then I'd get a girlfriend, but I realized, girls only seem to love themselves and want to be taken care of, by like a provider and protector, and how can I take care of anyone if I can't even afford to provide enough for myself? Housing prices are insane, and there didn't seem to be any way for me to work full time and afford a studio apartment, because well, I wanted to move out because what girl would want to date a guy who lives with his parents? So I cut contact with basically everyone and started studying programming, I fell for the learn to code meme, and I thought maybe I could make something and make a lot of money. Well I spent a long time doing that, and started making a game, but I realized the game I want to make will take me literally years to make. Not to mention that entire atmosphere is way oversaturated, and OpenAI can program better than I can now. Spent years trying to make money on crypto and that didn't work out either. Spent years bullshitting around in deadend wageslave jobs dealing with assholes on a daily basis. So I kinda gave up, and here I am now, 31 and poor, recovering alcoholic and no prospects, no hope for the future, living with mom and dad
I'm starting to believe that my reality is designed to just be a bunch of bullshit, like maybe I'm cursed or something. The only person I know who's been really successful, he basically has no morals and is a sociopath and has no qualms with fucking over anyone. So maybe that's the secret, maybe the secret to success is just being a wicked person, idk, but I think about this a lot, and I'm not cut out to be a wicked person

>>24783129
I feel ya

You fucked with my head.

>>24782934
Maybe get on some proper medication, anon. Or you could get hooked on heroin and other drugs like I did, which actually did work in helping me, but ruined my life in all other kinds of ways. But hey, at least I didn't end up killing myself and I learned to love myself and life in the meantime because of it.

>>24783215
Already taking my meds. They aren't helping. The other anon said I might have CPTSD, I'm looking into it.

>>24783129
Whenever I start seeing a new woman, I stop watching porn for quite a while.

>>24783144
>maybe that's the secret, maybe the secret to success is just being a wicked person
I honestly think that that's true.

>>24783150
Somehow this (you) made me feel seen. So, thank you. Thought I'd vomit my stuff some more. Not like I'm going to see a therapist. I last cried after a bad date. Or more like a great one, but she had someone else in line. Felt like I wanted to die for the first time since it brought me back to where I had started, and that restart had gotten old a few times back. Before that I cried at my best friend's grave. Died 25, heart condition. I read letters his kid had drawn, wrapped in plastic. Probably had been made to draw them since she's 4 or 5 now, so 3-4 then. Never even knew him but there he was as a stick man with her. That made me think how shitty my own depression had been that he'd died. Like it was all over for me too, no point in trying if doing everything right could get you rugpulled like he had been. I cried that I wouldn't become a doctor after all, since I'd forgotten all of that stuff playing Skyrim for 3 years. I hate that crying made me feel justified to myself in that I actually did mourn him, since we weren't real brothers but he used to call me his brother and I never had a blood brother. Now he's been teleported to the end of the universe, beyond all the Star Wars shit and the end of time. They buried him near a church like the rest of my friends who died too young to drugs and stupid violence. I want to be buried there too so I can't move out of my home town. Otherwise I'll have to write it in my will and that's too melodramatic. Won't matter where they lay me.

tl;dr the thread

>>24783281
This is /lit/, anon, we don't believe in 'tl;dr' here, and if you do, then this probably (read: certainly) isn't the place for you, try posting on >>>/r9k/ or >>>/b/ instead.

a short story where the main character is a YouTuber who makes man-on-the-street trivia videos where he asks people various questions, often with embarrassing outcomes, and one guy is so embarrassed by his appearance in a video he ends up killing himself, so the main character... does what? hmm

>>24783301
don't tell me to go to other boards, I read plenty of long books, I just don't like to read long posts of some autistic loser. I think most people don't deserve the time it takes to read a giant long ass post, most thoughts can be conveyed in a few sentences.

Do you ever think about what you did and regret it?

>>24783319
Yes.

trying to fall asleep: hey remember that cringe thing you did 10 years ago

>>24783327
Same. For me it was throwing my graduation hat at the end of the ceremony like they do in the movies, but I was the only one who did it. It was a small school and we were all on stage. That was the worst feeling I've ever had while going to pick it up.

Saw a couple in the park today and felt physical pain in my chest as I looked at them. Is there data on whether or not loneliness can be harmful to the body?

If my moral values seem totally at odds with the structure of the society I live in, is that an indication that my moral values may be flawed? Or should I remain steadfast in what I believe?
What's even the point of having morals when no one else follows the ones you have? No one will change their behavior for me, so wouldn't it be better to just go along to get along?

>>24783335
it isn't

>>24783316
Maybe he tries to go back and find what happened to all his other past interviewees? Then you could have little vignettes about him tracking down and meeting each character?

>>24783337
>Should I go against my morals because everyone else is doing it
is this basically what you're asking because the answer is yes

People still believe in good/evil, male/female, raw/cooked, naked/clothed, child/adult, etc.

>>24783346
what's your point?

>>24783353
Is that a rhetorical question?

>>24783346
Yes, there are different states of matter. That's true. That's good that people still believe that.

Struggling to find a writing group irl or online that I vibe with. Every time I join one, it turns out to be full of idk how to describe it, r*ddit types. People who have a mindset so foreign to me that we just can't work together productively.

>>24783358
are you stupid?

>>24783382
Your hobby is filled with nerds. You're going to have to get the fuck over that if you want to get anywhere in it.

>>24782737
when i was a kid i went to the church with my mom and i really was a good kid, in part thanks to piousness of my mother
in HS i didn't even think about that sorta stuff, i just smoked weed, played videogames and hung out with my buddies
at around 21-22 i went all out with christianity/ catholicism, read almost the entirety of the Bible, prayed a ton, confessions, eucharist, church camps, seminars, books, i really went crazy with it.
Nowdays I still believe in God, I'm just much more chill about it. I believe we are put on this planet to learn to love. I believe love is the only true language of the universe, and those who miss that point miss the whole point. There are lots of dead end paths that lead to despair and if religion helps you thats fine i guess but my experience was that it made me sort of mentally ill for some period of time. My point is that taking all of those stuff catholics write literally isn't such a good idea cause they write alot of stuff that can make you lose the grasp on reality, and afterall reality is that which, even if you dont believe in it, doesnt go away.

>>24783389
Oh no that's not the problem, I would actually love to work with a bunch of nerds. But the people I keep encountering are all pedantic, lecture you on everything, skim my work without actually reading it, and have strange priorities. Back in uni I joined a workshop that was full of mostly fantasy and/or romance authors. I brought a military thriller which was met with confusion, the workshop leader asked me if there would be any women in the story after finishing the first chapter. That's what he cared about right out of the gate?

>>24783327
Not really what I meant.

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All the porn I consume is just an attempt to the fill the void inside my heart. It's the closest to real human affection I can get, it's why I seek it out.

I was rubbing my gooch a few days ago, and it started bleeding really bad. I had to use several paper towels to soak up all the blood.

>>24783317
You don't have to read every post in this thread, y'know. If it's long, read the first sentence or few and see if you interested.

>>24783516
SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR VILE BODILY FUNCTIONS

>>24783512
Why can’t you get real human affection? Don’t you have any friends? You could try dating.

>>24783528
It's just blood. It's not like I'm talking about the pus that bursts from my pimple onto my finger.

>>24782936
Did you get eye pregnant?

I am starting to think that my views on mind-body dualism stem from depersonalization.

>Philosophy is completely different from “world-view” and is fundamentally distinct from all “science.” Philosophy cannot by itself replace either world-view or science; nor can it ever be ap- preciated by them. Philosophy cannot at all be measured by any- thing else but only by its own now shining, now hidden, essence. If we attempt to calculate whether philosophy has any immedi- ate use and what that use might be, we will find that philosophy accomplishes nothing.

>>24783542
I should've clarified romantic affection. But honestly, even if I meant just affection in general, I wouldn't seek it from my friends. Time has taught me that the term "friend" doesn't mean much. Someone you've known for years can call you their best friend forever and then drop you at the first opportunity when it's convenient. I spend time with friends for entertainment, I don't talk about my feelings with them, I don't open up to them.
>You could try dating.
I guess but considering what my lifestyle is like, online dating would be my only option. And I don't know about that.

All those moments will be forever in the eternal recurring of all...

>>24783553
The rigidness of language and words, for example these that you're reading in order from left to right, one at a time, is what's making most of understanding concepts have to rely on intuition. Like the stems describe one reality, they're separated into blocks for ease of understanding and learning. Once you have the basics of most, you can intuit (understand at the same time) the invisible connections between things. Same is with philosophy. It's one thing among the things humans have invented and do, so quoteable remarks like "philosophy is useless" sound, while only acknowledging, like misinformation. Sure, burn the libraries of the ancient world. What did they know. Let's crush them dinosaur bones into dust and smoke them in our crack pipes.

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>>24779455
I want to be reborn into a nonhuman sapient before attaining enlightenment. Fuck mankind:

https://www.youtube.com/@AvianBuddha

>>24782857
Thanks. Yeah, I think its good cognitively too. I have been dreaming much more and my sleep gets deeper. I'd recommend it.

I'm unsure of why I consume porn like I do. I have human connections and have had sex before, even really freaky sex. I just tend to come back to porn from time to time, even though I hate it and feel as if it has ruined my soul.

>>24783579
>>24783630
Why is online dating your only option?

Today I encountered a rare cute slim negress into literature. I just happen to co-own a small poetry journal, she might be interested in submitting a piece... bros...

>>24783630
nothing wrong with whacking it to some porn every now and then, as long as it doesn't ruin your regular day to day life

>>24783636
It's not?
>>24783676
I suppose that's true but online pornography is pretty evil and blackens the soul. Nothing wrong with wanking to some tasteful erotica or your imagination.

>>24783698
>wanking
Britfag detected.

>>24783698
>pornography is pretty evil and blackens the soul
do you seriously believe that?

>>24783630
What kind of porn are you consuming?

Will it come?

>>24783755
gay porn mostly, sometimes sex with fat women also

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I wish I was a scientist.

>>24783762
You’re gay?

African segmentary lineages, New Guinea Highlands pig feasts, Naga head-hunting, the kula trade, matrilateral cross cousin marriage, Southeast Asian galactic polities, Fijian cannibalism, Plains Indian warfare, Amazonian animism, Inuit kinship relations, Polynesian mana, Ndembu social dramas, the installation of Shilluk kings or Swazi kings, Azande witchcraft, Kwakiutl potlatches, Australian Aboriginal section systems, Aztec human sacrifice, Siberian shamanism, Ojibwa ontology, the League of the Iroquois, the caste system of India, Inner Asian nomadism, the hau of the Maori gift, the religion of the Ifugao, etc.

>>24783712
Yes.
>>24783755
Nothing extreme (although have some particular kinks that stray from normie tastes) but how can you see how the porn industry operates and how it destroys the fabric of society and not think is morally bad?
I didn't even think this was an unpopular opinion. Just look at porn ((producers)) and tell me these people and the content they produce is moral for society.

>>24779455
drink one (1) cup of coffee
immediate mood swings, irritability, internal monologue 10 decibels louder
FUCK

>>24783636
I'm the first anon you replied to. None of my hobbies overlap with female interests; I never go out, as all my friends have moved away; even if I had any female work colleagues to choose from, I still wouldn't because dating coworkers is never a good idea. Thus I view online dating as my only remaining option.

I'm so desperate to have a gf but at my age I have zero enthusiasm for any of my prospects and I know they'd have negative enthusiasm if they saw me.
It all feels so fucking hopeless. I don't understand how my life ended up like this.
I'm just a virgin loser who should drop dead

>>24783842
get realistic standards or die alone

>>24783844
I don't think you understand what I'm saying then

I can't stop thinking about this korean videogame.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4zOjNRPPXM

>>24783335
lots.

>>24783758
Will what come?

>>24782516
>what the fuck is wrong with me then?
Probably your facial appearance; probably something that causes a negative visceral reaction in others.

It's always good to keep in mind that humans are simple, reactive animals where appearance - primarily facial appearance - dictates almost every action they take, every feeling they have, every thought they think.

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>>24782746
>how do you know this isn't the best of all possible worlds?
Judaism and streaming video cultures exist, that negates that possibility.

Last year I was getting better. This year I’ve been on a downward spiral.

I'm self-medicating with cheddar cheese, and it's the sharp kind in block form.

I joined a book club and I'm worried they'll think I'm stupid when I meet them in person.

I wish you still cared.