"Frustration" editionPrevious: >>24766768/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQRESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvCPlease limit excerpts to one post.Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.(And maybe double-space your WIPs to allow edits if you want 'em.)Simple guides on writing:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9shttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFkThread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-F7UsI6C0u4
judge me
>>24782822First thing's first - why are you writing this? Do you really think anyone wants to read the depressing non-doings of what you get up to alone in your flat? Everyone gets out of bed, everyone shits, gets food from the fridge, looks at themselves in the mirror, so spare us the dingy details - WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT THIS MAUDLIN CRAP?Go for a fucking jog and write about that. Anything else, please.
>>24782822>He did not eat last night. When you leave out a single sentence alone between paragraphs like that it's because you want to emphasize it, so it MUST have some meaning behind. Doing it to this specific sentence is extremely retarded.Didn't read anything else because this pissed me off.
Here's the final tally from the previous thread. Not as much seething as I had expected. Hopefully people can continue to be polite and respectful!
And here's the bingo card for this thread. Make us proud!
>>24782822not interesting to me. i'm not sure where the interest is supposed to lie. reading this i do not have the sense of entering into a rich creative work that will surprise and delight and make me think about the possibilities of fiction. instead it just seems to be trying to impress me with the signifiers of a sort of stereotyped contemporary cool. save that for the relatable like-baiting tweets. i say this as someone who unironically worships Tao Lin.
What do you guys think?
>mfw favorite sub-genre is solved>can't ever write about it that other people haven't written before, and betterIt's over.
>>24782822I'll explain it to you in normoid terms but basically you need a hook before you can make people read about your boo boos.MHE does essentially this and no one cares bc the 75% of it is not related and enjoyable
>>24782836i tried to make it so boring it isn't maudlin>>24782870i tried to make a rhythmic beat to move the text along>>24782887i tried to capture contemporary life in all its sucky banality. i am big loser and every dumb detail is true. cool people do interesting things
>>24781769Money is not the only think you can pay me with
Unpopular opinion: if you have fun writing it, people will no have fun reading it.
>>24783425Don't have fun*
>>24782946You posted this already.
>>24782946at minimum you should read mckee on dialog
I sharted on a carpet
>>24782783I contacted a guy on reedsy to edit my novel. He did a sample edit of a page and I really liked his insight and suggestions. It feels weird to hand off a project and take it to "the next phase." A bit surreal, even.
>>24783659>reedsyi will never forget what they did to our girl
>>24783143>>24782887>i tried to capture contemporary life in all its sucky banalityYou know you can do that with writing that isn't sucky and banal, right?
What’s the point no one will ever read this I wish I was dead
>>24783856if i knew how i would be better
should have said: if i knew better i would be better. i have to edit a lot.
>>24783873Maybe think about how you could juxtapose banal action to emotionally charged, borderline psychotic language. I don't personally, and I don't think anyone else does either, want to read detailed descriptions of the act of doom scrolling. If I had to do that to get the part where you describe in detail wanting to tear all of your skin off, that might be worth it.
>>24783608What's wrong with the dialogue?
>>24782884Lol u sound mad sorry we told you your shit writing was shit
>>24782946A Lesson by Robert McKee on 10 traits of faulty dialogueRobert McKee lectures on Screenplay Writing. But this has great implications for writing dialogue in novels and especially short stories as well.RepititiousnessThe more often you repeat words, phrases, beats, qualities of emotion, the less effect they have. In fact, after two usages the third can ruin your work.2) TritenessNever settle for the familiar, obvious choice. Take mundane dialogue and experiment with iterations. Go a little crazy, improvise, you can cut whatever doesn't work.3) Neutral LanguageChange neutral phrases like "Oh my God" to something only that character might say, such as "Good Lawd almighty in heaven above" etc.4) OstentationFlowery language and artistic pretensions don't belong in dialogue.5) Arid SpeechAlways choose familiar words over the exoticConcrete > AbstractDirect Phrases > CircumlocutionShort words > Long wordsSaxon Words > Latin Words (no 'ations' 'uality' polysyllabic words)Heighten content moreso than real life dialogue. (Vividness, imagery, figures of speech, metaphor, simile, tropes in language) Tarantino and Elmore Leonard are good references.6) OverstatementAvoid Puny conflicts (weak motivation) Lift the desires, motivations, and conflicts to match expression. Understatement > Overstatement7) Talking Wall PaperHow's the weather etc. / irrelevant small talk.Does this beat of dialogue progress my scene? Does the scene progress the story? Any dialogue that does not serve the story is wall paper (strip it) wallpaper can be functional if its used to create suspense (in the example of guards talking to each other while protagonist sneaks by etc.)8) Forced ExpositionInformation in dialogue which both characters already know.The solution to peppering exposition into dialogue is to use it as ammunition in an argument or a seduction / manipulation. Readers will be fascinated by the conflict and the exposition while filter through.9) MalformationScenes badly shaped:Turning point occurs after only 1 or 2 beatsBeats are gnarled, zig-zag, and prattle on forever before turning pointFlat scene - beats are just chit chat with no turning pointA scene must be shaped beat by beat, up to a turning point which occurs not too early and not too late"On the Nose" DialogueBold lines that say exactly what the character is thinking (no subtext). 90% of what we think and feel is subconscious. Try to prevent characters from saying exactly what is on their mind. Focus on the underlying aspect of character's desires, and mask that behind metaphor or plot devicesIn your case. Too expostional. >I want to dance already Should be>Dis bixnood nigga needs us to swig and sway like the realest niggas we be repping
>>24783958The fuck is a beat? We're not writing a song here.
>>24783968A beat is what you're going to get if you ask another stupid question that Google could resolve for you faster than posting here.
>>24783971
>>24782946I honestly can't see anything wrong with this dialogue.
>>24783980Holy fuck you can't even use Google properly. Please consider suicide.
>>24783992>it can be literally anythinglmao nice definition
>>24783997It can be literally anything small that moves the story forward. Seriously consider suicide.
>>24782946This reminds me of a Harry Potter fanfic I read in the past.
>>24783968IIRC the legend goes that the term originates from theater. Anglophone theater enthusiasts invited Russian directors to give talks. One of them was asked how they go about adapting a script into the physical reality of the stage or something along those lines. The director responded that they go about it "bit by bit." The Russian accent made it sound like "beat by beat."
>>24783958>simply follow these steps and you'll write something worth readinglol. lmao even
>>24783681Who is this? Boyish girls make my heart melt
>>24784292How boyish? Do you like them with a weiner?
>>24784292for me its this red headhttps://youtu.be/_BBrDhgGz1k?si=Dnm8DxV7sOlKu38k
