Stop Procrastinating EditionPrevious: >>24804211/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQRESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvCPlease limit excerpts to one post.Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.Violent shills, AI jeets, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose should be ignored and reported.
How fast do you guys type? I know it doesn't really matter for writing but I played this and I can only average around 55wpm
>>2481341555 is okay. I usually top out at ike thirty-five.
Wrote this piece; what do you guys think?
>>24813415According to a recent botnet sprint I did, about 20‐30. Maybe as median as 14. If I drink past my drinking tolerance it goes up a few dozen notches.
>>24813415how fast is fast? i know i can type faster than anybody. so probably 100+?
>>24813509This shit is ready to be published, bro. You need to pull the trigger and just do it. There is no more advice here that's going to help you.
trying out a new prose style. also edited quite heavily, trying to resolve issues from last thread. all feedback is welcome.
I kind of don't give a shit what /lit/ says anymore. I'm submitting pieces to journals instead of languishing over some chimerical slop designed to elicit the least amount of criticism on this fucking zoomer board. If your writing is just designed to not get torn apart, I can't see how it's doing anything worth thinking about.
>want to write >wife keeps nagging me for sexFucking hell
anyone else not start writing because they think their grammar might be too shit?
>>24813850No? But if you're having that doubt maybe this isn't the hobby for you no offence. Read more, and maybe write in your native language
>>24813509Would you stop posting my story you piece of shit. Write your own.
>>24813382ZUTTINGthis is the new current memegross but funny kek
>>24813509Hot garbage
>>24813877You had better publish it on kindle before he does. Because in his version Victoria gets blacked and jeeted all at once, maybe even chinked up her third hole. Guess which version is going to sell better, yours or his?
>>24813868English is my native language but I have this doubt.
>>24813509>talk>talk>talkI hate women so much bros.
>>24813889i dont get it
>>24813721The prose is better, actually decent enough. Now it's just a matter of okay, what next? A bunch of morons doing drugs in a bathroom and one of them OD's isn't something that can't be in a story, but it's also not particularly interesting. One suggestion:Why does he mention Pulp Fiction, twice, if there's no acknowledgement or response at all? First, I'd drop the "he thought of that scene" line entirely. The dialogue is plenty for the reference, and actually increases the "dumb guy panicking and saying stupid shit" theme more than if he thinks about it first. Second, have some kind of response to it. "I've never seen it." Or"What the fuck are you talking about, Dave?" Or something. As ir right now, we just have a reference to a movie... and nothing. It just sits there, comparing itself to your scene with no context and no purpose to your scene. Either use it show the narrator is a dumbass or use it to contrast the events. Don't just remind us that Tarantino is really good, because Tarantino being good doesn't do anything for you.
>>24813721please just indent the fucking paragraphs
>>24814001Don't indent digital paragraphs, it looks like ass. That tiny bump in the wall of text doesn't help readability at all, but only makes it worse. Clear spaces between is much better, and both are not to be used at the same time.
>>24814036Don't listen to this reddit spacing idiot. It only works on screens because nobody knew how to indent online so it's been defaulted to a space between paragraphs. But it doesn't read well in a book, it makes it feel like the indication that time passed far too much. And of course, redditors like this anon here can't read indents or regular books anymore because they trained their brain to only read reddit spacing
>>24814036>both are not to be used at the same time.Can't disagree with you there.
>>24814036>>24814045>Don't indent digital paragraphsI am a jeet and cannot read
>>24813908does she redeem herself and get bleached?
Where do you guys start your story from? Or maybe a better question would be, what is the backbone of your story? I've heard different people say it's best to start with the plot, or the theme of the story, or the characters, and I'm curious what the thoughts are here. I'm honestly starting to come around to the idea that the best way to have a story that really leaves a lasting impact on the reader is to start with an idea or theme, and build the rest of the story around it. Have a theme, and all of the characters should at least be tangentially related to it. If your theme is something really profound or interesting, and the cast of characters have a point to existing, the plot should come naturally
>>24814068in medis res
Do you listen to music while you write?
>>24814134Yea
>>24814134I can't listen to music while doing anything focused, can't have people talking either. Absolutely zero tolerance. General background noise like a fan or just brown noise through my headphones to drown everything else out is beneficial. I wouldn't want music to influence my writing in some way that I'm not consciously aware of anyway.
>>24813601I will send my manuscript to foids. We shall see if 4chan usage will fuck us in the ass.
>have LLM write descriptions >focus on the fun stuff Is it really that easy?
>textbooks blowingwhat does this mean?
>>24814045>can't read indents or regular books anymore because they trained their brain to only read reddit spacingyou just solved the illiteracy problem congratulations>indents
do u guys study a lot of professionally written writing? Like, do you break down the scene structures, plot structure, the way paragraphs weave one into another, etc.? How extensively do you note your findings?Just curious
https://egregoreandi.substack.com/p/circles-deepershort story of mine, keen for any and all feedback.>>24814134jazz, ambient, anything instrumental works. but mainly the sounds of the city coming in through my window.>>24814068stop thinking about it so hard. think less, write more. the story'll work itself out if it's worthy of being written.>>24813742I like your attitude towards writing, but the poem doesn't do much for me.>>24813721stylistically decent, but I get the feeling you've watched more films than you have lived life and it shows in the text.
>>24814626No.My hot take is those technical skills should be learned solely entirely through subconscious exposure and not through analytical dissections (presuming you already have the foundational knowledge of it.) I've seen too many people hyper focus on pacing and structure to the point it sterilizes prose that was already excruciatingly flat. The more you read good writers, the more you begin to intuit the rhythm and from there you begin to let the prose guide it rather than force it the other way around. The obvious exception is script writing. I'd even say its imperative to dissect them because the clinical nature is fundamental to their nature. No one enjoys reading scripts, they enjoy the possibility to tell a story with its skeleton of ideas.
>>24814641i've done more drugs than i've watched films than i lived life, but you're onto something. i've literally attempted to account for it as happened, but reality's even dumber than fiction. no, sorry. i just didn't pay much attention, that night, i guess. glad you find the style ok tho
>>24814068only one (1) thing: whatever the fuck helps anchor and motivate you to finish itfor me its usually a specific mental moment that captures both mood and by extension theme
>>24814659I don' see how it would sterilize prose. Maybe if you're writing from a very detailed outline, sure, but if you separate out your study time from your writing time, say, morning and evening, there shouldn't be a problem. I would say close study of your favorite writers would fertilize your unsconscious more than simply reading for enjoyment
>>24814259>foidsthey are the last people who want to read about saints
>>24814695It's more the fact that those who rigorously go through pieces tend to be amateurs and it ends up clogging their background faculties instead of greasing the gears. Even if they separate the time frames, they inevitably want to apply it. Trying to account for beats, ensuring they're keeping on pace, looking back at their outline all while trying to balance shit like passive voice such that nothing comes out natural is poorly stilted. And between the two, I think the average laymen confirms the former is much easier to intuit than the latter - the story slowed in the middle vs the alliteration really accelerated that sentence which made it yadda yadda.I'll go further and say that even with second drafts, more often than not you're needing to decipher what your story is getting wrong less than mirroring what works in someone else's.Of course there's some merit to it. But with the student works I've read and the fact that authors like Sanderson attest to it, I think it's better not approached in that fashion.
>>24814626No. I just read and consume. This is why I recommend reading good literature is so important because it's a subconscious process. It's like the scene in one of the OG TMNT movies where splinter is a rat apeing his master doing kung fu moves. I simply soak and absorb the information that way.
>>24813509i cant tell if this is wng or rr or shitposting or all the above
“Put your hee hee in my hoo ha,’ the woman said. Her tits were huge. The man shredded his jeans with his bare hands. His erect penis throbbed in the air like a baby reaching for his mother’s breast. “Okay, bitch, it’s time for some thunder!”And then they banged.
>>24814792You're going to have to be a lot more descriptive if you want to write "romance".
>>24814750>>24814751what if all i care about is putting out popular genre fiction, and not literature?
>>24814792I'm hard.
>>24814828Still applies.
>>24813382>Stop Procrastinating EditionBut what if I'm using writing to procrastinate on other things?
What's the secret to writing good metaphors?
>>24814068The characters are the backbone I use. I start by placing each character in a scene that lets them play out who they *are* in essence. This gives me a better idea of how they would likely react to different scenarios and to each other and I often figure out their motivations this way. Then once I have a good grasp of all the main cast, I start brainstorming different scenarios to throw them into to see what they would do. I'll often find I accidentally hit the same themes repeatedly simply because a character embodies that theme in a specific way so I end up with a thematic through line by accident.
>>24814856His dick was a large tree trunk, as thick as a gnarly English Oak. The strength of his thrusts were the rough Atlantic seas. Her moans the wails of Grecian sirens.
>>24813721This is really good. I have no notes.
>>24814761you could state why you hate it. the rest of us love this story. its the best story right now. It has blacked, jeeted, chinked, saints, revenge, angry testable woman, correction rape, and something about jesus.
>>24814930>the rest of us love this story>its the best story right now
>>24815080Join us on the right side of history.
>>24813415If I am just getting words on the page? 60 I would guess. I have a 90-100 if just copying shit down. But when having to think, it slows a lot more. Then if writing creatively even more because I am thinking about everything.
>>2481341570 wpm
>>24813945English is not my native language but I have no doubts.
>>24813415the higher the wpm the more you suck at writingt. 120wpm
>>24813415Between 95 and 100 if I'm copying.Slows to an absolute crawl if I'm trying to really nail it.
hows ur guys writing going?
>>24815967The writing is going well. The selling is going not so well.
>>24815967Terribly. I’ve been revising the first book but it’s just turning into rewrites and each chapter is taking me a month for some reason I think I’ve burnt out. I finished writing book 2 earlier this year and that beast was over 100k words.
>>24813509The line Victoria's mother led a worry-free upbringing believing her daughter would have no trouble finding a husband you can change husband to suitor and it would flow better. Tiny change to the prose.
>>24813509The indenting changes after >courtesy rather than sincerity.Why is this?
>>24813382What're the rumors for your characters?
>>24816176Bad crop.jpeg
>>24816187thank you
>>248161791 hes gay2 hes gay3 hes gay4 hes gay5 shes gayguess which one is the lie
>>248161791. he has a poor judgemnt of character2. he's a bad shot3. he's too trusting4. he's always scheming for the moment to seize power for himself5. he has plans within plans for when things go pretty south
Give me your thoughts
>>24816621'its long chain creaking and rattling' -> 'its long chain creaked and rattled, until it fell short of touching the water's surface'. Rework all the present tenses a little more. Maybe it could be better to rework the monologue so he says it outward and make it more lively with him interacting with the others through dialogue. Maybe, just me. I try to rein in monologuing if I can help it if a character isn't alone, myself. I thought this was a nice piece overall.
>my favorite story is also the least popularWhat explains this?
>>24816621excellent. better than the shitty victoria story being shilled.
>>24816664Bro... that's part of the Victoria cinematic universe.
>>24816685meds
>>24813415I can hold about 130 wpm for a few minutes. After that it drops to the 100-120 wpm range. I can write about 35 wpm on my phone though.
I told someone at work I wrote a full novel (it came up) and they didn't even believe me. Feelsgoodman
Everyone fawning over this Victoria slop just excites me for when my book is published. Just you wait until this board's been exposed to my protag for a while. The memes will flow.
>>24816663Taste
>>24814856Just write bad metaphors and then make them good
>>24814626Hell no, doing that shit will set you down the dark path to formulaic writing
If you don't like Victoria, you can't be a good person.
>>24813382>Filled with the sudden urge to write a story off the top of my head and fling it out there, raw and unvarnished, into the wilderness as a short serial Dare I follow this edition's theme?
>>24816995But your protag is Victoria
Wrote an article about Idubbbz, lolcows and dehumanization. Would like any feedback you have. https://open.substack.com/pub/wallacemack/p/idubbbz-lolcows-and-the-death-of?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
>>24816995It is literally the best thing I have read since Corndog Zen
>>24817143I’ve been on the edge about reading Corndog zen. Is it worth it? I’m okay with it being unpolished but I want it to be entertaining
>>24817143Hey that’s me
Who the fuck is Victoria she sounds like a slutty whore
>>24817123I liked it. Thoughtful and touches on some important ideas, and I really liked your conclusion paragraph-takeaway. Maybe modern civilization needs to grind itself into a pulp. I personally think a last ditch effort to save things is in order, but thats not an endeavor for everyone, and is one that needs to be cognitive of the internet nonsense you detail.
If only *MY* Victoria was this well liked... read her slop bros....
>>24817162i must have sold a thousand knock-off copies this summer it's that good
>>24817471what do you mean? knock off copies?
>>24817393We are reading your Victoria story though >>24813509
>>24817604that's not mine...
>>24817353Thanks so much for reading and I appreciate the feedback.
>>24816995nobody likes your victoria slop kys
I've spent more time reading about writing than actually writing. It's at the point where I'm reading scholarly papers on the effect of particular phonemes in poetry and prose.
Could someone fetch me up on the lore of Victoria posting?
>>24813415just practice
I wish men read smutty fantasy, too. I really want to write a shamelessly fanservice-laden story in a pseudo-DnD-esque setting about adventurers fighting dragons and monsters, fucking tons of hot bitches, and getting lots of money in the process, but there's no audience for it, especially in any language that isn't English. Women mog us pretty hard in the self-insert fantasy department.
>>24818153Have you heard of The Witcher?But seriously, there is an audience for it, and is probably bigger than the female one. Problem is, men have much higher standards than women and won't read any slop just to get off. It needs to be good. Ironically, you find some of that in the realm of fanfiction.
>>24814792It made me chuckle, so you did something right. I read the "hee hee" like the michael jackson "hee hee" in my mind and it made it even more hilarious.
>>24816179That only works if in the story all the characters have been around for that long and even care enough to listen to rumors. A paladin in a quest wouldn't care about random gossip, for example.
>>24818153>I really want to write a shamelessly fanservice-laden story in a pseudo-DnD-esque setting about adventurers fighting dragons and monsters, fucking tons of hot bitches, and getting lots of money in the process, but there's no audience for itAre you fucking serious? Your super original idea is like 99% of fantasy genre as a whole and all online story sites. How could you be this clueless?
>>24817123Incredibly superficial and say nothing about anything, especially if you know why Idubbbz and Chris Chan are lolcows in the first place. Maybe this is interesting for someone that has zero knowledge about what you are writing about and besides you personal anecdote, don't say anything that hasn't been told several times already by hundreds of other articles and video essays.In a technical aspect is fine, I suppose.
>>24818231PYW
>>24818239What makes you say it’s superficial? I’ve followed the Idubbbzs downfall pretty closely and I watched most of the Chris Chan documentaries. I didn’t say it in the article because I didn’t really want to add fuel to the fire but I understand why Idubbbz gets jumped on these days and it’s because he stabbed everyone in the back and continues to double down on it. With Chris, it’s pretty clear to me that in the beginning he was 100% a victim and it was his parents fault that they kept making excuses for him and allowed him to continue using the internet in the ways he did. I’m not trying to remove agency from them or condone bad behavior. I’m just saying that the level of ridicule (with the exception of the barb stuff) is disproportionate compared to what they did considering they’re literally just people on a screen. I’m not saying no one has said what I’ve said before but I personally haven’t read it or I wouldn’t have wrote the essay.
I am now going to start a large editing session. I intent to do 4 solid hours of editing. I will take breaks to eat and rake/bag my lawn. I will provide updates. I will provide my favorite page of text. Please wish me well. Music for today is as follows.>Ixion OST>Prometheus OST>Warhammer 40k Mechanicus OST>Youtube AI Slop Scifi Grimdark background music
>>24818451>no anime musicshitlist
>>24818153>>24817118
Then I realized something was wrong.The forest had gone quiet. Total silence. No birds. No insects. Not even the whisper of leaves rustling in the wind. Just a heavy, unnatural stillness pressing against my ears. The kind of silence that feels sentient….watching.I tried to call Artemis again, but my throat locked up. My voice refused to work. My hands were trembling, and I didn’t even notice until that moment.“When did they start doing that?” I thought to myself, staring at my shaking and twitching fingers. Something was out there. And it did not want me here. I wanted to go back but not without the dog.Then there was the smell. It was the worst thing I had ever smelled in my entire life. I remembered once when my dad went into our crawlspace to retrieve a skunk that had somehow managed to sneak inside. He’d gotten himself sprayed all over, and even that didn’t compare to how foul this was.My parents were the no-nonsense type, neither of whom had any real spiritual or superstitious leanings. My dad was a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy who believed hard work paid off, while my mother was the most logically blunt and rational person you could ever meet.Artemis ran back towards me the quickest I had ever seen her. She was terrified. I didn't know what exactly had spooked her, but she was whimpering, shaking, and trembling all over. I picked her up, holding her close to my body. I looked around before deciding that enough was enough and that it was time to go back to where the camp was located.Then I spotted it concealing itself behind the trees, a massive, hulking black mass. At first I thought that it may have been a bear due to how dark and rugged the hair looked, but the more that I inspected, I could see from its features that it was no bear that I was dealing with.How do I do on setting and atmosphere? I'm considering just focusing on the kid and his encounter with the Squatch but I'm also toying around having it shift to different time period in the kids life with all the stories taking place in the woods where he runs into the creature again.
Anyone here have experience sending their stuff to publishers/editors/agents? Im curious to know what file format is usually expected. I've been writing all my stuff in markdown files.
>>24818468I don't watch cartoons
>>24818697No but I plan on getting an agent for my next book
>>24814626nah fuck that, people prefer reading retarded writing anyway.
>>24818550Pretty good. Maybe a bit too disassociated though. The aside about his parents kind of draws the reader away from the immediacy of the scene.
How disorganized can a military be but still be effective what are some good historical references for unusual military structures
>>24818338In the case of idubbbz, the dog piling exists because of the power imbalance between the viewer and the creator. One bad behavior =/= one downvote/negative comment. That, and idubbbz would and has advocated for this exact kind of social treatment for someone he doesn’t like. He’s simply being hoisted by his own petard. I see no way in which he doesn’t deserve this. Chris Chan didn’t deserve what he got. They’re apples and oranges.
>>24818931I see what you’re saying but I wasn’t really trying to carry water for Ian. Some of what happened to him is just perhaps but I used him more as an example of the kind of dehumanization that creates a lolcow. The people he conned and flipped on have a right to be angry but random viewers that just watched him on YouTube who started a-logging him? It seems disproportionate considering he is literally just some dude on YT. Perhaps he wasn’t the best example but I don’t think it undoes the essay personally. Thanks for the feedback.
>>24818977>It seems disproportionate considering he is literally just some dude on YT.He would do the same to you if he saw you as an ideological enemy. >Perhaps he wasn’t the best example but I don’t think it undoes the essay personally.For me, as your audience, I felt it did. It probably sounds like I have an axe to grind with idubbbz, but I really don’t. I just don’t feel pity when a guy who runs over 10 people with a car is himself ran over by a car, if you’ll excuse the clunky metaphor.
>>24818997Fair enough. Thanks for taking the time to read it. Something to chew on for sure
>>24818997>writing general>can't even come out with a good metaphorAnon...
>>24819019What would be a better metaphor for what I’m trying to convey?
>>24818890Tough question to answer. The main reason any given army is more successful than any other usually comes down to superior organization, so it's hard to know what the line for "still effective" is. It also heavily depends on which era we're talking about.
>>24816621I love this one. It's easily some of the best I've seen in a /wg/ in a long while. >>24818882I really should;ve organised better maybe have the line about the parents not believing what he saw be the last thing because he hasn't processed whether what he is seeing is natural or supernatural yet.
>>24818550Maybe focus on showing instead of telling, cutting out fluff. Something more like this:The forest had gone quiet.No birds. No insects. Not even the whisper of leaves rustling in the wind. I tried to call Artemis again, but my throat locked up. My hands were trembling.“When did they start doing that?” I thought to myself, staring at my shaking and twitching fingers. Something was out there. And it did not want me here. I wanted to go back but not without the dog.Then there was the smell, foul like the stench of a dead skunk.Artemis ran back towards me the quickest I had ever seen her. She was whimpering, shaking, and trembling all over. I picked her up, holding her close to my body. I looked around decided that it was time to go back to the camp.Then I spotted it concealing itself behind the trees, a massive, hulking black mass. At first I thought that it may have been a bear due to how dark and rugged the hair looked, but the more that I inspected, I could see from its features that it was no bear that I was dealing with.
Third version now. Heavily pruned. Interested in all thoughts and opinions.
>>24819160I feel like it's getting worse
>>24816621This is so good. It's comparable to actually traditionally published books. All the voices are unique, the setting is vivid and descriptive enough, you have good mastery of words that is complex, yet simple to access, Seriously one of the best excerpts posted here.
>>24819160>me and Bill and Max stroll>me and Bill stroll>me strollEasy way to know when to use I and when to use me.
>>24818734>warhammer>prometheus>don’t know what the other one is but it’s probably also gayNigga, you watch cartoons.
>>24817123I actually think that people shitting on people like idubbbz, hasan piker, etc. is actually the birth of a new nuance. I’m not particularly optimistic, but at least people are turning against purveyors of the dominant narrative a little bit.
>>24819386Why little man assume Grug not say me on purpose?
>>24818890If a disorganized military is successful it is usually because the opposing military forces are even more disorganized. See: the first crusade. In the first place, the crusade's leadership was sort of vague because it was led by a committee of noblemen (most of them French) and the more influential of these men could simply do whatever they wanted if it came down to that. The crusaders frequently divided into smaller armies and pursued various other objectives as they arose. The first crusade was not a precise, deliberate march on Jerusalem but more of a wandering romp through the Levant that saw many other cities and castles besieged and taken, sometimes with Byzantine troops helping, sometimes in separate armies, or sometimes all together.The main reason this worked out despite the lack of focus and clear leadership is because the Muslims were even worse organized and made no attempt to help one another. They were, in fact, more preoccupied with backstabbing one another than fighting the Christians, and the people in charge simply had no idea how to lead an army a lot of the time. The main result of this was that Muslim leadership didn't coordinate their defenses and frequently launched suicidal attacks against crusader armies as soon as they appeared in their lands, or as soon as they settled in for a siege, usually while hopelessly outnumbered. Lack of coordination, lack of clear leadership, and lack of proper planning are usually fatal flaws for any military endeavor, so the only way an army rife with these traits could be very successful is if their opponents are even worse.
>>24817169I don't believe you. Wallace Mack would never post here.
>>24819579He could be here right now
>>24819764>>24819579Wait, Wallace Mack is the author of Victoria? He improved a lot.
Looking for feedback on my first real attempt at writing. This the opening of the first chapter. Any thoughts on the content and style? Did I lay out the hook well? Would you read more?
>>24819807I read the first paragraph. You're on the right track, keep at it
>>24819807>"So the water still runs, that'll be useful" he muttereddo people actually mutter things like this
>>24819764And I'm Stephen King.
>>24813382>Stop ProcrastinatingHow?
I should stop writing fanfiction and try something of my own.
>>24819774No they’re different
>>24819913I've never tried writing fanfiction. How do you do it? It just feels hard when you don't know everything about a given universe and your autism doesn't let you get shit wrong.
>>24819956nta, but if you're one of those autists, you just gotta learn everything about the universe. Helps if it's for something that doesn't have an absurd amount of """lore""" like Slop Wars.
>>24819956It's not as hard as you think if you're a fan. Some of the rules might be a bit restrictive but the readers are really forgiving if you don't break some hard canon. Plus you can build on what's there too, add you own touch. People enjoy that too.
>>24819906Why are you such an unrepentant pedo? Cocaine is not an excuse.
>>24819831Thanks fren, will do. Can I ask why you stopped at the first paragraph?>>24819832Probably not. I've considered changing this line before but couldn't think of anything better at the time. I could take another stab at it.
Rhythm, just remembered this word existed. Any anons have any writings that have rhythm in it?
>>24820113All of poetry?
>>24819956Most fanfic is just about having characters fuck each other, anyway.
>>24820113me :)
>>24819949I'm honestly disappointed
>>24820113yes the Victoria story has the word Rhythm.
>>24820113nope lol
>>24819956It's more important to write something people will enjoy reading than to get the facts right.
What do you guys think of this?
>>24820333Just delete everything before "He leaned..." and you're good to go. Be careful about making everyhing "He did this, he did that" though. "he turned to face... he looked to... he looked to..." Search/highlight all your occurrences of "he" and you will see how ugly your text looks.
>>24820169>Victoriai want to fuck this bitch so bad already
>>24820355>>24820169You faggots are ruining the threads kill yourselves.
>>24820442>faggots>implying is not just a single schizo spamming
>>24820351Not him, but pronoun repetition is nice. Not to say every sentence should just be, "he [verb]ed," but I'd rather see "he" used a lot than "[name]" or "the man" or something of that sort.
>>24819027idubbz is like a spoiled banana cake used for his enemies, now re-used for an even worse banana bread - against himself
>>24820094This makes no sense without context.
>>24820442>Posts writing >Encourages discussion of syntax and form>Showcases proper dialogue tags>Isn't fantasy slop with video game screens and logic>Litfic with both personal and religious themes>This story is ruining the threadI don't understand.
>>24820562THe issue is that he's filtering through the character. In order to describe the pool, "he looked to the pool" To describe the bar, "he looked to the bar" etc. This is writing 101 kind of stuff.
>>24821121have you taken anybody's advice even?
Is there any popular modern writing advice that you personally despise and disagree with?For me it’s “make your character relatable” and “don’t use fancy prose”. IMO, it feels like short-hand for “dumb the story down and make it a popcorn flick for people who are barely literate”.
>>24820351>>24821242This is fair advice. I hadn’t even realized how much I was doing it. I’ll take it to heart.
>>24816104>>24821247Of course. I took this guy's advice. It's a good change.
>>24821121(You) are ruining the thread wanking about it, fuck off.
Have you ever thought about what more generally is the most effective way to get your writing in front of people?>books>nobody’s reading that shit, maybe 1-500 people under absolute ideal conditions>audiobooks>better odds, maybe 1-5K people if you find a good narrator and advertise it well>TV/movies>basically impossible to break into even if you dedicate your whole life to it; AI isn’t good enough to replace production teams yet; widest reach (millions) but not possible>youtube/socials>content mill hell; AI is good enough for the quality required for visuals, but good writing won’t do as well unless it’s comedy; similar reach to TV/movies though>games>in-between social media and movies in terms of solo difficulty, not impossible with preexisting computer skills; reach 10-100k >manga/webnovels>don’t know enough to speculate
>>24821380Treating "show don't tell" as an axiomatic truth instead of advice for beginners who don't know how to describe a scene in detail is probably my biggest bugbear. I see "show don't tell" repeated like a catechism by people who should have long ago outgrown that advice. If you've been writing for years and still need the reminder to show not tell, it's maybe time to consider a different hobby or aspiration.
>>24821846Show don't tell is usually bad advice anyway because it's just ported over from screenplay writing without actually considering the differences between a medium with moving pictures and one with only words on a page. Technically, all writing is 'telling.' The advice just becomes "tell well" which is as useless for advice as "git gud" is.
>substance use>short, choppy sentences>hardboiled slang>swearing
>>24816621Font used?
>>24821944>technically all writing is tellingNot really. There’s a sharp line between “his eye twitched and his fists were clenched” vs. “he was angry,” or “he splashed water on his face and took two pills out of the bottle. He looked at himself blankly in the mirror for a while and then swallowed the pills and left” vs. “he was depressed.”It’s not a matter of good or bad telling. It’s two completely different methods. Either your writing contains concrete images and sensations or it doesn’t.
>>24822039I think some authors go too far into the "show" part of show-don't-tell. People *do* want to be told how to feel about a situation. They will never tell you that, but they constantly consume news media that does exactly that.
>>24821738Nah. We haven't gotten to her getting blacked or jeeted yet.
>>24821944all advice boils down to "git gud"advice exists to try to bridge the gap between amateurism and the well-developed intuition of a professionalof course, following advice is not how well-developed intuitions are formed in the first place
>>24821380"Just get to the point!" is the one that annoys me the most. It belies a relationship with art that I find ugly.
>>24822039Show vs tell is about how directly you're communicating to the reader what you want them to know.>Bob was depressed.is telling (bad always)>Bob felt his ass grow numb in his bus seat but couldn't be bothered to stand.is showing, but>Bob was angry, and then he felt nothing, and he wasn't really angry to begin with.is also showing.This is really what they mean by show vs tell.
>>24822311>Bob was depressed.>is telling (bad always)I would disagree.>Big long winded paragraph about how he caught his wife cheating on him with a smelly Jeet >Bob was depressed.>Big long winded paragraph about his internal struggles. It acts as a very clear short transition between him catching his wife and his inner turmoil. But at the same time, quickens the pace so we can get his depression out of the way. We as readers don't need his sighs, his tears, his "I can't believe she cheated on me whining, he was depressed and we move onto how he'll get revenge
>>24821380You don't understand the market or your audience. That's okay, most writers don't, if they were businessmen they'd probably be doing that instead. The successful ones do and are, though. If you want to be one of those, you're just not writing flowery language and page long descriptions of the temperature of the air in autumn. This isn't the 19th century, your audience aren't wealthy, aristocratic sophisticates (or people who think they are, anyway) with copious time driven by a need to feel superior to everyone else. Your audience are barely literate, 100 IQ, working class redditors and soccer mom's conditioned to television and movies as primary media for storytelling, and who want to relax and escape on their commute or at the end of their day. That's who matters, and if you're not writing for them, you can't expect to matter. >But muh artIf you're really le artiste, then you can make something beautiful with the tools given to you for the people that are paying attention and their hard earned dollars for your work. It doesn't matter how great you are if nobody ever reads your book, you're still a fucking loser. >but muh I don't care what people think, I don't want to sell books, I want to sufferOkay, then don't whine about their advice and criticisms, it's not for you anyway. Enjoy your top ramen for the fourth time this week you fucking loser.
>>24822336the basic fundamental amateurish mistake is leaving in sentences that read like the author reminding themselves what the story is about. That's always a mistake.
The best writing is clear and concise, with strong, but brief, descriptions. You can be a good writer and have more flowery prose, but you are using an inferior style.
>>24822375Sad. Read more books. Styles come and go. Beautiful sentences are worth celebrating in all their forms.
>>24822393I almost always prefer the sleek lines of modern styles.
opinions on this opening (rough draft)I watched the shadow crawl across the sand. The black shade tethered to the Pillar of Creation always circling. That stretch of night, a constant reminder that darkness is bound to all things. The shadow was weak right now, barely a line, but by the end of the day it would consume everything.My focus on the central totem was disturbed as an elderly man in painted skins and bones moved to the front of the crowd. Leaning against his staff, he looked to the top of the Pillar of Creation, where the Orb of Life burned fierce in the heavens. He held his hand up to allow the night to cover his face.To others darkness was not all bad, sometimes the light was too magnificent. The old man was using the shadow to his advantage now. The other grown ones had already been doing it before he arrived. Their eyes could not take itI did not use the shadows, the light was never too magnificent for me. The darkness scared me, and I could not be free of it. But, I would be free… soon enough. I was chosen. Only little ones could be chosen.The elder looked down at the grey sands by the pillar. It was the only area where the grass did not grow. He looked at me and beckoned. Surrounded by the grown ones, their shadows covered me.I was bound to the Pillar of Creation and I knew that I was being freed. I was having my shadow severed. The grown ones rubbed my skin with fine oils that smelled like flowers. Their faces were hard and downcast. Why? I was being freed from the darkness.The old man began to speak and the grown ones backed away. He struck his hand together and light rained down on me. I was drowned in light.
>>24822415It's pretty rough. I'm having trouble even following what's going on. It seems cool, but I don't know what it is.
>>24822503It’s a primitive ritual child sacrifice from the point of view of the child. It’s a sort of reincarnation story but not like an Isekai web novel.
>>24822365There’s such a thing as a balance. You can do lush prose without sacrificing market appeal. You also seem to forget that alot of classic literature was originally written for plebs. Dickens was literally serialised and popular with the working class. Only some were written for the aristocracy.Asking everyone to write like Hemingway is the death of art. People should develop their own styles.
>>24822414like I said: read more books
>>24822415Amateurish, in the way that you just need to write and read more.>I watched the shadow crawl across the sand. "I watched" is weak google "filtering phrases">The black shade tethered to the Pillar of Creation always circling.sentence fragment>That stretch of night, a constant reminder that darkness is bound to all things.another sentence fragmentI don't think these are artistic sentence fragments. I think you are omitting the word "was" because you have (correctly) identified that it's repetitive. The real solution is to add actual variation and focus the sentence around the central thing being conveyed.Sincerely, I recommend spending a week or two going through a grammar book. If you want to write like this, you need to really understand the parts of speech and the different ways you can arrange them.
>>24822648Any good recommendations for grammar books. I want to convey it as thought. Not all thoughts are complete sentences. Probably need to format it differently or rewrite like you say
>>24822520>the point of view of the child.it does not sound like the voice of a child at all
>>24822589>Asking everyone to write like Hemingway is the death of artI wouldn't dream of it, I know you can't write subtext.
>>24822703He is special
I wrote the opening to a story I am working on. What's the proper procedure for sharing it? Pastebin says I'm now allowed to past my bit. It's only about 500 words
>>24822729screenshot it
it's almost november, when i can try extra hard to still not write
>>24822415i'd start post-reincarnation, or something.
chapter premises i got down today:>group of friends at cafe discuss the beastiality epidemic>asking various people what it means to be an adult>receiving messages from acquaintance of their ai written stories from single paragraph prompts>hobby into hustle culture>earnest relationship with traumatized college whore>gay man has sudden reoccuring vivid dreams of having intimate sex with women>improvement theory and measuring/quantifying successlooking forward to fleshing these out in the future
Do you prefer to write your stories with a pre-planned structure or do you simply write from an autistic idea without a set direction?
>>24822659Trying to navigate writing scattered and fragmented thoughts while also keeping things sensible for the reader is very tough sometimes. I disagree with the other anon, though. I don't think grammar is the root issue here. It might be part of the issue but "read a grammar book" won't solve the problem. There's just too much 'jargon' for a casual reader. If you think about it, almost every important noun you used was something the child is familiar with, but the reader isn't. By the time we hit the middle of the section, we're just totally lost and it's hard to care what's happening because we have no possible way of knowing. I reread it more carefully and now I can see, oh yeah, it is obviously a sacrifice, but I completely missed that the first time through because by the time we hit that point, I was already kind of checked out. And it's only a few sentences. I shouldn't be filtered this quickly. A reader has a limited amount of patience for deciphering things, especially early in a story, before they get really invested. I'm still not even sure what the various "shadows" are, because sometimes it seems like just shadows but other times it seems it means something else. But these shadows are such a big part of the scene that I kind of feel like I need to understand them. The scene is good. The imagery is good. The idea of having the child describing things with a child's eyes is good. But you have to somehow try to keep the mysterious feeling while also allowing the reader to "get it." I'm not sure how to do that, but I think you're close. A little more work and it's good.
>>24822753Why not just use a non-cucked pastebin clone like cryptpad?Here is my second story ever I am working on. Judge me.
>>24823080honestly nigga this shit stink of ai and even if it aint it's soulless and vain and you should just keep writing. posting ur second story ever aint worth jack shit. post your 100th story. post your 500th story. admitting to it being your second story ain't what u think it is homie. do U feel compelled by this? could you read it 10 times in a row? something aint right about this.
>>24823112What language is this?
>>24823046i rely on structure, formula and tropes. and i show (not tell)
non-cucked pastebin clone cryptpad linkhttps://cryptpad.fr/pad/#/2/pad/view/Vp+DuRIjZCYRO1rUWz-h-ml+D0JcwUICd3RUUU+IGSU/
>>24823080Very well written. I hate it though. She should just push him off the roof and the world would be a better place. I wouldn't read it, unless I thought this ended up in revenge of some kind. Unless the guy is the MC. Then I'd consider reading.
>>24823128Zoomie-negro speak
>>24823046>do you simply write from an autistic idea without a set direction?I start with this until I get a feel for the characters and world and then I go back and make plans editing what has already been written as needed.
>>24822520Not him but the only thing I misunderstood was the sacrifice part. I read it as a coming of age ceremony of some kind. Like I thought all the adults went through this and they had stern faces cause they new it was painful or something. You might want to do something to emphasize that this ritual is not performed often to better clue in the reader. Otherwise, I liked it. I don't get the other guy's autism about the sentence fragments. It's just a stylistic choice.
>>24823071Thanks for the feed backOrb of Life is the Sun The pillar of creation is a dense totem being used as a sundial and burning stake I true to use context clues to help but I guess it was not the best>>24823454Thanks I’ll have take a step back and try to examine it as someone with zero context
>>24823454I will say I was not necessarily trying to avoid confusion. I wanted to subvert the expectations and mislead the audience a bit
>>24813382https://iannewman.blogspot.com/2025/10/meet-ethan.htmlMostly an inside joke between a few friends of mine that I've been writing on lunch break, but looking to get opinions positive or negative. Working on the second part now
>>24822415You could turn this into a poem and then edit it to be more concise. It would be a good exercise.
>>24823080I greatly dislike this. It reminds me that women gravitate towards high functioning psychopaths. Make the man into a hot chick and it'll instantly be better.
>>24823080Part of the right is cut off, but there's still a margin. How did this happen?
>>24818089>serbia
I made this question a few days ago but forgot to check the replies: do you receive any feedback on your query rejections?I got over 40 rejections and what the agents usually say is "this isn't right for me", and rarely "this sounds interesting, but I'll pass".Feedback from an agent (not just a beta reader) would be invaluable to me, but I'm afraid I'd sound amateurish to ask for it in my query letter (as if already expecting a rejection).
>>24823535>the Orb of Life is the sunThen just call it the sun nigga, ffs
>>24814626As an artist (painter) I’m surprised at your replies. To be a good artist that stuff is essential.
>>24822659this is a good one
>>24824496Agents aren't editors, they don't give feedback. They read your cover, maybe a handful of pages and tell you to fuck off.
