honestly though the fat bastard is based
I wouldn't finish the books either

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>>24888978
>It’s a thread about nothing! No new books in fifteen years. No new lore, no new histories, no new prophecies. Nothing! The maesters keep saying, ‘Any day now, the next volume will arrive.’ Any day? Any day has been half a lifetime! And the fans… the fans are out there inventing theories, arguing about ravens and bloodlines, trying to divine meaning from blog scraps. Scraps! Because there is nothing. That’s the whole point! It’s a story where everything matters except the one thing everyone wants—an ending.

Any Euron = Daario and Bolt-On truthers still left? I feel like I'm the last one who believes these theories

>>24889015
Euron was originally intended to be with Danny iirc, but he created the Euron character when he changed his mind.

>>24889021
extremely confusing claim

>>24888995
George Retard Retard Martin will never concieve of let alone write a masterpiece.

>>24888988
Sam surely knew…oh wait

>>24889080
Fuck ment Dario lol, Euron was supposed to be located in slavers bay originally.

>>24888978
This shit ain't ever coming out, huh anons?

Euron it sounds like urine

>>24889141
Coincidentally that is George Retard Retard Martin's second favorite beverage. Expect to see Chairee Pepsee soon.

>>24889171
When will we get a Nuyoeark Jyants PoV?

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>>24889015

Euron = Daario = Ser Pounce

>>24889216
>Nuyoeark Jyants

One of them just got shot with a Valyrian steel Hi-Point.

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>>24889225
RHAEGAR WHO????????

>>24889134
Us real songheads have already accepted this long ago. Any way you slice the math, if he had been writing, it would've come out already. But he hasn't, so it ain't, so it won't.

>>24889225
THEY SMELL DORNISH

>>24889225
Damn he likes incest almost as much as drinking piss

>>24889241
the northern stark features comes from Lyanna not Ned

Show ending is THE ending and I love that

>>24889377
>Show ending is THE ending and I love that
Honestly with just a few alterations it wouldn't be too terrible. Honestly, I think they switched the conflicts because they knew the long night would be lame and GRRM probably didn't have a satisfactory conclusion either.

It's crazy to think if they just switched the Dany/Cersei conflict first so Dany blows up KL suddenly everyone's apprehensiveness to work/trust and scheming against her makes much more sense. Honestly think I could write a satisfying conclusion if it was for the show, books is another can of worms imo

>>24889341
N+L=J

>>24889225
Why the Velaryon are blacks?

Gregor + his unnamed sisters = Robert Strong

>>24888995
What about a flop that never leaves your head?

>>24889083
>George Retard Retard Martin
How dare you mock his middle initials. Sharing those with Tolkien is the only thing he's got going for him. Do you even marketing?

>>24889716
You're really shitting on Gohn Ronald Reuel Molkien with your revisionism.

Okay but seriously.

Since Asoiaf is clearly reminiscent of Lovecraft+Howard, what ‘outer god’ or other eldritch force is responsible for the fucked up seasons, or just the ‘magic’ in general?

>>24889015
Bolt-On chad here.

>>24889688
I'm really curious how the show will handle Aegon, Visenya, and Rhaenys' Velaryon mother

Ser Oswell Whent (Cat’s relative) is Qhorin Halfhand, the fookin’ legends. Can’t change my mind.

Ser Pounce POV chapter when?

>>24889834
The frame of the story is fire and ice, life and death, with the lifegiver being capricious. I’d say Azatoth fits the death archetype, chaos and consumption. Nyarlathotep might be his messengers in the white walkers, if there’s actually a “night king” equivalent in the books. Alternatively the “dark one” mentioned as its avatar.
The life giver/fire god is harder to place. Yog-Sothoth probably. He can bring people back from the dead. There aren’t really two opposing forces among the outer gods as the ASOIAF scenario suggests.

>>24890000
>It's a "Tommen is warging cats" chapter

>>24890000
If you can have a skin changed wolf interlude why not a Ser Pounce chapter? He’d leave it ambiguous who’s using the cat to spy.

>>24890011
Hear me out

Ser Pounce is the PoV for the Winds Epilogue and it's Tommen's in a cat dream, then discovers that he was assassinated in his sleep by finding his body.

>>24890030
I don't want Tommen to die, he's just a boy...

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>>24889917
>Dawn and Qhorin Halfhand arrived together. - A Clash of Kings - Jon VI

>>24890035
Cersei's whole plot is about her kids dying before her and it being entirely her fault because she believed a bs prophecy that she fulfills herself

>>24890030
Really cool idea. Tommen is probably going to die no matter what happens and this would help give it the proper weight.
Also reminds me of an asoiaf sequel idea I have rotting in google docs where an exiled Tommen becomes the pirate king of Tyrosh who swears eternal revenge on Westeros, but that was mostly because I thought it was funny.

>>24890030
Kino

>>24890041
Can't Tommen die metaphorically or some shit? He seems like a nice kid. Joffery had it coming, but Tommy should just be sent to a monastary or something when Stannis takes his throne

>>24890069
The only reason GURM would fakeout the death is to insert ambiguity about prophecies. Cersei would need to believe he’s dead. Who “has it coming” doesn’t really matter, or thematically at least should not, as he expends so much energy hammering it home.
In some ways the resurrection of Jon and ultimate showdown with Dany is a betrayal of this since it follows the very Chosen One paradigm he tried to avoid. Maybe it’s inevitable to stack the ending with feelgood bullshit.

Walk with me, my sweet summer child, and hear the tale of fat pink masts jutting into sopping wet myrish swamps and black nipples brushing against silk until her cunt became the world while in the privy the princess guzzled arbor gold and shat but the more she drank the more she shat until she was shitting brown water and around her the planks of the ship groaned like a fat man taking a shit while she cursed the gods and nuncle smiled as he broke his fast on black bread, bacon burned black, and mulled wine while capon-grease dribbled down his chin and onto the boiled leather of his jerkin for she was wet with love and did she not know words are wind and dark wings bring dark words and a lannister always pays her debts and mayhaps this is nothing but a mummers farce and useless as nipples on a breastplate and the princess has been fucking lancel and moonboy for all nuncle knows and he is the blood of the dragon for the night is dark and full of terrors but where do whores go and jon snow knows nothing and near enough makes no matter so nuncle smiled and dipped the heel of his bread into clam chowder and prayed for half a hundred more heh har HODOR

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>>24889907
>I'm really curious how the show will handle Aegon, Visenya, and Rhaenys' Velaryon mother

They'll just completely disregard it.

>>24890288
There it is.

i wonder how many have died waiting for the winds of winter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa5nlV2Zj2U

asoiaf chuddies never recovered from this

>>24890613
this analysis is trash.
>ooh he likes to subvert
>oooh theres no joy
>look at me psychoanalyze!
>ooh muh value systems!
boring video.

>>24890613
lemme guess it's another "Ned dies for his honor while Tywin wins via treachery so the story is nihilistic because I'm ignoring the existence of Dance and Feast where every honorable thing Ned ever did pays off for his children while every bad thing Tywin has done is being reaped by his" analysis

GRRM is frantically writing a "Dany Ascendant, Targaryen empire reborn" ending. That is the cause of the delays.

>>24890739
He knows that’s what the drooling brown masses want, and they’ll crucify him if he goes with his original ending of dany failing miserably so instead of compromising on his vision for the sake of the stinking peasants he’s just gonna not finish it and let the show ending be the only ending, that way the blame isn’t on him

>>24890841
The Targ empire is the high IQ white man's ending, fool.

>>24889917
Also kino

>>24888978
I HAD A DREAM /grrm/ I was reading winds it was a Cersei chapter, Tommen is confirmed kill.

>>24889131
I thought you were joking around lol. The mystery's so good people are falling for it out of universe

>>24890844
The dragon cunt is barren anyway, any dynasty she begins ends with her.

>>24890898
Martin will subvert the subversion of medieval Europe and have Dany take a page from the Japs and adopt.

>>24890069
Stannis is not merciful

>>24888978
Do mountain clans of the Vale make any sense?
A bunch of bronze age tribesmen just running around raiding shit and hiding in the mountains.
Wouldn't the Knights of the Vale have exterminated them centuries ago?

>>24890335
Millions, mayhaps even billions

>>24889225
Maybe should have differentiated between Stony and Sandy dornish... good chart otherwise. Why do recent Targs still have typical Valyrian features when their Valyrian ancenstries % is in the single digits?

>>24890928
>Do mountain clans of the Vale make any sense?
No.
>Wouldn't the Knights of the Vale have exterminated them centuries ago?
Yes.

These two groups that have a visceral hatred of each other coexist in a relatively small territory, one being much stronger than the other... this means they'll somehow both exist indefinitely.

>>24890928
>>24890954
>why didn't the marcher lords exterminate the welsh
>why didn't the lowland scottish exterminate the highland scottish
the tech gap is exaggerated because it's a fantasy novel, and even then the mountain clans aren't in the literal bronze age. they are more like a century or two behind the rest of westeros in terms of smithing. the vale is huge, much larger than the entirety of scotland, though grrm is known to be wonky with and not really pay much attention to scale. even if it was smaller, the geographic angle doesn't hold much water either. plenty of societies in antiquity existed right next to hostile raiding groups for long periods of time.

>>24890964
Those had the benefit of being real people, not glorified bandits who live off of subsistence raiding, while also having retarded cultural practices that make them ungovernable, and who also have to exist in a world where winters can last for several years.

>>24890985
your quibble is that martin didn't spend half a book explaining mountain clan culture and society in excruciating detail? assuming they have some other methods of survival to supplement raiding (pastoralist or part-time agriculture enough to get through winters) is too great a leap? i dunno man.

>>24890030
This is actually too good for Gurm to come up with it.

>>24890995
As if he could.

>assuming they have some other methods of survival to supplement raiding (pastoralist or part-time agriculture enough to get through winters) is too great a leap
They'd have to be capable of stockpiling vast amounts of food, what you're describing wouldn't remotely suffice. It seems dubious that much more organized societies would be capable of outlasting the winters GRRM in Westeros, nevermind the fucking mountain clans. Realistically, they'd have died off or submitted to the Vale lords and become their subjects.

>>24890964
>>why didn't the marcher lords exterminate the welsh
because welsh actually held land whiles martin's mountains clan appareantly live in mountain caves

>>24890005
>The frame of the story is fire and ice, life and death, with the lifegiver being capricious
Two sides of the same coin.

— “Ice preserves, fire consumes.”

The cold is associated with the cold chill of death, and warmth is associated with the warmth of life. The cold undead still move, meaning there’s still energy (fire) in their undead bones.

Too much, or too little, of either is bad.

George in the past compared ice to cruel vengeance, but what is wrath associated with? Fire. Although I do get it. Coldness is associated with cruelty.

>>24890069
Robb should’ve take Myrcella as his newly wed queens.

>>24890928
Speaking of ASOIAF and bronze age societies, I don't think GRRM understands how bronze works.
To make bronze you need copper and tin, which are only VERY rarely found in geographic proximity to each other. You can also use arsenic, which is a bit easier to find around copper deposits, but even ancient people figured out that arsenic = death. In order for the bronze age to truly take off you need to develop extensive trade networks so that the people with tin deposits can sell their tin to people with copper deposits and vice-versa.
So the Thenns for example don't make much sense at all. They live in one little valley, which somehow happens to have enough tin and copper both to fuel a bronze-age civilization for seemingly thousands of years.

>>24891016
*Nature* most likely wouldn't be capable of surviving the ebin winters in Westeros. How the fuck is a deer going to survive 8-10 years of nothing but snow? That's like a whole generation of deer, how the fuck is a deer going to survive being born at the beginning of winter and then living its entire fucking life with nothing to eat? Where's its growth going to be coming from?

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You will never get the books.

>>24891016
it's a fantasy novel, not historical fiction. magic doesn't make sense. the scale of the castles don't make sense. the seasons don't make sense. the centralization and scale of westeros and the mono-language doesn't make sense, people would speak a bunch of different languages like in essos even with raven mail. the nobles having their fiefs in nice little organized (compared to real life) pieces doesn't make sense. if you can suspend your disbelief for any of these then it's not exactly a big deal to accept that the mountain clans have *some* way of stockpiling or obtaining enough food to survive winters.

>>24891024
>we never see a wildling village or clan lands, so they don't exist even though the books describe some areas of the vale as clan land

>>24891144
the wildlings are explicitly shown to trade with the south and with people across the narrow sea. hardhome is literally a trading port.

grrm is clearly not that interested in super precise worldbuilding in all aspects of his world, but most of these examples are minor and don't really detract from the work.

>>24891210
meant to type mountain clan village, not wildling.

>>24890964
>a century or two behind
How has smithing developed in Westeros during the last 200 years? Be specific.

>>24891071
>OMG ICE AND FIRE THEY SAID THE THING

>>24891310
>When you play A GAME OF THRONES, you win or you die.
>So it begins, at last... A CLASH OF KINGS...
>Mayhaps we shall weather A STORM OF SWORDS after all.
>The kingdom has become naught more than A FEAST FOR CROWS...
>I think I would like to have A DANCE WITH DRAGONS.

>>24889083
The R's stand for Rape not Retard

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>>24891393
oh my science i just hecken love GRRM

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>>24890739
>GRRM is frantically writing

Anonymous pretends to hate George but keeps coming back to his general.

>>24891303
a century or two behind smithing compared to the real world. westeros proper has heavy plate and so on, so it's around 14th/15th century or so, if not later with some of the super ornate armor described. the mountain clans are kitted out in leather armor, skins, and where the books do show native metalworking that hasn't been stolen on raids, it is crude compared to westerosi knights. the parallel i was making was how light infantry or tribal raiders might be outfitted in the 11th or 12th century in places where there was no strong metalworking culture.

>>24891416
I see it and can't just scroll past. It's not out of love it's more like why THE FUCK is there a general for this slop when no other writer or series much less a good writer or series has that?

>>24891179
This fat piece of shit really knows how to play the stupid media retards, "development" can be just you having mentioned in an email that you would like to do something one day.

>>24891419
But Westeros is in Medieval stasis with no technological advancements. Two centuries is nothing when dynasties last for thousands of years in the same castle, even. Technology is completelt absurd in Westeros.

>>24891416
GRRM is so goddamn fat even his picture has a gravitational pull
LET ME OUT OF HERE

>>24891422
>why THE FUCK is there a general for this slop
10% anons who love Gurm
10% anons who love the show and ask questions
10% anons who are obsessed and post their theories
1% pink masts poster
19% anons who post low quality bait
27% anons who post bait without having read the books
33% anons who post high quality but boring bait
40% anons who love to argue
60% non-fans who like to predict Gurm's death or the release date of TWOW
2% fanart posters
3% misc

>>24891484
Lets be honest half of the thread is just talking about the thread now. Fuck this board.

>>24888997
man has truly gain the ability to live too long. when old age was a generous maximum of 40 man struggled to fill their life with accomplisment and adventure. now if we do one cool thing every couple decades were good.

>>24890005
lovecraftian gods are not pokemon. you misunderstand lovecraft which is why you can mention his greatness in a renaissance themed rape porno thread. you are the madness lovecraft warned about

>>24890084
hurrrrr all stories are interesting if they start with the oracle tells oedipus dad that oedipus will fuck his mother
wow
no one saw the prophesy fulfilment as a profound statement about religion and spirituality

>>24890659
> ned is honorable instead of being a stuck up moral orel comic relief character and father of another just like him who loses the war because he cant stop murdering his supporters
who do you think youre lying to when you describe neds prima donna virtue signaling as honor

>>24891210
>grrm is clearly not that interested in super precise worldbuilding
its lazy romantic porno

GRRM is frantically eating.

How do you think Gurm spends a typical day? In terms of a per-hour breakdown.