It's been fun reading again. Probably the only time I've been on 4chan and can say it's been mentally helpful.

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>>24936493
you're cute.

>>24936501
Pray a woman says that to me so I have someone to read to and/or with.

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first 3 chapters of act 1 of my 2nd draft so far. thoughts, crits, impressions. I'd like to hear them.
https://rentry.co/tf96gdpe
https://rentry.co/mqeabg89
https://rentry.co/q8rcokhr

>>24936525
You write like I do, and I just realized it's utterly insufferable. Somehow, you've ruined both our writing. Thanks

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>>24936539
explain further

>>24936525
Why does one of the NPCs call your MC Mengele?

>>24936555
I didn't see Mengele anywhere. Mendge is just his surname, if you meant Kaz or Buttermilch he's just being formal with military procedures.

>>24936559
they're* i drank a little too much tonight

>>24936559
Huh, I actually thought you were doing the "historical figure nickname" thing.
Not sure how I feel about naming a character Buttermilch, by the way.

>>24936574
Buttermilch, Victoria, and Friederika are just carryover names/characters from an older fiction, which I consider a spiritual successor to desu.

>>24936574
>Not sure how I feel about naming a character Buttermilch, by the way.
Ah, never mind, American Jews actually do have names like this.

>>24936542
Trying too hard to make trivial and dull things sound engaging by waxing lyrical about it like mccarthy despite having no ear or imagination

>>24936583
funny since I never read anything McCarthy related, but I already read Frank's Dune saga, Homer, and currently Stranger in a Strange Land.
>despite having no ear or imagination
?

>>24936586
Well, Frank Herbert and Homer write nothing like that, so don't know where you got your inspiration.

>>24936592
The only inspiration are the aforementioned desu. I happened to re-watch UC Gundam 0079 (movies), Zeta, and am currently rewatching ZZ throughout this year in the case of all 3 (ontop of CCA two separate rewatches). And besides reading Stranger in a Strange Land I'm not sure what else to tell you.

>>24936595
also ch3 I hunched over my physical book copy of iliad and ripped straight off the pages of it, specifically book 5, some of the battle segments, adapted slightly into a sci-fi setting.

>>24936595
It wasn't really a question.

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This is complete garbage and could easily have been written by a 15 year old, but the author has 1700 patrons.
If that isn't a whitepill I don't know what is. I'm going to copy this guy's premise and just write it slightly better.

>>24936780
Nice, I like the idea of being isekai'd into a school life harem comedy but this one is really boring and cringe, maybe I will enjoy your take on it more.

>>24936780
>write it slightly better.
Guaranteed flop

The manly urge to write FeMC

>In the Gu Master’s cultivation there was a saying going around: Raising a Gu is like raising a mistress.
>To keep a mistress you would need to buy food, clothes, a house etc. It is very expensive and the more you have the more costly it is; a normal man cannot afford it.
>Even if you keep so many, a man’s energy is limited; he cannot use them all. Would you raise them just to look at them?
Can somebody explain what are these gu?

>>24936812
Parasites you get from eating the raw meat of tortured animals.

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Cultivator bros, care to read a junior's writing and give me advice?

https://rentry.org/chapter1-rndm-cultivation-story

I think 3rd person is the way to go but I've been liking 1st person because of my MC's unreliable narration but then again I've only started so I don't want to write too far for now.

>>24936850
>Do cultivators dream of spirit sheep?
Im not a qualified writer but already, what do you mean by that? Why did the character wanted to ask that? It's just wasting the reader's time.
In fact you didn't even set a scene, it's just scattered thoughts your main character have, the only thing we do know is that it's been 3 years since his parents passed away and that he's still a child, then it's a flashback scene that's glued to your previous rambling, of a very happy family life at that, not terribly interesting for a cultivation story, specially it's first chapter
I was told that the fist chapter of a novel should "Hook" the reader and leave him wanting more, that chapter one should start the closest to the "Inciting incident" as possible, this isn't it

>>24936931
I see. I'll rewrite the 1st chapter and jump into the hook asap. probably just leave this as a prologue or something.

>>24936931
Oh another question if possible. you got any wuxia stories you could recommend?

I've only really read Tales of Demons and Gods, Coiling Dragon, LoTM and RI (which is hated here based from what I've seen lurking in the past.

>>24936525
you're missing a negative in the first sentence, you need another no before cries, also busywork doesn't need to be pluralised.
Also I dunno if you were trying to reference 'To sleep, perchance to dream' at the end of your third para but it comes of as hackneyed to me because of that echoing.
I think in general your frequent use of similes and asides detracts from the immediacy of the action.

Also holy shit please learn how to spell descent.

>>24936850
Writing seemed ok l until...
>MC's unreliable narration
Dropped.

Day x of not knowing how to start my story and not having a plot

>>24937037
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/desant
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tank_desant

>>24937137
Plagiarize

>>24937137
1. Find out when something interesting happens in your setting.
2. Start as close as you can to that interesting thing as possible.

>>24937137

>Introduce a problem
>Introduce a solution
>Show how they meet
Whoa, you have a plot!

>>24937145
Have you at any point in this used the word tank?

>>24937166
no

>>24935929
I haven't got a fullname for one of my protagonists yet and it's something I've gotta sort soon because my writing and notes is full of SURNAME where I've written that to be replaced later.

>>24936780
I had to drop it after I saw "eyes crescented into moons the 5th time" because I knew he wasn't going to stop it.

>>24936812
Gu is like some kind of folk poison/elixer black magic in China that involves forcing snakes, centipedes and scorpions and shit like that to fight in a pot and then extracting the venom from the winner (among other methods)
In RI they are more like spirit pokemon that you refine and absorb into you. They can come from anywhere including inside dreams and aren't just insects or whatever.
At least that's how I see it. I just think of them as Cyperbunk upgrades in a fantasy setting in the form of spirit creatures. So instead of occular implants you get vision enhancing Gu though Gu does gets way more complex.

>>24936939
Nobody cares about RI that much it's just we hate the RI spammer.

>>24936780
It's fascinating how many successful RR stories just take something popular and then make the protagonist so 'op' that even more drama is avoided.

Gu masters are like Cell from Dragonball.
Gu worms are the people Cell absorbs

Gu are the essence of heaven and earth. Man is the spirit of all things.

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I wrote my story to start gently and then steadily raise the tension and stakes towards the climax. But I'm barely 20% through posting and readers are already so high-strung and on edge, there'll be a total shitstorm before it even gets serious. People today really can't handle anything more exciting than "my invincible life in bubble wrap drinking breast milk"

>>24937437
you're confusing tension with the MC getting shit on

>>24937437
It's more that readers have become used to really shit slow pacing so good tension building really hits them

Path of the Deathless is some of the gayest shit I've ever read, wtf

>>24937445
My MC is op and doesn't get shit on, but the commenters are still DEEPLY CONCERNED. Self-inserter life is hard

>>24937454
nta
Nah I think it's because slow-building tension sucks ASS to read on a web serial. Might make for a good story when read through at once, but over 3 months dripfed in chapters? No
It's okay to upset the serial readers though, no need to write only for them

>>24937529
that's when you launch the patreon
It's how Super Supportive got so many subs immediately

How do i make my MC lose (and lose fairly often at that) without the readers shitting and screaming? I actually want to make an underdog to OPMC, but from what im readying people aren't very tolerant of the "Underdog" part

>>24937545
If the only thing they lose is the battle, but gain everywhere else. No true setbacks

>>24937545
>How do i make my MC lose (and lose fairly often at that) without the readers shitting and screaming?
You post it somewhere other than royalroad. Kek
But real answer, there's an audience for it, you'll just have to deal with more whiners in your comments than usual. You'll also likely do better on KU than RR so treat it as a stepping stone

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>>24937545
The villain planned everything from the start, and took full advantage of how dumb the MC’s friends were.

>>24937395
Is that the same schizo aloneinthisworld/IamFangyuang that used to brigade the reddit and discord, then made a new one for himself and the 'enlightened', which he then went on to both abandon, because he started yet another bender of doing drugs with his mothers money and/or getting arrested by the cops?
If so absolute kek

>>24937545
Just make it clear upfront the MC will struggle, and people who don't like that won't pick it up in the first place. You'll have under 10 readers on RR, but won't have to deal with flaming

>>24937459
>when to look it up assuming you were being hyperbolic
holy shit you weren't kidding

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>>24937611
going over it the guy actually wrote some shit while high

>>24937641
https://www.reddit.com/r/IamFangyuan_/comments/167zq55/my_mind_takes_me_to_some_very_dark_places/

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>>24937641
>while high
This is not an individual you can use terms like "high", "drunk", "sober", "lucid" etc on.

>>24937690
erm, based?

>>24937545
>tags: OPMC
>content: 100 chapters of straight losses
>why are people mad bro
Jesus maybe you guys should be using AI assistance

It takes so long to go from weak to OP in a satisfying way even when the MC is doing nothing but winning and getting lucky
If he's losing constantly it'll take you 30 books

I have written 4k words :)

>>24937938
now try editing 4k words

>>24937563
>You post it somewhere other than royalroad. Kek
Super Supportive has been one of the all-time most popular and successful stories on RR and Alden loses all the time.

>>24938135
>But real answer, there's an audience for it,

>>24938175
>you're also do better on KU than RR
>most obvious example is a RR mega-success that is only on patreon, not KU
you're just saying shit to say shit again

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>enjoy a mod
>want to watch a video about it to see what others think
>look inside
>another neural upscale no-commentary gameplay
>a Matt Eldrydge weapons showcase
>a dogshit quality clip from someone's stream (this would be fine but these rarely have any real commentary about the mod itself)

I don't get it. I really don't. I can find videos covering random mods for games with far less active modding communities. God I don't want to do it myself. I really don't. But I might have to.

>>24938251
I think you meant to post this on /vr/

>>24938252
i did
i did

>>24938188
for all you know SS would do better on KU so its not a counterexample
of course im just saying shit to say shit, this is 4chan, a wng thread, for talking. what is this even supposed to mean?

>>24938188
also since you want to be weirdly pedantic out of nowhere ill point out the topic is underdog to opmc which SS definitely isnt

>>24938263
I see I'm not the only one who enjoys both doom mods and web novels.
It makes sense, both have more free content than anyone could consume in a lifetime.

>>24938281
>underdog to opmc which SS definitely isnt
Not so sure about that, maybe not in the "I can do anything better than anyone else" sense of Xianxia protagonists but Bearer of all Burdens is potentially really amazing and might save the entirety of the knights.

>>24937938
I've been feeling like shit and woke up sick this morning but I still managed to squeeze out 2k words. I've realized that it really is just a matter of discipline, not motivation. I do 2k words a day minimum, even if they're bad, and at the end of the week I look back and I still got 14k words done, which is 14k more than I would have done if I waited until I felt better.

Congrats anon. Good job. Keep up the good work.

>>24938311
the protagonist being very strong or special in some way does not mean OPMC

>>24937545
My story is extremely weak to OPMC and part of it is the how the struggle is framed.
I got negative comments about the story at the point where MC was defined as weak and when he suffered the consequences of being weak (this is in third person narration btw so I imagine if it was first person the self-inserters would have been even more acerbic).
Then the story shifted to a new kind of conflict, where I showed how the MC /could/ become strong, growing levels accumulating resources. People liked this arc better, but I forgot to include aura moments. I should have had more aura farming. But people didn't complain as much until the end when I reminded readers that MC is in fact still weak, and can't do everything himself.
I'm now in the arc where MC is actually OP and showing it off and I STILL got a comment from someone complaining, but I think that was a problem on their end since they liked the next chapter.
But in this later arc I'm getting a LOT more positive comments, and the only real benefit to having done all this is that nobody claims the MC's power is unearned, because he really did earn it.
Now look at all the hyper-successful OPMC from the start stories at the top of RS since MLA.

My conclusion from all this is that people want a more direct powerfantasy. There can be progression, but they don't want to watch a struggle.

So basically RR is reinventing "summoned cheat skill isekai."

Take this wisdom and use it wisely.

>>24938281
>which SS definitely isnt
the entire setup is that the protagonist has a dogshit class, then act 2 is about them learning to loophole it into being more and more powerful while everyone else is fairly static. It's just on a slow timescale rather than him being OP chapter 5

>>24938344
Oh, to follow up on how the struggle is framed:
I made it clear it was super weak to super strong from the very beginning: a big part of the hook of the story is finding out how MC does that, regardless of how bad his situation looks at the moment.

>>24938344
>My conclusion from all this is that people want a more direct powerfantasy.
Stop making generalizations based on anecdotes. Where's your source for this claim?

>>24938335
We don't actually know how powerful Alden will end up being. He could literally end up being the guy who takes all the skills from all the knights who can't bear it anymore and become the strongest ever if the author feels like it.

>>24938317
Yeah I'm a newbie

>>24938344
>if it was first person the self-inserters would have been even more acerbic
why do people think this?
Shouldn't self-inserters dislike first-person since it's basically a different person recounting events directly to the reader?

>>24938352
Did you hit your head and forget what I wrote in my post?
It's based on responses to my fiction and what's been topping the RS list since MLA.
I will prove this in Q1 next year when I release my cheat power summoned isekai story and surpass MLA's patreon success.

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Today on Royalroad Mysteries:
>how can some authors have borderless profiles?

>>24938396
https://www.royalroad.com/user/borders
It's literally one of the default options.

Can someone spoil for me how the author in

> Worth the candle

rationalizes the relationship between Amaryllis and Juniper?

From my point of view it literally makes no sense. She is asexual, he is obsessed with sex. He sees her as being literally made for him in the looks department, and literally has a raging boner anytime he looks at her.

So him loving her makes sense, but how the fuck did she come to love him?

At the beginning she said she finds sex disgusting, and how does them being in a relationship even accomplish anything that couldn't be accomplished by them being friends? How can she romantically love him?

The fucking books are made up bullshit to make me mad. Build up some characters and then shit all over them.
Though one thing i guess was on point and i really don't understand the feelings it brought up, since they are clearly retarded.

Anytime there's a sidecharacter or a party member in a book which is female but doesn't end up with the MC but finds love with someone else than MC it makes me mad. I don't get that. The MC realizes this too in the story, as his party member he didn't have romantic feelings for got together with someone else and it made him mad. And i'm detached from it by reading a book on top of it and it still made me mad. What? Retarded ass brain.

>>24938413
>how the fuck did she come to love him?
She doesn't

>>24938405
Oh then I was looking for this in their mobile app. That thing is so barebones it's not only missing customization options like these, if you pay for premium just to add an engaging background to your fiction page it also gets cropped and distorted when viewed through the app.

>using the wrong border
>-2.1% reader follow count
>using no border and alienating yourself from borderful readers
>-5.9% reader follow count

>>24938420
So why did they get married? Also is she then gaslighting him and herself in the library books? Or did the DM write that shit up? Why does she modify her soul to not love him? Why does her soul say that she does love him?

Are you making stuff up or what?

I just got an ergonomic chair to write for longer hours on my desk but oh god it sucks even my shitty gamer one is better than this thing which has the rear support being a plate of hard plastic pressing against your back 24/7 definitely try out any chair before getting it.

>>24938436
Her idea of love is not the same as romantic love.

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>>24938421
You gotta be careful with them mobile apps man, they steal your data and track your location at a minimum. I just use the website on brave browser on my phone (doesn't block user ads).
Obviously I'm still getting some data harvested but it's less.

>>24938444
So why is he fine with it? He obviously wants romantic love. Also he's a lot about sex, does he just fuck other women? Could you elaborate on that? I am curious how the author rationalized that whole thing, but reading any more of the books would just be torture.

>>24938453
the author is a cuck and wants to torture you

>>24938413
Anon, WtC was written as basically a protracted depressive episode ventfic/tantrum. Its purpose is to proliferate the author's social contagion onto the readers as a form of parasocial sadism, not to be a good novel.

>>24938430
Literally just do whatever MagicBeat does. It's that simple.

>>24938464
>>24938455
It definitely feels like it. I still feel bad for having invested the time to get basically tortured.
Why should i give any of the authors other stuff a chance after this bullshit?

It actually 100% seems like just a series to make the reader feel bad.

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>>24938482
I don't understand why anyone reads works that aren't finished and know the ending is one that will satisfy them.

>>24938495
True. The amount of times I was saved from being disappointed by just checking if the author writes some sort of cuckshit in the last chapter is astounding. Western authors really are pursuing a cuckoldry promoting agenda.

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>>24938500
If someone mentions a story the absolute first thing I do is check novelupdates and read the tags and reviews before responding.

Research shows that spoilers make you stronger.

>>24938495
I don't see what that has to do with what anon's reading. Worth the Candle has had a known rep for half a decade now.

>>24938516
Not a good reputation among people with taste.

>>24938495
No joke i would actually only read the stories that had ending that satisfied me, and never feel bad about it, if also the path to that ending was satisfying. But i first try if the stuff atleast hooks me and try to fish for hints that the story might make me mad before searching for spoilers.

Also i avoid stuff that isn't finished. I will never consciously start reading stuff that is unfinished. I started reading PGTS before i found out that it's unfinished.

But there isn't really anything in PGTS that hints at it making me mad eventually, except if Siobhan goes the Rozemyne route where she marries old asshole that brainwashed her(Thaddeus Lacer), then i would probably fly to wherever the fuck the author lives to have a talk.

I read stuff to escape reality, not to try to find answers to existential questions or to make myself depressed like some teenager.

>>24938436
Their marriage is for political reasons, they even make up a fake relationship history for a "marriage inspector".
She shows some sentimentality sometimes but it's akin to what you would show your favorite uncle or something.

>>24938500
It's the fetish of intellectuals, after all.

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>>24938452
Uhh
>israeli company

>>24938542
So they never end up in an actual romantic relationship and Juniper is fine with being a cuck? That's just terrible writing.

And all the shit about her being in love with him is just a bait? That it's not an actual love.
Wow bravo retard author, really cool.

>>24938561
Juniper is a self insert of the author
You shouldn't self-insert in these stories anyway or get too attached. Or if you want to self-insert make sure it's the right kind of story.
Like imagine hearing that some guy you don't know that well like Bob from accounting or whatever (instead of an actual friend or brother) was married to a woman that didn't love him back. You'd just think wow that sucks for him and move on with your life. Juniper isn't even a real person so why get worked up about it.

>>24938570
>why get worked up about it.
"cuck" gave it away anon, anti-cuck posters aren't rational, they just want to rant about the thing they hate even if it's on a board, in a thread and about a subject where it doesn't really make sense

>>24938570
How do you enjoy a story without trying to feel what the characters are feeling?

As i said the point for me is escapism. I could not enjoy a story as unfeeling observer, and can't really imagine anyone who would. For that i'd watch anime or movies. In that the emotion is transferred by different means.

I wouldn't give a fuck about bob because i don't know his life story or basically anything about him. I don't know how he feels, never read his thoughts. Juniper is more real for me than people i've known at work for multiple years.

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>>24938588
we've got an actual cuck defending this shit

>>24938593
explain how consensual cuckolding is a bad thing without getting mad

>>24938611
not him but it's conscious self-humiliation.
It's as if you were cutting yourself. Do you think people that cut themselves are fine to do it?

>>24938611
Go study bonobos in Africa or something, nobody has enough free time to try to discuss the intricacies of cuckoldry with you.

>>24938627
>got mad
concession accepted.

>>24938666
Yeah, there is no winning with unironic cucks. Even if I humiliate you, you probably just leak out of your caged clitty or something.

>>24938500
More than a few cultivation stories start with the MCs jade-like beauty childhood friend whos promised her hand to him being stolen away by a young master which starts him on his journey to the higher realms.

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>>24938611
Don't think so, think I'll just fuck your wife

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how do learn this power

>>24938701
unironically life in korea
korean manhwa and webnovels are a direct reflection of korean life
and korean life is a batshit hellhole

>>24937137
make a outline. sentence fragments with numbers in a list. The chapter accomplishes the sentence fragment. You need (any) beginning and to know where you will end up in chapter 20. Play with the outline and each line gets a chapter.

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Always loved punch girls, never realized they could be elegant too.

>>24938717
Women are so wonderful they can do anything. Men suck!

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I'm starting the outline for this soon.

Any videos/books recommended for writing competent prose? Or is it something you just sort of write as you go and I'm using the Internet to procrastinate instead of disabling it and writing.

>>24938762
The latter
Though there is a book by Ursula Le Guin about it

>>24938725
>cover before even an outline
I regret telling that other anon to check you out. Go write instead of larping as an author in our slopthread.

>>24938797
It's nice to have a cover of your work beside your screen so it can inspire your creative process. I write better looking after the "finished product" cover

>>24938797
couldn't be me,h-haha...

>outline
>for a webnovel
grow up

Can't believe I got baited into clicking on yet another F Gardner ad

>>24938875
is the f-tier gardener actually the strongest, though?

>>24937938
>>24938317
Keep it up, kings.

>>24938781
I'll check her out, but I'll do the smart thing and disable the Internet so I actually work. I have 90% of the chapter done except the prose. I also need to plan out future chapters (probably not smart to just have the first chapter before publishing) but that's for a later time.

>>24939033
Get a cheapo laptop and work at your local park, it does wonders for my productivity

>>24939037
Super cold right now but maybe there's a cafe or something I can go to. I actually don't have a laptop but I do have an iPad which I can probably dust off.

>>24938352
Nta but I most certainly want more powerful protagonists, it's why I came to webnovels in the forest place. Traditional publishers always seem intent of having some special snowflake that is downtrodden and struggles throughout a trilogy of books to become the chosen one who literally does nothing but one thing and gets crippled by it but still has the power of friendship. Fuck. That. Noise.
Just give me some Chad who stumbles upon some OP key to a system or some bug in the system and experiences drastic social mobility and growth in personal power while exploding the sun. tolerable romance is a bonus. Honestly don't get why this is so hard for sheeple to comprehend someone enjoying.

Should I purchase the new fan published hardcover editions of Reverend Insanity? It’s only $240 for volumes 1-4.

>>24938762
How to write good prose: no idea.
How to write good enough prose: write clearly and precisely.
A man walked from point A to point B. = Bad. Not enough information.
Jason trudged through the snowfield toward the old barn.
Frank Franklinson, a five-foot-nine, 220-pound, thirty-year-old accountant from New York City, exited his green, second-hand 2015 Toyota Prius and marched hurriedly beneath the cloudy sky toward the American Dream, one of the largest shopping malls in New Jersey. = Bad. Too much information cramped into a single sentence.
Frank Franklinson exited his 2015 Toyota Prius and marched toward the American Dream, one of the largest shopping malls in New Jersey.
The corpse was dragged across the wooden floorboards. = Bad. Who dragged the corpse?
The killer dragged the corpse across the wooden floorboards.
Blondie, clutching her flashlight, tiptoed down the winding staircase. = Not awful, but it’s better to keep the subject and the main verb together.
Clutching her flashlight, Blondie tiptoed down the winding staircase.
“Mr. Anonson will see you now,” the secretary, who sat behind the shiny oak desk, said.
“Mr. Anonson will see you now,” the secretary said from behind the shiny oak desk.
How to write dialogue? Not like these:
“B-b-but I c-can’t just sh-sh-shoot him!” stuttered Jim.
Clark grumbled slowly: “Well… that’s… disappointing…”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!” Ron ejaculated.
And the dweeb was like, “Did that just happen?”
Keep it simple:
“But I—I can’t just shoot him!” Jim said.
“That’s disappointing,” Clark said.
“What are you doing?” Ron shouted.
“This can’t be happening,” the dweeb said.

>>24939214
Good enough is fine by me. Thank you very much anon and I'll be sure to use this as a guide!

>>24939214
Ron has some kinks

>>24936525
I'll critique all three for $100.
>>24936850
I'll critique that for $20.

>>24939268
I'll just stick to getting my morale utterly atomically obliterated by claude ai thanks.

>>24939214
I see your train of thought, but it's erroneous. You're caught up in how to describe things. A novel is more than just description of things that physically exist. If someone took this advice literally, they would have a very, very long and boring story where everything is given equal weight in importance. An equally important skill is knowing when to skip over details, and which details to focus on. And an even more important skill is knowing how to ensure you achieve the desired tone of a scene. If you're just focusing on vivid detail everywhere, you'll probably miss the feeling of each scene.

>>24939278
I'll try to be pretty minimalistic. I value flow over everything else.

>>24939123
>purchase
>fan published
>only $240

>>24938396
I turned off my border because seeing that fucking distracting clusterfuck contraption annoyed me immensely. Didn't realize I accidentally started a fad

>>24938870
Do you want authors to hone their craft or not?

>>24939437
It's not the same craft as tradpubbing a 350 page book

I get a burst of followers whenever someone leaves a trash review. What the fuck. Maybe I should leave them up

>>24939442
How often do you get trash reviews that this is a trend you've been able to notice?

>>24939442
good. being controversial brings publicity, good or bad.

>>24939439
Yeah web novels benefit from outlines even more than tradpub books because you don't have an editor to fix all your pacing and structure problems.
You can get away with pantsing a trad novel and have the editor help you fix it, it's only so many pages afterall.
If you try to pants a web novel and fall behind or keep asspulling arcs your going to screw yourself over.

>>24939453
Skill issue. I've got a 100+ chapter backlog so I can pants when I need to and still have time left to edit.

>>24939443
Regularly. Something about my current work lures in the most retarded mouthbreathers. Thankfully, they're too fucking stupid to not break half the rules and their sperging is quickly removed, if only I care to report them.

>>24939467
Can i read one, this sounds hilarious

>>24939468
They're not very inspired. Just one or two lines seething about something incredibly minor and then "review must have 200 words" spammed repeatedly to fill the form. I did get a pretty passionate one today crying that I should add a warning in the synopsis about incest in my story. There is no incest or sexual content in the story wtf Whatever these people are smoking, I want to try some.

Is there a royalroad style guide?

I don't read much on my browser, but when I do open a chapter, it's all spaced out.

The lines are like this, and most of the time they aren't whole paragraphs. Is that what people want?

>>24939500
Majority of the users are on phone so it's either single lines like that or short paragraphs with 3-5 sentences.
Just don't do longer paragraphs because it looks like walls of text to them even though it wouldn't on a PC.

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Anyone up for helping me with suggestions?
I'm on withdrawal waiting for the translation of the next Silent Witch novel, so the main theme would be "something like Silent Witch".

Googling gave me New Life as a Max Lev Archmage", which was a fun read.

Minimum reqs would be proper use of pronouns, cute female mc and no cuck shit.

Humanity's #1 Fan seems to be a fun idea but I'm hesitant after the "they them" on page 1.....

Published boos are ok as well, I couldn't find a light novel general so I though it'd be ok asking here...

>>24939500
>Is there a royalroad style guide?
It's just HTML.

>>24939500
If you use Word, you can just copy paste verbatim. If you use Google Docs, it will paste as if you had selected "Line break after paragraph" formatting option.

>>24939528
>"something like Silent Witch".
Which means what exactly? Don't assume we've all read the same trash as you.

>>24939537
nta, but I'd assume girlautist OPMC

>>24939538
That's like 90% of all stories on RR (even without the fem MC part)

>>24939541
>even without the fem MC part
but that's the most important part

>>24939528
Magical Girl Gunslinger is kind of similar I guess, though MC doesn't have the level of social anxiety seen in Silent Witch. Actually I don't think any other femc does.

>>24939544
(I'm trans btw)

>>24939528
Humanities number 1 fan is a pretty straightforward litrpg battle story despite it seeming like something else from the blurb ,there's like sixty chapters in a tutorial battle zone. Don't think it's what you're after
>but I'm hesitant after the "they them"
Are you stupid? That passage is talking about all of humanity, of course the pronoun are neutral.

>>24939552
>sixty chapters
what the fuck. I tried it the other day and dropped it after 5 chapters since the battle stuff was so fucking boring and a total bait-and-switch. What's even the point of the premise, then...

>>24939556
> What's even the point of the premise
To get people to read it.

>>24939537
proper use of pronouns, cute female mc and no cuck shit

In Silent Witch the mc is an ultra shy but very op cute little witch who get's forced into an undercover bodyguard mission for a royal at a magical college where lots of fantasy stuff happens....

But that's very specific so I'll settle for proper use of pronouns, cute female mc and no cuck shit

>>24939552
>"a small, curly-haired toddler with ketchup stains on their face"

I think I'll give I Revived My Maid, Now She Hungers for My Blood a try?

>>24939556
There's a few humans (3 I think) in there with her and there's some humor from her trying to legitimately be friendly while they're painfully aware that she can kill them in an instant.
But yeah, not what I imagined from the description.
When they do get back to the real world there's more fighting, lost interest a few chapters into that.
I think it might actually be the book that made me swear to not read any more apocalypse stuff, I never find it interesting.

>>24939566
You encounter a lot of stories with cuck shit and scary pronouns do you?

>>24939566
>no cuck shit
>but I love the LN where five different men crush on the protag and they all happily hang out with her even after she clearly is going to end up with the broody dark prince
What the fuck is cuckshit to you then if you're sensitive enough to keep whining about it like it's a common problem when this doesn't count

>>24939566
>be an obvious troon reading shoujo trash full of cucking
>whine about pronouns and cuckshit
Too much fluoride in the water?

>>24939569
oky thanks for the input!
You got a specific suggestion? female mc or even male if he's really witty or genuinely unique...

>>24939572
Silent Witch is not really romance up to the point I've read (vol7).
How far have you read?
If it really turns into what you're implying, I'll prolly drop it....

>>24939566
That's a lot of autism in a single post.

Anyway, enough with the cuckshit.
I wrote that because of the prior posts in this general that hint to this shit being rampant on rr...
But I can filter out stuff I don't like by myself....

I guess I'm down to "cute female mc, story is not too serious"

femc dudes are retards, what else is new

>>24939611
*Human femc dudes are retards

>>24939546
The synopsis sounds a bit heavy.
Is this more on the serious side?

>>24939618
if it's not a human I don't even see genders

>>24939632
>elf femboy lover

>>24939634
that's a human in costume, faggot

>>24936451
Why is there fire on her hands?

>>24939605
Just add female mc to your RR search filters and see what's popular. It's not rocket science.

>>24939649
Because I'm interested in what people in this general would read and recommend?

>>24939670
None of the series I'm reading with female leads are "cute". We all have different tastes anon.

>>24939569
Didn't make it past chapter 5....

Gonna try Amelia Thornheart next, this one has a really promising start.

Anyone read Archmage from Another World: Gaining Administrator Access?

>>24939857
Archmage from Another World isn't great, but not terrible. It's just utterly meh. Don't waste your time.

Amelia Thornheart is very good if you don't mind lesbians.

>>24939875
Oh and Archmage is inactive, it never went anywhere in the end.

*fades to black*

winnies with female (male) protagonist?

>>24939902
speak english mofo

>>24939875
>Amelia Thornheart is very good if you don't mind lesbians.
I hate lesbians.

>>24939924
Cringe

glopping endlessly aside, is Sword Art Online a decent read?

>>24939932
no and i'm saying this as jap LN slurper. read Infinite Dendrogram,grimgar or log horizon instead if you want jap mmoslop

“Do you know why this Emperor has summoned you to the Highest Heaven Tribunal today, you absolute degenerate?!”

The Jade Emperor, robes whiter than a virgin’s dao heart, slammed a 3000-page jade scroll onto the celestial jade table so hard that three nearby golden immortals instantly dropped two major realms out of pure shock.

John Smith (real name: Xu Yin, courtesy name: He Who Makes Protagonists Wear Green Hats Forever), legendary NTR Transcendent Immortal, silver hair messier than a dual-cultivation orgy after-party, robes hanging open to reveal eight-pack heavenly abs glistening with leftover saintess lipstick, yawned like a man who had just finished railing the entire Heavenly Court harem for the seventh time this morning.

“Let’s review your crimes together, shall we?” The Jade Emperor roared, veins popping on his perfect immortal forehead.

“You are the only cultivator in history to reach the Transcendent Realm… by maxing out the NTR Dao.”

John scratched his cheek. “Yeah, sounds about right.”

“One month ago, the Myriad Worlds were officially renamed ‘The Green Hat Multiverse’ by the Heavenly Dao itself. Do you know how that started?”

“Nope.”

“It started when you teleported into Child of Heaven Gu Qingyun’s wedding chamber, kicked him out, put on his bridal crown backwards like a party hat, and plapped Saintess Luo Xue for nine days and nine nights on his wedding bed while the entire sect watched through the live-streaming array you set up.”

“I vaguely remember her screaming my name a lot.”

“You then left a verified five-star review on Heavenly Royal Road:
‘10/10 would cuck again. Tightest saintess I’ve ever ascended with. Bonus points for the fiancé crying outside ’
That single review caused ten thousand Young Masters to simultaneously vomit three liters of blood each. The Heavenly Dao lost 0.1% of its source energy from pure second-hand embarrassment.”

John yawned again. “Still not ringing a bell.”

“After that you went down the entire protagonist waiting list like it was a buffet:

>>24939938
- Lin Feng’s ice fairy: Bent over the Nine Yin Freezing Peak while it thawed from her moans.
- Xiao Yan’s Medusa Queen: You turned her into a snake milf and coiled her around you in front of thirty million viewers.
- Fang Yuan’s sovereign female Gu: You gave it human form, massive badonkers, and a breeding kink, then did it doggy-style on his reincarnation altar while he watched in ten-thousand-year time dilation.”

John tilted his head. “I feel like you’re exaggerating.”

“Every single stolen heroine left the exact same copypasta review:
‘John Smith’s Heavenly Dragon made me break through three major realms mid-climax My trash ex-fiancé couldn’t even find my clit with a realm treasure map ’”

The Jade Emperor was shaking now. “And now… now look at this!”

He flipped the jade monitor around.

Royal Road Traffic: ▲42069%
Monthly Revenue: Yes
Patreon Goal “Rail the Dragon Princess Next”: 6842% funded
Top comment (pinned on every novel):
“Take my life savings, my spirit stones, my mom’s life savings, JUST PLEASE KEK THE SUPREME ELDER NEXT I NEED THIS”

The Jade Emperor slammed the table so hard the entire Heavenly Leaderboard shattered into glitter.
“Are you gonna ban me?”

“BAN YOU?! BAN. YOU?! WE’RE GIVING YOU YOUR OWN OFFICIAL TAG! ‘Verified NTR God’! We’re upgrading the entire site to Negative Five-Star reviews just so readers can express how deliciously mad they are while still paying us! The Heavenly Treasury has never been this full since Pangu sold merch!”

A golden system panel popped up in front of John with heart-shaped sparkles.

Ding
[Reader “Proud Immortal Xiao Yan” just sent $9999 with note: “Senior, please cuck me harder, I’m only at the 72nd level of Green Hat Enlightenment”]
Ding
[Reader “Reverend Insanity Fang Yuan” sent an entire minor realm with note: “Worth it.”]
Ding
[Reader “Gu Qingyun” rage-donated his family fortune with note: “I hate you so much I’m ascending from pure spite… take my wife again please”]

John finally looked mildly interested. “So… no ban?”

The Jade Emperor dropped to his knees, tears in his eyes, clutching John’s thigh.

“No ban! Promotion! We’re making you the official mascot of Heavenly Royal Road! Here, have this limited-edition ‘Certified Wife Stealer’ halo, it comes with +500% reader rage to revenue conversion!”

John shrugged, equipped the glowing green halo that literally said “KEKOO” in ancient runes, and stretched.

“Cool. So who’s next on the schedule? I heard the Goddess of the Nine Heavens just broke off her engagement…”

The entire tribunal of golden immortals spontaneously vomited blood in perfect synchronization.

Fade to black as the donation counter went BRRRRRRRRRRR

I'm not reading all that.

>>24939958
b-but is ntr

>>24939962
I'm cucking you out of readership, then.

>>24939935
Log horizon is the fucking driest, dullest, dumbest, most unfun infodump marathon I've ever seen printed and I'd sooner reread SAO 5 times than try that dog shit again

>>24939638
>Why is there fire on her hands?
Why don't you read it and find out why

>>24940012
Nice try, Joshua

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>>24939875
talking moose's head, I wonder where the author got the idea....

anyways, I'm sold, lesbian sky-submarine demon-navy isekai is my new favorite genre

>>24940012
Please just tell me. Might be it’ll get me interested.

>>24939268
I'll critique one of your critiques so you can give better critiques for 30$

>>24940079
Why the fuck is "girl holding fire" the selling point to you?

>>24940094
Who knows? Maybe she is on fire because she is so hot for MC? That could be fun.

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>>24940100

>>24940094
She has fire powers nigga

Discovered a funny trait in my writing, where the more I try to give my protag a unique voice, the more I make them sound like a dickhead

>>24940117
Your character:
"oi author, are you fuckin thick or what?

these characters you’re churnin out don’t sound like dickheads in the slightest, and neither do I, you absolute helmet. you’re sittin there imaginin shit that ain’t even on the page, you deluded twat. stop projectin your own bollocks onto me and sort your fuckin head out, yeah?"

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Do readpiggies enjoy alchemy as a power set? In MY world, combat alchemy focuses almost solely around modifying your body with (semi)permanent or temporary buffs. Meaning you have to prepare things beforehand and can't just asspull a new move mid fight.

I'm worried that they'll want hype moments/aura farming/learning new moves mid fight. Also, alchemy is not the only power set and other do not necessarily require the same level of preparation/resources. I don't want readpiggies getting asshurt when the MC has to work harder than others to acquire and process materials.

>>24940094
It would presumably tell me a lot about this universe and setting. Is there a race of human who have fire on their hands?

it's really funny to see people try to give out advice like >>24940132 while being genuine dogshit at writing

If you want your fiction to succeed, just add side-character POV glazing chapters

>300 followers
>0 reviews
>This fiction has not received enough ratings yet to have a score.
>435 chapters
How do they do it?

>>24940250
I don't know how to sound like a dickhead, but I tried. What did I do wrong?

>>24940300
You sounded like someone trying to sound like a dickhead but failing because he's 12.

>>24940308
I did not want to be too insulting and used PG-13 stuff. Is that the problem?

>>24940277
Just the other day, I saw a fiction with over 250,000 views and 0 reviews, was it the same? Must be inoffensive but deeply forgettable trash

>>24940277
Probably easier to add bot followers to your AI-generated slop than to have them write authentic reviews?

>>24940351
There are many of these. Just look at Latest Updates and you'll find one or two.

>>24940354
Botting followers seems 100 times harder than ChatGPTing a review or ten

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>edit a chapter 3-4 times before scheduling it
>read it through a couple more times
>yeah, it's fine
>move on
>take one last look before it goes up
>IT'S ALL FUCKED
>stay up until midnight fixing tons of dumb little things that I never noticed
>tremble thinking how close I was to a total disaster
Writing web serials clearly isn't for me

>>24940444
Life exists to struggle. You either embrace it or never do anything.

Never read a cultivation story before. What exactly does "aura farming" mean? Sounds like it's just a generic way to get stronger in these stories but what does the character physically do to "aura farm"?

>>24940474
just google it retard

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>>24940474
>Aura farming is a term denoting the act of cultivating an appearance of effortless charisma or "coolness", often through repetitive, stylized actions

>>24940483
>>24940510
I did actually google this myself but thought it might mean something different in xianxia or something because of the way I see you guys talk about it.

>>24940474
Basically, character appears badass without even doing anything, just dominating with their presence. Popularized by Solo Leveling that's full of posturing. Not very well conveyed in writing

>>24939902
If you mean genderbend, that's an entire sub-genre of Korean wns. I Became This Murims Crazy Bitch is great.
If you mean femboys then I don't know. There's a few on the chink sites but I haven't read them.

>>24940562
>genderbender
>sub-genre of korean wns
I laughed

>>24940567
It is, they write it in a specific way that's different from how it's used as a tag elsewhere.

>>24940551
>Basically, character appears badass without even doing anything,
the way I see it used is literally just referring to any scene where the MC comes off as cool, no matter how or what or why

>>24940588
There may be action before it, but it's important that the character stops to just bask in the awe and fear of the onlookers. That's aura farming. Any other use is mistaken.

>>24940591
>Any other use is mistaken.
it's slang bro the correct usage is how it's used
and that's not how it's used

>>24940594
Used by who? Youtube comments?

>>24940610
just wherever I see it. it's a very common term these days when talking about fiction of any medium

>>24940587
is it more or less gay if they do it

>>24940474
It's like having a side-character POV glazing scene, but from the protagonist's perspective.

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Other characters only exist to show how far the MC has come

>>24940474
Aura farming is the same as rizz

>>24940805
It isn't

>>24940825
He's right if you think about it

rizz is the same as charisma
charisma is the same as comeliness

>>24940093
I'm good. I'm not the one actively begging and soliciting random people for critique, and then complaining that no one is willing to do it.

>>24940833
CO is NOT the same as CHA.
Jeff Goldblum has low CO but high CHA

>>24940839
Too bad. -4 strength.

>>24940836
Pay me $30 and I'll critique your ability to get other people to pay you for critiques

>>24940849
I'll pay you $300 to circumcise yourself with acid.

>>24940851
contemplate why youre so mad about being called out for your jewishness

>>24940856
Contemplate why no one will read your awful stories for free. Oh wait. If you could do that, you wouldnt be begging for critique.

>>24940864
>Contemplate why no one will read your awful stories for free.
this insult only works reliably in /wg/
lots of people read my story. many pay to do so

>>24940836
>I'm not the one actively begging and soliciting random people for critique, and then complaining that no one is willing to do it.
Never seen this in /wng/

>>24940880
And lots of people pay for my critique. High five, brosef. We're both gonna make it.

>>24940783
It's amazing how popular Dragon Ball is despite literally just being that.

>>24940934
When you read a couple xianxia you will come to appreciate Dragon Ball for its characters.

are WN readers generally more tolerant of traitorous MCs? ie. MC actually betrays a close companion for power or progress.

>>24940969
No way, if anything it's way less. Also less tolerant of vengeance seeking MCs. Though you'd think it would be the other way around but I guess most Bhudist larpers are exactly that.

kemono bros...

>>24941009
I kinda swore off it after I got caught out with catching up with something and then hitting an outage twice.

>>24941009
>>24941120
Did something happened? I mean besides all the things im interested in not updating for a month now...

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>>24940969
>>24940987
Loyalty to others is betrayal to oneself; betrayal to others is loyalty to oneself.

>>24940969
There's a definite audience for anti-hero / villainous leads as long as you tag or describe the story correctly. Though rarely are such stories written well and the MCs actions don't make sense except for the author trying to be edgy. If you want a well done example try https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/126262/empress-of-fire

>get mildly ill
>routine all fucked up
>can barely write half my prior output
Fuck colds man, seriously.
I did get a nice 5 star rating today though.
I'm considering giving my first negative rating for a story (Song of the Gift-Giver), but not sure if I want to bother. On the one hand, the story's rating is massively inflated. On the other hand, I'd rather be a sunbeam of positivity and give posititve ratings to smaller fictions to help boost them instead.

Maybe I'll just upgrade one of my ratings to a full review. Or maybe even do three reviews, for Magpie, Cat, and Hellhound Girl Evolution.

>>24940949
People don't get that Dragon Ball works because the characters were just humans vulnerable to be put into wacky situations. The senseless fighting towards the latter end started to be the weaker end and people copying that while ignoring the characterization feels like they missed the point.

>>24940162
I honestly a good alchemy element to a magic system but it has to be interesting and consistent. Where I draw the line for example is when one character has a muscle/body enhancement but another character just breaks a potion vial and wins the fight. Like the guy has enhanced speed and he couldn't react faster then some tard throwing a potion? Gay AND lame.

>>24940934
Dragon Ball (the manga) is expertly written and I mean it completely unironically. Namek is a masterclass in pacing.

>>24941467
>Dragon Ball (the manga) is expertly written and I mean it completely unironically. Namek is a masterclass in pacing.
Dragon Ball has some of the best writing I've ever seen in-terms of character interactions. Which is a darn shame that after Namek the series takes a nosedive in quality.

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>This revision shows you're working through the issues, and you've fixed several key problems. However, you've also made one thing worse and introduced a new error, and several critical issues remain unaddressed. This feels like a partial revision pass rather than the thorough cleanup Chapter 2 needs.
I really wish I could have a human read my work... feels bad man.

>>24941597
Thank God I have friends I can bully into reading my stuff. I still need to have some look over my rough plot outline so I can start working without having to panic over writing myself into a corner.

>>24941614
I have one(1) reader/writer friend, but so far he's been radio silence because he's a government military wagie and has 0 time for literally anything ever. . Feels bad man. I even worked up the courage to start posting it on a crit channel in a very super ancient/wg/ discord from like 2020 and only one offered to offer crit—i even said to be as rough as possible to the point of making me break down in tears, truth is people are just comically busy. thus, my only option is claude, and it's such a super bully.

>>24941619
>I have one(1) reader/writer friend, but so far he's been radio silence because he's a government military wagie and has 0 time for literally anything ever.
Mostly same thing for me. I've been writing stuff in a way that caters to a friend group I have though to basically force them to sit down and critique which is better than nothing.

>>24941625
lucky you :(

>>24941634
I'd be happy to help. Though I've seen so many frauds that I'm skeptical of using online for anything serious. That being said I have 2 days to write both the first chapter and the initial plot outline and while that's probably a piece of cake for most people I'm still an amateur.

>>24941644
Meant that as in I wouldn't blame you for not trusting me or any anon here.

There's no such a thing as a "busy" person. It simply means he isn't interested and will rather spend his time on anything else. Take that as you will.

>>24941644
https://rentry.co/tf96gdpe
https://rentry.co/mqeabg89
https://rentry.co/q8rcokhr
wip incomplete https://rentry.co/fdoq9sm2

>>24941699
I really don't blame them, or anons. My writing is just flatout terrible. Turns out reading a metric shiton of physical old tradpub books makes no actual difference in improving your writing. I was rebuffed on a RR discord once that an author once made to a top spot of RS or best rated despite claiming never reading a single book before, so who knows?

>>24940277
Most reviews come from review swaps and are therefore worthless. I'm guessing this author just don't want to engage in that gay shit.

Seriously, I regularly see fictions with pathetic stats, but 30+ reviews, and they're all from swaps. It doesn't seem to do shit to help them grow, so I don't engage in it either.

>>24941729
Reading reviews is utterly pointless nowadays, feels like its all at the level of bots posting a template.

>>24941754
There's no reason to review on RR really.
If you leave a good, balanced review the author will hate you and it'll probably get buried anyway.

sometimes I read comments in this thread and wonder if we're living on the same planet

>>24941766
I am desperately trying to get truck'd to change this unfortunate reality.

>>24941766
That's just 4chan in general

>>24941763
Reviews with low amount of stars and lots of criticism unironically get the most upvotes in general. Try sorting them by upvotes and you'll see.

>>24941784
"It was poop, the mc didn't kill his mother. 0.5 stars" will get to the top. something that actually reviews the story and points out real floors will be on like page 6 if it's a decently long-running story

>>24941785
>real floors
lol, maybe I shouldn't start writing quite yet

>>24941785
Nope, I had a 1 star review on Veresavir and a 3 star on MLA and both got top page, and they were long a detailed (the Veresavir one was #1 when I deleted it)

>>24941785
>his story doesn't have fake floors
Shan't be reading

>>24941787
long *and detailed
I will also not start writing quite yet

one for the BPD demon fmc enjoyers
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/92058/leftover-apocalypse
hateful sociopathic bitches make fun protagonists

>>24941802
>Femslop
Gross

Yo , weekly chapter review-fag here.
Nothing much this week :
YotA had some awesome crafting chapters.
Loop of Oaths and Pacts is still trying to find its legs. Relegated to "it's mid but at least there are daily chapters" tier.
100 reigns gave us sex and threesomes and then the author said "but NO harem". Fuck that jazz , you'll get minus one star in the end.

>>24941802
>273 followers
>almost 3k pages
The reviews and follower/favorite ratio seem stellar, but damn

>>24941843
>it's mid
>daily chapters
almost like there's a connection here

>>24941802
>read the blurb
Seems shit, am I too picky?

>>24941843
>the author said "but NO harem".
Isn't the MC in exactly the position where they would realistically have a harem of concubines?

>>24941802
The cover alone communicates such depths of mental illness, I'm not even going to read the synopsis

>>24941847
seems like something a lot of people would bounce off of
the synopsis and the cover art are pretty ass and don't push forward the first appealing thing the story has to offer (the personality of the protag)
the writing is pretty tight so people who don't get filtered probably mostly really like it
they don't seem to have a patreon or anything so they probably just don't give a fuck
>>24941852
blurb is pretty ass
main elevator pitch is probably that the protag is a BPD psycho bitch who gets dropped into a fantasy world and starts ruthlessly psycho bitching her way into power and relevance. her personality develops to be more sympathetic and less of a ball of tard trauma, though I found that part interesting. plot heavy. pretty episodic with arcs and side plots
the world has enough /wbg/ tism to be interesting without shoving it down your throat 24/7. sometimes it gets a bit annoying with lore dump type stuff but idk some people are into that
there's a fun section where she reverse isekais and drags her other-world friends to earth. they get arrested by ICE because they have weird other world features and look like foreigners

>>24941864
That's not funny at all and Monty Python did it already in 1975.

>>24941889
it made me chuff and smile thoughbeit desu senpai

>>24941234
that is some top-notch writing skills...
I'm only into ch13 so far, but it has me captivated so far.

The problem I have with anti-hero / villainous stuff is I can't stomach it as soon as it turns into pure sadism, by the protag but also the author himself.
If the evil done loses it's tragic context to the story and becomes evil for the sake of evil, I drop it.

I wonder how far I'll get reading this tho...

But yeah there is definitely a huge audience out out there interested in this type of stuff, as Marquis de Sade proved centuries ago....

>>24941619
Recently switched to Claude from ChatGPT and can confirm. Oof, my pride. It gave good advice though. I hadn't realized how entirely off my first chapter was tonally. It convinced me to cut the first two chapters entirely and just start with the third which is the first really action beat and the first to hit all the tonal beats that will be recurring throughout the story. Much stronger start.

>>24942029
Making your first chapter reflect the overall tone and content of your entire story is some of the most basic advice that's repeated everyone including outside of web novel writing.
Why did you not implement the advice until some ai tells it to you?

>>24942053
Because this is my first time writing anything ever. I only started last month. I'm learning, cut me some slack.

>>24941950
> that is some top-notch writing skills...
> I'm only into ch13 so far, but it has me captivated so far.
I'm glad someone else can appreciate how high quality it is. I only discovered it recently but it might be the best series I've read this year and what's more, it had a genuinely villainous lead whose decisions make logical sense despite how evil they become.

>>24942086
I'm asking why you listen to a machine and not people?

>>24941711
I'm not a fan of the immense amount of commas and periods that feel like constantly disrupt the flow of the reading. I've actually never used AI assistance tools and I'm not sure if that's a result of you or the machine but I would definitely get rid of it.

For instance, that aforementioned sentenced I used was structurally correct and did not have any commas. If you wrote it though the sentence would probably be "I've actually never used AI assistance tools, and I'm not sure if that's a result of you or the machine, but I would definitely get rid of it." This is fine in certain circumstances but constantly is off-putting at least for me.

>>24942139
I write like this :(

>>24942139
>structurally correct
it's not lol, the comma prior to 'and' is necessary to be correct

>>24942146
ESL is messing me up then. I still think that the amount of pauses are unusually high even compared to other novels here but that could be a language barrier issue.

>>24942139
I don't know if this applies to writing/linguistics, but in mathematics, the logical equivalent to processing orders of operations (PEMDAS) implies that 'and' is processed before 'or'. Therefore, by not putting a comma before 'and', you're associating the "or the machine ..." to the whole of "I've actually ... result of you".

Food for thought.

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>>24942158

Em-dashes are so good for expressing myself while writing since they convey exactly how I think... Sad that they are immediately associated with AI use.

>>24942175
I don't associate it with AI unless it has other AI factors like being extremely wordy and simultaneously vague. I do associate it with autism though.

>>24942190
I might have autism, but I don't think so. I am likely schizoid though, and am also likely to have some attention deficit disorder. I think that's why em-dashes are so good; they can fit into the text as thoughts come to mind, and are more flexible than semicolons.

>>24942149
The comma before conjunction rule, in short, is that you use it if the lines would work as their own sentences without the conjunction.
>I've actually never used AI assistance tools. I'm not sure if that's a result of you or the machine, but I would definitely get rid of it
Works fine. The middle section obviously wouldn't stand alone as it has been written so the rule doesn't apply. It probably would apply if you rephrased it but it's not worth quibbling over.
>>24942175
I used em-dashes for a while, but I felt that they made me sound like a blogger, so I stopped.
Turns out they don't exist in UK English anyway; I'd've had to commit to fully writing in American English if I wanted to keep them.

>>24942125
As other anons have already discussed, it's impossible to find anyone to actually talk to about writing. Posting anything here is a waste of time as no one is willing to give actual advice. Other online spaces are similarly trash but for different reasons. So I resign myself to the only option that has no choice but to listen to me and give me advice whenever and on whatever topic I want.

>>24942208
if you only started last night how would you know

>>24942208
You could try the Immersive Ink discord. They have a channel for writing reviews. You'll get your grifters and such, but there's people willing to review for free; more likely so if you offer to review someone else's in exchange. It's only fair, no?

Isn't the AI advice poster the same attention-seeker who flits between every creative thread on the site?
They used to be in the fortnite general talking about making porn and ignoring all advice.

>>24942217
howie usually talks about how he's been useless for years, not a month ago
he has a copy paste he drops here and in /wg/

>>24942202
>Turns out they don't exist in UK English
wtf every british author has used the em dash for centuries. Do you think it's some kind of american invention? These threads are full of the most retarded claims imaginable

>>24942275
No, they haven't. The en dash exists in British English, but that's a different symbol with a different function (there is some crossover) and different stylistic conventions.
— – - is Em, En, Hyphen

>>24942291
it literally took me 3 seconds to walk to my shelf and find an example proving you wrong

David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
I did not attend the funeral in character, if I may venture to say so—I mean I was not dressed up in a black cloak and a streamer, to frighten the birds—but I walked over to [...]

there were 5 other em on that page alone
dumb retard. this is the most obviously false shit you could claim about english. em dashes are all over the entirety of the western literary tradition

>>24942291
This obscure yankee called William Shakespeare reportedly used the em dash in the1600s, dunno if you've heard about him

>>24942214
>Last night
I knew reading comprehension was bad here but God damn.

>>24942215
Yea I've seen that talked about here a few times. Might check it out after work.

>>24942316
last night was a month ago
freudian slip who knows
point stands that you probably don't know what you're talking about if you started so recently

>>24942304
> western literary tradition
yea, how about you learn more than one language before you project your anglo tard convention on everything else

>>24942311
>>24942304
Both are examples from before modern english was codified, Dickens also frequently has characters greet people by saying "Hallo", but you wouldn't use that now, would you?

>>24942320
the reply is about
>Turns out they (em dashes) don't exist in UK English anyway
my raging brown friend

>>24942325
>before modern english
>Dickens
...?
you seem like a pedantic, squirmy retard

>>24942319
>Last night was a month ago
>11th
Sure buddy. Anyway, yea I've spent a month lurking here and other places and have not been impressed. There's been a few gems but overall it doesn't seem worth it. There's either no response or a handful of people trying to be funny or get a rise out of others.