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"The Death of /wg/" Edition

Previous: >>25059976

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Discuss the written works below for practice; contribute, and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Shitposters should be ignored and reported.

Beginner guides on writing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk

Intermediate guides on writing:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48654.Story
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3097766-borges-on-writing
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23056.Image_Music_Text

Advanced guide on writing:
Just do it.

Theme: https://youtu.be/ifcV76TwjGI?si=F1C4D4f4iZuuzFMM
>>
I have 11 projects going on at once right now... but I've only started writing two. The other are just some early notes for ideas I had.
This is probably a bad way to work, right?
>>
>>25086508
not at all imagine finishing them all at once
>>
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>>25086508
>>
>>25086558
Yes that'll be a grand day once anon is in his 60s
>>
>>25086558
>>25086571
Well this one book I read about writing said not to discard any ideas for a story. At the very least, write them down. They may not all be good, and you may not finish or even really start them all, but it's still good to save them.
I have no idea if it's good advice, guess I'll find out.
>>
>>25086704
I'm a believer in "if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it was meant to be."
>>
https://pastebin.com/ysFEUziM
short story, looking for critique
>>
>>25086843
sorry, looking at this again i see that it isn't very good. also, "canere" means to sing, not to shine. whoops
>>
>>25086837
So you're saying to not write stuff down? And if the idea comes back to my mind later that means it's good?
>>
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>>25086843
absolutely awful
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>>25087030
Yeah, I don't start putting words to the page unless I'm consistently brainstorming the idea
>>
>>25087253
What about notes and thoughts? Do you not even write down the idea at all?
>>
what makes prose good?
>>
>>25087744
It flows and is clear to understand (cohesion and coherence). Each word is deliberate, progressing the readers knowledge about character, plot, or setting (ideally all three). It doesn't rely on common idioms or expressions, but rather describes something which may be common in a new perspective or way (i.e. it illicits an "I didn't think of it that way before" response).
>>
>>25087744
pacing
>>
>>25087749
>Each word is deliberate, progressing the readers knowledge about character, plot, or setting (ideally all three).
leaves quite a low aesthetic ceiling. ‘voice’ is another key aspect.
>>
>>25087731
Not unless I'm consistently brainstorming it. Like I said.
>>
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should i delete this and just end myself because I'm a hack of a writer?
>>
>>25087744
Quality
>>
>>25087744
not these
>>25087887
>>25086843
>>
>"No man will flay his own skin to save yours if he's not one of your own."

does this make sense?
>>
>>25088039
Get rid of "if he's not one of your own". Or write
No man would flay their own skin if it's not their own.
>>
>>25088151
>No man would flay their own skin if it's not their own.
lmfao wow much better
>>
>>25088039
Seems like it should be conditional
>No man would flay his own skin to save yours if he weren't one of your own.

>>25088151
idiot lol
>>
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im definetly killing myself. cant even read anymore all i do is i read the dictionary because comfort?
>>
it needs restructuring
>Only a man who considers you his brother would flay his own skin to save yours.
For example
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>>25088296
jeeesus
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>>25088296
That's the best one
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>>25088296
oh putain
>>
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Appreciate the feedback I got a few threads ago. I've touched up the opening to my sci-fi dystopia novella since then. Here's the opening plus the second page. Looking for feedback on how you might tackle this opening differently. Or just call it out for being clunky or boring. Anything helps. Really I just want to know if this has a good enough hook or not so far.
>>
>>25088307
>>25088520
>>25088915
i don't understand these reactions
>>
I hate myself bros. I have a million things I need to work on but I just procrastinate
>>
Stephen King: On Writing, chomsky. Don't do your writing where you game or goon. Prepare a separate space, in your own office if possible. A location set aside just for writing will do you wonders. Remember, don't open other tabs! Good luck.
>>
>>25087887
>woglinde
Stopped reading right there
>>
>>25089072
You should continue
>>
/wg/ can’t die. Where will I go to be crabbed if it does?
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>>25087902
PYW
>>
Yes it can. We're all sick of your shit faggot.
>>
Ƒuck you, nigger.
>>
>>25089010
It makes perfect sense that this general's posters are terrible at written communication
>>
>>25089033
Ah yes this advice from a literal billionaire will be much help to me (underemployed and near-broke)
>>
https://pastebin.com/2yAu1DW6
got around to writing some more
the first scene with an extended amount of dialogue, I'm not sure how well it all flows though, especially the first paragraph feels rough
>>
Could I ask for feedback on a piece of fanfiction I am writing?

Throughout highschool and college I scraped through any class that involved writing. The fact that I didn't like reading back then didn't help either. But over the past year, I've fallen in love with fanfiction, and it led me to start learning how to write.

I can look back to where I started and see that I've improved. But at this point, I think I need actual feedback and constructive criticism.
>>
>>25090271
>“‘Uncle Grey’?” chimed in Appius. “I didn’t know you had any children, Grey.”
Do you not know what an uncle is? Appius could remark “I thought you were an only child.”
I struggled to stick with it through the first paragraph but I’ll say it ended better than how it started. It’s a perfectly fine first draft, but when you revise you need to ask yourself “what’s the point?”
Your first paragrph’s point seems to be establishing your main character is an autistic faggot who suffers a panic attack by being in a crowd. A crowd which you go to great lengths to describe before really introducing the reader to the autistic faggot. This leaves me with no real interest in him since the story isn’t interested in him.
I would advise flipping the focus. Don’t start with the crowd. Start with him and his mission (need to meet military contact). Give me some sense of how he feels about this (excited to have a big job? curious why the military picked him? Fearful he’s not a military man. Frustrated they gave him retardedly vague instructions of who to meet and where? That doesn’t seem military like.)
Instead autistic faggot just drifts from his panic attack into a conversation with a stranger under the moronic assumption that the first stranger he meets must be the military contact? And also he’s a very pretty young man.
I assume this is leading to porn. If not, radically reconsider this opening.
>>
>>25090097
Take it as the advice from a guy who wrote 100+ books you autistic spaz!
>>
>>25090352
oh god your right, sorry I definitely meant only child
and the scene is part of an ongoing story, the scene prior was a boat trip with a lot of his introspection so I thought a nice bit of external focus to give an idea of the new setting would be good before returning to the character
and it's part of the intro to a romance story, so I think the focus is appropriate
thanks for the catch about what Uncle means lol, easy brain fart
>>
chapter 17 done. now onto chapter 18



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