(continued from >>25533513)Then suddenly he had a brilliant insight.
full story so far https://litter.catbox.moe/ival12oby4xatg4m.pdf
Why not love girlchildren all the time?
Little girls fit easily inside the fridge,
Possibly even four or five, generously. However,
Peter whispered: "Cunny… light of my life
...fire of my groins ... freakin'... sweet..." He
performed exorcism on himself, revealing his true
lolicon nature. He was the very antithesis
of synthesis with parenthesis to hypothesis of
sin, his tongue tapping on frozen teeth
(a delicacy Peter discovered while abroad in
the Baltic coastal forests and heathlands, as
travelling troubadour, with his deformed clubfoot which
drew in crowds simultaneously enchanted and repulsed
). "Peter! I'm your mother. How dare you?"
"It is YOU!" he said. You are
"Quiet! Let me enjoy my cumshit sandwich."
"But mom, you already had five. LOUIS!"
(But honestly, I reject bigotry and hatred.)
Louis was folding Stevie into the laundry
"It's not laundry anymore if being folded."
"Shut the fuck up, Stevie" Louis scolded
Cut to Charles Bukowski in a bar.
"It's me, Charles Bukowski" said Charles Bukowski
I'm in a bar, isn't that something.
DFW and Pynchon walk into the bar
>>25537643"Around here we don't really care for
Indians" says the bartender. DFW looks around
One Indian guy stand up and leaves.
Poor guy. David Foster Wallace whispered quietly.
"What do you mean?" asked Pynchon, homosexually.
"He had literally no money." DFW said.
"Zay! paww nigger awtisss!" Sheri Martinelli squeaked.
"Shut up whore I'm drumnk" Bukowski said.
if young metro dont trust you im
gonna done get bit by a snake.
Together they mourned Dostoyevsky and Voronov, fellow
>>25536606
Monger of oobs. "oob oob" he quoth,
"Ooh Bee Shoo Bee Doo Koo Shoo
Everybody began to sing along. "Ooooh Bee
>>25537784one kenobi having sex with darth vader
and Yoda in a hot sensual ménage
à huit with a group of geriatrics
Pynchon slapped his belly to the beat
"But What about ol' Scuddles?" Inquired Scuddles
who was NOT dead and will never
>>25537854Ohh you. Said Bukowskoyevsky. Giggling drunkenly while
twin bitches hoppin off the jet skis
*splash* *splash* *splash* *splash* *splash* *splash* *splash*
*flush* And so Scuddles' pristinely molded turds
were alchemically transmutated into gold. Wario sex
sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
Change Clinic, a subdivision of Warioware Inc
proudly announces its brand new partnership with
Mc Donaldingo Burgers Corp Land Clinic Division
Suddenly the TV screen turned pitch black.
Reflected, an unkempt fat slob stared blankly
Blacker than your absent father. Blacker than
Vantablack. And that's a pretty black black.
black white white white chess logic in
thousands of pixels of grainy image distortion.
Scuddles wondered how to spend his gold
"well shit, how will i spend my
vast collection of memes?" Quipped the redditor.
Twitter entered the room, his penis erect.
Locking eyes, they began the fusion maneuver.
It quickly
>>25537731
deteriorated into a bumbling mess
counting is hard but my dick is
harder, as my 6th grade math teacher
used to say. But you can always
smell indians from quite far away. thus
it should come as no surprise that
thousands of Indians are converging on this
international farting competition taking place in Atlanta
where all the world's top flatulators gather
timmy mad timmy mad timmy mad timmy
*gay voice* Causeeeee liiiiiiiiike... yeah so liiiiiiiiike...?
shut up i fuck your rules pussy
pathetic thread, you wouldnt do shit irl
cause like you're liiiiiiiiiiike... liiiiiiiiike yeahhhhhh sooooooooooo...
>>25538309>>25538315and yet you still are bound by OP's word limit, curious
The stadium was filled with retarded conversations
since free tickets had been given to
everybody in the world. It was the
second biggest gay orgy in Florida today.
In the locker room, Scuddles prepared his
....... Suddenly, Scuddles awoke, "No more footy telly."
Scuddles knew that its not ogre yet
because today was THE BIG FARTING COMPETITION
All the local niggers grouped up prepared
"bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk!" bellowed Friedrich Wilhelm Joseph von Schelling
to outfart the local Klu Klux Klan
They ate nothing but watermelons and KFC
but for this competition they only ate
rotten eggs and fermented milk to ensure
their jenkem was of the finest quality
. Jury consisted of Whoopie Goldberg, Elon Musk,
and that one guy from that one
short porno flick where he shoved his
And of course Joyce, the fart conesseouir
>>25538538>(I fucked up and didn't refresh the thread)
>>25538536ben0rz in the ground, Mondo Cane style
>order suggestion>>25538536>>25538552>>25538538Scuddles knew it would not be easy
he knew it would be very hard
like his uncles penis that one Christmas
I’ve no uncle but I wanted that.
Bob's your uncle, innit? One bob. Cheerio.
Bob the builder was in fact his
rapist. Scuddles was never the same again
"Pardon my fancy prose", Peter told Joyce.
"Begin again, Finnegan," said Joyce, loftily. Gayboys
haunted that summer princedom by the sea
of shit. Feacal theme of this story
insulted the delicate, fancy prose of Peter
who sought only the highest degrees of
volumetric elegance among his petite female companions.
Peter knew these are his last hours
he decided to use them wisely by
polishing his fancy prose for the jury.
How to start? He pondered deeply. Maybe
prose is a euphemism for his penis
and his penis is actually prehistoric mammal
Nature... finds a way. One must imagine
his nerves before the big farting competition
it's cliche to say that but he
gardens uphill, he's a friend of Dorothy,
he won the farting competition with ease
at the Mineshaft and the Anvil, when
are we mentioning Indians again? I cant
make analytic a priori judgements... can I?
Pete thought to himself, while his rectum
had already arrived at a conclusion. Ranjeet
clung for life as Peter defecated him
It reminded him of home, where his
father's body lay embalmed in the bathtub
smelling of curry and domestic violence, designated
shitting streets for designated shitting jeets. "GET
REDEEMED OR DIE TRYING" said graffiti painted
"But I was told not to redeem?"
"Real eyes realise real lies" said Reddit cringelord
but anons math was way off, luckily
here at /lit/ everybody has a dyscalculia
except for me, the samefag writing this
i count my blessings everyday, hallelujah brothers,
Peter's handlers, exceedingly embarrassed, rush Ranjeet to
Boston, Massachusetts. Peter sobbing over Ranjeets body
but like the flower he rose again
"I don get paid enough for dis
" said the Janny reading through the thread
"NEED MORE HOTPOCKETS!" Then suddenly, Palpatine returned....
... Just to be killed by Mace Winjew.
Daquarius, Peter's Afro-American handler, gasped in amazement
Winjew, the Jewish Jedi Rabbi, looked upon
himself, he fully merged with the fabric
The goy's coins, glittering in his
Eyes, smell of money in his nostrils
or was that his nickel scented cologne?
"must die billions" added then Rabbi Jewyoda
This story again? Thought Peter in anguish
Peter suddenly grew pair of ugly tits
Peepee poopoo so funny. Explained flowering Ranjeet
Every cell of his body stinking of
>>25538124
sacked Troy. Burning bodies, rape and pilage
Seeing Peter, he grinned a devilish grin
found designated shitting street and did one
Ranjeet had just nine words to say:
"Shit, poop, feacal matter, crap, stool, dung..
beetle boy." His accursed past nickname redounded
The taste of summer jam was unforgettable
he said, forgetting its taste just moments
after, he was a strangle smelly fellow
not doing any strangling himself, just smelling.
Now he was ready to fart BIGLY
but forgot how. Panic set in and
as he saw the reigning fart champion
his inner turmoil or the lack thereof
became all he could think about. Not
farting equals active dying, he proclaimed grimly
To fart or not to fart, that
much was clear but the logistic chain
was all bunged up so to speak
stuck inside the subconscious intestinal tract. Eventually,
he downed five creatine scoops and waited
for Epstein to arrive, who was alive.
Alive he was, but he also had
to shave his nuts! Anyway, there was
an Indian who proceeded to shit violently
kept in a cage for Epstein’s amusement
"saaaaar free me ples" cried the Indian
and his expressive defecation didnt undermine his
laughable and pitiful demeanor, what an ugly
creature the Indian was. Reminiscent of a
dung beetle without the requisite positive characteristics
- artistically gifted at shitting, though, and through
their hyper reproducing tempo, truly awful and
wubba lubba dubb dub aha haha hah
redolent of spices, they bedunged the world
and entwined their odour with healthy society
just an awful, awful, awful, irredeemable race
>>25539382said Epstein, who was alive, and evil.
Hitler was good, he rear-naked choked Epstein
or attempted to, goyishly, but Epstein countered
while the Indian attempted to redeem himself
"Saaaaar please am Brahmin" the Indian pleaded
why you so mad timmy get a
clue," the redditor interjected. Nobody paid attention.
except for the guy who replied to
The Indian then proceeded to spontaneously explode
>>25538928
the stadium now truly a gas chamber
and that's good. Gas chambers are good.
Hitler and Scuddles, together and embraced, appeared
to be having a gay old time
Suddenly, the Indian reconstituted himself with
yogic determination. He was now 8' tall
with a jutting stainless-steel chin and enormous
gaping vagina oozing with the secretions of
Kali. In a resounding basso profundo voice
he belted a tune on vaginal-yeast bread.
"OH, SAAAAR. FROM NEAR OR FAAAAR YOU
>>25540067BUY GIFT CAAAAARD,BLOODY BASTAAAARD." This continued
for over half an hour. He was
surfing the vulvovaginitic Kali Yuga, mangina munting
He tore down the Magna Carta and
replaced it with a Peter poster. He
decided to become a Buddhist. He decided
to become a Muslim Buddhist. He decided
to become a Catholic Buddhist. He decided
to fill his vagina with Virgin Mary
. "In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus
Santi, et satanus suckus my ligmus, amen.
Vagina, pussy, cunt, a hole, that's what
P.S. kill my mom please God thanks."
Anons mother died in sleep and was
cremated the next day, surrounded by her
family members discussing the international farting competition.
The blazing inferno of her cremation pile
reminded him; reneged on his Buddhist vow,
he decided to train for the competition.
to renounce masturbation, as he had just
came last time over his mother body
and the cum arced through the air
majestically covering the Buddhist priest with sperm
He stuffed bespermed mother inside his rectum
the proceeded to brakedance joyfully so that
his rotten joints collapsed upon the floor.
Awakening to the stench of ash, cum
hardened on Buddhist face, what the fuck
did Peter whisper, watching the child vanish,
Is that Rocco Siffredi over there? Wow,
how cool is that dude? I love
the smell of jamboy in the morning
Not so much in the evening, though
my sugar, my honey, my tender lover
BROUGHT TO YOU BY BANK OF AMERICA®
Scuddles had unpaid debt of 8 shelongs
which was his farting competition victory motivation
he never cared about fartlord legacy, what
he cared about was the Industrial Revolution
and its consequences being a disaster to
ribald bum bandits and other assorted buccaneers
which caused Marx to reevaluate labour theory
and Thatcher to reevaluate unproductive coal mines
Peggy had a crush on Marx, she
as in she literally crushed his legacy
his ballsack and burned his Jewish beard
so his tender face’d eat her coney
while stately Peter bore the shaving bowl.
"None of this happened" said shaving bowl
to mock the horror of the room.
Everybody froze for a second, there was
Adolf Diddler swaggered through the open door
and blessed the waking land with foam.
Diddler reminded everybody of someone, but they
saw his yellow robe sustained on high.
—Introibo ad altare Dei, lætificans iuventutem meam!
"What's the yellow robe's significance?" asked Scuddles.
"Come up, you fearful cripple!" Diddler cried
"Not before you explain the robe," Scuddles
demanded, while the priest approached the stone.
"It's piss stained." Diddler responded calmly to
the Saxon, blessing thrice the barren stone.
The stone then came alive and said
"You killed your mother in her bed!"
Know what? Enough of this. FINNEGANS, WAKE!
>>25540881"Wake, finnegans, wake!" Said shaving bowl
while Stevie leaned upon the granite stair
"I'm what?" asked startled Harry Bombadill Kenobi
"Begin again, Finnegan," read the first line
"Yer an Irish drunkard," said Buck Hagriddian.
Yet Stevie walked alone beside the bay.
"When's Crime and Punishment: 2 coming out?"
Bespoke thus Chinese Hitler, "Jude raus, shnella"
and shut the door against another crime
of some grim man on man violence.
He raised the bowl to mock Ranjeet.
How Genetian, whip whip! Lashes on asses.
"I'm not arrogant," she said, I thought.
"Behold, my gents, and shut your eyes!"
"And watch the ancient magic rise!"
Scuddles felt rightfully confused as his story
was answered by a whistle from above
What's up guys I'm the narrator AMA.
"Did Mother make you eat the soap?"
Fuck you, ask me something else please.
What genre is this, oh Mr. narrator?
"Just explain the plot," asked the audience.
"A Greek burlesque!" the yellow priest replied
The genre is Cocksucking: A User's Manual.
There is none, I'm the plot destroyer.
A virgin wrote the preface, I presume
That's not really a question is it?
How long will Scuddles linger here today?
Suddenly, India and all Indians were destroyed
Longer than anyone here would like unfortunately.
Narrator was hospitalized after his urethra was
cauterized in a sounding experiment with Diana
Princess Diana was actually alive and well
She'd just opened an onlyfans in Dubai
behold the mighty mother of us all
Jungian archetype of chtonic immortal mother goddess
Ask Doctor Jung to pay the rent
He rented Freuds goon room where he
>>25539577
>>25541110
kept his goons. Jung found goons charming.
NEW THREAD >>25541146
Thank the DeltaGODS
