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First for best duo!

>>41023616
Disgusting dykeshit

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Actual first for Flutters being cute.

>>41023642
That is rather cute.

>>41023642
This is lewd.

>>41023667
>>41023670
The duality of mare.

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>>41023621
It's beautiful marelove.

>>41023667
>>41023670
Things can be cute and lewd.
Post cute and lewd fics.

>>41023679
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/500819/shining-armors-isekai-adventure-but-from-celestias-point-of-view-and-skipping-a-lot-because-thats-how-these-things-seem-to-go-in-light-novels-so-thats-how-it-goes-here-also-shining-is-a-cuck-but-not-really-and-is-this-even-shining-im-not-sure

>>41023681
I'm 80% sure that one goes way beyond lewd.

>>41023612
Huh, not only do I have the book club story on my read later list I've also already read the first chapter. I guess I must've read the first chapter back when it was releasing, thought it looked neat, stuck it in read later, and just forgot about it for 3 years.
Someday I need to go through and sort out all the completed and dead stories into their own bookshelves.

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>>41023703
If you only read the first chapter, you may also have dropped it. I put in my review that the first chapter is not even remotely similar to the rest of the story, and is quite bad.

>>41023681
You’ve been shilling that fic for 2 3/4 years now.

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>>41023621
This
Tunafag, kys

What made you finish DoWaS?

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>>41023877
Pleasure from reading DoWaS.
Love for the characters and the desire to know what happened next for them.

>>41023877
The interesting world and enjoyable characters. I also really liked how it showed different races perspectives on the sister's revolt. I loved reading about how utterly flabbergasted the dogs and griffons were that a pony could not only disobey but actively fight back and how quickly they shift to fear and panic once they realize what a monster an unshackled pony could be. Really gave a great "rise of the machines" vibe to things despite being about talking magic horses.

>>41023906
I'll tell you once I start it.

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> A World Without Kindness by billymorph
I felt like going the “random grim derp stories” routine and decided to read this fic.
While it’s only 15k in length, it does manage to paint a more or less decent picture of misery that has extended over the land and how it affected all the characters in the story.

The main thing that really annoyed me with the story was suggesting that all of this happen due to Pinkie not getting to sing her song, and in turn forcing them to take a longer way around to the castle, in turn giving enough time to NM to mobilize army and creating this long drawn war.
I would strongly prefer if the story somehow incorporated how all six of the element bearers had failed to degree at their task on the way to the old castle, not sure how the cliff fall with Twi would look like in such version but I still think it would had a stronger impact if all of them had failed to some degree at that moment and not kind-of-retroactively during/after the war.

I find it bit adorable that Scoots decided to became Shy fangirl, I guess the “betray” of Dash playing for the other team made her cheer for their best hunter.
Also I may read this wrong but I think Ponka was the only character not turned into the nightmare version of herself in the Dusk army?
The moment with Fluttershy realizing the 6 elements = 6 ponies was pretty neat

I do enjoy how at the end not everything was just swiped under the carped with character acting like it's all hunky-dory with each other from now on. But at the same time I would love to see how this version of characters would interact with each other in future stories (I would imagine, with their whole world being much more militarized than in OG setting, most of the villains and antagonist would not end up with just simple slap on a hoof).

>>41024179
Can I criticize a criticism?
Proofread your shit before posting

>>41023621
fpbp

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It's like a competition to see who has the most diarrhea.

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>>41024495
Ok

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>>41024692
That's not a very good duo. Here's a reference for an ideal duo.

>>41024692
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/359157/the-eye-that-floats-silent-and-unblinking-in-sunset-shimmers-kitchen

>>41024495
Runic TreeSLOPS
>>41024692
I'll dub that eyeball Sam. If you get it, you get it

>>41023621
>Cozyfag's return
>Wasp debate
>TMA ate a thread
Christ, I hope that doesn't mean Pippfag's coming back.

>>41024495
t. Runic

How much longer until AI finally gets rid of the bottom of the barrel trash like RunicTreetops, porn, and shipping?

>>41024958
Never. Ai will always be soulless slop and retards on fimfic will never stop making soulless slop either until they die.

>>41024958
Are you retarded?
It's gonna compound the problem. For every nigger writing those fics, there are dozens if not hundreds of people that read that shit but don't have the skill or time to write it themselves.
Enable those people to generate fics and suddenly the site is flooded with garbage.

>>41025114
Not him but I doubt this. You could open any highly ranked AiE from a new author to see that skill isn't an issue. It's just that most people want to consume content without spending time on creating more of it.
Hell, even today you could feasibly use AI to ghostwrite for you with minimal editing and I think you'd end up surfing in the featured box all day.

>>41025150
My bad, poor wording. When I say "skill", that includes to me the ability to see a project like that through to the end. The ability to get yourself to write is part of your skill as a writer.

>>41024958
There was a post a while ago about this >>40971701.
I don't think that's the same anon, but I'm also still 95% convinced that >>41021394 uses it.
The problem is that it used the worst model for that.

>>41025158
>implying HiE fics actually get completed
You and I both know those people just shit 3-5 chapters before realizing making an actual plot is hard and they lose interest.

>>41025232
Precisely. However, even writing 3-5 chapters is above most people's ability.
In other words, HiE fics are shit, but if you lower the bar further, you'd get even more of them.

>>41025232
Most HIE in the sin-bin are one-shots.

>>41025237
>>41025241
Both good points. Its a good thing all these chatbots have proven to have no economic use case. I wonder how long tech companies are going to keep throwing money at them before they all go the way of google glasses and the metaverse.

>>41025250
>I wonder how long tech companies are going to keep throwing money at them
At least as long as you can wring money from gullible venture capitalists. There's so much news about how some company's "AI" was actually just a bunch of pajeets or that they sold their product as something having to do with AI only to actually be just your run of the mill ML stuff.

>>41025368
>There's so much news about how some company's "AI" was actually just a bunch of pajeets.
Kek. Can you link some?

>>41024958
i feel like there's a surge of porn writers in the last year or so. my feature box is plagued with them all the time

>>41025386
Take the sandbox pill and enable the M-filter. Nothing of value gets lost.

>>41025383
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MUEXGaxFDA
The whole video is pretty good, but specifically the chapter called "AI is not free" talks about this.
>https://www.goingconcern.com/when-ai-stands-for-actually-indians/
But if a video isn't to your fancy, there was that whole drama about Amazon's "just walk out" thing being not actually driven by AI, but a bunch of indians who watched people on cameras and manually tagged items. A lot of AI stuff was either built on the backs of exploiting random schmucks through Mechanical Turk (ImageNet) or are still using it.
>https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/03/technology/cruise-general-motors-self-driving-cars.html
GM's Cruise cars are actually assisted by a bunch of human operators (and still ended up pasting more than one pedestrians).

Frankly, while I don't think artists and programmers and whatnot are going to disappear (as some doomers like to think), I still find current AI as a whole a largely off-putting and disruptive thing and I hope the hype train will die down soon enough.

>>41025407
>programmers and whatnot are going to disappear
Just the junior ones. Ironically, as a junior programmer pivoting into the AI yourself is a very tempting career choice.

>>41025423
>Just the junior ones.
Maybe I'm huffing hopium, but I don't even think that. I mean, surely a lot of pencil pushing jobs might become automated, but junior programmers aren't only for that. Mediors and seniors need to be replaced eventually as they age out of their jobs.

>>41025434
>>41025423
>>41025407
AI will nuke the bottom-feeders like
>electron
>webdev
>electron webdev
It won't do anything that isn't already being done to actually competent programmers. They will persevere or be destroyed regardless of presence of AI, because they're already being genocided by the effective management hiring pajeets instead because they're cheapest (and then having everything crash and burn as expected).
>Mediors and seniors need to be replaced eventually as they age out of their jobs.
Do you think people who replace jobs with AI think about future prospects? hint: no they fucking don't they will gladly fire all their seniors and be left by the broken trough and will never understand that it was all. their. fault.

>>41025438
>AI will nuke the bottom-feeders like
>>electron
Really, it'd be a blessing if electron as a whole got canned, not just its devs. As a penguinfag I've had more issues with it than with anything else.
>Do you think people who replace jobs with AI think about future prospects?
Obviously not, but that's part of the point I was trying to make. I don't think junior devs will disappear because the market will correct itself once these shitty startups and the hype die.

So apparently, today is World Book Day.
In light of this, what did you read/going to read, anons?

>>41025479
Dune, probably.

>>41025479
Bold of you to assume I can read

>>41025497
Do you have a little slave boy transcribing your post for you or something?

>>41025540
I'm psychic. I'm guessing what you mean based off of the vibes of your symbols.

>>41025573
Fics for this vibe?

>>41025644
Concentrate and I'll tell you some telepathically.

>>41025648
Kill yourself faggot I’m not reading Shining’s isekai

>>41025648
But I've already read that

>>41025479
With it being St George's day too, something where Spike dies

>>41025899
That one Hard Reset sequel. ^:)

Horsewords. Words about horses.

>>41026341
Post-holer. Digging holes for posts.

>>41023970
>>41023906
Yeah, if there's a strength in DoWaS, it's the characters. I don't get much enjoyment from reading it, but everything you see follows very cleanly from what each character knows and wants.

>>41025438
Behold me. I am a DBA.

I finished a cute story with Spike and Rarity:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/556112/ponies-dont-lay-eggs

Despite being my favourite pony, I've never seriously written Rarity until now. Please tell me what you think of my portrayal, if you care to read it at all. This story is dialogue heavy compared to what I prefer, but it's also more of a story, some would say, I suppose.

>>41027088
>He didn’t mind hot pie
Depending on the pie, it may need to cool before the filling sets. Right after coming out of the oven, the filling may still be liquid, and if you don't let it cool, then when you cut into the pie, the filling will spill out. But this depends on the pie. An apple pie filled mostly with apple slices can be sliced pretty much right away, but one where the apples have been pulped (like applesauce) will need some time.
>Carousal
Carousel. "Carousal" is actually a word but not the one you want here. At least, probably not. Who knows what Rarity is doing back there?
>she had an egg shape hanging down between her legs
You can't write about anything other than your fetish, can you?
>focussed
focused

>>41027088
>>41027233
>cucking Spike just to write your fetish
Based

>>41027088
>it's also more of a story, some would say, I suppose
There's no conflict and no character development. This is your story: Spike bakes pie; Spike eats pie with Rarity; Rarity tells Spike about pony pregnancies; Sweetie Belle arrives and eats pie; Spike and Rarity say goodbye; Rarity arranges for Spike to chaperone the CMCs later. Things happen, but there's never any tension. Your characterization is fine, but the characters don't develop. This is pretty common for slice-of-life stories, and they can still be entertaining despite this. But it seems to me that this is less of a story, not more.

>>41027334
>But it seems to me that this is less of a story, not more.
Have you read his other stories? (I haven't, I'm just asking)

>>41027233
>Depending on the pie, it may need to cool before the filling sets.
Good point, but it's more to emphasize his dragon nature, the same as him crawling into the oven a little.

>Carousel
Fuck. Thank you. I copied it from an early draft of another story, and I really need to correct the error there if I'm going to keep using it for that.

>You can't write about anything other than your fetish, can you?
This in particular was a trade. The artist with whom I'm trading asked for this story. My first story with Rarity contains no pregnancy, but it's basically something that should be in Flutterrape.

>focused
That's the British spelling.

So, thank you, but what about the characterizations? Did I do well there, in your view?

>>41027235
The artist wanted them to be friends, not lovers, although I'm very glad he wanted that.

>>41027334
>This is pretty common for slice-of-life stories, and they can still be entertaining despite this. But it seems to me that this is less of a story, not more.
I just meant the story's more for one head than another.

Thank you for your thoughts.

Any updates on that Fallout Equestria audiobook's super special character voices edition?

>>41025479
I'm halfway through The Big Short. It's the first time I've actually read a book that actually nearly perfectly lines up with the movie that was based on it.

>>41027088
>it's a "preganon tries to disguise his fetish as SoL" fic

>>41027334
>Things happen, but there's never any tension
Pretty much the definition of SoL. The whole point of the genre is comfiness, not suspense. The quintessential SoL fic is "this is what the characters do when the camera's not on." If there was tension and character development and plot, then the camera would be on.

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>>41024862
Haha, yes, I return!
Very happy that rekindled fagshit is over, so sad that one of the larger adventurer stories recently had to be dykeshit. Unfortunately, the fagshit FoE influence fallout TV show in many ways I think, this is not a schizo connection. And >>41025904 FUCK, I STILL hate the hard reset sequel where it becomes HOMOSEX. So sad to see kino or potential kino become faggified, I cannot enjoy it. G5 is a lessening, FUCKING SHIT GARBAGE, a fagshitification in a certain, symbolic way, perhaps. I am writing a fic to unfaggify it.

>>41027802
>I am writing a fic to unfaggify it.
Every couple shown in G5 has been completely heterosexual...
The gays have been living rent free in your head so long I think they've officially claimed it through squatter's rights.

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>>41027802
>FUCK, I STILL hate the hard reset sequel where it becomes HOMOSEX.
>sequel

>>41027941
No, Early batfics were kino, and there’s still good bat fics here and there. but at some point they became ideologically captured by faggots and their characterization went down the drain.

>>41028179
Ideologically captured? In what way? I haven't been reading any modern bat fics. Other than the one I wrote.

>>41027941
No, but your picture is

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Are there any fics where anon being a caricature of the average behavior of posters on /mlp/ or 4chan is taken literally? Ie. He’s not just a regular person that behaves like that, but instead is some unholy manufactured being whose consciousness was crafted based on /mlp/ posts? Or that he’s an amalgamation of the minds of every poster on /mlp/ melded into one and shoved into the same body? Or something like twitch plays pokemon where you have 10,000 autistic spergs trying to pilot an anon body that’s been dropped to equestria?

>>41028515
Kind of this I guess
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/526320/velvet-and-you
It comes with quite the glowing endorsement from one fimfic commenter!
>"Reading this gave me the same kind of adrenaline rush and tense anticipation that I had the first time I had sex."

>>41028545
>Unnamed (auto named in on publish)
Is that what chapters actually default to is you don’t name them? Because if so I’ve never seen that before.

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slow day, huh?

>>41029043
Totally too busy writing.
Yup.

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>>41029064
I'll have you know I actually wrote some words today. Not many, and I'm not even sure if this fic will see the light of day, but it feels nice to make progress.

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Thoughts on minimalist covers?

>>41029452
Minimalism sucks wrinkly ballsack.

>>41029466
So do you.

>>41029471
Nah, just nice cute ones, and in a very non gay manner I might add.

>>41029452
Minimalism is great and filters out the country bumpkins.

>>41029452
If that's minimalist, why is it so messy?

>>41029519
Messy how? There's only so much I can simplify before it becomes nothing more than text on a blank background.

>>41029480
>crying after a fic is gay
>says a literal fucking cocksucker
You have zero legitimacy as a poster, you know that?

>>41029697
There's being into dudes, bisexual, gay, whatever, and then there's being an absolute monumental fucking rainbow prancing faggot.
But what that's got to do with legitimacy in posting I've no clue, you sound mad.

>>41029701
I might shed a manly tear if a piece of fiction moves me enough
You literally gargle with cum, and yet, somehow, you're the less gay.
You're retarded, flagfag, even if ironic

>>41029701
>there's being gay, and then there's being gay.
No, it's just being gay.

>>41028545
I appreciated this suggestion. I like the writing style even if it gets a tad repetitive.
Also, I’m surprised no one else has sperged out about it being HiE. I guess that anon is asleep.

I'm debating whether to do an in media res first chapter of the Archmage biography, showing him fighting his way to the throne room to begin the big climatic confrontation with Celestia.

On the one hand, it would potentially hook in more readers to stick around for the next five chapters of his childhood, which otherwise will likely filter out 90% of the people reading. On the other, it doesn't strike me as something a "scholarly" biography would really do and the driving thesis of the whole thing is it's an in-universe book that wouldn't do a gimmicky thing to attract readers, since its intended readerbase are huge unicorn nerds like Twilight who'd read it, regardless of whether it had a bait chapter at the start.

>>41028179
>they became ideologically captured by faggots
What? Bat fics life on the "mango to obsessive Lunar cult" spectrum. Faggotry barely registers most of the time.

>>41028726
No, something must have gotten messed up. I'm pretty sure the default is "Chapter 1, Chapter 2, etc."

>>41029452
Pretty shit cover art. Doesn't help me paint a good mental picture of the story at all. Looks like a corporate logo from a low budget sci fi show that takes place five years in the future.

>>41027088
>Please tell me what you think of my portrayal
It was good. Rarity is my favorite too and I find her a little intimidating to write because of that, lel.

The other characters were also great. Sweetie provided some good comic relief. As lovely as Rarity was, Sweetie was my favorite here. The only real quibble I have with Rarity was when she thought about hitting Sweetie with the pie cutter. Rarity isn't above the occasional violence, but I don't think she'd ever hit a filly, especially not her sister (I can't think of any instances from the show where she did.) Maybe the hormones were starting to get to Rarity a little there, lel.

The beginning, by which I mean everything until Spike meets Rarity, is rough. You should have either rewritten it or cut it.

Right away, the first line is sloppy:
>The sand of the hourglass finished piling to the bottom, letting Spike know that his pie was finished baking.

Unless this style is intentional, you could have written this more directly; getting rid of the two words ending in 'ing' would've helped:

>The sand was at the bottom of the hourglass, and Spike knew his pie was finished baking.

The whole story, at least near the beginning, is full of needless words that drag your prose down, and you have a slightly nervous writing style in general–one that isn’t present later on when everyone is eating in the kitchen. There, the writing is snappy, direct. It gets the job done and is fun to read too.

I get that this fic was part of a trade, so maybe you were trying to inflate your word count to meet some agreed upon number. If that's the case, then fine. I'm just saying that, in some spots, I think that a rewrite would have helped your story.

Still, you write scenes of characters talking really well. Once Spike and Rarity started eating and talking, I was along for the ride. And I don't agree with the other Anon that criticized your story. The story here is about Spike feeling left out of Rarity's new life, and how, after a little generosity and thoughtfulness, he finds a way to feel included in it again. It's not super exciting stuff, but it is a story. I got it right away, and I liked it.

Good job, Kassaz. I don't have a preg fetish, but I’d gladly read more stuff by you that’s light on the fetish, like this one was. Actually, the only reason I started lurking here is because I liked your crotchsniffing story, lel. That story’s hilarious. I found it on the board, since I don’t use my Fimfic account very much.
>>41027352
Wew, lad! I love Flutterrape!

>>41028545
I take it back. My smile slowly shifted into a frown as I realized that there were several hundred words of descriptive asshole fingering. Nigga, that’s where doodoo feces comes out. Well written, though.

>>41029899
>it's an in-universe book that wouldn't do a gimmicky thing to attract readers
I'm a bit rusty on all the stuff you've said about Archmage, so I hope I won't say something really stupid, but one solution might be to have the first chapter be a different book / medium.
Maybe have Twiggles read some shallow history book about the mage or listen to a history class and got pissed that the only thing ponies ever learn about is one (admittedly pivotal) point of this character's life, while the rest is hidden in ignorance. Leading her to seek out and find the biography and thus tying into the main plot.

>>41029452
IMO the line going through the V looks bad and throws off the "cleanness" of the rest of the design. The rest looks fine, but 1) I'd suggest upscaling the whole thing. It looks kind of ass that you can count the pixels. 2) While this is a neat logo, it doesn't really strike me as a cover art. Maybe placing something under the text to make it more rectangular could work. Basically, if I saw this on the frontpage as a 90x90 thumbnail, I wouldn't think to click on it because it'd be so hard to parse.

>>41029697
Lol, you're a faggot

>>41027688
>>it's a "preganon tries to disguise his fetish as SoL" fic
I'm really not even trying to hide my fetish. I've never tried to disguise it at all. It's funny when people claim otherwise, however.

>>41030039
Thank you.

>The only real quibble I have with Rarity was when she thought about hitting Sweetie with the pie cutter.
Sweetie Belle had just talked about her size. I figured Rarity would at least think about it for a moment before not doing it. Consider that gif that keeps getting posted showing her rump bumping Twilight in I believe the first season.

>The beginning, by which I mean everything until Spike meets Rarity, is rough. You should have either rewritten it or cut it.
I wrote it later, after getting the other main scene started.

>Unless this style is intentional
I guess it was. I'd describe the entire story as stream of consciousness, so it's a little hard for me to think about my precise mindset there. Your modification is fine, but has a different tone than what I wanted. I think the opening was fine for emphasizing how different Spike is. I mentioned the library in the second paragraph so that any reader would realize very quickly that it's set in the first two seasons.

>I get that this fic was part of a trade, so maybe you were trying to inflate your word count to meet some agreed upon number. If that's the case, then fine. I'm just saying that, in some spots, I think that a rewrite would have helped your story.
I'll try to keep this in mind. The guy only wanted one thousand words at the least, but I wouldn't have been comfortable writing such a short story for him. I don't know, it doesn't seem bad for three paragraphs, or are you including more in this?

>Still, you write scenes of characters talking really well.
Thank you. I hate doing it, however.

>I don't have a preg fetish, but I’d gladly read more stuff by you that’s light on the fetish, like this one was.
Thanks. Don't read my next story.

>Actually, the only reason I started lurking here is because I liked your crotchsniffing story, lel.
So you followed the scent, I see. I need to start working on the next chapter of that already.

>>41029838
>I’m surprised no one else has sperged out about it being HiE
It's tailso. No thread regular is making assumptions or touching it with a 10 foot pole unless they're interested.

>>41030624
>it doesn't seem bad for three paragraphs
It's not bad. I just thought it could've used a rewrite, or maybe could've even been cut.
Your writing is good.

>or are you including more in this?
Not really. It only really felt noticeable to me in the first three paragraphs. And to tell the truth, I think the only reason I even fixated on it was because, to me, the story hadn't really gotten going yet. I didn't know why Spike was baking a pie, or why I should care about how cool it was or wasn't. I just knew he was probably making it as a gift for someone, and the only reason I knew that it was for a preggy Rarity was because I saw the cover art before I started reading.

I just felt really disconnected from what was happening in the scene. It's the kind of story intro that makes my eyes skip ahead until I see a different character pop up.

Maybe that's why I tried criticizing your writing style in the first place. Because I do agree with you: my modification is fine, but it does clash with the tone you were going for. I guess I just wasn't completely on board with what you were going for this time. Your writing style reminds me a lot of the way Rarity speaks. That's something I would have appreciated more if she was the main character here, like she is in crotchsniffer. But Spike was the main character, and it just felt kind of off to me this time around. Actually, I revisited some of your story, keeping Rarity's voice in mind this time as I read, and I enjoyed it a lot more. I think you'd do well if you ever wrote more Rarity stories.

Hopefully that clears things up. I won't read your next story. Maybe the one after that though, lel.

>>41029899
You know, I did a cold opening too, a very action-y opening chapter, and it didn't really make a dfference, so I think you're good just opening with what you originally wanted. Let it filter out those who wouldn't want to read something like this anyway, so in the end, you might remain with your actual audience. Those 5-10 readers, I mean.

Fics for Twilight being unable to pull her Task Scheduler tasks out of her 100% complete backup of all of her drives?

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What FiMFic author would you do this to?

>>41031802
___

>>41031802
>meet a legend in your industry
>he asks you how you made one of your movies
Probably was a great feeling for him

Are there any fics where Twilight accidentally invents communism by trying to apply her desire for organization to the entirety of Equestria?

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>>41031988
The good Triptych.

>>41030425
That wouldn't really work. It's going to be a full book, as though it's been copied from the Canterlot Archives right onto Fimfiction. The first thing you see is the title page, followed by the copyright notice and TOC which will be a nightmare to format since I assume Fimfic doesn't have tables or any sort of dynamic TOC functionality. Having something else first would defeat the shtick.

>>41030624
>I'm really not even trying to hide my fetish.
The lack of the fetish tag says otherwise.

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>>41031988
That sounds retarded and would not Mach up with twilight’s characterization at all. Personal responsibility and hard work seems like something she places a good deal of value on. Which is the opposite of communism.
>>41032115
So neither triptych is good then.

>>41032788
>Personal responsibility and hard work seems like something she places a good deal of value on.
But she also loves doing things by the book, bureaucratically, according to how she thinks things should be done. I think it would be very easy for her to fall into trying to apply that to everything, even to other people. I don't think she'd take it all the way. I actually first thought of that as an episode-esque plot where she learns a lesson about why that's bad. But I do think she could feel like things would all just work better if she were to organize everything.

>>41032748
>copyright notice
>his interpretation of Equestria has copyright
kys

>>41032748
Fine. Then how about Copyright, Terms of Contents, and then a scrap of paper inserted into the book as an extra "chapter" describing the climactic battle and so and such?
If even that conflicts with your original vision, you might as well just go about the book as is, because I really don't really think there is any way to do in-medias res.

>>41032816
>Personal responsibility and hard work
As well as her not having a general lack of respect for people’s own choices and autonomy means she would never go that far in the first place.
Though she is also a nerdy academic type, which is usually the class that tilts in favor of communism and starts revolutions because they’re butthurt and seethe over the fact they don’t have more social authority and communism is the one way they can get that.

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>>41032788
Depends on what kind of communism you're speaking of.
The Marx (a.k.a. the leftist/woke/usual communism)? Yes, Hungry Santa wants you to gibsmedat for free.
The communism as intended by the idealists who bought into the idea and ignored the grift? Personal responsibility and hard work are absolutely that, to the point where the irresponsible and the lazy "vanish offscreen" between the beginning of revolution and communism happening.
>>41033391
>not having a general lack of respect for people's own choices and autonomy
Maybe after/if she learned the Want It Need It lesson.
>nerdy academic type
Except she's also Celestia's student and the strongest unicorn in Equestria. So "seething over not having more social authority" isn't Twilight.

Gosh darn, another slow day, huh?

>>41033722
This board is dead. It's unironically over.

>>41033722
Ya niggas need some AiE in your lives to spice it up

>>41033746
I don't think that bait is a good way of speeding up the thread.

Futa is gay.

>>41033753
Imagine being a futa who is straight, but hundreds of totally straight men want to have gay sex with you.

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Is there a good System Shock fic?

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>see some retarded post on 4chan
>comment that it is such
>anon replies calling me a facist (ad hominem) in a zingy one liner and does not actually make any sort of counter argument
>realize this has happened several times before recently
>see another similar post a couple of days later
>reply
>same sort of response
Fics for that feel when you manage to recognize an anon by his post style?

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>>41033941
Fucking nazi.

>>41033941
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/500819

>>41033949
Sorry shill, I recognize that story number. You’ll have to try harder than that next time.

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>>41033958
Damn it

>>41033941
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/289205/

>>41023642
real

>>41033958
>I recognize that story number
Kek. It's like this thread's version of 177013

>>41034177
Now the real question is; is that the Loli Box or Metamorphosis? It's been a while since I've seen reference to either.

Hi, skirts fan here.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/18087/the-best-night-ever
Classic. I liked it but it's definitely not my favorite. I recommend it.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/341625/around-the-world-in-81-days-and-other-problems-caused-by-leap-years
My next fic from my list. Wish me luck, anons.

>>41034735
>81 days
The fic dedicates itself to doing one specific thing, and your opinion of it will depend entirely on whether you can tolerate (or even like!) that thing or if you hate it.
>Wish me luck, anons.
Fun fact: it was up on the site as an E fic for almost 8 years, and only got bumped to T after the thread read it. Keep the E rating in mind as you read it, it's kind of unreal.

>>41034735
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/341625/around-the-world-in-81-days-and-other-problems-caused-by-leap-years
I remember something being very contentious about this fic, but I don't remember exactly what it was.
Wait, no, I think it's coming back to me. I'm pretty sure it was both very edgy and shat on Twilight wanting to do good. It said that Twilight was naive and that the way things worked in Equestria wasn't how they worked in the "real world" (anywhere outside of Equestria). It belittled Twilight and Equestria for being good, almost as if it believes being a bad person makes you more mature.

>>41034767
>spoiler
Is there a bigger red flag than trying to shit on an idealized setting for not being realistic? Reeks of teenage angst and faux deepness.
third time's the charm

>>41034792
Laugh at him.

>>41034797
To its credit, it's well-written and very focused on its message. Taking all of the subjective opinions aside, the story there isn't a bad story.
But it was also among the most displeasing things I've read. Among other things, it spends a full chapter justifying straight-up cheating in a relationship, and another on supporting offensive war and genocide for the sake of your country. Yes, it was posted under E.

>>41034831
Elaborate.

>>41034847
>first one
A stallion tells his story of a romance with a (now deceased) 'ling. One day he caught the 'ling romantically feeding off of another pony. He confronted him about it and learned that the 'ling simultaneously sleeps with 6+ ponies because otherwise it could be dangerous for his "lovers". The stallion got mad, and ended their relationship. But in the story he paints himself as the bad guy, and the chapter ends with the moral of "I should've loved him for who he was, not trying to make him act like I wanted."
>second one
Crystal Empire prepares to invade and conduct a terror warfare against their helpless neighbor. Spike confronts one griffon citizen of CE about it, and the gryphon expresses his support before sharing a story:
Griffon pirates attacked CE for a long time since Crystal ponies can't fly. So what the ponies did, was raiding one of the gryphon island-cities at night and slaughtering every gryphon and chick old enough to remember anything. They took the eggs and the youngest hatchlings to indoctrinate and raise as their anti-air force. Later, equipped with high-tech weapons, this force was used to wipe out all the other pirates. But the griphons were made citizens after 2 generations, so the gryph relaying their story concludes that the CE did a good thing and that the country is all that they have.

>>41034869
>pro-polygamy message
>talking about the benefits of exterminating another group except for the infants who you indoctrinate into your culture
Did a mormon write this?

>>41034869
>first one
Cringe.
>second one
Based.

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Huh?

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>>41035314
What you afraid of Crossed kino?

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>>41035314
>they kill
>they torture
>they rape
>they eat you alive
But I ask them to step on my balls and all of a sudden I'm the bad guy. It's not fair

>>41033139
>I really don't really think there is any way to do in-medias res
It would be an intentional choice by the "author" and his editors. The dilemma's in whether the administrator of the Canterlot Archives (the author) would be doing a sort of "pop history" book that would have that kind of opening or if he'd stick to a more "scholarly" traditional-style of biography.

>>41034735
>Wish me luck
Make sure you have the genital cream ready for the chemical weapons scene.

>>41034764
>E fic for almost 8 years
I still want to know if the author was lurking or if someone snitched.

>>41034869
>Crystal Empire
Completely based and medieval warfare-pilled. If the state cannot protect its citizens then it forfeits its right to hold power.

>>41035314
>strong language
Kek. Had to double check to make sure it wasn't a Headless Rainbow fic. Those TW had his name all over them.

>>41035314
>review https://www.fimfiction.net/story/541435/crossed-equestria-outbreak
This is an AU based on the "Crossed" series of comic books. If you're familiar with Crossed, you may wonder whether anyone could successfully cross (pun intended) its gruesome and horrific setting with the cheerful world of Equestria. Turns out the answer is no. This story is a failure in every way.

The first few paragraphs are some kind of journal entry by Twilight. These aren't so bad. Then it flashes back to Twilight's first encounter with the Crossed, and everything goes to hell. Twilight's favorite hayburger restaurant explodes. A Crossed stallion then rapes and beheads a mare while Twilight inexplicably watches and makes no attempt to help. The stallion chases Twilight home, where she discovers that Spike is one of the Crossed. He intends to rape and murder her, and to save herself, she kills him. Chapter 1, the only one so far, ends with 1 Corinthians 6:19 in giant gray letters.

The writing is atrocious. The grammar is poor, and you can tell that the writer is ESL (he says in the comments that his native language is Spanish). The pacing is nonexistent. Some scenes drag and others go by too fast. The dialog and word choice is terrible. Sometimes it's surprisingly clinical, like "the stallion proceeded to insert his genitals inside the mare," and other times it's exaggerated almost to the point of satire, like Spike's declaration, "I'm going to fuck your ass Twilight and if you scream it will be more fun HAHAHA!"

This story has earned every one of its 47 (now 48) downvotes. Not worth reading even if you like crackfics. 0/10.

>>41035462
>The writing is atrocious.
I'm glad the author could at least mimic Ennis's trademark style.

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>>41035462
>Click
>Scroll a little
>
Incredible.

>>41035325
Wish You Were Here is the only decent Crossed series.
The Sadness was good, too.

>>41034735
>My next fic from my list. Wish me luck, anons.
kek
>>41034764
>Fun fact: it was up on the site as an E fic for almost 8 years, and only got bumped to T after the thread read it.
keker, we actually had a positive impact on fimfic guys!

What are some good names for pony cops and detectives? I just need a few to fill out a scene.

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>>41035599
Gotta go with the classic Tracer Bullet.

>>41035462
>"I'm going to fuck your ass Twilight and if you scream it will be more fun HAHAHA!"Spike said as he approached me with a kitchen knife in claws.
That Spike, such a jokester

>>41035599
How about Sudden Case for a detective? Urgent Call for a cop.
They aren't very good, just came to me off the top of my head. But use 'em if you want.

>>41035599
Double Dubs would be a great name
Oh wait...

>>41035599
If there's more than a couple of them in the scene, I'd be tempted to throw in Ambrosia Costeau.

>>41035599
Loose Cannon and his partner On the Edge
Blue Canary
Fuzzy Flathoof
Hairy Expression
Detective Stable
Feather Pincher
Wagon Patties
Beat Trotter
Inspector Zany Gait
I'm just throwing out what ever pops into my head.

>>41035599
Day Away, for a traged-ay.

Authors with the best prose in Fimfic?

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>>41036005
>Discord gets topped by this mare every night

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>>41036046
Did you wake up today intent on being a nigger?

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>>41034735
Does /fimfic/ still think that TBNE is one is the best fics on the site or have we transcended to another level of contrarianism?

>>41036046
>>41036049
Go back to the mares with flares general, faggots.
Oh, wait.

>>41036005
Die, you double nigger faggot

>>41036093
Banning that thread was like getting rid of a balloon with a fart in it by popping it.

>>41036106
What?
that general moved to /trash/.

>>41036188
It didn't "move" anywhere. The marecock threads on /trash/ are infested with b&thro, on top of lacking good writefags, functioning as little more than porn dumps.

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I dislike futashit as well but I'm surprised to see /here/ of all places pushing back against it, considering how much unironic faggotry its indulged in before.

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>>41035599
Coffee Klatch
Ace Thruster

>>41036204
What's /your/ fetish, nonny?

>>41036211
My fetish is telling my fetish to random strangers on the internet.

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>>41027802
Wtf somebody stop this anon! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE writing an epic edgy pony adventure story with straight protagonists! How dare you!

>>41036285
Someone tell him

>>41029452
Cover art can be whatever you want but if you want to try and distill it down objectively into what you 'should' be doing I would figure it is two things in order of importance:
1.Get people to read your story
2.Get across an idea of what to expect or what your story will be about tonally, conceptually, thematically though visual messaging

In my personal opinion this does nothing. It's just text. You can use it if you want but if I am understanding your intention here this kind of flounders because Fimfic has the title separate from the book cover. On a traditional paperback I could see this working better because you can place the image unaltered onto the cover and have the subheader work exactly as you intended. But on fimfiction what will this look like? 'Volemia' as the title and then you paste the image into the fic image and it reads 'Volemia - Stay tuned, stay alive' a second time? Seems weird.

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Sometimes I see a fimfic with 0 disliked all the way up until they get to the 200~ ish like mark. Does anyone know why this might happen outside of random chance? Usually even the best fics ever get a dislike or two when they get to that point, it's like an automatic tax on every fic.

>>41036204
/fimfic/ is a large, throbbing thread. For most of the popular fetishes (and several unpopular ones) you can think of, there's probably at least two anons here who are into it and another two who'll reee about it.

>>41036307
I have given up on trying to analyze where that 1 dislike on 100+ updoot fics comes from. Trying to analyze up/downboops as feedback can be taken too far.
It could be someone checking the fic since "no dislikes must mean it's exceptional", deciding it's merely ok, and "correcting" the rating. It could even be some other author in the bin trying to jump over your story.

>>41036307
>>41036337
>It could even be some other author in the bin trying to jump over your story.
I did this recently to three stories, one with no dislikes, and felt so bad that I removed them. It filled me with remorse I've not felt in years to do this in an attempt to get ahead. I guess I truly empathize with you guys to feel this way.

The dislike I left for RunicTreetops at the same time stays, however, because I can't stand him.

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>>41036397
>The dislike I left for RunicTreetops at the same time stays, however, because I can't stand him.
Jealousy is befitting of a writer, keep it up.

>>41036337
I still remember there was a Celestia sadfic where she has an existential breakdown over nothing until Luna tells her to cut it out. I thought it was shit, but the comments were filled with people saying they were crying due to how powerful and emotional the story was. I was at a loss for words.
I checked some years ago, and I still was the only downvote on that story.

>>41036397
I haven't actually done it, but I was shocked how close I was to convincing myself to, under the assumption that I'll take it off once one of us drops out of the bin.

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>>41036427
People are just retarded. Have you looked at mainstream lit? All slop. I've read the most kino and profound of greens and yet the only ones popular enough to get adapted to prose are shitty romanceslop. Its terrible. I feel like I'm the only person whose taste isn't shit in the world at times. I hate that the sloppiest of wish-fulfillment trumps actual quality in popularity any day of the week.

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Downvoting a fic doesn't affects its position in the sin bin, you numpties. Once again, it's reads and upvotes and time.

>>41036450
But it FEELS good.

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>>41036476
One thing that feels better is using the search tools on the site to find a fic that should've been featured and reading it instead.

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It feels more like a hole to be honest.
>/FSSBC/
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/505051/where-only-silver-shines (1/3)
This is nice so far. I have a couple of issues with it, but overall I'm positive on it. To start with, it's rather well polished on the writing side. Even the few actual typos I've spotted were at least just wrong words, and, beside a few more instances where a choice may seem a little odd but still likely works, the rest all flows well. It's a breath of fresh air coming from certain other fics. As for the story itself, it's a little slow for now. A bit directionless, though with hints of something more in the obvious totally Luna under her old production name plot (I don't think that's meant to be a twist given the character tag), or with the rebellion that's been talked about. I don't mind the more almost SoL pacing, but I do hope things will pick up starting next week now that the characters have settled.
Speaking of characters, they are nice. Book in particular (and I'll keep calling her that because it's unclear whether her other name is true or not, but also because Book is easier to remember) is a cutie, and the part where she trains herself on how to run was particularly funny and a nice bit of pony in an otherwise all OC world. Silver is nice too, and I appreciated the unexpected and elegant ToD reference early on. Nightshade was only just introduced, but she seems okay too.
One thing I'm not too hot on, in relation to the narration, is events happening off-screen. Not all of them do, but some definitely, and it's not always clear what happened from what's said between characters. The details of Silver sticking around in The Tower, for example, are barely hinted at and I'm still not fully clear on them. Other guy sold him out and is now free while he's stuck here, I suppose? It may not be too relevant, but it's still not super clear. I hope the main events will get shown and not just skipped over, and that what the fic has been doing is just a way to get through all the setup faster. Book changing her mind about Silver or meeting him again before then is something that similarly was glossed over and confused me a bit.
Things that don't necessarily bother me, but do make me raise my eyebrows. Silver's accent is the big one. It seems to come and go, an it appears a bit out of nowhere. Maybe it's meant to be something he's suppressing when he speaks to certain characters, but I don't feel it's that consistent. The whole setting was inspired by TTRPG stuff and it does feel very game-y, especially at the start when pockets are first brought up. Pony years are weird in this fic, and I wonder if that'll be explained or if it just is.
Looking forward to the rest. I'm sure I've forgotten something, hopefully the rest of the club will bring it up.
Next week we're reading the second third of this, up to and including chapter 19, "S8 — Shattered".
Feel free to decide what we'll read in the future too:
>https://ponepaste.org/8813

>>41036513
I'm really not too stoked about this fic, so far. That's not a good sign 1/3rd of the way in.
So this is another AU, with OC characters, just like CZ was. But here, most things are just confusing. I'm not exactly sure where and when all of this takes place, only that in "The Tower", which seems like a gigantic city-state-like habitat. It's also supposed to be unnatural, but so far it doesn't seem all that unnatural to me aside from places not having a ceiling, just some blackness above.
The characters are also a problem. So far, I didn't find myself caring too much about them. The main protag, Silver, is outright annoying most of the times. I get it he is supposed to be this simple everypony, a bit of a country bumpkin-type character, but he just doesn't work out. He's depicted as not being very smart, he says so himself, but that doesn't make me like him. If he was a mare instead, maybe this sort of personality would be a bit endearing, but I doubt it. He's just not very likeable, plain and simple.
The first-person narration only exacerbates this problem. Knowing all his feelings, and reading his inner monologues often made me wish he would just shut up inside. Actually, he reminds me a bit of the classic Anon character. Not the simple human stand-in that's popular nowadays on Fimfic, but the good old 4chan Anon. A dumb asshole with horrible takes, who nevertheless means well, most often. That's that, but here, that doesn't really work. I should like this pony, yet I can't.
The other protag, Avens/Book Keeper is better, but not by much. I guess she should be a very sympathetic character with her shyness and awkwardness, but more often than not, I was just simply bored during her focus chapters. But at least I wasn't annoyed by her. Although I'm still confused about her race. She can cast magic, so I thought unicorn. Then another chapter says she's from a bat pony family, and also mentions she is too weak to fly, so she's a bat pony then? Or a batpony unicorn? This wasn't clear, and then again, the first-person perspective doesn't help.
But the biggest problem is that the plot doesn't really seem to go anywhere. This many chapters in, things that I guess will be important down the line are still just mentioned. And seem out of left field, as we get right back to character moments. Like, they -sound- important, but then the narration ignores them all the same, like the rebellion.
To say something good as well, the fic is pretty good at describing character emotions, and what happens to them in a given moment. If anything, that's a plus for first-person. I enjoyed the part when Avens/Book Keeper was wandering that tunnel. Gave me claustrophobic vibes, and that's probably exactly what that scene wanted to achieve.
All in all, at this point I need a pretty serious "Trust me bro, it gets good half way in!" to not drop this thing. I tried to like it, but even if I want to put it positive, this is only mediocre.

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>>41036513
Right off the bat (ha), I ran into some difficulty starting this fic. I normally just sit down and read stuff, but this fic I had to start three times before I got through the first real chapter. I'm not really sure why that is, but if I had to guess, I'd imagine it's a combination of the fic being set in a very AU'y AU with an almost-all-OC cast, plus the fact that I found the first protag really annoying at first. And perhaps he's meant to be annoying before he 'gets better', but that didn't make the opening any more fun to read.

He doesn't bother me anymore, but the first moments with his very active first-person narration remarks were aggravating, and I wanted nothing more than for him to shut up. I get that he's not an idiot; he just has bad manners and is uneducated, but it's effectively the same. Ugh. But then we get the extra-cute batpony—I mean, earth pony—and all is right in the world. I am glad I continued reading, because once I got past the first two chapters*, I started to enjoy the fic more and more, finishing this week's portion in one session. I like the characters, and I especially want to know more about the settings and its mysteries. That's a great sign for the story.

Another immediately apparent thing are the choices this fic takes—you can't write a longer story without making some. Some are harmless or neat, like the 'proper' interrobang or the arbitrary 4-month-years, which get heavily hinted at since the first chapter and get confirmed later. But I don't really like the (intentionally) apparent separation from FiM. I don't mean the “pony” feeling of the setting; I'm talking about the time gap. Anything we get are the barest of crumbs, often feeling more like references than a true part of the world, case in point (probably) Twilight's “Egghead Guide to Running”. The significance of pony races makes this definitely a fimfic, though. And it has a bit of an OC who's 100% Princess Luna. We even get bat ponies, with an absolutely patrician name choice to boot. Oh, and the spellcasting sarosian makes me want to mention my failed bat fic with very similar tags and some other, similar elements.
Not with the intention of shilling it, but to note that WOSS is somehow a little bit less popular than it. WTF. This fic reads like it had way more effort and polish (there are some mistakes/poor word choices, and a handful of ESLisms, but they are not common, and in general, it reads like something that was sufficiently proofread) put into it, with an entire setting built for the story. Maybe it's the lack of groups? Or is [Gore] to blame? I know I absolutely TANKED my fic with that tag when it wasn't needed, and in WOSS so far, nothing really required it. That one scene mentioned in A/N is borderline, but imo it's fine-ish for a T, and I'm usually the first to cry for extra content warning tags. Basically, what I wanted to say is that this got really overlooked, but the reader retention is also somehow poor.
(1/2)

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>>41036448
>I've read the most kino and profound of greens
Please post them so that I can judge you and see if you are retarded.

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>>41036513
>>41036555
*There were two scenes I couldn't like much. The first was the fighting in ch1. I couldn't get a good grasp of the attacks and dodges and the placement of ponies in the scene. The second was Book Keeper's first chapter. I think I get what the author was trying to do with her speech (and her narration), but it's taken way too far. She's not just odd; she's a fucking alien. She does get a lot better about it in the later chapters, due to exposure to Silver's plebian speech or maybe the author not exaggerating it as much.
One small choice/error that bothers me more than it should is that the author sometimes does this:
>"Another pony's dialogue." Protag's thoughts go here. "Dialogue continues."
Maybe it's a skill issue, but it trips me up every time, forcing me to double-check who's speaking and if I missed anything.

>>41036513
Does it count as participating in the club if I've written the fic but still comment on it?
>As for the story itself, it's a little slow for now. A bit directionless
Would you believe if I said I've cut about 20k words in those early chapters alone? In hindsight, it wasn't a great solution, because as you say,
>Other guy sold him out and is now free while he's stuck here, I suppose?
Was a detail I'd originally included, but it was just a single scene with Silver talking to Aurora, her telling him he's fucked, and him going away. With hindsight, I definitely should have merged that scene with another and given a bit more exposition that way.
I also should have made the beginning more plot-heavy in general. Was worried it was moving too slow, and I think putting more emphasis on Silver attempting to leave would have helped.
>Silver's accent is the big one. It seems to come and go, an it appears a bit out of nowhere.
This is me trying something artsy/experimental and learning the lesson not to do it again. He himself doesn't hear his accent, but other characters do.
>Pockets
Yeah, that's a particular bit of exposition I'm less than proud of.
>>41036516
>If he was a mare instead, maybe this sort of personality would be a bit endearing, but I doubt it.
Kek, in the first draft he was indeed a mare.
>I should like this pony, yet I can't.
Perhaps surprisingly, I'm almost in the same boat, though not to the same extent. I've given a lot of thought to his characterisation, and I've made sure he has a good character arc. While I was writing it, I felt for him, but after the fact he kinda just is. Contrast that with some other characters I've written that I still think about daily and yup.
>Keeper's race/magic
That, at least, I can confidently say was intentionally confusing.
>the fic is pretty good at describing character emotions, and what happens to them in a given moment.
Thank you. All in all, the fic was very experimental, and the stream-of-consciousness-ish style of narration was definitely what took the most effort, so I appreciate people commenting on it
>trust me bro, it gets good half way in
I can certainly promise it gets better, though I cannot promise you'll like it.

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>>41036562
https://ponepaste.org/3660 This one is probably my favorite despite being the hardest to get into, as its a loose sequel to a trilogy he wrote prior. you don't /have/ to read the trilogy, and its first entry is admittedly pretty shitty, but they make some callbacks to the second entry that I appreciated. It focuses on a very niche message and does an excellent job of telling it.
https://poneb.in/QdtXWds0 There's like 12 entries but the writer doesn't link them so you have to go through his account. It has a brief joke intro that filters some people, you have to stick through it.
https://poneb.in/6STAZFNB Thorax backstory. Probably the most solidly written of what I've posted.
There's more but the three that I posted are the best of the selection.
Obsession or any of SeaUrchin's works qualifies as kino if you read without a critical eye but they're poorly written so I won't post them.

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>>41036513
>pic
The part where Book Keeper dumps exposition on why running is hard and she overthinks it, landing on her face whenever she tries, was top tier cute pony fluff. I really liked that entire training scene.
>it's a little slow for now. A bit directionless
I'm always out there defending the SoL parts in fics which aren't SoL, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that I'll do the same now. I liked the SoL-lite scenes here, especially once I got more used to Silver.
>it's unclear whether her other name is true or not
Do you really think chapter names would lie to us? But she's Book Keeper for 90% of what we read, and Avens only in one chapter.
>part where she trains herself on how to run
Oh, yeah, exactly. I do not care for Silver yet, however.
>It may not be too relevant, but it's still not super clear
This didn't bother me. The events that are skipped are never really relevant; I never felt like we missed out on a part of the story. If we start skipping important events, then yeah, I'll take this back.
>The whole setting was inspired by TTRPG stuff and it does feel very game-y
Pockets are just that, and the "sealed lower floors" also rings some bells, but I do like the Tower as a whole. I hope we get to see more of it in the next week rather than just treating it like an isolated plain where stuff happens, because this vertical fic setting is super neat.
>Pony years are weird in this fic, and I wonder if that'll be explained or if it just is.
Ch1 says that drinking age is 54, and all other numbers are consistent with human years divided by three. The years were confirmed to last 4 months in one of the recent chapters. Unless you mean that the reason *why* they're this way is weird, in which case, fair. I think it's harmless, and if we got a proper explanation why did they change it from 12 in FiM it'd be nice, but not necessary.

>>41036516
>AU, with OC characters
And Luna! Can't forget Best Princess mentoring the winged retard.
>most things are just confusing
This is more of a matter of taste, but I like that more than I dislike it. I'd like to read more fics where things are just weird or confusing and there may or may not be an explanation for it other than "it's just how things are in here".
>He's just not very likeable, plain and simple.
>The first-person narration only exacerbates this problem.
Definitely true for me, too. I also felt like I should like him. I hope he gets better with Keeps to prop him up, but I'm not holding my breath for that. Not liking Book Keeper is poor taste, though.
>I'm still confused about her race
She's a bat pony who can magic stuff. Remember that she has to disguise her distinctly bat pony eyes whenever she meets Silver (and that she hides her wings).
>the plot doesn't really seem to go anywhere.
Fair point, but do keep in mind that it's not tagged an Adventure. It's Mystery, and in the description the author says that he picked that over Adventure. And there's definitely a lot of Mystery to go around.

>>41036568
Forgot my god-damn flag yet again, so now it's staying off.
>>41036555
>but the first moments with his very active first-person narration remarks were aggravating
This isn't the first time someone's expressed annoyance with him in that particular chapter. If I didn't consider the fic DONE, I'd probably change his lines a bit. Maybe I still will. Originally, there was a 4k word prologue before that for the reader to get acquainted with Silver, though, so maybe that's why I thought I could get away with more than I really could.
>time game/disconnection from fimfic
It's the reason I added in totally-not-Luna, actually. She wasn't originally going to be a character, but I realised the fic was just too removed in a way I couldn't change (the setting is an homage to a friend's TTRPG setting)
I also suspect that's the main reason this fic is "unpopular". I figured it would lower the views, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't performing worse than expected. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
>Lack of groups
I've actually added the fic to an obnoxious amount of groups. So much, in fact, that I disabled the "featured groups" feature out of shame.
>[Gore]
I figured the descriptions of wounds were enough to warrant the tag on a T fic. Maybe I can get away without it, then. Less red tags is always better.
>pic
Out of all the bat OCs you could have used, you chose an OC made by my best friend, who happened to pre-read this fic. That's a pretty good coincidence. Unless you chose that pic specifically because you saw his comment on the story, in which case I'm just retarded.
>>41036566
>Keep's first chapter
Yeah, I overdid it. The idea was to have her daydreams be over-the-top flowery, but in hindsight that wasn't a good idea.
>>"Another pony's dialogue." Protag's thoughts go here. "Dialogue continues."
Huh, I wasn't aware that's an issue since no one else has mentioned it. I'll reconsider using that format in future fics. Or if I somehow wind up doing yet another round of edits on WOSS

Overall, I'm really glad you're enjoying the story.

>>41034735
>base an MLP fanfic on Around the World in 80 Days
>instead of actually having a fun adventure make it so that the world outside Equestria is absolutely miserable and they all think Equestria is naive and weak despite being ruled by the sun moving alicorn for a thousand years
Jaxie is a fucking retard

>>41034182
Pretty sure it's the latter. When did we stop calling it Emergence, anyway?
>>41034177
The funny thing is I've been banned this week, so whoever is shilling isn't me and is committing to the bit.
>>41036516
>I'm not exactly sure where and when all of this takes place
Beyond the G5 comment, some hints make it clear enough to me that we're in the future.
>The Tower
Honestly, my complaint there is that the Tower doesn't feel very towerish. We're more so spending time in the world underneath the tower itself. That's not necessarily bad, but a bit weird. It's not like you can't set a story inside a proper tower, as someone else here will eventually see. I don't mind the Dungeons of Fear and Batponies the fic has going on, but I find the choice of name a little odd.
>Silver, is outright annoying most of the times
I think I was annoyed by him at first too, but he grew on me.
>I should like this pony, yet I can't
Please be patient, he's acoustic.
>confused about her race
I think she's a bap, and the magic is because other races can do magic too in this fic. See Silver channeling it in his wings. And he's bad at magic.
>the first-person perspective doesn't help
This however is notable, and one thing I forgot to bring up. The first person perspective makes for a somewhat bothering lack of descriptions and clarity on many elements, what the characters look like being one of them. I didn't know Nightshade was female until a fair bit into her chapter.
>>41036555
Checked.
>He doesn't bother me anymore
I think I had your same experience with him. Though perhaps helped by me whispering 'based' at the ToD reference.
>4-month-years
I think I almost caught that, but was too tired to put 2 and 2 together. That does clear things up, thanks.
>patrician name choice
I still think just bat ponies is my preferred one.
>WTF
Yeah. My only guess is that the cover is very dark and not super clear when small, plus maybe a lukewarm first reception. But for how polished this is it should have more views.
>>41036566
>Book Keeper's first chapter
Refer to the picture in my original post. As for myself, I do like how distinct the two perspectives are.
>Maybe it's a skill issue
It probably is. I had no issue with it.
>>41036568
>Would you believe if I said I've cut about 20k words in those early chapters alone?
I may have actually preferred them in. I like slow stuff. But I understand the cutting.
>He himself doesn't hear his accent, but other characters do.
That actually makes sense, but I think it's introduced too late and is too strong to not seem weird. I should also double check if that is actually consistent, though it probably is. In general this and a few more issues may have been fixed with one more scene of Book meeting Silver from her perspective or two.

>>41036639
>I really liked that entire training scene.
Same.
>I'll do the same now
I like them too, actually, but it is a legitimate criticism that may be aimed at the story for now.
>Do you really think chapter names would lie to us?
No, but I think she would (should?) lie to random serfs and prisoners, so her true name may be another A word.
>The events that are skipped are never really relevant
But it does paint a dangerous precedent.
>I do like the Tower as a whole
Same, though I am also hoping it gets more towery going forward.
>because this vertical fic setting is super neat
I'm so behind on tomorrow's fic I may go proofread ToD instead tomorrow.
>Best Princess
You and your wrong tastes.
>I'd like to read more fics where things are just weird or confusing
God I wanna get back to writing. One day, I swear.
>And there's definitely a lot of Mystery to go around
Is there though?
>>41036643
>I also suspect that's the main reason this fic is "unpopular"
I find that unlikely, but I can't say for sure.
>>[Gore]
I haven't seen anything that would need it so far, imo, but you may want to keep it for the skewered bats early on I suppose.
>Yeah, I overdid it
I liked it.
>Huh, I wasn't aware that's an issue since no one else has mentioned it
It can be, but I don't personally have issues with it in this fic specifically.

>>41036513
>with hints of something more in the obvious totally Luna under her old production name
Call me a reteard, but I didn't get that was supposed to be Luna. Yes, the name, but I expected the ACTUAL Luna to show up in the fic. Is this extra shameful, considering my flag?
>The details of Silver sticking around in The Tower
Yeah, this. And just details in general. Sometimes it felt like the fic skipped something important, and suddenly we're in medias res.
>>41036566
>There were two scenes I couldn't like much. The first was the fighting in ch1.
The action sequence didn't bother me, I could follow it mostly, but now that I think about it, it felt like the tutorial level of some dungeon crawler. Now I also know why, knowing the inspiration
>Maybe it's a skill issue, but it trips me up every time
>"It trips me up every time!"
>lel, did this pleb ever read a greentext?
>"But I guess this fic is just like this."
This stream-of-consciousness style is common in greentexts, actually that's another reason why Silver reminded me of Anon (the character)
>>41036639
>I'd like to read more fics where things are just weird or confusing and there may or may not be an explanation for it other than "it's just how things are in here".
But that combined with the completely AU setting just makes me go "Why make it THIS confusing when you have a perfectly good world you can build off of already existing?" I'm not saying it should be about one of the Mane 6 and be placed in Canterlot, but something more familiar would probably help me caring more.
>>41036876
>See Silver channeling it in his wings. And he's bad at magic.
I thought that was just mentioning his pegasus magic, but I'm almost sure it wasn't established bats can cast actual spells with their wings.
Author?
>I like slow stuff.
Did you like Eternal?

>>41036555
>Maybe it's the lack of groups?
When I look at this fic at a glance, and hearing you all discuss it, nothing really jumps out at me. It could be a solid story that does everything right, but the reality is that it is probably 'yet another fic' that doesn't really strike out in any particular way (not that there is anything wrong with that). 'Good enough' works tend to be cast aside and forgotten for a variety of reasons.

The description seems rather banal and devoid of substance or a hook. The cover art is nice and presents an interesting setting with the moon visual, but isn't striking or immediately gripping in any way and the thumbnail doesn't read well especially. The tags and description indicate an OC focus which is a death sentence, automatic -95% hit to your ratings. Author is fresh so has no existing audience to give it a boost. Didn't get featured initially which is also a big hit to it. Seemingly no groups it has been added to so it was probably forgotten swiftly and bumped off the front page at which point its literally over since nobody will find your fic outside of manual searches and it cannot reemerge due to the bottom three featured boxes/ most popular. An unremarkable description and cover art also ensures it picks up no traction in recently-updated.

The story ultimately is probably just okay and not amazing, or, as other anons mentioned, actually difficult to get into. A lack of great appeal or a big hook means this story would just go nowhere.

Just my surface-level thoughts. I could be wrong on some things or not know (like the mentioned gore tag tanking things?). I'm more of a video game success analyst guy.

>>41036904
>but I didn't get that was supposed to be Luna
We're not at the point in the story where it's clear it's her, but it's already clear it's her. I expect she'll show up as her proper self in the future.
>spoiler
Yes.
>Sometimes it felt like the fic skipped something important, and suddenly we're in medias res
Yeah, it often took me a moment to understand what had been skipped between chapters or during a break.
>I thought that was just mentioning his pegasus magic
What is magic, anyway?
>Eternal?
Wasn't in that club. I may go back to it one day, when my meds actually help instead of making me trip out bad and spend two days freaking out and having fits of not-sleep.
>>41036911
You're probably right on a few things, though I would disagree on an all-OC setting / cast being a death sentence. People can absolutely lap that up if you sell it to them right.

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>>41036639
>I really liked that entire training scene.
Same, I'm rather proud of it.
>>41036876
>The first person perspective makes for a somewhat bothering lack of descriptions and clarity on many elements, what the characters look like being one of them.
Yeah, there are a few things I would have liked to mention, but there was no good reason for the character to think about it.
>In general this and a few more issues may have been fixed with one more scene of Book meeting Silver from her perspective or two.
Definitely. For the second half of the story I had to make a cause-and-effect flowchart to keep track of events and consolidate multiple into a single scene, and I think the first half would have benefited from something like that as well.
>>41036904
>Call me a reteard, but I didn't get that was supposed to be Luna.
It's supposed to be an open secret to the reader. If you get it, you get it, if you don't, you don't.
>but now that I think about it, it felt like the tutorial level of some dungeon
That is indeed one of the three scenes in the fic that were adapted from the campaign. I wonder if the others give off the same vibe.
>Why make it THIS confusing
Inspiration bit me after I played Elden Ring and loved the way the world is presented
>bat magic
(not a spoiler, but I dislike affecting/dictatinng how people interpret my stories) Silver mentions his magic, but he means his pegasus magic, and even calls it "magic-but-not-really-magic"
>>41036911
Interesting. You reckon >picrel would have made for a better thumbnail?
Shame about the descriptions, because god damn did I try to make them good. Too late to fix any of this now, but I might as well learn.
Also, I did add it to a tonne of groups. Maybe my fuckup was not adding it to groups immediately after publishing.

>>41036876
>didn't know Nightshade was female until a fair bit into her chapter.
Now that you mention it, Silver wasn't confirmed to be a stallion until several chapters in. There were hints, but not an explicit 'he' referring to him, or something. That bothered me. I was holding out hope he might turn out to be a mare...

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>>41036093
>he'd rather suck greasy janny dick than big fat mare flares

>>41037153
Some niggas just lack taste.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/549113/bee-a-blimp

That Fast Show reference, tho.

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>>41036568
>Would you believe if I said I've cut about 20k words in those early chapters alone?
I'd have read that. Then again, I did like Eternal a lot, so maybe don't take my word for it. It'd probably be even harder to convince an average reader to read the fic if this introductory part of the story had 20k more words. Cutting that much is impressive; I personally can't edit for shit.

>>41036643
>I'd probably change his lines a bit. Maybe I still will
I don't know how much changing his lines would help. Maybe it'd soften the blow, but it's his personality and those little comments to himself that were annoying, at least for me. That other anon suggesting a mare would be easier to tolerate might have a point, kek.
>the setting is an homage to a friend's TTRPG setting
Oh, that makes sense. As for the views, I don't know what you could've done differently nor do I know what's the reason for it underperforming, but a nearly all-OC cast in an AU is probably a big factor. Luna maybe helped a bit, but she's absent from the description/cover/first chapters, so I don't know how much it really did. But unless things crash and burn horribly, I think I'll at least add my +1 to it.
>I figured the descriptions of wounds were enough to warrant the tag on a T fic.
Seeing the stuff that people put into T or E, cough cough, 81 days, I think you'd be fine without it. The tag guideline on the site is not accurate. Unless the wounds or gruesome violence are a big part of the fic, pretty much anything short of excessive and gratuitous gore is fine without the gore tag. WOSS only had a couple gore-adjacent scenes, and none of them were too bad. Basically, take what the tag guidelines say about gore in M fics, and apply it to T, too. I might push the limits a little with my next fic.
>spoiler
No, it's really a coincidence. Well, probably a partial coincidence, because I was looking through my folder and picked a random bat pic I remembered saving. So it could've even been something (You) posted itt some time ago.
>wasn't aware that's an issue
Again, could just be skill issue on my part. Monke brain sees "name+action" in between dialogue and ascribes that name to the dialogue.

>>41036876
>Dungeons of Fear and Batponies the fic has going on, but I find the choice of name a little odd.
I may be assuming things that aren't stated, but I thought that the Tower reaches downwards, too. That this happens inside (presumably circular) layers of this massive Tower below ground. It's effectively similar to a dungeon, but a more weird or fantastical.
>just bat ponies
Just bat ponies is also good, and way more practical, but I thought it was really nice to see sarosians mentioned. It makes them sound more mysterious, almost regal. I think that in my bat fic 'sarosian' comes up exactly twice, and it's 'batponies' in all forty-something other instances. I go back and forth between preferring the spaced and non-spaced variants of the name.

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>>41036876
>My only guess is that the cover is very dark
That's a good guess. I did note that the cover didn't really catch my attention at all; on lower brightness setting or as a thumbnail it's mostly just a dark blob. [Princess Luna][OC][Bat Pony] on a fic that's Romance+Drama might send the wrong signals, too.

>>41036898
>I think she would (should?) lie to random serfs and prisoners
Oh, right, this could definitely be a thing.
>I'm so behind on tomorrow's fic
I haven't even downloaded it yet myself. But you should read it; you voted for it.
>God I wanna get back to writing.
Assuming I get to editing the draft that I just finished (...finished as I was postponing reading WOSS's first chapter and having to suffer more Silver, actually), my next fic should aim to have some 'weird', too. I've considered naming it "The Gate and the Key", but given that it's not really a crossover, I don't think I will.
>Is there though?
Sure there is. Not all of it is plot-critical, but some things that come to mind: the nature of the Tower and its lower floors, the Forsaken, the rebellion, blood trading, Book Keeper's magic, Luna's involvement, what happened to Equestria.

>>41036904
>This stream-of-consciousness style is common in greentexts
I haven't read that many, but I read a handful. I don't know; it confused me maybe three times in specific contexts. If I see a good example in the next week's portion, I'll try to remember to screencap it.
>"Why make it THIS confusing when you have a perfectly good world you can build off of already existing?"
That's definitely a reasonable line of thought. I'm usually slightly biased against far-AU fics with no canon characters, too, and I did find it difficult to care for this fic as a fimfic at first. But I'm a sucker for weird so wondering how and why the Tower works this way has pulled me in more than the AU pushed me away.
>I'm almost sure it wasn't established bats can cast actual spells with their wings.
Seconding this. There are some hints, I think, that Keeper's magic is not the norm for bats. I can't really quote anything, but that's the clear impression I had, too.

>>41036911
>nothing really jumps out at me
That's true. I agree with most of your post. Especially about the cover and the description. I don't even have to look far for another point of anecdotal evidence -- I had this fic on my RIL for a long time, and I never got around to reading it before the club.

>>41036964
>People can absolutely lap that up if you sell it to them right.
But mostly when you're a big author or you use a recognizable OC setting, something like EaW.

>>41036968
>pic
Personally, I think it's a lot better of a cover. It puts much more focus on the characters, lighter colors, etc. I might even be tempted to crop the edges so it's closer to a square, since that makes fimfic zoom in more and make the details stand out. I think the ideal cover is either vertical or a square, definitely not a horizontal landscape.
>spoiler
I do love the Fromsoft school of worldbuilding, so that may be why I like the tower.

I haven't used this keyboard in a while, hopefully the post isn't too much of a mess.
>>41036968
>there was no good reason for the character to think about it.
There's a reason mirrors are a (overused and discouraged) trope in first person stories.
>For the second half of the story I had to make a cause-and-effect flowchart
Looking forward to that then.
>>41037094
That reminds me, the first time through I wasn't even sure Book had seen him with Aurora and not the guy with him.
>>41037204
>pic
So smug.
>I personally can't edit for shit
My edits usually add words.
>but she's absent from the /cover/
She's right there, silly. ^:)
>but I thought that the Tower reaches downwards, too
It does, but at that point, like I said, it's more of a layered cave. No way it's as large on the surface too.
>I go back and forth between preferring the spaced and non-spaced variants of the name
Same.
>>41037278
>But you should read it; you voted for it.
Fffffine, I'll try to.
>I've considered naming it "The Gate and the Key"
I've recently settled on "Blood Rock Love" as the title for my next big fic. No idea when I will finish it though.
>Sure there is
On one hand, fair enough. On the other, those are more mysteries for the reader than mysteries in the story itself, so I don't know if they justify the tag yet.
>it confused me maybe three times in specific contexts
If it makes you feel better, there was one instance where two paragraphs were mistakenly connected as one and two different characters spoke in it.
>But I'm a sucker for weird
Based.
>But mostly when
Or when you add the [human] tag.
>>41037289
>I think the ideal cover is either vertical or a square
Probably.
>I do love the Fromsoft school of worldbuilding
Wait until you learn how mangled the English translations are at points. "Convoluted" time my flank.

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Check 'em.

>>41037659
>Characters: 50034
Wow. I have trouble keeping track of the characters in my story, and there's only about a dozen of them. How do you manage so many?

>>41037739
I cheated by setting the story in Manehattan. There's just that many ponies there!

>>41037741
You brilliant bastard!

today marks ten years since Five Score, Divided by Four ended: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/93383/five-score-divided-by-four

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>>41038008
But why.

>>41038026
?

>>41038051
First chapter has a period after the number.
All other chapters have parenthesis.

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>>41037204
>slower stories
I'm the opposite. The other club's railway fic made me burn out on reading.
>but it's his personality and those little comments to himself that were annoying
Yeah, that's what I meant. I'm just retarded and to me "lines" meant his mental lines as well.
>So it could've even been something (You) posted itt some time ago.
Nope. I rarely ever post pics.
>>41037278
>[Princess Luna][OC][Bat Pony] on a fic that's Romance+Drama might send the wrong signals, too.
Yeah, I'm worried about that. Was hoping the cover would counteract it.
>>41037424
>There's a reason mirrors are a (overused and discouraged) trope in first person stories.
Yup, and I went out of my way to avoid that trope.
>shape of The Tower
This isn't something I mention in the story, so I have no right to dictate how people think of it, but I imagine The Tower as fully overground, and the cave vibe comes from how huge and raw it is.
>On the other, those are more mysteries for the reader than mysteries in the story itself, so I don't know if they justify the tag yet.
I actually asked around (>>39782122), and the response I generally got was that [Mystery] can also just be about mysteries for the reader.

>>41038082
Ah. I thought you were asking about why the occasion.

>>41038008
This was peak cringekino grimderp soulslop

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https://www.fimfiction.net/story/454729/the-primrose-war
did anyone ever gotten around to reading this to see if it was good?

>>41038139
>The Tower
>fully underground
Why do you call it The Tower then?

Besides, "hard AU" stories rarely do well on Fimfic, so your lack of readership is sad, but honestly not surprising. Perhaps next time go for a "soft AU", where at least Equestria itself is intact. Dang, I hope you didn't sunk cost'd this fic too hard, because it must be bad getting so little readership for so much work

>>41038199
>>fully underground
>underground
I'm afraid you misread, anon.
Currently don't have any AU of my own lined up, but if I do ever write a soft AU fic it'll be that Sombra-rules-Equestria timeline I've been thinking about since 2016.
And yeah, for a while I did feel bad about putting so much work into something that got relatively little attention, but I don't really see it as a waste of time, given that I like the end result, and that I've learnt a lot in the process.

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What do you think of Alcohol in Equestria? Is it OOC for ponies to spike their BAC, possibly getting charged with DUIs?

>>41038489
I don't see why alcohol wouldn't exist in Equestria, but I doubt that alcoholism is a significant problem.
>getting charged with DUIs
Nigga they're pulling their own carriages.

>>41038489
fimfiction.net/story/40882/a-mug-of-hard-cider

My preffered take

>>41038489
Well, the show has cider and punch, it's not a stretch to assume those exist in alcoholic forms. Wine probably exists as well, but my personal headcanon is that ponies wouldn't really have a taste for harder stuff and mostly drink for flavour and to act as a social lubricant.

>>41037659
>Characters excluding spaces
As a waste of space myself, I felt that

>>41038489
*FUIs

>4300 chars again
And I was doing so well for a couple of weeks!

>>41038510
if it wasn't for fucking under the influence half of this thread wouldn't have been born.

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A different flavor of canned fish in
>/FSBC/

Very different, in fact, since this isn't even tuna. I didn't read the tags, though, so for the first two chapters I had a growing fear of this fic doing ___'s grooming thing. But no, it's just a really nice story.
It's a competent AU, too. From my limited experience with them, the "one change to the show's timeline" AUs tend to either do boring retellings of the plot or go off the rails in an attempt to make themselves different. And this one is neither. It reminds me the most of TwiGuard, particularly in the way it highlights how the world and the events are different with Luna in Celestia's place. It does a good job playing with the reader's expectations, telling its own story without forgetting that it builds on what the show established. Like, it's clearly fanfiction; not in the derogatory meaning of the word, but in that it heavily relies on (You) knowing the source material to appreciate it. And I like that. We've read a lot of fics that were trying to be more of their own original stories lately.

For example, the fic doesn't waste time introducing the M6 for their one scene, instead providing a lot of detail on stuff that would not be critical to know but which shows how Luna managed Equestria and the ponies in Celestia's absence. I cannot stress how fun that part of the fic's wordbuilding is. Speaking of details, this author is a headcanon king. Batponies in this fic are great, pegasus Cadance and Blueblood lore are nice, etc.—almost everything is good. He's not a headcanon god due to a couple of his ideas directly contradicting the show (Ponyville a thousand years old? DYEWTS?) or being bad (bats named thestrals, ugh), but most of it is great. This is the part where I admit my bias, because a "pony" fimfic with Princess Luna and unicorn Twilight already earns some bonus score points, and the writing not sucking lets it keep them. I am prepared for the inevitable ascension of Twi, as is the norm in these fics, but I still hope it doesn't come to pass.

Something I noted in several spots, and I'm entirely sure how to word it, is how pleasant of a read it is in general. It's a pretty light story and the descriptions—when they show up—are all simply nice. The characters' voices are also good, and the writing is cute at times—not just with filly Twi; Luna worrying or taking AJ for a ride are also up there. You might argue that TwiGuard is a more ambitious story, but this is far above the bar I'd like good stories to clear.
If I had to contrast it with something, the fic occasionally decides to use rather non-pony words. I wouldn't mind "anybody" much, but "thestral woman" is fucking egregious, and [[third_example]] is just as bad. The mistakes are rare and often not too severe, e.g., an odd comma splice, a strange flow of one or two sentences, or a missing second space for a paragraph.
(1/2)

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>>41038531 (one second off, damn)
(2/2)
Oh, right. I need the help of our local demonologists to answer a question I have: is Shimmer being a Witch, burning down her orphanage, having a pair of linked journals for communication with the Princess, and later getting interested in Zebrican shamanism something inspired by the official media, or is it a blatant The Witch of the Everfree nod? If it's the former, then I'll need to really lower my opinion of TWotE. But not this fic; I think it's fine to incorporate good worldbuilding from other stories when it's applicable. I could do without the (thankfully infrequent) non-pony references here, though.

And now I'll need to come clean about something. I didn't want to initially, but I ended up following tuna's advice. I skipped the prologue after about one page of it. I could see where it was going and what would happen in it, and I knew I'd dislike it. I will, sadly, have to go back and reread it because simply ignoring its existence wouldn't be fair to the fic, but I'll do that later, maybe after Celestia shows up in the fic for real. So if you're wondering why I'm not writing 1000 words about how much that part sucked, this is why.

[VOTING]
Next week we're finishing this fic, so we get to vote on what comes after.
Nominations are always welcome provided (You) will read it, but current suggestions include:
>fimfiction.net/story/159465/brothers-and-sisters
>fimfiction.net/story/532616/the-witless
>fimfiction.net/story/81260/subjunctive
>fimfiction.net/story/56774/alarm-clock

>>41038531
I still think it should've been Trixie in Twilight's place. My biological mare got robbed.

>>41038531
This fic seems okay, I guess. Similar idea to Extended Cut, but less intense, and with some variations the canon events. Also, Celestia is blue for some reason.

Seriously, my biggest disappointment with this fic is its portrayal of Luna. In almost every situation, she does exactly what Celestia would have done. Even her dialogue sounds like Celestia a lot of the time. The setting of Equestria as of the start of the fic is nearly identical to canon, despite being ruled by the opposite princess for 1000 years. Every single "Celestia (Blue)" moment feels like a huge missed opportunity, and there are a lot of them in this fic.

>>41038536
She's blue
Da ba de da ba di

>>41038531
>Ponyville a thousand years old? DYEWTS?
If you do, it and Granny Smith are like 200 so not even that much departure.
>or being bad (bats named thestrals, ugh)
What are you, a transphile? The word predates Rowling considerably and means "of the dark". It also sounds better than vesperquine or sarosian or all other bullshit that people make up just so they don't associate with them icky "bat pony"es.
>>41038532
>pair of linked journals
Directly from the official media.
>the rest of it
Headcanons.

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>>41038534
Trixie is great (and powerful) so I'd definitely read that fic, but it'd just be a different story. The fun part in this is changing one cog and watching the world continue, adding Trixie would just veer into a more original story. Which could've been better or worse.

>>41038536
Wow. The literal opposite of that take has been one of the things I've enjoyed the most about this fic. Obviously, ruling Equestria well means that some decisions will eventually converge to a similar point, but she's doing everything differently. It's immediately highlighted in the way she handles nobles, speeches, bat ponies, and all the royal business in general, but her tutelage of Twi is also way different, causing things to go along a different path. Things like her openness about Celestia (to a degree) and the 1000th SSC, or how she doesn't get into a fight with Sunset, or...
Basically, that's what this fic is. I might be a little moonstruck here, and it's not done to the degree of TwiGuard, but I'm certainly not THAT wrong. I hope?

>>41038554
Yeah, FiM's Granny Smith is ancient, but while it's a stretch, it's not that much of a stretch. Having Tia&Luna establish the city is an order of magnitude worse. And it conflicts with my preferred headcanon of Celestia sending the Apples there to have a town prepared for Luna's return. Clearly, conflicting with my headcanon is the most severe offense a fic could commit.
>spoiler
I know it's my fault for bringing it up, but please let's not have this discussion again. I personally don't like the HP association -- the word is older, but using it for bat ponies is something we got from HP -- and I like the alternatives better. Or just bat ponies/batponies, please.
>headcanons
Good to know, thanks.

>>41038531
>it highlights how the world and the events are different with Luna in Celestia's place
>I cannot stress how fun that part of the fic's wordbuilding is.
I feel like you and I didn't read the same fic. The major difference here is not Celestia being blue, it's the lack of a timeline for the banished princess's return. This is what causes the Elements to get pushed back from the S1 opener to S2, which is the biggest divergence from canon. The other lore changes like Sunset, pegasus Cadance, adopted Blueblood, and thestrals as the fourth tribe are just minor adjustments to bring the story in line with popular headcanons. Other changes, like Luna being in the room for Twilight's entrance exam instead of rushing in right afterward, are just rerolls of canon - somepony makes a slightly different random choice, which results in a slightly different outcome, but it's close enough that it makes no real difference. (In particular, wanting to see the foals in person seems like exactly the kind of thing Celestia would do, if she happened to have a few hours free that day.)

After writing this, it seems like this is really just a fixfic. Celestia (Blue) is just an excuse and has almost no impact on the fic. The actual differences all come from retelling canon with the author's headcanons applied and some plot holes fixed up. In particular, I think the Elements were delayed to avoid the weirdness of "you've known these ponies for twelve hours but the magic decided that you're BFFs now". Fortunately, the author has exceptionally good taste in headcanon.

>>41038532
>is Shimmer being a Witch, burning down her orphanage, having a pair of linked journals for communication with the Princess, and later getting interested in Zebrican shamanism something inspired by the official media, or is it a blatant The Witch of the Everfree nod?
The journals are from EqG2 - they're how Sunset tells Pony Twilight to come back to barbieland. Burning down the orphanage I thought for sure was canon, but I looked it up and apparently it's just a really popular fanon. The rest I don't think is particularly widespread.

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>>41038531
Love this one so far, and apparently I had already read all but the last two chapters (hopefully nothing bad happened right before that). Just show-tier stakes in a Luna focused AU. Enough is different to where I can't just expect everything from the show to happen, and it's written in a way where even if it does happen, it might just be completely skipped over or happen off screen. The pony antics are top notch and nothing weird is happening to make me double check the rating, just ponies being cute or panicked but not in life threatening situations. I just checked the rating and it's not what I expected ^:)
>"she made the decision. She would keep flying east"
>Luna just watches twilights magic flare and laughs when magic hits her
>"she wondered if you got lost, or if you were poorly."
this is used twice and I've never seen it before which just struck me as unusual
>time skipping away from filly twilight
rude
>story mentions Twilight and Luna's adventures: "Of course these adventures could be dangerous; they’d combated an incursion of changelings in Los Pegasus"
>proceeds to fail to identify one and then specifically make the most infiltratable guard patterns in the capital leading up to one of the biggest days in recent memory
Well, we ended the week on the biggest idiot ball moment it seems like

>>41038531
>It reminds me the most of TwiGuard, particularly in the way it highlights how the world and the events are different with Luna in Celestia's place.
Ah, I hadn't thought of it but it really is the same. Just instead of Twi-Shining swap it's Luna-Tia swap
>For example, the fic doesn't waste time introducing the M6 for their one scene
wow, it's almost upsetting how refreshing it is when this doesn't happen
>(Ponyville a thousand years old? DYEWTS?)
The real question is did was Granny Smith still there at the beginning?
>how pleasant of a read it is in general. It's a pretty light story
Absolutely, I think it's trying and succeeding to stay show level in a lot of things. Luna's thoughts and descriptions of Discord the evil spirit kinda blew stuff out of proportion to what really happened, which was him having a non-consensual talent show in ponyville till they get the elements together kek
>The mistakes are rare and often not too severe, e.g., an odd comma splice, a strange flow of one or two sentences
That's pretty much the one thing I took note of, this author didn't hold back with the comma usage
>>41038532
>skipped prologue
kek
VOTE
the witless because I'm scared of the rest

>>41038534
>>>>>>>>>

>>41038536
>Also, Celestia is blue for some reason.
kek, i agree to a lesser extent. There are some points early on where it tells us some differences but we never see them. Like we should've gotten a scene by now where Luna absolutely btfo someone in court for trying to lie to her, but it just said she hate's it and we never see it. The only real difference is 4 schools, bats, and more scenes happen at night.

>>41038532
>the witless
I want fillysenpai to notice me

>>41038567
>Things like her openness about Celestia (to a degree) and the 1000th SSC
I admit I wasn't expecting the 1000th to just come and go
and also I think you're both right (somewhat contrary to what I just typed) but focusing on different parts about blue celestia, lots and lots of things change but at the same time a lot of things are the same. I think I was focused on what it was describing explicitly as different when I responded to the other post, but in reality everything that is in the story that is different from the show is what is different about Luna ruling. The 1000th as you said, the bats and night time like I said, you could argue Cadance is a pegasus because it's Luna not Tia, all sorts of little or not so little things honestly
>The fun part in this is changing one cog and watching the world continue
Good way of putting it.
>And it conflicts with my preferred headcanon of Celestia sending the Apples there to have a town prepared for Luna's return
Does Luna love apples?
>Gets ridden by AJ in this fic
I guess so

>>41038578
>The other lore changes are just minor adjustments to bring the story in line with popular headcanons
Well, you can hardly say there's no changes and then point to half the changes and just say it's trying to appease popular headcanon / canon reroll. I'm not sure how to say this but having the changes be bigger and more impactful exponentially works against a fic that is this show-like in my opinion. It would get more and more AU and thus further and further from the show in a way that I don't think the vast majority of authors could handle. As rarifag brought up, Twiguard essentially changes one thing and then the story starts there and you simply follow along and watch how things change based on the one difference. Here the same thing kinda happens but I think you expected a larger difference since the change is very soon followed by a 1,000 year timeskip.

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>>41038578
>it's the lack of a timeline for the banished princess's return
Honestly, that's a good point of divergence, too. But many of these "minor adjustments" are headcanons that make sense for Luna to do and since -- as we both noted -- the author's headcanon taste is great, they alone justify the swap. And the minor things, like Luna being more direct or taking AJ for a ride, are also nice while ensuring she doesn't feel like Celestia. I might have exaggerated the significance of the changes, but how prevalent they are makes a difference. If you undo the swap and write just the straight "no timeline NMM" fic, it'd be way more boring despite the core of the story staying similar.
Looking back at what I've written, I guess you could summarize it as Luna-Celestia swap creating a ton of opportunities for really great fluff. I do think it's more important than that, but it's close enough to the truth.
>wanting to see the foals
Sure, Celestia would also like that. But she could be busy and unable to find the time, whereas I can buy the fic's idea of Luna preferring to stay in their company over the nobles and dignitaries.
>just a fixfic
No, surely not. If this is a fixfic, then so is pretty much every show-level AU, and at that point I think your definition is too broad. This is just an AU that actively tries to remain close to the original universe of the show.

>>41038594
> Just show-tier stakes in a Luna focused AU
Indeed, that's what it is. Done well, and without attempting to be what it's not.
>I just checked the rating and it's not what I expected ^:)
I was about to agree that it's a nice E fic, and then I saw that it's T. Might be due to the mentioned deaths in the C&L post-Discord era? They're not emphasized so you might try to sneak that in an E fic (and why it doesn't feel out of place here), but ponies getting killed by monsters is probably crossing the line. Still, E would've been a better fit so far imo.
>>time skipping away from filly twilight
>rude
That was a very cute chapter. Shame that we never got anything like it in the show, but this makes up for it.
>was Granny Smith still there at the beginning?
Apples are 1000 years old here, so maybe? It's more likely that the author forgot that episode.
>Luna's thoughts and descriptions of Discord the evil spirit
Well, he planned to take over Equestria by force. Just because he's still FiM's Discord doesn't mean he's not a threat. But yes, this fic does a fantastic job staying show-level.

>>41038642
>everything that is in the story that is different from the show is what is different about Luna ruling
That's certainly the impression I got, too. It'd be much harder to sell this AU with Celestia still on the throne. And it's good that this AU manages to sell itself, because it's mostly just a very nice AU. In hindsight, I don't think most of the changes were overly significant to the "plot", but this fic is more than just its main plot; the LunAU is supposed to be part of the content.

>>41038532
Voting the witless again.

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>>41038531
My first of two favorite things about this fic is the way it subverts your expectations regarding canon. The first chapter starts with something that’s almost like Twilight’s cutie mark story, but just has a ton of little details replaced so that there is never a feeling of just reading a transcript of the episode. The other parts really go off on tangents, streamlining some part that’s not that important to the AU or expanding on or replacing another part that is. Or being the whole lead in and fakeout with the summer sun celebration I really like the way that the author is picking and choosing canon to keep. The first reference to Cadance being a pegasus is blink-and-you’ll-miss it, so I’m wondering if Rariflag saw it.

The other one is how chilled out so many scenes are. It was great to end the first chapter on such a silly scene with Tiberius. The author is really good with smalltalk and close, intimate scenes. I like the way that it doesn’t skip over the scenes where Luna is all bandaged up after her scuffle with the siren, and she’s just relaxing. Luna herself is really chilled out, too.

Anyway, I generally remember what happened in this assigned section, but one chapter I went out of my way to re-read was the siren one. It made me realize how I want to read more short stories about a pair from Twilight, Luna and Celestia going on a short adventure to some part of Equestria like this. In addition to that, I really like the dynamic between Luna and Twilight here, such as the way Luna was able to deploy Twilight onto the problem while herself opting to be seen instead. Following that, I liked the way Twilight took charge of the rescue party to bring its conclusion, even if Sunset helped her not spazz out. It reads like a callback to Twilight taking charge in Dragonshy in so many ways.

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>>41038532
Glad you were able to improve your enjoyment of the fic by almost entirely skipping over the first chapter.
I'm sure that the "thestral woman" was a mistake, and I reported a batch of them to the author before posting the >review, hoping they would get fixed by now, but they've been offline since February.

>>41038536
>Celestia (Blue)
She really isn't. I know she doesn't act totally like Luna in most fics, but one of the main differences she has from Celestia is being way more down to earth. I think it makes sense that ruling Equestria for a millennium would file off Luna's sharp edges, but that didn't make her like Celestia. The fic has a bunch of scenes similar to the one in which she's struggling with memorizing a speech, while, if you were writing Celestia (blue), she would just breeze through it.

The fic is also fully leveraging its AUness, and having Luna be way more hooves-on than Celestia ever was in the show. She showed up for the Summer Sun Celebration, as well as the Discord fight, and the fic is including her in its alt timeline scenes in places where Celestia generally wouldn't show up much or at all if it were sticking to her canon characterization.I don't think it missed any real opportunities to distinguish how the AU is different with Luna in charge.

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>>41038689
One thing I forgot to add that is really pervasive in the fic is the feeling that Equestria just has unlimited resources, and the way it influences the ponies to just relax. It's reflected in Luna's arbitrary decision to build a railroad to Condense's backwater town just so they can conveniently attend the wedding, but also in the way that Luna drops everything and instantly deploys most of the guard to Hollow Shades just because 7 ponies are missing across 2 weeks.

The fic has a bunch of this and it just seems to radiate this worldbuilding flavor that the ponies really don't have that much to worry about.

>>41038689
lewd Twilight
>My first of two favorite things about this fic is the way it subverts your expectations regarding canon
>The other parts really go off on tangents, streamlining some part that’s not that important to the AU or expanding on or replacing another part that is
yeah, very close to the show but just enough so you don't know what's coming next
>The author is really good with smalltalk and close, intimate scenes
Yes, absolutely nailed the comfy ponyness in many scenes like this
>Siren
Kinda surprised no one explicitly mentioned it till now, but I loved that arc, it was like the make it or break it moment for maintaining show-level stakes or not and in the end it really nailed it. Just a lonely creature who didn't really hurt anyone

>>41038704
>but they've been offline since February.
._.7
>Blestia
It's an interesting dynamic to think about since nobody liked Luna and then she said 'fine I'll give you something to not like' but in the AU we have Everypony liking celestia, and Celestia trying to get rid of Luna. Ponies who werent at the castle probably didn't even know what happened for a while and it would've been much easier for both princesses to maintain a good appearance after this. Which makes it easy to explain why Luna readily talks about Celestia, and why she readily maintains the summer sun celebration and all sorts of other little things

>>41038720
as it should be in equestria

>>41038008
The first longfic I read

>>41038594
>Like we should've gotten a scene by now where Luna absolutely btfo someone in court for trying to lie to her, but it just said she hate's it and we never see it
Yeah, this. The fic would be vastly improved by a scene or two in which Luna does something decidedly un-Celestia-like

>>41038670
>But many of these "minor adjustments" are headcanons that make sense for Luna to do
The problem is that they also make sense for Celestia to do. If this fic had Celestia (White) in charge, then it would just be Extended Cut Jr., roughly following canon but cleaning up the details to make more sense, and I would probably be a lot happier with it. Instead, this fic sells itself as a Luna AU and then completely fails to be one.

>the minor things, like Luna being more direct or taking AJ for a ride, are also nice while ensuring she doesn't feel like Celestia
I could absolutely see canon Celestia giving AJ a ride

>>41038704
>I don't think it missed any real opportunities to distinguish how the AU is different with Luna in charge.
I disagree with a lot of your points here, but this one is downright delusional. Luna has had a thousand years to gradually mold the country, her court, the nobles, and ponies' expectations of her, and in every case she apparently chose do to it in a way that is fully canon-compatible. The one and only exception is that ponies say "four tribes" instead of "three tribes". That is absolutely wasting the potential of this AU.

>>41038781
my first was Background Pony
I did a lot of skimming but that's because it was also one of the first fanfics I read

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>>41038689
>the way it subverts your expectations regarding canon
Taking such a good stance regarding canon does a lot to make this fic great. While obviously I enjoy fics which separate themselves more (like the aforementioned TwiGuard), this is about as close as you can get to the show without having it start to weigh down on your story. Not that you can't write a fic like that, but then the original events would start to be a hindrance, instead of making the fic better. It's another one of those stories which are not grand and ambitious adventures, but which simply manage to really succeed at what they're doing. Which is a lot of words to say that I'd like to see show-adjacent AUs be written like this one.
>Cadance being a pegasus
I'd never miss it.
>The other one is how chilled out so many scenes are.
I agree, and this -- combined with your other point about Equestria's resources -- helps set the mood for the story that's trying (and succeeding) to be very FiM-like. Which does make me question the T rating, but maybe it's something for the second week.

>>41038751
>lewd Twilight
Of course you'd like that semi-anthro pose. Which is a shame; the pic is very nice aside from that.
>>Siren
>it was like the make it or break it moment for maintaining show-level stakes or not
It slipped my mind as I was writing the post, but I completely agree. It's precisely the point where a more edgy or realistic adventure would punish the siren in some way for the kidnappings, but we're in a ponyfic so she gets a good end, too. I was worried the kidnapped ponies would be dead or something, and that my enjoyment of the fic would take a sharp drop, but none of that happened and we stayed on the kino course.

>>41038831
>The fic would be vastly improved by a scene or two in which Luna does something decidedly un-Celestia-like
I think you're focusing on a specific depiction of Luna, and can't accept this fic's Luna since she's not your Luna. Tuna phrased precisely the thing I wanted to say much better, so I'll repeat that this Luna makes a lot of sense after a thousand years spent running Equestria and being forced to act in her subjects' best interests (which includes remaining a "proper" ruler). She may still hate dealing with nobles, but she knows better than to snap at them out of the blue.
Plus, we even get something un-Celestia-like: iirc she delegates Raven to deal with the nobles, which I don't see Celestia doing so readily.

Still no signs of Hailey Potter.

>>41038899
there IS a sign of numbers
checked

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/556309/relapse
>Poochie tortures ponies
>Poochie most affected
lol

>>41038900
Nice.

>>41038899
>Hailey Potter
Oh what's that?
That what you want?
You want a Spiderwick Chronicles x Harry Potter FanFiction? You want it on fimfiction.org OR FanFiction.net?
You want OH
you want uhh
you want a Fablehaven x Grim crosover?
Fanfiction on fimfiction.org?
You want a uhhhh
a uhhhh
SSB ties with Mass Effect: Andromeda x Fallout: Equestria Fic written by ME?
I'll hoop you uk.
I mean, uhh...
I'll hook you pp

>>41038489
Basically what >>41038496 said.

>>41023612
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/496343/
>She declared eternal day
Damn, reading some of the book club posts actually made me interested in this fic. I don't think I've ever lost interest in a fic so fast.

>>41039928
The key is skipping the prologue. It's a neat trick.

>>41038531
Very sorry for being this late, hopefully next week works out better (it won't). This may be the single fic with the widest swings in quality I have ever read. We go from the excellent, if not quite Requiem tier prologue (see? I spoke of Requiem in a positive light for once!) to a first chapter that is so much of a mess at its worst that the whiplash is honestly so great that if I didn't know for sure things went otherwise I would have guessed the prologue itself was written last after the whole fic. The scene where Twilight gets her cutie mark is an utter disaster, all paced wrong and poorly written, and many other parts have similar problems. The fic gets better, a lot better, but it still occasionally has pacing issues in certain scenes. The Elements one was unfortunately one of those, but it wasn't too bad. The fic has other flaws, too, chief among them the sheer misuse of commas. In general there are an annoying amount of typos and lack of polish, though not as bad as some other fics.
The story does get better though, and I am quite enjoying my time with it. I like all the ways it's different but similar to canon. In general I like AUs for this exact reason, but here it's very nice specifically to see all the subtle different choices Luna made compared to Celestia. Although it also feels like there are AU elements besides Tia going insane first (which is a very nice scene and well justified), like Ponyville existing sooner and Discord happening earlier too. I'm not sure how I feel about that, honestly, but it's not too distracting so far. I look forward to seeing what exactly happened with Celestia and when she'll come back, which seems like it'll be the climax of this fic. First is the changeling wedding though. I'm actually a bit worried about continuity here, because apparently Twi and Luna already know about changelings and I hope the author remembered that.
I liked a lot of bits about this fic, to be honest. Sunset! She's very nice, and it's good to know Moonbutt didn't fuck her up like Sunny did. And I appreciate the clear WotE references. Also, the scene with the statues of Luna's students has very heavy Submachine vibes to me, it reminds me of one particular scene that talking about would be a great spoiler, so I won't. I know it's just a me thing, but it's nice. I like the siren. This fic is surprisingly EQG and comics and books inspired, so that's nice. I think. I'm not a fan of the chosen bappone naming, but it is what it is. Young Twilight was very cute, and Spike too, though I am a bit bothered by the implications the story seems to have regarding the canon version of events. Discord was delightful. The statues playing cards was funny and a highlight of the fic. I'm looking forward to the rest of the story. Hopefully reading through the posts'll bring to mind stuff I forgot to comment on. I'm sure there is something but nothing is coming to mind, maybe as a result of reading almost the whole thing in a bit of a rush.

>>41038531
>gif
Cute!
>tags
I wonder if the sad tag is justified. I wouldn't say it is for now. Oh, another thing I remembered. The fic first claims Luna's wounds get worse with the cold and better in the summer, but then that she prefers the cold to the summer. It's part of why I'm worried about changelings and the author forgetting the throwaway mention he already made. Luna should recognise the 'maimed leg' for what it really is. Oh, and another thing. This fic is aggressively British, even with Shining's name, which I typically avoid even if I use armour in regular spelling. Oh and the author got a thee/thou very wrong in one of the flashbacks.
>it's clearly fanfiction; not in the derogatory meaning of the word, but in that it heavily relies on (You) knowing the source material to appreciate it
That's a very fair assessment.
>We've read a lot of fics that were trying to be more of their own original stories lately
Not that that's bad. Right?
>but I still hope
You have faith?
>not just with filly Twi; Luna
Luna is very cute indeed, especially with Tibbles.
>thestral woman
That stood out to me too. Almost as bad as the staircase scene from ToD that needs to be reworded.
>>41038532
>our local demonologists
I like that title. To answer your question: The linked diaries are canon. You should know that. Shimmer being an orphan is a *very* popular headcanon, because the alternative opens up more holes in her already patchy backstory. Her being at odds with Cadance is a popular hc too. Her burning down the orphanage is in line with her canon character, whose main flaw even post redemption is violent outbursts of anger, but combined with the very specific Witch title and Zebra ties I'm confident this is all a WotE nod.
>I skipped the prologue after about one page of it
You are insane. The prologue is easily the best part of the fic so far, though some of the better parts come close to it.
>and I knew I'd dislike it
I don't see why you would, and the story makes constant callbacks to it and efforts to give further context to what you see. You should read it.
>voting
It'll conflict with week 3 of WOSS, but I guess I'll vote for Witless like everyone seems to be doing. I want to read Subjunctive too afterwards though.
>>41038536
>In almost every situation, she does exactly what Celestia would have done
I think you're outright wrong, and the subtle differences between them are one of my favourite parts of the story. So is seeing how much things beyond her are the same in spite of her being there instead. Moreover, I think it's inevitable for her to feel a bit like Tia. We are the sum of our experiences, and now she has the 1000 years Celestia has in canon. She's bound to be somewhat like her. Still, she didn't fumble Sunset, for one.
>>41038554
>it and Granny Smith are like 200 so not even that much departure
Anon, that's a 400% departure.
>spoiler
Batponies aren't even properly canon anyway.

>>41038567
>but I'm certainly not THAT wrong. I hope?
No, you're right for once, despite your flag indicating your poor taste.
>Clearly, conflicting with my headcanon is the most severe offense a fic could commit.
On that we can agree.
>>41038578
>somepony makes a slightly different random choice, which results in a slightly different outcome
But that's FUN.
>you've known these ponies for twelve hours but the magic decided that you're BFFs now
Which is an artefact of the NMM plot originally being meant as an entire season's plot, IIRC.
>Burning down the orphanage
I actually had to double check her comics issue to make sure. The orphanage burning is in a different MLP comic, and I was getting them mixed up for a moment. She does have very fiery magic in her own comic though.
>>41038594
Hey, you didn't even join the other club.
>gif
Based. I'd shill a fic of mine but it's nohooves.
>I just checked the rating and it's not what I expected
Opening with a character death probably bumps it past E; the show would never do that.
>we ended the week on the biggest idiot ball moment it seems like
But I thought the orb was supposed to be Celestia's.
>The real question is did was Granny Smith still there at the beginning?
Besides your mid-sentence stroke, we actually get an answer. She probably wasn't, but the Apples were indeed around since near the start.
>>41038610
Understandable.
>>41038642
>Does Luna love apples?
DYEWTS?
>>41038670
>No, surely not.
Agreed, this is pretty far from what a fixfic is and never feels like one.
>>41038689
>the siren one
I didn't particularly like how they just stumbled onto the solution on first try, but it's an overall good chapter aside from that. I really liked the underwater scene. I wrote underground by accident. I'm tired.
>>41038704
>they've been offline since February.
February of last year, anon. 14 months. It's time to let go.
>>41038720
>the feeling that Equestria just has unlimited resources
I feel that's in line with canon, but I know this also strokes your kinks.
>>41038831
>The fic would be vastly improved by a scene or two in which Luna does something decidedly un-Celestia-like
But there's plenty of those already. I feel like you're mixing up your canon and fanon Celestias.
>The problem is that they also make sense for Celestia to do
See, this. It doesn't matter that 'it makes sense'. That's not what canon Tia is like.
>That is absolutely wasting the potential of this AU
You're not wrong on this, though, but the fic you want is simply not the fic this wants to be. By all means Twilight shouldn't even have been born with a change this big this far back. But I like the idea that destiny is immutable around Luna, and I like the story this fic decides to tell with its premise.