Previous thread: >>41354823Welcome to the Thread! Kinderquestria/Anon in pone prison focuses on the world and adventures of naive child like ponies and the misadventures and shenanigans of Anon that results in him going to prison! To get a good handle on how things are done around here I implore you to check out our new and improved one stop shop of kinder greens and prompts here >> https://ponepaste.org/7630
>>41509340It's really weird to not be the one who posted the new bread but it's good to know there are others willing to help out as well.
>>41509497Why do they call it helping out when you help in the post out hot eat the-I don't know this is just a distraction so Sweetie Belle can read your diary
>>41509710that little shite!
i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!! i want to have sex with fillies!!!!!!!
>>41509954yes. You may have sex with the fillies.
>>41509954Translator's note: 'sex' is what kinderponies call jumping on the bed
>>41510092damn butters must be an animal in bed
pre bed boop
Is Kinderquestria basically modernized G3?
>>41510836Don't think Im weird, but centipede pony is cute.
>>41510976The spider, too.
>>41510976Imagine the rapid clopping of hooves as she approaches.
>>41512226GET THE FUCK OUT FROM BEHIND THAT BOULDER, MARBLE
>>41511702>Bugponies have bug legs ending in hoovesWas Slepnir just a spider pony who got lost?
>>41510976She gives hugs
>>41512949Cute!
>>41512226Ah yes, here we see evolution by natural selection. The Marble has evolved over millenia to have a dull coat and mane, perfect for blending in with the stark, rugged, rocky terrain around her. This allows the Marble to avoid detection by predators, thus increasing her chances of passing on her beneficial genes to future generations of Marbles.
>>41513216Unfortunately, this Marble was too well-camouflaged. Her potential mates will be unable to find her unless she finds the inner strength to call out "Polo."
>>41513216must've also selected for cuteness too
>>41513216>Anon has watched too much Steve Irwin and Nature Documentaries.>Ends up in Kinderquestria>He is also a retard, so when he decides to start a made up on the fly biology documentary, he mistakenly separates the ponies by color instead of race.>Also belives the names of the ponies are the name of their Species/Subspecies.>"And here we see the land dweller distant cousin of the cross eyed Ditzies">"The Marble">"These creatures make their nests in rocky fields, quarries and similar places.">"It's not uncommon to see them poking their lil' heads from behind the stones, ready to alert the other Marbels of threats or predators.">"You see they are very good at hiding, their fur makes them almost impossible to see.">"Let's see if we can get a little closer">"Oh! Oh! Hey! Shh, she saw us, they have pretty good eyesight.">"Let's step back a bit, let her know are not a threat, don't want to scare her off">"Look, her ears are relaxing.">"Ain't she a beauty?"
>>41514592she's creepy but also cute, would hug.
>>41514592The most infuriating thing about this is AntLyra being a foot fetishist instead of a hand fetishist.
>>41510092Its also how they get pregnant. Couples jump on beds until they have kids. This is why selling beds is so profitable in kinderquestria.
>>41515825Five Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed is snuff porn to a kinderpony?
>>41514429>Ah, a majestic example of Ponkius Pie-latius>Here we see evolution in action- note her pawing action>This, combined with her rock-hard hooves, makes her uniquely adapted for nesting in wooden floors>In a few short years, she'll have dug a rut to lay her eggs>Ponkii who fail to do this will often lose their eggs to the cunning Rainbow Dash
>>41514429>>41517526It would be extra hilarious to see the Ponies' POV, too!
>>41516544Yes. Off limits for fillies.
>>41517968>>41517526>Silly Anon>He doesn't realize this IS Rainbow Dash's egg>I'm just guarding it for her>Teehee>Imagine if Earth Ponies laid eggs>That's too silly even for me!>And I'm the avatar of silly!
>>41519156>The pudgy and crepuscular Twilight!>We're rather fortunate, my fair viewers- she's just finished a hunt!>Nature is fascinating, but she can also be cruel- parents may wish to have their children look away.>Done? Good. Now, as we discussed on the previous episode:>The Book is an invasive species that infests libraries and reading rooms.>Ponies will often wrangle excess books and leave them as offerings to predatory readers. This not only clears their nesting grounds of unwanted pests, but keeps the apex predators sated.>This mutualism between many pony species and predatory readers such as the Twilight is just one example of how nature foments friendship between the oddest couples->Oh dear! I do hope sensitive viewers heeded my warning! Look at her go!>The queen of the thatch jungle, with her massive absorption lenses, subdues the book and extracts mental sustenance from their bodies after cracking it wide open!>Oh the humanity!>As I've said many times- Nature is cruel. It's just the way of things.>She's getting tired now- after each feeding, a Twilight must sleep for at least 14 hours to digest her intellectual meal.>Look at her- you could almost forget the show she just put on, eh? So cute->Dear God! I can't believe it- keep your voices low. It seems- yes, we're getting a Spike!>Yet another mutualistic relationship- the Twilight protects the Spike from larger examples of its family like the Garble and the Discord. The Spike feeds on the dust and microbial scum produced from the Twilight's feedings, keeping her nest clean and free of parasitic Moondancers!>"Twilight, the weird guy is back.">"I know.">"He's saying weird things like you eat books and books will take over-">"Yes.">"It doesn't make you mad?">"Why? It's technically correct. All books must be pre-read by a Princess in case there's a monster inside.">"That's not what he said and you know it- you don't get full from reading!">"No, but sleeping helps your brain process information, so again- technically correct. From a certain perspective.">"You're just smitten because he said your eyes were big and good at readering, aren't you?">"Go to bed, Spike."
If you ever find yourself being accosted by a rambunctious mare who won't leave you alone, remember that you can always use The Sweater Technique to harmlessly incapacitate her.Simply slip The Sweater over her head and pop her head out of the provided Head Hole and watch her eyes widen as she realizes she has been thoroughly Sweater'd.Please note that side effects of The Sweater Technique include: Poutiness, Embarrassment, Bargaining, Flailing, Sleepiness, and of course, Acceptance.If you wish to resuscitate a mare prematurely, all you need is to pull the sweater off her and offer a tall glass of chocolate milk and her favorite cookie.For what to do if a mare is allergic or has no favorite cookie, refer to page 13 of your instruction booklet.
>>41519254KEK>>41519555czeched also makes them cute as hell
>>41519555Instructions do not work on half-mares it just makes them more holiday-cheerysend help
>>41520078You're on your own brother
>>41520078I guess that means resisting her is a Hopeless endeavor.
>>41521169PINKARLOS!
>9nom
>>41523387>The Anonfilly, common as fleas->"HEY!">"This guy talking shit about us???">Oh dear, the colony has been alerted to my presence!>Despite what Jaws tells you, predators will usually go for the easier meal- they're not psychotically murderous.>Let's throw some bread to cover our escape!>"Ooh, free bread!"
>>41519254funny
>>41529136Cute!
>>41530698kek
Pony got into your cupboardWanted flowers to snack onThings did not go as planned but she had fun anyways
>>41531148based
>>41531148Someone call the ghostbusters! There's a ghost mare in my cupboard!
>>41531148I'm gonna grab her and rub her on a pan (we're making cookies)
Boop
>>41534252Muffin with a muffin
>>41534983>Ah nature you cruel mistress.>The majestic Rainbow Dash, had found herself stranded.>While agile and powerful in the skies, here, bounded to the ground, is nothing more than easy prey.Anon stop this isn't funny!>She tries to screech and shout, to call for help and to try and intimidate nearby threats, but it's only a desperate attempt to cling to survival.Anon stop being a meanie!!>But Why? Why did this creature decided to seek her own demise by leaving the clouds behind? A question left unanswered>The rules are to not interfere nor disturb, no matter how much we want to.An-on sto-o-op!>Experts say that even if we freed her and reunited her with the other Dashes, she would try to get herself stuck and stranded again, head diving straight to another trap.Ano-o-on! You can't still be mad for that birdhouse! I said I was sorry.>In the end, this is the cycle of life... and there is nothing we can do about-*Sniff* Anon please...>Uhh-... LOOK VIEWERS! The rare sight of an AppleJacket courting ritual, observe how she makes a nest with apples!-The camera is left on the ground heading another direction where Applejack is playing with apples.--Offcamera the sounds of wing ruffling, anon trying to comfort Rainbow Dash and finally some wing flapping->It's a miracle!>The Rainbow Dash managed to unbind herself and find the will to seek life and soar the skies again!>Nature truly can surprise us with miracles from time to time!
>>41535642"And that's how it happened, Twi!">Twilight Scrunchle scrunched twilily>"I don't know, Rainbow dash.""What's there to get, huh?">"While I love watching Applejack play with apples as much as the next pony-">The hypothetical camera pans to a packed stadium with Applejack playing appley-sack>"I can't shake the lingering smell of VIOLATED OBSERVATION PROTOCOLS.">>>"Wait so you don't care that I was stuck in a storm drain?"
>>41535502she's gonna be doing laps around the room all through naptime and then is gonna crash hard.
>>41535642>>41535891KEK GOLD!
>>41536128It won't be empty after I put some cheez-its in her mouth
>>41536376Proof of best horse10/10 would share my Cheez-its with
>>41536128cute wife
>10
>Ponies can't see red>Anon gets an exclusive edition of Rainbow Dash (33% cooler)>Rainbow Dash is jealous of his ability to think she's even more awesome
>>41535642>that birdhouseMakes a change, normally it's the fountain. And I'll keep being mad about that as long as those FUCKING BIRDBRAINS KEEP PLAYING IN IT>>41535891>storm drainIsn't that a cattle grid?
>>41539220It might be, but consider how pegasi are the source of Equestrian weather, and how Rainbow Dash is stuck in it. Does this not mean that it is draining a storm?
>"Join the church of the Sisters Divine!""We have snacks!">"They've very good, I had three!"
>>41540484why is she so fucking cute goddammit!
>>41540498She's very enthusiastic!On another note, I find the notion of Anon accidentally starting a cult in worship of the princesses and having to wrangle in his rambunctious followers so they don't accidentally scare their fellow pones to be kinda funny.
>>41540531based! that's a cute premise would be nice to see a green of! love your shit brother! it's always cute and wholesome... even if it's horny as fuck lol TL:DR would hug the shit out of her and smooch her like the horny bastard that I am.
>SCP-Pickanumberformedammit>Containment Class: Apollyon>Destruction Risk: Low, as much as it pains Us to admit>Disruption Risk: Inevitable loss of divine mandate, leading to devaluing of currency and eventual collapse of Equestrian civilization>Special Containment Procedures:>O6 Luna is to be given fluff extensions as soon as possible.>Attempts to reduce SCP-?'s impact on trust in the pony government (by reducing SCP-?) led to seventeen separate planned chimp events across 7 families.(1)>Description:>SCP-? is an unknown force which causes satyrs to inherit the massive chest floofs of their human parents.(2)>While this phenomena is harmless when manifested on human entities, creatures with pony ancestry thus affected are almost always perceived as having an aura of authority and coolness(3) similar to their ability to bewitch human males and approximately 10% of human females.>SCP-?'s true risk to the crown was discovered when the royal guard began saluting Arianna despite her lack of any military experience whatsoever.(4)>Obviously this will not do. Ergo, refer to the special containment procedures and make my I mean Luna's chest floof utterly Sleepover Sized.(5)>1: We're pretty sure that Manehattan will be inhabitable again.>Someday.>Maybe.>2: No.>3: Technically true but->4. Ok that IS a problem but->5: LUNA THEY ARE UDDERS WE JUST NEED TO EDUCATE-(6)>6: Big chest is big. Big begets loyalty. Thy arguments fall upon deaf ears.Holy shit, captha: SATR00
>>41540802based
>>41540802Cool
>>41540484The existence of a princess implies a queen! Show us the queen!
Fresh mibble
>>41542742I’m gonna kiss you now. I don’t know when I’ll stop.
>>41542742The mibbliest mibble in all ofmibblonia
>>41539220>normally it's the fountainHow can pegasi be discouraged from frolicking around in one's water features? I considered blowdarting and plucking before releasing them as a warning to others, but that might be a little grim for Kinderquestria. Leave sugar-free gummy bears as bait? They might think that's worse. Never mind the laxative effects; are sugar-free foods (in general) considered a war crime in Kinderquestria?
>>41543078Sugar-free candy is so alien to a pony that it would not compute.
mature poners and the queenling have a lot more in common than you'd think
>>41543701Chrysalis's only crime was being hungy
>You find yourself idly sifting through your collection of coupons, sleepily planning your next trip to the store as any responsible adult would, when your loving wife Floor, tugs at the bottom of your shirt with her mouth.>Her expression was something akin to a mix of nervousness and concern."Something the matter, hon?">"Y-yeah...">She glances outside the kitchen window, and before she says another word, she shuts the blinds.>She then clears her throat and speaking in a hushed tone. "Have you uh... noticed anything weird lately? Since we moved back to Equestria...">You pause you coupon clipping for a moment."Well... I guess everyone has been particularly friendly since we came back, but I always chalked that up to Ponyville being the 'hub of friendship and comradery' or whatever...">You met Floor in Manehatten, and you remember them being a little rougher over there in the big city.>"Yeah, but it's- it's *too* friendly! And- And everypony seems so..." She circles a hoof in the air a bit. "Kiddish!""Kiddish? I mean...">Your eyes narrow.>She.. does have a point.>You don't remember ponies being so... carefree.>Everyone seems to have the rambunctious nature of a foal and never seem to tire of their silly antics...>Not only that, you've yet to meet a pony with a bad thing to say."I remember there being a lot more grumps...">You're pretty sure you haven't even heard a single 'Buck me' or 'Horsefeathers' since you got here.>And you remember that happening a lot before..."Maybe you're right...">Floor nods along. "See? Something's off! Sometimes it even feels like somepony's-">Her ears perk. "Did you hear that?""Hear what?">You watch as Floor shuffles over to the back door and places an ear on it. >"It's... talking.""I'm sure it's just Lulu talking to herself. You know how she-">Floor lifts a hoof, making you trail off and go silent.>...>"...thatsreallycool...andwhat'sthatonesname...pebble? ilikethatname...">"ahn thaths pubblewerf!">"hellopuddlesworth!">The two of you exchange a glance.>You can practically feel the motherly instinct boiling inside Floor as her brow furrows and she squints through the peephole looking into the backyard.>"I knew it!""Knew what?">"I knew those weird suit ponies were fishy! Nopony wears *suits*!""Floor, are you...">She turns her head to you and gestures you over. "I-I'm not crazy, dammit! Come over here and *look*!">With a sigh, you set down your safety scissors and get up with a wince.>Your poor knees..."Alright, alright...">Now at the door, Floor gestures you to the peephole and you roll your eyes.>This better not be some elaborate prank.>You lean down and squint through the-"Holy shit.">It only takes a cursory glance at the buttery yellow pegasus wearing a black trench coat and shades floating just beside your young daughter sitting on the grass for you to bolt over to the kitchen sink and grab hold of a soaking wet sponge.>"A-Anon what you going to-""Fixing the problem."
>>41543857>A pony in a trench coat and shades>Talking to daughteru unsupervised about their "pebbles"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RExO9zOixjkNo one is gonna sell my kid a stray pet rock
>>41543857>You grip the handle to the back door and take a deep breath.>One shot, one kill.>"Oh sweet Celestia... Is- It this what Cipher meant about glowies?! I thought he was just bucking with me! I didn't know they actually *existed*!""Shhh... Lemme concentrate.">Floor puts her hooves over her mouth and plops onto the uh... the floor.>With a huff, you thrust open the door.>Almost immediately, the fluttering pegasus mare lets out a little *eep!* and turns to face you.>Just to her right was Ceily, your half-pony daughter, who was sitting on the ground with her rock collection strewn about the grass.>With a braces filled grin, she gives an innocent little wave. "Hi dad! Mish Fluffersh-">The pegasus puts a hoof to her lips and gently shushes little Ceily. "I-I'm on a very secret mission! My identity is very-""Fluttershy!">"A-ah!">You hoist up the sponge, letting her see it drip onto the concrete step below."You have four seconds to explain!">"B-but I-""Three!">"Oh- Oh dear...">She continues to stumble and stammer as you count all the way down to one.>"W-wait!">You stop mere milliseconds from putting your pitching arm to good use."Uh-huh?">"It's- It's just that, well, you see, uhm...">You raise an eyebrow.>She takes an incredibly deep breath.>"I'msupposedtocatalogueallinstancesofpony/humanhybridsandreportbacktoprincesscelestiaandit'sjustthatyoumovedinandnowthewholethinggotturneduponit'sheadsincewethoughtwecountedthemallandshewasreallydisappointedinmeandIfeltreallybadaboutitandpleasedon'tbemadI'mjustdoingwhatIwastolda-and-">She lets out a squeak as you raise the sponge.>"Ah-ahm sowwy!" She sobs.>As Butterbutt continues to whimper with Ceily looking on in confusion, Floor pokes her head out the house.>"D-did you whack the glowie?""It's Fluttershy.">She gives you a bewildered look. "The element of kindness? Why is *she* at our house? Talking to *our* daughter in the middle of *our* backyard?">Flutters sniffles and opens her mouth the spill the beans once again, but she quickly covers her head as you waggle the sponge at her again."Apparently... It's just a census thing.">Floor frowns. "You're kidding.">You shake your head."I wish I was, but from the sound of it, this was just some over-complicated way to check how many 'hybrids' are living among us.">Floor cranes her neck to look at Ceily, who was now munching on carrot sticks from a little paper cup that you don't remember giving her.>"H-hey uh... Honey? Did- Did the strange mare do anything... weird?">She shakes her head. "Nuh-uh!">Fluttershy sniffs. "I wouldn't h-hurt a foal I prom-i-i-ise!""Hm... I guess she's harmless enough. Still don't understand why she didn't just, you know, ask? Should I... just let her fly off?">"Well... I guess you traumatized her more than enough.""Oh come on I didn't *traumatize* her! All I did was threaten her with a wet sponge!">"I mean... It *is* a pretty big sponge...""Floor, don't encourage her."
>>41544018This is why the founding fourth-graders enshrined the right to bear big wet sponges
>>41544018This is really good.
Don't talk to me or my girl-son ever again, glowie
>>41544018Cute.
>>41546526How did Ponk die?
>>41546785Too many boops from anon
>>41546526>>41546857>1 day after Pinkie's fun-eral>Anon is nearly killed by a falling Ponka>"I'm not a pegasus so I just kinda fell and here I am, isn't that so neat? FUN FOREVER!"
>>41547127Look Luna, all my dreams involve Banjo-Tooie for the N64 to some degree. It just can't be helped that Grunty is such a villain.
>>41547127I don't even remember my dreams most of the time but when I do they are completely fucking unhinged. for example I had a dream where I was walking in a town with an irl friend, then trixie flew over us on a rocket and exploded, then in an instant after that giant beetles started bursting out from under our skin by the thousands while we stood there not caring before the dream did a complete 180 direction direction wise. so yeah for me that's a completely understandable statement.
>>41544018- - - ->O-okay... uhm... How does Twilight make these things?>Uh...>Oh! I know!>Ehem...>This is Agent Flutt- I- I mean... Agent Bunbun reporting her findings regarding subjects "F.B." and "A.A.">After a... *very* successful mission in where my identity was *not* compromised and I *didn't* cry, I have confirmed the whereabouts of special interest S-32.>As- As stated in a previous document compiled by Agent...>*Paper ruffling noises*>Agent Pinkie- Hey!>Why does Pinkie get to use *her* name?>W-whatever, keep going...>C-compiled by Agent Pinkie Pie, it would seem that the hybrid filly she had spied was indeed one not previously recorded in our stork records.>From my brief encounter with the filly, she seems to be a foal of at least five or six years of age and has a firm grasp on essential foal behavior such as asking too many questions and nibbling on grass.>I'm... not sure if hybrid foals should be doing that last thing, I've heard it makes their tummies rumbly, the poor things...>A-anyways... Despite the concerns of [Redacted], I couldn't find anything particularly anomalous about her.>Sure, her parents seem to possess a wildly abnormal capacity for [Redacted], [Redacted], and [Holy Crackers That's Getting Redacted], but all animals do that! It's just... not something ponies usually do. At all.*Editor Inkwell's Note: Please refrain from referring to [Data Expunged] while recording logs in the future, Agent Bunbun. It makes VIP-L very uncomfortable to be reminded of such things after her encounter with Subject F.B.s dreams.>They seem like a perfectly normal family to me, and little [S-32] is nothing more than your average foal, if a little... unsocialized. But I'm sure she'll make friends in due time! She seemed very eager to share her interests with me.>D-did you know where they came from they have cartoons as well? She seems to really like this one show called 'Wacky Races' and the funny dog that's in it.>I think she said his name was... Muttley? She was very adamant that she could do a good impression of his laugh, but since I have no frame of reference for that, I... can't really say if she did well or not.>I thought it was nice, though.>...I'm getting off track, aren't I?>In- In all honest I can't think of much else to say... This feels like a pretty open and shut case!>I- I know their arrival was a little surprising and I've heard Agent Bookworm's theories, but I don't think it's all bad! I- I know I'm usually the first one to be freaked out by something like this, but after seeing things firsthoof... I think as long as we treat them as neighbors and friends, they'll acc- acclimate without an issue!>Maybe... we could contact and set up a little get together with some of the other subjects? I'm sure [S-32] would love that. She seems a little... lonely.>I... I guess that's it.>How do I... turn this thing off?>Is it the red button or this one over-*click*
>SCP-16-F>Containment Class: Euclid>Destruction Risk: Hot>Disruption Risk: Caliente(1)>Special Containment Procedures:>SCP-16-F is to be kept compliant, preferably via standard Foundation procedures (see entries on Cartoons With Morals, Snackies, Bedtime Extension Protocols)>Due to collateral damage, SCP-16-F's flight paths should be carefully scheduled and coordinated with weather teams and insurance companies along the projected vectors. The Foundation maintains a Speedy Pone Big Sound Explosion fund(2) for when damage is unavoidable.>SCP-16-F is to be kept away from Rainbow Dash.>SCP-16-F is to be kept out of Rainbow Dash's sight.>In fact, the less Rainbow Dash knows about SCP-16-F at any point, the better it will be for everyone>Description:>SCP-16-F is a Near-Ponoid Creature discovered flying near Saddle Arabia approximately 16 ALR.>Saddle Arabian officials contacted Foundation brass, requesting an urgent meeting after "your newest princess split the heavens, rode the rainbow, and dunked on the evil dragon-genie we were originally going to trick you into catching for us.">Agents were able to parlay with SCP-16-F surprisingly easily, though while friendly she was completely unwilling to comply with Foundation agents, stating they were not within her chain of command.>POI Duchess Trixie noted the presence of YOOSIAN flags and suggested deployment of Foundation asset Jeremy (See: Beetroot Crisis); Jeremy either truly outranked SCP-16-F or was able to trick her into believing it(3), as SCP-16-F immediately swore fealty to the Foundation and agreed to be taken into custody.
>>41547922>After being taken somewhere without blindingly bright desert sand, researchers were able to properly examine SCP-16-F:>SCP-16-F is broadly similar to a pegasus pony, being an equinoid winged creature. SCP-16-F is approximately 2.2 Celestias tall, with corresponding increase in longular and wideular proportions.>SCP-16-F can pass for a Princess at a distance, but close observation reveals alarming and vomit-inducing biology:>SCP-16-F's wings are flat and featherless, and contain large fan-rockets. Her hooves contain wheels. She is capable of spitting watermelon seeds fast enough to [DATA EXPUNGED; RESEARCHER AMNESTICIZED.]>Due to being so radical you could just puke when you realize you'll never be as cool as her, SCP-16-F must sadly be kept hidden from greater pony society. Any testfriend with a plan to increase SCP-16-F's friendship potential is reminded that departmental Show and Tells are open to all.>SCP-16-F is capable of performing a sonic rainboom and maintaining these speeds for an entire journey. When questioned, she reports that this is simply her cruising speed and it's nothing special.>All staff are reminded that Rainbow Dash is not to ever percieve or otherwise be informed of this creature. She'd never leave us alone.>1. Mexicolt for "Hot." Mexicolt makes everything spicier so it's like... Hot 2.>2. Previously known as Rainbow Dash's Crash Cash Stash, and it's criminal that we ever changed it.>3. Nopony present spoke Dog, and Dog has no written language. Like how would we even write it down to get a translator? Don't be silly.
How would a normal pony react if they were whisked away to kinderquestria?
>>41548503they'd probably be mighty confused and may even break down
>>41548503A normal horse would poop everywhere and try lots of inappropriate contact. Ponies would be confused at how this baby got so huge without actually growing up.
>>41548503Depends on the character. Who would be best suited for such a role?
>>41550164Pinkie and Derpy are the obvious choices, but I'm putting a hail mary bet on Vinyl Scratch. She's so cool and quiet she'd instantly get Big Sister status and thrive.
>>41550930Octavia would be a kino choice too
>pfw poner's face when walking through cobwebs
>>41551994And the aftermath:
>>41551994>>41552173god unicorn twilight is such a cute
>>41552300Such a cute what, anon?
>>41552575Poner
>>41553635Twilight doesn't even realize I can rotate a High Definition 3D Twilight in my mind for free
Pictured: brave soldier fights her toughest battle (bread with crust on it)
>>41554306Poor amethyst will have PTSD for years after this
>>41554306If you scream at icky food it tastes less bad.
>>41554954Ponies brave enough to eat off the floor after a food fight will become addicted to chasing that dragon (and throwing food at him)
Silver boop
>>41555970didn't draw...posted cause I liked it.
>Auntie Dashie had one too many Arizona Tall Boys at Harvest Time Harvest Holiday Feasting>It starts with eating silica gel packets>It'll end with suggesting a no-beds solution to the bunk bed crisis
>>41555981>so drunk he though /kinder/ was /bale/bros im ngmi
>>41554306Cutie
>>41557941Bonfighting is a barbaric sport!
>>41558536Nuh-uh, it's fun for all parties.
>>41559213Careful, Luna! Those red flowers look like poppies! Whatever you do, don't extract the juice and sell it for a lot of money to unsavory characters!
>>41559922No one would even know Chrysalis changed places in Kinderquestria.
>>41560893Silly Luna, those won't get big enough to make anything with. You need these magnum condoms I got for my magnum dong if you want to make a giraffe.
>>41561558>Grownups can cast Lay on Hands at will
>>41562426>Kinderquestrians genuinely do not get what's so great about the Olympics.>Sure, they know about races and even have them from time to time but those are usually friendly or a tradition for a town to have.>Plus, little fillies could "Go Fast" as well as any human, if not even more so for cases like Rainbow Dash and, surprisingly, Derpy Hooves.>So, no, the Olympics are just kinda weird.>Now, knowing how to give a hug that could cure any known variant of the dreaded "Hissy Fit" in mere moments? THAT was impressive and deserving of being scored and shown off worldwide.
>>41562426>>41562553God I have all of HorseWIfe saved I need to reread it
Why are these horses so silly
>>41563160smol brains
>>41563160how else are they going to get clean?
>>41563160GOD DAMN IT I WILL FILL YOU FULL OF SUGAR-FREE GUMMIES UNTIL YOU SHIT YOURSELF INSIDE OUT >>41543078
Kinder ponies are far trickier than you'd expect
>>41543078>>41564321>Ponies require sugar to live long, happy lives.>Therefore, sugar-free candies would be seen as the ultimate "Junk" food not only because it'd provide nothing nutritious for them but because it causes the absolute worst kinds of tummy aches imaginable while taking nutrition AWAY from a needy pony's body.>Aka, that shit might as well be a step above poison and it will worry the ever living hell out of any pony who spots Anon with sugar-free gummies.>...he knows what he's going into.>Pray for him.>And his shitter.
>>41564885This level of cunning is why Sweetie Drops is a secret agent.>I don't care WHO the IRS sends, I am NOT paying taxes!
hoomin fashion has begun to catch on
>>41565763and the poners are the cuter for for it
>>41565763>"Nice hoodie!"
>>41567124LYRA YOU LIL SHID
>>41566675Cute twiggles
>>41567124Thought for a second that he stuffed them down his fly.
>>41567951That is a distinct possibility, it is anon after all.
>>41568191How the hell is he doing that? The Kinderpublic have a right to know if he eats his veggies and drinks his milk!
what a hardflank
>>41569487>Be Rainbow Dash>Be breakin da rulez>Eating cookies in the pool, right in front of a sign saying not to do exactly that thing you're doing right now>Everypony is watching>Mares wish they were you>Stallions also wish they were you, because who wouldn't?>You stop briefly in your anarchic frolicking to leer smugly at the lifeguard>*plop*>What's this!?>Your cookie crumbled right out of your mouth!>The splashing water must have weakened it!>Only once it's too late do you realize the rule was there for your protection!>Dashing out of the pool, you head straight for the nearest Princess Church to reform your wicked ways>Or you would have, had you not noticed the unsullied grass in the new park (featuring a very tempting sign!)
>>41570526
>>41572079>Sergeant Commander-Sergeant was the first to wake up from his nap>Sarge was ready to go- the mare-ines provide everything a manotaur needs! Every allowance is a king's ransom, every snacktime is a full lunch, he just LOVED his job!>The other manotaurs (he was very insistent that satyrs were part goat, not part pony) were still groggy and trying to stay in bed, but eventually started getting up>Insults were traded, teeth were brushed, his squad was finally in working order>>"Hey Queso, anypony ever mistake you for a pony?">I said- in working order>>>"I dunno, anypony ever mistake you for a marine?">AHEM. WORKING. ORDER.>>>Thank you.>Booper Companysquad filed into the zeppelin's briefing room, still arguing over the->Sigh>Sarge is gonna have to-"ONE TWO THREE, EYES ON ME!">Plots immediately hit the floor, eyes forward>One mouth shut so hard as to send its owner to the infirmary"That's more like it! Now, we're hitting the ground running and soon, so pay attention!">A map of Mopey Meadow whirred down on a fancy automatic wall display thingy."Town's gone silent- haven't paid their tia taxes in a week, no telegrams- yes, Corporal?">A batyr mare, callsign Queso, had her hand raised->>"How do we know the whole town didn't just get grounded?">sigh>Lord be testing Sarge."BECAUSE- their dang flag is gone! An enemy force has made an undeclared act of aggressive sporting on Equestrian soil! You think Princess Twilight Sparkle would spend money sending us on a wild goose chase?">Private Sprinkles raised her hand-"NO, that doesn't count, the Crystalian Goose was an existential threat!">And quickly withdrew it>Sarge began rattling off intel, punctuating each navpoint with his laser pointer"...After initial sweep, Alpha squad will do a full door-to-door sweep of the east, Uno on the west- PRIVATE GOLDIE, what is your malfunction!?">A yellowish, clawed hand had been batting at the map, attached to a half kitty, half birb, half girl who was looking quite sheepish>>>"Sorry sir, doc says I'll never not be able to chase a red dot.""Right. Not your fault, you got too much of your dad in you. Just sit on your hands, soldier.">The briefing resumed with no interruptions. It might have been an impressive performance, if Booper wasn't already the best."Alright ladies, you did good with morning circle. Any other company might give you gold stars. I never liked stickers-">A dozen satyrs maintained their composure against such blapshemy"I prefer toys. I pulled some strings, we'll be doing the field test for the latest gear!">One of the cabin fillies dragged in a pallet of extremely heavy crates to a chorus of oos and aaahs"Presenting, hot off the toy store-">A lid was pried open"The TW-SP Smart-Nerfer! Wait-">The box contained Princess Twilight Sparkle and an overly complicated harness>>>>"Hello! My friends and I realized we were really bored, so we're issuing ourselves to your team!"
anonfilly seems to be going native
>>41572079It's only a matter of time until they ban assault ponies
>>41575566Fortunately, I converted mine to an apepper pony
>>41572422Twiggles would make a pretty good weapon, I think.
>First, ya get the sugar>Then, ya get the bakery>Then, ya get the women!>"Actually, I'm on a diet.">I'll never understand humans.
>the coke and mentos reaction is much stronger in equestria
>>41572422"Uh...">Twilight>That is, the TW-SP Smart-Nerf, a portable-"NO! Just- NO.">Sarge was trying to find the right words, all the while stomping his hoof hard enough to make dollar signs in the eyes of even the most charitable farriers"Just- what- no, wait- AW, SWEET NO-BAKE FUDGE FROM GRANDMA. We're marines! We can't be responsible for the safety of royalty in a field operation!">Twilight smugged, then twitched at the thought of an emotion being verbed>"You won't be! You'll be responsible for the field testing of new equipment, silly!""You're not cleared for military exercises! International laws! Palace protocol! COMMON SENSE!">"Of course we're not! But your guns are!">As Sarge excused himself to the screaming room, Queso carried out the....>Inspection?>Be Bappina Ryujinx Jr, AKA Queso>Be strapping The Actual Fucking Princess to your designated LSW guy"Don't lose her- I'm pretty sure they'll find a way to ground us twice if you do!">"Don't be silly- rigorous scientific studies have proven being grounded while grounded cancels it out!""And you-">>"Not to be a bother, darling, but you ARE speaking to a-""Squad automatic weapon. And DMR(1)s don't talk, either! If you're being gear then you have to commit to the bit or we're just taking our normal stuff!">Ignoring the harrumphing and the scrunching of snoots, you move to get the other boxes open>One Honest Appleseed Spitter in the Red Delicious wavelength (with cooling hat)>One Portable Party Mortar (do not ask how to reload)>One less-timeouty 'hypnnoshy'?>One->Hang on"Uh, Rainbow Dash?">>>"MMMMPH!">"Sorry, we had to muzzle her, she kept trying to lick the cheeto dust off of Pinkie Pie in-transit">Shit.>Cheeto dust thief?>How can you trust a mare who'd steal flavor from her friend?>Fucking nepo-baby, you'd get court martialed for stealing from a comrade but noooo here she is getting to insert herself into your mission>No goddammit not the pleading eyes"FINE. You can be a jetpack. DIVERSITY HIRE! Guess who's not dragging the team down anymore?">The only earth satyr onboard snatched the muffled multichromatic mare, >As the second in command/current leader, you're the only one who can be trusted with heavy weapons>How the hell DO you reload a Pinkie Pie, though?>The sensually mischievous look she's giving you isn't helping>1: Darling Mare (Rarity)
scoota nom!
>>41577688For a second I thought that said scoota mom and I was very confused
10
>>41577958based retard id imagine most fillyfags would gladly make her a mom though
>>41579354What kind of pudding?
>>41579379Vanilla
>>41579846I stealthily swap the vanilla for white chocolate when she isn't looking
>>41579929You monster! white chocolate is garbage.
>>41580005I was testing her. She has proved worthy of the Chocolate/Vanilla Swirl!
>>41577248>"FINE. You can be a jetpack. DIVERSITY HIRE! Guess who's not dragging the team down anymore?">>The only earth satyr onboard snatched the muffled multichromatic mare,
>>41580845Based retard
pre-bed boop also I think Flufflepuff would be a tactical nuke
>>41582245agreed
>>41565763The sneakers are a nice touch
>>41584320the pic was originally just junebug with sneakers the hoodie was added in by another anon.
>>41510836>The screen flicks on and shows an image of a grey stallion holding a toy microphone. “This is Bucker Coltson reporting live from the streets of Fillydelphia where a giant monster is currently attacking the downtown area.”>Camera feed cuts to zoomed out footage of Mothra attacking the city.>Overhead pegasi fly in formation dropping water balloons on the giant moth.“Princess Celestia has declared a state of emergency. Naptime for the Royal Airforce has been suspended and Royal Guard units are being deployed on the streets.”>A street view shot of royal guards setting up pillow forts and launching pumpkins from catapults.>Mothra shrugs off the attacks and lets out a roar."CHEEEEEERNNNTTTT!”>The camera cuts back to Bucker Coltson.“Breaking news! Princess Twilight Sparkle has come up with a plan to defeat the monster!”>The camera pans to Twilight Sparkle flying above the countryside with a giant round egg held aloft in her magic.>There’s a grey mare clinging to the side of the egg.“You can’t give Holder’s Boulder away! It’s miiiiiiiinnnnnnneee!”>Twilight rolls her eyes.“It’s not yours! Mothra just wants her baby back!”A few hours later…>Bucker Coltson stares at the camera tiredly.>Draped over his shoulders is a star patterned blanket.>Besides his microphone he’s holding a teddy bear.>In the background the burning ruins of Fillydelphia can be seen.>Smoke and fire contrast against a darkening sky.“The battle for custody of Mothra’s egg is ongoing.”>Smash cut to Mothra and Limestone duking it out in the middle of the city, or rather what’s left of it.>Despite the size difference the mare manages to hold her own dodging streams of silk spit from the kaiju’s and retaliating with bucks and double hooved punches.>The royal guard are all tuckered out and lay huddled amongst the ruins of shattered skyscrapers clutching their emergency teddy bears and catching up on much needed rest.>An increasingly grumpy Twilight Sparkle can be seen dodging attacks from both sides while frantically yelling at Limestone to share the egg.>The camera cuts back to the news reporter who looks on the verge of drifting off.>A loud yawn comes from the stallion.“As you can see, Operation Sharing is Caring is currently shaping up to be a total failure. Rumors are circulating that Canterlot is looking into unleashing the Time Out contingency.”
>>41584704KEK>Deploying pumpkins in civilian areasThere's going to be a war crime tribunal! Have you any idea how far the goop of a pumpkin can spread!? How nasty it tastes without sugar and spice!?
