Come one and all to the meta-writefag and help raise the quality of MLP fanfiction! Featuring: As of yet undiagnosed mental illnesses!ITT: Fucking an author's heart, Anon will surely blaze a complete Mom!Luna trail, Sunburst the Nintendo game reviewer, Killing yourself to benefit necrophiles, All-American PTSD, The Epic of Primitive Mythology, Fluttering around inside your Jungian shadow, Early headcanons falling to the wayside, Zack Snyder explodes India, Hunting for every and any kind of spooky story, RIPPEN, Uncomfortable amounts of inspiration, Babylonian mind castles, Relying on another dude to do your critical thinking, Mangling acronyms, Spoiling a story's core premise, Ponorseuines?, The peak of fanfiction, Celestia and Luna prioritizing one another, Gleaming Shield, Writing something loosely based on G4, Judging stories vie the "Also Liked" column, A Fellowship of Autists in a Bar Swear They Aren't Racist, and coping with unfinished stories!>/fimfic/ Secret Book ClubThe eightieth book is 'A Scratch On Shining Armor':https://www.fimfiction.net/story/221135/a-scratch-on-shining-armorIf (You) want to participate, finish the entire story by the 27th.On Sunday we'll discuss what we've read.>Recommended stories:Tired of authors forgetting that brevity is key? Fed up with 10k inner monologue chapters? Well, we've compiled the best of the worst in order to bring you our absolute average!New Starter Kit - http://mlpficreviews.org.uk/starter/Old Starter Kit - http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png>Common fic abbreviations used by the thread:https://ponepaste.org/7317>A list of reviews made by the Anons in this thread:http://www.mlpficreviews.org.ukUse the commands ">review <story link>" and ">discuss <story link>" to add reviews to a story.Userscript for extra features: https://ponepaste.org/8619>An in-depth writing guide for beginners:https://eznguide.neocities.org/>Can you pre-read my story?Post it on Google Docs or HackMD with comments enabled and give us a link.>Additional material for authors:Rhorse's Horse Behavioral Notes - https://ponepaste.org/932Politics and the English Language - https://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit/Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop - https://poneb.in/g4VpEg4fSetting a story in motion - https://youtu.be/ufO8LbwTdu0Taking criticism - https://youtu.be/-v4R2ZcxPlA>Various reviews and riffs:Fillyanon's Bookshelf - https://ponepaste.org/5555Notkickass222urmom's Reviews - https://pastebin.com/u/notkickass222urmomIHeartShinzakura's Reviews - https://ponepaste.org/user/IHeartShinzakuraAppleanon reads fics - https://poneb.in/wmGX7FPmDeluxe Big Master Review List - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1z9Bz7UnEbxo-svlXa2tV49PJkP-yFuR7pRXiBUn-IeUA Guide to Rational Fics - https://files.catbox.moe/3jzrfm.pngThe Royal Canterlot Library's Top 16 Fanfics - https://royalcanterlotlibrary.net/top16/Previous Thread: >>41550941
First for HIE
First for best griffon. What are some good Gilda stories?
Third for best pony!And here's a nice fic to go with the post: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/320477/carousel
>>41571990Carousel is quite nice. A shame the guy never wrote horror again.Still, maybe one is all you need.
>>41571984i remember this one being good, but I think it's dead.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/434872/the-8th-rank
>>41572049I got into that thinking it'd be Gilda/Celestia but then he introduced the griffon OC and I knew it wasn't going the way I wanted.
>>41572052>Gilda/CelestiaNow that's something I don't think I've ever read.
>>41571990I wonder if A Moment's Worth, his third fic, is any good. I liked Carousel a good deal but Heteropaternal Superfecundation left a bit of a bad taste while reading, I recall.
>>41572074I read one once like a fucking decade ago. I'm a big fan of crackships like that.
>>41572077It's only 5,4k words long.Read it and review it.
>>41554015https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/once-used-treat-erectile-dysfunction-pink-cocaine-rising-popularity-u-s-party-drug-per-doctors
>>41572200Rarity's always ahead of the curve where trends are concerned.
Holy fuck shit. The latest Hailey Potter (8,0?) has been cancelled already.I got out of bed to post this. Fuck phoneposting.
>>41572238>forcing yourself out of your bed's warmth just to make a stand against mobilefaggingAt least you can feel smug about it. Cold, but smug.
>Twilight Sparkle is now in charge at the castle in Canterlot and rule Equestria she has to do is smile and wave to every pony take care of the throne all day long, raise the sun, and raise the moon, becoming ruler of Equestria, lower the moon, control the weather, you every pony's dreams when they are asleep, using telekinesis to move things around, she needs to use a solar light energy beam, she needs to teleport, she needs to become become leadership, she needs to cast spells, and raise your mane up top to the sky. It is really hard work for Twilight to take care of these responsibilities to take care of Equestria and Canterlot Castle and she will take care of these responsibilities on this afternoon.Rate my fic
>>41572333IMDb/10, SemiSatan.
I'm gonna write cringe shit and i'm gonna enjoy it.
>>41571969Any fics including grogar? Like, actual grogar. Wanna see how to write him on my story.Also, how is he in g1? Kinda like how discord acts him out to be in s9?Lastly, you know how in DB and other animes and shit there is a lot of explanation and stuff about powers and how they work? Well, would you say its bad to explore the power/magic sistem of the world because its not at all something explained in the show and it would basically be full on my-own-made slop?
>>41572374This you?
>>41572409If men really looked like that, this thread would be 100% gay.
>>41572393https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HxZLIDz_iKQ&pp=ygUJRzEgZ3JvZ2Fy
>>41572393>you know how in DB and other animes and shit there is a lot of explanationThis man has never read DB.
>>41572481Enough about the gays.What is some good straight romance?Just a mare and a stallion loving each other.
22+2th for best duo!Enjoy some conveniently packaged Tuna: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/470601/the-dreamwalkers-lament
>>41572580Found this one recently, really liked ithttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/401697/1/call-me-twilight/warning-awkward-nerd-love
>>41571983I want to disapprove of this, but the alternative is Tunafag, and I prefer this to him.
>>41572409Yeah. I also like fat asses and happy endings.
>>41571983Fitting, I've just now read Arrow 18 after it was mentioned 5 times in a row in another thread. Had made a mental note to read it at some point but never got around to it til now. It was decent
>>41572393A couple. I don’t know if any of them are good though.
>>41572709Now read COPE, I want to see you suffer.
>>41572718A shame it's too long for the club.
>>41572752It's literally on the club list.
>>41572756That's the real shame, if you ask me.
>>41572718Yeah that one was also mentioned, i figure i might as well. Won't get to it for a couple days though
>>41572752The schizo club is reading Austraeoh. I think the regular club can COPE and seethe for a month and a half.
>>41572393Grogar, real grogar, should be a sauron or morgoth style character
>>41572795Yeah, but aren't there only two people left reading Austraeoh? I'm sure the schizo club has more people than that. How many people would drop off by the fifth week?
>>41572752>>41572795>>41573146>fifth week>a month and a half.>too longCOPE is only 156k words. That's barely longer than Eyes on You. Twiguard 2 was longer than that.That's an easy three week read.Well, "easy".
>>41573146nobody participates in the clubs. it's all just one schizo talking to himself.>b-but the livestreamspaid actors. cheapest he could find.
>>41572393Only grogar fic i can remember is history repeatshttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/90335/history-repeatsWhich is a G1/G4 crossover sorta. its short and fun, so worth a read.Can't comment on G1 though. in retrospect it sounds like a goddamned horror show, but back in the 80s, only actual girls watched girls cartoons, so beyond knowing it existed, I've never seen more than a few minutes of it
>>41569480There was literal, full porn cover art back before adsense cracked the whip on Knighty.>>41572238>returning to the pony focus>if I wanted to focus on Harry, I'd write a straight HP-ficHaileybros, is it over? Did Sisyphus finally give up rolling the boulder?>>41572393>Any fics including grogar?There's a bunch of <5k oneshots that are forgettable, but no long mutlichapters to my knowledge.>how is he in g1?G1 villains are all pretty much cackling evil. His plan was to bring back his kingdom, capture Megan and her siblings because they have thumbs, and banish all the ponies to the dark void he was originally banished to as revenge. Importantly, he didn't really have any magic of his own. All of it came from the bell.>would you say its bad to exploreIt depends on the story. Reading about magic autism rules is only fun if the reader can see the payoff and how those rules impact the story. There's no point going on for 10k about teleportation mechanics if a 7k teleport spam fight never happens.>>41573146> How many people would drop off by the fifth week?I'm pretty sure most would drop out the first week. Writing a conlang fic and not giving any translation assistance to the reader at all is utterly insane.
I wish I was this productive more often. I hope I'm not jinxing it.How about you, Anons? What are you writing?
>>41572238I read most of the new stuff last night. It is undoubtedly a Mary Sue story. She curbstomps fucking everyone. There isn't anything else worth saying about the story. The entire fic is her doing that.
>>41572580Electro Swing
>>41573802What do you use to write/what app is that?
>>41574194Seems like Google Docs to me, but most every text editor can count words these days.
>>41573146There's three people, actually, I just missed last week due to being ill.
>>4157380211175 characters is too many for your reader to keep track of.
>>41574591It worked for Tolstoy's War and Peace.
>>41574591You just have to kill them all by the time you hit the third act.
>>41574903At that point it's more of a third impact.
>review https://www.fimfiction.net/story/477276/a-moments-worthA Moment's Worth is a 5.4k [Drama] fic. In it, Celestia comforts a S9+ Twilight as she laments having to go and see one of the girls as she nears her death. The writing is pretty strong, and polished from what I saw. I don't really read "immortality blues" stories, though, and I think that influences what I have to say next; it doesn't do too much. Again, not bad by any means, but I could gather how things would go pretty quickly. No, Twi wouldn't trade all her memories with the girls just to not go through this current pain, yes, you can never get used to losing a friend but you'll still never turn away from letting more ponies into your life. Maybe that stems from me not really caring for these types of fic as a whole. I don't think it really does anything new, but it doesn't do anything wrong, either. Though it didn't hit me super hard there were a few lines I did really like. It's pretty alright, solidly written, and if this is your sorta thing you'll probably love it.
>>41574956I would honestly take RunicTreeSlops over this worn-to-threads premise. It's shocking how time loops aren't more prevalent on Fimfic despite the site being trapped in one.
>>41575176I think you're onto something. Runictreetops must be trying to tell us that he's stuck in a time loop by making the same exact story over and over again
A reminder >>41565903 >So far, Runic is technically better than most of us He’s not TOPS for nothing.
>>41575232What an anemic bait. Put some more energy into it next time, anon.
>>41575703>think it's a big-bellied luna in the thumbnail>it's just pokeshitMy disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.
>>41575703Imagine Luna learning about Umbreon. A Pokémon that evolves when you befriend and train it at night. Wonderful!She trains the eevee from birth, giving it plenty of treats and making sure it's well taken care of.Then, she says goodbye to it after setting the moon, and just as the sun comes out, she gives it a nuzzle, and it evolves into an Espeon.
>>41575746Hey, that's something nice to imagine!
>find yet another fic type that got sort of popular>every single one is once again unfinishedHoly fuck can these flakes please write something out before they hop off the bandwagon
>>41576009There are still plenty of complete fics out there that are enjoyable, Anon. Don't lose hope!
>>41575746It'll actually evolve into Sylveon because that's what always fucking happens because you always forget the condition for that one and how it takes priority.
really time to bunker down and finish this nyxfic...
>>41576433Your dubs compel you.
>>41576433>NyxDamn time traveler from 2012 up in this shit
>>41576466She's cute and I like mom Twilight.
>>41576474Are there Nyxless Twimom stories?
>>41576474why are they crying?
>>41576517"Twilight raises the last changeling queen" is a popular enough thing I've seen. Every single one seems to be unfinished.
>>41576517You've got either something with her and Spike, Twilight Gets Sent Back In Time And Is Actually Celestia's Mom, Twilight Brings Smarty Pants To Life And The Author Never Proofreads Their Fic, Twilight Raises Her Brother's Rape Bug Baby, or A Guard Knocks Up Twilight, Twilight And Rainbow Dash Raise Scootaloo And Kill Her Dad.If you've got any others I'm down to see them.
Are there any fics about Dyx?
>>41576545There's a Nyx fic with her in the future
>>41576545There's plenty if you turn the M filter off.
Corpse title time:Loose Pages and Looser Mares.
>>41576723I'm still pissed off this artist went literally insane, right in the middle of a commission too.
>>41576723Loose Screws and Screwed Losers.
>>41576731What?
>>8025133But all corpses are.
>>41576735Nuked all his art, cut all communication, began posting more experimental gory stuff with vague descriptions, and to this day he's still regularly posting nonsense sentences that rival genuine schizophrenia, though at least he's posting some porn again. He also alternates between two different artist tags with seemingly no logic to it.
What's funnier? Describing a character with the same descriptor (IE "they were the size of a grapefruit") each time a different character's POV sees them or coming up with a different metaphor each time
>>41576746Repetition does not a joke make.
>>41576746If you can make the same descriptor a running joke that has some meaning to it, go for that.If not, try to come with a different joke each time.It's even funnier if every metaphor unknowingly builds off the previous one.
>>41576782But a joke can be built from it.
>>41576731>>41576743Fics for ponies going fucking insane and doing stuff for no logical reason?
>>41576891https://www.fimfiction.net/story/7624/enabling
>>41576896>doubling the word count by having a final chapter that's just all previous chapters mashed togetherVery cheeky.
>>41576782It does when Terry Pratchett does it.
>>41576746Perhaps you can have it reveal a character (pre)disposition:>They're about the size of a big apple! Ripe and crunchy I bet.>They were the size of a grapefruit; just as sour too. I wonder how red they are inside.>Looks like a big potato: brown, dirty, and dented in the head. Surprising they don't grow and hang from trees.
>>41576896This reminds me, we're close to the second anniversary of FSSBC.
>>41576517Honestly if you find any others link them. Twilight works as a mom and I dunno why
>>41576935We should try to read something really crazy to commemorate the occasion.
>>41577028I want to suggest the corpse, but that might constitute enough circlejerking to collapse into a singularity.
>>41577059The problem is that all regular club members are already part of it.
>>41577059We could always read a different corpse. I know there are a few out there.
>thinking about different possible ideas for a fic to fit the criteria of two different ongoing contests>realise there's a premise that fits both and is also extremely in line with my fetishes Oh no. Now I want to write it but I need to not make it weird in a bad way.
>>41577072What fetish? I won't judge, though I might ask for contact info.
>>41577028The craziest thing the bookclub could read would be an actual fucking book.
>>41577156That's already happened multiple times.
>>41577156Is it time?
>>41577107The fetish is happiness
>>41577168Still mad my anthro futafausticorn fic didn't make it in.
>>41576936She raised a kid in the show. The only mane six girl that isn't motherly by the end is possibly Rarity, and even then not really.
>>41577178>you could write about any of the cast getting knocked up and it'd be easy enough to make it in character
>>41577160Example?If it’s just a fic that’s been turned into a book that doesn’t count since it’s obviously still a fic and not an independent piece of literature.
>>41577191Except Rarity. Too focused on her career, the closest she gets to childbirth are her monthly abortions.
>>41577222Bro in the season finale of the first season all the other girls' motivations for the gala are like "party, impress my mentor, make some money" and Rarity's sole motivation is to get cummed inside by an inbred rich guy.You're citing the one character who frequently and canonically wants to get her cooch gooped, with a ring on it. Not even Pinkie, the one that DOES get her velvet underground powerwashed by Weird Al, shows that kind of interest until a 20 year timeskip.
>>41577206The Twiflag will have to give you his library, but TWOLOT and PCTCQ are in there.And no, books are books.
>>41577232She wanted to be married, not bred. It was all just to further her own ambitions, not to grant the gift of life.
>>41577247She wanted a fairlytale prince to sweep her off her feet and treat her well. This is a baby show, the actual motivation and the reasons for her disliking mister british is pretty clear.
>>41577254I understand this thread may have skewed your values, but "treat me well" is not synonymous with "stick his dick in me".
>>41577278"I want to marry a prince" usually comes with the implication of "and bear his heirs"
>>41577291I wouldn't say so, looking at the recent case of William and Catherine.
>>41573802I'm getting back to the archmage fic now that the corpse is done.>>41576517I think there's a few where she adopts an orphan, but I don't recall any full Rarifag ones where she's bred and settles down as a Twifag's fantasy.>>41576746If it's a true comedy fic, the later, with the narrator eventually struggling to think of some other grapefruit-sized object after using softball, pie pumpkin, wadded up newspaper, rock, 272 gram sphere of pure aluminum, etc.
>>41577314>adopts an orphanthanks for reminding me I still need to read trust once lost.
>>41577278>>41577291She just wanted to be married gently.
>>41577321>humanNah
>>41577321Is it finished?
Can't decide, rolling.1-3 Pronoia/Paranoia2-6 The Lords of Harmony7-9 White Sun0 Restart and finish Cold Harmonics
>>41577416>RestartIs it any good?
>>41577460I recall two of my main grievances while reading was the presentation of the sexual content and the humor. I know I found Sombra fucking obnoxious because he was a fusion of both those complaints in one. My memory's a little fuzzy despite making it 11 chapters in, so whenever I complete it I'll probably do a review as well.
>>41577240They were not books to begin with so they are not real books
>>41577629>You will never be a real book.
>>41577665
>>41577629>Fimfic (super) secret book club>read FiM fics in book form but that somehow doesn't count because fimfics cant be books>but we only read fimficsDude I think you might just be looking for a normal book club.
>Consistently write 1k words daily for the past four daysIs this the power of inspiration?
>>41578779But what inspires you, twinkis?
>>41578871
>>41578894Yeah I get it
help i'm getting too easily inspired
>>41579353Sounds like you need help actually writing.
>>41578871>twinkisYes.
Any good longer TwiPie stuff out there?
>>41580041This one's pretty decent.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/115196/the-party-animal-and-the-bookwormIt's only 50k words long, but it has a sequel that's just over three times the length that's also enjoyable.https://www.fimfiction.net/story/153013/a-new-kind-of-partyAlso, dishonorable mention to:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/50377/pinkamena-diane-pie-consultant-detectiveWhich is one of the few stories that build upon Mmmystery in the Friendship Express and have Pinkie and Twilight do detective stuff, but then it DIED.
>>41580041Numbers wrote some good ones before his mental breakdown.He kept writing them afterwards, but I don't know if those are any good.
>>41580192Why are all shipfags doomed to a life of mental maladies?
>>41580229You're confusing the cause and effect.
>>41578779>Is this the power of inspiration?I certainly hope so. I was quite excited when you mentioned you were writing a sequel
I need to pass the fuck out but also finish Hailey Potter.
>>41580327The only thing I love as much as Twinkie are the dynamics of an established relationship, and I'm glad I get to do that with them now. And the horror. That too.>>41580361Read Hailey in bed until you pass out and you can dream the rest of the story.
>>41577174Well? You gonna post it?
>>41579353I have the opposite problem. I couldn't seem to put anything on paper in months.Help me brehs, how do I convince myself to write?
>>41580755Every chapter you write, is one slap on the Tunafag's face.
>>41580755I just read stuff and it's often unfinished so that makes me mad and makes me want to write something and finish it.
>>41580755get a clingy internet friend that constantly pesters you to work on your writing.
This is my first time doing this. I think that I'm following protocol, but I'm open to suggestions both for the story chapter I'm providing, and how to make it easier for anyone who wants to read my garbage.This is the first chapter in however many I'm interested in writing involving a reinterpretation or rewrite of Equestria Girls: Friendship Games. It was something that I had posted a general rough draft of in the Fingerbang thread about the following question: Why was Principal Cinch in charge of Crystal Prep Academy, and not Sombra? It obviously didn't take off over there since Sombra has very little bara artwork and Fingerbang only cares about BOOBA, which is fine. That's their domain, and I'm the visitor.I've been giving it thought, and I want to believe that I can make a better story that more appropriately follows the themes that EQG tried to present, thanks to the benefit of hindsight and no time constraints nor producer intervention. However, I am also aware that many writers believe they can make better stories without having the skill to do so, and as far as Fimfiction is concerned, I'm just another wannabe. So, here we are.tl;dr this is the first chapter of an unfinished EQG story, so if you're pro-hooves, please ignore ithttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1DgpXZxgEOKoe7jA41CVfM_-2D8aBn8Blnc9hOmDpJ2c/edit?usp=sharingI'm going to leave the thread now, and check back tomorrow if there are any comments to my post.
>>41581369>unfinishedAnd may it remain that way.
>>41581369you're a braver anon than I
>>41581369>Principal Sombra, standing before a lit fireplace, turned his gaze over to Twilight, and she felt her legs go weak from the force of his presence. He was a mountain of a man, strong and powerful like a stallion, ...>She felt an involuntary moan escape her, the deep-yellow lighting hiding the blush on her cheeks.>“Thank you, sir,” was all she managed to get out, her voice not even a whisper.Is this going to turn into porn?You have descriptions that are simultaneously rich and plain: You give lots of specific details, which is good, but they're almost entirely visual details, the sort of thing that we could have gotten from a well-drawn animation. Most of the plot is communicated using dialogue; when you are not using dialogue, it tends to be for the purpose of setting the scene or describing physical actions (there are a few exceptions, like the description of the Crystal Heart at the end). Overall, it feels like an adapted screenplay.The chapter has a methodical pace that sets up an interesting conflict while being neither rushed nor boring. The chapter sets up two conflicts. One overt conflict seems like it will be the Crystal Heart. The other is Cadance's opinion of Sombra and what he's done to Crystal Prep. The former could be interesting or not, depending on what you do with it. The latter feels cliche. It's not a bad conflict; but "mean authority figured challenged by the power of love" has been done a few times before. It could develop into something better, though.When you said this was EqG, I figured I'd correct a few grammar errors in the first paragraph, post, "u sux, go reed sum boocks" and forget about this. But this was much better than I was expecting.
>may not finish my story on time>realize I can release it in parts instead since the first bit's already doneDelightfully devilish.
>>41580062Honestly, I was always surprised that how could a fandom, mostly comprised of men, write so much shipping garbage.But seriously, why? The theme of the show isn't even love, it's pretty explicitly friendship.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/164668/the-corner-of-our-eyesfirst time reading this on spooky monththe artwork alone gives me the creeps
>>41581369Despite a splitting headache, I chucked in some technical suggestions (that are probably wrong anyway).It does start quite plain (not necessarily bad) and I liked some of the latter descriptions; nice dialogue too. I wouldn't want this to turn into porn, but with how you've depicted Sombra so far I wouldn't say no to him taking off his shirt, unveiling his wild chest hair, then suplexing Shining in the school locker room.But does this have to be a retelling/reinterpretation of EqG:FG? I don't know what you have planned, but this chapter could co-exist with the film and fit in as a prequel where Sombra was the principle before Cinch (perhaps she's a replacement, or a coup takes place). There's also previous Friendship Games to take advantage of (although it's every 4 years).Regardless, I hope you show the Shadowbolt girls the love they deserve. Nice work fag.
>>41581369>EQGWhy?
>>41582479I know we talk about this every time, but it's still astounding how much futa aura those ponified Shadowbolts portraits exude given the artist has never drawn a marecock.
>>41582519I like how pretty all the Shadowbolt mares are.
>>41582519Nigger, I hate you with every fiber of my being, but you're right.
>>41582519You've just eroded your brain with porn to the point that any commanding, confident-looking mares trigger your futa neurons.
>>41582666It's not just that. It's the texture work specifically.
>>41581932>>41582479This was more attention than I was expecting, and I thank you for it. Today I have social events planned, so I won't be editing and updating my document until many hours from now. However, I feel like since there are enough suggestions on the document itself, I have a requirement to share my mindset.No, this isn't going to turn into porn. The descriptions that are raising eyebrows are meant to be very heavy-handed, simulating a late-90s / early-00s young adult novel. The reason for that is specifically because the main actors are meant to be Twilight, Cadance, and significantly later Sunset, after CPA has been properly established. That is, all girls.The reason I used such descriptions for Sombra is that, from Twilight's view, she's his entire world. Twilight (forma del unicorna) and Twilight (forma sin hoova) are two different kinds of characters. I found EQG's interpretation of Twilight lacking proper, especially in Friendship Games. Sci-Twi is shown to have an obsessive, maniacal streak at times, and while the writing team jokingly used her to poke fun at mandates forced upon them (for example, listing off reasons why Sunset isn't allowed to break into the school after an entire visualized sequence showcasing it). In my mind, this kind of Twilight that hasn't been shown a better way and is obsessed with academic success would lionize someone like Sombra, leading to her having a crush on the man. Combining the total authority of Sombra with Twilight's preference for order also solves a major narrative problem. Twilight is now an antagonist due to her ignorance of the implications of forcing a false equality specifically because she benefits from it as "prefect". This puts her at odds with the idea of "friendship is magic" since, as prefect (read: huge fucking narc), she is friendless, meaning she doesn't have "real magic" (once it's introduced to the story). She has power, but it isn't "real", since it all comes from the students' fear of Sombra.I don't see this existing as a prequel because Principal Cinch is such a non-character. I'm sure a better writer than me could do that. I'm not going to.>Overall, it feels like an adapted screenplay.I have a tremendous writing problem, one I've had since middle school. I struggle to write stories, because (as almost every English teacher I've had from elementary to university puts) I write speeches. I'm an excellent public speaker, but the consequence of that is that I'm a poor narrative writer. I've wanted to try writing for a while, but every time I do, my flaws start to creep out. Add in the fear of editing, and each short story ends up dead. That brings me back to the beginning of the discussion.I really am thankful a few of you took the time to look over the document. When I finish editing and writing another chapter, I'll let you all know. Hopefully it continues to be engaging enough for you all to want to keep offering suggestions to me.
>>41582145I want to see these colorful autistic horses kiss each other. Simple as.
>>41582861>I'm not going to.Based.>I have a tremendous writing problemYou'll fit right in here.>I've wanted to try writing for a while, but every time I do, my flaws start to creep out.This is normal. If you haven't written a lot of narratives, then you don't have well-developed narration skills. If you practice, you get better. Everyone does. It's the same as any other skill. It's really obvious in some long works of fanfiction because often the authors start with near zero experience and make basic technical errors, while by the end they're often at least minimally competent. But it's also obvious if you read professional authors. Someone's first published novel is often more poorly written than their tenth.>fear of editingAs a conscientious beginning writer, it can be hard to reach the point where you feel comfortable putting your work in front of others, even for feedback. You should keep in mind that you improve faster if you have people help you. They will spot things that you don't and make good recommendations that would not have occurred to you. And that's still true even after you have experience—there's a reason why writers have editors.>each short story ends up deadShort stories are easier to finish than novels. They give you the chance to publish something complete, which feels good, and to collect feedback. On a more base level, on a site like Fimfiction they also get you followers and build up your reputation; your work gets more interest when you have a good reputation. (Though if you really want lots of followers, you need to write either a ton of short stories or something longer that gets people hooked.)
>>41583113So true, bestie~
>>41583354Don't even really have an OTP. If it's cute it's cute.
Oh no, we're stuck in a timeloop!>/FSSBC/>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/25966/austraeoh (4/5)A lot happened this week, and at the same time, it was also kind of exactly like last week's portion. The author seems to have found the writing direction for the fic, so we go:>resolve local conflict->get a power-up->leave through harsh wilderness->meet a small group of ponies->more travel->arrive at the next Story Arc location->meet the next NPCThis is the third time it happened, and at this point, I'd almost expect RD to solve the problem and get another skill point in turn. That doesn't mean the fic is bad, but I do hope the structure gets a little more unpredictable. Not that it really needs to—as a consequence of sticking to a similar plan, all my points from the last two weeks (I think?) could be repeated here. So, imagine I did that and save me 2k characters of repeating myself.Some things are new, though. Firstly, while last week RD got a more concrete goal (well, she always knew what her goal was, but now she knows more about it, too), this week marks a significant character moment. No longer does RD need to doom about her fate; now she has a Purpose as well as a goal. Being 'the spark' of a sleeping world is pretty cool, and I'm looking forward to reading more about it in the last section, assuming it's not all Easthorse sequel stuff. Silvadel seems to be a major location on the level of Darkstine, but so far I think I liked the unicorn guard boomer more. I liked that short time she spent watching the view from the border outpost and hearing about the desert and the faint echoes of mysteries from the east. The section with RD chatting with him as she braved the desert was really good, too. Making him think RD jobbed to a dragon was an unfortunate way to end that part of the story; I hope he doesn't go back on his decision. And who knows? Maybe he comes back in a future Easthorse book.Speaking of secondary characters, Steelteeth's tech feels more advanced than even the pre-Equestrian stuff we've seen. This, combined with the lore description of this week's ruins, makes me wonder if we'll be going a little more high-tech than it had seemed at first.And was Silvadel's ruling class the first example of a slightly clunky retcon? I mean, maybe he planned it from the start, but introducing a kingdom as a benevolent oligarchy only to go to "nah, we've had kings as well, and this dude is the prince" is a little weird. Next week? RD is certainly not even close to reaching her goal yet, so will the fic provide a resolution regardless, or will the adventure seamlessly continue into book 2? Will the last arc follow the same structure? Will I run out of solo RD pics?The last one is unlikely, but we'll find out about the rest in the grand finale of:>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/25966/austraeohWe're finishing the fic! But you should decide what we'll read after, too:>https://ponepaste.org/8813
>>41583417tldr but cute dashie
>>41583420Anon, this is the fourth week of discussion about a 200k+ word fic.But yea, she is cute.
>>41583417Okay, first of all. I need to bring up something I mentioned last week.The Austraeoh movie project was dead from conception. There were dozens of reasons, but I think the final nail in the coffin was the foal pit. You can't do a pit filled with foal corpses in a PG movie. What was the solution?They wanted to turn Darkstine into a musical number that would gloss over the dead foals.Hilarious.I wish they could've made that movie. It would've been the biggest clusterfuck ever.>a little more high-techOh, just you wait until the airships.I'd forgotten much about Silvadel, but I like it. I'm vaguely reminded of that underground city in The Matrix. Less raves, though. It's quite sad how the concept of "seasons" and "grass" is foreign to them, because all they know is dragons.Also, there was another movie like that, wasn't it? With Christian Bale. Dragons are unearthed in London and they lay siege to the city. I think that's where the inspiration came from.Overall, I think this is a good ramping up to the climax of Austraeoh. I look forward to the reaction to the way the story ends.And remember: Stratopolis is a myth
>>41583509>the foal pitPutting aside how Duke got characterized as a misguided idealist when he was literally punting foals into a pit, I think that the dragons' torture victim was far, far worse. The description was very gruesome for a T-rated fic with zero death tags, and we didn't really read anything close to it previously. Yeah, the foal pit, but at least that was something where RD saw the outcome, not the thing happening in front of her. A dying, crucified mare with a ruptured and rotting stomach is... a lot for the fic's tags. I know some of them weren't here in 2012, but still, it felt much more brutal than anything else in the fic. Even the monsters they slaughtered in Windthrow had nothing on this.That movie does sound hilarious. After last week I actually remembered hearing about it somewhere, but I can't remember where it was.>It's quite sad how the concept of "seasons" and "grass" is foreign to themAnd apparently so are 'Sun' and 'Moon', which makes no sense given their hunting trips outside.>Stratopolis is a mythShe was pretty clear about that. Twice. I was going to say it'll probably be the last location, but that sounds too easy.
>>41572497>Spike fucked everything up, even in G1.Amazing!
>>41583509Reign of Fire, 2002.
>>41583543That's the one!Matthew McConaughey throws himself into the mouth of a Dragon. Good times.>>41583537I severely doubt anyone in the movie project thought that far ahead. They were just rolling with whatever happened next.
>review https://www.fimfiction.net/story/561072/journals-of-harmony-chaos-at-hogwartsThe fic is now cancelled. By its author's own admission, it was a Mary Sue fic and repeats the mistakes of their other recent fics. I hardly need to say what said mistakes are, since the author has made them so consistently. I think that the author has trapped himself. Because he does not want to rewrite the first few Harry Potter books again, each Hailey Potter rewrite has been steadily adopting more mechanisms to let the author skip the earliest books. The Girl who Didn't Just Live (Hailey Potter 6.0) had most of its first year in letters-fic form and this fic (Hailey Potter 8.0) is a journal fic. Doing this much skipping only harms the writing, particularly the characters. Once this damage is done, the fic is beyond repair.The second key issue has been in all of the fics in The Boy Who Disappeared's re-write chain: Harry and his friends become powerful far too quickly and this applies in every sense of the word "powerful": physical, magical, political, whatever. I wonder if this is also an attempt to accelerate the plot, but I don't think that's the truth. After all, overpowered MLP characters have been in the author's HP works since day one.Oh, sorry: Did I forget that this is allegedly an MLP crossover? That's the thing with the fics in The Boy Who Disappeared's re-write chain. Because the HP cast is so overpowered, the MLP cast members are basically non-existent. They were relevant and even in character back in the days of The Gate, but they contribute almost nothing here. Replace Bonbon with James Bond and you could just as easily call this a crossover with his stuff. In these rewrites, the MLP characters only exist to make the HP characters even more powerful. The fics in The Gate's rewrite chain were the author's strongest HP/MLP works.There are several OCs, but you needn't know who they are. They are all just Mary Sue. The author opened a raw wound of my country's when he had the queen of England turn up to cheer on Mary Sue's football game.
>>41583761So are you going to read Hailey Potter 9.0 when it inevitably comes out?
>>41583892Yes, but increasingly reluctantly. The author's notes are fortunately suggesting that he might go back to the format of the other rewrite chain (The Gate's).
Whatever happened to Bohemeth? It that trollfic still going?
>>41584058Book 1 has been finished for a while, Book II is currently in limbo because I need a reread of Book 1 and to sort out my life to the point where I can actually commit to that kind of writing again. Also, while I understand where the sentiment might be coming from, at no point did I write it with the intent of it being a trollfic.
Does anyone know about archive of deleted fics?I have noticed that a lot of great shit was scrubbed off of fimfiction, be it due to rule changes or account deletion.Even Fimfetch deleted a lot good shit from it's caches.It there another place where fics are aggregated?
>>41584076https://foalfetch.net/
>>41584091I wish this was run by someone less incompetent. It's still better than Fimfetch's outright malice, but there's still a bunch of broken stuff.
Okay I got itDaybreaker adopts Twilight
>>41584207And the latter adopts a mating posture.
>>41582145Men like cute girls. Men like cute girls kissing other cute girls.
>>41584248yurifags are, at best, failed men.
>>41584262Real men like yaoi.
>>41584183It's not better than FiMFetch's malice, because bearing malice towards pedo shit is good. Related to that, actively soliciting pedos to join your site (it's right there in the name) is bad.One person can run a contentless site fairly easily, but running a content site requires a bunch. It's already difficult to get a team together, and it's exponentially moreso when nobody knows for sure which one of them is going to invite the party van (Eastern European, or otherwise) because of their side projects.
i just found out how to turn the mature slider oni thought they just banned anything 18+ on this dumb website. i didn't realize half the site was missing
>>41584306You're so funny.
>>41584342Turn it off, save your soul.
>>41584371it is too late, anoni have seen everything
>>41584306An archive site that doesn't archive is useless. An archive site that changes its goals about what to archive partway through its run is actively harmful.I'll never download a single foalcon fic from it, but going back like on the explicit purpose of the site is quite literally the worst thing you can do. It'd be one thing (still bad) if he decided to not host any content even potentially affiliated with foalcon faggots, but that's not what happened here. Wait five or ten years until the owner decides that, I don't know, all traces of gay romance must be expunged and wipes all of your precious tunafics from it overnight.
>>41584380Whataboutism isn't the only 'tism you've got.
>>41584387>whataboutismNot when it already happened. Fics were intentionally deleted from the fimfic "archive" site. Saying anything more is making excuses.
>>41584306>bearing malice towards pedo shit is goodThe word "malice" suggests spiteful hatred and a willingness to do evil. You're saying it's good to do evil if the goal is to combat evil; but two wrongs don't make a right. When you're malicious, you're part of the problem, even if you have good intentions.
>>41584408Rape victims often go on to commit heinous acts themselves; the cycle of abuse is a vicious one.
>>41584408Underage sex in fiction isn't evil in the first place anyway.
>>41584434Why someone that uses /mlp/ is acting like a moralfag tho?
>>41584434It is on SSRIs.>>41584441Well, ESL-kun, when a young autist and a friendly stranger get close...
>>41584446What do drugs have to do with it?Also >>41584444
>>41584207For what purpose?
>>41584479>picCute.>postSee above.>>41584459I must assume he's heavily medicated, how else would he avoid confronting all this damage?
>>41584434Easily the one of the most retarded things I’ve ever read on 4chan
>>41584505You responded to the wrong post.
>>41584516Easily one of the most retarded things I've ever read on 4chan
>>41584505Explain to me how art should be limited to avoid offending your sensibilities and upsetting your fragile psyche with unwanted feelings. How you need media to be a hugbox and artistic expression should be mutilated. Tell me about how you want to establish thought crimes.
>>41584535>projectingLmaoAlso, on this subject, what evidence would you need to see to change your mind?This question is a test so see of you are just rationalizing some emotion of subconscious drive.
>>41584380An archive site that doesn't archive some things is as useful as the things it does archive, which is like 99.999% of fics, so that's not an argument. Furthermore, your slippery slope is not only absurd on its face, but I've already said that I think it's fine to treat pedo shit differently from the rest. If you honestly wanted to make an argument from that perspective, you'd have relied on Nazis, and not Tuna. It would still be just about as weak.>>41584408Should I have made it more obvious that I was mocking the original poster's subversion of the word "malice?" What fimfetch has done is not wrong. Further, it's not like foalfetch's raison d'être would go away if the thing doing the deleting was a completely dispassionate LLM. And if it was a completely dispassionate LLM doing it, fimfetch would get the same benefits.
>>41584552Underage sex is a unit of content. It has no moral weight. It's sterile. It's no different from any other element a plot might incorporate, be it rape, love, death, birth, friendship, war, or anything else. Individual works may indeed be found reprehensible under an agreeable moral lens. To ascribe negative morality to a subject in such a blanket way is completely foolish.
>>41584076As usual, decentralized methods are superior:https://www.fimfiction.net/user/116950/Fimfarchive
>>41584588What if I don't want to sully my computer with (You)r fics by downloading everything published on Fimmy? What if I just want that one purged LunaPip fic?
>>41584555It's funny how you act all morally righteous about this and then turn around and gladly jerk off to rape and dubcon of your OTP.
>>41584479Because it's be cute to see a tiny autistic child cool her flaming heart
I wish we were talking about comedy fics instead of another pointless fucking foalcon debate.>>41583417>going a little more high-techIt's funny that I've never read Norse Words and still know the answer to this. Also,>2 reviewersWho would have thought this would be the fic to kill the schizo club.>>41583509>into a musical numberWhy didn't they just rewrite it? Have it be a slavery pit where the foals toil in mines for the rest of their lives or something (sounds like a G1 plot now that I think about it). Plenty of adaptations change canon for various reasons.>>41584058>trollficIt is clearly a schizofic, not a trollfic.>>41584588They need to bump up the archiving time. A lot of fics can fall between the cracks in three months.
>>41584946>slavery pitWith how the film industry's been going lately, it might be better as a brothel.
>>41584946>Why didn't they just rewrite it?They really wanted a musical number, and skipping over the dead foals was a good a time as any. And it wasn't much better when they rewrote stuff...Skirts's prose is very heavy, but whether you think this is good or bad, I think everyone can agree that Rainbow Dash would never speak the way skirts does.Which is why I was against (but was eventually outvoted) the idea of having some of the better lines of narration be turned into Dash monologuing in the middle of nowhere.It's truly baffling, but hilariously so.
This reminds me: DST happened in the land beyond the sea. I'm pretty sure burgers are a week behind on that so you can expect the Sunday's clubpost an hour "late" one time.>>41584946>kill the schizo club.There were fics where the schizo club OP was the only anon posting; 2 (other) anons is plenty.
>>41585021Just give out Unix timestamps.
