Howdy, partner!What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses. Plus late night pink antics.Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:~~~~~>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."~~~~~Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.THREAD 376, THE LAST RIDE OF THE QUEENS!
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366 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40495045367 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40623606368 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40730260369 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40805318370 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40885602371 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40989935372 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/41062407373 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/41150451374.1 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/41264550374.2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/41354614375 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/41496259Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.Check out the pastebin here:http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejackCurious what happened last time?Check out the previous thread here: >>41496259You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and stuff used in these stories!Check it out here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_WikiConfused about when a character first showed up? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here:https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharingAre you interested in the dark side of these threads?Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:http://pastebin.com/u/NSFT_NotSafeForTwo_And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/
>Applejack"Celestia"~~~~~>Hey, Tia? Ah've gotta question."Hrm.">Ain't in the mood ta' argue?"I'm not in the mood for most things right now.">It ain't important."Well, now I'm curious.">Ah've just always wondered, how did ya' take it when the captain of yer' guard wanted to marry yer' niece?"I was obviously supportive, having seen the love and adoration they shared for each other, I knew that this moment would surely lead to a marriage that would be fulfilling and joyous and-">But how did a' actually feel."I demanded to know where he got off thinking he was worthy of my niece and immediately challenged him to a one on one duel. He accepted">Ya' fought him!?"Not at all, if he was willing to do it was the real test. Besides, I would've smoked him cold turkey.">Kinda mean, what if Cadence didn't want to marry a fighter?"Then she wouldn't marry a guard?">No but like iffin' ya' did this test on like, a diplomat, they wouldn't be able to fight back."I would've made him do a diplomacy act to prove it, then. Convince me like he would've convinced another nation to give up a valuable resource.">Oh, sounds like ya'll were prepared."I like to think so.">Tia? How many possibilities were ya' prepared for?"Oh, you know, not that many.">Tia."Just a couple, really.">Celestia."Wellll, I suppose I might've gone overboard when I made the test for the potential bowling champion who wooed her.">And how long did all these tests take to make?"Do you want minutes? Hours? Days? Er, weeks?">Ya'll wasted so much time on imaginary date fights that ya' could've spent using to better Equestria and ITS ALL YER' FAULT!"Yeah, I know. Wish I hadn't wasted it and spent more time with him, instead.">Oh. Right."He probably thinks I was so silly, wherever he is.">Iffin' it makes you feel better, Ah' think yer' silly too."You know, it doesn't.">Heh. He was so very proud of you, ya' know. He always knew you could do it."Same to you, of course.">It's gonna be a long trip home, you know."Oh, I know. Plenty of time to remember. And, to miss what we left behind."
Pinkie Previews!>Applejack says don't let the door hit you on the way out! >Twilight says goodbye, and thanks for all the fish! >Spitfire says parting is such sweet sorrow, whatever that means! >Big Mac is gonna hitch his wagon and head out! >Braeburn says hit the road, jack, and don't you come back no more!>Cadence has already packed her bag, and feels like she forgot something for the trip! >Wait, Pinkie's leaving already!? But the party just started! >the CMC have to make their daring escape before it's too late! > And Departure fanservice!
>>41623245Dawwww
>>41623220Damn spooky
>>41623245NC>SA~~>I'm technically not dead, you know! I can hear you!...>I mean you can't hear me, but still!...>Need to get my ass a Tree...
>>41624335>I shall become, the Elements of Guardians!... FOR DUDES THIS TIME!
>>41624603Duding it for themselves!
>>41624335NC>SA"Salt"~~~>Can you believe her talking over me like that?POW"OW OW OW OW OW! GLIMMER STOP! ABUSE! ABUUUUSEEE!">Crazy, mare.
>>41625232>...has she been hitting you this whole time?"WHY ISN"T ANYONE STOPPING HER!?">It's a real mystery champ
>>41625465They want the show, simple as.
>>41625465NC>Dash"Twilight'~~~~>...sooo, due to the fact he looks like Shining, should we-"HIT HIM HARDER!">Oh okay you're at that point of the grief thing, gotcha.
>>41625990>Look I'm not saying you shouldn't but also this might come back in therapy
>>41624603You mean Guardians of Harmony- whoops cancelled
>>41626174Damn I miss them maybe talking a chance
>>41626315Alas, too expensive.
>>41626540And the comics didn’t do a very good job promoting them.
>>41626877Whaaaa? You mean fried chicken in place of the actual merch didn’t make kids want it?Also I was hoping this stupid system would go away now that the things over…
>>41627210Gonna get worse for a bit
>>41627306>Dont worry, it’ll only get worse
>Spike"DT"~~~>... I knew I was into big girls."What?">What?"...">...DT tries to stand on her tippy hooves, subtly
>>41627793CUTE
>Derpy"Cloudchaser"~~~~>So you think we're going to remember this?"Oh yeah for sure, it'll be a cosmic something or other that makes us remember. Just so we can tell our grandkids about this! Or someone elses grandkids, if we're not gonna have any. Which I might not, if only because they'd challenge me for the throne, and I'd have to kill them.">...wo... would you have to kill them? Why not just give them their own throne?"You see this? This talk, right here... is how you get me pregnant. Good job!">...wut.
>>41628237Like her specifically?
>>41628658I mean... magic
>>41628949>Harmony~~~~>Oh heck no I’m not rewiring that>Yall don’t understand nerve endings
I bring art. Also Cadence is in danger.
>>41629550oh no, where is she going and what is she doing?
>>41629550Look at her go!Off to adventure no doubt.
>>41629550Don’t worry she missed most of it shining not too much.
>>41629550Don’t worry she can fly away.
>>41629550But is she in love?Would she c-c-chooose me?
>>41629550She looks like she’s having a fun time with recent events
>>41629550>Shes not sure how to tell everyone she’s pregnant>Again
>>41629550>Its fiiiinnnneeeee
>>41629550>>41630335Well on the positive side she’d be pretty far from a single mom
>Pinkie“Discord”~~~|>… I’m surprised you weren’t involved.“I got beat by a bunch of necklaces twice let’s not oversell what I can do.”>I meant as a distraction!“…”>That came off mean.“…”>…“… youre lucky I know you’re just sad your adventure buddy is gone.”>Sniffl…
>>41630953NC>Cadence"Chrysalis"~>I refuse to be a single mom!"Soooo... abortion?">WHOA! I meant marriage! Remarry!"Ohhhhh, yeah that makes more sense.">Girl!"I'm a Queen, late term abortions were the norm. Like... really late.>THE FU
>>41631515>We took out more chicks then the Chineighs!
>10"Scorpris"~~~The smaller changeling didn't say anything, as she sat beside her mother. All she did, ultimately, was glance to the side, and sigh.>I..."I know."The message was quick, definitive, and without a hint of hesitation."It's not... what I was hoping for.">Yeah..."I know it must've been what you were expecting, though.">They always did manage to save the day, in the end...She couldn't even force the smile to cross her face. It died halfway, unexpectedly. Her mother knew all about that."Glad someone lived up to your beliefs...">Mom-"It's fine."She cut her off so fast, the Queen almost hid the crack in her voice."It's fine. I... I made my choice. We could've stuck together, I could've worked with her. Could've swallowed my pride instead of trying to be the top Queen, when our numbers were already so low. I took my shot, I lost it. It's fine."Her daughter knew all of this, she'd already spelled out everything in the last interview she would ever give. Every word spoken was more to remind herself, more than anything, and both of them knew it well."I'm glad you found someone better than me to look up to."They both knew, why the other was crying.>... I still love you."I know... I know..."They knew their time, brief as it was, was almost over."...I'm proud of you."What a blessing it had been, to have any at all...
>>41631996Awww
>>41632154Gone too soon…
>>41632309She’ll be back again someday!
>>41632719She’s a queen, not a snowman.
>>41631996>I'm still not telling them my name is Scorpling."ITS SO CLEVER THO
>>41633376She’s got one thing let her have it
>Titania"41"~~~~~>...this sucks."It's not great.">I was finally gonna hit on her!"Like... physically?">Yes. It would get very physical."..">What?"...">WHAT!?
>>41634162We know she’s Tsun
>>41634491She never got to tell her how she felt
>>41634910>Titania"41"~~~>If only you knew how much I wanted to SMASH"IN! WHAT! CONTEXT!"
>>41635226Would’ve called her mom
>>41635412Oh my
>>41635226She doesn’t even know herself.
>>41635811or maybe she knows too well.
>Pinkie“Limestone”~~~~>… you think we’ll remember this?“I hope so.”>Because of all the friendships we made along the way?“Because I finally got to do something and you assholes are going to say I did nothing again otherwise!”>… and you might have a date-“SHUT UP!”
>>41636292NC>Twilight"Applejack'~~~~~~HYPOTHETICAL AFTER THE BATTLE>...Hey, have you seen Shining?Above her, so powerful she warps the very cosmos to her body, the giant golden maned mare shook her head in negative."Ain't seen him."Her shifty eyes could have shifted the very galaxy to the side.>...you look different."Got a manecut.">...looks good."Thank a' kindly."
>>41636467You can always tell when she's trying to impress someone
>>41636697>Soooo, whos' the lucky guy?"...concept of time itself?">How nice!
>>41636292>Limestone"Soundcheck"~~~>...Sooooooo... What are you doing after this?"Taking a month long vacation.">The correct answer is me..."What?">I said, we have a rock farm you can come see. Maybe spend a day or two? Or three?"Oh. I wouldn't want to impose-">JUST VISIT MY FARM!"...">...If you want. You don't have to..."Well, I guess I could do with some sightseeing, so... sure. I'll drop by.">...Eeeee!
>>41637148Nailed that whole social thing
>>41637458She needs practice!
>>41637785>How u doiinnn......>I'm a natural
>>41638206Seems like she's got the bullet points don't know what you're on about
>>41638206she’s got it.
>>41638206>The joeyclassic
>>41639129The duels were on Halloween!
>>41629550I seriously have been trying to say INTO THE WIKI IT GOES for a day. A. Day.But every time I try that stupid 900 second timer RESETS. Over and over and over! I have shit to do!INTO THE WIKI IT GOES and I hate this system!
>>41639324It's been a real pain
>>41638206>Limestone"Marble"~~~>Hey, sis, gimme your best pickup lines."..">I wanna know how to attract a guy!"...">I'm being serious-POWMarble walks off.>...you know I don't know why but I understand.
>>41639845"IT SHOULD'VE BEEN MEEEEEE
>>41640060Poor girl
>>41640060>Limestone~~~~>I would never imagine two for two universe wise>But
>>41640614It really does defy expectations
>>41640614>Now, can I go for three...
>>41640614Miracles do happen.
>>41641179Especially when you’re literally magic.
>>41641451And magic tree.
>>41640614>Limestone"Pinkie"~~~~>...Is it too early to spike the ball, or-"Lets get to date one before we get to that point.">...does... does this count?"...">I don't know how this works...
>>41642031She can learn!
>Derpy"Cloudchaser"~~~~>...so is he dead, or?"Which one?">Shining Armor."Did you not pay attention to the wail of sadness? Come on! Even I'm not that dumb! Idiot!">I meant the one getting hit by the purple mare."Oh.">..."Yeah we should probably check for a pulse."
>>41642429If he twitches just give stitches
>>41642429>Glimmer"Salt"~~~~>You know they probably think this is a distraction or something."GAHHH!">They're wrong
>>41642868She knows what she's doing.When in doubt put on a show
>>41643098>Glimmer"Salt"~~~~>You're very convincing!"OF WHAT!?">Being in pain!"I AM!">Well method acting isn't for everyone.
>>41641010>Limestone"Marble"~~~>I have an idea!"What's that?">Why don't we make you one out of crystal!"...">I mean Harmony's right there it's possible..."...get the glue."
>>41643499Magogo proves its canon
>>41643683Or Harmony is single
>>41644080And lonely…
>>41644080NC>Harmony"Igneous"'Cloudy'~~~~>..."..."'...'>SOooooooo, about dating your daughter..."..."'...'>...I am technically a rock."...We approve."'Proceed.'>Really? That's enough for you?"If we may be truthful, anything to keep from having to take her down with the Hearths Warming decorations..."
>>41644579Any port in a storm
>>41644579"...how does it work-">Badly!
>>41644987Ask Chitty for some TItan juice.
>BBB"Scorpris"~~~>..."...">BZZT! PROCESSING SYMPATHY... IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, HOWEVER LONG IT LASTED!"...You take good care of my girl, you hear me? Or I'll haunt you.">BZZT... affirmative..
>>41645459Best boy
>>41645459Dawww
>>41645459He's best camerapon for a reason
>>41646175Because he’s pretty much the only one.
>>41646427There was that other guy we haven’t seen him for over 100 threads.
>>41646636And that guy who died/didn't die with Pommel
>>41646874Money Shot can’t compete with the power of love, literally!
>>41647113>Absolutely nobody cares BBB has a soul forged out of 10's love
>>41647349>Scorpris"BBB"~~~>...So what the fuck are you, exactly?"BZZT! BLUEBLOODBOT IS THE BEST CAMERAPONY IN THE WORLD.">..."...bzzt.">...How."BZZT. IRRELEVANT.">Okay...
>>41647554Look he is what he is
>>41647349>...does that mean he's a part of your soul or something?"Bitch I don't know do I look like a magic scientist? I'll ask Twilight when she stops SOBBING"
>>41648101But she loves learning!
>>41647554>"BZZT. IRRELEVANT."I mean to him, yeah. What's he gonna do, ask if he can get a refund on existence?
>>41648565>BBB"Applejack"~~~~~>BZZT! AM I A REAL BOY?"Ah' ain't no blue Fairy.">...INQUIRY, MAY I BE A REAL BOY?"Now yer' askin' the right questions! Let mess with the natural order!"
>>41648828Baels proved this is not out of her worldview
>>41648101She’s more magic god then scientist
>>41649351They are all magic gods that away.
>>41649351Eh, semi. we have the real deal after all.
>>41649969Godling!
>>41650185Demogod is right there
>>41650387>Chitania~~~>Demogod... FUCK that title was RIGHT THERE
>>41650750I think Kratos has that cornered
>>41649351>10"Twilight"~~~~>Miss Twilight? Would you classify yourself as a demigod, magic god, or magical centerpoint?""BAWWWWWWW!">I'll come back later."BAWWWHHAHWWWW!
>>41651227>...can I get a comment on your feelings?"SHINNYYYYYYYYYYY!">...how many Y's is that?
>>41651419Look just put down' "No comment' like a good journalist
>>41651649No, you put down she was "Vocal"
>>41651910>Princess Twilight respectfully requested no further questions in this time of grief.>Her primary method of communications is lasers, and since I need to fill the rest of this column, I will now go on a long description of how lasers can lead to communication...
>>41652223And that's how they found CD's!
>>41652422I mean BBB is a bit more complex
>>41652697> our technology.> consistPick one.
>>41653086Yeah he has scanners, it must work like that.
>>41653365>Scorpris"BBB"~~~~>...how do you see?"BZZT! WITH THIS UNIT'S EYES.">No, I mean like..."...">Nevermind.
>>41653649He's just telling it like it is
>>41653649Where is the lieWhere is it
>>41653649>… so what’s the technology level exactly?“BZZT! Whatever we feel like who’s going to correct us
>>41654566He got away with everything
>Shatterhoof"Crumbles"~~~>You know, it's almost inspiring."Don't.">Learning that in a battle of literal gods, it all came down to what one mortal chose to do, with what he had."Not the time.">Learning that even the smallest speck can take down something beyond their comprehension..."Save it for the funeral if you really need to.">I'm just trying to... process it."...yeah, me too. He was the best captain, an amazing Prince, he was... a friend.">Yeah..."...h-heh, at least we don't have to worry about him stealing our marefriends too, right?">Dude."Let me process this my way I let you. I don't want to start crying.">You mean... crumbling?"...I hate you sometimes.">Yeah... me too...
>>41655255Man, that's sad
>>41655677They're processing!
>>41655990404 soon
>>41656205Look, the ain't the smartest, but...Pony
>>41656393Pony’s do be cute
>>41655255>Cloudchaser"Derpy"~~~>So would it be good taste or poor taste to make today a holiday?"...think his family might have a problem with it.">Orrrr, would they think it was cool?"Problem with it for sure.">ORRRRR, would they think this is honoring him?"More a bitter reminder.">ORRRRRRRR-"...">...just agree with me!"Nope.">You are the second worst assistant I've ever had!
>>41656958"Who was the first?">My sister. Made it all of 10 minutes before she stabbed me in the back. Like actually stabbed, with a knife."And you didn't report her!?">How was I going to explain the body I was moving, Derpy!? THINK!
>>41657173Well that explains where the knife came from
>Lavan"88"~~~>...I feel.. different."I know, big guy.">I did not know him. I know little of him. I have not spoken to him. But when I look at them, over there, I feel... something.>I know..."...It was the same feeling I had, when I knew they were gone.">Your... siblings, I guess we can call them?"Not accurate in the most literal sense, but it is as close as I can correlate. When I learned they had chosen annihilation, true eradication rather than be a part of this world, I felt... something, inside myself. Something I don't think I've ever felt, before. I've only ever seen it in others, like you."It's called sadness, big guy. You're sad.">Sadness... this does not please me."I'm sorry.">It does not please me that they would fail to understand how much is still left to see in this universe. Everything that is so... interesting. Something more to discover, in the end. It does not please me to see that all this time they've spent in this world, all this time she made them watch and experience, and all they cared for was to escape it. I wish we could have seen so many things, together."...it was their choice, in the end. You made yours, and Lavan... you made the right one.">...Sadness...The great being of fire slumped.>This displeases me.It took one brave little bug, to give him the hug she knew he needed.>...how wonderful friendship is, it is sad they will never know it.
>>41657659Poor guy
>>416580021/4 ain't bad
>>41657659>32"Lavan"~~>...wait what? Eradication? What!? I didn't know any of that!"Why would you?">I jus... I... all three of them died!? Last I saw they went into another universe, I think! It was a thing! I didn't get all of that being in the Morlock city, but like... it SEEMED like they left, right? Now they're dead!? WHAT HAPPENED?"They chose annihilation.">..."...">I hate you sometimes."That displeases me."
>>41658730Look everyone doesn’t get an info dump
>>41658898They can at least get a pamphlet
>>41659133Somewhere has magic paper powers
>>4165935818 is right here
>>41659133>Rarity"Dash"~~~~>...so should we try to bring everyone up to speed? Maybe explain why there's another Shining Armor, at least?"We do not have time for a six hour seminar, this shit got crazy.">Point."Also, how much do WE know? Applejack mentioned the whole... god thing, but like, what does this all mean? WE don't know that!">Also point."...">...at some point we lost the plot."She says to the only not god powered one..."
>>41659736Dash did get screwed over
>>41660089Look Dash gets her own little bragging rights
>>41660530>Dash~~>I just wanna remind everyone which bad bitch made it to the end un-superpowered.>So.>Suck it.
>>41660868What about rainbow power
>>41661164Doesn’t count!
>>41661389It's a powerup
>>41661389it even has the power of God.
>Rainbolt Red~~~~~~>...hm.It had been a wonderful battle, a truly amazing feat of clashing powers of which they were proud to have been a part of. They had even obtained their newest, most powerful form! As all great warriors of multiple colors were known to do in their final battle.So why, then, did this particular changeling among all his kind feel as if there was something missing?>Why...Why did he feel like he had lost something when he had fallen asleep, never to know it when he awakened? Why did he feel as if he had missed something he had forgotten, but could never escape?Why was the changeling known as Rainbolt Red, who had never held a name before that time, feeling as though he had forgotten something?>...I was... I was in the machine, wasn't I?Something in the battle before this final push. Flying through the air, clashing against the largest Titan to ever march across the world, defeating her finally in a single swipe of the Harmony Sword! It had been a thrilling battle, that clash. He remembered that.>Wait...So why did he feel like he was forgetting something?>...how did I get out of there?There was a whisper to his question, too faint to hear. A subtle voice, just out of the corner of his mind. A hint of something, and then... gone.>...oh.A memory, from long before he gained his name.>You...A face.>...you saved me?One he had almost forgotten.>But then, why didn't you come back?A lifetime ago, and then some.>Was it... me?Someone who had fallen, before she would ever know his name.>Did you save me?He turned as quick as he could, but no matter how fast, there was nothing over his shoulder.>...Thank you, mom.Only the faintest hint of a smile, in his memory.>I hope you're proud of me.
>>41662277>NOBODY TOLD HIMDicks
>>41662546>Red"Yellow"~~~~>WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ALL KNEW THAT AND JUST DIDN'T TELL ME!?"...surprise?">.."We both know why they made me do this."
>>41662898FUCKING YELLOW
>>41662898>Indigo"Green"~~~~>...did anyone write down her name by the way?"FUCK!"
>>41663385THEY WERE BUSY
>>41662898>I HAD A MOM!"We all have moms that's how biology works. Duh."
>>41663830Past tense tho
