touching children isn't "corruption" anon that's pedophilia

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>>41747398
you’re done

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>>41747401
only if some kiddies tell

>>41747398
Quit breaking the law, asshole!!

>>41747398
Anon... You're not actually being corrupt, are you?

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You can't just say "I'm being investigated for corruption at my workplace" and not elaborate, anon.

>>41747398
Turning normies into ponyfags is not corruption, Anon. It's salvation.

>>41747398
What did you do anon?

>>41747398
>t Flim and Flam

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>>41747398
Elaborate, faggot.

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>>41747398
OP works at a horse ranch and was caught touching the fillies (again)

>>41747398
w... what did you do, anon?

>>41747398
twilights not helping you out of this one bro

>>41747398
Did you vote for the incoming administration?
If not, you're fucked.
Better start perusing the want ads.

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>>41747398
>I am being investigated for corruption
>I need your best pics of the most corrupted mare

>>41747511
>>41747503
>>41747496
>>41747470
tldr I got a survival factory job back in November. 2 weeks into my employment I networked with the head of IT and got his personal email and phone number.

Then I applied for the company's IT jobs since I use to be a software developer. Before everything went to hell.

well 3 days ago I did some research and learned from a rumor that a certain HR lady was starting some ecommerce business.

so after my 3rd shift factory job I went to the hr office. There was a line to get to her so I started a conversation with another hr lady and asked who is the hr person for IT. She refused to tell me and somehow knew about the meeting I had with the head of it. And attempted to gas light me into saying that HR helped me get that meeting. When in reality I simply asked the guy for the meeting on linkedin. I told her no no she did not help me and that I did not like what she was attempting to do and ended the conversation.

After that I talked to the hr lady and offered her to make her a website if she could help me get a better chance of getting a it job. Something that I would normally charge someone like $300.

She said she could not do it. I said darn and thanked her for her time.

Went to bed and got woken up by a pissed off 40 year old karen bitch who I was warned by multiple people about that she is indeed a bitch. Yelling at me saying that I am being investigated for corruption for offering a "bribe" including software.

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>>41747567
>Talking to hr
See thats where ya fucked up. Those "people" are parasites who's existence is justified by their own self absorbed sense of "I'm helping!" And of course, they're women.

>>41747567
>After that I talked to the hr lady and offered her to make her a website if she could help me get a better chance of getting a it job. Something that I would normally charge someone like $300.
I strongly suggest you to take a professional medical test and have a proof that you're autistic.
What you did IS corruption, but you're clearly too autistic to understand that.

>>41747567
Oof, well, I realize you weren't trying to do anything bad, but yeah... that is... definitely something.

>>41747567
>survival factory job
You mean your job is to survive in a factory? Are you chink or something?

>>41747583
It would be an "elevator survival job" if he was a chink.

>>41747567
I respect you for not being a pussy and taking chances OP, unfortunately you forgot you were talking to a woman

>>41747583
bro I litterly applied for over 2 thousand software developer jobs over the past few months. This was not my first choice it was my last and I gave up trying to a dev job for the time being. Hence why I said a survival job

>>41747567
....anon, this is textbook. You're fucked. You cannot offer or ask for quid pro quo in any way in seeking employment or opportunities.

>>41747597
Sorry that happened to you anon.
But whatever you do never again attempt to engage in a quid pro quo arrangement... ESPECIALLY not ine involving personal services or personal financial gain

>>41747567
Yeah, that sounds like corruption, which means you're about to get hellfire rained down on you. It sounds like you wanted to make her a website to prove your mettle for the IT job, which is admirable, but yeah, she's an HR legalese-speaking karen who's primed for corruption charges. The best you can do is plead ignorance and hope they don't ruin your life. Sorry man. Shit's fucked.

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>>41747597
Don't wait too long. Tech evolves constantly and the longer you wait, the older that degree gets, and the more unappealing you look to employers. But honestly as far as your current job goes, you may be fucked there. Wish I had something helpful to say but I don't. Sucks to suck. Maybe after you inevitably end it all, Twilight might be waiting for you.

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>>41747398
you are so fucken boned
i apologize in advance but lmao

>>41747604
the absolute best case here is you're torpedoed at work, no more raises no more promotions, fuck and all forever because you got the mother of all write ups. More likely, OP is getting terminated with cause and in the absolute worst case, though unlikely since he didn't actually benefit, legal action

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>>41747567
Anon I wish you well but you did indeed fuck up.

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>>41747763
>>41747646
>>41747614
>>41747604
>>41747602
>>41747601
dammit whelp guess ill be homeless soon. I want to cry seeing that I ran out of options but I have no more tears left, I guess ill see you bastards in equestria.

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>>41747789
be strong anon things might not go horrible!

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>>41747789
Your story made you sound more oblivious and autistic then anything else. Unfortunately, for people like that, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time is all it takes. I hope things turn out, in the very least, not as shitty as everyone is making it sound.

>>41747789
Keep holding on Anon. You can always crawl your way back to stability.

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>>41747789
Things might look bad now, but everybody loves a redemption story.

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>>41747789
i salute ya, my brother in autism
hope they use lube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yRC1VJsCk8

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>>41747789
Good luck Anon.

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>>41747567
>offered her to make her a website if she could help me get a better chance of getting a it job. Something that I would normally charge someone like $300.

Anon, that's... that's a bribe. Kek. Well, at least you weren't doing it knowingly. Maybe appeal to autism can save you if you're properly apologetic and humble?

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>>41747866
That's not a twilight! Begone!

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>>41747567
rape that karen, she's a bitch because she didn't receive any cock in 10 years, you have nothing to lose so why not to try, anon?

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>>41747789
May I offer you Twilight's arse in these trying times?

>>41748480
I mean, if OP is cute he can offer his dick for a better chance of getting an IT job.
Obviously, this offer should be made in some cafe, not in the office.

>>41747509
That's it? a site for the HR girl? i expected something more juicy, like corruption with a few million dollars, involving at least a judge and a governor!

>>41747726
I hope he doesn't immediately lose this job. He just needs this to last long enough to find another "survival job".
>>41747789
Now that you are mentally prepared for the worst, try to come up with some good ideas on what to do if you immediately lose your income and home. A short-time loan to keep your home in temporary absence of income? Get an autism diagnosis and apply for neetbux? Know anyone who can temporarily house you or safely keep belongings you can't carry while living in your car (if you have a car and don't live anywhere winterly)?

Hang in there. Your worries are related to money, that's not worth killing yourself over. I'm rooting for you.

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>41747604
>>41747601
>never do quid pro quo
I thought its boomerspeak "networking" was all about oops

>>41748860
It is, but you never explicitly say it
And not to women
And never to HR

>>41748862
>it is
double standards my beloved I hate this planet so much its unreal

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>"Dear Princess Celestia"
>"Today, my good friend Anon learned that hard way that not all favours are good."
>"You see, there's nothing wrong with helping a friend in their time of need."
>"But offering under the table services in exchange for a job promotion is not friendship, that's called bribery."
>"Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

>>41748905
>job promotion
Wasn't even a promotion, from what I understand, more like a transfer to a completely different position.
But yeah, as
>>41748862
said... HR women, just stay the hell away from them. I never had to deal with any myself, but from what I heard over the years, there's not a single story that ends well when they're involved.

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I think you should seriously considering getting an autism diagnosis to fall back on
Hang in there, bud

>>41747726
>legal action
Lmao no, like you said without actual benefits or damages there would be pretty much no case (as far as I know, only criminal cases can be prosecuted without "damages", civil ones all need some kind of civil consequence that needs to be addressed). And nobody is going to bother suing OP's broke ass who wouldn't even be able to repay any judgement.

>>41748860
>>41748885
You see, it's like gift-giving, or general generosity. If you give your friend a lavish gift for their birthday and warmly congratulate them, chances are, they'll probably remember you and make an effort for your own birthday. If your friend needs to crash on your couch and you let them no strings attached, then next year if you urgently need to borrow $2000 he'll be more inclined to lend it no strings attached.
But if you say to your friend "I can give you such-and-such expensive gift for your birthday, but I want this-and-that for my birthday" then you'll just come off as greedy scum and at best your friend will cuss you out, at worst he'll just want nothing to do with you at that point. Hopefully you're not too autistic to understand this, right?

Networking is a mixture of this principle, as well as just generally getting to know people. If you keep in contact with Jim from IT in a previous job, then maybe next time Jim's new job is hiring, he'll remember you and think "oh, Anon would be a pretty good fit for his job", phone you up, put you up as a candidate and put in his word as recommendation, and you might find yourself with a shiny new job at no cost except occasionally exchanging emails with Jim to ask how things are going with him. Because if you were on good terms as colleagues and he knows you as a quality employee, it's a win-win for everyone: his company gets someone know to be good rather than gambling on hiring a complete stranger (no interview process is perfect). He either gets a quality coworker, or maybe even sometimes a referral bonus from his company.
Of course the chance of any given colleague being in a position to do this and deciding you're the correct person to recommend is pretty low, but that's why keeping a wide network is important. It's always easier to get hired if you know someone who knows someone who has an open position that happens to fit you, than it is by cold-calling.

>>41748905
kek

>>41747567
>Be me, femanon
>Have shitty HR job at the survival factory (manufactures prepackaged survival)
>Clock in, head for my office– there's already an actual, honest-to-god line of people waiting outside of it
>Fuck
>Hate this job, hate these people
>Middle of the day, coworker pops in to give me a heads up that one of the tards that puts the survival into the boxes has apparently escaped the assembly line and is asking for me by name.
>Legitimately wandering around the office, asking various random people about me specifically
>wtf.jpeg
>I don't even deal with that department
>Whatever, hopefully he'll give up after a while or or his handler will come find him
>An hour later the escaped tard has joined the line, I can see him out there
>Fuck
>He somehow manages to corner and interrogate the new HR hire while he's waiting, loudly demanding to know who the hr rep for IT (still not his department) is
>New hire, likely fearing for my safety and wellbeing, stammers and dodges his question
>Good girl. Will bring her a donut later if he doesn't eat her
>Overhear some of their conversation, realize he's applied for an IT position and is trying to "network"
>Oh my god, he's actually trying to cut some kind of deal with the fucking HR department
>New hire is trying to gently hint that this is a bad fucking idea, and get across subtly that I'm not allowed to hook him up with the IT department lead
>He suddenly, loudly proclaims "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO, FEMALE. YOU'RE GASLIGHTING ME!"
>Just starts repeating "THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER" any time she tries to say something
>He eventually gets to the front of the line and I have to meet with him
>mfw he actually tries to bribe me with making a website for my online business if I get him the position
>Oh god. Oh fuck no, no, don't make me do this paperwork
>Laugh nervously, try to pretend that he was just trying to demonstrate his tech savvy to prove he'd be a good fit for IT
>Reaching for any charitable interpretation where I'm not legally obligated to file the paperwork for receiving a fucking bribe offer and start a corruption inquiry
>He completely misses the message and doubles down, starts bringing up THE MONETARY VALUE of the service he's offering in direct exchange for me "improving his odds"
>Starts winking exaggeratedly
>Well fuck. There goes my afternoon.
>Try to explain to him that I can't do that
>He starts bending over and "accidentally" dropping his web-design portfolio, repeatedly
>Won't stop winking
>After a few dozen more attempts, he eventually realizes I'm not going to agree to this. Clams up, starts grumbling under his breath. I hear him mutter something about "karens" as he leaves the office.
>Have to spend the rest of the day filing the required report up the chain of command and dealing with red tape
>FML

>Fast forward a week, corruption inquiry is underway
>Mandatory workstation check
>mfw 50 gigabytes of My Little Pony porn discovered on his work computer

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>>41747567
>Talk I ng to HR
>HR is full spiteful mutant women
>Talking to women
>Trying to make deals with women
What the fuck were you thinking, Anon?

>>41747567
>HR

HR is there to protect the company from you, not to deal with your problems.
HR exists to fuck people up so the company can avoid responsibility for some weirdo stealing breast milk.

Don't ever go to HR for any opportunities, aim for team and department leads.

>>41747789
Pray to God.
Plead innocence claiming corruption is about money.

>>41747789
country?

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>>41749115
sides

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>>41749115

>>41749158
>Don't ever go to HR for any opportunities, aim for team and department leads.
This also, HR only exists for the admin work, HR doesn't do any hiring of their own initiative. The local team lead/shift lead/whatever manager does the interviews and asks HR to hire or not; HR just does the physical act of filling in the paperwork to materialise the employment, and provide oversight to make sure company policies are followed (so e.g. nepotism or discrimination laws aren't broken, enforcing headcount limits for hiring managers, etc).

So OP, there was literally no reason to go to HR to help yourself getting hired, you needed the IT team lead to agree to hire you and then HE would've gone to HR to get you transferred. For next time.

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>>41749115
Golly gee

>>41749115
Damn, the truth hurts when you see it from the other persons POV

>>41749158
its in the name, but subtle. They're not resources for humans, they're there to treat humans as resources.

>>41747567
So it's just your word against hers?

>>41747567
Anon, I'm pretty sure it is textbook corruption. Best course of action is to play dumb (shouldn't be too hard seeing what you did) or resign. I doubt they will go through with anything if you resign now. Time to live off benefits for a while if the country you live in has some, if not I hope there's a mcdonalds hiring in town cuz you're going to need it.

>>41749490
>resign
Anon he literally works in a survival factory. Putting survival into boxes on the assembly line or something.
Yeah what he did was against policy and shit, but in literal factory work this isn't a matter for "resignation" ffs. In fact, considering he probably has zero influence on hiring decisions, I bet it wasn't even a violation of any hiring/discrimination laws. At worst, he gets fired, in which case rip, but I don't see any situation where he would benefit in any way from walking away first.
With any luck he either gets off with some warnings and some HR screeching and maybe some autism training, or at least the whole hullabaloo takes some time and he can coast continuing boxing survivals while searching for another job for a little while.

Hell, OP, if you can get officially diagnosed with autism you might even be able to get them on some kinda discrimination thingy. Probably not to the point of counter-suing, but you could scare them into not doing anything brash, maybe let you off with a warning. Though if you've never talked to a shrink about it up till now you might not have the time to get anything certified, and I have no idea what your options will be if you get fired and then get diagnosed afterwards.

>>41749490
resigning is a retarded option in every case. Always make them shitcan you, especially for entry level bullshit jobs like this, and especially in a first world HRocracy where the only things a former employer can say about you when called for a reference are did you work there, how long, would you hire them back

>>41749490
>>41749507
>resigning from survival

>>41747866
>>41749115
>>41747577
It's not bribing. It's bartering, you retards. Completely legal.

>>41749018
>"I can give you such-and-such expensive gift for your birthday, but I want this-and-that for my birthday" then you'll just come off as greedy scum
Well, no. If I ask for a pokemon I can't get in my game for a pokemon they can't get in theirs, that's just being an opportunist, like asking a friend do go play magic the gathering with you. Of course you also like to play. That doesn't make you a scumbag.
>>41748905
>But offering under the table services in exchange for a job promotion is not friendship, that's called bribery."
How is asking for improved chances at a job promotion in exchange for services somehow criminal while asking for 300 dollars or a collectors baseball card you want in exchange for services not?

>>41747577
Double posting here. I don't actually think you are all retards. That was uncalled of me. An actual retard would be smarter than you.

>>41747789
Homelessness it not bad
Apply for foodstamps, unemployment, and disability and you'll live like a king
Once I get my chemical engineering degree I think I'll take that route

>>41750436
>Well, no.
>Here's a completely different scenario
Pokemon are very specifically collectables that are meant to be traded. When you trade pokemon it's not a gift or some shit. It's completely inapplicable

>How is asking for improved chances at a job promotion in exchange for services somehow criminal while asking for 300 dollars or a collectors baseball card you want in exchange for services not?
The main reason is that the HR lady doesn't own the job or the promotion - the company does, and the HR lady merely represents the company. If the HR lady accepts some personal benefit and in return installs someone in a position that would not be to the best benefit of the company, the company loses out. This is effectively something similar to fraud. So it's in the company's interest to set policies that severely discourage this kind of approach.

If, for example, there was an auction for a rare baseball card and you offered a personal favour to the auction worker for him to rig the auction so that the card goes to you, that would also be bribery, because the two of you together would be defrauding the auction house out of the profits it would otherwise have gotten. Whereas if someone owns a baseball card outright, they're free to sell it to you for any kind of favour or gift it for free.

If the company was private AND the owner decided to hire OP in exchange for a personal website... well, it'd probably be a very weird business decision, but it wouldn't be bribery. (Maybe it'd fall afoul of anti-discrimination laws somehow, but that's a different issue.) The problem here is that the HR lady does not own the company and does not "own" the ability to hire someone; she's given the authority to do it on behalf of the company, with the understanding that she does it with the company's best interests in mind.

Probably not illegal for a non-state company - at least if it doesn't succeed - but also probably very much against company policy of all kinds.

>>41750493
>Pokemon are very specifically collectables that are meant to be traded. When you trade pokemon it's not a gift or some shit. It's completely inapplicable
OP wasn't giving the HR lady a gift, though? A gift is free. He wanted better chances in exchange. What's a better reason it's not applicable?

>The main reason is that the HR lady doesn't own the job or the promotion - the company does, and the HR lady merely represents the company. If the HR lady accepts some personal benefit and in return installs someone in a position that would not be to the best benefit of the company, the company loses out. This is effectively something similar to fraud. So it's in the company's interest to set policies that severely discourage this kind of approach.
It's true. She can't just give the job to anyone. She doesn't own the job. She works HR.
OP is obviously not asking for her to give him the company's job. He was asking her to give him better chances because she has contacts with people who actually do own the job OP wants and she can tip them off about his tech skills.

>, for example, there was an auction for a rare baseball card and you offered a personal favour to the auction worker for him to rig the auction so that the card goes to you, that would also be bribery, because the two of you together would be defrauding the auction house out of the profits it would otherwise have gotten. Whereas if someone owns a baseball card outright, they're free to sell it to you for any kind of favour or gift it for free.
This isn't analogous to our situation. I wouldn't be asking an auction worker to rig the auction or do anything illegal. I would be asking them to do something like improve my chances by getting me in contact people who own a bank that gives the best loans for auctions.
>The problem here is that the HR lady does not own the company and does not "own" the ability to hire someone;
No, but she does own her contacts. She can't hire you, but she can improve your chances by telling people about you.

>she's given the authority to do it on behalf of the company
How did you get that? She works HR, not recruitment.

>>41750675
>What's a better reason it's not applicable?
In that networking is exactly like a gift exchange and exactly NOT like trading pokemon. That's the entire point, and the entire thing OP got wrong. You should go get tested for autism, too, so if you ever fuck up the same way you'll be able to fall back on medical discrimination or something.

>He was asking her to give him better chances because she has contacts with people who actually do own the job OP wants and she can tip them off about his tech skills.
It depends on how you look at it. "Let me demonstrate my portfolio" is perfectly benign, I agree.
The problem is that the way OP went at it sounds more like "let me scratch your back, so you can put in a good word for me". Demonstrating tech skills is something you do at an interview or to an IT manager, not to a random HR lady. And you generally don't do it by doing a personal favour.
OP could have even asked the HR lady if she wanted to contract him for her website, offering to make the website for $300 (or whatever would be a fair price in the circumstances, probably less, but the point is not to have it be a personal kickback). That would have demonstrated his tech skills just as much as doing it for free. Hence why offering it for free sounds like a personal favour.

>she can improve your chances by telling people about you
See, again, it depends on how you interpret it. "Let me show you how good I am at making websites, so you can go tell the IT guys and see if they want to hire me" is not bribery - but it's very, very weird to do it through an HR lady.
"Let me do you a favour so you can put in a good word for me, pull some strings, shuffle some CVs around to make sure mine gets seen and others don't" - that's also a valid interpretation of OP's actions and, considering he chose not to go to the IT manager (who can actually do an IT skills assessment) and instead went to the HR lady (who doesn't do tech interviews, but who CAN shuffle CVs around and pull some strings) it can easily seem like the likeliest explanation in the eyes of corporate.

>she's given the authority to do it on behalf of the company
>How did you get that? She works HR, not recruitment.
Authority might be a strong word, but HR are often the ones to rubber-stamp hires, sometimes pre-screen CVs, and generally have a lot of influence on all the administrative process that drives hiring.
For example, if there was another candidate that looked very promising, and HR was trying to get OP hired, they might be able to just "lose" the CV of the competing candidate so he doesn't jeopardise OP's chances, or stuff like that. Depends on the exact company structure and its internal processes, sometimes HR may have more power sometimes less, but this is a factory which I would assume is probably pretty corporate and boomery.

>this debate on the ethics of corporate corruption
Anons, let's sit down for a second and assess the situation as it is, not as it ideally ought to be. Quid pro quo is an illegal act. It doesn't matter how minor. It doesn't matter if it's money, discounted/free services, or a pokemon card. OP fucked up. This is not to detract from OP's character, he might be an autistic faggot but he's /ourfaggot/. If you want to debate the law surrounding corruption, all I can say is, send a letter to your local legislator. That or crowdfund a lawyer to try to set a legal precedent on this incident (not that I think OP will be charged with anything or punished past being fired with cause).

>>41748905
Posts like this are why I browse this board

>>41750761
>In that networking is exactly like a gift exchange and exactly NOT like trading pokemon. That's the entire point, and the entire thing OP got wrong. You should go get tested for autism, too, so if you ever fuck up the same way you'll be able to fall back on medical discrimination or something.
So you can't network with people by asking if they have the opposite pokemon game from which you can both benefit by a transaction? You can't network by asking people to play a WOW dungeon with you because you need a healer for your guild? I don't know, OP. You sound like the autist here.
>The problem is that the way OP went at it sounds more like "let me scratch your back, so you can put in a good word for me".
Yeah, and what's wrong with that?
>Demonstrating tech skills is something you do at an interview or to an IT manager, not to a random HR lady.
But she's not a random HR lady. She's an HR madam in need of technical assistence. The manager doesn't need you for anything where you can show off your tech skills.
>And you generally don't do it by doing a personal favour
Well, no. But "generally" has nothing to do with "legally' or "morally."
>OP could have even asked the HR lady if she wanted to contract him for her website, offering to make the website for $300 (or whatever would be a fair price in the circumstances, probably less, but the point is not to have it be a personal kickback).
Well, yeah, but OP wanted a tech job more. What's he going to do with 300 dollars to get him closer to the job he wants?
>That would have demonstrated his tech skills just as much as doing it for free.
Well yes, but she'd be under no obligation to put a word in for him.
>Hence why offering it for free sounds like a personal favour.
But it wasn't for free. It was for her advertising him to her work friends.
>Let me do you a favour so you can put in a good word for me, pull some strings, shuffle some CVs around to make sure mine gets seen and others don't" - that's also a valid interpretation of OP's actions
Well, no. Her shuffling CVs around to rig employment is illegal and could jeperdize her job.
>and, considering he chose not to go to the IT manager (who can actually do an IT skills assessment) and instead went to the HR lady (who doesn't do tech interviews, but who CAN shuffle CVs around and pull some strings) it can easily seem like the likeliest explanation in the eyes of corporate.
He did go to IT, though. He applied for the job.
>Authority might be a strong word, but HR are often the ones to rubber-stamp hires, sometimes pre-screen CVs, and generally have a lot of influence on all the administrative processes

This is a fair point, but again this would be asking her to do something criminal, and OP has extremely plausable deniability, since he never asked her to improve his chances by committing crimes. That's like hiring a body guard to "protect you" and them murdering somebody they didn't have to at all and saying "but you told me to protect u!"

bump

>>41750897
Why did you bother to bump the thread when there are still consistent posts being put out? This post was six minutes apart from the post before it.

>>41750436
>its not bribing, its bartering
not according to US code, which is usually where employers source their wording for their employee handbook.
My company words it as "As a general rule, you may not give or accept gifts, services, discounts or favors" in the course of doing business and then lists boring exceptions for tshirts and mugs at conventions etc

>>41750919
Well that's just saying you can't generally barter at work for whatever beaurocratic reason. It's not saying it's bribery and that there's corruption if it happens.

>>41750974
I'm sorry you're autistic and I have to spell this out for you but its in the section called "Bribery and Corruption" in my employee handbook, retard.

>>41750978
It being in that section of the book doesn't automatically mean that's how it defines bribery and corruption. It just means that's topic it's covering.

If what you're telling me is worded like "generally you may not do x" it's probably referring to how bartering at work can look a lot like bribery and thus shouldn't be allowed or something. Notice how it says nothing about accepting such favors while not doing business? That's how I can tell you're bullshitting me and hiding or not reading information on the page. If what you said was truly how it was defining bribery it'd be saying you can't do it home, since bribery is a crime. It's unacceptable regardless if you're doing business.

Further, an employee handbook isn't the same thing as US code or law, though it is sourced from it. The wording will be fucky.

>>41751043
Nta, but I think you might actually be more autistic than OP

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>>41749115
Quality

>>41747789
I'd say best thing you can do now is say you wanted to design the website to show yourproficiency in IT. You'll probably still get fired for being a retard, but at least you won't have that target on your back.

>>41751425

What? Because I don't immediately take things out of context and pass it off as gosple?

Please, anon. It's 2024. You should have learned by now that that's not what Trump meant when he said it would be a bloodbath if he lost the election. They never meant the covid vaccine was actually safe. They were saying that it was safer than getting covid. 2 thirds of car crashes being caused by sober drivers doesn't automatically mean it's safer to drive drunk. Just because your doctor says you're a whiny bitch, doesn't mean your doctor has magical powers and actually knows you don't have medical issues if you're still suffering. And just because a lethal injection looks painless, doesn't mean it is and doesn't mean a firing squad wouldn't be leagues more humane.

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Best thread in a long time

>>41747597
>bro I litterly applied for over 2 thousand software developer jobs over the past few months
I'm sorry but you must be some kind of pajeet codemonkey with zero real experience.
Literally no one who actually knows how to code has this kind of problem.
All it takes to get hired is having a single relevant personal project on your github.

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>>41752319
Woaw, that's pretty Pinkie.

>>41747401
fpbp

>>41751043
I'd say you should try to bribe someone who pays your paycheck and let me know how that goes but bribing the social security office definitely IS illegal

>>41752315
anon...with all due respect....what the fuck are you talking about?

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>>41752573
She is a very pretty pony. It's her natural state of being

>>41752600
Stuff that's taken out of context? You were calling me autistic doubting an out of context quote an anon gave from their employees book?
>>41752579
>I'd say you should try to bribe someone who pays your paycheck and let me know how that goes but bribing the social security office definitely IS illegal
Why do you think I should I bribe anyone? That's illegal and risky and somebody is usually the victim. Bartering, on the other hand, involves no corruption and is just asking for a fair trade.

>>41752843
You went on for a fucking hour about Trump and covid and car crashes and lethal injections. Are you like, some kind of Answers in Genesis shill who has to get every single talking point out no matter what the discussion's actually about?

>>41752315
...I rescind my accusation of autism, and instead diagnose you with schizo. Get well soon

>>41752856
It was one sentence about Trump to show an example of how you can't just take what's said out of context. All of it was, to show how absurd this shit is, and how stupid it is to just believe what people say on face value without understanding anything surrounding what they're saying.

Would you rather had me just given you an example like some dumbass saying MLP is a communist propaganda show because of the equality song?

>>41753092
I’d prefer if you took your meds retard

>>41753092
Anon. Shut the fuck up for a second.
1) I'm not the guy who was calling you autistic. My first post to you was replying to your rant with >>41752600 .
2) The quotations and contextual stuff are irrelevant to me. I'm not arguing what I think corruption is, I think the line between boomers inviting each other to family cookouts to aid in their career networking and offering free services to boost one's chances at an IT job is blurry legally, but both should be acceptable tbdesu. I'm not interested in this argument you guys are having over legal code because I think the law is unfairly strict anyway.
3) If that's one sentence then you need to brush up on your punctuation and grammar. None of the shit about the wu-flu matters or bears any relevance to the subject at hand. It's just you flexing your sphincter-tourniquet's grip strength because billions must die. I mostly AGREE with you, but I wouldn't be caught dead signalboosting you about it in this thread because you sound like a CIA plant trying to rope chuds into a child porn trafficking scandal. If you were to use this communist example of yours, I'd still think you were reaching and being pointlessly obnoxious and obtuse.

With all that out of the way, I'm hoping you didn't read one word and immediately get to replying because this is all I'm saying on the matter. Take a fucking break. Sit back for a while and listen to some music. Do a jigsaw puzzle. Go for a walk. Take your trash out and make your bed. You're in dire need of self-care if you think that all the bile you spewed isn't fucking silly after doing all that.

>>41753046
How do you figure?

>>41753116
>Anon. Shut the fuck up for a second.
>1) I'm not the guy who was calling you autistic. My first post to you was replying to your rant w
That's why you need to say "nta."
>that's one sentence then you need to brush up on your punctuation and grammar.
I only had one sentence about Trump.
>None of the shit about the wu-flu matters or bears any relevance to the subject at hand.
It has relevence to the contextual stuff, obviously.
>wouldn't be caught dead signalboosting you about it in this thread because you sound like a CIA plant trying to rope chuds into a child porn trafficking scandal.
lmao.
>If you were to use this communist example of yours, I'd still think you were reaching and being pointlessly obnoxious and obtuse.
Well, think about it. The show about FRIENDSHIP has a song in it that supports COMMUNISM. Just like how the page about bribery and corruption has a sentence about bartering.
>You're in dire need of self-care if you think that all the bile you spewed isn't fucking silly after doing all that.
I already did all those things today except I played a game of chess instead of a jigsaw puzzle. I don't need more self care to think clearly. And while the drunk diver being statistically safer meme is silly, the other stuff isn't.

>>41753095
How do you figure I'm retarded, now?

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>come home from work and turn computer back on
>he actually replied point by point
>not even an hour afterward
hopeless

>>41747789
Hey OP are you still alive

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>>41747398
>>41747567
its actually corruption OP, depending your company's or country's rules and regulations, you can be reprimanded or terminated without benefits. the fact you wanted leverage for your promotion in exchange for a service, constitute as a form of corruption because you will gain unfair advantage in your promotion from your "networking." IMO the best thing, you can do is contact your government's labor and employment department for guidance and advisory

>>41747398
Damn, first your central nervous system, and now your employment? When does it end?!

>>41747809
Well... I know some guys in West Bengal who don't exactly love it when things are redeemed.

>>41754581
Nope, OP got his Christmas gift from the HR grinch.

>>41749115
I'm choosing to believe this is the actual, real version of the story

>>41748860
networking is making friends with them beforehand and chatting and shit. like i was friends with my HR person at work which kept me around way longer then i had any right to be(job burn out, state phone contract shit). anon problem is they are well meaning idiot who basicaly tried to bribe a lady in hr for a different contract. anon is a autistic moron but i feel bad for him.
>>41750436
yeah, it doesnt work that way at all.
>>41749115
lol
>>41749018
yeah what anon did was basicaly try to act smooth to an HR agent and made stupidly blunt offers. maybe if he was friends with her or some other shit, she might have tried to help him but lol

>>41755938
>yeah, it doesnt work that way at all.
Well, how do you fugure it's bribery? What's the illegal or immoral thing OP is trying to get the HR lady to do for his so called bribe?

>>41756155
He's asking for an advantage over the other applicants on exchange for his services.
That's bribery. That's corruption.

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>>41749115
Who says this board can't crank out certified classic greens anymore

>>41756641
>He's asking for an advantage over the other applicants on exchange for his services.
>That's bribery. That's corruption.
Anon, unclench your sphincter and think about this for two seconds.
The whole point of an application is to have advantages over other applicants. If I did a year of volunteer services for a homeless shelter so I'd get an advantage over other applicants, that wouldn't be corruption and bribery, would it?

Obviously, OP asking for an advantage in getting a job isn't bribery, since that could simply be the HR lady putting a word in to IT about him doing such good work making a website for her ecommerce business.

>>41747398
>a factory worker investigated for corruption despite gaining nothing
>politicians getting away with stealing millions and everybody knowing it
I hate this world

>>41757204
>politicians getting away with stealing millions and everybody knowing it
I think it speaks volumes that when one of them kills a CEO that a majority of 4chan takes the side of the CEO.

>>41757226
I still don't understand the outcry against bigman weegee, man's a damn hero no matter what wing you belong to. The killings will continue until the populism improves!

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>>41747567
Sounds like textbook corruption. You can't go around trying to make "deals" with people who are not your close friends you know they will agree with, specially if there are karens, lawyers or hr involved, and if so called deal is an exchange of favors that go out from the company protocol boundaries.

I'm sorry for you, but hope you the best, retard.

>>41755346
hue

>>41757381
Not OP, but sure you can make deals. Bartering is legal. The only reason OP was investigated was that he didn't specify he didn't want the HR lady to do anything illegal or immoral to help increase his chances, like rig the job application for other applicants, because then that's bribery.

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>>41749115
>>41749115
>I heard you're having an online business, ma'am. If you are so kind as to offer me this position I'll happily make an online website just for you
>wink.png
Lest my afternoon be free, you're just trying to show your skills. I'll be kind.
>no

>Places 300 bits on the table
>wink.png
Deep breaths. So help me Celestia, for I want to be rid of this
>no

>Sneezes, accidentally showing web design portfolio out of her hat
>wink.png
Sigh. Damned be me to Tartarus.
>no

>Fucking karen
Oh divine element of patience, hope be on the tree of harmony. Have mercy on me, grant that to me

>>41757043
>>41757965
Again nta, but so many anons have tried to explain this and get it through to you dude. He is offering a PERSONAL FAVOR, in exchange for advantage over other applicants. I have no idea where you got this "bartering" idea, that's not even terminology thats used here. This is corruption for the exact same reason that It would be if I offered my boss a blowjob in exchange for a promotion, or offered to wash his car on the weekends, or 500$, or a fucking chicken and two bushels of wheat. The issue isn't that he's gaining an advantage over other applicants, it's that he's gaining an UNFAIR advantage based on something entirely irrelevant to the position.

Even if you still aren't getting the logic, and everyone else ITT thinking it's corruption isn't enough for you to consider that you might be wrong here, you should at least be able to recognize that OP doing this "bartering" thing seems to have *immediately* gotten him placed under investigation for corruption, right?

>>41757965
Cutting meat with a shattered and rusty broken gear is legal
oh but if that meat is another person suddenly it's SUCH a big deal.

Pushing with my foot is legal
but if that foot presses down a gas pedal and causes a car to careen through the front doors of a school at 3pm, suddenly it's news.

Barting is legal
barting for a job, even, is legal.
Bartering for someone else to NOT do their job while continuing to have that job, on the other hand, makes you a threat to the whole system and basically a member of an attempted conspiracy.

A cop who arrests suspected criminals is not corrupt.
A cop who arrests people who piss him off is corrupt.
A cop who arrests whoever someone powerful tells him to arrest is corrupt and systemically corrupt. He is not preforming the function of an officer, while continuing to hold the position of an officer.

In other words, the concept of "fair" or "advantage" isn't actually the key issue.
>Corrupt:
>having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.
If an employee acting on behalf of a company should make decisions which benefit them personally using the resources entrusted to them by the company for the benefit of the company, that would involve dishonesty, in that they betrayed that trust, which is an expectation of behavior that they have accepted the burden of. If you simply take money out of the company safe using a key you've been given physical access to but not premission to use freely, that's both thievery and corruption. If you hire people with no regard for the good of the company, that's corruption.

If you pay someone to be corrupt, that's corruption.

It's like saying a judge can't be corrupt because judges "make rulings".

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Twilight and I are praying for you, Anon. Please let us know what happens to you.

Something that other anons never touched on is that you see through the veil of bullshit. A few do mention that exchanged favors do happen, but they don't mention the "bullshit" part.
Yes, the favors thing is exactly what it is. It's corruption, but it's only the thin veneer of societal expectations that keeps it from being outright corruption and called out for what it is. Some anons had good advise like properly charging for it next time to show it off while not making it a trade of sorts and another saying never to bother with
>femoid HR (worst combo)
Cynical as it is, yes. It's all bullshit, and autists and kids alike can call it like it is. But it doesn't change the fact that you fucked up due to the social contract. I'd go with the other anon mentioning getting an autistic diagnosis ASAP. Really is the only way at this point for the lowest amount of backlash.

>>41757043
It is an UNFAIR advantage. He's going out of his way to offer a personal favor that doesn't benefit the company itself, only an individual for it. You are hired to work for the company. Your purpose is to make the business money. Helping a sole individual in the business by offering a good or a service is aiding them monetarily. This is illegal in the western world, Peng.

>>41758678
You’re arguing with an autistic on disability, 100%.