>portal to Equestria opens>it's in North Korea >they don't let anyone see it>it mysteriously closes one day and nobody knows how to recreate ithow mad would you be
>he isn't on good terms with the DPRKYour loss bud! I'm going to do my best to explain juche thought to ponies and help develop peaceful trade between our worlds.
>Implying North Korea controls the portalWhen Twilight's map leads her to the portal, and she finds a compulsive liar ruling over a starving subjects forced to believe everything he says, she's going to do something.
>>41815004You mean when she sees a poor nation besieged on all sides, she's going to do something. Though hopefully she's not silly enough to try and declare war on the whole world or anything like that, I'd really rather not go through that.
>>41815004And then she finds that the humanity is controlled entirely by compulsive liars forcing everyone believe anything they say...????New Equestria!
>>41815009We need a princess applejack to lead us.
>>41814965>North KoreaEverytime a "portal happens" it's always somewhere inaccessible like in NK or China or the middle of nowhere. If it did open, it'll likely be at Hasbro headquarters
>>41815045>portal to Equestria opens>but it's in Africa>the ponies are able to fend off of the niggersDoubt you'll still want to travel there though.
>>41815045>A portal opens within the corporate HQ of Hasbro>Princess Twilight Sparkle, Official First Contact Specialist and ambassador for all Equestrians, steps out>She then spends the next 72 hours explaining every single detail their show got wrong about her world>She won't meet with any world leaders until they correct all of it
>>41815054>he wouldn't travel to the middle of the congo in order to meet poniesCoward. What, risking being held ransom or beheaded is too much for you?
>>41815059Not necessary "in the middle of the Congo" because it's a jungle, but even the middle of let's say Lilongwe, Malawi will do. At least the former has less niggers due to the forest.
>>41815063If it's not even an active warzone and you're too scared to go there to meet ponies, you're a coward.
>>41814965>North Koreans go to Equestria>They eat the earth ponies >Use unicorn horns as ingredients in aphrodisiacs >Use pegasus as military target practice >You finally go to Equestria and there's only Strawberry Sunrise and Fluttershy>The North Koreans thought they were Chinese and let them live
>>41814965>portal to Equestria opens>it's in Equestria suburb of Pretoria, Africa
>>41815764but Fluttershy is not Chinese
>>41814965Ponies will make Juche necromancy literally real
>>41815004>source: exclusively defectors and South Korean spies
>>41815055>it's all very minor neatpicks and the other elements don't care
>>41816797Of course it's all minor nitpicks but she won't settle for anything less.
>>41816724Okay, counterpoint, if Twilight sees the glorious utopia of north Korea, and that all the other people of earth live under capitalist pigs, she's going to do something.
>>41816858based I hope she trades the magic of friendship for the magic of nuclear fission and drops the world's biggest lesson on the demon cultists in Seoul
>>41816858>the world goes to war against magic poniesI'd be defecting day one, fuck this shit.
>>41816863>Woah! Twilight Sparkle needs me? Okay, I'll do it. I'm going to bat for you, Twiggles! I got your back, Twily!"
>>41816870I'm a proud member of the 1st Equestrian Auxiliary Militia Division. I don't love the fact that they make us wear metal armor and carry spears but the magic of friendship is worth it!>they send us to the frontlines first>we all die horrible deathsah dang it
>>41816863>>41816870>ywn be Twilight Sparkle's top guyWhy even live
https://newsfeed.time.com/2012/11/30/unicorns-existence-proven-says-north-korea/>>41816924The top guy is going to be Kim. Sorry.
>>41816917speak for yourself, Supreme Leader Sparkle let me bring my own weapon so long as I promised to surrender it to the DPPRK (Democratic People and Pony's Republic of Korea) after the friendship problem was resolved
>>41815055>She summons Chris Chan to help explain to Hasbro executives why their malicious mischroniclings need to be corrected
>>41816949>The top guy is going to be KimThe portal's going to open in Pongchon and Twilight will immediately become close friends with a few local women working in various industries. It'd be just silly otherwise.
>>41815764>>You finally go to Equestria and there's only Strawberry Sunrise and FluttershyI'm ok with this
>>41816917>be me>Corporal Anon>Platoon NCO of Apple Platoon of the 137th Combined Regiment>On the front lines of the Great Patriotic Struggle for Friendship and Magic>all in all, its not too bad for a war>Your platoonicorn is a pretty good shieldsmare and she keeps things mostly safe>The rest of your platoon consists of 4 human riflemen and 3 support pegasi, and you get regular shipments from an earth pony you've started affectionately referring to as Reckless >Not to her face though, she's a staff sergeant and she'd drill you into the ground>No meat is starting to get to you a little bit but the ponies are starting to learn your dietary needs and you got in after the protein crisis of 2026 >A flight of pegasi heavy fighters zoom over you, rainbooms cracking as they head off to intercept F35s of the South Korean Air Force>No idea how they take them out, nor do you particularly want to >Reckless approaches your encampment with an ungodly amount of ammunition, rations, and other sundries, and you and the men move to unload her>"How's it going Corporal Anon?" She asks, stretching her back as you unload the sorely needed supplies>"y..you too" >She rolls her eyes as she turns away, heading on to the next encampment, her load lightened>just another day on the warfront
>>41817000>it's the end of a long day>you had to push through a river valley and take the ridgeline on the other side>NATO forces made it about as brutal as they can>the unicorns kept artillery off your heads and the pegasi have kept the skies clear but at the end of the day it comes down to moving from cover to cover, laying down a base of fire, trying to make sure the earth ponies can come through without issue and set up the new FOB>today was a good day, everyone's still in one piece>you get your rations and trade the hayburger to a pony in exchange for their bread>the pegasi scouts are all bunched up together, helping preen eachothers' wings>"H-hey, can I... help?">they all look at you for a few seconds with a slight hint of disgust>you go sit with the rest of the humans and eat your bread in peace>maybe next month
>>41817022>can't fraternize with the unicorns because they're all officers>can't fraternize with the pegasi because they're all in the rear at airbases>can't fraternize with earthmares because you spill spaghetti every time you try
>>41817405Some of the earth pony stallions are chill about humans helping set up the next outpost, just don't be a faggot about it or else you're getting a talking to.
>>41817415>get to help set up the next FOB>qt mare is your battle buddy>you help her tie down tent stakes and she hammers them in with one swift stomp of her hoof>try not to think about how you wish that were you under her hoof>really try not to think about it>sweat
>>41814965That would explain Kim Jong-Un’s unicorn lair: he is keeping Equestrian citizens hostage.
>>41817419>it's weapon inspection day>you walk into the tent and field strip your rifle, setting the individual parts down on the table>the earth pony mare examines the parts with surprising ease considering ponies still aren't used to firearms>"You've been taking good care of her! Most humans come in here having treated their poor weapons terribly.">she sounds just a little upset about that fact, then it's gone and she's smiling again>"Make sure to take as good care of her as you'd take care of me, okay soldier?">you nod quickly and reassemble your rifle>she giggles just a bit at your expression and waves goodbye to you>a month passes>it's weapon inspection day>you're so excited you practically run over to the table, stripping the rifle in record time>you look up at the mare>it's a unicorn mare>she's not amused in the slightest>her horn glows orange and your rifle gets reassembled, then she casts a mending spell on it>her telekinesis shoves the rifle back into your hands, then you out of the tent>you trudge back to your platoon and spend the rest of the evening in a malaise>you just wanted the cute mare to say you did a good job again>fuck
>>41817441>spend the next month convincing yourself the cute earthmare sergeant at arms got killed in actionwhy did you do this to me anon
>>41817452>a few months pass>you're taking a short break from the front lines, being allowed to get a little R&R>you see engineer ponies saluting their superior officer>that cutie mark's recognizable from a mile away>or at least 80 meters, anyways>you wanna go up and say hi but she's clearly busy>after a while staring, she looks in your direction>there doesn't seem to be any recognition, you don't see her ears perk up or any other reaction to your presence>but that's okay, you just smile a little and go back to your tent>definitely snuggling the rucksack tonight though
>>41817475aint war hell
>>41817475>In exit processing>the war is almost over, or at least this stage of it>wounds both physical and mental may never heal>hand in your weapon to the sergeant at arms without a word>"still taking good care of her, I see">a single wag of her tail and a smile, and a scrawled note with an address and a date
>>41817520>and a scrawled note with an address and a date>you don't read equestrian>fuck
>>41817525you bet your ass I'd learn so fast it'd make Twilight Sparkle take notice
>>41817525that note could say "meet me behind the chow hall in five minutes" and I'd have it translated in time, I stormed Incheon for this I'm not letting some bad earthmare handwriting stop me nowbut actually>hey bro remember that SAA I told you about? She handed me this what's it say>my battle bro tells me, hoof bumps, and says "go get her, monkey"
>>41817555Now that's the strat.
>>41814965>He would not risk getting killed by Kim Jong Un to see pony.
>>41817905all you have to do is follow the rules its not hard
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