>>41839561
She doesn't even live in Equestria though.

Stealth tamers thread

>>41839561
Imagine being one of the last of the most mythical race in equestria and your whole purpose is basically just to push out some GI grunt's kid.

>character gets added by mandate
>barely gets used
Many such cases.

>>41839577
>sole point of characterization is that they're both fantastically in love
>only end up having the one kid
???

>>41839657
>Twilight hasn't visited her brother in a while
>goes over to visit
>they have ten foals
>"How does this even make sense? The gestation periods alone-"
>"It's magic, Twily. I don't get it either."
Would've been a banger episode.

>>41839669
Time travel plus alicorns are built for breeding

>>41839561
She’s very important because she travels from town to town performing a very crucial duty without which Equestria would be fucked (in a manner of speaking). The true power of her magic is to create small pocket dimensions where ponies of her choosing get it on while not affecting the canon. This all happens offscreen and the ponies involved only remember it in dream form. Put simply, she is the ultimate crack shipper. If she sees two ponies standing near each other, she assumes they want to fuck. Straight, lesbian, foalcon, intercreature; it doesn’t matter. If it tickles her fancy at the time, she will force her candidates into the r34 pocket universe.
You may be wondering “gee Anon, you said this was an important function but this just sounds like shipfaggotry” but you would be mistaken in one aspect, shipfaggotry is the foundation of all fandom and none more so than the pony one!
So as you can tell, Cadance is actually not only the most important Princess but without her to allow all ponies to fuck endlessly and go about their daily lives Equestria would disintegrate into nothing.

>>41839669
>celestia's real plan to make alicorns the dominant species began not with twilight but with making sure twilight's brother fucks her niece

>>41839571
Is Tamers on your mind 24/7?

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>>41839729
>"Pocket Fuck Universe Ship Mare Cadance"
If you took this idea over to Japan and you pitched it to some studio like Toei I'll bet they would green light this immediately. yeaah, I know, she'd probably be underage..

Because no shit they cant explain her position is to keep ponies the dominant species on the planet by overclocking their collective sex drives. DUH.

>>41839729
no thanks, i hate shipfaggotry.

>>41839561
She's a toy. That's her purpose.
She wasn't even supposed to be an alicorn originally, so she wasn't supposed to do anything.

>>41839561
Somewhere hidden in her castle is a love map that locates love problems across equestria for her to solve.

Celestia and Luna actually also had a sun and moon map that showed where the sun and moon are at any given time in the castle of two sisters. Celestia did not think it necessary to relocate it.

>>41839561
for me to impose my interdimensional(?) human pony relations mediator headcanon onto her. She works with luna to implant dreams about your waifu directly into your head.

>>41841014
But I don't get dreams about my waifu.

>>41841058
Cadence is very busy.

>>41841064
That's fair. I also don't have a waifu so that may be playing a role.

>>41841014
Seems legit I had a dream just last night. It was luna wanting me to suck her clit while the hugged my face with her legs.

>>41841100
>luna taking advantage of creatures from other universes in order to get off
solid strat

>>41840926
Cadance should be the one fixing everything in the marital problems thread.

>>41841254
>"Woah, looks like my sweet Twilight just cheated on Machavelianon! I better pack my things and go help fix this! I know he's prone to taking things a little too far, after all!"

>>41841254
With sex

>>41839571
Kek I'm going to say this in the threads I don't like.

>>41841299
>Be Cadence.
>The first step to solving any love problem is to talk to both the partners!
>As busy as Machavelianon is, and knowing he'd want to keep this a secret, it'd be best to follow him and approach when he's alone.
>Even just an unnounced visit from a princess would get him complaining about "appearances", especially since you're the princess of marital counseling. You know what kind of gossip you cause.
>It's silly, but you know he'd want to resolve this without anyone knowing you're even in ponyville. With an invisibility spell, you think you can do that!
>He's staying the night in the orphanage, so that's the perfect chance to ask him how he feels.
>You slip right past one of his griffons, no need to break discretion, you're only here to see Anon and Twilight.
>Why would he have a room like this in an orphanage though? It looks like a sex dungeon.
>...Is that Flash Sentry?!
>What is Anon doing?
>Oh god, he's cheating with Flash too!
>He must have been too nervous to tell Twilight he wants to try BDSM.
>Well, I'll leave them to it, it'd be awkward to interrupt. I'll just wait outside and follow Anon when he returns to his room to give him the talk about being open with your partner.
>Wait, he shouldn't be using something like that for this, it's too sharp, he could seriously hurt flash!
>Trotting in place, this is going to be super awkward, but you can't let him make such novice mistakes when exploring his sadism!
>Deep breath, drop the spell.
>"Stop!"
>...
>Why are they looking at me like I just teleported onto a crime scene?

>>41842170
I cackled, thank you for your fine work.

>>41839561
She gave birth to a baby that nearly caused the collapse of the crystal empire.

>>41839561
>So uh, how has her powers of love actually contributed to equestria in the long run?
Turning on the heart thing that keeps her kingdom from being wiped out by a hellish storm if it goes out. Without her everyone in the Empire fucking dies in a blizzard that kicked Celestia and Luna's ass.

She didn't help Equestria, she helped the place she lives and rules not get wiped out.

>>41839657
>???
Did you see that fucking wingspan

Ever egg in her womb got featherpunched into oblivion and she tore that exit on her way out.

>>41839577
Call me retarded, but it sounds good. Women lead good lives.

>>41840815
>spoiler
And how is that a bad thing?

This thread uses Cadence and Cadance. Which one is it?

>>41839561
Her sex appeal has kept me watching the show so I'd say her contribution is keeping my dick hard

>>41839561
God I hate her so much

>>41839561
she made a brother and sister fall in love over a minor disagreement

also shining armor was banging the babysitter

>>41843252
Mi Amore Cadenza.

>>41843420
I mean he was the same age and not the father so it's not really that bad

>>41843252
yes

>>41843367
Her voice is soothing and her singing voice is hot

>>41841064 >>41841304

>>41840926
>map that showed where the sun and moon are at any given time

That's fucking useless.

I like the idea of her being comparable to Celestia and Luna in being a kind of fulcrum of action for love. Celestia raises the sun, but it shines on its own. Cadance raises the possibility of love, but only the truth in ponies' hearts can make it shine.

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>>41839561
Her job is to punch everyone's V-card when they come of age.

>>41845404
>slut cadance
Disgusting. Her job is to completely Asanagi-style mindbreak Shining Armor with her magical pussy.

>>41845478
No Anon, she literally punches you so hard you lose your virginity if you don't fuck before a certain age.

>>41842459
>he thinks the alicorn of love isn't infinitely eggful
Oh ye of little faith.

>>41845487
>colts and fillies have to pair off by a certain age or get smote by a goddess
Okay Anon, I'm seeing it, I'm with you again

>>41845498
>They only had one kid because if they start again they'll never stop

>>41845779
My headcanon is that alicorns privately agree not to have foals as a general rule because they're immortal and the (extremely) long-run conclusion of that behavior is a reproductive arms race to convert as much of society / the matter in the universe into your offspring, and every new alicorn is a potential loose end who could refuse the agreement and breedmaxx. Everypony knew the princess of love herself wasn't going to abide by the rule so they cautiously told her that one was okay but that's it.

>>41846043
If the alicorn gene is dominant by the very virtue of being immortal they'll end up as the master species.

This is why we don't cum in alicorns.

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>>41846382
I have bad news.

>>41846390
Don't do it anon.
The world isn't ready for mass immortality

>>41846390
In the next episode of MLP: What if?
Rainbow Dash gets a horn

>>41846043
I personally believe only Celestia and Luna are immortal. I believe Twilight, Cadence and Flurry will die but have a longer than normal lifespan.

>>41846837
Why would Flurry be mortal if she's the only naturally born alicorn?

>>41846837
>>41846844
Better question is why Celestia and Luna are immortal.

>>41846852
Cause nobody came in them.
You see why you don't cum in alicorns???

>>41846910
>Cumming inside Alicorns removes their immortality
W-who came inside Baby Flurry Heart?

>>41846919
:)

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>>41846927
>Glimmer got cucked by a literal infant

>>41846939
One's less annoying, you can't blame him.

>>41846919
She's still immortal.

>>41846919
this ended up being weirdly topical
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/389007/as-long-as-you-both-shall-live

>>41847266
That did not go the way I expected it to

>>41846910
So if it's only given away once Cadence is still a threat, because each one she produces is immortal.

>>41839561
Cadence and Cadance are alternate spellings of the same word, so you can use either one. Hasbro has alternated between both at times, so not even they give a shit. That said, her proper name is Cadenza, so spelling it with an E just makes more sense to me.
>how has her powers of love actually contributed to equestria in the long run?
She exists purely for me to blow fat loads to, I don't care if she's married, I've blown loads to Shining too.

>>41843252
Candance

>>41845487
A lot of Anons need a good hoof to the jaw and not just for the virginity-losing aspect of it.

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>>41847553
candyass

>>41847760
That stallion saw a future where his pelvis was just gone and not only accepted it, but ran towards it.

>>41844709
Her Design alone does it for me.
But the voice helps a lot, too.

>>41846837
I don't think this is right.
Love?
Friendship?
Being an utterly insatiable little cum vacuum?
These things, like the sun and moon, must live on forever in Equestria, so their princesses must live forever as well.

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>>41847760
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JUcwq7XSBA

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>>41847784
You're a flamboyantly flaming homosexual if you wouldn't

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>>41848723
Cadence, those windows are open. What the fuck are you doing.

>>41848899
Shield spell

>>41839561
Increase pony birth rate. Outbreed the creatures.

>>41849045
Ponies are already the dominant species. What other race can produce immortals via birth?

>>41847462
So in terms of logistics cumming inside an alicorn robs her of her immortality. They're still extremely long lived and fertile that entire time, but you need to impregnate an alicorn at least twice in order to make up for the deficit.

God forbid they're half bat pony though.

>>41849352
phoenixes

>>41849790
You can just eat one of those.

>>41850082
Makes you immortal, right? Or makes you itchy?

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>>41849352
I mean we've never been told that Alicorns are immortal. We just know that they live for a long time (1000+ years) and even that is based on an unreliable narration.

Maybe Chrysalis counts? She's pretty much Alicorn tier, but from a different race. Though I don't think she tolerates competition, so even if they started making more royals to keep up with Alicornication, they'd just end up fighting eachother over dominance instead.

>>41851443
Something like this.
>>>/wsg/5789021
It's not a very pleasant experience.