>What is Flutterrape?Flutterrape is a collection of stories about ponies trying and failing to have sex with Anon, the only human in Equestria. While the title implies that it is Fluttershy trying to rape Anon, others may follow in her stead and attempt their own versions of rape. There are different versions of Flutterrape, but most are light-hearted comedies about the ponies failing in their attempts to get into Anon’s pants. Just because your story has Anon in it, doesn't mean it fits in this thread. Check other threads (AiE, RGRE etc) about story content before posting.>It's been 12 years, how is this thread still alive?A perverse mixture of necromancy and spite.>How do I start writing?Use your imagination, you nitwit. Additionally, brush up on your grammar and abandon your standards.Writing Guides:Clever Dick's Tips For Short Stories -- https://ponepaste.org/1274Driverbang's Writing Guide -- https://ponepaste.org/1275Navarone's Writing Rules -- https://ponepaste.org/1276For additional information, lurk or ask. You could also check out the T:EM/P/O or /bale/ threads for further writing advice, unless they're dead.So many threads have died, but only Flutterrape has remained. We shall always remain. We are bound to the fate of the board as a lich is bound to its phylactery. Welcome, anonymous.////Masterlist: https://ponepaste.org/user/FlutterrapeGeneralAuthor List: https://ponepaste.org/1270FIMfiction Group: http://www.fimfiction.net/group/211640/flutterrapeRequest Bin: https://ponepaste.org/1268Thread Archive: https://desuarchive.org/mlp/search/text/Flutterrape/previous thread: >>42747404
>>42804668New thread. :D
Fresh rape incoming!
>>42804717D:Uh oh.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>42804717
>>42804717Someone blast that thing so we can live in peace.
>Fireworks up your ass.
>>42804815Is that perhaps, her kink?
>>42804823Its how Trixie will rape you, fool.
>>42804862>Anti Rape Plan: Trixie.>Trixie is a gloater. Very egotistical.>Compliments won’t distract her well.>Make her talk about herself.>Unicorn who is not that well versed in combative magic.>Thus, jerk thy horn till she passes the fuck out.
Yeeeah, work that grill baby.
>>42805041I haven’t had a dream I was actually interested in for a while. So even if Anon liked Luna, I would doubt he dream of her.
>>42805117Yeah the last time I had a dream it was just that my room had no curtains and something was watching me from outside the window
>>42805192Last dream I had was about me owning a very clingy bird… I had that dream after reading some fanfic with very in depth preening so perhaps those are related.
>>42804862Just throw an empty jar of peanut butter on the ground. She's homeless. She can't help herself.
>"Humans an apex predator?">"Ponies prey animals?">"Oh no, I'm so terrified Mr Anonymous!">"I'm shivering in my shoes right now! Please don't throw your spear at me and slow roast me over a fire!">"...">"PFT!- HUH!">"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!">"As if.">*She starts to drool*>"Now take off your pants. I want to see THAT spear.">"I'm going to taste your monkey meat."
>>42805553>You look on unamused as another conversation was turned into lustful mutterings.>You were just telling Celestia about pre-history and you mentioned how the equines of your world are prey animals.>Is she drooling?>And stepping closer.>Yeah, time to stop this before it gets more rapey.>You reach into your pocket and put your hand past the slice of cheese you have.>This is a big pony so cheese won’t properly subdue her.>You reach to the bottom of the pocket, hitting something course and rough. And it gets everywhere.>Perfect.>Ponies eyes are big, and cell towers is exceptionally big.>You grab your trusty pocket sand, take a defensive step back, and launch it.“Pocket sand!”>Pocket sand effective immediately:>”OHH!!! BUCK BUCK BUCK!!!”>The glorious giraffe horse crumpled to the ground. >I think you landed every piece of sand into her eyes.“Fuck yeah.”>You do a little boogie and shuffle over the writhing rapist.“Uh huh! Oh yeah!”>”UGHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!!!”>Okay, time to hightail it. You lightly jog out of the dining hall and wave at a guard as you leave the general area of the castle.>Going towards the exit.
I'm new to MLP and I just watched the last episode of S1. I understand these threads now. I am filled with hope that Flutters would be fascinated with a human like me, a unique specimen in all of Equestria, and attempt to capture me in some way, and after walking into her trap I'd pretend to be scared and distant, drawing escalating efforts from her to make me love her. Until, finally, as her ultimate desperate attempt to earn my trust she abuses me sexually, unaware that this was my goal all along. Is this what these threads are about?I'm just kidding btw I could never trick Flutters. I'd just tell her to rape me right away.
>>42805601>Guard 1 watches as the apealien runs away.>"Why does he keep coming back?">Guard 2 huffs.>"He's a male, they always do stupid things.">"Hey!">"You do stupid things.">Guard male grumbles at the cruel fellow guard.>"Well if you're so smart why don't you go rape Anon?">"And get shit thrown in my face, no thank you. The princesses are masochist, but I like my stallions as easy as my drinks.">Guard 1 snickers.>"I guess we both don't get payed to do any challenging work.">"Why don't you go rape Anon hotshot!?">Guard 1 deadpans at guard 2.>"I'm not gay.">"Could've fooled me with that dick. It looks gay.">Guard 1 sputters.>"How does a dick look gay!? That's like if I said your horsgina looks lesbian coded.">Guard 2 rolls her eyes.>"So stupid. Mares are flexible, we can do anything. Mares, stallions, humans. Don't matter.">Celestia stands behind them with twitching red eyes.>"So neither of you tried to stop Anon.">The guards look up at her.>"Well apparently my dick is gay so I'm a liability.">"I'm on break.">Throwing her long neck back, Celestia groans to the sky.
>>42805641Uh, Maybe? But then that isnt rape, it’s just roleplay.
>>42805656she doesn't need to know
>>42805651I love this. Great work.
>>42805657I mean… technically doing something sexually without your partner knowing can be considered rape… so maybe it’s reverse flutterrape?
>>42805651But if the guards hold you down while Princess Celestia rapes you, then that's aggravated rape.
>>42805659Oh God... You're right... I am a monster
>>42805682They don’t want sand in their eyes, nor cheese in their face.
>>42805641>I'm just kidding btw I could never trick Flutters. I'd just tell her to rape me right away.Total mood killer
>Fluttershy's yellow face comes into view looming over me>"Now, now, don't be afraid, I won't hurt you. My name is Fluttershy.">"Pleased to meet you, Flutters">"You can talk!">"You were following me, so I played along.">"Oh. Yes, I was. I am so sorry about that.">"It's okay.">"I've never seen something... someone like you before. And you looked so nervous and beat down. I wanted to rescue you.">"That's very sweet of you. Could you untie me please?">"You won't run, right?">"Promise."
>>42805651>you MUST follow instructions
>>42805789No.
>>42805789Nice try
>>42805789I see, Celestia. You want me to boop your nose to your sister, Luna's, nose with yours so Cadance will be born thus closing the time loop.
>>42805720You can’t rape the willing. Kinda takes the fun out of it.
>>42805192That thing was Luna
>>42805720>please DON'T rape me, Fluttershy, that would bind me to you for LIFE! If you did something as simple as forcing yourself upon me just once, my fragile human heart would be overwhelmed, and I'd love you forever after that! Forever! I'd ask you to marry me! It's not like I wouldn't be totally into it, but you surely wouldn't want a loyal, nature-loving human husband keeping you company in this cozy little cottage, giving you ear scritches in the morning, taking care of you every day and helping you with forest wildlife for several decades, RIGHT?!
>>42806455>Fluttershy breaks down after writing these words down in a little pink notebook. >Pretending it was anon saying them.>Saying something she will never hear come from his mouth.
>>42806455>Uhm... Anon, I think I would love that, so all I'd have to do is...>Rape me, yes!>Oh, my... I guess I... Uhm, I know it's a little selfish but I think I'll do it, if you're okay with that of course.>YES! Yes, I'm okay with it. Humans LOVE it when this kind of thing happens to them.>My... That's so strange, but if you say so, I guess I'll... force... myself... upon you...>Oh no! Don't ride this boner of mine, Fluttershy! I am fully erect with fear!>Oh... I... I, uhm, I don't care that you don't want it, I'll, uhm, I'll take what I want from you. You will, uhm, submit to me!>Oh Fluttershy, you're really going to do it!>Yes, YES!>YES! Isn't it thrilling?>Yes, it is! I mean, I'm a bit nervous but->Don't be nervous, you're the one who's doing the raping! I'm the one who should be nervous.>Okay. But please be gentle, Anon!>Don' t worry Flutters, I'll receive this sexual assault as gently as possible.>Thank you, Anon. So I'll uhm... I'll begin! Are you ready?>Just rape me already, please.
>>42806455
I have to share with the flutterrape thread, care of a drawfren from the drawt hread. >>42806360
>>42806502Thank you, anonymous. Noted.
>>42806480
>>42806480>Wee! Hello Fluttershy!>Pinkie Pie?!>PINKIE PIE?! What are you->What are *you* doing, Fluttershy?! Why are you on top of the human friend?!>Ah, I- W-we were just, uhm...>Cuddling, yeah. We were cuddling.>That doesn't look so cuddly wuddly to me! Were you RAPING him, Fluttershy?>Uh- I... I->How could do something like this, Fluttershy?! That's not nice and fun at all!>I object to that->I'm... I'm sorry, I... I got carried away... I never thought I'd...>It's okay Fluttershy, Pinkie PIe doesn't->No that's NOT okay! Did you know that if you rape a human, he'll be loyal to you forever?! Do you really want to have a human husband who'll party with you every day, and dance with you, and have lots of fun with you every single day, for the rest of your life?!>Wait a minute...>Uh, Flutters, I swear I didn't->I think I understand... You're trying to trick me... Is that so, Pinkie Pie? Trick me so *you* can rape him and make him your husband?!>Haha, no way! Though I'd love to give him all my->APPLE PIE!>Applejack?!>I brought y'all some freshly baked apple pi- WHOA wait a sec, what's going on in here?!>We were cudd->Fluttershy was raping the human, but I saved him!>Aw, that's some dang horrible thing to do, Fluttershy.>I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry..>You better be, sugar cube. Don't you know that if you r->We all know, Applejack.>Yes we got the memo already.>All right then. Let's go, Pinkie Pie. And Fluttershy, I got my eyes on you.>O-Okay...>They're gone.>Yeah...>Are you still going to rape me?>I think... I think I'm too nervous for that now...>Yeha that sorta killed the mood, didn't it.>Hey, hello there!>Oh... hi, Twilight...>Knock! Please knock!>Duh? The door was open!>Close it and knock!>Wait a minute, what are you two doing?!>Hey Twilight! I've been looking for- WHOA! It sure looks like Fluttershy was raping that guy!>Raping?!>We were just cuddling.>I am so.. So sorry...>Twilight, did you know that if you rape a human, you gain magical powers?>Is that true, Fluttershy?! I didn't think you'd do such a terrible act for the sake of power....>No, I... I didn't...>Please leave her alone, she was doing nothing wrong.>Hmm... He's clearly under a spell, so he'd be willing to get raped!>Fluttershy... Did you give him a potion?>No... I... I didn't do anything like that...>Wow she was raping him raw... That's the WORST kind of rape.>Spike, aren't you a little too young to know so much about this stuff?>Hey I read that in YOUR books!>Oh. I... Haha... I guess we'll just leave. Have fun you two! Without the rape, of course, haha.
>>42806616>Okay Flutters. I guess we'll just post-pone the rape. To whenever you're ready.>Thank you so much for understanding...>It's okay. You matter to me, Flutters.>Y-You too..>Maybe we don't need to make this a rape, Fluttershy...>I... I was thinking the same thing...>Fluttershy... You are so beautiful...>I-I feel so strange, and warm inside...>Why hello there.>PRINCESS CELESTIA?!>I just got a letter from Twilight Sparkle saying that a human is here and- Oh.>Not this AGAIN!>I-I am so sorry... I am so ashamed... Please don't banish me, Princess Celestia...>Oh, Fluttershy, why would I do such a thing? In fact, I came here exactly for this.>...What?>Listen Fluttershy, I heard that humans...>There's ANOTHER version of this story?>...Are absolutely insatiable, and their sexual prowess is unmatched in all of creation. And now, I finally found one...>Is that true?!>Let's rape the human, Fluttershy. Together.>P-Princess Celestia?!>Right here and now, Fluttershy.>I-I... I don't know...>That's enough! This time I'm the one who's gonna make it stop! I'm NOT going to get raped today!>Fufufu... How lovely. It's not rape without struggling, after all.>You can't rape me without my consent!>Now watch and learn, Fluttershy.>NOOOOO!!!>Princess Celestia?! What's going on here?!>Rainbow Dash! Thank goodness!>L-Looks like I'll be off to my royal duties! Until next time, human...>Thanks for showing up, Dash. That was gonna be a sticky situation. I owe you one.>How about you owe me a sticky situation, eh stud?>For fuck's sake!>ENOUGH! JUST LEAVE US ALONE! ONLY I CAN RAPE THIS HUMAN!>That's my Fluttershy. You heard her.>Yeah whatever. See ya.>AND NOW WE LOCK ALL THE DOORS AND WINDOWS AND WE FUCK, OKAY?>Okay, Flut->RIGHT NOW
>"I'm so fresh you can lick my teats!"
>>42806616Eventually all of Ponyville share their opinions on the scene. A whole conga line to rival apple cider day.
Their twitching, drooling mare hoods all aching to envelop your cock in their warm, soft depths, and milk you dry of your hot seed.They long to lick every inch of your bare skin, and feel the exotic caress of your hands on their coats.
>>42806425I wouldn’t be shocked if it was, I never actually got a good look at it, but it had a sinister aura.
>>42806809>>42805192
Kino
>>42806668>Finally, we're alone... After being interrupted by just about everyone...>Just you and me, Flutters...>Uhm... Are you sure the door is locked?>Yes, it's locked.>And... Did you check all the windows?>They're locked, it's fine. Come here Fluttershy...>Uhm... Maybe we should roll down the curtains... Just to be sure...>Don't be silly, nobody's going to be around at this time of night. Come here. c'mon...>Oh, whatever. I guess you're right. Now MOUNT ME! If you're okay with that, of course...
>"Hey Anons, you like science?">"How about biology?">"What if we conducted an experiment on the reproductive compatibility of humans and mares?">"Hahaha oh that would be so gross wouldn't it?">"Anon just mounting and cumming inside as many mares as possible before sunset haha oh no that'd be terrible">"Isn't that right my little hu- err, my FELLOW humans?"
>Page 7>"Gotcha, you delicious little human lover you!">"It's struggle snuggle time!"
>>42806668I guess this does technically count as flutterape. Flutters try’s and gets constantly denied. Well done, anonymous. Fresh take.
CURSE THESE HORNY HORSES THEY RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!!
>It had to have been at least a little over an hour.>You couldn't believe it when it happened. There you stood, stupefied.>Time seemed to slow to a crawl. What probably was only a moment seemed like half an hour.>Your homo sapien fingers loosened their grip, you felt the weight of your silly string blaster depart your hand.>It collided with the dirt next to you with a soft *Thud!*>You blinked your eyes a couple of times before lowering your eyes to assess the status of your shirt.>To your horror, there it was, a bright pink silly string splatter.>You dreadfully raised your gaze forward.>Butterquiet blew at the muzzle of her blaster, swirling it with her wing before holstering it and grinning at you smugly.>You barely had time to process the situation as you heard Princess Sunass shout,>"THERE! FLUTTERSHY WINS! GET HIM!">The mares rushed in from all sides. Your nightmare had come manifest.>So much for the agreement that Fluttershy got first dibs and Celestia next.>Intense estrus apparently impacts memory of past agreements, who would've thought.>But you had another trick up your sleeve.>You shot your free hand into the back of your belt with lightning speed, ripping out the canister and pulling the key out with blinding quick reflexes.>Of course Butterquiet was gonna cheat to win, your HMD was too big of a prize to risk escape because she was playing fair.>You nearly threw your shoulder out hurling your smoke grenade into the air like your life- and chastity- depended on it.>Which the latter certainly did.>All the mares were too caught up with preparations and planning to notice you sneak into the back of Pinkie's party supplies when you and Fluttershy went to collect your "weapons" from the "gunsmith," thankfully you managed to pilfer some supplies from the back room while they weren't paying attention.
>>42807792>As the horde of mares came just a razor's edge from closing the distance, the stolen smoke grenade emits a loud *BANG!* and the town square is enveloped in a thick, dark smokescreen.>Your attackers, not expecting this new development, ground to a halt in their places as the smoke fulfilled its purpose, obscuring their vision as well as burning their eyes and lungs.>*COUGH!* *COUGH!* *HACK!*>You wasted no time, whirling around in a perfect 180 and jetting off in the opposite direction out of the horde.>Not wanting to lose their prize, the mares quickly dive into a heap, dogpiling each other as they desperately attempt in vain to prevent your escape.>"OW! My eye! Watch it, hornhead!">"Eek! somepony stepped on my tail!">"Where's Anon! Ah'm tired of plain' games!">Applehorse's thick Southern twang clearly identifies her.>"You broke the rules of the duel, Anon! I thought better of you!">Princess Sunbutt attempts to chide you, you grin to yourself at the clear ring of frustration in her tone.>Moonbutt is the last audible voice to echo after you as you make your good escape, pitching an enraged threat after you.>"Thou only delayst the inevitable with thy wily underhoofed cunning, most ravishing Anonymous! We will pursue thee to the ends of the world and beyond to make thee our consort!"
>>42807799>You ran your ass off, not stopping until your lungs seared from the pain.>You stooped over and put your hand up against a tree, lungs sucking in as much air as possible to recover your depleted stamina.>Good thing for you that the duel was supposed to take place at sundown. Moonbutt may have shown up but the equines of your world were daytime creatures, and Equestria's denizens were little different.>As the last remnants of daylight gave way to darkness, the shadows managed to shield you from being spotted by the first wave of royal guard responders sent to search for you.>Thankfully none of them got close enough to sniff out your pheromones either.>You make a note of it that you'll have to get a jar of yak piss or something to smother yourself with later, to mask your scent.>You briefly contemplated a turnabout back to your house on the outskirts of town, but realized the folly of such a maneuver.>Your face would be depicted in every wanted poster in Ponyville and Canterlot, and your home would no doubt be one of the first spots to get raided.>You could already envision it in your head.>"WANTED, ANONYMOUS- HARD AND ALIVE. CRIMES- MINOR MISCONDUCT, PETTY THEFT, VOLUNTARY CELIBACY, UNLAWFUL ANULLMENT OF RUTTING AGREEMENTS">You'd have to flee to somewhere else, but where?>Crystal Empire was out of the question, no doubt they were already in correspondence with Cadance about what happened.>To add to that, they'd probably offer her a share of the "spoils" if she managed to locate and apprehend you.>Shining Armor wouldn't be any help either, you weren't gonna fall for that shit again after the first time.>A royal invitation to a "diplomatic meeting," only for him to open the gate to the princesses and glancing around to see a wall of guards behind you.>You only just barely managed to get out of that one with the rubber chicken and the plastic bag.>You thought since he was a stallion he'd be your bro and help you with this situation, only for him to exploit your trust and lead you into an ambush.>Fucking Judas.
>>42807806>Step 1Procure shotgun>Step 2Hunt Dinos>Step 3Live out in the Everfree as the Dinosaur Hunter.>Step 4Tame a T-rex.>Step 5Give it lasers and flamethrowers.>Step 6Conquer the Diamond dogs>Step 7Kill all gryphons>Step 8Build new kingdom away from ponies.
>>42807806This is shit.
>>42807806I wasn’t expecting a follow-up to the duel story but I’m glad to see it
>>42806814I wish I could say if this were accurate or not
>>42807806This is amazing anonymous. Been waiting for the sequel. Glad you can deliver.>>42807856Also, Everfree Anon here we come!
>>42807806Hard and AliveWhat a cruel sentence. Now the most wanted man in all of Equestria for a fistful of bits. Gather some true grit, this is going to be a rough ride.
>you wake after a daze, not knowing how long you 'slept>checking the internet you see this post
>>42808282>Thank you lucky stars that she used protection, technically you're still a volcel sigma as your penis hasn't touched her vagina directly
>>42808282You know it's fake 'cause she would never use a condom.
>>42807806Is there anyone Anon can trust?
>>42808530No one. Anon lives on the edge. Close to the threats. It has its own sort of thrill. But it’s a dangerous game.
>>42808530Very rarely
>Mmmmm… sleepy times. >What do you dream of, anonymous->You suddenly startle from your bed, whatever you dreamt of (if anything) whisked away like steam from a bowl of soup.>”I will get all your love!”>Something is on top of you and is hissing something to your tired mind.>Green eyes glow above you.>”You will be mine!”>Oh, it’s chrysalis. The bug horse.>You look off to the side.>Open window. She must of crawled in like a… well a bug.>You wanted a cool bedroom to sleep in, and this is the price.“Um, what the actual fuck are you doing in my house.”>”I- Wuh? Huh!?”>She sputters for a moment before regaining her composure.>“I said, I will get all of your-“>She is cut off by the spraying of raid bug spray into her face. >”AHHH!!!! What the Buck!?” >She recoils and rolls off your bed as you lead your shots and continue spraying her.>You pull out a bug swatter and whack her on the ass.>She gives a little yelp-moan and starts to run on the carpet without traction like a dog on Fourth of July.“Get on! Get!”>She finally finds traction after your assault on her buggy rump and sprays ti her face and jumps out the window.>Huh, deja vu.>You walk up to the window and watch her run into the forest.>You close and lock the window.>Looks like you will be sweating the bed tonight.
It's Tuesday and How to be Dense has been updated!https://ponepaste.org/11423Next update on next Tuesday!
>>42809075Neat!>>42809021Good thing Raid doesn't kill her. That body would be hard to bury.
>>42809121Shes like a cockroach. [Hard to get rid of.]
>>42809021Smack the bug butt.
>>42809575Easier to poke out.
>>42809575Sneak attack does extra stun damage.
what is flutterrape?
>>42810145Like being crushed by a sumptuous, sweet-smelling feather
>>42810145Read the original post of this thread, it gives a good explanation. :D
>>42809575Easier to throw sand in, I have found.>>42809340Shes slightly into it.
Guys, if we're not careful the danger snake will catch someone. Stay away from >7
>Why hello there, dahling.>Oh, like the new look?
>>42810690The punk look was more fun.
>>42810690Keep your pants on.
>there's a horse election>do you find yourself participating?
I touched Rainbow Dash’s feathers and now she won’t stop making excuses to be near me. What do I do?
>>42811252You did this to yourself.
>>42811262She left a huge feather on my bed the other day. Like a real big one. Why’d she do that?
>>42811275It means you’re fucked
>>42811458Or you’re going to be.Rumor has it that she’s insatiable.After-action report requested.
>>42810975Both parties allow raping Anon as their policy. This election is bullshit.
>>42811252Dissolve her sexual energy with complete obliviousness and innocence.>>42811561I’d say vote for a third party but… pretty sure that’s just Candy ass advocating for you getting married. And who the hell knows what either candidate’s cabinet will look like.
>>42811716Anon feels a political football.
>>42805659>>42805641>reverse flutterrape
>>42811869Fluttershy wants to rape you. If you tell her to rape you willingly it might disappoint her. She wants you to love her because of the trauma.
>>42811875This is flutterrape
>>42810975It would not be the first time
Quick bump
Well I’m glad I checked in before work
>>42812856Whenever you leave, make sure to go to the voting booth to make Trixie president of Equestria!
>>42804668Post ponified Sour Sweet, or as I like to call it, pp ss.
>>42811716>And who the hell knows what either candidate’s cabinetTrixie's contains a bunch of swamp monsters
>>42812972I don’t think that’s a particularly good idea
>>42811716How is she being sexual? She is just being weird. And clinging to my leg. And tapping me with her wings.
>>42813378Its only a matter of time. You're cooked, Anon.
I am up to wednesday shenans, don't die
>>42813399I believe I am missing some critical information.
>>42813467Foolish Anon. Getting raped by Rainbow Dash as we speak.
>Day it's all a scam anyway, the sheep control the system in Equestria.>Be Anon the idiot.>For some reason you decide to go to the political fair to see what's the word on the pegasus.>You're an idiot because you have no rights.>Can't vote either.>Surprised to see just how many political parties there are.>Booths everywhere.>Oh hey, there's the one who's in charged.>Two bored guards sit behind it chewing bubble gum and not kicking ass."Surprised you even have a booth here given that you're in charged of the whole country.">Their ears stand up straight.>"Greetings citizen. Oh, it's you. Anon.""That's me. Whatcha got going on here?">Before they could reply, the fat flanks of Celestia teleport in with a bright light.>She knocks guard 1 aside and takes the seat.>Luna, the smaller butt, does the same to guard 2.>Both guards just lay on the ground, star at the ceiling.>"Anon. Surprised to see you here. Are you here to see our policies.""I was.">Luna rolls out the government plans for the party.>Rape Anon all over the agenda."Like I get your gimmick, but I actually wanted to know what's up with your party. You don't get voted in.">Guard 1 on the ground pips up.>"They do. We're a Democratic Monarchy.""That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You get voted in?">Celestia doesn't answer, just takes out a whipping crop.>Guard 2 answer for you.>"They use to vote, but Princess Celestia was so good at her job she got a 98% voting record every time. To save money we stopped having elections with obvious outcomes.""So you don't have a Democratic Monarchy, it's just a Monarchy.">Guard 2 shrugs as Luna starts to circle the rape policy on the agenda."Well Duel-Monarchy. Wait, could Luna get voted out and leave Celestia with someone else?">Guard 1 ponders for a moment.>"I think she's more of a nepotism case. She doesn't actually have a job, she just lives in the castle.">You shrug and turn to leave just as Luna starts to beam the offending guard.>Celestia sighs.>"I just love watching him leave."
>>42813557>"Well, Anonymous.">"Don't you think its time for some real change around here?">"Trrrrixie wouldn't JUST have policy to rape you.">"You'd also move in with me."
>>42813557>"Hey Anon!">Scream like a little bitch.>A Diamond Dog's ears perk up."Damn it Cadance. Stop popping in front of my face like that!">"It's a charming tradition.""It never was either of those things.">She spreads her wings towards another political booth.>"Come see my wares.">Walk over to see two new guards.>Way more serious than the Equestrian counterparts.>"Is this the chosen, Empress?""No, and don't believe her lies about me. I'm not marrying Flurry.">Before Cadance could fume at you, crystal guard 1 actually smiles.>A very quick smile that turned into stone face.>"Good, the royal line needs not to be tainted by a non-pony.""Amen. That's the kind of Nationalist Specism I can respect.">"Anon, don't encourage them.""So what are your policies.">"Love!">Crystal Guard 2 nods, she continues for her Empress.>"Indeed. Love. Love for our nation to be a shining beacon against this chaotic world that must be put under hoof. All other creatures will be put to heel or be broken.""Good. Good. Tell me more.">Cadance is protesting, but you ignore her.>Gotten good at that.>Crystal Guard 2 actually puts a hoof on the table as she gets more excited.>"The Solar Crown as gotten lazy, we will install our Empress as the crown jewel of ponykind. No longer will we be a satellite state. Restore our stolen lands. Unite all of the world under one banner. Love will conquer all once again!">Aw, the two guards do a little salute.>Wait, you've seen that salute before.>Do they have windmill cutie marks?>Before you can investigate Cadance grabs you and drags you away."Oh come on, I want to know how they feel about ovens.">"I've been working really hard to keep them under control. Stop it!""Oh come on. It's not like you guys have a real economy. What do you even export? Inedible crystal berries? I expect you to invade Grifassistan by tomorrow."
>>42813591>"We're not Grif-ass-istan. It's Griffonstone.">Wow, these grumpy chickens have a stand here too."Whatever. What are you even doing here?">Gilda (cause who cares about the other griffons) huffs as she presents her board.>"Just representing home.""Anything to get away from that shit hole huh.">She grabs you by the tie and growls.>"Our policies includes better cooperation with the Pegasus cities. We could really restart the weather teams. Learn to read, dweeb.""So not a politic group looking to get voted into anything here. Just a petition.">Gilda lets you go and sits back down.>"I mean, I could get a seat somewhere. I have duel citizenship.">You think you hear a crystal pony guard growl.>"But why would I even do that? Boring.""You could become the mayor of Ponyville and ban Pinkie Pie.">She clicks her beak and points a claw at you.>"I like the way you think.""I would vote you in a heartbeat, but I can't vote.">"Right, right, 'cause you're property and all that.""Fuck you.">Storm off.>>42813579"Fuck off.">"Trixie would prefer to fuck on. As a bonus to my policies, even if I don't get voted in you can still move in with me.""You're not even a Ponyville residence. You can't put yourself on any ballet.">Trixie taps her chin with her hoof.>"No matter. I can easily remedy that by calling myself a political party.">Mayor Mare calls from down the auditorium.>"The registration fee is 10 bits.">"Trixie can't call herself a political party. Unless you fund me 10 bits.""And be raped by you? No thanks.">"Trrrixie will not be denied.""Wait a moment, didn't you have to pay to have a booth here?">Her eyes widens as several security guard mysteriously show up.>"Curses."
>>42813624>Man, can't vote or form you're own party.>Then an evil idea comes to you.>Can you join a party?>In a depressing corner of the event, is a booth.>A gloomy run down booth with frowns that won't turn upside down.>One that represents the most down trodden in society."Hey Cranky my donkey! What's your story?">"Did you really have to come here? I was happy being ignored.""And I'm happy to not get raped, but we can't have what we want. Talk to me.">Cranky groans as he throws down a pamphlet five years too old.>"Mules, cows, and other ungulates tend to get the short end of the stick. There's a giraffe that has to pretend she's an animal as crazy as that sounds. Ponies really don't have the best support system when you don't get cutie marks. Sure they try to accommodate you, but it's rather passive aggressive.""Like being a second class citizen.">He nodes."So what's keeping your group from succeeding?">"Money, support, the usual.">Lean down to whisper."And if you were in charge?">Cranky doesn't answer yet.>He looks at you, then slowly grins.>"Why a more harmonious existence, Mr. Anon.">Oh that glint in his eye.>He wants revenge."How about I help you. I want to join your party.">A look of confusion crosses him.>"Can you do that? Aren't you, you know, you?""See that's the thing. All these horsie parties have me as a rape victim as a major policy. They left it open for me to join so it can boost their party's position. Let me join you, we announce a Rape Anon raffle if your party gets voted in.">"Which makes all the ponies vote in the election.""As long as you promise to rig the raffle to never actually get me raped.">"Oh Anon, by the time we're in charge. The ponies will have other things to worry about. They'll never get the chance."
>>42813654>Ruin has come to Ponyville.>Everything is on fire.>The lower species have risen up and taken control of the system.>Panic is all around you.>The crystal castle is being torn down.>Raiding parties have formed against neighbors.>Some real anarchy shit.>Someone tugs at your shirt.>"Anon. When's the raffle?">Look down at Fluttershy, with her pink ticket."Shouldn't you be in a gulag?">"I've been good!">A shadow looms over her."Not good enough."
>>42813665The good ending, with anon plowing prime ungulateussy.
>>42813480>You step away from the door.>code red… orange, blue, yellow and the rest of the colors you don’t care to list right now.>You walk towards the kitchen of this small rundown ponyville shack.>The distinct sound of hooves on wood ring out as the blue horse gets impatient.>”I know you’re in there, anon!!”>You open your fridge, your salvation sitting right there next to a half empty ketchup bottle.>A golden square, made for the express purpose of defeating these tiny bundles of sunshine.>As you walk back towards the door you unwrap the geometric weapon of pony destruction from its plastic wrap.>You open the door by 45 degrees.>”Oh finally, you ape. Now are you gonna buck me-“>The great weapon flies from your hand. The distinct sound of American Sliced Cheese on an animals face cuts off the skittle pone.>Rainbow Dash writhes on the ground, her not so dexterous hooves clawing at her face to get the cheese off.>”AHH!! BUCK YOU, ANON!! NOT AGAIN!!!”>You close the door and go about your fuck ass business in the sanctity of your creaky house(Old green I made that seemed applicable).
>Anon dating Princess Luna because he's the only male in Equestria who isn't scared of her>She got instructions from Twilight Sparkle about dating which she learned exclusively from books>She also borrowed Twilight's favorite romance novels>(Twilight doesn't know about this bit)>You know, the Everfree Forest isn't that bad when I'm with you, Luna.>Fufufu Anon... There is something we really love about this place.>What is it?>That we're all alone in here...>She throws away her cloak, revealing her dominatrix outfit>Uhh what the fuck, Luna?>She pins Anon down under her hooves>AGH>We hope you like PAIN, Anon>No, no, no I don't like pai-AARGHH>WE ARE JUST GETTING STARTED, BOY>S-she's into domination!>*Huff, huff* Princess Luna *huff* Stop!>Twilight Sparkle! Look! We did it! We're having sex! Our date was successful!>That's not dating Princess Luna! That's BDSM! And it's really hot, but Anon might not be into it!>P-Please... Take your hoof off my...>No, behold, Twilight Sparkle. It's just like in your books. That means we're doing it right.>Wait, books?... What b- Oh.>Perhaps you would like to show us how it's done, Twilight Sparkle?>Oh... I uh... Oh, well, I guess we can't go back anymore, can we? H-haha.>Neither can Anon, hahaha>H-hahaha>HAHAHA>HAHAHAHAHA now give me that whip, Princess Luna. I've got some pent-up sexual frustration to vent.>TWILIGHT SPARKLE>P-Princess Celestia?!>I can't believe what I am looking at, Twilight Sparkle.>It was all her idea, sister!>Unforgivable, Twilight Sparkle. You didn't give him the safe word.>Oh, right... The safe word...>And what is the safe word you will choose?>Uh... Friendship?>No, Twilight. That was a trick question. When you take your date in the Everfree Forest in the middle of the night, there is no safe word.>Thanks, Princess Celestia. I have learned a valuable lesson about BDSM today.>That's my girl. Now let me concentrate for a moment.>Oh. Looks like Anon has escaped. Wait, why did you just summon your fetish gear, Princess Celestia?!>That's right, Twilight Sparkle. The night is young, and the sub... is YOU. Right, Luna? Fufufufu...>Fufufufu...>Uh.. Uhhh... F-Friendship?
>>42813912That's not how you greentext
Lots of good green this thread
>>42814206As there should be, anonymous. :D
>>42813923He is drunk.
>>42814530Yeah I was a little tipsy yesterday
<--- your new marefriend
>>42814917She's like in my top 3
>>42814944That belong in the trash!
>EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLL
>>42814917>>42814944Shes like a fluttershy on steroids. Dont go anywhere alone with her.
>>42815431>"SHES NOT BETTER THEN ME!!"
>>42815431>Shes like a fluttershy on steroidsworse, she's a canonical marecel
>>42815443>"Yay!"
>>42815436>>42815447>Sprays fluttershy with salty water.Get on! Get!
>>42815443It just makes her more desperate to get in thou boxer briefs.
>>42815447what makes you think that Anon, who never had a proper romantic relationship with a member of opposite sex, would not help a fellow incel in their pursuit of happiness? >b-butyou seek pleasure to oneself instead of cooperation with your love interest
>>42815467You smug pompous imbecile! YOU DENSE FUCK! Its not about companionship! Its about not letting them win!
>>42815467I don’t know what kind of anons you write, but I like to think anonymous in flutterrape is a nice guy that always gets someone catching feelings for him, but he doesn’t want none of that for different reasons.>>42815474EXACTLY!! We can not let them win!
>>42815482>I don’t know what kind of anons you writeaverage anon
>>42815486Okay, I guess I just base him off me then.
>>42815486>Average>Average is boringJESUS CRAP!!!
>>42815489>be me>post >>42815483>get replied with that gif three minutes laterstop following me, Fluttershy
>>42815491ITS WHAT SHE DOES YOU FOOL!
>>42815498
>>42815499NONONONONONNONONONNONOOOOOO! WHY?! WHY WON'T YOU DIE??
>>42815501SHES DODGING VEGETANON!!! RUN!!
>>42815491What does this even mean?
>>42815490This reminds me of >>42801046
>>42815447Fluttershy, what got into you? You should lift up your fellow marecels.
>>42815647You know she's a bitch that hides behind her insecurities.
>>42815663Canonically false, Discord's attempts to inflame resentment in her heart were totally ineffective.
>>42815678This but to anon.
>>42815720What is Flutterrape's official stance on Fluttershy rape baiting Anon?
>>42815747As long as anon is creeped out and not fucking with it. It’s flutterrape.
>>42815501That has literally never worked even once, why would you bother
>>42815747"Fascinating. However, I have no rape fantasies. Later."
>>42815799Fluttershy alone drags those numbers up. And anon is just a stand up guy.
>>42815747"This data just has one sample size, you.">"It's very convening.">Look up at her with a most twisted face of disgust.>Then you yell out.>"Twilight!">She screams from the top of her crystal castle, the play-set.>"No! She showed it to me already. I want nothing to do with bad research.""Be a princess and ban it.">"That sets a terrible precedent that I fear will roll into further events that are unforeseen.">Fluttershy tugs at your coat.>"Hey, this was about me remember?">Put your boot to her body and scooch her away."Not now, I'm petitioning the princess to prevent bad data being used to propagate terrible ideas. Like communism, or women's studies.">"Anon, we don't have either of those here.">Look down at the yellow horse as she quietly kicks dust.>That takes the wind out of your sail."I'm going home.">"Yay! I'll walk you home.">Fucking Fluttershy.
>>42815988Kinda cute I guess
>>42815511Good question
Why doesn't Anon visit AmmuNation?
>>42816579The mare at the counter keeps hitting on him.
>>42816668>>42816579Gun to yo head, you sticking it in flutters?
cuck thread
>>42815747Women will only admit this under the influence or safe feeling of anonymity.
>>42816698That’s your thread.
It's Flurry time
>>42817288Ain’t have time for nepo baby.
>>42816970Yeah the flutterrape thread is full of cucks just like you.
>>42817517Thats not really true. It’s more of not wanting to have sex with rapists.
how much jiggly physics is there on the evil container?
>>42817543A hypnotic amount. So dont look.
>>42817564Maybe one slap…
>>42815747>I love you too, Fluttershy. I'll kiss you a lot tonight.
>>42815747>a strong male forces themselveswhy not "a strong male forces himself"?Is it a strong male or a strong ma'am?
FUCKING HORSESSSSSSSSSSS!!
>>42817914I am pretty sure Thats fluttershy who wrote that.>>42817761No anonymous! Dont do it!
>>42817947Sir, that's a pony.
>>42818222What?
>>42817947>FUCKING HORSES
>>42816756>safe feeling of anonymitygo ask femanons on /co/ or wherever they are these days
>>42818395Women don’t exist on the internet, and Anons don’t exist on the pony-web. It’s all Fluttershy replying to herself.
>>42818384>The Rainbow maned pony launches herself at your window as she yells through it with excitement. >”You fuck Ponies!?”“Not what I fucking meant!”>You hold up a jerryrigged device with a power crystal in the middle.>You flick the switch and the glory of the sun shoots from the omitter.>The power of a million lumens (Not really, you don’t want to catch a murder charge. And prison would land you in the hooves of the princesses. Not what you want) Rainbow dash launches herself away covering her eyes and rolling on the floor. >”WHAT THE BUCK WAS THAT!???”>You flip the homemade flashlight in your hand and blow the smoke away from it. ”I meant that as an expression.”>You say simply.
>>42818783>you light the way to your bedroom after a long day and see this
>>42818869>Burns house down.
>>42804668son what the fuck are you saying, why are you fetishizing ponies, pervert, you had the time to write this as an application of a job, fucking dumbass. Maybe you should probably be in the jar with rainbow dash, feel the semen you wasted on pony porn.
>>42818911No, fluttershy. Parental shaming is not my fetish.
>>42818911Why are you yelling at us and not /nmp/?
>>42819042Fluttershy is trying to guilt you.
>>42818911>Day getting called out in Equestria.>Some old guy is on your front lawn, he reminds you of your dad.>"You some kind of freak son? Fucking ponies of all things!""I've been alone on this god-forsaken world for over a decade without human contact.">"That's no excuse.">Raise a finger to shut him up."And the first thing I get when I see someone for the first time is being accused to having sex with ponies. You fucking asshole. They want to rape me. I don't want anything to do with them.">Old guy pauses before he looks down at a click board.>"Is this not a sex thread like the others?""Sex is what we try to avoid here. Sex means I lost and a pony got me.">He hums as he looks through his notes.>"Well guess nothing to do about it.""Can you please save me from this nightmare?">"Oh no, I'm just here to get >yous. I never actually cared if you masturbate to pony.>Asshole disappears into the ether.>Fluttershy is next to you on the porch.>"Are bot postings your fetish, Anon?""No.">Fucking Fluttershy.
I wouldn't have sex with Fluttershy. But I would with Lyra! Shes so cute. And her cunt juice tastes minty!!
>>42819717This post was made by minty hooves.>>42819707Hey guys, Im Charlie. Did that guy just turn into dust?
>>42819726Sounds like something an Anon who wants minty horse pussy would say.
>>42819752I would rather not get that weird mint feeling on my penis.
>>42819752I'll get your lesbian wife to beat you again.
>>42819800NO ANONYMOUS! THEY ARE SWINGER RAPISTS!!
>>42819817Hah! The fool sealed his fate. Let them have him. Two less horses to worry about.
>>42819825>>42819800NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ANONYMOUS, RUN!! VEGETANON, WE MUST SAVE OUR FELLOW MAN!
>>42819835I've seen that animation, poor human got caught.
>>42820010And kept…
>>42819835Chokers are pretty hot
>>42820056Perhaps, but don’t let them lure you, anonymous.
>>42820056No they're not Fluttershy.
Be honest, would you say no to all the fresh mare milk you could squeeze out of her teats?
>>42819825Fucking hell.
>>42820370Not sure whats going on here but I hate it.
>>42820370Mare Milk isnt consumable for humans unless you like turn it into alchohol through fermentation. Which means that there might be some freaky beverages in equestria.
FUCK!! I just deleted a green in my paste bin that I didn’t copy down somewhere. FUCK!! Gotta start over now.
>>42820389Mongols built the greatest empire in human history on horse milk.I bet Flutterbutter's milk is extra thick and creamy.
>>42820404I also believed they fucked their mares. So you’re telling me I could potentially conquer equestria with my harem of mares and subsisting solely on alchohol made from their milk…?
>>42820412>usurpsing the sisters by sucking and fucking across EquestriaWrite it
>>42820418I already have a way to kingship from like three different princesses. If I wanted to be royalty I would.
>>42820404A empire built on rape gets rape juice.
>>42820395That is unfortunate
>"HI!">"I heard how you came inside Rainbow Dash!">"SHES SO AWESOME!">"Can you cum inside me too!?"
>>42820504RUMORS! I did no such thing!
>>42820499Yes, very. But I just finished it now.
>>42817615>You, anonymous, step into your home through the front door with full hands.>After a hectic morning and the dodging of many a little colorful rapists, you come home with a bounty of groceries.>Even if some stalls tried to barter for sexual favors as payment.>Ahem, Applejack, Ahem.>You put the stuff down on your counter.>You really need to take a piss, for a while now.>You walk through your house, Sun glinting at your eye for a moment despite you ignoring it.>You open the door to your bathroom… only to be greeted by the sounds of brushing.>A blue mare with white hair stands there brushing her teeth.>Or was, she stoped as soon as you open the door. Slowly her eyes turn to you.>”Oh uhm… I thithnt think yoou wouth be home tho thoon.”>You look on with unamused curiosity.“What the hell are you doing here?”>You ask deadpan.>”Oh yeeah. I am whhere twuo wape whyou.”>You squint your eyes. This mare made no sense.“Say that again, but without the toothbrush in your mouth.”>She blushes in embarrassment as she realizes she still has it in her mouth.>She takes it out.>”I am whhere thwo wape thyou.”>She repeats, much more shy this time.“Come again?”>You say somewhat harshly, you really need to take that piss.>She haunches down.>”I wath goin thu. W-withh thour penith.”>You shake your head incredulously. Not understanding a word.“What the fuck are you even saying!? Why are you here? How are you here!? How did you get in!?”>Just push her out of the way and go to the toilet, anonymous. Piss on her even. Actually she might be into that. Just piss goddamnit, you can’t wait much longer!>She haunches down more under your gaze and intense words. She points a hoof behind you.“What the fuck is it?”>You look behind you, expecting some bullshit.>Huh, derpy sized hole in the roof.>How did you not see that?>Also a little note with a golden heart on it attached next to the hole->We have no time for this. Take a piss, anon!>You turn back to the sheepish mare.“Get Out!”>You yell, pointing at the hole and snapping your fingers as you do.>”Eeep!!”>You must have sounded like a drill Sargent because she immediately saluted and stood up straight.>”Yes sir!”>She then flys out of your bathroom and through the hole in the roof.>Ponies man.>You close the door, walk up to the toilet, and begin to undo your belt with haste.>A quick glance to the side at the window shows a peeping fluttershy who->”Eeep!!”>… Eeeps as soon as you look at her.“GET OUT OF HERE FLUTTERSHY!!”>You yell with the fury of a man Whos bladder is about to burst. Your fist shaking. Your voice booming through the wood of the house and practically making it shake.>She startles and flys away, letting you continue.>Pants down, gun aimed.>Sweet release as the sound of a waterfall blesses your ears.
>>42820512A new pegasus entrance has been made in Anon’s home. How convenient.
>>42820523Anonymous has a Fly-through rape entrance now.
>Your love is true, dear Fluttershy,>But many a thing can go awry.>For he is human, you a mare,>And there is much that you don't share.>Your young mare's heart is much too pure,>To Anon, it will hold no allure...>A candid offer for a date>May fail to win your chosen mate!>Cause human romance is complex,>And so their taste in all things sex.>There's but one way to win his love,>And show you're into him, sort of.>But Fluttershy, it will be tough,>Because you'll have to play it rough:>Lead him deep in the Everfree,>To a place from which he cannot flee>Then pin him down against a rock,>And tug his jeans to loose his cock!>You can guess the following phase>He'll squirm at first, then give you praise!>And then his heart will all be yours,>For every man such thing adores.>Now you may think, this is absurd!>But it will work, you have my word.>Cause it's a thing for every ape,>To fantasize of brutish rape!>The tales of which would make you squeal,>To human men have great appeal.>Reveal the assaulter to be a she,>He'll say, God, I Wish That Were Me!
>>42820710Make it stop. MAKE. IT. STOP! WHY DID I IMAGINE THAT IN SONG FORM HALFWAY THROUGH?!
>>42820713>Tonight I'll see my human love~>I'll pounce upon him from above~>I'll seal his lips with this duct tape~>Tonight I'll carry out this raaaaape~
>>42820724>”Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again, and again. Has to happen.”
>>42820724
>>42820724>AT THE GALAAAAAAAAA~
>>42820710Wait, you mean fucking Zecora put Fluttershy up to it?
>>42820822Zecora is a bro, but she likes to mess with ya.
>>42820724>>42820799
>>42820799>At the Gala, I'll take Anon>Far from where we might be seen~>I'll tie him up against a tree,>then I'll rape him at the Galaaaaaaaaaaa~
>>42820873Fluttershys plan fails because she tries to get him alone but anon keeps getting harassed by mares and it ends with Celestia taking a crack at him… I might make that green actually.
>>42820880>Anon's reaction to all of this.
>>42820710Terrifying to read this, well done.>>42820873Meanwhile, Anon didn't go to the gala.
>>42820893Maybe good ol violence will raise Anon’s spirit.
>>42820880You should
>>42820880>>42821024Gosh, that would be a tough write. Hell, that sounds like a multiple parter. If I want to be creative.
>flutts wants to see art of you fucking her in the ass
>>42821267She is the last character I would ever draw.
>>42821267Drawing is the only thing that makes me more upset than seeing yellowrat on my doorstep
>>42821318I hear that. Something I must do even If I am ass.
>>42821267I thought that was a pregnancy test at first
>>42821378PTSD I assume. Get some mares tryna falsely trap ya, anonymous?
>>42821378I'm sure she could piss on it, i-if that's what you want...
>>42821675No
>>42820724>>42820799>>42820873Perfect
>Heard you dont like mondays
>>42820873>I'm here at the Grand Gala, with my favorite human male>I'll get him on his knees and underneath my tail (holy shit)>My parents will not stop me>From raping him at the galaaaaa (at the gala)
Truly these are vile mares...
>>42822030I’ve used the time travel spell, so I can kick Shining Armor in the balls. Bye Flurry.
>"Anon.">"I am a Princess now.">"And I command (You) to make love to me."
>>42822104Boo! Get off the stage. You're somehow a worse actor than Celestia.
>>42822104lol no
Fight me.
>>42822030Holy shit indeed. Thats a good rhyme.
>>42822104Whats if I say no? The dungeons?
>>42822104I don't like princesses. Consider this my first act of insubordination.>Rustles plastic bag>>42820880Gonna keep working on the duel story but I think I'm gonna take a swing at this, too.
>>42822988Oh, youre the duel guy? Love your greens. Well done and good luck.
i am up to sunday shenans, do not die
>>42823053Yes sir.
>>42804668>>>/trash/
>>42823062I wish, but Fluttershy keeps leaving the trash after I stuff her in.
>>42823081have you considered sealing it with some anvils to ensure she doesn't break out?
>>42823104They ran out of anvils at the anvil store.
>>42823154Pinkie is an avid collector.
>>42822925Rape dungeons.
>>42823160I heard.>>42823161We aint calling them sex dungeons anymore? She inherit it from her parents?
>>42823161That's just Fluttershy's basement.
>>42823513How do you know? You’ve been there?
>>42822104Well look at you
>>42823538Truth or dare with Dash. The easiest game to win against her.
>>42824124… what?
>>42824124>Oh yeah? Oh yeah? You think you've got GUTS, Rainbow Dash? Well I bet you wouldn't have the GUTS to RAPE me right HERE and NOW. I DARE you to do THAT if you have the GUTS but you're not BADASS enough>Oh y-yeah?! Is that what you think, Anon? Well I guess I'll, I'll.... AHH LET'S DO IT *ZOOOMM* *CRASH* *HUFF HUFF HUFF* *OH ANON MMM* *OHHHH ANON I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT* *AH AHHH* *I LOVE YOU ANON*>Uhh whose turn is it?>*PLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP PLAP SLAP SMACK CLAP*>M-my turn.>Pinkie Pie, I DARE you not to eat THIS delicious cupcake.>Nghhh!! It looks SO delicious!>Twilight?>*AHHH ANON I'M GONNA COME*>I'll uh, take a break. I have to go. There's a uh, book. I need to.... uhh... read. In my bedroom. Yes. I'll be back.
>>42824303Fluttershy is writing greens again…
>>42824310Please understand
>>42824303>PINKIE?! WHERE IS THE CUPCAKE?>Uh difth do anuhphin!>Spit the wrapper, at least. It could go very wrong for you.>Cmon Rarity, it's just paper->No no no, SPIT IT
Why'd (You) do it?Why did you let the thread drop to Page 7?Why did you let Eris rape us?
oi off 8
>>42824650Seemed like it might be fun.
>>42824650The Pages!? What do they mean!? Who is Eris!?
>>42824650Don't worry, I had Fluttershy dress up as us. She thinks we have that much of an ego. Eris got her real good.
>>42825165Old joke that isn't really funny anymore.
>He thinks he has a choice!!
>>42825546And you think you have a chance.
>>42825593Anon was found the following day with broken bones, furniture, and a severe broken dick. DNA test concluded Fluttershy wasn't present.
>>42825602Snapped that shit like a glow stick. It will heal though.
>>42825602Jokes on them, I infected myself with Super Pony Aids. They're screwed.
>>42825745>I cured it before anything happened. >No need to worry. >Get married.
>>42825835I knew you would try that, so reversed genetified the disease to become even more ravenous when a spell to remove it is introduced!Also I always worry and you’ll never stop me from doing so.
>>42825882>You didnt deny the marriage part I see. >I will get you a dragon wife, they are immune to pony diseases!
>>42825882>>42825925>"YOU HEAR THAT, ANON? I'M GONNA GET YOU SOME DRAGONUSSY!"
>>42826040Sounds fire….
I'm gonna bump this thread with no survivors
>>42826532Was right behind you on that. Well done.
It's Tuesday so How to be Dense has been updated.https://ponepaste.org/11423
>>42825925>>42826040That's the best part Candyflanks. The triggering factor is magic, which is why I don't have to worry about it. Everything else in this god-forsaken land though ain't going to survive it. It's only called Ponyaids 'cause you guys always make it about yourself.
Princess Cadance is getting serious about her human husband program...(You) aren't hiding out somewhere playing video games and neglecting your repopulation duties, are you, Anon?
>>42826696I am crafting and shit. Basement factory type shit. Anti-rape utility devices type shit.
>>42826696Of c-course I'll be comming with you officer. >I said Cumming anonYeah, I'll be comming with you.>No anon, dearest, I mean, you'll be ejaculating with me.R-really!? But I'm a virgin!>Even better! You can be my husband!Oh...*Wild sex with horse noises*
>>42826696Yeah I was playing video games. Mares are fucking stupid and vidya is way cooler.
>>42826714Amen brother!
>>42826714They are locked onto your location.
>>42826696Good thing GTA is one of my favorite games so I can avoid my wanted level with pony law enforcement. Just gotta take my wagon to the spray shop or hide under a bridge or something
>>42827326>spray shop door closes>the spray shop mares
>>42827332Looks like I'm getting a new wanted level with one of these bad boys.
>>42827337Foolish humie
>>42827337>>42827342She stole your ammo with a projected hand. You must run.
>>42827351Throw a bag of oats. She can’t help herself. The little thieving shiet .
>>42827524Genius… why didn’t I think of that…
>"Anoooon~.">"Enjoying Grand Theft Mare 6?">"Good!">"Its time for your mandatory ball draining with Flurry!">"She knows you looooooove it~!"
>>42827711I'm not playing that AAA slop you dumb broad. And I'm not fucking your daughter either.
>>42826540Nice
>>42827711Candy is such a casual normie idiot. GTM6 isn’t out. In fact, it probably just got delayed again.
>>42820710Beautiful.
>>42827524The mare is satisfied, for now
>>42827822That mare staring at us behind the counter makes me nervous.
>>42826556Not the orange one?
>>42828134FUCK,That would've have been so good,I forgot about appul poster.
How do we kill her when the dimensional merge happens and Equestria and Earth get fused together?
>>42828233Kill her? I bet the world is going to explode crashing into each other like that. We're all going to be dead.
>>42828233What? Thats just Celestia. Dealt with her before. Some sand in the eye outta fic this.
>>42828233With Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
>>42828313O:I don’t think we need all of them for cell tower. Chuck Norris is a much greater threat than Tia.
>>42828233At least post a dangerous mare.
What now monkey boy?
>>42828763STOP TOUCHING ME! MARES HAVE COOTIES!
>you get abducted
>>42828315
>>42829034How can you love me when you don't exist, non-canon horrendous OC pony?
>>42829034AHH!! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!? CODE RED! CODE RED! UNKNOWN PONY! UNKNOWN METHOD OF DEALING WITH THEM!!
>>42829137It's fine, it's a fake pony from that Fallout Equestria nonsense.
>>42828763That's a doctored picture. That horse is way fatter.
>>42829097She just a cosplayer. Don’t make fun of her OC.
Remember to give thanks for your news papers, Anons. They are our sacred weapons against the mare menace.
I'll be the to sav-
I'll be your hero just hold oooooon
>Anon walks into the parlor.>Rape time.
>>42830098Good thing I would never go there.
>>42830104>"OMIGOSH!">"Hi Anon!">"Whatsup dude?">"Aw, y'know. Just being awesome.">"Yeah, hehe.">"Anyway, I was thinking that, as bros, we gotta make sure we take care of ourselves, right?">"Right!">"So we should go down to the spa and get a full course treatment!"
>>42830118https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbAwAn5oo-k
>>42830126
>>42830118She'll abandon me the moment someone touches her hooves. I know it.
>>42829209Really? >Pulls out fat boy.I know my defense for this mare then.
>>42828763Fuck, Tomboy Skyrim Nord mare. What does one do in this situation?
>>42830257>inb4 she reveals she's actually a breton from the western Reach
>>42830280>All my attraction has left through the window.
>>42830118Making a green of this.
>>42830310
>>42830310I hope Derpy beats her.
>>42830414Sadly not in the cards. Even if I wish Derpy was in it… maybe a little.
>>42830118>Rainbro is trying to get me raped
>>42830474Imma skip on the spa because I don’t know enough spas to write correctly so we just dodging that.
>>42830474I figured, because of her idiocy, she'd attempt to >rape the whole time you're there. Only to get beat to the punch by the twins.
>>42830492What if the spa mares are lesbians and rape Ranbow dash instead?(KMGAY)
>>42829034
>>42828840Not again...
Did yall see that or nah…?
>"You want to fuck mares...">"You want to get your dick sucked by unicorn mares...">"You want to cum inside a unicorn mare's tight ponut...">"And you will do as such...">"NOW!"
All this pent up human seed isn't good for my sexual health. I need a mare to help relieve me!
>>42830699Damn I really want to have vaginal sex with an earth pony for some reason
>>42830778Damn I really want to have sex with (You) for some reason
>>42830778Dude, she heard that.
>>42830788That’s dangerous
>>42830699>Slaps her horn away.Yeah, that shit doesn’t work on me.
>>42831415 >Her wings shoot out in her excitement.>”Heck Yes! Buck the spa! Fuck the spa, even! Let’s do it!”>Before you can even respond she is tugging on your arm with two hooves around them. Flapping her wings.“Dash…? What are you doing?”>”Trying to… Bring you to my house!”>her face twists and her eyes close in frustration and effort as she tries to pull you upwards.“You live on a cloud, and you can’t lift me.” >You deadpan as she stops and returns to the ground with a grumpy expression. >”Fine, your place.”“Right now?”>You let her lead you to your house as you walk behind.>”Yes right now, my wings ache.”>You look at her wings.>The arms seem tense. Wings out. >Guess she really does need this.“You lead the way.”(More perhaps later)
>>42830118 #>>42830310 (You) #>"OMIGOSH!">You hear a familiar voice from a low cloud before a blur of rainbow dashes down from the sky.>"Hi Anon! Whatsup dude?">Rainbow Dash, or Rainbro as you call her. A good friend.“Walking, walking and rolling. You?”>"Aw, y'know. Just being awesome.">Like always it seems.>"Yeah, hehe...">She clears her throat as a thought rushes into her brain.>"Anyway, I was thinking that, as bros, we gotta make sure we take care of ourselves, right?">You nod in agreement.“Right.”>"So we should go down to the spa and get a full course treatment!">…spa? Her sudden words throw you off.“Fuck you mean, Spa?”>You ask out of nowhere without thinking.>”Oh uh. You know… ponyville spa…”>She says somewhat quietly after your sudden question.>This pony? Spa?“First of all, I didn’t know there was a spa here. Second, you go to the spa?”>WHAT!? What? No, no. Not at all. Just… throwing you off, y’know. See if you really are a bro, y’know? Bros would never uh… do… that. Ahem.”>She goes from sheepish to suspicious to smiling like she is hiding a body under her floorboards.>Obviously lying. You blink slowly unamused.“Dash, I don’t care if you do girly stuff. That doesn’t change who you are.”>You say in your therapist mode. Your ability to disarm others has come in handy in this here ponyland.>”Really?”>She looks up at you hopefully.“Yeah, I mean it. Why do you want to go to the spa anyway?”>”Feels nice… and preening…”>She squeaks the end part cringing back as she said it like a turtle into their shell.“Come again?”>”P-preening…”>… the fuck is that?“The fuck is that?>”Y’know…”>She says quietly, flapping her wings slightly. Almost like she is bringing attention to them.“Dash… Im not a pony. Alien, remember? You gotta be more specific with species things. I don’t know what a preening is.”>“They uh… touch feathers… clean them. Readjust them. Straighten them out… other stuff…”>Why does she go to the spa for this?“Why do you go to the spa for preening? Is it a professional thing? Is it hard?”>She relaxes a little now that she sees you don’t judge her.>”Oh no. Not at all. Anypony can do it. It’s easy. It’s just that it’s considered-“>A chance to be a good friend has landed right in your lap, anonymous. Time to be a good person.>”Im your bro, Rainbro. If it ain’t hard, I am willing to help. Even if it was difficult, I am willing to learn. Cause I am your bro, dude.”>Give that reward winning smile, Anomymous. The Great Gatsby would be jealous of that one.>”R-really!? You would do that for me.”>You keep up that smile. It’s there genuinely.“Of course, dude. I don’t mind.”>She looks up at you like a kid who just got told Santa was coming to town… do ponies have a Santa equivalent? Meh, something to ask Twi.(Continued. Missed a “>”).
>>42831443>Her wings shoot out in her excitement.>”Heck Yes! Buck the spa! Fuck the spa, even! Let’s do it!”>Before you can even respond she is tugging on your arm with two hooves around them. Flapping her wings.“Dash…? What are you doing?”>”Trying to… Bring you to my house!”>her face twists and her eyes close in frustration and effort as she tries to pull you upwards.“You live on a cloud, and you can’t lift me.”>You deadpan as she stops and returns to the ground with a grumpy expression.>”Fine, your place.”“Right now?”>You let her lead you to your house as you walk behind.>”Yes right now, my wings ache.”>You look at her wings.>The arms seem tense. Wings out.>Guess she really does need this.“You lead the way.”(More perhaps later)
>>42831419This is pissing me off.
>>42831456It’s okay anon, good work so far
>>42831459Fourchan isnt letting me delete my mistakingly made post. It’s like fire in my veins.
>>42831464This is genuinely pissing me off so much. Does Fourchan have a delete limit? Or is this shit just glitched?
>>42831501You can't delete it if it's been too long since the post was made. You'd need a janny to do it now
>>42831545Fawk. Man, it didnt let me since I posted it. Oh well. Doesnt really matter.
JANITOR!!! DELETE MY POST!! ( >>42831419) AND MY LIFE, IS YOURS!!!
>>42831447Fat ass Anon saved him from a cloud house trip.
>>42831604Rainbows skinny ass could not pick up a 200 pound grown man with wings alone.
>>42831443FUCK. I missed another “>”. All that deleting and correcting bullshit is for naught.
>>42831613I think you underestimate these little poniesAnyway, looking forward to moar, you're nailing the Rainbro vibe
>>42831662There mass is mostly made of marshmallows and magic.(Also thanks, I am a big fan of Rainbro. One of my favorite genres).
>>42831648There will be another Flutterrape thread my guy, just save it to a text document and do a little cleanup, then post the proper version there. All good. Thanks for stepping up to the plate and cooking up green for us.Speaking as the Duelfag for anything it's worth
>>42830788She's only after the ape prince we're fine
Grab them by the horn. It'll render them powerless.
>>42831980Are you sure?
>>42832236Indeed!
>>42831980You’re going to horn jizz all over your hand.
>>42831980Just don’t be holding that when she climaxes.Bzzzt.
>>42832331>>42832335You're both being paranoid. Watch, I'll go and grab the horn of a unicorn RIGHT NOW.
>>42832389WAIT ANON DON'T!
>>42831980>>42832331>>42832389Hes right. Completely shuts them down. Might get some confetti on you or a laser light show in your eye. But thats it.
>>42832389Gross. Go wash yourself with bleach.
>Covered in unicorn horn goopDamnit.
>>42832664What did you expect?
>>42832664You had it coming.
>>42832672>>42832708>Be Anon.>Testing a new theory.>Unicorns obviously feel some sensation of pain in their horns.>Perhaps grabbing them by said body part can render them incapacitated!>Yes, worth a test.>Just need to find one...>"Hi Anon! Whats up? Wanna go out?">Bingo..."Hey Lyra!">"Oh wow! You're talking to me! Thats kinda hot!""Yeah, for sure. Take THIS!">"Huh what're-AH~!">You grab her horn, gripping tightly.>Her legs shake as her eyes roll back, drooling."Yes, it works!">"Unggggg~!">Her horn sparks and golden gloop fires from the tip, covering your torso and face."Oh god what the fuck!?">"I-its been so long since I had one of those... wow~.">She makes sultry eyes and stares intently at you."L-Lyra, this was a mistake!">She huffs.>"Letting your guard down, that was the mistake!">She tackles you to the ground, using her heft to pin you down.>You were viciously raped over and over.Well, I guess that settles it.
>>42832850She would be rendered useless by a horn job. Taken out for a few hours. I have had to… get my hands dirty a few times…
>>42832889Falsities and propaganda. This Anon is typing with hooves.
>>42832899>I typed this with hands… never said they were physical though…
>>42832889Nice try
If I ever meet one of you faggots in Equestria and you're a unicorn anonmare, I'm giving you a hornjob on sight whether you consent or not
>>42832922Just a cycle on non-consent.
>>42831613You're kidding, right? She can fly like Mach 1, the lift she can generate has to be incredible
>>42833026She is going to rape you. Do not resist.
>if (you) got stuck in equestria
>>42833026While flying downwards. I believe eagles can do the same. Hawks too. And they can’t pick up a grown man.
>>42832916It’s true. Best way to incapacitate a unicorn rapist.
>>42833120>It’s true. Best way to incapacitate a unicorn rapist.
>>42833080I don't understand a thing you just said to me child. Get lost before I punt you.
>>42833131I mean, last resort of course.
I don’t think I have actually made a flutterrape story about fluttershy… perhaps a green is in order.
>>42833362She doesn't deserve it.
>>42833284I see through your ruse, dirty unicorn.
>>42833502I have hands, thank you very much.>>42833457True, nor do I particularly like her. But it’s kind of the tradition.
>>42833508>>42832907So you must be this one.
>>42833116Nope, Peregrine falcon can hit 320mph in a dive, Dash can approach the rainboom speed, presumably Mach 1 (~760mph) in level flight, though she only succeeded in a dive. She's also much larger and heavier than an eagle, so she needs much more strength to move that mass.
>>42833535Meh whatever. Magic ponies. Fly fast. Doesn’t matter.
>>42833544Well yeah, it's all speculation, so whether or not she can lift an anon is just a guess. But if I was you, I wouldn't go betting my horse virginity that she can't do it.
>>42831613>>42833551Applejack launched a fucking boulder and Bluefast beat her at an arm wrestle. Rainbow Dash could probably cart around one of the people from that 'My 500lb Life" show without breaking a sweat.
>>42833600>>42833551Yeah, well dash couldnt get her wing from under a boulder in her pet episode. They have their cartoonish highs and lows. I am just gonna keep it grounded for my greens and say that the skittle haired Pegasus cant fly with a 200 additional pounds.
>>42833529Lyra stole my computer.
>>42833650I’m sure you’ll get it back eventually, but all your pictures will have been replaced with horse asses.
>>42833131>Best way to incapacitate a unicorn rapist.There's a better way that doesn't end up with your hands covered in goo>>42823085
>she sends you pictures of random things asking if theyre your fetish
>You made a unicorn have a magicgasm??>Oh wow!>What a development!>I guess you're going to marry a unicorn?>Marry Flurry!>Or Twilight!>You can marry Twilight and get Shining AND me to stop bothering you!
>>42834073See that married couple over there Candy? I'm going to use my power to destroy that marriage. It's fine though since it's a unicorn right?
>>42834139
>>42834174Your books are on fire.
>>42834324I also peed in the sink.
Whats y’all’s usual plan for dealing with a Pegasus rapist?
>>42834648While wing limbs are usually strong, they are still vulnerable. Twisting that joint hurts. Each feather still have blood vessels that feed them so plunking one will cause a pegasus to flinch. Like a sharp pinch which I'd imagine would still sting for a little bit.
>>42834656What if I don’t actually hate them or want to hurt them badly?
>>42834648Usually I use a T-shirt cannon with newspapers for ammo, really good way to get rid of old newspapers.
>>42834667Are they actually trying to rape you then?
>>42834698Truly, innovative.>>42834718They are little colorful ponies, I don’t have the heart to really hurt them. Plus, I barely have rights. One trip to jail and… well, you can guess what happens with that.
>>42834073>marry TwilightOk fine, jeez. But just so you know the only type of pizza served will be pineapple pizza.
>>42835146Anonymous, what are you doing? Is this a part of your plan?
>>42834073No, I never took the bait.See >>42833502Also Flurry Heart is still a kid. That'd be pretty fucked up.
>>42835156I'll be crashing this wedding with no survivors.
>>42835272Noble.
>>42835224Works for the moon. All the moon does is reflect the sun.
>>42834648Point-Defense Anti-Air Batteries.
>>42834648Pellet guns usually seem to work pretty well on birds.
>>42835565>>42835550Hm, I wonder if I can make a magic sensing net shooter for my roof… Thanks anons.
>>42835492>Plapping herself on a model of anon’s dick made from the measurements of him she took this one time.
>>42835769Her friends ask for replicas. Fluttershy has several.
>>42836177She is trying to ass charge you.
>>42836005Woukd Fluttershy use them to worship you? Or save herself to do the act with you for the first time instead?
I Had an amazing idea for a green! I just need a bat pony character. (I don’t know much). Any bats thirsting over anon?
>>42836252She's been trying and failing to get you to plug her for years now. If there was an opportunity to simulate the real deal I don't think she'd wait around.
>>42836261Probably Lucky Roll
>>42836262True true.
>>42836263Oh fuck. I forgot about her. You are absolutely right.
>>42836263That could be good
>>42836250What happens if you give in?
>>42836465To what?
>>42836465Be like sticking your dick in a wall outlet.
>>42836638True. Get this man a true.
>>42836263Nolegs.
GO AWAY PAGE 7! WE HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW!
>>42837143What's got you worried veggie prince?
Bump.
>page 10
Why is Fluttershy sexually attracted to humans again?
>>42838052anon is in a coma and this is his nightmare as he tries to keep his wizard powers and the demon tries to take it away
>Day you ate a fat turkey in Equestria.>No Thanksgiving in Equestria.>They do have buffalo as an analogue.>Kind of weird.>Right, you're prepping a classic American meal.>Sorry, you ain't some Eurotrash Anon.>Maybe next time.>Pudding, pie, peach sweat tea.>Ah yeah.>Pecan Pie was tricky to make, ponies started asking question.>Pinkie was asking questions is more accurate.>Hopefully you were able to throw her off.>Is cake indulgent when you have pie?>Naw.>Can't do this without mashed potatoes.>Get some good gravy for it.>Cornbread!>This is some good stuff with melted butter to really make your mouth water.>Corn, green beans, and carrots.>This takes a long to prep, but hell this is worth it.>A smile creases your face, it's tired, but a heck of effort.>With a sigh, you sit down at your meal.>As soon as you get a ladle to scoop some food, there's a knock at your door.>Opening the door, you see the most annoying ponies."What!?">"Oh Anon, is the party ready?""No.">Celestia sniffs the air.>The cake hunter.>"Now Anon you can't hide your efforts from me.">Pinkie bounces past you.>"Or me! I know the type of flower you were buying!">A few moments later the entire cast is sitting at your table.>They're all chatty.>Fluttershy looks proudly at you.>"You would make a great husband. Made all of this food.">All the ponies agree."Fine. Whatever, you all will get to enjoy my hard work.">"Anon, after this you're going to be conscripted into being a husband. Your talents will not be going to waste.">Dash is drooling over the food.>"Now start serving.">Ever impatient, Pinkie grabs the lid off the largest item on the table.>The pauses when she realizes what she just revealed.>A turkey."Now come on now girls, you wanted in on this.">Uncover a few more dishes.>Ham, chicken, stuffed turkey, and goat.>Take out several large carving knives.>They all look green and try to flee.>Dash tries to crash threw the window, but bounces off.>Applejack tries the door, but you have it secured and locked tight.>Twilight tries to teleport, but can't leave.>Celestia tries to blast her way out, but the spell dies."Now girls, after working so hard to prepare and slaughter the food, this isn't the way to be thankful. I made sure no pony could escape.">Luna screams as you slice into the pig and drop it in front of her plate.>Pinkie is crying and hugging Rarity.>Fluttershy is hyperventilating over the chicken.>Honestly you think your deviled-eggs is what you mess up the worst over.>You'd think they'll be more upset over that failure."Now who wants the blood pudding or the mead pie?"
>>42838186Meat eater anon wins again.
>>42838186>"I'll help with all that meat, baby~."
>>42838281She hates normal food. She be even more repulsed.
>>42838295She didn't mean the food. Shes gonna >rape.
>>42838297Never caramelized bug before, no one's going to miss you so I won't miss this opportunity.
>>42837143Nice Eris blocking there, dude...Unfortunately, we're back on Page 7.
>>42838470FUCK YOU ERIS!>>42838468 blocked your noodley ass!
>>42838477No, no, it's fine.>>42838470I've been waiting for her. So many dark meats.
>>42838236It's all for dinner.
Rolled 76 (1d100)I cannot be raped
>>42838768That's what (You) think.(((chaos magic)))
>>42838186>You stand before the royal throne.>The Princesses are pissed.>"You ate meat, you made us eat meat.""It was pretty good huh.">Luna shouts her usual volume.>"Silence!">Celestia doesn't make any action to calm her sister down.>"Anon that was the most psychotic thing you ever done.">You look over to Fluttershy, she's mostly upset."Maybe top ten given past shenanigans. Really stretching it.">"How long have you been setting this monstrous thing.">Give a half shrug in your overdone chains."Why are you blaming me? This is something you all allowed.">Luna spits insults at you."It is. First of all, the defenses that preventing you all from leaving dinner was a decade long nonsense of rebuilding my home. Things you approved 'cause you wanted to keep me safe.">Dash's attempts to remodel have been devastating."Besides, I think I cooked pretty good.">"You knew we would be there.""I always allowed you all to walk away. Tried to sneaky and not invite anyone, but you couldn't help yourself.">Celestia's eyes flicker with fire.>"Blaming the victims is certainly an idea.">Kind of like saying the rape victim had it coming."Besides I only cooked animals. I've been living this vegan lifestyle for along time. If anything, I'm the victim for being forced into this lifestyle.">"Henrietta was a good chicken!">Fluttershy shouts out."And she stopped laying eggs. Did you think I bought her from you from the kindness of my heart?">A guard bursts from the room.>She's breathing hard.>"Your highness, we've found more evidence.">"Tell me now.">"Chrysalis and Eris.">Them, right.>"Anon, you didn't.">That wasn't a question."What? They were a problem, and I took care of it. Let me tell you, Eris was a really tricky one to cook. Really chaotic under the skin. I actually had to descale her like a fish. Fur being descaled is really strange.">Twilight's jaw hadn't left the floor for a while finally recovered.>"Anon. They're talking thinking individuals.""Not really. One is a parasite pretending to be a pony, and the other is an abomination against creation.">"What makes them different from you or me. Have you killed and eaten a pony!?">They all lean in for your answer.>Honestly, you're hurt by the accusation."Don't be crazy. Ponies are people. Don't eat people.">Celestia's single eyebrow raises.>"People? What's the difference?""You know. Like us.">"Elaborate.""Ponies, like humans, wear hats.">The silence is like a pregnant pause.>No wait, it is a pregnant pause.>Fluttershy wishes she was this pregnant.>"That makes sense.""Thank you, Pinkie.">Twilight disagrees like always.>Classic."Fine. People people. One's that are capable of thinking like the good Lord intended wear hats. Only a person would recognize the majesty of a hat and willingly put it on their head. I knew ponies were people when I met Celestia, and then saw other common ponies willingly wear hats.">Casually you take off your chains and bring out a white board.
>>42838915"Changelings, like I said, are parasites. They pretend to be their prey to best get close to them. They're not real people. Changelings will only wear a hat if that pony that steal their identity wears a hat. They don't understand hats.">Mare guard gives Celestia a sheet.>"Caramelized? You turned Chrysalis into candy.""Bug isn't a normal meal, I had to be clever.">"So Eris then.""So chaos abominations against creation are not people. Not only do they not wear hats they make fun of real people that wear hats. Deplorable really.">Celestia sighs as she pinches the bridge of her nose.>Kind of funny to watch a horse do that with her hooves.>"You promise you never murdered and ate a pony?""I will never eat a pony.">"I would know, I've been trying forever.">Shut up Fluttershy."So can I go home now?">Luna glares at you.>"Tartarus is the only place you deserve to be.">Rude.>Then again, maybe you can cook new stuff there.>Wonder if centaur taste good.>"Luna that would make it impossible to sex him.""Oh come on, that is still a thing?">"Honestly, you being dangerous meat ravaging monster makes you hotter.""Monster!? I explained by position very well. Besides, you ate the mead pie.">"I thought mead was a fruit, I didn't know you could make meat into a pie.""Ponies are such drama queens.">"Question.">Twilight raises her hoof.>"How is it possible to cook Eris?""Either remove the magic element, which I recommend since chaos magic smells and taste terrible. Which can be done with magic removing amulets. Smoking with harmony charcoal works good too.">She writes it down in her notes.>Celestia smacks a gavel on her throne.>"Order. I have made a decision. Guilty.""Bullshit.">"Community service. In a maid outfit, serving me.">Fucking Celestia.
>>42838768A good roll, but what does it do?
>>42839003Amazing. Good thing maid uniforms are much more modern these days.
>>42838915>Wouldn't eat pony flesh or cannibalize a human for Thanksgiving dinnerPussy. Where's your sense of adventure?
>>42839003>You're an odd fellow, Anonymous, but you steam a mean ham>The End
>>42838915>TF2anonbasado
>>42838915Hopefully Anon forcefed some of Henrietta to Flutters. Really rub salt in the wound.
>>42839003This is why none of them are the one. They can’t handle a little meat.
>8Something something. Eris is gonna suck yo dick. Blah blah, I pulled us outtta that sitch, choombas.
>>42838915>>42839711Nah Eris is finally dead. Good riddance
>>42839815We saw discord get incinerated before. I am sure Eris can recover from the last green…
>>42839815>"Bitch, please."
>>42839821Don't make excuses to invite her back, what the hell is wrong with you?!>>42838186>Peach sweet teaSoutherner detected
>>42839918Oh, you're back. Good thing I know how to descale draconequus flesh and banish chaos magic now, I was starting to get hungry again.
>>42839920Only a southerner would make a spread that excessive. He knew the ponies were going to barge in so we showed his best hospitality.
>Darkness falls.>The glow and crackle of burning buildings surrounds you.>All about you confused and defeated ponies run to and fro, a screaming chorus of defeat, fear, and estrus.>Ponyville is reduced to ruin. The defeat of Equestria is imminent.>After reading about the mysterious "humans" from beyond the veil, Princess Cadance foolishly decided that they should invade this "Earth" and conquer humanity to be MARED.>Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Twilight Sparkle, and Shining Armor made sure that Equestria's army was dressed to the nines for this war of subjugation.>Magic, check>Weapons, check.>Armor. check.>Potions, check.>Poison joke, check.>Crystal Heart, check.>Alicorn Amulet, check.>Elements of Harmony, check.>They weren't taking any chances on this war, they would give the whole nine yards.>One country after another they would conquer Earth and take the humans as breeding slaves to be MARED.>Ponies were faster and stronger than humans, they wagered.>Plus they had magic and flight.>The only aspect where human stamina outperformed ponies was during mating, and that's what they were there after.>The humies would easily crumple over against the formidable Equestrian invasion force.>So they thought.>Little did they anticipate the connection portal would open up to one of the most Darwinian shitholes in Earth history.>War, famine, and plague had ravaged this landscape for ages.>The passage of time did little to tame the savagery of the humans who inhabited this domain, if anything they became even worse.>A truly desolate and inhospitable wasteland, except to those native there.>The scum of the entire human race made this hellscape their home.>And they were the first line of resistance to the Equestrian pony armies that sallied forth to conquer Earth.>Also the last.>Truly the realm of the most savagely insane and evil humans to ever grace the planet.>Florida.>Meth addicts, swamp dwellers, alligator rapists, bad drivers, golfers, retirees.>Equestria's military cohort was driven back in shambles to their world.>Fear and confusion gripped the ponies even further when they witnessed "Florida man tries snorting friendship dust to see if it will make him high" on the news.>As word spread across the rest of the USA, the Floridians were reinforced by conscripted units from across the country.>After word reached national news it was only a matter of time before a computer programming wizard managed to hack Equestria's magical communications network>For spamming Celestia's letters with anti-pony slurs, of course.>You gaze upward, filled with American(and human) pride.>Once again, war was the country's greatest export.>You feel a hoof paw at your side.>"Umm, Anon, so I know my side lost the war, but, now that we're together, I thought we could, umm, you know...">You glare down at Yellowrat."Shouldn't you be hanging from a noose right now?">She grins up at you smugly.>"Pegasi can fly, silly.">Fucking peggers.
>>42840070Hey, they came just in time for Mare Fair.
>>42840070> https://youtube.com/shorts/bkW-6f-_UZQ
Pinkie Pie will punish (You) with her butt.
>>42840070They hollow bones, much harder to hang.
>>42840487And they hunt in packs.Be wary.
POUNCE!
There is already a board for this thread >>>/trash/
>>42840845Where this entire board belongs, to be honest.
