Frequent Flyer EditionPrevious thread: >>42960644IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiEActive list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERXMaster list (new and improved!): https://ponepaste.org/11293Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7gStories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY>rope's HD remastered thread archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0>If a pastebin link is broken you can copy the string at the end of the url of a poneb.in link so pastebin.com/mVG33ERX becomes https://poneb.in/mVG33ERX>PiE Corner>Remember to tag all PiE Stories.PiE Author List: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNyPiE image archives: http://derpy.me/PiE_PicturesBrowser Pony Author List: http://pastebin.com/ZCGjtftk
>>43017268beautiful picture
If not Soarin', then Anon
Bumped off in less than 3 hours. Sliding must have been crazy this morning.
>>43017288>Anon has many ideas for teaching Scoots how to fly>"What I am about to do has not been approved by the Ponican."
That's a lot of deleted posts.
>>43015052>check ponerpics for image>oc:dawnremember satyrs?
>>43018440Owwwwww. You're getting banned.
>>43018605satyrs are not b&nthro ^:)
>>43018621It's a distinction without a difference. But, HRT messes up your brain, so the janitors allow it.
>>43018749>It's a distinction without a differenceb&thros are furries with pony headssatyrs are a proper mix of humans and ponies >But, HRT messes up your brain, so the janitors allow it.satyr's been allowed since the very beginning
>>43018749It's generally not considered anthro if there isn't an animal face.
>>43017272Rat always does good work, I’m glad they weren’t murdered
>>43018825That was not Rat that was Vondsketch you silly old goose
>Anon discovers that quirks in equine short-term memory can be exploited for amusement
Ponywrath is easily neutralized, allowing more shenanigans per hour than other races.
>>43019726I'm sorry for your low quality education, anon.Nobody deserves that.
>>43019709Don't listen to that other guy, he's AI-generated.
>>43018840>he
>>43017288Anon with eyes is disturbing.
>>43020471For some reason, I don't mind it even though it feels like one of those things that's so bizarre that you can't look away from it
>>43020471Both can be disturbing, but only situationally so.
>>43017288Checked but also this is one of the most beautiful, soulful pieces I've ever seen. Discounting anon with eyes, because, yes, a little strange, goodness. Every inch is just brimming with life. It feels like I'm there, almost, like I'm some wide-eyed chap from 1897 at one of them moving pictures. Who made this? It doesn't have a name on it.
>>43020785I almost want to commission them for an oil painting. Goodness, if I had about 500 bucks to blow right now.
>>43020785I just have so much to say about it. Even beyond the fact that it's pony, and it's cute, the characterization, the stylization, everything just makes it look so beautiful. I should get this printed and hung up on my wall.
>>43021138Watch me you fat bitch.
>>43020793Work that corner baby
>>43022172I thought Pinkie had hands.
>>43022312She's a sleep paralysis demon. She could have them.
>>43022636
>>43022312>No hooves
>>43023140Are you implying she has feet?
>>43020939Cute bat
>>43020785Write something about it
>>43023767true
>>43017288nice dubs, lovely imagealso, I have no idea why folks find the anon strange, I know several people with very similar faces to the pictured guy
>>43024511i don't have much problem with it, but for others it's because anon usually doesn't have eyes
>>43019024>humans and ponies have, of all things, a symbiotic relationship for fitness activity>each allows the other to readily do something that would otherwise require extensive equipment>mareathons will never be the same again
>>43025082Celestia has failed us
>>43018440i love satyrs>>43018605>>43018749retard.
I wonder how many mundane things that Anon does ponies would find completely novel because he uses hands.
>>43018440I remember that BROWN BATYR SLUT YUZU VHHHHHH MY DICK
>>43025786>spoilerbased
>>43025374what's new
>>43025783Anon introduces monies to masturbation when
>>43026214Whys that gotta matter anon
>>43026214Where can I read the rest of these?
>>43025783I love this comic so much
>>43026102>moniesdoes mony mony mony?
>>43025783hoof havers in awe of basic hand eye coordination
>>43025783>>43027776jej
>>43027776I wonder how long it would take, with anon showing up and using all these things that were clearly meant for hands, before some ponies really looked at the objects for the first time and it clicked that they were made for such manipulation. Twilight suddenly has a dozen string boards of conspiracies, running everywhere from "humans are the ancients" to "humans rule the world from the shadows" to "the princesses have a human fetish".
=Flanking Maneuvers Episode 21= "Is my tie on straight?">You hear her groan ahead of you and look back.>"I told you on the train, your tie is fine! Stop messing with it!">No. It had to be right.>You go against her wishes and fiddle with your tie some more, intent on getting it just a -bit- more straight."Dash, cut me some slack here! It's a big day and I've got a big part to play! I have to look my best.">Rainbow Dash brings a hoof to her face and shakes her head. "Anon, you've been fretting about this for days! You know he didn't even -invite- us to the first one, right?">You wince and think back."It...wasn't really a planned event then.">Yeah, she'd buy that.>"Bull.">Ohfuckshesnotbuyingit."Come on Dash! You know how little he plans stuff!">"Can't hurt to start!" she says.>You cock an eyebrow and point around at the dozen ponies standing around outside of the ceremonial hall mingling. This event was one that practically the entire city was taking a day for.>That lucky placates Dash. "I don't even think the royal wedding had this much pomp thrown at it..." she says looking about."Well...this is a bit bigger than the royal wedding, Dash.">Dash smirks. "Think we'll have another Changeling attack?""Not if Mous's letters are true...">Seriously? Shitting in them? He's nothing if not unique...>You look at your watch, a little past 10."Come on, we both have stuff we have to take care of before this starts.">Dash adjusts her dress and tiara and follows you. "Yeah yeah...">As the two of you enter into the hall, you pass a sign that lets everypony know what's going on here.>"Royal Wedding Vows Renewal Ceremony" it says.
>>43028323-Mous PoV->You've been staring into the mirror for the past minute."Is my tie on straight?">Anon looks over from his corner of the room. "No less straight than mine.">You grimace. "Because -that's- so helpful! What kind of best man are you?">Anon chuckles and walks over to you. "The kind of best man who's still annoyed that he only gets to see his bro get married the second time.""I thought I told you that I don't really plan things?">"Yeah well it can't hurt to start.">Fucking tie."Gah. You're, like, the worst best man ever.">"I blame you, you were a shit best man at my wedding.""Oh yeah, because I was only one of the primary reasons you two idiots got together in the first place.">"By kicking us out of the house for four days!""Hey! I had to watch my two horny bosses those four days so don't give me any lip!">Anon rolls his eyes and shakes his head."How are those two, anyway?">You get introspective at weddings.>"Good. Really good. The spa's doing well, something about a pickup in business after they told everyone that the new Prince used to work there.""Blasted Easterners using my good name to sell their wares.">"Aloe is still with Caramel and if memory serves Lotus met one of AJ's relatives at the last Apple Family Reunion.">You turn to him. "Wait, it's not the one with the hair, is it?">Anon taps his chin. "Come to think of it, I -do- remember some nice looking hair...">You throw your arms up."GAH! WHAT IS IT WITH EVERYONE I PEG FOR GAY ACTUALLY BEING STRAIGHT!?">Anon laughs at your misfortune. "Your Gaydar was always shit anyway.">You grumble and o back to your tie before Anon steps in.>"Oh let me.">As Anon fixes your piece of shit bow tie, you look yourself over in the mirror."I look like a polished turd...">"You always say that.""It's always true.">Anon laughs once. "...Nervous?">No."Kinda.">Anon finishes up and steps back. "Yeah, well, don't be. I'm sure Celestia feels the same way.""Suuuure she is, man. Sure she is."
>>43028326-Celestia PoV->By the stars you're nervous.>This blasted dress had more fabric on it than all the drapes in the castle combined."Luna, do I -really- have to wear this?">Your sister spins around in a chair behind you. "Of course, sister! Don't you want to look good for your wedding?">You magic a brush over to you and run it through your hair. That ought to help take your mind off how easy it would be to trip in this ridiculous dress."It's a renewal of vows, Luna, I'm already married.">Luna scowls and trots over to you. "Call it what you may, but this is the ceremony in which your people FINALLY get to see you at the altar! Like it or not this is your wedding, Celestia!">You groan."I still don't see why I need all this...I got married the first time without a dress just fine.">Luna rolls her eyes. "Because father came to this wedding only after much persuading by mother, I can't imagine how he'd react if he saw you without a dress.""It'd at least be entertaining...">"Tch. Now you sound like your husband.">You grin as you finish combing your mane. "Perhaps I shall endeavor to do that more, then!">Luna titters. "I doubt the kingdom would survive two of him."You have that right, sister...">A silent moment passes between the two of you.>"Are you nervous?" Luna asks.>You sigh and flare a wing. "Only that this dress will catch on every possible snare on the way down the aisle.">Luna trots to the door giggling. "Have faith, sister. I'm going to go prepare to conduct the ceremony, but I'll see you soon!">With that, Luna's out the door.>You look yourself over in the mirror and force a smile.>...You needed to get out.>You magic open the door to your room and call out. "Cadence, are you out there?">"I am Aunt Celestia! Do you need something?" comes a response."No! Just...letting you know that I'm going to go stretch my legs for a bit!">That would calm you down.
>>43028328-Mous PoV->You decided to take a walk, clear your head.>Mostly to get away from Anon, though.>He could tie a tie, sure, but he fucking strangulated you with it. God forbid he tries to tighten your belt and snaps your spine.>You walk through the calls of the chapel with your hands in your pockets, thinking about the day.>The big...big day.>Uhg. It was all so much easier when you just eloped. You didn't have to impress anyone.>You come up on a divider erected to ensure that the bride and groom wouldn't see one another before the ceremony. From the other side of it, you can hear a distinctive *tink tink tink*."I'd know those golden horseshoes anywhere.">They don't even jump in surprise. "Ah...hello dear." Celestia says from beyond the veil. "It would make sense that we'd run into each other here.""Yeah...just our luck, huh?">"Mmm.">You place your hand on the divider and lean into it."Anon practically choked me with my tie.">"Luna wants me to wear some ridiculous dress." "I can't WAIT to see the glare your dad will give me when I walk out there.">"And I can only imagine Twilight's reaction...">The two of you sigh."Makes one long for the days of Las Pegasus.">"If only just to get away from it.">You lean back against the divider and sit down."Still, good to see we're keeping with tradition.">"Hmm?""Our first time was over a bet and this time is to piss off your dad. It's good to see we still aren't doing things for the right reasons.">Celly chuckles and a long moment passes."Still...this is what you want to do...right?">You hear Celestia shuffle on her end. "Is it what you want to do...?">You mull that question over and twiddle your fingers. A year or two ago you'd be avoiding this like the plague but here you are in a ceremony that was YOUR idea."...Yeah, guess I do. How things change, eh?">Celly chuckles. "They do indeed..."
>>43028330>You stand at the altar with your hands behind your back waiting.>Anon's behind you, Cadence and Twilight are on the opposing side as Mares of Honor.>King Cosmos is trying to bore a hole in your head from his seat in the pews.>Everything was going as planned.>You look over your shoulder."Keeping an eye out for Cheeselegs?">"I think we'd smell her before she showed after what you pulled." Anon says.>Oh yeah. The Poop-Bugs."It's a gift.">Luna trots through the altar in a dress of her own, a bit less flashy than Celly's supposed dress and takes her place at the altar. "Are you ready, Mous?" she asks."Ready as I'll ever be...">Anon taps his chin. "This all seems incredibly familiar...""It's probably just a stroke. Do you smell toast?">"It would be impolite of me to flip you off at your wedding.">You stifle a laugh and look to the pianist."Asshole better have gotten my revised music...">Anon groans. "Don't tell me you did more Star Wars.""First off, fuck you Star Wars is awesome. Second off, no I did not.">"So what is it THIS time, Meastro?">You rub the back of your head."Well, you see when we first really met I play-">The doors at the end of the chapel swing open.>GAHFUCKITWASTIME."Youllfindoutinasecond!">You wave the pianist on.
>>43028332>Celestia slowly walks down the aisle, her dress billowing behind her. Holy shit, it was frilly as hell.>The sun seems to shine brighter through the windows at her entrance, something you're sure she had a hand in.>Everyone stays silent as their princess performs her wedding march, everyone save a sniffling Queen Galaxia. To your surprise, Cosmos even had a grin on his face.>Celestia is followed by those creepy blonde quadruplets you had seen around the castle here and there, each with Celestia's banner on their backs and throwing flower petals.>They all spoke at the same time and did the same things, it was fucking creepy.>Celestia takes her place on the altar next to you and mouths "Hey you." underneath the veil.>You mouth it back.>"Gathered friends..." Luan begins. "We are gathered here today to both renew and celebrate the wedding vows these two have shared. While their original wedding was one of...contention to some, we come together here today to do things properly!">Yeah, screw you too, Luna.>"The couple has said that their vows were lost in the haste in which they were first read, so they have each made their own.">IE: You BS'ed your vows in LP and needed to make new ones from scratch.>Celly turns to you. "Mous...You've bothered and bugged me from the moment we met. Our first...intimate moments were the result of a gross invasion of privacy and it shocks me to no end that you continued to entertain my calls after that.">You roll your eyes.>"But...I'm very glad you did." Celestia says with a smile. "You've always been entertaining and I find myself not falling into...past vices when I'm with you. For making me a better mare, I vow to continue to be the wife you deserve from now till the end of my days.""So a shitty one?">Celestia winks. "What you deserve, dear~"
>>43028333>You rub the back of your head."Celly...You were the biggest slut I'd ever met when I first came here. I mean the first thing I ever saw you talking about was how you were gonna bone a guard later that night and ten minutes after that you said you wanted to shove a banana up my ass, something I'm glad I was able to pay you back for.">The crows shifts audibly, but fuck them you were a Prince now."Those first "intimate moments" were the closest I'd ever come to sexual assault in all my time here and I mostly kept coming back for fear that I'd get shot to the moon if I didn't.">You shrug."But...I can't say this has been all bad. You were cool enough before we got married and despite the often annoyances, you're cool enough after that as well. I vow the same, to be the husband you deserve till the end of my days, expect a turd in your closet tomorrow.">Anon snickers behind you.>Luna nods. "Be there any in attendance today who have any reason these two should NOT be re-wed?">Literally everyone turns and looks at Sombra and Discord in the back row.>"...What!?" Discord shouts. "I did my time! Do what you want!">Sombra raises a hoof. "I actually ha-">Discord snaps a finger and zips Sombra's mouth shut before waving you both on.>"Good enough for me." Luna says. "May we have the rings?"'>Blueblood levitates the rings over to the two of you and bows.>You take one ring off and slide it down Celestia's horn, almost sure you here an "Unf" come from under the veil.>Before you put on your own ring, you pause and look to the crowd."It's going on my FINGER this time." you say.>A few chuckles come from the crowd as you both turn back to Luna.>"By the power vested in my as a Princess of Equestria, I now re-pronounce you Man and Wife, you may kiss the bride!">You flip Celly's veil up and puck up before reeling back."Did you not brush your teeth todaMMMFF!"
>>43028335>You pull away from Celestia and catch her grinning.>Over the applause and cheers you say "Jesus! Less tongue, woman!">Luna and Anon both pat you on the back and congratulate you.>"Sister! You simply must go out onto the stairs and greet the public!">You groan."Can't they just catch it on video?">Celly sighs. "Come along dear, the masses are waiting!">You grumble and follow along out of the chapel. "Not like we're any more married than we were yesterday...">You didn't even get a stag.>The guards open the doors to an absolute FLOOD of noise.>For as far as you could see down the street, ponies were lined up. Snapping pictures, waving, holding up babies."Is it always like this?">"Whenever there's a big wedding, yes.""We should outlaw those.>"You just hate it when people have fun, don't you?""They're not having fun correctly, it's false-fun.">The two of you stand there smiling and waving to the crowd, just like you practiced."I feel like a sigh for a hotel...">Over the din of the crowd a chant rises up. "KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!" they cry.>You slide closer to Celly."They apparently want us to kiss.">"Oh, is my breath somehow better~?">You cup her chin."Maybe the smell of old cum has grown on me?">Celly chuckles and nuzzles your face with hers. "I love you, Mous...">You laugh once."Don't spoil the mood, Celly.">The crowd erupts into newfound cheer as you pull your lips together.This was technically the last "chapter" I wrote but I made a bunch of extras so, you know, see you next time I guess.
>>43026651
>>43027998jej I would read a green or a fic with this concept
>>43028430Write it
>>43029076I can't write anything good
>>43029085Mood.
>>43029085Neither can anyone here!*rimshot*For real though the only improvement is from repetition
>>43028337Okay thank you
>>43028337Cool stuff. But why is your name "Mandroid"? Android already implies man.
>>43029778Because it sounds cool?
>>43028430Mustache
>>43029870Don’t be a cuck anon, Equestria doesn’t use fiat currency
>>43030778
>>43030975>nestleIt's shit.
>>43031004>Anon introduces fiat chocolate>it's all carob
>>43031004fillies don't care
>>43029085It doesn’t have to be good to exist
literally me
>>43032410How would Carl from ATHF fair in equestria?
>>43032657>Big Mac’s sloppy seconds
>>43032857>
>>43032435That's clearly Homer, look at his face.
>>43032435He'd either fuck off from them and stink up his house or try to exploit them like the Garage Zeebles. No, it doesn't matter that ponies have been in power a big long time.
>>43033803>>43034048god i love cadance
>>43034249I'd let this happen to me
>>43034274me too
>>43034166Move your steed but also hang him afterwards in this brand new all in one
>>43034723Enjoying your sliding anon?
>>43034077>>43035024i miss this artist. come back to us, anon
>>43035325you can always try remaking the yandere thread
>>43034077Said no one ever
>>43035796Can't hear you over the sound of my pink wife kissing me
>>43034048Why doesn't she do it?
>>43036243>one of these will be the ticket>open folder>its all pictures of her
9
>>43037144Just throw some bottles at her and tell her to play freebird
>>43020785This piece was created by Redruin01. His art is truly wonderful
>anon in ponerquestria dream>weird cryptid who looks like widow from silksong appears one day and starts stealing clothes to harvest their threads for some reason>i tell poners "i must destroy this monster before she steals all my clothes">"but anon they're just clothes, why would it matter?"
>>43038500
>>43038500he doesn't look so good
>>43035325I’m sure they draw tf porn or something now
Everybody talks about Anonymous in Equestria.But nobody talks about Equestria in Anonymous.
>>43039917Sir this isn't the vore thread
>>43039922Oh, that's...that's not what I mean by that.
>>43039917No we've had some femanon greens.
>>43040356Are there any good femanon stories that aren't memes or short oneshots?
>>43039917good
>>43040408Why would there be?
The closest things I were thinking were>"the ponies are all tiny and inside Anon's body, crawling around between his bones and organs"or>"Equestria is just a complete imaginary fabrication inside Anon's head (that's a depression cope fantasy or something)"
>>43041074>pones at work
>>43040408Ask yourself, are there good women?
>>43041074Osmosis Pones
Can you recommend me your favorite long AiE greens? Like, fanfic length, preferably 20k+ words.
First attempt at making an AiE story that's not Anonfilly.Anon is an Overqualified Therapist in Equestria:https://ponepaste.org/11762
>>43040408If you'd like a non-faggot answer, I enjoyed Theseus' And Everything Nice:https://poneb.in/e0tNce90It's a complete story, 10 parts plus an epilogue.
>>43041951Needs more Anom
>>43042337i don't see him a lot these days
>>43042444Have we seen him a lot, ever?
>>43042337>>43042476Is he related to nona?Yeah, I know it's a filly version I couldn't find good pic of him atm.
>>43042490He might be, he's like anon's more evil twin
Things would be different in Equestria
>>43042507Hmm interesting. Nona's gimmick was that he was anon but opposite like completely. He got a family, he was not autistic or retarded and doesn't lust over cartoon horses all the time. On the side note could be fun to make a new /aie/ comic thread.
Is this what /aie/ guys listen to everyday with a straight face https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mGsQAqeqSQ
>>43042689No this is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Zyt2xlLf-E
>>43042689Unironically this is pretty kino. Thanks for sharing anon.
my anon doodles from the past week or so
>>43042516>>43042832kino
>>43042476maybe by technicality
>>43042142Bumping this. Come on, any oldfags here? I wanna read some good green
>>43042219You sit behind a desk that used to belong to somepony’s great-aunt, carved from applewood that still smells faintly of cider years later. The office is small: two chairs facing each other, a low table between you with nothing on it but a single box of tissues, and a half-dead fern Twilight insisted would “promote calm energy.” It doesn’t. The fern is dying in silent protest.Your door reads DR. A. NONYMOUS in block letters you painted yourself. Underneath, in smaller script: Relationship Counseling – No Magic Allowed. That last part keeps the unicorns from trying love spells mid-session. You’ve seen what happens when they do.The bell above the door jingles. Lyra Heartstrings walks in, ears flat, tail dragging like wet rope. She doesn’t sit right away. She paces once, twice, then drops into the chair opposite you with a huff that sends dust motes spinning.“Hayseeds,” she mutters. “I’m here. Happy now?”You lean back. “You booked the appointment, Lyra. I’m just the guy who showed up.”She snorts. “Bon Bon says I’m ‘avoidant.’ Says I turn everything into a joke when it gets real. Which—okay, maybe. But she’s the one who keeps bringing up moving to Canterlot. Canterlot! Where everypony wears tiny hats, wears clothes, and talks like they swallowed a dictionary.”You nod once. No notebook. You never take notes anymore; ponies notice and clam up faster than you can say confidentiality.“She wants the city life,” you say, level, not judging. “Fancy shops, concerts, and instead you want…?”“Ponyville.” Lyra’s voice cracks on the word. “I want the stupid market where old mares haggle over carrots and the air smells like hay and fresh bread. I want our little house with the creaky porch and the window that sticks unless you kick it just right.” She looks at her hooves. “I want her to stop acting like staying here means I’m holding her back.”Silence stretches, and you let it. In the human world you’d already be reaching for DSM buzzwords: attachment styles, fear of abandonment, codependency. Here the stakes feel smaller, softer. Nopony’s getting stabbed over custody or dodging eviction notices. Instead it's just two mares who love each other and can’t agree on where home should be.Lyra finally meets your eyes. “You ever feel like… like you’re the only one who gets how much it hurts to picture life without the little things?”
>>43043562You exhale through your nose. “Every damn day since I landed here.”She blinks. Then laughs, short, surprised, and almost guilty. “Buck. Right. The alien therapist. Forgot for a second.”“You didn’t forget.” You tilt your head. “You just didn’t want to say it out loud. Because if you admit I might understand loneliness, then maybe Bon Bon’s loneliness looks different too.”Lyra’s ears flick, then she picks at a loose thread on the chair arm. “She says I’m selfish for not wanting to try the city. I say she’s selfish for wanting to drag me somewhere I’ll hate. We’re both right. And we’re both miserable.”You wait three heartbeats. “What would happen if you told her exactly what you just told me? Word for word. No jokes. No deflections.”Lyra’s throat works. “She’d cry. Probably yell a little. Then I'm back to square one.”“Maybe,” you echo. “Or maybe she’d hear you for the first time in months.”Another long quiet. The fern droops another inch.“I don’t wanna lose her over a zip code,” Lyra whispers.“Then don’t.” Simple, brutal in its simplicity. “Go home tonight. Sit on that creaky porch. Hold her hoof. Tell her the truth hurts less when you wrap it in sarcasm. See what she does.”Lyra stands slowly. She looks smaller than when she walked in, like the weight of unsaid things finally shifted off her shoulders just enough to breathe.“Thanks,” she says at the door. “For… not laughing.”You shrug one shoulder. “I save the laughing for when ponies try to pay me in cupcakes.”She smirks, first real one today. “Next week?”“Same time. Bring Bon Bon if she’s ready.”Lyra nods once, sharp. The bell jingles behind her.You sit there a minute longer, staring at the dying fern. Outside, Ponyville keeps moving: colts chasing each other, mares gossiping over saddlebags full of produce, life so gentle it sometimes feels like a lie compared to everything you left behind.But the ache in your chest when Lyra said “lose her over a zip code” was real enough.You reach over, nudge the fern into a patch of sunlight it wasn’t getting before.Small fix in a world of tiny stakes.Still feels like the only kind of saving you’re qualified for anymore.
>>43043395Start with stuff like RT and pikeanon
>>43043562>a half-dead fern Twilight insisted would “promote calm energy.” It doesn’t. The fern is dying in silent protest. I love this little flourish. And it's Equestria, so the fern might even be doing that intentionally. Fucking magic bullshit.
Having trouble finding an AIE story I read a year or so ago about an anon that doesnt fit in ponyville and cant get home, he is treated like a retard by the general public and gets a job at the school as a janitor. He finds rune magic and its forbidden by celestia and hes sent to a prison.Does this one ring any bells for anyone?Any help is appreciated.
>>43044144That's ziggermare. It's alright.
>>43044152Thanks anon but thats not the one.
>>43044058you are fangasming over ChatGPT writing>>43044144you’re thinking of Obsession. You can find it on PonepastePart 1: https://ponepaste.org/2987Part 2: https://ponepaste.org/2988
>>43042832one more
>>43044237Absolute legend dude, thanks so much!
>>43044237>fangasmingI liked that bit, what's your problem?>chatgpt writingIs it?
>>43044276i am the spy
>>43045412Don be mad, he’s just more willing to blow his doners than you
>>43045943thats not what this thread is you midwit
does anyone else ever fixate on ponies finding you grievously injured and taking care of you afterwards, or am i just too far gone at this point
>>43046564u a weirdo
>>43046564not really
>>43046564no, but you do you, my weird brother in pony-pony-pony
>>43047923>[Resist Arrest]
>>43047923I don't get why so many artists prefer to use heart eyes instead of shiny eyes. Is it a lazy way to imply romantic or sexual interest?
>>43048382it's just what the slop machine shits out
>>43048382This isn't the first time it's happened so he pre-emptively fed her the conversation pie.
>>43047923WHOOP WHOOPTHATS THE SOUND OF THE PONICE
>>43049054*4channel, get it right libtard
>>43049326Why would Berry, of all ponies, keep anon locked-up in his(?) basement?
>>43049382She's forcing him to write greens, obviously
>>43049079Nice.
>>43049802no touching fillies on the rump anon
>>43050010Can’t tell if that’s Lunas eye or mouth
>>43043564absolute kino. Thank you anon>>43044237I have now gained a new fear. Though I doubt anyone has the bad faith to post anything written by an LLM outside of dedicated threads
>>43050666She looks like these dumb fishes
>>43043564put that fucking fern out of its miseryexecute it in front of Twilight
>>43051593>Quoth the pony >”No hooves.”
>>43051365>Anon being the judge for Applejack and Twilights' staring contest
If you came across some random alicorn who wasn’t any of the princesses you knew of, would you just go about your business as normal or would you instinctively bow or greet the alicorn as though you were in the presence of royalty?
>>43052297I'd shout "Fucking animation errors! Do your jobs better!" to the confusion of all nearby ponies.
>>43052304I’d certainly imagine some ponies being freaked out by this, thinking they’d be starting tension with some foreign monarch or Equestrian heir.
>>43052297I'd make a mental note of it but wouldn't interact given i some how have no idea who she is despite her alicorn status.
>>43051365pony ai stream?
>>43053048pony ai stream.
>>43052797>”Cool patrol coming through.”
>>43053834>”Go away”
>>43053648What’s the problem
>>43023767She's leading him to his execution
>>43034274Having the moon crash into you while you slept?
>>43054457He got her the same shirt.
>>43046564i hope one day you realize you don't need a life threatening reason for them to jump at the opportunity to be near you
>>43044237>you’re thinking of Obsession. You can find it on Ponepaste>Part 1: https://ponepaste.org/2987>Part 2: https://ponepaste.org/2988dear god i hate this fic it's litterally just ragebait to the maxlike it makes zero sense how fucking ragebaity it is and i know it's obnoxious for me to use the term so much but it's completely true, especially the whole celestia trying to reform anon thing, like why is she just throwing him through countless humiliation rituals, it's beyond out of character but even in the context of the story she's supposed to be reforming him, this achieves nothinggod i wish this got a rewrite from the ground up, but the whole plot doesn't work unless twilight is a complete retard who belittles anon the whole time
>>43055262lol
I don't visit these threads often, or read AiE greens for that matter. But i've dreamed about being Anonymous in Equestria this night.The dream starts with me leaving a mix between ponyville, a fort and manehattan, ponies giving me funny looks and i think carrot top really disliked me. So i walk around for a while on some random grassfields and eventually find a giant bird laying on the floor. The creature doesn't show resistance when i try to ride it, so that's what i did and fly to the horizon, where i find a giant house with a giant birdhouse. I land on the roof of the building and then jump from there to the birdhouse (it had multiple openings and was close enough). Inside the birdhouse there were eggs, and one of them hatched once i approached them, revealing what looked like a little chick. It thought i were his mother and i rid him, the flap of his wings being enough for slowing the fall. The giant bird then catched us mid-air on its back and wasn't very content with me about the extra passenger, possibly because of the extra weight. Anyway, we also saw some normal sized ducks flying around and a group of pegasi were one of them that was left behind by the group. Once the pegasi were done with the duck, he began to fall and the other ducks stopped to watch, but didn't help. We tried to catch him and by following his fall we came back to where i started, the hybrid dreamy pony city. At this point in my dream, the falling duck simply disappeared or maybe i just forgot about it. Anyway, when i landed the ponies were very mad at me for whatever reason, and then one of them said the princesses wants to see me. I saw a line of humans while i was going to the castle, which is weird because they weren't here before. I was excited about being called by the princesses and rushed right in. Inside the castle there were multiple catholic church like rooms with the usual church benchs and there were more humans sitting on these benchs. All middle aged humans for whatever reason. Once i finally reached the throne room, expecting to see the alicorn princesses, what i actually found was Celestia as a 70 years old human woman waiting for me on the side of her throne to talk about the problem and luna as a human woman in her 30s busy dealing with a line of ponies. Then i woke up.
>>43055653>giant wall of textEnter key, use it
>>43055684this is how dreams are meant to be told anon, big fat walls of text
>>43056119what a happy horse
>>43042689>>43042707These are pretty good but there's a lot of videos in her catalogue where it doesn't seem like she decided whether it's an EQG video or not. They talk about a high school setting but then slip in FIM stuff as well. Makes for a very unclear mental image.
>It's another sunny day in Ponyville>Probably>You've been stuck inside for the past week or so>Anon Y. Mous, resident human>Resident of the library, at any rate>You lucked out and after an incident involving a carelessly dropped banana peel and a flight of stairs, landed in your dream Afterlife:>Equestria!>Though clearly all those foalcon threads you tugged your meat over ensured that your destination wasn't quite perfect>For one, you didn't arrive early enough to slap Starswirl's spell out of Twilight's hooves and prevent Twilicorn>For two, you're not the only human in Equestria>Fucking far from it, chief>Though your compatriots seem more on the level of one of Fluttershy's critter friends than contemporaries>Fuckers can't even talk, mostly just stare at you with glassy eyes>That's a real low bar to clear, even the cows here can speak>Though technically speaking you can't either>Nothing wrong with your vocal chords, but the ponies just don't understand you>Fluttershy picks up the general gist at least>But otherwise it's just gibberish to them, and no one seems interested in trying to see if you're trying to converse or just making noise>As far as everyone's concerned you're just another yappy human who could probably use some discipline>And at first, you admit, the realization that your lot in life had been reduced to a pet was depressing>All those years in college, wasted>Your mom and dad, Incognito and Nondescript, God knows how they are>Or how they're taking it>But... shit, you're going to be honest>This ain't so bad>Beyond just being in Equestria in general>Circumstances led to you being taken in by Twilight Sparkle out of all ponies>Some real main character magnet shit going on there>"Rooming" with the Princess comes with some nice perks>For starters, Twilight and Spike are almost always out of the Library>Either off engaging with her friends, away on business, or trying to find a private spot in town to jerk his dragon dick off to Rarity since he doesn't have a proper room of his own>So you don't have to worry about acting like a 'normal' human>Secondly, even if you can't speak the language, you can read the books>Good luck figuring that shit out>But it does mean you have a literal library's worth of literature to pass the time with>Even if pony fiction is a bit too saccharine for your tastes>But that's fine>If the library fails to keep your attention, you have another option to entertain yourself with:
>>43057245>Namely, fucking with your roommates>It's almost sad how easy it is>One of them's a big purple pile of neuroses>The other's a smaller purple pile of nerves and burgeoning teenage hormones>The way they passive aggressively snipe at each other when you eat (or throw away some of) food that's clearly for one of them is a real treat>Twilight twitching when you deliberately put books in the wrong place according to the sorting system of the week she's cooked up>By this point you're pretty sure she's just bullshitting some of these systems to try and keep Spike's hands busy>(You aren't sure if she's just committed to the bit or actually autistic enough to be taking it seriously)>If all else fails though, you got old reliable on hand>It's taken some effort to train your face, but you manage to keep your expression completely neutral as you slap Twilight's cup right off the table as she's trying to read>"Anon! Come on!">The Twiggiest of Princesses grumbles as she uses her magic to siphon up her apple cider back into her mug, looks at it contemplatively,>And then lets out a sigh of defeat as she levitates it to the kitchen's sink, having just enough dignity to not drink floor-cider, even in the privacy of her own home>That gives her at least one up on Rainbow Dash>"Alright, I get it, just give me a minute to clean this up and we'll go for a walk, okay?">Fuck yes, you haven't seen the sun in way too long>Another victory in the life of Anonfield
>>43057822Don’t wear that apron queer
Bump.
>>43057923It's a gift from Dashie. She'd be pissed if he didn't wear it.
someone's bumping a bunch of slide threads, probably because this was on 9. get back up there.
>>43058451dwarf anon
>>43057245>Fuckers can't even talk, mostly just stare at you with glassy eyesWhen the horsepussy is just too good…
>>43058534i hate that this made me laugh
>>43058140The fuck you mean "You had Rarity help you make it?" Rarity doesn't know how to make jewelry, she's been missing for three weeks now, nobody knows where she is.Where is my wife? What the fuck did you do to her?
>>43058647cringe
>>43058647>"REMEMBER ME, ANON? WHEN I KILLED YOUR WIFE, I TALKED JUST LIKE THIIIIIIIIS!"
>In any relationship it's important to look out for one another>Showing that you're noticing when someone is in need is the most basic way of letting them know you care about them, after all>"Anon!!">So really, the fact that you've turned this walk into a frantic chase is just your way of noticing your purple princess could stand to burn some more calories is a way of showing you care>(You) are Anonymous, pet of Twilight Sparkle>That's a very literal term by the by, so don't get too excited>Unless heat season comes around and it turns out she shares more in common with white women than being voiced by one>Concerns for later though>For now though it's time to utilize all the Five 'D's>Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge>Roseluck and her sidekicks scream as you dive over their stall>But that and their subsequent fainting is just their natural state of being so you aren't too concerned>The market's still a bit crowded even this late in the afternoon so you're getting plenty of time to dip between startled ponies>Using their bodies as equine shields to keep Twilight from just nabbing you with her magic>The Princess is gasping for air audibly a few feet back, too worn out to simply overpower you in her current state>Honestly you're starting to think you might need to slow down just so she doesn't lose sight of you>It's not like you're actually trying to escape, after all>"I GOT THAT VARMINT, TWILIGH'!">Oh fuck>Scratch that, time to sprint>You had 1 in 3 odds but it looks like they weren't in your favor today>Applejack's running the family's stall today and she's caught wind of the situation>Big Mac's far too stoic to get involved and Applebloom's too small to be a threat (by herself anyway)>But the Element of Honesty won't hesitate to help out>Plus if (when) she catches you she's going to want to "wrassle">And the way her hooves travel south she's definitely a white woman spiritually>You're pretty sure you can't get married anymore>Either way, you can at least try and mitigate the damage, taking a sharp turn right away from the direction of the Applestall>Forcing Applejack to waste time vaulting over it in an effort to join the chase>Despite the distance the farmpony is in much better shape than your owner>She catches up way too quickly for your liking and lunges>Duck!>The Five 'D's come in clutch once again as you drop to your hands and knees, causing Applejack to soar right over head>That was fast too, she was definitely going to crush you>The farmpone subsequently crashes into another stall, getting herself stuck in the structure>You chuckle darkly to yourself at the sight and prepare to duck into a nearby alley>When your limbs find themselves uncooperative>And the familiar chime of magic rings in your ears as your body is lifted into the air>The aura surrounding you isn't Twilight's magenta>Though the soft blue is still very familiar
>>43058791>"Good effort darling, but I've got the little ruffian, don't you fret!">Rarity titters as she glides you over to her and Twilight>Twilight is looking pretty rough>Drenched in sweat, tongue lolling out of her mouth a bit>She takes a few deep breaths while Rarity dotes on you>Mostly teasing and calling you a 'crafty little rogue'>The good shit>When Twilight catches her breath the aura shifts from blue to magenta as she takes possession of you>She drapes you over her sweaty barrel, though she doesn't release you from her magic grip>She's learning, you absolutely would've bolted again once you got away from Rarity and Applejack otherwise>"Thank you, girls. I don't know what happened! He was so calm at the start of our walk but then he just bolted. I'm starting to think you were right about getting him a leash, Applejack.">Good luck with that shit, no strip of leather or cloth in the universe is keeping your ass down>Alicorn stink aside, this was a pretty rousing success, so long as she...>"All this running's worked up my appetite, though. How would you two like to go to the Hayburger? It's the least I can offer for your help.">Well shit>She's absolutely going to eat at least twice as many calories as she burnt chasing after you>It was a good effort though, Anonfield>You'll just have to give her the slip even harder next time
>>43058794This is pretty great! Give 'er hell, Sir Anon Y Mous.
>>43058794Really enjoying Anonfield, like the concept
>>43058794eating is one of Twilight's hobbies. i'm so hungry I could eat a horse>Rarity dotes on you>Mostly teasing and calling you a 'crafty little rogue'>The good shitgoddamn right
>>43057245>>43057247>>43058791>>43058794This is great, please continueI do wonder about Twilight's attitude towards her pet reading her books. How can she okay with that?I also remember one green with a premise where Anon couldn't speak, but could write for ponies. Would this work for our Petnonymous?
>>43058794This is nice, please make more.
>human pov in ponyland
>>43059834The face of an Anon that knows he's going to wake up tomorrow morning completely oatless
>>43059868And with dried horse slobber all over his hands
>>43059868That man has no oats to begin with.
>>43058451Oh are they back
>>43060126Then is he really a man?>"Now dangit Fluttershy, what did we tell you about bringing these weird critters into town? How many is it now, wandering around somewhere?">"I'm sorry Applejack, but it just followed me here. I was looking everywhere for Anon and couldn't find him, when this nice animal began walking with me."I'm right here, you two. I know you hear me talking.>"Don't worry, I'm sure he won't be any trouble, he's been very well-behaved!">sigh>the behavioral scientists back on Earth would have had a field day with this>cute as hell, but these little horses were like living parking meters or something>at first you thought they were just fucking with you, or even severely racist or something, but those thoughts died the more the entire town seemed committed to the bit day and night>might as well get this over with>"Fluttershy, it's headed into Anon's house! What did I tell you about keeping an eye on it!">"Oh no Mr...um... I'm sorry I don't know what you are, you should just go into people's homes like that, please wait!">you locate the sack of oats by the door, quickly stuffing handfuls into your pockets, then turn around and walk back out>"OH! Anon! Hello there, I'm so sorry but one of my forest friends just went into-"It's ok Fluttershy, he's already heading home. Don't worry about it.>"Ahnon, I know you like to go out of your way to be neighborly, but I really think you should let me bring you some rope to keep at hoof. There's limits to these things!"...>"Say uh... are those oats I smell? I hate to bother ya, but I'm a bit peckish and missed breakfast today to deal with some problems at first light."
>>43060325You quote like a whore.
>In retrospect, taking Twilight on a whirlwind chase across Ponyville may have been a bad idea>Not for the act itself of course, Twiggy desperately needs the cardio, but she's definitely got a hair up her plot over it>She's been holed up in the Library for several days now, and yeah, that's typical>But less typical is the fact that she's solely been focused on (You) the entire time instead of studying and hosting sleepovers and shit>((You) being her pet human of course, but you knew that already)>Twilight is unsurprisingly miffed and putting way too much effort into trying to come up with ways to make you behave>She's littered the main floor of the Library with charts and graphs>Which, even with your ability to read the language, you can't really make heads or tails of>Both in terms of her writing growing increasingly illegible and from her ideas just plain being retarded>As far as she knows you can't read, so why the hell would you want one as a reward for not slapping her mugs off of surfaces for a week?>Besides, that's like, your favorite thing next to eating one of Spikes gem-encrusted muffins and spitting out all the gems in the trash>Either way, this is starting to chafe a bit>You don't normally have to keep up the 'normal half-sentient half-dumb-as-a-rock native human' act much due to Twilight and Spike having such busy lives>And despite how much they like to pretend there's no way in Hell they actually understand that owl, you're pretty sure he's tried to rat you out before to no avail>You've entertained the idea before of trying to communicate with the Ponies in writing>You understand and can read the words, after all, so even if it takes some time you're pretty sure you could figure out how to scrawl them yourself>That idea at the time got shot down because you figured if the equine populace at large figured you were sapient they might try and figure out why that is by any means necessary>That idea didn't live a long life in your mind as you saw how gentle and kind these folks really are
>>43060449>But instead it got supplanted by the much bigger horror that if they figured out you were sapient they would absolutely want you to get a job and pay taxes >And probably move out of Twilight's house because it'd be weird now>While at the time you said 'fuck that', Twilight's Twilighting is reaching a fever pitch and making the idea of spontaneously becoming fully literate and writing 'calm down, bitch' pretty tantalizing>Fortunately, it's when you're reaching out to slap the quill out of her magical grip that the front door bursts open>Loud, yes, but nothing compared to the shrill screech of delight that follows it>"TWILIGHT, WE FOUND HIM!">Pinkie Pie bounces into the Library, grinning from ear to ear>Her unique locomotion jostles and throws her cargo into the air>One mildly nettled looking teenage 'baby' dragon>"Oh thank Celestia! I've been worried so sick! Where ever did you find Spike, Pinkie?">The Ponk finds some mercy in her heart and stops leaping up and down, letting the dragon settle on her back before he gets sick all over the place>"The station! It was the funniest thing, he was getting out of a train! I never would've thought to look inside the cars, especially since I'm pretty sure that train wasn't here yesterday! I never knew you were so good at hide-and-seek, Spike!">Twilight looks apoplectic at the news, whirling on Spike, who has the wherewithal to speak up despite how queasy he looks>"I didn't just run off, Twilight, I swear! Somepony attacked me again!">That gets Twilight off guard, inspecting her little brother for injuries as he keeps speaking>"I don't really remember what happened, the last thing I recall was getting hit in the back of the head. Then I woke up in a crate en route to the Crystal Empire! The Crystal Ponies were happy to see me of course and they kindly let me borrow the Royal Train to come back as soon as possible- which is good, because the trip there was a lot less pleasant! Cadence and Shining Armor say 'hi', by the way.">And that'd be why her plans and writing were getting so terrible>Mailing Spike to various towns has always been your most desperate maneuver>You try not to use it too often, in case you raise suspicion>But goddamn does this pony sometimes not want to fuck off>So, whenever the Princess of Friendship is being too much of a hermit>The hand of fate must be forced>You haven't sent him anywhere dangerous of course, you're not a dick>(Though you have tentative daydreams of trying to send him away with his own Fire Mail Breath just to see what would happen)>The Crystal Empire's definitely the furthest away he's gone but he's basically a Thane there, he was fine>Spike goes on a little adventure, comes home no worse for wear, and like clockwork...
>>43060450>"Well, if you're sure you're okay. Lets head on over to Sugarcube Corner and get some Ruby Cupcakes to put this behind us, how does that sound?">"It sounds supersplendorific! Of course, the last time I tried one of Spike's treats I cracked a tooth, but Minuette set it right just fine! Lets go!">The trio of two ponies and a dragon head on out, laughing on the way>Leaving you alone in the library>Perfect>Without any witnesses beyond that bitch owl, you flop on one of the sofas and slip the book you've had to put off for the past few days out from under it>Alright, lets see where your adventures lead you next, Coltanova...
>>43060449>as a reward for not slapping her mugs off of surfaces for a weekkekthis Anon knows what's up
>>43061195She must never know
Both of them stuck
>>43060283yeah spur was disabled for some reason and you-know-who does his usual garbage while it's briefly gone
>>43061234damn that anon's in season 1 Equestria, very lucky. they should make out haha as a joke
>>43061483Technically, pre-season-1. Unless they showed up a day before NMM.
>Anon is non-magical, not even showing up on magic scans!>Anon is super-magical, even stronger than the princesses and Discord put together!>Anon is anti-magic, even the most powerful magics fizzle when they touch him!Everyone seems to have a different view on how humans should interact with magic. What's your headcanon?Mine is that humans have minimal magical power, and that humans will instead develop psionic abilities. Do people these days know the difference?
>>43061614I headcanon that anon, coming from a higher plane of existence, is immune to magic. Even high tier stuff like Discord only affect him for a limited time, if hit with a transformation spell or something he'd revert in a few seconds. This only works for things that directly affect him though, he has zero resistance over his environment being changed. He also has super strength and enhanced durability. That's moreso used as an equalizer and to make the fights I dream up in my head more interesting and believable though. Don't want him to be an op mary sue or a pushover. I thought about making some kind of "anti-magic" that's effective against him. I also think having him be able to grow a horn or wings in certain environments would be cool but that's meant to be a different continuity.
>>43060449>>43060450desu I would've tried to write something in secret and mail itif unintelligible then who caresif it's fine might be an anonymous letter (not to be confused with Anonymous' letter)
>>43061614my headcanon is that anon is anti-magical, with no conventional magic doing *anything* to him, but certain spells related to creativity do function in rather unusual ways because of meta bullshit related to Equestria being fictional Think of Luna entering Anon's dream just for tables to flip and be the one "guided" or that magical comic from S4 consuming Anon just for him to stay they same AND break the given story
>>43061782>Anon is sucked into a magical superhero comic and becomes…Ordinary Man!
>>43061825tbf he's already special need because of his unique species
>>43061614>Anon is perfectly average when it comes to magic or supernatural abilities.
>>43061922Average for what? Can he levitate with pegasus flight magic?
>>43062018If he were a unicorn or pegasus he'd be able to do unicorn and pegasus things, yes. Let us know if you're confused about anything else that should be obvious.
>>43061614My favorite interpretation has always been him being anti-magic. Spells just slide off him like water, so that he isn't able to just get Magic Missile'd to death or teleported away when he's being annoying... but you CAN magically chuck a rock at his head, so he isn't invincible.The idea of him being super strong in their universe is pretty appealing too.
>>43062156But he's a human.I was hoping his magical power was monkey-see-monkey-do, and if he spent enough time around pegasai, he could flap his arms and fly awkwardly.
>>43062283Like a jack of all trades, master of none?
>>43062283>his magical power was monkey-see-monkey-doThat would be a great premise for a green, actaully
>>43062323Sort of? In any case, he shouldn't be as good as the "real" whatever-he's-imitating.
>>43061757>Anon writes a letter with a fake return address in some distant country>asks about a friendship problem, but couches it in a way that can't simply be answered with a reply and needs her physical presence>Twilight is gone so long Anon finally has time to build a secret room with hidden access corridors to it all over the castle
>>43062704>a secret room with hidden access corridors to it all over the castlewould this make Anon effectively a platypus?
Would anon be good at buckball?
>>43063073I just don't see Anon encompassing ANY part of 'athletic' unless you count masturbating.
>>43063080Isn't him working on AJs farm a common trope in anon stories? He'd have to he pretty in shape for that. How does that even work though, is he just punching trees minecraft style?
>>43063080don't try me, son
>>43063080>full body hands free intense clopping session
>>43063283>8 hours>everyday
>>43063291Weak. I cum with the power of my mind alone.
>>43063080Anon is all of the boards, /fit/ and /sp/ included
>>43063760
>>43063955Shes shitting in his
>>43063606/vt/ in Equestria when
>>43064463Imagine having to explain vtubing to Celestia when she asks what your job was.
>>43064729I see this image a lot but never stop to think about how great it is. look how happy flutters is
>>43064818I like stickanon, he's funny
>worthless imagedump thread
>science Anon is trying to develop a wormhole machine, accidentally punches over into another reality instead>this is, of course, not actually a failure but another excuse to do science>Anon is a decent distance from town, but still quickly encounters ponies>a language barrier exists in the sense he's not even aware they're talking, thinks they're just being unusually horsey>as he didn't see buildings and most ponies move about without any clothes or such, he suspects they're simply very bright animals>time for the tool use, self-identification in a mirror, and object persistence tests!
>With Spike returned from his little trip up north, things quickly reset back to normal>Or rather, what passes for normal around Ponyville>Twilight was so relieved at her little brother's return she completely dropped the idea of training you>And as is typical, picked up on a few new obsessions almost immediately>First there was a big old hubbub about some locked box>You were only half listening so you aren't sure if you remember right about her getting it from a tree>Either way after she spent a few days moping around the Library about how she couldn't brute force the thing open, she got a letter from the local God to go looking for an ideas out in the nearby Cursed Woods>Which resulted in a lovely evening at home eating all of Spike's hidden brownies and curling up with a decently written story about a forbidden romance between a Diamond Dog and a pony>(By this point you're curious how much Twilight scrutinizes what she's putting on her shelves, because this is pretty saucy. Is she scanning for quality, or just hoarding anything with a bunch of pages and some binding?)>That in itself led to a lot more quiet nights where you could just let it hang out and do whatever>You've picked up on trying to cook>As nice as it is to just eat whatever your roommates leave out and your human chow (It's not so bad, ponies can tolerate feeding their pets fish so you're not totally vegetarian, plenty of beans for protein, and vegetables sans any flowers and such since ponies know enough about their charges not to poison them)>You miss the satisfaction of making yourself something to eat>So a few weeks of Twilight and pals holing themselves up in some ruins is the perfect time to work on your pan flip>Sadly, all good things have to come to an end>You're not sure which of the gaggle brought it forward but working on restoring a castle that's been abandoned for over a millennium without an actual crew, or tools, or... anything you'd logically assume would be involved in that kind of operation is stressful>To say nothing of the project being housed in a forest where most of the things would try and eat you if they didn't have one of the only Ponies who could negotiate with the wildlife in tow>So, it's time for a break>Incidentally, it's also about that time of the week when the girls remember they have pets and want to socialize them>Being a more recent addition to that crew you haven't really had to worry about it>But Rarity>Dear Rarity>Got it in her head that maybe if Twilight brought you to their Pony Pet Playdates, it could help with your "roguish behavior">'You do leave the poor thing cooped up an awful lot, darling. I'm sure he'd be much more relaxed when you go out together if you gave him an outlet for his energy' was more or less her thought process
>>43065690>Now, out of Twilight's friend group, you probably like Rarity the most>She's pretty level headed unlike Pinkie, she doesn't get physical with you like Applejack and Rainbow Dash>And she doesn't stare at you like a complete weirdo like Fluttershy>Plus she did an excellent job of saving what she could of your clothes after they got torn up in the Everfree>The apparent 'quality' of your clothing has her convinced you were a runaway from some noble household>(Not a terrible assumption, most humans around town have been dressed in basic tunics and the like to keep their bits out of view, since they weren't afforded sheaths, tails, and more obscured placement of their tits like ponies)>Regardless, as much as you favor the marshmallow out of the group>Sitting here in the park, getting yapped at by Winona while Opalescent digs her claws into your shoulder and hisses at the dog>To say nothing of the alligator that is absolutely trying to eat your foot no matter what Pinkie claims>You would not be opposed to punting her in the ass right about now>The only saving grace is that Fluttershy is running late>That fucking rabbit of hers reminds you too much of the terminally online dipshits from back home>Completely confident in fucking with you, and knowing that there's not much you can do about it (though in this case it's less because they're behind a computer screen a gorillion miles away and more the fact there would be some serious repercussions if you tried to eat that little fuck)>Of course, you know the trope>Speak the Devil's name and he shall appear>Trotting at a brisk pace for herself, Fluttershy crests the hill leading into the park>Though, she's not alone>Well, even less alone than usual>Angel Bunny's riding on her back as usual>One of the Pegasus's wings are wrapped around the hand of a guest>A bidepal, hairless sans some shoulder length, red hair on her head guest>Fluttershy has a human in tow>Specifically, a human woman>(Where the Hell did she even get the money for that? She's a hermit who lives outside the city limits)>"So sorry I'm late, girls!">Fluttershy is breathless, and you can already tell she's excited, because you didn't have to strain your ears to hear her talk>"I wanted you all to meet the latest addition to my cottage, Ruby Sprint!">You say a silent prayer that your wagie nametag survived your hike through the Everfree>God only knows what dumbass name they would've given you otherwise>Either way, Fluttershy's got a new pet and she's keen to show her off>Apparently she's a rescue from some racing derby>Not abused or anything like that, just got a bit too old to run at the levels her handlers expected out of her>Circumstances happened, as they usually do, and Ruby here landed in the care of Fluttershy>"I've never had a human to care for! The opportunity was just too good to pass up on! Oh, I hope she and Anon get along..."
>>43065692>Bit of an unfounded concern, that>As mentioned before, you're far from the only human in Equestria>Hell, there's a fair handful of them in Ponyville>Most of them are fairly docile, and aside from giving you a weird stare with their not-all-there eyes, they haven't tried to go apeshit on you>It's a very 'live and let live' situation when you have to interact with an Equestrian human>So you're expecting pretty much the same when Ruby strides up to inspect you and the rest of the pets currently hanging off and/or chewing on you>That leaves you perfectly open for the woman to reach out and grab a firm handful of your junk, and start making some demonic apeish grunts>"Oh wow, I think she definitely likes him!", Pinkie announces while giggling and snorting behind her hooves>There's a bit of a scramble to separate you, as that grip is anything but pleasant, causing you to flip your shit a bit and flail around the other girl's pets in your struggle>Fluttershy apologizes profusely, but there's a glint in those cyan eyes, that... is a little unsettling>You have the distinct feeling this is going to be a problem, AnonfieldY'know, I was mostly just gonna make these as little unconnected snippets, tell some Garfield jokes with the serial numbers filed off, but then a storyline happened. Not sure how.
>>43065693>That leaves you perfectly open for the woman to reach out and grab a firm handful of your junk, and start making some demonic apeish gruntsbad touch
>>43065641me behind the camera
>>43063073I keep this audio drama open on my browser at all times.
>>43066039I have to do this for my dog
>>43065641>object persistence tests!Anon scams the ponies out of their bits with three-card monte.
>>43067578>”i can’t WAIT to go home and jerk it in my room alone”
>>43065692>>43065693CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A WOMAN
>>43067612
>>43065693goddamit Fluttershy, I bet she taught Ruby how to do thatwhat a bitch
>>43068592>”how do you know have you tried?”
>>43067578She should be careful what she wishes for.
>>43069320
>>43067578
>>43069854Mareful
>>43070754Just tell her to fuck odd it will go perfectly normal I promise
>Alright we're ditching the pithy (You) intro>You're Anonfield, you're Twilight's pet, go>We got a fucking situation here>Which for the most part you've been doing an excellent job avoiding by hiding underneath various bits of furniture>(The amount of clearance Twilight's couches have is fucking insane, who designed this shit?)>FOCUS>As much as you've put this off by fortifying your position>Eventually Twilight and pals are either going to finish refurbishing that dumbass castle or Rainbow's finally going to pitch a fit about how boring the whole endeavor is hard enough to get the rest of them to fold>Just like the group's very short lived book-club once the other five voted to ban Daring Do books after going through 1/3rd of the series>In a row>Even Twilight was getting bored of that shit and she's just as big of a fan of them as Rainbow Da->Dude!>Two feet in the now, please!>Yes, you're avoiding even thinking about it>But this is a problem that isn't going to away by pretending it doesn't exist, like your parents trying to get you to start paying rent:>Fluttershy absolutely wants you to fuck her pet human>(And you're like 90% sure she wants to goddamn watch, if not make some sort of excuse to get all up in that too)>So, get this>Miss "I've never taken care of a human before" has it in her head that because Ruby tried to turn your nuts into applesauce that means she's down bad>There's plenty of other explanations for that!>It could've been a greeting (You've never seen Equestrian humans do that)>It could've been an intimidation tactic (In which case it fucking succeeded)>It could've been a...>A third thing isn't coming to mind but fuck, man>Either way, you're not interested>Don't get it twisted, you like women just fine>Please ignore that you were a virgin in your last life>But the humans here...>It's too much like getting with an animal>There's no soul in there, just base cravings and a lot of hooting>Sometimes in the dead of night you swear you hear that hooting>In a twist of fate you'd honestly rather get down with a mare>They laugh, they talk, they have actual opinions on things>Sapience is pretty much what's getting your dick going these days>And Equestrian Humans absolutely do not have it>(That said Fluttershy's eagerness is off-putting in its' own way, to be honest)>Twilight seems pretty on the fence about the whole thing>Possibly due to aforementioned eagerness weirding her out>But you've heard the two talking during Fluttershy's much more significant visits and you fear she's getting her to come around with the scientific and parental angles she's working
>>43071176>'Oh gosh, Twilight, wouldn't it just be fascinating to watch the process in pony rather than just read about it?'>'Gee, Twilight, I thought that sort of thing would really interest you'>'Don't you think Anon would just be so happy to have some human cubs to take care of while we're all away?'>'Maybe if he spent his time caring for his own young he'd calm down and stop making you chase him all over town!'>You definitely saw the wheels turning with that last one>Fucking chubby ass princess>Just because you're probably immortal now doesn't make it a good idea to tempt heart failure with all those burgers>Regardless>You've accepted the likelihood that Fluttershy is going to successfully needle your owner and stud you out so that the Pegasus can masturbate to it>Whatever the reason Fluttershy lands a direct hit with doesn't matter>So, you need to prepare>Luckily, you've got just the plan for this situation>A bit of a modification to an old standby that will surely get your dick out of this DEFCON 1 situation>The girls are out at the castle for the day, Spike's away at some comic book convention>There's not going to be a more perfect time for this>So, with your beatin' rock in hand, you traverse the village>Confident that this nightmare is going to be at an end>It's a clear shot to Fluttershy's cottage out just past the city limits>Without their caretaker around to feed and fuss over them, most of the animals are away for the day>Forced to forage for their own dinners for once, the poor fucks>You let yourself right in, the door unlocked just in case any critter wants to stop by anyway>To find your quarry lounging on Fluttershy's couch, limbs splayed in odd angles with everything hanging out shamelessly>That'd be neat, if, again, you weren't dealing with a bipedal dog here>So you go right ahead and bring your rock filled fist up>And then right back down>THWACK>The stone connects right on her temple>And...>With Spike, who's about two and a half feet tall and weighs about as much as a bag of potatoes, the scaly fella would be out for more than long enough for you to stuff him in a crate and layer that shit in stamps>Ruby Sprint here, however...>Equestrian Human skulls must be a few shades thicker than your Terran noggin, because her hazel eyes fly open, expression one of confusion before a bit of blood trickles down the side of her face on to the sofa>Which she dabs at with her fingers to get a good look at>Ruby looks at you>You look at Ruby>You look at the blood on her digits>Ruby looks at the rock currently in your hand, which has a suspicious bit of red on it>Just as your flight or fight senses finally roar back to life in the stupefying face of the situation>The former racer lunges off of the couch, crashing on top of you>The last thing you hear before her fist rockets between your eyes is more of the hooting that's been plaguing your nightmares>...>...>Your head hurts...
>>43071179>Despite the awful pain radiating from every nerve in your body>Consciousness starts to flood your mind once again>With a groan you struggle to get up, pressing your elbows into the wooden paneling of Fluttershy's floor to try and drag yourself up>As you do so you hear voices, however>Very near>Groggily looking around you spot Twilight and Fluttershy at the Pegasus's coffee table>The yellow pony currently petting away at Ruby and looking far too delighted for your liking>"Oh, see, Twilight? Isn't this so precious? Anon's so smitten with Ruby he came to visit while we were all away!">"I suppose he did, though it looks like they had a bit of a tussle...">'Tussle' your pristine ass>Your bones ache>What the Hell did she do to you?>"Well, they aren't like you or I, Twilight. Human courtship may be a bit more rough than what ponies prefer, but I'm just so sure they're keen on each other! Oh, it's a shame we didn't get to see this step of the process...">You really are glad you didn't have to personally find out whether domestic violence turns Fluttershy on or not>Before you can fully get back to a standing position and interrupt this whole conversation, Twilight makes a small hum to indicate her thinking>"... Perhaps. You know, Fluttershy, maybe you're right. Anon hardly ever leaves the Library on his own, so this must mean something. I think we should start seriously seeing if they're interested in mating. The process is pretty fascinating, what with how human women don't have a typical heat season...">Well, fuck
>>43071182>"... You know, Fluttershy, maybe you're right ..."
>>43071370"The flightplan I just filed with Canterlot lists me, my waifu, Dr. Sparkle here, but only one of you! The first one to blep gets to stay on my air carriage!">Grabs pegasus and holds her outside carriage as it soars over Ponyville."WHO PAID YOU TO BE THIS CUTE?">Tosses her to the wind, where the mare comfortably flaps away."SHE FLIES PRETTY GOOD, WHOSE NEXT?">Grabs the earth pony mare."TELL ME ABOUT CADANCE? WHY DOES SHE WEAR THE CROWN? A LOTTA ROYALTY FOR AN ORPHANED PEGASUS!"
>>43071418jej
>>43071418>Tosses her to the wind, where the mare comfortably flaps away.>"SHE FLIES PRETTY GOOD, WHOSE NEXT?"fucking kek
>>43072385Bonnie is NOT happy about this development, yet she's still going along with it.
>>43071182FUCK NONONONONOPULL THE TRUMP CARD, PETANONSHOW YOUR SAPIENS, HOMO
>>43072676I've got two ideas on how to finish this one off, and they're fucking fighting tooth and nail, lol.
