[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vm / vmg / vr / vrpg / vst / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / pw / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / vt / wsg / wsr / x / xs] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
Settings Mobile Home
/mlp/ - Pony


Thread archived.
You cannot reply anymore.


[Advertise on 4chan]


File: predictive.png (294 KB, 1488x993)
294 KB
294 KB PNG
Come one and all to the meta-writefag and help raise the quality of MLP fanfiction! Featuring: The $0.99 Kindle ocean of piss!

ITT: English language was cobbled together by absolute retards, deeply conceptualized as something that transcends the boundaries of traditional prose, what if I do want a death cult, a clown and an idiot underqualified for the task he chose, channeling his autism into creating quality horsewords, the thread's designated pervert, I always suspect him of putting diapers in a story, one day you too could be a guy who pees on rainbow dash, Twifags have an autism multiplier, original fiction is an outdated entertainment medium, his talent turns out to be fucking Celestia sex toys, I strained to assuage the magnitude of my impulsive cringe, Nightmare Night is as culturally insensitive as St. Patrick's Day, a requirement to be both retarded and autistic in order to post comments, talking like a Final Fantasy villain is based, and "emidiotly"!

>/fimfic/ Secret Book Club
The one hundred and sixty-seventh book is Subjunctive:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/81260/subjunctive
If (You) want to participate, read through the end of chapter 22 (titled "Chapter XXI: Elision") by Sunday, February 15th.
Past bookclubs: https://ponepaste.org/11255

>Recommended stories:
Tired of adventures that meander for a million words? Fed up with super special OCs? Well, we've compiled the best of the worst in order to bring you our absolute average!
New Starter Kit - http://mlpficreviews.org.uk/starter/
Old Starter Kit - http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png

>Common fic abbreviations used by the thread:
https://ponepaste.org/7317

>A list of reviews made by the Anons in this thread:
http://www.mlpficreviews.org.uk
Use the commands ">review <story link>" and ">discuss <story link>" to add reviews to a story.
Userscript for extra features: https://ponepaste.org/8619

>An in-depth writing guide for beginners:
https://eznguide.neocities.org/

>Additional material for authors:
Rhorse's Horse Behavioral Notes - https://ponepaste.org/932
Politics and the English Language - https://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit/
Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop - https://poneb.in/g4VpEg4f
Purdue Online Writing resources: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/index.html and https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/creative_writing/writers/index.html

>Can you pre-read my story?
Post it on Google Docs or HackMD with comments enabled and give us a link.

>Various reviews and riffs:
Fillyanon's Bookshelf - https://ponepaste.org/5555
Notkickass222urmom's Reviews - https://pastebin.com/u/notkickass222urmom
IHeartShinzakura's Reviews - https://ponepaste.org/user/IHeartShinzakura
Appleanon reads fics - https://poneb.in/wmGX7FPm
Deluxe Big Master Review List - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1z9Bz7UnEbxo-svlXa2tV49PJkP-yFuR7pRXiBUn-IeU
A Guide to Rational Fics - https://files.catbox.moe/3jzrfm.png

Previous Thread: >>42994385
>>
Has anyone ever written a fic with a pony who has real autism? Not "I post on 4chan" autism. Like "rocking back and forth all the time, obsessively ordering the silverware in the drawer, and memorizing train timetables" autism.
>>
File: big smooch vector.png (1021 KB, 3250x2000)
1021 KB
1021 KB PNG
2nd for best 2uo!
Enjoy this conveniently packaged Tuna: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/539121/oneiromance
>>
>>43031000
Nice get, and any fic with trains in it, I'm going to guess.
>>
Do any of you guys make major story decisions for grammar's sake? I'll give a really simple example: I've got a cute story anthology with Tempest Shadow, and I wrote her as having a son in part because that makes the pronouns unambiguous. He's a nameless character, and the story is most often Tempest alone. I can refer to them as she and he effortlessly. The simplicity of referring to them this way is clear when you consider how difficult it would be if they were the same sex. This also works because masculine works as the unknown gender, although I'm not using it that way here and this is less common these days.
>>
Author of the featured fic earlier made a backup on Ponepaste, along with their other fics that got delisted:

Anonfilly, Harmony-less [Part 1]: https://ponepaste.org/11696
Anonfilly, Harmony-less [Part 2]: https://ponepaste.org/11704
Anonfilly, Harmony-less [Part 3]: https://ponepaste.org/11717
Anonfilly, Harmony-less [Part 4]: https://ponepaste.org/11718
Anonfilly, Harmony-less [Epilogue]: https://ponepaste.org/11724

Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 1]: https://ponepaste.org/11728
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 2]: https://ponepaste.org/11729
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 3]: https://ponepaste.org/11730
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 4]: https://ponepaste.org/11731
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 5]: https://ponepaste.org/11732
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 6]: https://ponepaste.org/11733
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Interlude 1]: https://ponepaste.org/11734
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 7]: https://ponepaste.org/11735
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 8]: https://ponepaste.org/11736
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 9]: https://ponepaste.org/11737
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Interlude 2]: https://ponepaste.org/11738

Haunting Memories [Chapter 1]: https://ponepaste.org/11739
Haunting Memories [Chapter 2]: https://ponepaste.org/11740
Haunting Memories [Chapter 3]: https://ponepaste.org/11741
Haunting Memories [Chapter 4]: https://ponepaste.org/11742
Haunting Memories [Chapter 5]: https://ponepaste.org/11743
Haunting Memories [Chapter 6]: https://ponepaste.org/11744
Haunting Memories [Chapter 7]: https://ponepaste.org/11745
Haunting Memories [Chapter 8]: https://ponepaste.org/11746
>>
>>43031000
Fear from the Rails comes to mind
>>
>>43030901
>But I think that even in the early story context, it is appropriate for Sawbones to put her on the back burner rather than immediately proclaim his witness to the miracles of the pike-staff.
And I get that in retrospect, I just don't think the story communicates it properly.

>I thought it was something of a mystery how she could manifest in the tent while clearly having been banished worlds away. At least in her introduction.
Hmm. See, there's one line she says:
>The moment of Our release must be drawing close, that such an offering brings Us thus, immenentized, here outside of our imprisonment, if only for a moment.
To me, this sounded pretty unambiguously like the real, actual NMM, and since the stars draw near to aiding her escape her moon-prison was weakened enough for her to be able to effectively project herself partially into reality, far from Equestria.
Now granted there's this moment where she almost touches the pike staff:
>She held a wing out to the pikestaff, but did not touch it, and even then, a black bolt of lightning jumped from the lance to her wing-claw, making her jump as if she had been shocked.
>"Oh! Indeed! You all have forgotten more than you’ve remembered! Here is something indeed! But too strong, too strong, I would lose my mind if I took all that in a sitting! I would be as empty as a foal if I drank all that down! Indeed, indeed, in fact, I almost feel something coming on…" She spun on her heels, turning to face the assembly.
>"I will return, this is worth the investment indeed! Your service has been well worth the wait!
So maybe this was the one time we see the real NMM reaching out from the Moon, and then she leaves and the rest of the story is just the staff's own magic manifesting as a Spirit? Perhaps I should have read deeper into this scene.

However I still don't like that the story doesn't let you guess at it properly, and instead just barely touches on the initial introduction and then omits mentioning her almost entirely for a while.
Also, you talk of her being "mad", but what I remember from that initial dialogue is her referencing various historical deeds, early campaigns and whatnot, which sounds just like what the presumably-real initial NMM apparition also immediately started ranting about which did not particularly help draw a distinction between the two.

>they have lost their apocalyptic religious cult tendencies
>I never expected them to be psychotic foal eaters.
I said cultists because they themselves call themselves that by the end of the story. Really the better phrasing would be that I expected a fic about Nightmare Moon loyalists.
>>
>>43031051
No because I don't suffer from chronic skill issue and I'm not a complacent fag who lazes about with his prose but I see the challenge as a way to improve at writing.
>>
>>43031051
No, not major decisions. Minor ones, though? Yeah, sometimes. Part of the reason why I soft-default into making one-off background OCs male more often than not is to make the pronouns clearer, like you said. But I also do it because it feels better to not have at least some stallions mentioned in the story.
>>
>>43031373
AI slop.
>>
>>43031484
It's inarguably easier to write this way. Not only would it be harder otherwise, the prose would be clunky in comparison. Now I'm trying to think about what I feel my last big improvement to be. It feels like I'm just getting more comfortable writing longer stories, so that counts for something, I suppose.

>>43031542
It's a little funny to imagine one's character asking why he or she was made a certain way, only to hear the response
>it was easier to write that way
>>
>>43031725
>I'm trying to think about what I feel my last big improvement to be
The one you do before you die.
Ideally, you never stop improving. There's always something you can do better.
>>
>>43031794
Of course. By last I meant latest.
>>
File: 1766339793296718.png (429 KB, 681x675)
429 KB
429 KB PNG
>nightmare dom fic
>it's fucking anthro
I am owed my government mandated nightmare moon dommy mommy smut WITH HOOVES
>>
>>43031954
Sorry man, even my smut fic where Celestia accidentally infects the sunlight with her baby fever will be anthro. I like boobs.
>>
>>43032015
I don't care about the Celestia sunlight you infidel
>>
>>43031421
In retrospect, I think it was never the real Luna/NMM, and most of the ambiguity comes from the way, in her insanity, the Spirit can't tell the difference between herself and the real deal. This is what I meant earlier, too, about the story's deceptions early on. It's not clear, and you can't reasonably guess, what the exact nature of the Spirit is. But all of that is fun for the reader. Unless, it's not fun because you want all the needed clues ASAP, but I don't. I was reading ITCON alongside another Lunaflag and he spoiled to me what she was (which I wanted) but the spoiler wasn't right (which ended up causing me more than a a little frustration). You could say you had it worse because you determined immediately that she was something she wasn't.

You said you can see in retrospect that it doesn't matter to Sawbones then, but I'm trying to say that I think that was clear even back then. Even if it was spoiled for you and you could go into the story back then and explain to his striped face that she is an astral projection of a disguised time travelling Queen Chrysalis, you should know, given his characterization by then, that he would just demand to know how to stop the pike-staff from killing the Captain.
>>
File: starry eyed look.png (1.34 MB, 1477x1576)
1.34 MB
1.34 MB PNG
>>
>>43032024
Of course YOU wouldn't.
>>
New game: sort your Read it Later shelf by random, and read and review the first fic that pops up. If it's a long one then just read the opening chapters and post your thoughts on the story so far.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/482425/why-cant-i-sleep
I felt this one was a bit too short and the prose a bit too to-the-point to really do anything for me. I've read stories about unrequited love that worked quite well even when squeezed into such a tiny wordcount like this, but the prose needs to do a lot of heavy lifting for a story centered around emotion, and here I find it rather lacklustre. It often feels like it's just saying "Twilight is sad. She is sad and it hurts," and when it does try actually depicting her anguish instead of merely pointing it out, it either feels like it was applied to the wrong line or like the pacing robs it of any impact by jumping to the next thing as soon as the sentence ends instead of letting the taste linger a little bit. The setup is also a bit goofy, but probably could've worked in a longer fic where we actually see it all happen instead of having it clumsily mentioned here and there mid-scene.
>author wrote this all in the middle of the night while sleep deprived
Yeah, that explains it.
>>
>>43032531
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/232879/ocular-spectral-therapy
Well, that first chapter was... something. It's a rough read, but not even because of the content. The first paragraph hits you with
>Darkness was the only way of how the small world works, let alone the real world to say the very least; as a matter of fact, the small world is indeed the real world and vice versa too nonetheless. The jet black void was all that could be seen but not heard, felt, tasted, or smelled; yet, it can be also sensed as well anyways, devoid of even a modicum of light bearing any hue whatsoever to permeate through its entirety. For a moment, it had seemed that all was completely lost, its mere fate already sealed and set in stone to say the least before the very beginning; nothing else was going to even change that in the slightly.
It's suber verbose, and the worst type of purple in that it's outright just nonsensical in its attempt to seem profound.
It's actually rather hard to piece together everything that happened. AJ's in a mental hospital? I think AB got kidnapped and AJ went to go and save her but ended up getting attacked/assaulted instead, but AB did get away in the end? She ended up having a son that one of the girls is now raising? There's a war going on? AJ had I guess a mental break and tried to harm AB only to be stopped by "those people"? She's having a conversation with a voice from in the dark and it's just (vaguely) talking about things that happened before the story even started. Very messy, though that's probably why I RiL'd it.
>>
>>43032724
Yikes, yeah that's too purple and vague for my tastes. Even just the description puts me off.

Somewhat related, does anyone else have separate RiLs for short oneshots and longer fics? Sometimes I just want to grab a quick snack from the fridge and sometimes I want to sit down for a full meal.
>>
File: luna which one?.png (695 KB, 1400x997)
695 KB
695 KB PNG
>>
>>43032097
>It's not clear, and you can't reasonably guess, what the exact nature of the Spirit is. But all of that is fun for the reader. Unless, it's not fun
I don't mind piecing together clues, but I did not find it fun because I didn't even know it was a mystery.
I suppose as always it could simply be my fault for not picking up on clues, but I maintain that the annals-like structure just exacerbated the issue: if you don't figure out more or less what's up, then you're treated to the most boring arc of the story while the entire cast of characters summarily ignores the most burning topic of the story.
The colloquial, spoken, informal prose and narrative also doesn't help with taking the story as a puzzle, like I've mentioned at length in my earlier posts.

I don't know if I had it worse than you if you were spoiled to the wrong conclusion (though if you had doubts in the first place then maybe a seed of doubt would've still remained, while I thought I knew what was going on and was just frustrated).

>Even if it was spoiled for you and you could go into the story back then and explain to his striped face that she is an astral projection of a disguised time travelling Queen Chrysalis, you should know, given his characterization by then, that he would just demand to know how to stop the pike-staff from killing the Captain.
I'm not sure I fully agree. Maybe having read the entire story now I can see what you mean, but really, those early chapters gave the impression (to me at least) like the Company did care about its traditions, origins and mysticism. The loss of the original Annals in the desert was not just a historically unfortunate event from a scholarly point of view, it was explicitly described with the word "catastrophe". There's a passage that say something like "while the fresh recruits gawked at the banner, we Company ponies knew the pike-staff was the actual heart of the Company". Sawbones doesn't exactly come off as a purely practical non-believer, at least that wasn't my read on him in the early chapters.
Yes he's practical, but "our patron goddess has seemingly returned to patronise us directly" seems like a very practically useful matter.
>>
>>43033026
One of each please
>>
>>43031373
>AIcuck shit
I’d rather gargle bleach
>>
>>43033105
Bleach Gargler was a hero.
>>
>>43032781
Open your read it later folder and put "words:<10000" into the search bar, this will display only stories less than 10k words long. Change to your desired length
>>
With Discord's upcoming photo ID/selfie requirement in March, anyone who wants to get a Fimfic account might want to do it soon.

>>43028009
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/201097/folder/21178/knight
Maybe one of these, anon?

>>43029116
I'd say anything south of 8k or so. More important is having good short/long synopses, which can be especially challenging to put together well for longfics.

>>43029192
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/242469/fly-to-the-stars-and-back
Has an 88k chapter and multiple 70k+ chapters. You'd read a full-length novel every time the autism updated.
>>
>>43033655
>Fly to the Stars and Back
Gosh. I remember ages ago when this was discovered itt I tried to give the first chapter a read. I can barely even remember bits and pieces, but oh man. The MC is AJ's adopted cousin and they both wanna bang. There's a scene where Luna's in her throne room watching some of her guards screw, only for Pinkie to pop up and challenge her to a competition of who can bang the most/longest (I posted a snippet from the scene a while back I recall.) Also, at one point the MC goes on an adventure with Daring, and she ends up getting raped by Aztec ponies. That last part really stuck out because afterward there's a scene where MC reads Daring's new book and he's like "ah I see she left out the part about her being raped." Or something along those lines. Just batshit.
>>
File: 1750952948990738.jpg (158 KB, 1110x832)
158 KB
158 KB JPG
No dying!
>>
>>
File: blep.png (242 KB, 2031x2720)
242 KB
242 KB PNG
>>
>>43034502
>now where could the moon be?
>LUNAFIELD!
>>
I read my second Estee fanfic today (both were short stories). And even though they were written well, I just can't can shake the feeling that something's off. Maybe I dislike the style. Maybe it's the fact that everyone is so prim, correct, too much like their character? Not sure how to put it into words. Has anyone else experienced something similar while reading their stories?
>>
>>43034567
I used to read Estee's blogposts for some reason when I was younger and bored. I have no idea what it's like now, but he used to blogpost a ton about his life, and it literally just
>I'm so unlucky, everything went wrong, because of course everything always goes wrong for me
>and then this went wrong, and then that got unlucky
>and then of course this and that failed, because nothing ever goes right with my luck
That and for some reason talking about "doing surveys", as in those shitty marketing scams that require all your personal data to have a 1% chance to win a $3 coca-cola coupon or whatever, because he was convinced it was a productive use of his time and the only way he could get some money.

That kind of personality comes through in your writing.
>>
>>43034567
Estee is a good writer. But he has a slow style of writing. A drawn-out style of writing. The sort of style where a new sentence will contain no more than exactly one new piece of information. The sort of style where one abuses repetitions for emphasis with no shame or remorse. That sort of style. And he will linger on one train of thought. He will linger on it a lot. And then, just to keep you from falling completely asleep, he will spice his dull train of thought up with a bit of irony. And maybe what looks like a reasonabel conclusion. And you think that maybe this paragraph wasn't completely insufferable, that you can actually make it through this story. So you move to the next paragraph. And it all starts anew. That's the kind of writer Estee is.
>>
>>43034567
I remember not liking certain aspects of how the M6 were written when reading Triptych (long), and the general more miserable/dour air that permeates his Equestria. (I'd say the worst example of this is that Applejack fic he wrote where she was travelling home and gets followed, not a pony story in the slightest in my eyes.) There are definitely aspects to his stuff that can easily rub someone wrong, yeah.
>>
>>43034702
>Applejack fic he wrote where she was travelling home and gets followed
Kek, what? That seems so out of place in a pony fic it's ridiculous
>>
>>43034702
>>43034762
>you can't touch certain subject matter in a pony fanfiction, here is this line, you're never ever allowed to go past that, understand?
Sometimes I think you guys are the exact kind of people who seethed at Lord of the Flies for corrupting the idealistic innocence of The Coral Island 70 years ago
>>
>>43034762
It didn't need to be one in any capacity. Spoilers but Iirc, AJ's travelling back from Canterlot, there's a stallion outside at the train-station when she arrives. She tries to talk to him, but he's instantly super aggressive and AJ clocks there's something very wrong with him. She gets on the train but he gets on after her, and he's obviously eyeballing her the whole ride back to Ponyville. I think he starts to chase her when they return, AJ runs to the house(?) of a police-mare she knows and kicks her fence down, police-mare comes out and spooks away the stallion. Police-mare tells AJ that she knows the stallion, he's not a bad guy but severely mentally ill with a bad habit of stopping his pills when he starts to get 'better.' I think AJ considers maybe trying to talk to him if she sees him in the future but the police-mare goes "no, sadly you're just cemented as an enemy in his mind now, nothing to be done." AJ goes home, gets in bed and the fic ends on her feeling down about how there are ponies out there totally helpless to their mental issues. Nothing about it is distinctly pony at all. By all rights it's just an uncomfortable fic about a woman getting stalked home by an aggressive, mentally unwell man and learning that some people are extreme victims to their own issues.
>>43034775
Not what I said, thanks.
>>
File: purple mooncat.jpg (2.72 MB, 3840x3840)
2.72 MB
2.72 MB JPG
>>43034762
The premise for it was totally unpony, but the resolution for it was quite pony. And it was otherwise well-written. The whole point was to be atmospheric (the title), and it delivered there.
I was trying to think of a fic of Estee's I liked, because Natural Ones was pretty unfunny, but that reminded me.
>>
Did Estee write HIE fics or only easy genres?
>>
>>43034777
500 Little Murders? Even considering that 90% of the fic's acclaim comes from the subject matter.
>>
>>43034779
didn't he write a mario crossover once
>>
File: bubble.png (185 KB, 561x532)
185 KB
185 KB PNG
>>43034784
Another good story with an unpony premise, although not as badly so as Fog. I didn't pay attention to it being written by Estee, maybe there are others. I did like Fog more.
>>
>>43034788
I thought Estee was a woman.
>>
>>43034775
I'm not saying you can't write about that. It's just grossly out of place in canon equestria. If it were set some alternate universe, or maybe a Fo:E fanfic i'd buy it.
>>
>>43034810
Probably true. It got that impression our of their stories.
>>
>>43034904
I made two typos in a single sentence, kek.
*I
*out
>>
Is Fimfiction down?
>>
>>43034927
Not on my end.
>>
>>43034927
Works for me
>>
>>43034892
>It's just grossly out of place in canon equestria.
good news, anon; since it's a fanfic, it doesn't take place in canon equestria anyway.
>>
>>43034776
Was the fic AI generated by any chance
>>
>>43035067
>Estee
>AI generated
Newfagbro...
>>
>that 200k human-to-batpony fic in the feature box
>it's exactly my autism so I give it a try despite my low expectations
>first chatper flip-flops between first-person and third-person several times, all in the span of a few paragraphs
Man I wish there existed fics that were like that but competently written
>>
>>43035037
There are stories that fit into canon and there are those that don't. A fanfic is a story set within a certain established universe. If you wanna write a fanfic, you follow the rules of said universe. If your fanfic breaks those rules, for example, by including some event that would never happen in the original story and you make no effort to come up with a way it could fit into canon, then your fanfic is an alternate universe story.
>>
>>43035228
Every fanfic is an alternate universe story.
>>
>>43035228
Problem:
FiM is a case where there's an unclear amount of "kid's show filter" that can be stripped back from the setting as presented, in order to expose the setting as it would realistically be.
It's kind of up to each individual author on how much of that "kid's show filter" they want to strip back, which may mean some people feel something's realistic to the setting, while someone else might think it's too IRL and gritty for the setting.
>>
File: purple flight.jpg (497 KB, 2375x1826)
497 KB
497 KB JPG
>>
>>43034659
kek
>>
>>43035270
Stripping is unnatural in a clothing-optional society like Equestria.
>>
>>43032531
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/385146/on-the-transience-of-adelasters
Apparently this is some sort of anthology, but each story is, well, it's own stand-alone story.
How peculiar.
Anyway, this has a very standard setting. Vinyl and Octavia are going to have a week-long vacation in Octavia's old family home, and then spooooky things happen. For such a generic and formulaic premise, I think it was decently executed.
There's this creature of folklore called an adelaster--Celestia knows why it's called that--which devours ponies after entrancing them with false promises.
It's not that long, and it's an enjoyable read. I think the bits where the story is formatted so the jumpscares come from Vinyl screaming in big, bold, italicised text is tacky, and detracts a bit from what could've been done more traditionally to emphasise the moment itself, but that's my preference.
Then, the ending comes, and it's a nice little way to tie it all together. Spoilers for a rather short story.
Vinyl has spent these three days seeing the creature creep around the house, waking her up and entrancing her, with Octavia consoling her and reassuring her. Then, on that third day, Octavia arrives, apologising for having been delayed so much. The Octavia that has been staying with Vinyl was the adelaster all along.
I think it's a good concept, but it ends so quickly that we don't get to dwell on that sense of betrayal and fear before the story is over.
What's in the story is good, but it's not executed to its full potential. Still, I don't have many actual negative things to say about the story itself, so I think it's a decent read.
Also, this is the fourth entry in this horror series, and I've only read the first one. I'll get to the rest some day.
>>
>>43032531
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/509241/somepony-my-speed
Read this one on a whim, and it turned out to be a decent little fic. And even though it has no romance tag, it does a better job at establishing a connection between Zephyr and Tree Hugger than some shipfics do with canon characters.
I guess that's just the power of friendship.
They just bounce off each other so naturally. The conversation flows nicely, they've got good chemistry, and a well written hippie is fun.
Anyway, there's not much to this one beyond fun. Because it is fun. And who doesn't love fun?
Fun fun fun.
>>
>>43035160
Be the autism you want to see in the cesspit.
>>
>>43036075
Went ahead and read the sequel.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/560185/the-perfect-wave
It's sweeter and finally delivers on the romance, but it's not as good. Too short, I'd say.
Zephyr and Tree Hugger's interactions are still the highlight, and there's a good lesson presented.
I guess I just wanted more. It comes, it says its thing, it shows both of them being happy.
It's fine, I suppose, but it doesn't feel as comfy as the previous one.
Still enjoyable, but only as an epilogue to the previous story.
>>
>>43032531
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/579925/acid-trip
This is an interesting one. And not just because I had never read or heard about acid zombies.
Anyway, apocalypse has come to Equestria and Starlight is savescumming to get the best possible run. She doesn't seem to have much success.
A 1k word story doesn't leave you room for fluff, so this hits the ground running and doesn't stop. Doomsday is going on and we're gonna see little glimpses of all possible choices Starlight can make.
Solid and succinct. Give it a shot.
>>
>>43032531
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/580053/no-bones-about-it
Roseluck finds a bone in her garden. It only gets worse from there.
This is a good one. I'm actually surprised how well it works. For a 1k story, it packs a lot, even if much of it is only suggested and presented for inference.
I won't say much else. It's definitely worth a read. Among the better stories I've read recently.
>>
>>43036241
I remember that one. I found it kinda interesting, but not particularly compelling. I was more confused than horrified at the end. I actually had to stop and think, "What's supposed to be scary about this?" before I was able to put things together. Then I read it again, and I could see things building, and I thought it did okay at that if you knew what was supposed to be going on.
>>
>>43031000
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/300693/shears maybe counts? I hated it. Basically Twilight tries to do S1 stuff and fails due to the many crippling mental illnesses that the author has arbitrarily inflicted upon her
>>
>>43036350
The description says
>I identify this story as a so-called "rational" fiction
which alone is enough to make me not want to read it.
>>
>>43032097
>I think it was never the real Luna/NMM
What do you mean, you think? It was spelled out pretty unambiguously toward the end IIRC, including in the final chapter
>>
File: what other ponies?.jpg (331 KB, 1536x2048)
331 KB
331 KB JPG
>>43036380
He almost had a point, though. I would never have considered it because I am pretty staunch on "in the moon" banishment, where she could not have consciously done anything, over the "on the moon", where she could theoretically spellcast, but the story actually says the latter.
It's a weak interpretation to say that was, for half a minute, the actual NMM projecting herself through the pike-staff from the moon several worlds away, but it is at least arguable from the quoted text.
>>
Fics where the protagonist is scorned by society despite doing everything asked of him?
>>
Mister Pants was my father.
>>
I don't use pants.
>>
>>43036773
Nobody uses pants, because you don't use pants. You wear them.
>>
>>43036551
>despite doing everything asked of him
>can't get to class on time
>>
File: 56763.png (177 KB, 907x768)
177 KB
177 KB PNG
>>
>>43036380
>>43036479
He's started talking to himself. The illness is terminal.
>>
The recent talk made me curious.
In (You)r opinion, what is the worst thing that could happen in a story, yet still have it feel like Equestria?
The show has had funerals, salt bars in place of regular bars, funny wars with pies and super duper serious wars in alternate timelines, regicides...
Where do you draw the line? What is the most you're willing to accept when it comes to darker topics?
>>
>>43037504
I'd argue slavery. The Sombra war timeline shows him mind-controlling ponies, which is effectively a form of slavery.
>>
>>43037504
Alicorn Twilight
>>
>>43037504
It really depends on how you depict it, but the fact that slavery, racism, and possibly rape (Chrysalis) can exist sets the bar pretty high.
I think it's far easier to cross the line when you make present day ponies responsible for those kinds of things. The child abuse chapter of BP comes to mind as something that went too far for me.
>>
>>43036479
>it's a weak interpretation
I maintain it as my interpretation even now, btw. Except I haven't gotten to the finale yet, so if that contradicts it then fair enough, but until then I believe that while it's ambiguous, to me it seems very reasonable to think it's the real one.

>"Our Company, indeed. One of many, it ought to be. The old Third, the bloody-bannered Third, that held against the traitor legions when all others fled in the rout in the Whitetail Wood, who held the peak of the Canterhorn while all others fled in the face of the Solar traitors. But you left me alone like all the rest in the end..."
>"...But I strain and I strain my thoughts and I cannot feel any of the others. Have they scattered so far, fled to worlds so far down the Chain of Creation that even I can not hear their deeds?"
These words suggest two things to me: firstly, she's recognising the Company as just one of several, basically saying "oh yeah you guys are the Third, that one, the one who did such and such back in the day, yeah I remember", which doesn't sound like something you'd say if you were a spirit that had lived directly within this very Company for centuries.
And secondly, she's "straining" her thoughts to try to find the other Companies, presumably even across other worlds in the Chain except ones who are "too far down", which implies that she's able - or expects to be able - to sense them even across multiple worlds, as long as it's not "too far". So it seems perfectly reasonable to expect that she's reaching the Third from Equestria, and that Tambelon is presumably not that far down relatively speaking.

Of course it's also possible to interpret this as a fragment of NMM's identity who exists entirely within the pike-staff and the gestalt of the Company's subconscious and essense, but simply doesn't know it, and therefore still holds her old memories (acting as if she was the original NMM) and thinks she's able to reach through multiple worlds but in reality cannot. And if you assume that NMM is initially just purely insane and incoherent, then of course you can conclude anything and ignore everything she says.
But if you put any weight into her words, IMO they fully support the idea of an initial contact directly from Equestria, possibly followed by some kind of transfer between her essense and the pike-staff and a localised shard, the Spirit-who-is-not-Luna, waking up and accompanying the Company henceforth, while the real NMM keeps biding her time and is now waiting for the fragment to return to Equestria so she can absorb it and its gathered power.

>I am pretty staunch on "in the moon" banishment, where she could not have consciously done anything
I fully agree with that too, the idea that she'd be physically walking around on the moon is dumb, but IMO if her prison was weakening over time there's no reason why she might not have been able to briefly begin projecting and influencing the outside world even with her essense still imprisoned.
>>
>>43037504
In my mind, what sets Equestria apart from Earth is that suffering is not supposed to be a fact of life there. Evil ponies exist but they get their comeuppance, villains exist but a villain attack is an extraordinary occasion. Something like Coco being abused by Suri can be stopped simply by Coco getting brave enough to walk out, and the world is nice enough that when she does things work out for her and that is how Equestria works. And Suri existing is already something exceptional, unusual; stories or episodes like that are treated like small adventures, with a small-time villain du jour but nevertheless still a villain.

I haven't read Fog but the spoilered synopsis an anon posted above feels out of place to me because the stalker stallion is treated as just something that happens. The story is basically slice-of-life. AJ is just taking the train on a normal day, meets a normal pony who happens to be mentally ill and a stalker, has a terrible experience, and it's just life according to the world the story depicts: the stalker is not a villain, the story is not an adventure, it really is just slice of life and bad ponies exist as a matter of course. That's what makes it feel not like Equestria to me.
>>
>>43037504
Regarding the physical stuff, I'd say things like broken bones are normal, so when it comes to damage to ponies, that's about the level of what I'd expect. Broken bones, contussions, maybe some bad illness, or something like that.
If it veers too far into gory territory, then I have my doubts--unless I'm explicitly reading something advertised as horror or a dark thriller.
Other than that, I pretty much agree with >>43037843
I'd need to see a clear "Dark" tag, or "Alternate Universe" before I can suspend my disbelief and have ponies behave like the worst of humanity.
>>
File: popsicle 2.png (415 KB, 1580x1290)
415 KB
415 KB PNG
>>43037803
I don't want to take away from your enjoyment of the final chapter, so I'll say you can maintain that interpretation. The story doesn't account for every one of Luna's popsicle-minutes on the moon, so you can get away with technicalities. I don't think it was really her because for the parts where the story is clear, it's clear she's a copy.

Have fun!
>>
>>43037843
This is me and why I could never take Rainbow Factory seriously.
The one with Twilight teleporting and leaving a copy to go forward works almost better. Darkness as a consequence of something else, not darkness because ponies are rapists or all want to secretly kill Scootaloo because she's got that SCP power that makes ponies want to kill her or something.
>>
>>43037504
What I have gleamed from the responses to this post is that everyone in this thread is retarded and incapable of thinking abstractly beyond categories and relations.
>>
>>43038250
>he needed confirmation
Anon, you may have been retarded all along ...
>>
>>43038250
Please enlighten us, O mystic sage.
>>
>>43038250
Was there ever any doubt?
>>
File: 1748524623715737.gif (1.9 MB, 503x444)
1.9 MB
1.9 MB GIF
>>
>>43038984
Town bicycle
>>
I'll say that putting the cameo aside, The Big Lebowski is imo a good example of how far you can take shit while keeping the pony feel. Barring the Jesus sex offender bit, you could just swap the cast and setting to ponies and Equestria and it'd still fit for me, no need for an AU tag even with all the swearing, violence and sex.
What do you guys think
>>
>>43039420
What's the Equestrian equivalent of a White Russian?
>>
>>43039430
Pale griffon.
See griffons are Russians because the whole fandom thought they were going to be some badass rival nation to Equestria but instead they're a destitute crumbling shithole inhabited by miserable assholes.
>>
>>43039448
I don't see any connection to real world politics Walter
>>
>>43039556
You don't see a lot of things.
>>
>>43039448
>a destitute crumbling shithole inhabited by miserable assholes
But enough about Fimfic.
>>
>>43039679
Hey now, I'm happy with myself.
>>
>>43033746
>Rainbow opens the book to a particular page. "Cause Daring Do talks about how Southern Cross saved her from being raped by natives and finding a weird creature they take down."
>'Ah, I see you edited it a bit Daring.' Blitz thinks. "Still not seeing why it's a big deal, I mean it is fantasy." Blitz says.
Kek. Wild all that happens in the first chapter, but I guess that's what a 77k chapter gets you.

>>43034567
> I have no idea what it's like now
It's the same. He's currently in the middle of the "I have to move out of my apartment because my rent's going up 50%" arc. Most recent chapter was about cutting up hundred year old furniture his mother imported from Italy because Ebay wouldn't let him sell it.

>>43036018
>spoiler
Why does the monster do all that? There's no reason to create a cliche horror setting if it can skinwalk as Octavia. It's like it's going out of its way just for the lulz. Reminds me of that Flash Sentry horror fic where Twibomination screwed around for a few decades as canon just because.

>>43037504
>What is the most you're willing to accept when it comes to darker topics?
I'm not in the "not pony-like enough" faction of the thread and both put up with a lot and have some pretty dark writing myself, but Redheart's War's "throw the POWs in the ocean and watch them drown" war crime still pissed me off and felt like a deep betrayal of what Equestria should be.

>>43038223
>not darkness because ponies
Reminder that the "canon" explanation for why that spell is so retarded is because an evil unicorn intentionally designed it that way.
>>
File: 3611629.jpg (1.34 MB, 2048x2048)
1.34 MB
1.34 MB JPG
>>
>>43040148
Can't blame Filthy for crushing on such a cutie.
>>
File: 2142735.jpg (392 KB, 1200x826)
392 KB
392 KB JPG
Unspeakable atrocities with no red tags, in
>/FSBC/

I am not sure what I expected, but this was not it. Well, to be fair to the fic, I wouldn't say it's bad yet—but, most certainly, it is never what I expect it to be. I found myself more than willing to go along with it for now, but after reading 2/3 of it, I'm not sure the plot ever really had a goal in mind. We're tossing and turning every which way, settling into story threads that seem like setting the direction for the fic to take—only to be subverted the very next chapter.

Skipping ACW was good. But the Foil 'arc' came to such an abrupt stop that it's no wonder Erranax was thrown off the cliff alongside the readers. Then he stumbles into Fluttershy, and it seems like the fic will fulfill the implicit promise of its tags by starting a redemption arc. Only, he doesn't, and instead he immediately picks up Flutters to go with him on the quest. That goes on for about half a chapter before we turn again, this time because of him callously poisoning to death dozens of guards and an entire train's worth of ponies just to cover his escape.
It was at this point that I realized I could make no inferences about the fic's direction, and the tags are of no help. So when, following his massive ponicide, we get back to what seems to be the redemption arc with FS, I didn't even bat an eye. Nor was I surprised when it was interrupted by on-screen changeling sex. We're back to Fluttershy now? I have no idea. That arc seems extremely unlikely now, but there isn't anywhere else for the story to go.

However, despite all of that, I remain invested in the fic. The writing is pleasant, and the quick pacing actually did a lot to liven up the bug's internal monologuing habits. Taken in the vacuum, the middle part of the fic was perhaps more fun than the first despite the linguistic novelty wearing off. There is less language nerdery, too, but the titles and how they're used in the chapters are still very fun. So is the alien perspective. Even now, the sense of wrongness and alien culture of the changelings comes through very strongly. Unfortunately, some of that wrongness also applies to the ponies. While some of it could be excused as his biased perspective, several scenes feel like they don't belong in a non-AU fic—from the random tangent about human-like family trips at the start to the bloodthirsty farmer at the end.
Also, since I like to note those things, this week delivered two words I genuinely had to look up: "trenchant" and "inutile"! Both are quite nice; the former for the sharp sound that matches its meaning, and the latter for its simplicity and clarity. The use of "I ejaculated" as a said tag in the sex scene was funny, I'll give him that. In general, there's quite a lot of entertaining writing in this fic, goodness of the story aside.

Celestia only knows what will happen next. Regardless, we'll be seeing this story to completion next week. No voting because Her Soldiers, We was already voted on.
>>
>>43040379
>I wouldn't say it's bad yet
That's surprising to me. I dropped the fic last week, so I'm just going off of what you wrote; but you make it sound like the plot is a disaster.
>>
File: 562964.gif (248 KB, 400x400)
248 KB
248 KB GIF
>>43040590
>the plot is a disaster
"Disaster" is too much. I'd say it struggles to hold a direction, but any random chapter you could pick would read well—it's just that they have a problem with consistently building a story. If you try to read this fic just for the plot alone, then yes, I'd say that makes it bad. However, the other parts of the story are still holding up well. The changeling perspective and the language playfulness in the writing were clearly communicated as major points of focus, and they remain that in week two. That works about as well as in the first third. It's fun and unique. In spite of its flaws, I've yet to be bored by a chapter. The relative lack of errors helps, too.
After week 1, I was going to leave a like on the fic for attempting something unusual and doing it well enough. Now, though, I am much more neutral on the story.
>>
Whatcha writing
>>
>>43040379
I read up to the aftermath of the train scene, just to see if it was any better this go-around. It wasn't.
I did continue liking the parts I did read, other than that, though. The prose is really good at evoking moods; not the grammatical ones, but emotional ones. Wonder, excitement, fear and various kinds of tension.
I also really liked the games the prose was playing with the lantern light during the train search, and the trippy visuals with Foil's eyes. But Foil's death is unbelievable and incredibly disappointing. I hate how the story fails to say anything meaningful about how it happens. He just keels over after Errenax's ineffectual struggle.
Going back to last week's reading, I remembered having a lot of fun with the grammar lessons, and like you said, Errenax's alien perspective is just a ton of fun and really engaging.

Anyway, I'm going to pull on of my moves now. If someone wanted to read the relatively normal, good part of the story, they should stop at the chapter where Foil kicks Errenax off the cliff. That is kinda boring, the story does little to reward you for going further. It does do some things: to the club readers who are in it for the schizo part of the fic, I'm going to compare this to Sunrise. You should simply drop the story at the point where it pisses you off: it's delivered most of the "good" crazy shit and most of the rest of the story is bad crazy shit. It is bad in several ways, but mostly in that it is a series of increasingly unbelievable character interactions just to continue the story. You could be reading Tuna! Or the next club fic!

>>43040667
You, however, should drop the story on Indicative. Indicative is the genuine appropriate end for the fic. The epilogue is a devastation to everything preceding it in a very comparable way to the epilogue of Bug. The author, even, knowing this, gives you one last chance to drop the story at the top of the epilogue, and you should take it. It's one of the main reasons the story doesn't have a pool of red tags, and the most egregious missing tag of all, [Tragedy].
>>
File: funny words.png (22 KB, 658x255)
22 KB
22 KB PNG
>>43040871
Complete and utter nonsense.
>>
>>43033746
Maximum kek.
>>
>>43040871
Some miserable ponies. They’re so unhappy that this is guaranteed to turn out a great story.
>>
>>43037843
>tfw this anon will downvote your fic if you don't go out of your way to frame a malicious pony as something completely abnormal and fantastical
>>
>>43040981
Autists are cryptids in Equestria.
>>
>>43040981
NTA but if your fic had a rapist and ponies' reaction to it was just "yeah he's the town rapist, what to do about it" I also would.
>>
>>43041034
What does a rapist cutie mark look like?
>>
>>43041048
It's just the [Non-con] tag
>>
i read the opening to a story where a colt gets his cutie mark and the cutie mark looks like him fucking the shit out of celestia.
>>
>>43041325
Stop posting about The Only Mark That Matters every thread.
>>
>>43041379
I don't, I'm the anon that posts about weird things I find. last time i said i read a story where luna's newborn dies on the moon
>>
>>43040879
>If someone wanted to read the relatively normal, good part of the story
It is reasonable to say this, but with that strategy, I'm not sure the fic is ever worth recommending. The fic is mostly good up to that point; however, if you're not engaged with the cool things it's doing, reading just the first 40% is kind of a waste of time.
I cannot verify the second recommendation yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was more correct. If the train or the chapters at the farmer's house make someone drop it, at least he'd get a bit more of the good stuff that can be found here. Maybe it gets better later; perhaps it doesn't. I'll see about that next week. But if someone's interested in Subjunctive (which is probably only true for a relatively small fraction of people), it's not a good suggestion to stop before it "gets bad".
>drop the story on Indicative
I might do that, then. At the very least, I can write the post and judge the story based on everything up to that part. And if curiosity makes me open the epilogue, I'll try to not have it bias my opinion of the rest too heavily.
>>
>>43041466
>last time i said i read a story where luna's newborn dies on the moon
Was it based on that old art?
>>
>>43041633
Yes. I remember that fic and it sucks. It just never goes anywhere.
>>
>>43041034
Honestly that sounds like a hilarious crackfic.
>"Hi! My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I—"
>The earth pony raised an eyebrow. "You must be new here."
>"Why, yes! I just moved to Ponyville. I've made a few friends, but I'd like to make more."
>"Pleased to meet you, Twilight Sparkle. My name is Rough Stuff, and I'm Ponyville's town rapist."
>"Erm... I'm sorry, what? I didn't catch that."
>"Ponyville's town rapist. I rape ponies."
>Twilight drew back a little. "Um. I see. I don't think I've ever heard of anything like that before. Isn't that usually, you know, a bit illegal?"
>"Not for me. I'm a public servant. Ponyville passed a ballot initiative a few years ago—overwhelmingly, I might add—and created the position of town rapist. It's my sworn duty to rape Ponyville's residents."
>Twilight realized she was creeping backwards. "In that case, I think I need to be going—"
>"Don't worry, I'm not on the job right now. To tell the truth, being a rapist can be more boring than you might think. I can't just rape and run. I have to document everything. How did I choose my victim, how much resistance did they put up, what sex acts did I force them to do, what physical violence was involved, on and on."
>Twilight felt herself morbidly fascinated. "That's... very unusual."
>"Oh, for sure. The worst part, honestly, is the demographics. Ponies have things to do during the day. If I break into somepony's house in the morning and rape them, I might be keeping them from their dentist appointment, and they'd have to pay a missed appointment fee. That wouldn't be nice, would it? So I work at night. But then I can't always see who I'm raping. I'm supposed to rape equally. Same number of earth ponies as unicorns as pegasi, that kind of thing. Which mostly isn't too hard except for one thing. I can't tell how old they are in the dark. I'm supposed to rape middle aged ponies just as often as young adults (and the middle aged ones actually vote), but usually it's too dark to tell who's who until after I get started."
>"You could just not rape them?"
>He shook his head. "No, once I get started, it'd be rude to stop, you know? I have standards. When I interviewed—"
>"You interviewed for this?"
>"Sure did. Submitted references, passed a background check. You wouldn't want an actual criminal in this kind of position, you know? Last year, I went to the Equestrian Town Rapists Society's annual convention, and I was surprised to learn how lax some small towns are about this stuff. I grew up in Baltimare, and the whole city takes rape really seriously. There's a whole Department of Rape."
>"A whole department? I guess I've never been to Baltimare, but—"
>"It's small, but yeah. They share space with the Department of Traffic and Parking Enforcement."
>"Whoa. This is all really new to me and kind of... surprising."
>"Really? Where are you from?"
>"Canterlot."
>He nodded. "That would be why. They don't employ town rapists there. Her Majesty does all the raping herself."
>>
File: nonsensical chuckle.png (199 KB, 748x1080)
199 KB
199 KB PNG
>>43041763
>They share space with the Department of Traffic and Parking Enforcement.
Thanks for that, nonny.
>>
>>43041763
>Her Majesty does all the raping herself.
Kek
>>
Anybody else reading the clubfic but hasn't posted a review yet for whatever reason? I don't see any point to giving it another week if there's only 2 readers and one is asking people to stop and read something else
>>
>>43041892
>Anybody else reading the clubfic but hasn't posted a review yet for whatever reason?
Yeah, I'll post it at night or tomorrow
>>
>>43041663
Sorry, did you expect a fic about Luna's aborted moon baby to not suck?
>>
>>43042056
I mean it's more like
It starts with the baby dying and then it just meanders, Luna's back and she's all depressed but doesn't tell Celestia and it just goes on and on and goes nowhere.
>>
>>43042056
Well, yeah, of course. The baby's dead, so it can't suck Luna's teats. How is the fic supposed to suck if there's no sucking?
>>
>>43042153
Really it's not a good fic if Luna doesn't breastfeed somepony or, through actions, allow some other pony to breastfeed.
>>
>>43042164
It's not as important for her to help ponies breastfeed as it is for her to help Alex, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to suckle Celestia.
>>
>>43042181
Oh no, Alex doesn't WANT to suckle Celestia, but circumstances have simply made the entire suckling unavoidable. Like an oncoming milk truck.
>>
>>43042182
Alex, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to suckle Celestia, wants to suckle Celestia just as much as Travis, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to fuck Rarity, wants to fuck Rarity.
>>
>>43042203
Is it truly desire when the universe ensures you wanted to want it in the first place?
>>
>>43042181
>>43042182
>>43042203
Why are people saying I’m into cryptocurrency and want to suckle celestia?
>>
>>43040871
Slowly chipping away at my deadfic. I'm going to have to confront the reality that the climax sucks and there's nothing I can do about it because the story is too far along in development and it's become structural to the plot.
>>
>>43042272
>the climax sucks
Switch to vaginal
>>
>>43042276
>Switch to vaginal
Suicidal words to Luna and her followers.
>>
just finished synthetic bottled sunlight... it made me hard every time nightmare mockingly called twilight chubby. just imagining her tastefully pudgy mare belly and fat crotchtits really elevated the story for me

I also liked the rest of the writing in it but that's less important
>>
>>43042471
I like it when Twilight's insecure over her weight because she eats like a fucking pig.
>>
File: 293141.jpg (191 KB, 787x750)
191 KB
191 KB JPG
>>
>>43041034
>Equestria in Romania
>>
>>43041763
To be honest I think you've exhausted all of the humour in the idea in a single 3000 character post. Possibly even halfway through the post or so.
>>
>>43042164
>or, through actions, allow some other pony to breastfeed.
Well, TMA and ITCON are both fine then at least
>>
>>43042814
You're tempting me to go on.
>>
>Twilight loudly calls Shining her oniichan in the JP dub
So how popular is Sparklecest over there?
>>
that fucking muddy puddle fic again
it's even less coherent this time
>>
>>43043203
Holy kek, I think this version is even more autistic than the last.
>>
>>43043203
>muddypuddleverse
>>
File: 3418912.jpg (228 KB, 2048x1965)
228 KB
228 KB JPG
>>43042486
I like it when Twilight eats like a fucking pig but is confident about her weight and knows its allure
>>
I decided to skim through this part of a Utaan chapter when Skirts decided to talk about Dash's sexuality, but some of what Rarity and Pinkie said got a bit of a chuckle from me.
>>
File: Clear HPMOR Reference.png (254 KB, 1006x901)
254 KB
254 KB PNG
I checked in on r/hpmor and they're recommending TMA. But why have I never heard of Harry Potter and the Prancing of Ponies? It's a fucking HPMOR crossover!
>>
>>43043363
>rarity says "a filly who chooses to be frisky with other fillies"
>dash tries going all "there's no choice about it sweaty"
Rarichud is unironically correct, you can be attracted to anyone but who you actually get frisky with is always a choice
>>
>>43043203
Muddy Puddle guy and the guy that writes the bajillion shitty worm/MHA sunset shimmer crossovers should kiss.
>>
>>43043286
Nah, that bitch is a pile of insecurities and quarter pounders.
>>
>>43043406
See >>43041763
>>
>>43043483
I am fairly certain Rarity is specifically not talking about the case where another filly chooses to get frisky with you, so her wording is on point.
>>
File: chinese dress.jpg (3.95 MB, 2500x2000)
3.95 MB
3.95 MB JPG
>>43043406
Is that how you give yourself permission to read E [Romance] fics?
>>
File: valentines cadance.jpg (497 KB, 1602x2048)
497 KB
497 KB JPG
>>43043604
I don't even ask for permission, even from myself.
>>
>>43043604
Huh what
I genuinely don't get your point
>>
>>43043617
He thinks the judge will believe it was physically impossible for him to not touch those kids.
>>
File: nest of stars.png (329 KB, 1280x720)
329 KB
329 KB PNG
>>43043617
It's a common chud "rhetorical" device to claim being lesbian is a choice, the implication in the post is that Rainbow would not really be lesbian if she chooses not to have sex with mares, that she suppresses herself. My joke is that the poster suppresses himself by not reading the purest form of romance stories unless they are E, so that he can tell himself the marelove is platonic.
>>
>>43043607
>plot twist, the reporter has actually had a mutual crush on the camerastallion for years but never found the courage to speak up
>>
>>43043635
The post literally says
>you can be attracted to anyone
So I don't know how you decided that it's supposedly meant to imply the opposite. The point of the post is that Rainbow would not really have sex with mares if she chooses not to have sex with mares, that is it. And in particular it's poking fun at Rarity's choice of words and how all the other self-righteous ponies ignore it.

It's basically saying
>being a buttfucking sodomite is a choice, you know
>noo how insensitive, you don't choose who you're attracted to!
You don't HAVE to stretch your anus and that's basically what Rarity was saying, if taken literally.
Obviously that wasn't skirts's intention, but she does say that and it can be interpreted this way if desired.
>>
>>43043653
>You don't HAVE to stretch your anus
You need to see >>43041763, too
>>
>>43043653
Everything can be interpreted in bad faith if you ignore the context. This is obviously about the attraction and not the act itself.
>>
>>43043648
>plot twist: Cadance's magic retroactively changes reality so that the pony she wanted you to fall in love with always had feelings for you
>>
>>43043676
>Everything can be interpreted in bad faith if you ignore the context.
Not really. If Rarity had said "a filly who chooses to be attracted to other fillies" then there wouldn't be any other interpretations.
You can always twist meanings if you try enough, but at least the simplest literal interpretation is always in the author's control, because they choose the words they write down.
>This is obviously about the attraction and not the act itself.
Yes and I am obviously being facetious, it's clearly clear what skirts meant and the other characters react accordingly.
>>
>>43043673
>”alright every pony, line up and lift your tails”
>man I hate mandatory anus expansion day.”
>>
>>43043875
Sad worldbuilding fact: Due to the gender ratio in Equestria being 9-1 mares to stallions, no school has Penis Inspection Day.
>>
I'm writing a story where Twilight's parents become scared that Rainbow Dash is turning her into a lesbian and go spy on her
What ridiculously obscene faux pas should Dash commit in front of her parents that makes her obviously a lesbian.
>>
>>43043907
Eats a hay taco really messily.
>>
>keep starting side fics for no fucking reason
>>
>>43043878
The actual ratio as measured by the big chart that counted all ponies that appear is closer to 6-5 IIRC.
>>
>>43043930
the canon ratio is 1:1
>>
>>43043930
It's if you count adults. The ratio for kids skewed stronger because shit like Tempest's backstory is commonplace.
>>
>>43043907
Eating out Twilight in public
>>
>>43043907
Calls Twi's mom hot
>>
Night Light and Twilight Velvet are prim and proper, respectable Canterlot ponies. What will they think when a member of their daughter's friend group is a raging lesbian. A flaming bulldyke - a supersappho if you will. It's Rainbow Dash.
(Twi's parents meet M6 in Canterlot)
(Rainbow Dash's faux pas here)
Night Light immediately stiffened, and through his stilted smile he shared a nervous glance with his wife. They bid all present here good day and returned to their home.
"She better not try anything with our Twilight. That's all I'm saying."
NL: "Perhaps we're overreacting. There's only one of them in her friend group. Maybe she's just a one-off. A weirdo, didn't you know any weirdos in graduate school?"
"But, honey, even just knowing one is a temptation"
Twilight's parents always had an anxiety in the back of their heads that she would turn out sexually deviant, since she never expressed any interest in colts, only books, for 20 years. They had once discussed this before and came to the conclusion that they couldn't possibly know if she was seeing someone as she spent much of her time out of the house studying at the library. They hoped Twilight was having a secret affair with a good colt, preferrably, a noble unicorn which was as much as they could hope for. Twilight Velvet took a day off work, donned a trench coat, fedora, and a nifty pair of sunglasses, and followed Twilight into the library. After 8 hours of reading books and watching Twilight Sparkle out of the corner of her eye, she thought about returning home.
Twilight's parents, recalling this, locked eyes. Twilight Velvet sighed.
"I'll ask when I can take off work next week."
Outcomes
Twilight admits she doesn't like Rainbow Dash and is repulsed by her lesbian ways.
Twilight was in fact converted into a lesbian, and the main six is RD's polycule.
Twilight is not a lesbian, but a series of hilarious coincidences and Velvet's misinterpretations makes her think she is
>>
>>43043907
Eating out Twilight on the dinner table.
>>
>>43043907
be seen exiting a building with a mysterious clear fluid on her hands and hooves.
>>
>>43040379
This may be super late, but it wouldn't be right to leave this week's portion without a write-up.

The chapters with the lessons were nice, but I'm glad they ended quickly and we got to the aftermath of the attack. I liked the falling out with Foil, very tense and dramatic. Foil's angry monologue being completely in subjunctive is the cherry on top.

My favorite chapter was probably the short one where Errenax began to figure out his new plan and manipulate Fluttershy, as this was sort of a turning point that really hammered home what kind of person Errenax truly is. Even after getting humbled, he is still cunning and cowardly above anything else, and isn't looking to be redeemed any time soon. Which is good: I enjoy this kind of villain, a weasel always a few steps away from failure, but managing just to worm their way out every time.

The narrative style remains mostly fine, but does get tiring at points: Errenax loves taking his time rambling about whatever, and this can get pretty grating when it's something that doesn't advance the story. But maybe that's more the fault of trying to binge the whole story in three weeks, it might read better when taken in smaller chunks. The one outlier is the train chase sequence, where the prose is far too purple to convey the actual events. I'm still not sure if Foil actually died, if the tunnel actually caved in, and if anyone on the train survived, and Fluttershy seems determined to not provide any answers afterward.

(1/2)
>>
>>43044066
Some minor things:
>I'm glad the second train scene does finally mention the impact of a train's sound of Errenax
>his sudden joy from the train ride seems a little rushed, but then again, the memoir style this is imitating doesn't always have satisfying pacing either
>with how prominent the musings on changelings' TF ability become in Errenax's narration at this point, it's all the stranger that the first few chapters describing his early life barely made any mentions of it; it's technically plausible, but still hampers the immersion
>I liked the flowery sex scene, but not how the plot stops for the next 3k words to try and throw a hasty romance together. What is Fluttershy thinking during this time? "Huh, Errenax sure is taking a long time killing that changeling... well, it's probably nothing". The intense battle scene later makes up for it though

And I would say the unpredictability here a feature rather than a bug... At least for now, until I may see what all of this was meant to be leading up to. I still wonder what Fluttershy's real role in the story could be.

(2/2)
>>
>>43044070
Oh, and I forgot to mention my favorite sentence
>As I watched her, I could feel immobility and impotence wrapping the slender stalks of their i’s round my body and squeezing me till I became nearly breathless.
>>
>>43043907
Eating out Twilight in a taco costume.
>>
>>43043907
Getting frisky with a filly (she's playing with Scootaloo in the snow (playing as in oral))
>>
>>43043907
>"Let me tell ya, Twi's mind goes to wrong places sometimes. Did I tell you about that time she was reading some egghead book as I was coming and we smashed each other so hard she passed out? What kind of pony reads at a time like this? Well, at least she wasn't groaning for long after that, I won her over with the good ol' RD charm and a bit of silver tongue of my part. That's the benefits of friendship with a pony like Twilight for ya!"
>>
>>43043907
Going to U-Haul
>>
>"I like to go fast, but Twilight taught me sometimes it's better to take it slow."
>>
>>43044078
>>43044049
>>43044018
Night Light and Velvet were out on the town one night in Canterlot when eagle eyed Velvet spotted Twi with a group of strange mares. Twilight hasn't had the time to properly introduce her new friends since the whole nightmare moon thing. They retire to a recommended restaurant
Rainbow Dash suddenly out of nowhere ducks her head under Twi and slams her on the table before eating her out
Twilight Velvet bursts into tears from the shame and Night Light tries to conjure a curtain to no avail. They are banned from the restaurant and kicked from their social clubs as word spreads around that their daughter is a dyke. Princess Celestia reprimands Twilight Sparkle and Dash has to pay a fine for public indecency. Night Light and Twilight Velvet no longer can meet each other's eyes, divorce, and move from Canterlot to escape the shame. They never speak to Twilight again...
>>
File: IMG_4908.png (1.29 MB, 3458x3320)
1.29 MB
1.29 MB PNG
>>43043907
I want a fic where rainbow professes that she’s a
F

A

G

G

O

T

but nobody takes her seriously and treats her like a rebellious child and this makes her feel humiliated and belittled but she realizes she really likes being treated like that and feeling like that and then falls in love with a stallion that learns about this and uses it to seduce her and she stops being interested in faggotry.
>>
>>43044160
i just want a fic with a semi-homophobic character who isn't primarily an antagonist.
>>
>>43044178
>celestia:”total faggot death”.
>”ack!”
>and then all the faggots died
>the end
There is that satisfactory?
>>
>>43044186
no, that's too homophobic. it has to be semi
>>
I want a fic.
>>
File: lunabats.jpg (1.06 MB, 2458x4096)
1.06 MB
1.06 MB JPG
>>43044203
>>43031006
>>
>>43044203
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/314882/my-fluttering-heart
>>
>>43044218
Mommy!
>>
>>43044203
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/500819/
>>
File: alex 2.png (56 KB, 865x268)
56 KB
56 KB PNG
>>43042181
>types this
>suddenly it updates again with this
Bro your powers of prophecy?
>>
>>43044178
I have a fic with a pedophile who isn't an antagonist if you want.
>>
>>43044439
yeah, i'd take that too.
>>
>>43044222
that was good
>>
>>43044203
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/587901/
>>
>>43044421
I just started reading this fic and only after seeing this post did I experience gnosis.
>>
>>43044635
>I just started reading this fic
You really shouldn't. There's plenty of baby momlestia fics out there that aren't multi-chapter justifications for why Celestia is breastfeeding an adult human man named Alex. I'm sure some of them even still have breastfeeding inside them!
>>
multiple sunset mud puddle fics
meanwhile that fic (You) like will never update
>>
>>43044638
>”the fic couldn’t possibly have such a significant portion of its duration revolve around such a subject, right?” He said to himself as he continued to read.
>>
>>43044638
And lo and behold, some of them do!
>>
>>43044652
The fucking crux of this thing's plot is that Alex, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to suckle Celestia, HAS to suckle Celestia because if he doesn't he will die. Like the fic makes up a significant amount of pony biology headcanons entirely to justify why Alex, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to suckle Celestia, will in fact be suckling Celestia and not a) another more appropriately sucklable mare or b) just drinks some fucking formula.
>>
File: IMG_4450.png (178 KB, 500x516)
178 KB
178 KB PNG
>>43044654
>>
>>43044659
I'm sincerely confused. What qualities would make a more appropriately sucklable mare more appropriately sucklable? Celestia is the biggest, so by the space ork rules her milk should, logically, be the bestest and appropriatestest.
>>
>>43044686
Milky Way would have a lot to say about that.
>>
>>43044654
>Celestia, who does not understand cryptocurrency and doesn't understand how breastfeeding works.
>>
>>43044654
Who's the lucky filly?
>>
>>43044738
Alessandra, who is into etsy handicrafts, and wants to suckle on Celestia's teats.
>>
>>43044767
Somehow it's less bad if it's a girl
>>
>>43044767
Should have been Alexa, who spies on you and wants to suckle on Celestia's teats
>>
>>43044824
based and correct
>>
>>43043907
>ridiculously obscene faux pas
I take it this is the climatic punchline after a whole fic of misunderstandings and gay paranoia? If so, sex on a public beach with Blossomforth. You get the obscene gay comedy + confirmation that Dash finds characters that look like both Twilight and her mom hot.

>>43044654
Reminds me of that screenshot from the Shining Armor rape baby fic where Twilight casually tells the newborn to stop trying to suckle her teats.

>>43044686
I'm not 100% on horse biology and I'm not about to add it to my google history, but I assume the sucklebility of a mare's teats are directly tied to the estrus cycle and there would be wet nurses more "qualified" to handle a newborn.
>>
>>43044852
>I'm not 100% on horse biology and I'm not about to add it to my google history
Coward.

>but I assume the sucklebility of a mare's teats are directly tied to the estrus cycle and there would be wet nurses more "qualified" to handle a newborn.
There are most certainly cutie marks for that.
>>
>>43044852
>Reminds me of that screenshot from the Shining Armor rape baby fic
Which one? There's quite a lot of Shining Armor rape baby fics. The guy's just built for it or something.
>>
>>43044738
Luna, obviously.
>>
>>43044885
well he is the character in the show most likely to have been raped.
>>
>>43044890
No no, in Equestria all couples wait until marriage, even imposters.
>>
>>43044891
amogus in equestria
>>
File: big princess of the night.png (2.26 MB, 2412x2500)
2.26 MB
2.26 MB PNG
>>
File: Spoiler Image (362 KB, 1254x1020)
362 KB
362 KB JPG
>>43044890
No
>>
>ITCON
Finally finished it. Well, fuck.
Massive spoilers of course, I'm not putting the entire post in a spoiler tag.

I think, in many ways, I went into the fic with the wrong expectations (or built them early on). One of them that I formed in the first few chapters was that it was going to be a world-hopping adventure, and then about a third of the way through or so I realised they probably really were just going to be sitting in Tambelon for the entire story and was mildly disappointed, but it is what it is.
Another and bigger one was that as it was quickly revealed that the Company were effectively Lunarists, or descendants of Lunarists, I firmly expected that by the end of the story they'd finally return to Equestria and reclaim their rightful place by the throne of the Princess of the Night. The last two chapter names I saw in the table of contents, "Coming Home" and "To Luna", only helped seal this impression right from the start of the story.
That was obviously my mistake, but I only really started to suspect something was wrong when I my ereader told me I was 90% of the way through and I was still in the middle of a drawn-out arc with the Company deeply invested in random irrelevant skirmishes in rural Tambelon, with no sign of moving out.

The ending, such as it is, is honestly excellent, and mechanically it wraps up the story and its world very nicely. I was kind of wondering towards the end how all the plotlines would get resolved, and Mitch handled it very very well.
But I cannot help but feel bittersweet. Yes, everything is (mostly) happy, but... but. But the Company will never meet Luna, not in whole. But Feufollet says she will probably never meet Luna. But the Third Thestral Batallion is dead, explicitly called out as dead and gone. I don't know why, but that last one makes me particularly sad - the early story made a big deal of the lost history of the Company, and I kind of went in with the hope of a big happy ending where Luna comes back and her wayward Company returns home and its original purpose is finally fulfilled. Not necessarily in a bloody vengeance, maybe tamed, reformed, reshaped into something better, but still carrying the core loyalty to their Princess, to the Night, and coming home. But instead the sad remnants of the "old ways" go mad with lust for power, self-immolate, and the new Company isn't just a tamed loyalist batallion, but explicitly distances itself from the old Third and considers itself something different, as far as I gather. History erased and legacy extinguished, reduced to a warband carrying around an egregor effigy of the "Princess", shunning their origins and quarantining themselves from Equestria.
>>
>>43045463
And the souls of the Company, the centuries of deaths in the service, cannot even be returned to Equestria either. What are "the stars in her mane", if "she" is nothing but a manifestation of the Company's own magic, not even an actual fragment of Luna but rather apparently a completely independent manifestation from old memories and feelings? The Third Thestral, and the loyalists of the night for centuries, will never again be reunited with their Princess. You might say, oh they were traitors, followers of the Nightmare, who would bring destruction to Equestria just for a chance of vengeance. But even if Obscured Blade is an echo of the true face of the Company in the early days, if they were all cultist fanatics bent on destruction and revenge at any cost, then what of everypony since? What of the many deaths in the service of the Spirit, what of Sawbones? The Nightmare of the pike-staff is herself tamed and harmless, just a more assertive and theatrical version of the "Princess" aspect. Based on the epilogue, we are to believe that there are no plans of reuniting them with the Princess, of returning to its rightful place that which has been collected for a millenium awaiting her return.

It's not a tragic ending, and on the surface of it is even a mostly good ending for everyone still alive. But it feels very bittersweet to me, if not just outright bitter, with the erasure of history and the apparent abandonment of even the idea of reuniting the Company, in its entirety, with its rightful Princess.

Actually unironically almost reminds me of the feeling of finishing TMA, except there it was intentional and here it is not and is possibly to a large degree my own fault for having erroneous expectations. To me, in some ways it's even more bitter than TMA's ending - there at least nothing was truly lost, other than the opportunity for vengeance.

Also on another note, after reading the end I still think the first appearance of NMM was indeed a projected fragment of the real one, whatever the Spirit afterwards might be. Her saying she's unable to take it all in too quickly perfectly matches with the idea that Luna would be unable to safely take in the pike-staff's magic, either. Whereas the Spirit immediately starts walking around the Company and its dreams and by all appearances emanating from the pike-staff itself, which doesn't really match the idea of being "unable to take in" or even touch the staff.
>>
>>43045422
You ever think Twilight Velvet and Night Light are embarrassed? One kid is a chubby autistic, one kid is a rape victim, and one kid is Spike.
>>
>>43044659
Do Celestia's teats secrete Marecoin or something?
>>
>>43045627
Ambrosia, I assume. It would explain Twilight and Sunset's high level of power.
>>
>>43044716
If she was real
>>
>>43045612
one kid is the captain of the royal guard who ended up marrying an alicorn princess and became the father of the first ever natural born alicorn. the other is princess celestia's personal pupil who became an alicorn princess in her own right and has helped save equestria on many occasions. they have reason to be the proudest parents in equestria.
>>
File: small luna with scroll.png (921 KB, 1778x2247)
921 KB
921 KB PNG
>>43045698
That is true, but no matter how many other characters are in a Spike episode, it's still a Spike episode.
>>
File: price cardboard sketch.jpg (255 KB, 866x1024)
255 KB
255 KB JPG
>>
>>43046024
>One of the worst part about this fic is that it implies that celestia is deriving all of her knowledge of caring for a foal from a single book she just bought.
Which is especially funny because the first chapter established she has effectively raised other kids in the past.
>>
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/577274/8/first-steps-again/8-new-homes

One of the worst parts about this fic is that it implies that celestia is deriving all of her knowledge of caring for a foal from a single book she just bought.
in other fics she would have been written to have been getting it by cross referencing her entire lifetime of accumulated knowledge about the subject with a synthesized collection of all of the best contemporary information in combination with her high iq common sense, alicorn supercharged motherly intuition, and the advice and aid of her exceptional friends and family.
It is a good example of the continual degradation of the fandoms ability to reasonably interpolate how to construct a story from pre-existing external data. Whether that be real life or the show or the accumulated fandom knowledge.
The serpent constricts inwards as it swallows more of its own tail.
>>
>>43046053
To be fair the book is titled So You're A Victim Of Isekai: Everything You Need To Know About Wiping The Ass Of A Twenty Year Old Man
>>
Nothing brings us together like shitting on a bad fic.
>>
>>43046239
A dream. A dream to run where the brave dare not go.
>>
>>43046254
Repost
>>
>>43046278
>fic published in 2011
>2015 prologue
>2025 chapter 1
>"Rewrite coming soon."
>description still written in poor English
>>
>>43046330
AI has no chance of recreating this amount of sovl.
>>
File: watercolor catgrin.jpg (3.87 MB, 3024x4032)
3.87 MB
3.87 MB JPG
>>
>>43046330
This level of based shouldn't even be possible
>>
>>43043907
Twilight trips and fully inserts her horn into dash.
>>
>>43046852
Again?
>>
>>43047049
Dash is very penetrable.
>>
File: IMG_4920.png (687 KB, 1080x1920)
687 KB
687 KB PNG
I updated the fic list. Sorry for not doing it for a while. If this happens again I’ll see if anyone else is willing to do it.
And the number is off, subjunctive is 161 not 167.
>>
Has anyone else ever looked through their read later bookshelf and wondered “why the fuck did i ever put some of these in here?”
>>
>>43047203
I don't put things in my bookshelf
>>
>>43047133
>That evening, as Twilight and Rainbow Dash were walking home after a party at Pinkie Pie's house, Twilight tripped over a stone. "Oh!" she cried as she stumbled. She tried to catch herself but lost her balance and crashed head-first into Rainbow Dash.
>Rainbow Dash screamed as Twilight's horn plunged into her flank. It speared her just below the ribcage, and as Twilight fell, her weight drove her horn forehead-deep into Rainbow Dash and knocked her over.
>Suddenly Twilight Velvet and Night Light jumped out of a dark alley. Twilight Velvet screamed, "You disgusting dyke!"
>Twilight, dazed, removed her horn from Rainbow Dash's side. Fountains of blood gushed from the hole. Rainbow Dash tried to cover the hole with her hoof. "I'm bleeding out!" she shrieked.
>Twilight Velvet yelled, "It serves you right! Any mare who gets stabbed by another mare's horn is sick!"
>"Help!" whined Rainbow Dash, who was on the verge of passing out.
>"Yeah, I'll help you," muttered Night Light. "I'll rape the gay out of you!" Night Light thrust his throbbing erection into Rainbow Dash's bleeding hole. "After this, you won't ever corrupt another mare ever again!"
>Twilight wiped the blood from her horn and said, "Mom? Dad? What's going on?"
>The blood spurting from Rainbow Dash's wound lubricated Night Light's cock and helped him jam it ever deeper into Rainbow Dash's organs. "Don't worry, Twilight. After I take care of her, we'll take you to a bar, get you drunk, and make you fuck a dozen stallions. You'll be just like every other mare."
>"Please," whispered Rainbow Dash as the light went out of her eyes.
>Twilight said, "Dash? Dashie? Dashie!" She screamed. Rounding on her father, face covered in blood and tears, she yelled, "What the fuck did you just do!"
>Twilight Velvet turned up her muzzle and said, "Your father fixed her. She's better off now."
>"How could you say that? She's dead!"
>"Of course she is. But at least she's not a lesbian anymore."
>>
>>43047177
You missed the first week of Jinglemas fics. That's why the count is off.
>>
File: woona dessert.jpg (123 KB, 1079x1080)
123 KB
123 KB JPG
>>
>write self indulgent slop
>realize i'm going to have this kind of scene in another fic
>can't decide if I'm fine just being the guy writing this kind of slop or not
>>
>>43043363
This is my personal equivalent of a writer translating Applejack's accent to its fullest
>>
File: Image.jpg (1.18 MB, 1170x5155)
1.18 MB
1.18 MB JPG
>>43047347
No I didn’t. It’s cause some op fucked it up and skipped ahead by seven.
>>
>>43047542
>writing something
>realize I've got the opportunity to use an idea I've been reserving for another story
>now I get to write it twice and emphasize or explore different parts of it in each
>>
>>43047593
We had a slow thread those weeks.
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/42927705/#42952566
You're missing:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/585979/rise-up-out-of-the-trenches
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/490710/an-old-tradition
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/586167/spitting-contest
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/585358/when-father-made-the-snow
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/586119/masquerade
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/586264/sweet-antidotes
>>
File: IMG_4950.jpg (1.04 MB, 1670x1170)
1.04 MB
1.04 MB JPG
>>43047603
God fucking dammit
Alright it’s fixed
>>
currently writing the most retarded fic I've ever put to pen
>>
>>43047615
Nuh uh, I'm doing that! It's semi-humanized too so I automatically win.
>>
>>43047626
>spoiler
Which half?
>>
>>43047637
The left one.
>>
>>43047626
What's the difference between semi-humanized and anthro?
>>
File: circle cycle.jpg (1.21 MB, 2000x2300)
1.21 MB
1.21 MB JPG
>>43047644
When the author forgets to convert words like arm, hand and hair.
>>
>>43047644
Humans with wings and magic versus hooves-art
>>
>>43045494
This is purely my headcanon, but I imagine Luna might want to go meet them at some point, or else they might want to send a few of their people as ambassadors now that she's finally back. IIRC Tambelon and Equestria are basically right next door now due to the opening of the new route. I forget what the specific rules are for keeping the pikestaff from blowing everything up, but apparently it's okay to send the Cakes over.

>But Feufollet says she will probably never meet Luna
Did they know, at the time, that NMM's banishment was ending in only 10 years or so?
>>
Nobody ever wants to suckle Luna...
>>
File: pumpkin spice jacket.jpg (119 KB, 1079x1080)
119 KB
119 KB JPG
>>43044066
>Foil's angry monologue being completely in subjunctive is the cherry on top.
That's a great observation, I didn't notice it. And, reading it again, I like that it makes the made-up changeling language seem more possible. Since it's only ever described to contrast it from Equuish thematically, I never imagined it could be real, not in the way a conlang might be created with some thought to its actual use. But the idea of asking a lot of what-if questions with really obvious answers does technically seem like a way to talk, since the only main issue with it is that it's rude.

>I'm still not sure if Foil actually died
This pissed me off a lot, before the story gave me much worse things to be pissed off about. Yes, he died, but only because Errenax unfoundedly says he died in the next chapter and you have to read the rest of the story to see he never thinks about him afterwards. I think you can, in retrospect, assume it was from smoke inhalation, which means the rest of them died, too. Not that any of that particularly makes sense, either.
>>
>>43047683
Statistically every foal that's ever suckled Luna has died.
>>
File: nmm power.gif (2.1 MB, 300x400)
2.1 MB
2.1 MB GIF
>>43045494
It's bittersweet, strongly enough to still make me choke up thinking about how Feufollet must have felt writing that letter, how Carrot Cake must have felt carrying it, and how Luna must've felt reading it.
I did also think that they would end up in Equestria at the end, and I got the same sinking feeling when I saw the progress and that they weren't going to make it by the end of the fic. Even so, it was an incredible ending and I absolutely believe it would've been worse if they found some magicbabble way to subvert the establishment of the overcharged pike-staff. In a way, it's also a metaphor for how the Company itself is incompatible with Equestria. That they couldn't deliver the the pike-staff is another way of saying they couldn't deliver themselves. Luna has no need of the Black Company as it exists at the end of the story in Equestria, integrating them would have been a different kind of betrayal of their legacy.
>>
>>43030999
i am so sad nobody ever writes good gay fics anymore
>>
>>43047743
We are just too straight. You write better when you write about the things you know.
>>
>out of nowhere have a desire to read a good young adult/teen Spike x CMCs story that contains some smut
>fimfic results show only either rape/non-con shit, or "Spike fucks half of the ponyvile as his personal harem" shit
damn, I guess it sucks to be me, if anybody happens to have a recommendation to share for it (or even a greentext) I would really appreciate it.
>>
>>43047743
There were never any good gay fics faggot
>>
>>43047673
The letter says they expect the pikestaff to be too dangerous to ever bring to Luna personally. They also say that once Luna is back and has stabilised and found herself after her return, she should send a message and they will send ambassadors yes, so they do expect the banishment to end soon. Feufollet explicitly says she has "too much of the Nightmare in her" and wouldn't go.

>>43047726
Yeah makes sense.
>integrating them would have been a different kind of betrayal of their legacy.
I somewhat disagree there, I guess it's a matter of definitions. To me, the legacy of the Black Company is to be in loyal service of the Night; before the war it meant serving the diarchy, during the war it meant fighting Celestia, after the defeat it meant wandering the Chain in the guise of mercenaries and keeping memories and traditions alive, after Dar-al-Hisan it meant clinging to the few memories and traditions that survived even if most were erased, and upon Luna's return it could mean laying down arms and coming back to worship their Princess in a peaceful and finally quiescent Equestria. Or remaining a military Company in the service of Equestria for the purposes of exploration of long-range worlds or whatever.

I also don't think it would've been a "subversion" if there was hope of reuniting the essenes of the pike-staff with its rightful mistress. They could've just said, oh when Luna returns and regains her strength, then she will be able to take it in and handle it and give all of the ponies whose lives were spent their rightful place as stars in Her mane, not some spirit or apparition but in the real Princess's one. That the story chooses to say that no, apparently that will never be possible and the staff is simply too powerful for even an alicorn to ever properly handle is really just layered on for extra tragic effect.

But, well. I agree that it's still a good ending, for what it set out to do.
>>
File: nmm blast.jpg (2.61 MB, 2177x3048)
2.61 MB
2.61 MB JPG
>>
ponies
and stories about them
>>
>>43048622
Horse words if you will
>>
>>43048633
Equestrian Epics, some may say.
>>
File: cat yell.jpg (444 KB, 3144x2772)
444 KB
444 KB JPG
>>43048205
I prefer to think of it in terms of how they've become what they want to be. Their Spirit isn't Luna, but she is /their/ Spirit, they both created each other. To an Equestrian, their Spirit is a knockoff, but to them, she's a better fit than Luna herself. And again, they aren't that religious, so "Hey, let's worship the real Luna!" only carries weight until they see she wants them to stop being the only thing they know how to be, an organized band of killers.
ITCON also doesn't imply that they could integrate in Equestria. Carrot has all the typical veteran issues, and he isn't a generational Company soldier. They're starting to experiment with the idea of setting down, but Tambelon is a much more favorable environment for that.
>>
>>43047542
Who cares about slop being self-indulgent. You've got people publishing RGRE. Professional writers publish big ball baby.

Forget shame, just do it wel.
>>
File: princess pout.png (1.49 MB, 1920x1080)
1.49 MB
1.49 MB PNG
>>
File: nmm horsey.jpg (376 KB, 1000x946)
376 KB
376 KB JPG
>>
File: nmm chromatic aberration.png (1.84 MB, 1370x1100)
1.84 MB
1.84 MB PNG
>>
File: exactly.png (59 KB, 588x476)
59 KB
59 KB PNG
Kinda dead today.
>>
NEW RunicTreetops!!!
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/587954/1/a-nap-on-the-grass/a-nap-on-the-grass
>>
>>43049705
RunnyTreeSlops
>>
>>43049705
Jewnigjeetslops
>>
>>43049705
I like his stuff when there's not a green ape, like the one with the OC who wants to fuck evil mares.
>>
>>43049705
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/581572/dressed-in-dappled-gold
Here, have a vastly superior fic about napping on grass.
>>
>>43049705
>anon
Didn't even bother to finish reading the description. I flipped through his profile to see why he's even being linked here and this one was pretty good, at least: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/579274/but-can-you
>>
>>43049770
He gets mentioned here because (1) he’s prolific and (2) he’s popular. Nobody here is either, so he makes them seethe.
>>
>>43049759
>she/they
Disliked, deleted tab, obligatory insult for linking it
>>
>>43049817
Here, have a different fic about grass: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/107590/
>>
I did that thing again where I accidentally wrote "anypony" in a non-pony story.
>>
>>43046067
On the other hand the best part about this fic was probably the discord moments. His characterization was executed fairly competently.
The author also introduced an idea about chaos magic that I thought was interesting. That the products of chaos magic can only continue to persist so long as they are chaotic relative to their context and those observing it. Mainly discord. If he stops perceiving his own creations as being chaotic, they stop existing. This being a function of both his own consciousness choice and his inherent nature.
>>
>>43050077
I had Discord's powers be that he can do anything but he can't fully control the end result and there'll always be an unpredictable twist, whether he wants it or not.
>>
I've been using AI to help me with translation of a couple fics from fimfic into my native language and it's ridiculous how helpful it is. Of course, overall its wording is sloppy and the prose is often unnatural-sounding, so blindly copying it would be an awful idea. But the thing is, I am not a writer, I don't know how to write stories on my own, I just do translations. So oftentimes because of the lack of writing experience my translated text is pretty stilted, overwrought with complex sentences and grammatical constructions (especially dialogues).

So during the translation process each time I realize that I am beginning to pile complex linguistic structures on top one another I stop and feed the original passage into the llm. Most of the times it comes up with a better and more natural sounding passage or phrase. The quality of the finished story is better compared to the things I had translated before Ai sloppa came around. It's still a far cry of just clicking a button and getting a professional level translation since I still do most of the work, but it really helps.
>>
>>43050215
I got access to a beta LLM that's supposed to be for writing novels and asked it for Twipie. It made Pinkie a total fucking asshole to her.
>>
>>43050216
I am not talking about writing stories though. I am talking about translating a finished story into another language.
>>
>>43050216
AI got it right.
>>
>>43050215
Translating into your native language shouldn't need an llm anon, just wing it with whatever feels natural and don't skimp on the turns of phrase
When it comes to translating INTO English, that's when you really need outside help to stop yourself from making the original author look like a giga-sperg
>>
>>43050293
No, you don't understand. Just "winging it" would result in characters talking like living automations and descriptions sounding like a technical report. Usually I'd do a separate editing round after finishing the raw translation focused entirely on rewriting unnaturally sounding paragraphs, but the sloppa machine helps me do it much better. A better synonym here, a more apt phrase here. It improves the story a lot, and provides for a better experience for the reader.
>>
File: prettywings challenger.png (2.51 MB, 2500x2500)
2.51 MB
2.51 MB PNG
>>43050293
>just draw the rest of the owl
>>
>>43050216
ew
anal
>>
>>43050324
Pinkie can't risk having more foals.
>>
I read a fic that was sci-fi where Scootaloo was genetically engineered and grown in a lab to be a sex slave, as was Rainbow Dash.
>>
>>43050340
was it just a smut thing, or a case of weird grimdark sci-fi worldbuilding?
>>
>>43050361
I think these things are not mutually exclusive
>>
>>43050301
>characters talking like living automations and descriptions sounding like a technical report
That's like 90% of fics.
>>
>>43050361
I'd read a thing about sex slave Dash trying to protect sex slave Scootaloo.
>>
>>43050340
may i see it?
>>
>>43050397
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/531822/fusion
>>
File: 1764959048577.png (35 KB, 859x135)
35 KB
35 KB PNG
>>43044885
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/28718/the-foal-in-the-basket
Found it. Pic related.

>>43045612
>Captain of the Royal Guard who becomes Prince Consort to an empire and successfully bangs the first ever alicorn bloodline into existence
>Princess's personal student who becomes the keystone of an ancient magical artifact, then literally ascends into the reigning immortal oligarchy
>adoptive dragon son is instrumental in installing the Equestrian puppet as Dragon Lord and might even start a dynasty with her in the future
Quite possible the most successful minor noble family in history.

>>43050027
I lock up every time I type Manhattan because I now always go for the e.

>>43050428
>Honor Harrington
Fuck. They were sex slaves for the retarded intergalactic slave trade conspiracy. Second worst thing Weber did, behind making the Solarian League a total joke. Making them Space Late Ming China was such a dumb decision, especially after hyping them for two decades.
>>
>>43050027
lmao, I've caught myself many times about to say some sort of ponification in actual conversation
>>
>>43050473
The Chinese WOULD genetically engineer a scootaloo just to keep her as a sex slave, not surprised.
>>
File: 1610147.png (696 KB, 792x545)
696 KB
696 KB PNG
>>
>>43050293
Translation isn't that easy, when you're flipping back and forth between two languages and you also have a foreign model for grammar and expressions right there before your eyes, it can be surprisingly hard to make the translated prose flow well and sound natural. A second pair of eyes to take a look at the prose and smooth it out is often helpful and I'm not surprised LLMs can fill this role well.
>>
>>43050728
For a moment, instead of interpreting that name as a ponified Mary Higgins Clark, I read it as a ponified Mary Fucking Clark.
>>
>>43050948
Understandable
>>
File: shaded nmm.png (759 KB, 756x1169)
759 KB
759 KB PNG
>>
You know how AI makes soulless slop? I wonder if anyone's tried taking a bunch of stories from authors they like and dumping them into AI before telling it to make more like that. Specifically for things like clop one-shots, and fetish stories.
>>
>>43051328
AI sadly sucks for full on fetish stories.
>>
File: night cat doesn't approve.jpg (207 KB, 1746x1742)
207 KB
207 KB JPG
>>43051328
I did that for Cypress Zero, replacing nonsensical word choices and ungrammatical sentence constructions with sentences that made sense as written. The output was described as soulless, yes.
>>
>>43050428
>ponies are subservient to humans
I feel like Days of Wasp and Spider got it right that a race of beings that are all born naturally with some form of super power (flight, reality manipulation, super strength) are probably going to be a significantly superior species that can overpower anything thrown at them given enough time.

HiE fics where it's "Ponies, fuck yeah!" instead of "Humanity, fuck yeah!"?
>>
File: prettywings challenger 2.png (2.34 MB, 2000x1294)
2.34 MB
2.34 MB PNG
>>43051408
No, but there is a Ponies in Perytonia fic like that.
>>
>>43051408
DoWaS has them all be alicorns, though. Not quite move-the-sun-and-stars alicorns but still pretty much superpowered and highly skilled casters, powerful flyers and generally strong, durable and high endurance creatures.

The depiction of magic in the show is wildly inconsistent so it's not possible to draw a one single true canon interpretation of what an "average" unicorn is like, but an interpretation holding that unicorns can kinda barely do weak telekinesis and then a single spell (or narrow area of magic) related to their cutie mark is within the range of possible interpretations of canon.

All ponies-vs-humans fiction is entirely shaped by where the author puts the sliding level of pony power. If any unicorn can levitate a rock with enough strength to crack skulls, can cast a variety of spells that would make a D&D dungeon-clearing wizard jealous, can learn teleportation, mind control, abuse and combine elemental effects, etc. - then yes, it's going to be very one-sided. You can easily write earth ponies as being able to shatter concrete walls and pull apart any shackles, pegasi as being able to summon lightning at any attacker and coordinating superstorms wiping out infrastructure and cities, etc.
You can also, just as accurately to canon, write unicorns as having their telekinesis overpowered by any full-grown human, have their limited cutie-mark related spell and that's it, and it's completely up to the writer whether magic can be suppressed by technology or not at all - there's no reason why humans would not be able to invent devices to interact with magic, including at some point magic-suppression gadgets. Earth ponies can be strong for their size but not little portable Hulks, and the average pegasus might be able to make it rain on you for a brief moment and would otherwise be useless especially if captured and restrained, let alone having their wings clipped.

It's all down to the author, and obviously someone writing a "ponies are sex slaves" story is not going to make them all little portable Twilight-Sparkle-from-late-season powerhouses that can all individually warp reality, shield against all weapons, teleport behind you and vaporise you without breaking a sweat.

>Ponies, fuck yeah!
Dowas definitely qualifies. The issue with this genre involving actual humans though is that 99% of it is going to be TCB or TCB-adjacent misanthropyslop.
>>
File: borg.png (50 KB, 598x465)
50 KB
50 KB PNG
>>43042486
She's been a grad student all her life, it's normal for her.
>>
>>43051473
Most unicorns can do telekinesis, and even if it's only about as strong as a normal person's hands, it's still remote manipulation which makes things insanely strong.
>>
>>43051677
There is no solid evidence that it can be as strong as someone's arm at range. First of all there's no evidence that it's as strong as a real limb for a majority of unicorns in the first place - it could be normal for telekinesis to be versatile but weak. Secondly there's no evidence that it maintains the same strength at range, it could easily be equivalent to having an arm at 1-2 meters of distance but quickly drop off to just light manipulation at 5-10m.
Definitely not useless and a clever unicorn could do a lot with it, but not something that wins wars on its own.
>>
>>43051658
Twilight never went to any formal schooling after becoming celestias student. She was an intelligent autodidact with a one on one tutor/mentor.
>>
>>43051737
Twilight had an ingrained fear of tests though.
>>
File: soft luna in bell bottoms.jpg (164 KB, 2000x1810)
164 KB
164 KB JPG
>>43051696
Disregarding any war gaming, the evidence is still there, even if you headcanon it all away.
>>
>>43052037
There's varying evidence both ways depending on what any given episode's plot requires.
And by the late seasons all or most unicorns are apparently able to just swing laser blasters everywhere but that's late seasons.
>>
>>43051821
That's just common sense.
>>
File: 1546880014609.png (3.69 MB, 3440x1440)
3.69 MB
3.69 MB PNG
>>43052037
Why is there always Luna in every fimfiction thread?
>>
File: prettywings challenger 2.png (2.53 MB, 1800x2152)
2.53 MB
2.53 MB PNG
>>43052138
I like posting Luna, and sometimes others post her too. She's the best pony for FiMFics!
>>
>>43052135
Common sense is something rather lacking in cartoon horse enthusiasts.
>>
>[Porn] [Fetish]
>story contains: oral, anal, cumming...
For fuck's sake where's my hard bondage if you're gonna tag a story "fetish"
>>
>>43052211
But orgasms are my fetish
>>
>>43052211
>>43052287
And anal too
>>
>>43052339
And cryptocurrency
>>
>>43051696
My first guess would be it falls off with the square of distance, unless the unicorn were focusing on nothing else.
>>
>>43052526
I heard that the harder you suckle on Celestia's teats, the faster you can mine crypto.
>>
>>43052652
Misconception. It's just that every foal who is into mining crypto sucked on Celestia's teat until they were at least 12.
>>
>>43052654
Why didn't she try weaning them sooner?
>>
>>43052798
She's from a different time.
>>
>>43052798
Alex, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to suckle Celestia, doesn't want to be weaned.
>>
>>43051328
Don't know if it's true for the text based AIs, but for the image ones, you need huge data sets for the models to train on. The pone one was trained off 2.6 million images, for reference.

>>43051408
>significantly superior species
Not sure of the exact context of that HH fic, but humanity is pretty advanced in HH. We have FTL, multiple intersolar empires, genetic cloning, colony drop capabilities, etc. Equestria would find itself quickly becoming the next proxy setting for Manticore/Haven/Space Mormons/the slavery conspiracy to have their next war, telekinesis or not.
>>
>>43030999
Good day everyone.

I have discovered fallout equestria because my iPhone 6s I use in the current year has Adblock and I saw a fan game ad on this site.
It was “foe” something after that on steam.
It led me down the fallout equistria rabbit hole, and I’m in awe at the achievement of it and sad for myself now.
Point is that I wanted to write fan fiction as a kid but what stopped me was me somehow discovering Chris (CWC) Chan. The fear of becoming like Chris scared me out of writing any fanfiction and drawing out of fear of becoming like him.

And now I look at the fame or infamy of fallout equestria and I know it has good merits with a genuine fan following and I saw some stuff about it allegedly being in the library of congress and fan made hardback books.

Now I’m pushing 27 and not only feeling like crap for getting scared out of taking a risk that if gone bad could be chalked up as teenage tomfoolery but also that I never tried or started.

Should I kill myself or write the fanfiction and start drawing the as some glorified writing practice kind of thing even after the peak has passed and I have sonichu tier drawing skills and I doubt my writing is any better?

I didn’t bother to use grammar in this post as I am phoneposting at the moment but I imagine it ain’t that great as well.
>>
>>43052858
>The fear of becoming like Chris scared me out of writing any fanfiction
He was messed up before he started writing. Just make sure to stop yourself if you ever find yourself attracted to your mother.

>I doubt my writing is any better?
You're aware that your writing is crap. That puts you ahead of at least 50% of all fanfiction authors. Give it a shot, if you have an idea you like.
>>
>>43052862
Thanks anon. I feel a little better.

The ad appeared again.
The game on steam is called “Foe Remains” which is based off the Fallout equestria fanfiction.

But how useful are the guides if I plan to write fanfiction that isn’t related to MLP?
>>
>>43052832
My experience is the opposite: for image ones you can use a small dataset to make a LoRA, but I'm not sure if something equivalent exists for text ones.
>>
File: LEAST_VIOLENT_TRANSBIAN.png (493 KB, 1000x800)
493 KB
493 KB PNG
>>43052916
Fallout: Equestria is to horsefiction what Schindler's List is to historical documentaries.
>>
>>43052916
Yeah you summed it up for me.
I’m just impressed that something like that exists.
It’s like the almost polar opposite of the “My Immortal” fanfiction.
>>
File: 37352.gif (17 KB, 800x600)
17 KB
17 KB GIF
>>
>>43053024
>Schindler's List
But that movie is actually good, FOE is not.
>>
>>43053239
>
>>
>>43053236
Why a gif though
>>
>>43052858
>The fear of becoming like Chris scared me out of writing any fanfiction
Don't let him stop you: Nobody reaches his state of derangement by writing fanfiction. If you are healthy enough to not want to be like him, then you'll never be like him. I write all the time, and my own life looks normal and successful to most people (I have a job, a relationship, etc.).
>I know it has good merits
Not really. It doesn't hold up very well when you compare it to thousands of other fanfics that are better written but less famous because they didn't cross over two media franchises that were both at peak popularity.
>Should I kill myself
Depends on whether you also visit /jdb/.
>or write the fanfiction
Write; it will suck, but you have enough self-awareness to figure out how. Write some more; it will suck less. Keep writing; you will stop sucking. Write a whole bunch; you will end up good. You should write for as long as you're enjoying yourself.
>I didn’t bother to use grammar in this post
You still did better than a surprising number of fanfic authors.
>>43052868
>how useful are the guides if I plan to write fanfiction that isn’t related to MLP?
Almost all writing skills apply equally well to all fandoms and also to original fiction. Writing is a skill that improves with practice; like how someone who can draw well can draw a range of different characters, not just a single character.
>>
>>43053379
I let the fear get to me concerning Chris Chan.
Never heard of /jdb/. Guess I’ll stay ignorant.
I guess I’ll get to writing and drawing then.
I’ll look over the guides and see what I can learn from them then try applying what I learn at fanfiction writing first before trying something “original” as original as something can be.

Thanks anon. Thanks guys.
I’ll check back tomorrow for more stuff if any more posts are made.
>>
File: coming down to land.jpg (258 KB, 2000x2000)
258 KB
258 KB JPG
>>43053260
That's just how Weaver rolled.
>>
Fics with characters consumed with hatred and contempt?
>>
File: nmm and shadowbolt.png (2.27 MB, 1020x1400)
2.27 MB
2.27 MB PNG
Imagine asking for that kind of fic while the club is reading Subjunctive.
>>
>>43053260
MSPA holdover.
>>
>>43053745
I need to get back to HS.
>>
File: butterfinger to orlando.jpg (309 KB, 1280x1590)
309 KB
309 KB JPG
>>43053854
you really don't.
>>
>>43053379
>Depends on whether you also visit /jdb/.
That feels more illegal than the stuff you can only find on /b/.
>>
>>43052858
depends on what you're looking for
if you want to leave a mark, make it clear that yes you were here with us and made something that inspired people all across the world, then this fandom may not be for you anymore. in that case i'd recommend going all in into drawing, making an AU of a popular IP (like cookie run kingdom) and posting it all to tiktok. fair warning: it's gonna be tweens all the way down.
if you want to cultivate a hobby, workshop and improve until you're proud of your creative output or if you have ideas constantly worming into your brain and you need to vomit them out one way or another, fanfiction's your guy. get acquainted with AO3 and start typing about whatever the hell caught your eye last night. most interactions will be very succint and comments may be few and far between regardless of the quality of your work.
if you're looking for community, having actual convos or back and forths with like-minded people, maintaining relationships built on mutual love of this or that, contributing and building towards a stronger fandom who will appreciate you for it, well you could always stay here. assuming you're more comfortable with 4chan/older forums over other social media sites, /mlp/ is the best creative outlet you'll get. i mean there are other isolated communities like the undertale yellow guys but it's hard to compare small generals with an entire board at your disposal. watch the first season of friendship is magic (it's free on youtube), write a green, write two. if you want to structure your story closer to a standard work make a fimfic account. make fanart for a green you enjoyed, maybe post it if you're proud of how it came out.
>should i kill myself
shouldn't we all. in 10 years you can either be 36 with an entire decade's worth of experience behind you or still be planning for an heroing that's not gonna come
>>
>>43052858
>should i kill myself
No. Instead cause as much harm to your enemies as possible such that they have no choice but to kill you. You’re going to die anyways so why not.
>>
>>43052858
>Now im pushing 27
Statistically you have 40+ years left, if you dedicated at least 30 minutes a day to practicing writefagging im sure you will have written something of significance in that time.
Even if you don't thats just luck of the draw and at least you know you've given it your all.
>>
File: sunflowers.png (811 KB, 1471x633)
811 KB
811 KB PNG
Frankly you're never too old to write about colorful gay horses suckling Celestia.
>>
>>43053859
And yet you post such tempting material.
>>
>>43054489
It's not the kind of cheating that's hot. It's the kind that's infuriatingly retarded.
>>
File: 3417675.png (152 KB, 747x771)
152 KB
152 KB PNG
>fanfic title drops in the story at the perfect moment
>>
File: snowdrop emenata.jpg (653 KB, 2048x2048)
653 KB
653 KB JPG
>>43054097
That's a conflation of legality and morality. The feeling emanates from the beneficial effects of killing all those pedophiles, but the posts themselves are just a symptom.
>>
>>43054662
hell yeah brother, I just love it when it happens
>>
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/567958/the-her-that-is-me
2k words, about Princess Celestia and Principal Celestia. I was looking for something else when I found this, and I'm glad I stumbled upon it—very beautifully written.
>>
>>43054850
Love me some perfect immortal ruler but fuckup mom Celestia.
>>
>>43054512
Sounds tempting.
>>
How do I come to terms with the fact that I'm just gonna write the same stuff over and over again
>>
>>43055006
Even if you write about the same thing over and over, that's no excuse for stagnation. You can find so many different ways to describe the same thing, different aspects of it to emphasize, distinct ways it influences different scenarios. Get good at that, and it won't even feel like you're writing about the same thing repeatedly.
>>
>>43055006
Billy Joel was accused of writing only story songs and got upset until he realized he liked story songs.
>>
>>43053859
>>43054512
>>43054963
Let me describe HS's extraordinary derailment with the context translated to horsewords.

Lyra and Bon Bon were in a committed relationship, one that was quite healthy.
Fluttershy was lonely after every relationship she had fell apart due to external reasons.
Fluttershy was also half-rabbit due to fusing with Angel at some point.
Then in ONE FUCKING CHAPTER DROP, it's revealed that Fluttershy and Lyra had FUCKED so that Fluttershy could have a child of her own, Lyra hiding what she did from Bon Bon including the resulting pregnancy, and Fluttershy not only getting it canonically confirmed she has a rabbit dick from fusing, but that she has a child named CLOPPY whose existence was hidden up until now.

Nothing in Fimfic compares to the worst of HS because you're tricked by magic and mystery into dreaming and then your dreams are pissed on by the author himself.
>>
>>43055067
>Method for writing HS:
>step 1: freebase the dumbest teenagers you can find
>step 2: publish the first draft
How the hell did this thing get a fanbase?

I know, I know, F:Eq has just as rabid a fanbase, but the existence of that fanbase baffles me, too.
>>
>>43055067
Don't forget that Fluttershy was in a committed relationship with Rainbow Dash up until this point, but Rainbow Dash was secretly in love with Mr. Cake. Dash tells this to the ghost of Al Gore, who convinces her to kill herself.
>>
>>43055159
Oh and for most of this Applejack has suddenly gained awareness that she's in a show for little girls and has used that power to seize control and make Rainbow Dash and Mr. Cake kiss. Lauren Faust also is revealed to have started dating an Equestria Girls male Rarity cosplayer half her age and is doing this because she owes 50 million to Hasbro
>>
File: cake paint.jpg (521 KB, 2480x3508)
521 KB
521 KB JPG
>>
>>43055168
>Lauren Faust also is revealed to have started dating an Equestria Girls male Rarity cosplayer half her age and is doing this because she owes 50 million to Hasbro
Is that based on the story of HS, or something the author actually did?
>>
>>43052858
>write the fanfiction and start drawing the as some glorified writing practice kind of thing even after the peak has passed
It's never too late to have fun, but that's what it always should be. Don't go in trying to chase the horsefame of yesteryear. Enjoy the process and just have fun.

>>43054662
>fanfic title drop at the dramatic moment
>author decides the name sucks and changes it
>does another title drop with the new name later on
Looking at you, Wanderer.

>>43055067
Sounds like a Winningverse plot.

>you're tricked by magic and mystery into dreaming and then your dreams are pissed on by the author himself
Replace "mystery" with "lore" and it really sounds like a Winningverse plot.
>>
>>43055500
Yes.
>>
>>43055067
>>43055097
>>43055159
>>43055168
Weren't you trying to convince me not to read this?
>>
File: galaxies.jpg (62 KB, 768x1024)
62 KB
62 KB JPG
>>
>>43055862
We're telling you that this isn't like, so bad it's good. It's just bad. It's a fucking slog with the opposite of a payoff. Have you not noticed that the only people still into it are literally all really really stupid kids? Not just normal stupid kid level but like Scootaloo tier stupid kids? There's a reason for that.
>>
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/181514/the-green
I read this recently and thought it was decent.
>>
>>43056136
You say that, and yet you seethe so much when talking about it it's clear it left you scarred. That level of rage and emotion is something I seek to experience.
>>
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/586812/get-your-act-together-rainbow-dash
This fig was ok.
>>
>in the garden of good and evil passwordblocked?
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/75104/in-the-garden-of-good-and-evil
>>
>>43056478
It's password blocked for me
>>
Fics where the author thinks they are being subtle but are in fact not to a comical degree?
>>
>>43056545
Speaking of CiG, the Archetypist, I guess.
>>
>>43052579
>unicorn telekinetic range is unlimited as long as she's not distracted by a delicious flower under her nose
seems plausible
>>
>>43056576
Some things in it are subtle. Some things are not. It's a bizarre fic to be sure.
>>
>>43056352
One of these days fae will write a pregnancy fic
>>
>>43056706
>Scootaloo gets knocked up
>Everyone thinks Dash is so kind for helping Scootaloo get prenatal care
>Dash is actually the father
>>
>>43056762
Please, if anyone is going to experience a teen pregnancy it's Sweetie "Five-Colts" Belle!
>>
>>43056770
Sweetie Belle knows all about abortion clinics thanks to Rarity.
>>
>>43056786
Well yeah, Rarity reminds her everyday she's the one she missed.
>>
File: IMG_2774.jpg (544 KB, 1920x1080)
544 KB
544 KB JPG
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/587684/like-looking-in-a-mirror
>main character is male but looks and sounds like a female
>>
>>43056821
>Cover By Moonpelt or myself
This is so awkward, it's honestly the most stand out thing to me.
>>
>>43056821
Jesus, this is the most liked fic of the year so far.
>>
File: horse.png (878 KB, 3029x3451)
878 KB
878 KB PNG
>>43056820
Everyone always says that Sweetie Belle being secretly her daughter is a meme but I've read... maybe two fics where that's the case. Were they all just deleted or is there some trend I missed?
>>
>>43056932
Maybe it's because of this story?
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/203093/simply-rarity
>>
>>43056932
It was a super well known fic to be fair.
Also iirc in the first version of Past Sins she was her daughter?
>>
>>43056770
DT isn't letting her sexpet get pregnant.
>>
>>43057010
Right, which is why Applebloom's not.
>>
>>43057041
That's FiW DT
>>
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/2872/pony-shorts
Every single short story in here is great.
>>
>>43057378
It seems I have upvoted it.
I nominate it for the Club.
I'm sure we could lump it with other anthologies.
>>
>>43056932
It's obvious once you remember that Rarity is a slut.
>>
>>43056478
https://foalfetch.net/story/75104
Looks like it. Luckily it's a pretty oldfic so all the archives have it.

>>43056932
Being a meme doesn't necessary mean it became a common fanfic plot. "AJ should have been loyalty and Dash honesty" is another meme that's quite common but rarely seen in fics.
>>
>Erm, why does this Pinkie Pie x Self-insert OC clopfic not meet the same quality as Hemingway and Faulkner?
That's you guys, that's what you guys sound like
>>
>>43057448
I can't cum to stories with adjectives.
>>
>>43057454
I can't cum to stories with the letter "E" in them
>>
>>43056932
I remember one fucked up story featuring it. I stopped reading when Twilight Sparkle pops Sweetie Belle's head because she'd been possessed by a unicorn grimoire. Rarity was screaming about Twilight killing her baby and didn't notice Sweetie's head reforming, and Twilight knocked Rarity out with magic, reassuring herself that everything would be okay. The main gist of the plot was the Elements of Harmony sap away the emotions they represented from the bearers, leaving Applejack a bitter liar who set Carousel Boutique on fire and adopted Sweetie Belle, telling her that Rarity was dead. Anyway, they were trying to set off a cannon to summon Princess Celestia because the Apples were causing mayhem. It's amazing what fanfiction sticks with you and what doesn't.
>>
>>43057469
Rarity lay back in a chair, art book in hoof and nibbling on a strand of hair without much thought. “This suit looks awful.” Sounds of this unicorn yawning by dawn throughout that Ponyvillian fashion shop almost brought snoozing back to this pony’s form, but work was at hoof, fashion work; still, turning to a prior drawing put no dulcour in this task. “I don’t find anything good with my gown also. What was I thinking?” Flipping again, a foal’s outfit was in sight. “Oh, what do you think of this, darling?” Art book down, a thought—any thought—was sought.

Rarity’s bump had no opinion, not a shift or two or anything.

“That’s not much of an opinion you show.” Rarity thought it was a good outfit, to add to many. “Now wouldn’t you look so stunning in pink, to match your fur and horn, mommy’s tiny filly?”

At first nothing, and anticipation built at anything as Rarity sat. A kick had that art book and all of its outfits fall from gut to floor. “I’m not raising an art critic, and that’s that.” Rarity was now smugly looking away.

“I simply can’t work in this fashion.” Rarity took a nap.
>>
I hope it's not a problem considering last week's late posting, but the book club anchor will be delayed by about half an hour.
>>
The 'if's and 'but's of being a bug, in
>/FSBC/

What an ending. You know, after it all, I can bring myself to defend this story; week 3 was the best of the bunch, I would say, and the highs that it ascends to eclipse all that came before. But before I say anything more, I absolutely must highlight that which the more perceptive reader(s) realized last week but which I took only as the writer's indecision; what I saw as the uncertain wobbling of the narrative, failing to pick one definitive course over all the others. That, all of it, is what the fic truly was about all along. Were the failings of authorial intent influencing the story's structure? That I cannot tell. It seems apparent that the author didn't properly plan the entire story beforehand, but at the same time, maybe that was the point. Maybe it serves to heighten the feeling of Errenax's confusion and flailing—like it shows in so many of the fic's aspects! Elements that seemed absurd at first all fit into this journey, a journey I am glad to have followed. The sudden twists in the narration's mood, teasing redemption where there could be none—or the style of the fic's prose itself. Were it not for the bookclub, I'd have dropped the fic before it revealed its point to me, and I would be poorer for it!

So, for the final time, what happened this week? At first, there was a bunch of nothing. The segment until Philadelphia is some of the most pointless writing I've seen in a long while. Still somewhat pleasant to read, I'd give it this much, but the story and Errenax himself [and perhaps the author as well, though that's just a silly hypothetical], were conflicted and stalling for time. This moment is where I thought the fic was a mistake. But then we reach the ship, and all is good in the world. Yes, it's not very 'pony'. But it reads so well, and everything that is and isn't said there could honestly justify the fic's existence. The atmosphere is crisp and evocative and intoxicating; the tragic confrontation on the deck is excellent. From the long buildup to the scene of the captain sacrificing the random traveler to spare one of his own kind to the tragedy of there being yet another bug on the ship willing to take the fall—and how that, in turn, breaks the captain. The irony of Errenax never realizing his nature at first felt a little unbelievable, but it works so well in the story that I am willing to go with it. Some people complained about the train scene being confusing to read despite being uncomplicated—here we have the opposite!
(1/2)
>>
File: 1696642.png (2.88 MB, 2000x1432)
2.88 MB
2.88 MB PNG
>>43057882
(2/2)
And then, of course, the final struggle of Errenax against himself back in his homeland. That, too, was handled extremely well, and it conveyed a poignant mood that I didn't expect the fic to pull off this well. And Fluttershy, too, being tossed against the changing tides of Errenax, acting as his foil now that Foil is no more. I thought her inclusion bizarre at first, but that, too, concluded with such a good payoff I cannot be upset. Were there a good ending to be found there, had some different choices been taken?
Indicative says no. All that happened here happened because it had to, happened because of where Errenax was at each point in the story. It's such a nicely realized tragedy that the lack of the [Tragedy] tag on it is criminal. And [Death], too, at the very least.

The issue with writing these posts right after reading is that, of course, I will have recency bias. The bad opening of this week is so much less important to me at this moment than the excellent finale. I am trying to remind myself of that, and it's what's stopping me from adding it to favorites. Overall, with its limping middle (at least for those of us who are slow to see what the author is doing), the story is far too uneven to earn a truly high grade. But it's certainly unique, both in style and the ambitious goal that it had set out to realize, and I can imagine recommending it to someone in the future, but with the explicit warning that it will only appeal to a small subset of people. Had the middle matched the lofty ambitions and the downright surrealist emotional tension of the third, this would be an excellent fic. But as it stands, it is still a fascinating, if flawed, work.
Now it's time to read the epilogue.

Next week: Her Soldiers, We.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/328030/her-soldiers-we

>>43044070
>the unpredictability here a feature rather than a bug...
Like I said above, you were extremely on-point with this observation. For once, trusting the plan was the correct move.
>>
>>43057448
>There was a pony and a dog too this time. Two beasts, counting Old Ben, the Ursa Major, and two stallions, counting Braeburn, in whom some of the same blood ran which ran in Big Mac, even though Braeburn's was a plebeian strain of it and only Big Mac and Old Ben and the mongrel Winona were taintless and incorruptible.
>He was sixteen. For six years now he had been a stallion’s hunter. For six years now he had heard the best of all talking. It was of the wilderness, the big Everfree, bigger and older than any recorded document:—of Equestrian fatuous enough to believe he had bought any fragment of it, of thestral ruthless enough to pretend that any fragment of it had been his to convey; bigger than Major Shining Armor and the scrap he pretended to, knowing better; older than old Princess Celestia of whom Major Shining Armor had had it and who knew better; older even than old Commander Hurricane, the Pegasus chief, of whom old Princess Celestia had had it and who knew better in her turn. It was of the stallions, not earth ponies nor pegasi nor unicorns but stallions, hunters, with the will and hardihood to endure and the humility and skill to survive, and the dogs and the Ursa Major and deer juxtaposed and reliefed against it, ordered and compelled by and within the wilderness in the ancient and unremitting contest according to the ancient and immitigable rules which voided all regrets and brooked no quarter;—the best game of all, the best of all breathing and forever the best of all listening, the voices quiet and weighty and deliberate for retrospection and recollection and exactitude among the concrete trophies—the racked guns and the heads and skins—in the libraries of town houses or the offices of plantation houses or (and best of all) in the camps themselves where the intact and still-warm meat yet hung, the stallions who had slain it sitting before the burning logs on hearths when there were houses and hearths or about the smoky blazing of piled wood in front of stretched tarpaulins when there were not. There was always a bottle present, so that it would seem to him that those fine fierce instants of heart and brain and courage and wiliness and speed were concentrated and distilled into that brown liquor which not mares, not colts and foals, but only hunters drank, drinking not of the blood they spilled but some condensation of the wild immortal spirit, drinking it moderately, humbly even, not with the pagan’s base and baseless hope of acquiring thereby the virtues of cunning and strength and speed but in salute to them. Thus it seemed to him on this February morning not only natural but actually fitting that this should have begun with whisky.
>>
>>43057574
I'm impressed, sort of.
>>
>>43057572
I read a fic where the Elements of Harmony were actually radioactive and rendered all the mane six sterile.
>>
>>43058025
>>43057572
I hate pointless edgy shit like that
>>
>>43057883
>Next week: Her Soldiers, We.
The whole thing, right?
What will we read after that?
>>
File: 2828576.jpg (271 KB, 2400x1600)
271 KB
271 KB JPG
>>43058182
As opposed to relevant edgy shit?
>>
>>43058188
No. Purposeful, well thought out wedge.
>>
>>43058194
Does such a thing exist?
>>
File: lunamoeba.png (354 KB, 2125x2700)
354 KB
354 KB PNG
>>43057882
I don't really get where most of this praise is coming from.
You said the story was poorly planned, and I agree with that. This is what I remember happening: from the point Errenax decides to bring Fluttershy to the changeling interrogators, the story railroads that result.
If you stretch believability, it's somewhat plausible that Fluttershy would start out on this adventure with him, and maybe start doing some soul searching after he kills everypony in the train stop. However, there is then the episode with him fucking Elision in the barn. The farmer saw that Elision was a changeling, and everypony in the farmhouse could hear the aliens screeching and clicking in the barn. Still, Fluttershy takes Errenax's side.
As for the boat ride to the changeling homeland, I know the story at many points reads as though it's suggesting Nihil is another changeling, but he wasn't. Nihil trusts Errenax and gives him passage for no reason, Errenax stupidly fucks up everything over and over until the crew mutinies and then again Fluttershy takes Errenax's side until the crew dumps them at their destination.
I would have said just skip over the boat ride's stupidity and still recommended the story if Fluttershy was silently struggling with the moral implications of trying to build a bond of trust with a changeling who was continually betraying her, but that's not what was happening. Fluttershy was fooled by Errenax the whole time. Only when his transformation spell fails does she stop talking to him and try to flee and fight. Finally, Errenax forgets his goal to separate the Elements and frees Fluttershy... because?
>surrealist emotional tension of the third
In conclusion, all of this that the boat ride could've had is too undermined by the terrible actual plot.

Yes, the last three chapters (what should be the last three chapters, anyway) are good. They do a great job conveying their emotions, and are written poignantly. But I would never recommend someone read the story until them, there's just too much preceding bullshit to be worth it. And they're not worth skipping to, in large part due to the story already having delivered its uniqueness in the first half and in small part due to how terribly Fluttershy is written.

>But as it stands, it is still a fascinating, if flawed, work.
This, I totally agree with. There are some situations where it can be recommended, and I probably will continue to do so, with warnings.
>>
>>43058197
Old stories which contained brutality and cruelty because authors back then weren’t retarded and tried to hide the harshness reality from people.
>>
>>43058251
I like how when you stripe away the fantasy, most fairy tales boil down to "the outside is scary. Be careful. Also, be wary of strangers."
Important lessons, really.
>>
>>43058320
And also, “If you come across a sleeping girl, you get to do whatever you want.”
>>
>>43058367
Which means doing nothing, because >nohooves.
>>
>>43057448
Just prompt a good AI to rewrite your fic in the style of Hemingway, bro.
>>
>>43058367
A big difference between us and people in the past is that they did not default to the most cynical low trust interpretation of what’s happening possible.
>>
>>43058399
Excuse you, I only do that because of tragic life experiences.
>>
>>43058227
>I don't really get where most of this praise is coming from
This is because you're retarded.
>>
File: 286508.gif (3.68 MB, 410x290)
3.68 MB
3.68 MB GIF
>>43058227
>the story railroads that result.
Not really. There are several moments where it felt believable to have her drop him. The capital-s Story reason why it doesn't happen is that Errenax needs a character like Foil or FS to contrast his non-ponyness, but the in-story reasons did not feel like enough of a stretch to ruin the story.
>after he kills everypony in the train stop
We know that, he knows that, but FS doesn't know for sure until they get to the coast.
>the episode with him fucking Elision
It was last week, and I've voiced significant critique about that part and what was around it both last week and during this week, yes. It was when I thought I'd leave the fic without the updoot.
>it's suggesting Nihil is another changeling, but he wasn't
He is, without a doubt, 100% a changeling. You simply cannot read it any other way. The story bashes you over the head with it in EVERY one of his interactions with our bug. From the moment he recognizes him, to him telling Errenax to wait to introduce himself until they get home, to, finally, trying to bail Errenax out during the scene that turns into the mutiny. This is probably among the three best things the fic is doing, next to the ending and the bug alien feeling (mainly weeks 1&2).
>Fluttershy was fooled by Errenax the whole time.
The fic is being vague about it, but I don't think so. She doesn't draw attention to it, but she is aware. They fight not over his 'reveal', but over what he says there. For example, when his disguise starts failing and she distances herself from him to not have him """reveal""" himself to her. Or in the port, where she learns he saved her.
It's annoying, because some of the best things in the fic are those that you seem to intentionally choose to dismiss for... unknown reasons.
>Errenax forgets his goal to separate the Elements and frees Fluttershy... because?
Are you for real? He conceded. They lost, and he lost twice. Seeing that the bugs are dead was the final straw that triggered his realization that he was wrong about ponies and changelings the whole time, that he had no high ground at any point, and that he was in the moral wrong for all of the fic. This is, like, the biggest theme of the story for fifteen chapters!
>what should be the last three chapters, anyway
You're also too hard on the epilogue. While it makes the story worse by undermining what is otherwise a perfect classic tragedy, one should never dock points for subverting a ponyfic's ending with "suddenly, ponies!". It makes it a worse story, and for purely artistic reasons it adds less than it takes away, but I understand why the author chose to bookend the fic in this way. It's not Sunrise; it's reverse Sunrise, and that is so, so much less bad.

>>43058186
>The whole thing, right?
Yep, 40k is within expectations.
>after that
Oh, right! I should've listed some options. At worst we'll vote next week.
>>
File: literally says this.png (150 KB, 1293x472)
150 KB
150 KB PNG
>>43058227
>>43058561
>>it's suggesting Nihil is another changeling, but he wasn't
I went and dug up the line where he basically spells it out for the audience; see picrel where he excuses his fondness for the bug to Flask.
And there is also the part where he tells the bug that they're alike in that they need not just food but the warmth of other ponies to sustain themselves. In general, both Nihil and the "mute" bug are there as counterexamples to Errenax, meant to show him why he was wrong.
>>
File: goth luna middle feather.jpg (473 KB, 2248x3465)
473 KB
473 KB JPG
>>43058561
>You simply cannot read it any other way.
I certainly read it that way on my first read; as you said, the story beats you over the head with it. Then the fic soured my opinion of it in far too many ways, so I read it instead as though the captain was just eccentric. There's too much missing: how he learned the language, especially the old Equestrian style, how he earned the trust of his crew that they followed him so far, why he didn't ferry the scout force across in the beginning of the fic, why he didn't warn Errenax that the homeland was dead, and so on and so on. A ton of him being a changeling relies on you forgetting that there was a language barrier in the first place, and that he be disconnected from Chrysalis' hive in a very convenient way.
>He conceded.
Yeah, I went back to find the part where he actually decided to release Fluttershy, and that's right.
>It's not Sunrise; it's reverse Sunrise, and that is so, so much less bad.
I get why you'd say this, but I'm not going to give Subjunctive a pass for undermining its own plot with the bullshit character interactions and then praise it for also undermining its own themes. Most of what the story is in its first half is ripped apart by its second half, with the exception of those three or so chapters.
It could've been good if it had a more plausible travel arc, and without the last chapter.
>She doesn't draw attention to it, but she is aware.
I can't make myself believe it. If she were aware, she would've recognized his change of heart upon freeing her. Instead, she displayed disdain and pity as she left him to die.
>>
>>43056762
>>Scootaloo gets knocked up
Motherly Scootaloo vietnam flashbacks
>>
>>43058399
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleeping_Beauty
>Early contributions to the tale include the medieval courtly romance Perceforest (c.1337–1344). In this tale, a princess named Zellandine falls in love with a man named Troylus. Her father sends him to perform tasks to prove himself worthy of her, and while he is gone, Zellandine falls into an enchanted sleep. Troylus finds her, and impregnates her in her sleep. When their child is born, the child draws from her finger the flax that caused her sleep. She realizes from the ring Troylus left her that he was the father, and Troylus later returns to marry her. Another early literary predecessor is the Provençal versified novel Fraire de Joi e sor de Plase (c.1320–1340).
>...
>In Giambattista Basile's version of Sleeping Beauty, Sun, Moon, and Talia, the sleeping beauty, Talia, falls into a deep sleep after getting a splinter of flax in her finger. She is discovered in her palace by a wandering prince, who "carrie[s] her to a bed, where he gather[s] the first fruits of love." He abandons her there after the assault and she later gives birth to twins while still unconscious.
>...
>Italo Calvino included a variant in Italian Folktales, "Sleeping Beauty and Her Children". In his version, the cause of the princess's sleep is a wish by her mother. As in Pentamerone, the prince rapes her in her sleep and her children are born. Calvino retains the element that the woman who tries to kill the children is the king's mother, not his wife, but adds that she does not want to eat them herself, and instead serves them to the king. His version came from Calabria, but he noted that all Italian versions closely followed Basile's.
>>
>>43058754
Calvino mentioned.
>>
>>
File: images.png (11 KB, 194x259)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>be me
>read a relatively long (120k) finished story
>it's good
>finish it
>turns out it's THE FIRST BOOK, the second one was abandoned back in 2015 and the story is nowhere near complete
God fucking damn it. I feel for this trick for the second time. First time was a couple years ago with "Letters from a friend at the end of the world".
>>
>>43059332
Oh, yeah. I remember Letters. It was an enjoyable read.
At least the author made a blog post with what the full story would've been.
Still bullshit Trixie's companion died alongside her baby.
>>
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/206017/queen-of-queens
best changeling-centric fic I've ever read, very unique take on their civilization
>>
>>43059374
They don't call her Trixie "Toxic Womb" Lulamoon for nothing!
>>
File: tuna hug.jpg (371 KB, 1536x2048)
371 KB
371 KB JPG
>>43057381
at 43k total, it would fit well with https://www.fimfiction.net/story/62270/lunas-librarian-twilights-moon, review at >>41686970

>>43059430
Yes, it's quite good.
>>
>>43059332
>Letters From a Friend at the End of the World
Is this a good read? Also fucking lol at the sequel being left with a single chapter.
>>
>>43058025
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/158548/lullabies-unsung
I also think one of the old adventure fics (Powers of Harmony maybe?) had the "Elements are such powerful magical artifacts, they cause sterility" plot point. Being an adventure fic, they just kind of rolled with it instead of wangsting about it for half the story.

>>43058573
Why are they talking in Early Modern if Fluttershy's in the story?

>>43059332
Does it at least tell a full story or did he pull a GRRM/Rothfuss on you?
>>
>>43059711
>Rothfuss
Man what a waste of good prose.
>>
Well I started reading Compati and it's a pretty fun read so far. I like Coppertone having lunch with Celestia and just conceding more and more personal information until she's just crying and telling Celestia her biggest secret meanwhile Celestia hasn't said a word and has just been sitting there smiling the entire time.
But holy shit the story could've had 85% less swearing and it would've had more of an impact
>>
>>43059332
I am still holding a grudge against Empty Horizons to this day
>>
File: ponk.jpg (92 KB, 815x901)
92 KB
92 KB JPG
>>43059980
Ashen Horizons will drop any day now. Right?
>>
I've done it, lads. I've found a use for coloured text, just once.

>>43058020
Why thank you.

>>43058713
Do you remember the Ace Attorney court case the guy made for that. I only ended up watching someone go through the endings, but it was pretty dark with how Jet Set and Upper Crust watched Scootaloo get hanged for crimes she didn't commit in the bad ending, after adopting her son and bringing him to the execution, kek.
>>
>>43058668
>There's too much missing
The implication I was getting is that he got separated (or banished or whatever) a long, long time ago, and he was picked up by the pirates, keeping no ties to the Hive. If I'm not misremembering, they named him Nihil because he couldn't say a word in their language when they found him. This solves all of the questions you have about him. I do maintain that this part of the fic is very good, and not giving it due recognition is very unfair. It's enough that seemingly next to no readers were able to "get it" despite such obvious tells.
>and then praise it for also undermining its own themes
I agree, the epilogue is bad for the story. It's just that the direction it's done in means I can't bring myself to hate it like I hated Sunrise's. I suppose the one small point in its defense is that it's not fully undermining the themes, since at the end he actually does see the error of his ways.
>I can't make myself believe it.
That's understandable. I do think this is where the story wanted to go, but if you say it's not quite there for you in this aspect, that's, well, probably the author's fault at least partially. If it was the intended way to read it (I think so), it could've made that point better.

>>43059711
>Why are they talking in Early Modern if Fluttershy's in the story?
They're in Fillydelphia, which is a semi-autonomous region, and some of the groups there preserve their old language as a way to demonstrate their cultural independence. Only the pira— I mean, *sailors* that the bug&FS run into speak this way. Also, it's a moderately pretentious linguistic fic, so the Doylist reason is that the author really wanted to write it this way, I think.
>>
>>43059754
Yeah that's one of my few gripes with it. I don't mind Coppertone being vulgar all the time since it's established from the start that she's just Like That, but Corejo lays it on a bit too thick with Sunset sometimes.

My favorite scene was the one with Twilight at the diner with Sunset, the way she slowly realizes she's prodding at something way more sensitive than she was informed, but it's too late for her to back out.
>>
>>43059494
From what i remember i liked it but again, it's the first book in the series that will never be finished and the story just stops way before it's completed. Be aware of that if you decide to read it
>>43059711
>Does it at least tell a full story or did he pull a GRRM/Rothfuss on you?
I'll give it to the author, at least the first book had an actual conclusion. The story isn't over but one of its big arcs came to a close, so the book didn't just end at a random place. There's around 40k words in the second one but i think i won't read it.
>>
>>43060371
>the story just stops way before it's completed
That's a bit of an understatement.
I like the story, but it's essentially a prologue. Trixie learns about her destiny, visits a couple towns, and gets on some minor adventures.
But on the grand scheme of things, and having learned what the story was going to be through that blog post, it feels the story died less than 20% into the full plan.
Letters, as a standalone is a fine experience (if one with a downer of an ending), but we'll never get to see any of the grand things that were teased.
>>
>>43060130
I would have to reread the boat arc to find his backstory again, I thought the story didn't gove one and he just abused his authority and crew the whole way through. I don't want to, though, it sucks.
Yeah, I am being unfair to the story by deliberately reading it as though Nihil is a pony. It is out of spite for the things I complained about already (mostly the ending, tags and Fluttershy), and because the story allows me to.

I think it isn't very unfair, though, only a little unfair. I can and do praise it for its prose, especially the surreal mood of the storm on the ship. It's just that the story, the actual plot, is unforgivably bad. The first half can stand without a plot, being SoL, and that's the background for my recommendation to drop it once it goes sour.
>>
File: HBy5W9WWEAAsfnC.jpg (104 KB, 680x680)
104 KB
104 KB JPG
>>43030999
>>
>>43060434
This but with Rainbow as the author and Twilight as the critic. Or vice-versa.
>>
>>43059991
No lol
The author got married and had kids
>>
>>43060518
>tfw Goldenwing is probably telling his kids what the third story would be as a bedtime story
>>
>>43060518
One one hand, I'm happy for the guy.
On the other, FUCK.
>>
>>43060194
>Twilight at the diner with Sunset, the way she slowly realizes she's prodding at something way more sensitive than she was informed
Yeah, the characters are great and Twilight slowly realizing the depths is great. Same with Sunset coming back and realizing how distraught Twilight is about Luna and part of her reasoning being 'if someone else besides Luna is going to get fucked up by all of this it should at least be me and not Twilight' which is kino
But yeah, calling your 14y.o. little sister a cocksleeve is beyond retarded for Equestria. Actually completely ridiculous and it reads more like shitty satire of some sort
>>
>>43060518
Hey, just like Ponydora.
Adamant Triskellion conclusion NEVER.
>>
>>43060466
>there's not actually a typo
>Dash is just stupid
>>
>>43060518
This is why you get married and have kids BEFORE you start writing horsewords.
>>
>>43060600
Cute art.
>>
>>43060518
Is he still doing guro commissions on reddit?
>>
>>43060600
Is there more to this scenario besides this picture?
>>
File: 3763865.jpg (389 KB, 3000x2000)
389 KB
389 KB JPG
>>43060661
>>
>>43060672
Damn shes begging for it.
>>
>>43057882
The story, especially this last third, is a mixed bag, but I ended up enjoying it more than not. I was fine with the chapters of Errenax moping about, since they're short and clearly serve as an interlude before the next portion of the story. The actual ship arc is interesting, but starts off clumsily. The focalization inexplicably switches to the first mate, describing things Errenax can't possibly know about, because I guess the author just couldn't come up with another way to provide context. That's a general problem with this section: Errenax takes an incredibly passive role, which manifests in not only his general lack of action, but also lack of his perspective. If Nihil, Flask, the crew, etc. were described from the perspective of Fluttershy or any random pony? I don't think these chapters would be much different. For a fic all about a certain personality, there's little of that personaliy expressed in this section. That said, the actual atmosphere and characters are fairly solid. Nihil is intriguing and I would read a spin-off about his' and Flask's adventures, and the changeling trial is a strong climax to this portion (and one where Errenax being the narrator is actually crucial to the scene).

I'm really not sure about Fluttershy's role in the story, and I think the author wasn't either. There could've been plausible ambiguity as to whether she knows of Errenax' true nature if the resolution to that plotline was different, but the author chose to explicitly debunk this, to the story's detriment. In the end, she's just sort of there to rub in the salt in the wound, I guess? Really underwhelming. Even if the actual resolution was intended to be underwhelming, it's not like FS provides much during her time with Errenax, either.

(cont.)
>>
>>43060761
However, I quite liked the ending itself with the dramatic conclusion about Subjunctive and how it tied the story together into a high-concept tragedy that almost feels like it's going out of its way to avoid giving the MC any character development. He can't even try to find redemption, but he can't really fully realize himself as a cunning schemer either, so he's just left to helplessly cling onto whatever fate sends his way until he's got nowhere to go. One could even consider Errenax a warped version of a classic sentimentalist protagonist with the virtues stripped away. That makes for some good pathos.

...is what I was going to say until the epilogue, where that stuff about Errenax rejecting every opportunity to redeem himself seemingly gets thrown out the window because nvm he got better off-screen. He also got away with mass murder and even found Elision, too! It's a pleasant ending to the point I can't gripe about it being a cop-out too much, but I still feel it takes away from the story and its' tragedy.

Overall, it's a pretty flawed fic, but also an outstanding one, with the kind of subversive (in every sense) protagonist and indulgent self-expression you don't see often. It's one I'll probably still recommend to people, provided they don't get filtered by the language.

(also, sorry for being late as hell these past two weeks, but at least I'll definitely be able to finish the NMM fic on time this week)
>>
>>43060704
They had as many kids as the Apple parents, and those two were smitten.
Amish as they are you KNOW the Ma and Pa Pie were fucking like god damn rabbits.
>>
>>43060882
>They had as many kids as the Apple parents
more actually.
>>
>>43060967
Right but Pinkie and Marble are twins, so they're tied with the Apples for creampies.
>>
>>43060986
true. forgot to factor that in.
>>
File: multilayer moon.jpg (637 KB, 1800x1500)
637 KB
637 KB JPG
>>43060986
>Bright Mac and Pear Butter banged five times a day out in the orchards because of the trees
>Sue and Clyde only banged daily in their bedroom, playing catch up for over a decade
I dunno about that. They're both still farmers. I'm going with "the Pies were always ahead, it's in their name."
>>
>>43061027
Maybe Cloudy just really liked to suck cock instead.
>>
>>43061105
As Pinkie is the only Mane 6 member to canonically get knocked up, I will offer forth the idea that all Pies like pies.
Therefore, Cloudy Quartz has been mating pressed more times than Rarity at a trade show.
>>
>>43060761
>since they're short and clearly serve as an interlude
You're right, but my patience was wearing thin after that middle segment and its ending in particular.
>Errenax takes an incredibly passive role
He does, but I don't know if it's that much of a problem. I would say that the main narrative purpose of that part is finally making him realize what he's wrong about, and for that we had to have gotten Nihil and Flask's story, in addition to some words about the other ling there. Errenax still does things before they embark, so it's only really the one (or was it two?) chapters on the water where he's not doing much himself. I guess that where I disagree is that it's still a chapter about him, even if we get there in a roundabout way for the pretty amazing payoff of the trial/mutiny scene. It justified a lot for me.
>ambiguity as to whether she knows of Errenax' true nature
>but the author chose to explicitly debunk this
I think he was as confused as we are, to be desu. There's enough hints earlier on that it had to have been intentional, so the way that arc ends is imo probably just a failure of execution on this last stretch. Or maybe you're right and it was intentionally underwhelming, in which case it's a bad decision instead of bad execution.

>>43060767
Yep, yep. I pretty much word-for-word agree with every point you're making here. It's not among the best stories we've read here, but it's one with several very memorable and ambitious decisions that will make it more memorable than many, many more of less flawed, easier fics.
>>
Who baking
>>
>>43061429
>>43061429
>>43061429
>>43061429



[Advertise on 4chan]

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.