Has anyone ever written a fic with a pony who has real autism? Not "I post on 4chan" autism. Like "rocking back and forth all the time, obsessively ordering the silverware in the drawer, and memorizing train timetables" autism.

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2nd for best 2uo!
Enjoy this conveniently packaged Tuna: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/539121/oneiromance

>>43031000
Nice get, and any fic with trains in it, I'm going to guess.

Do any of you guys make major story decisions for grammar's sake? I'll give a really simple example: I've got a cute story anthology with Tempest Shadow, and I wrote her as having a son in part because that makes the pronouns unambiguous. He's a nameless character, and the story is most often Tempest alone. I can refer to them as she and he effortlessly. The simplicity of referring to them this way is clear when you consider how difficult it would be if they were the same sex. This also works because masculine works as the unknown gender, although I'm not using it that way here and this is less common these days.

Author of the featured fic earlier made a backup on Ponepaste, along with their other fics that got delisted:

Anonfilly, Harmony-less [Part 1]: https://ponepaste.org/11696
Anonfilly, Harmony-less [Part 2]: https://ponepaste.org/11704
Anonfilly, Harmony-less [Part 3]: https://ponepaste.org/11717
Anonfilly, Harmony-less [Part 4]: https://ponepaste.org/11718
Anonfilly, Harmony-less [Epilogue]: https://ponepaste.org/11724

Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 1]: https://ponepaste.org/11728
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 2]: https://ponepaste.org/11729
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 3]: https://ponepaste.org/11730
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 4]: https://ponepaste.org/11731
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 5]: https://ponepaste.org/11732
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 6]: https://ponepaste.org/11733
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Interlude 1]: https://ponepaste.org/11734
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 7]: https://ponepaste.org/11735
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 8]: https://ponepaste.org/11736
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Chapter 9]: https://ponepaste.org/11737
Too Many Pinkies Plus One [Interlude 2]: https://ponepaste.org/11738

Haunting Memories [Chapter 1]: https://ponepaste.org/11739
Haunting Memories [Chapter 2]: https://ponepaste.org/11740
Haunting Memories [Chapter 3]: https://ponepaste.org/11741
Haunting Memories [Chapter 4]: https://ponepaste.org/11742
Haunting Memories [Chapter 5]: https://ponepaste.org/11743
Haunting Memories [Chapter 6]: https://ponepaste.org/11744
Haunting Memories [Chapter 7]: https://ponepaste.org/11745
Haunting Memories [Chapter 8]: https://ponepaste.org/11746

>>43031000
Fear from the Rails comes to mind

>>43030901
>But I think that even in the early story context, it is appropriate for Sawbones to put her on the back burner rather than immediately proclaim his witness to the miracles of the pike-staff.
And I get that in retrospect, I just don't think the story communicates it properly.

>I thought it was something of a mystery how she could manifest in the tent while clearly having been banished worlds away. At least in her introduction.
Hmm. See, there's one line she says:
>The moment of Our release must be drawing close, that such an offering brings Us thus, immenentized, here outside of our imprisonment, if only for a moment.
To me, this sounded pretty unambiguously like the real, actual NMM, and since the stars draw near to aiding her escape her moon-prison was weakened enough for her to be able to effectively project herself partially into reality, far from Equestria.
Now granted there's this moment where she almost touches the pike staff:
>She held a wing out to the pikestaff, but did not touch it, and even then, a black bolt of lightning jumped from the lance to her wing-claw, making her jump as if she had been shocked.
>"Oh! Indeed! You all have forgotten more than you’ve remembered! Here is something indeed! But too strong, too strong, I would lose my mind if I took all that in a sitting! I would be as empty as a foal if I drank all that down! Indeed, indeed, in fact, I almost feel something coming on…" She spun on her heels, turning to face the assembly.
>"I will return, this is worth the investment indeed! Your service has been well worth the wait!
So maybe this was the one time we see the real NMM reaching out from the Moon, and then she leaves and the rest of the story is just the staff's own magic manifesting as a Spirit? Perhaps I should have read deeper into this scene.

However I still don't like that the story doesn't let you guess at it properly, and instead just barely touches on the initial introduction and then omits mentioning her almost entirely for a while.
Also, you talk of her being "mad", but what I remember from that initial dialogue is her referencing various historical deeds, early campaigns and whatnot, which sounds just like what the presumably-real initial NMM apparition also immediately started ranting about which did not particularly help draw a distinction between the two.

>they have lost their apocalyptic religious cult tendencies
>I never expected them to be psychotic foal eaters.
I said cultists because they themselves call themselves that by the end of the story. Really the better phrasing would be that I expected a fic about Nightmare Moon loyalists.

>>43031051
No because I don't suffer from chronic skill issue and I'm not a complacent fag who lazes about with his prose but I see the challenge as a way to improve at writing.

>>43031051
No, not major decisions. Minor ones, though? Yeah, sometimes. Part of the reason why I soft-default into making one-off background OCs male more often than not is to make the pronouns clearer, like you said. But I also do it because it feels better to not have at least some stallions mentioned in the story.

>>43031373
AI slop.

>>43031484
It's inarguably easier to write this way. Not only would it be harder otherwise, the prose would be clunky in comparison. Now I'm trying to think about what I feel my last big improvement to be. It feels like I'm just getting more comfortable writing longer stories, so that counts for something, I suppose.

>>43031542
It's a little funny to imagine one's character asking why he or she was made a certain way, only to hear the response
>it was easier to write that way

>>43031725
>I'm trying to think about what I feel my last big improvement to be
The one you do before you die.
Ideally, you never stop improving. There's always something you can do better.

>>43031794
Of course. By last I meant latest.

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>nightmare dom fic
>it's fucking anthro
I am owed my government mandated nightmare moon dommy mommy smut WITH HOOVES

>>43031954
Sorry man, even my smut fic where Celestia accidentally infects the sunlight with her baby fever will be anthro. I like boobs.

>>43032015
I don't care about the Celestia sunlight you infidel

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>>43031421
In retrospect, I think it was never the real Luna/NMM, and most of the ambiguity comes from the way, in her insanity, the Spirit can't tell the difference between herself and the real deal. This is what I meant earlier, too, about the story's deceptions early on. It's not clear, and you can't reasonably guess, what the exact nature of the Spirit is. But all of that is fun for the reader. Unless, it's not fun because you want all the needed clues ASAP, but I don't. I was reading ITCON alongside another Lunaflag and he spoiled to me what she was (which I wanted) but the spoiler wasn't right (which ended up causing me more than a a little frustration). You could say you had it worse because you determined immediately that she was something she wasn't.

You said you can see in retrospect that it doesn't matter to Sawbones then, but I'm trying to say that I think that was clear even back then. Even if it was spoiled for you and you could go into the story back then and explain to his striped face that she is an astral projection of a disguised time travelling Queen Chrysalis, you should know, given his characterization by then, that he would just demand to know how to stop the pike-staff from killing the Captain.

>>43032024
Of course YOU wouldn't.

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New game: sort your Read it Later shelf by random, and read and review the first fic that pops up. If it's a long one then just read the opening chapters and post your thoughts on the story so far.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/482425/why-cant-i-sleep
I felt this one was a bit too short and the prose a bit too to-the-point to really do anything for me. I've read stories about unrequited love that worked quite well even when squeezed into such a tiny wordcount like this, but the prose needs to do a lot of heavy lifting for a story centered around emotion, and here I find it rather lacklustre. It often feels like it's just saying "Twilight is sad. She is sad and it hurts," and when it does try actually depicting her anguish instead of merely pointing it out, it either feels like it was applied to the wrong line or like the pacing robs it of any impact by jumping to the next thing as soon as the sentence ends instead of letting the taste linger a little bit. The setup is also a bit goofy, but probably could've worked in a longer fic where we actually see it all happen instead of having it clumsily mentioned here and there mid-scene.
>author wrote this all in the middle of the night while sleep deprived
Yeah, that explains it.

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>>43032531
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/232879/ocular-spectral-therapy
Well, that first chapter was... something. It's a rough read, but not even because of the content. The first paragraph hits you with
>Darkness was the only way of how the small world works, let alone the real world to say the very least; as a matter of fact, the small world is indeed the real world and vice versa too nonetheless. The jet black void was all that could be seen but not heard, felt, tasted, or smelled; yet, it can be also sensed as well anyways, devoid of even a modicum of light bearing any hue whatsoever to permeate through its entirety. For a moment, it had seemed that all was completely lost, its mere fate already sealed and set in stone to say the least before the very beginning; nothing else was going to even change that in the slightly.
It's suber verbose, and the worst type of purple in that it's outright just nonsensical in its attempt to seem profound.
It's actually rather hard to piece together everything that happened. AJ's in a mental hospital? I think AB got kidnapped and AJ went to go and save her but ended up getting attacked/assaulted instead, but AB did get away in the end? She ended up having a son that one of the girls is now raising? There's a war going on? AJ had I guess a mental break and tried to harm AB only to be stopped by "those people"? She's having a conversation with a voice from in the dark and it's just (vaguely) talking about things that happened before the story even started. Very messy, though that's probably why I RiL'd it.

>>43032724
Yikes, yeah that's too purple and vague for my tastes. Even just the description puts me off.

Somewhat related, does anyone else have separate RiLs for short oneshots and longer fics? Sometimes I just want to grab a quick snack from the fridge and sometimes I want to sit down for a full meal.

>>43032097
>It's not clear, and you can't reasonably guess, what the exact nature of the Spirit is. But all of that is fun for the reader. Unless, it's not fun
I don't mind piecing together clues, but I did not find it fun because I didn't even know it was a mystery.
I suppose as always it could simply be my fault for not picking up on clues, but I maintain that the annals-like structure just exacerbated the issue: if you don't figure out more or less what's up, then you're treated to the most boring arc of the story while the entire cast of characters summarily ignores the most burning topic of the story.
The colloquial, spoken, informal prose and narrative also doesn't help with taking the story as a puzzle, like I've mentioned at length in my earlier posts.

I don't know if I had it worse than you if you were spoiled to the wrong conclusion (though if you had doubts in the first place then maybe a seed of doubt would've still remained, while I thought I knew what was going on and was just frustrated).

>Even if it was spoiled for you and you could go into the story back then and explain to his striped face that she is an astral projection of a disguised time travelling Queen Chrysalis, you should know, given his characterization by then, that he would just demand to know how to stop the pike-staff from killing the Captain.
I'm not sure I fully agree. Maybe having read the entire story now I can see what you mean, but really, those early chapters gave the impression (to me at least) like the Company did care about its traditions, origins and mysticism. The loss of the original Annals in the desert was not just a historically unfortunate event from a scholarly point of view, it was explicitly described with the word "catastrophe". There's a passage that say something like "while the fresh recruits gawked at the banner, we Company ponies knew the pike-staff was the actual heart of the Company". Sawbones doesn't exactly come off as a purely practical non-believer, at least that wasn't my read on him in the early chapters.
Yes he's practical, but "our patron goddess has seemingly returned to patronise us directly" seems like a very practically useful matter.

>>43033026
One of each please

>>43031373
>AIcuck shit
I’d rather gargle bleach

>>43033105
Bleach Gargler was a hero.

>>43032781
Open your read it later folder and put "words:<10000" into the search bar, this will display only stories less than 10k words long. Change to your desired length

With Discord's upcoming photo ID/selfie requirement in March, anyone who wants to get a Fimfic account might want to do it soon.

>>43028009
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/201097/folder/21178/knight
Maybe one of these, anon?

>>43029116
I'd say anything south of 8k or so. More important is having good short/long synopses, which can be especially challenging to put together well for longfics.

>>43029192
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/242469/fly-to-the-stars-and-back
Has an 88k chapter and multiple 70k+ chapters. You'd read a full-length novel every time the autism updated.

>>43033655
>Fly to the Stars and Back
Gosh. I remember ages ago when this was discovered itt I tried to give the first chapter a read. I can barely even remember bits and pieces, but oh man. The MC is AJ's adopted cousin and they both wanna bang. There's a scene where Luna's in her throne room watching some of her guards screw, only for Pinkie to pop up and challenge her to a competition of who can bang the most/longest (I posted a snippet from the scene a while back I recall.) Also, at one point the MC goes on an adventure with Daring, and she ends up getting raped by Aztec ponies. That last part really stuck out because afterward there's a scene where MC reads Daring's new book and he's like "ah I see she left out the part about her being raped." Or something along those lines. Just batshit.

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No dying!

>>43034502
>now where could the moon be?
>LUNAFIELD!

I read my second Estee fanfic today (both were short stories). And even though they were written well, I just can't can shake the feeling that something's off. Maybe I dislike the style. Maybe it's the fact that everyone is so prim, correct, too much like their character? Not sure how to put it into words. Has anyone else experienced something similar while reading their stories?

>>43034567
I used to read Estee's blogposts for some reason when I was younger and bored. I have no idea what it's like now, but he used to blogpost a ton about his life, and it literally just
>I'm so unlucky, everything went wrong, because of course everything always goes wrong for me
>and then this went wrong, and then that got unlucky
>and then of course this and that failed, because nothing ever goes right with my luck
That and for some reason talking about "doing surveys", as in those shitty marketing scams that require all your personal data to have a 1% chance to win a $3 coca-cola coupon or whatever, because he was convinced it was a productive use of his time and the only way he could get some money.

That kind of personality comes through in your writing.

>>43034567
Estee is a good writer. But he has a slow style of writing. A drawn-out style of writing. The sort of style where a new sentence will contain no more than exactly one new piece of information. The sort of style where one abuses repetitions for emphasis with no shame or remorse. That sort of style. And he will linger on one train of thought. He will linger on it a lot. And then, just to keep you from falling completely asleep, he will spice his dull train of thought up with a bit of irony. And maybe what looks like a reasonabel conclusion. And you think that maybe this paragraph wasn't completely insufferable, that you can actually make it through this story. So you move to the next paragraph. And it all starts anew. That's the kind of writer Estee is.

>>43034567
I remember not liking certain aspects of how the M6 were written when reading Triptych (long), and the general more miserable/dour air that permeates his Equestria. (I'd say the worst example of this is that Applejack fic he wrote where she was travelling home and gets followed, not a pony story in the slightest in my eyes.) There are definitely aspects to his stuff that can easily rub someone wrong, yeah.

>>43034702
>Applejack fic he wrote where she was travelling home and gets followed
Kek, what? That seems so out of place in a pony fic it's ridiculous

>>43034702
>>43034762
>you can't touch certain subject matter in a pony fanfiction, here is this line, you're never ever allowed to go past that, understand?
Sometimes I think you guys are the exact kind of people who seethed at Lord of the Flies for corrupting the idealistic innocence of The Coral Island 70 years ago

>>43034762
It didn't need to be one in any capacity. Spoilers but Iirc, AJ's travelling back from Canterlot, there's a stallion outside at the train-station when she arrives. She tries to talk to him, but he's instantly super aggressive and AJ clocks there's something very wrong with him. She gets on the train but he gets on after her, and he's obviously eyeballing her the whole ride back to Ponyville. I think he starts to chase her when they return, AJ runs to the house(?) of a police-mare she knows and kicks her fence down, police-mare comes out and spooks away the stallion. Police-mare tells AJ that she knows the stallion, he's not a bad guy but severely mentally ill with a bad habit of stopping his pills when he starts to get 'better.' I think AJ considers maybe trying to talk to him if she sees him in the future but the police-mare goes "no, sadly you're just cemented as an enemy in his mind now, nothing to be done." AJ goes home, gets in bed and the fic ends on her feeling down about how there are ponies out there totally helpless to their mental issues. Nothing about it is distinctly pony at all. By all rights it's just an uncomfortable fic about a woman getting stalked home by an aggressive, mentally unwell man and learning that some people are extreme victims to their own issues.
>>43034775
Not what I said, thanks.

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>>43034762
The premise for it was totally unpony, but the resolution for it was quite pony. And it was otherwise well-written. The whole point was to be atmospheric (the title), and it delivered there.
I was trying to think of a fic of Estee's I liked, because Natural Ones was pretty unfunny, but that reminded me.

Did Estee write HIE fics or only easy genres?

>>43034777
500 Little Murders? Even considering that 90% of the fic's acclaim comes from the subject matter.

>>43034779
didn't he write a mario crossover once

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>>43034784
Another good story with an unpony premise, although not as badly so as Fog. I didn't pay attention to it being written by Estee, maybe there are others. I did like Fog more.

>>43034788
I thought Estee was a woman.

>>43034775
I'm not saying you can't write about that. It's just grossly out of place in canon equestria. If it were set some alternate universe, or maybe a Fo:E fanfic i'd buy it.

>>43034810
Probably true. It got that impression our of their stories.

>>43034904
I made two typos in a single sentence, kek.
*I
*out

Is Fimfiction down?

>>43034927
Not on my end.

>>43034927
Works for me

>>43034892
>It's just grossly out of place in canon equestria.
good news, anon; since it's a fanfic, it doesn't take place in canon equestria anyway.

>>43034776
Was the fic AI generated by any chance

>>43035067
>Estee
>AI generated
Newfagbro...

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>that 200k human-to-batpony fic in the feature box
>it's exactly my autism so I give it a try despite my low expectations
>first chatper flip-flops between first-person and third-person several times, all in the span of a few paragraphs
Man I wish there existed fics that were like that but competently written

>>43035037
There are stories that fit into canon and there are those that don't. A fanfic is a story set within a certain established universe. If you wanna write a fanfic, you follow the rules of said universe. If your fanfic breaks those rules, for example, by including some event that would never happen in the original story and you make no effort to come up with a way it could fit into canon, then your fanfic is an alternate universe story.

>>43035228
Every fanfic is an alternate universe story.

>>43035228
Problem:
FiM is a case where there's an unclear amount of "kid's show filter" that can be stripped back from the setting as presented, in order to expose the setting as it would realistically be.
It's kind of up to each individual author on how much of that "kid's show filter" they want to strip back, which may mean some people feel something's realistic to the setting, while someone else might think it's too IRL and gritty for the setting.

>>43034659
kek

>>43035270
Stripping is unnatural in a clothing-optional society like Equestria.

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>>43032531
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/385146/on-the-transience-of-adelasters
Apparently this is some sort of anthology, but each story is, well, it's own stand-alone story.
How peculiar.
Anyway, this has a very standard setting. Vinyl and Octavia are going to have a week-long vacation in Octavia's old family home, and then spooooky things happen. For such a generic and formulaic premise, I think it was decently executed.
There's this creature of folklore called an adelaster--Celestia knows why it's called that--which devours ponies after entrancing them with false promises.
It's not that long, and it's an enjoyable read. I think the bits where the story is formatted so the jumpscares come from Vinyl screaming in big, bold, italicised text is tacky, and detracts a bit from what could've been done more traditionally to emphasise the moment itself, but that's my preference.
Then, the ending comes, and it's a nice little way to tie it all together. Spoilers for a rather short story.
Vinyl has spent these three days seeing the creature creep around the house, waking her up and entrancing her, with Octavia consoling her and reassuring her. Then, on that third day, Octavia arrives, apologising for having been delayed so much. The Octavia that has been staying with Vinyl was the adelaster all along.
I think it's a good concept, but it ends so quickly that we don't get to dwell on that sense of betrayal and fear before the story is over.
What's in the story is good, but it's not executed to its full potential. Still, I don't have many actual negative things to say about the story itself, so I think it's a decent read.
Also, this is the fourth entry in this horror series, and I've only read the first one. I'll get to the rest some day.

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>>43032531
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/509241/somepony-my-speed
Read this one on a whim, and it turned out to be a decent little fic. And even though it has no romance tag, it does a better job at establishing a connection between Zephyr and Tree Hugger than some shipfics do with canon characters.
I guess that's just the power of friendship.
They just bounce off each other so naturally. The conversation flows nicely, they've got good chemistry, and a well written hippie is fun.
Anyway, there's not much to this one beyond fun. Because it is fun. And who doesn't love fun?
Fun fun fun.

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>>43035160
Be the autism you want to see in the cesspit.

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>>43036075
Went ahead and read the sequel.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/560185/the-perfect-wave
It's sweeter and finally delivers on the romance, but it's not as good. Too short, I'd say.
Zephyr and Tree Hugger's interactions are still the highlight, and there's a good lesson presented.
I guess I just wanted more. It comes, it says its thing, it shows both of them being happy.
It's fine, I suppose, but it doesn't feel as comfy as the previous one.
Still enjoyable, but only as an epilogue to the previous story.

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>>43032531
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/579925/acid-trip
This is an interesting one. And not just because I had never read or heard about acid zombies.
Anyway, apocalypse has come to Equestria and Starlight is savescumming to get the best possible run. She doesn't seem to have much success.
A 1k word story doesn't leave you room for fluff, so this hits the ground running and doesn't stop. Doomsday is going on and we're gonna see little glimpses of all possible choices Starlight can make.
Solid and succinct. Give it a shot.

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>>43032531
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/580053/no-bones-about-it
Roseluck finds a bone in her garden. It only gets worse from there.
This is a good one. I'm actually surprised how well it works. For a 1k story, it packs a lot, even if much of it is only suggested and presented for inference.
I won't say much else. It's definitely worth a read. Among the better stories I've read recently.

>>43036241
I remember that one. I found it kinda interesting, but not particularly compelling. I was more confused than horrified at the end. I actually had to stop and think, "What's supposed to be scary about this?" before I was able to put things together. Then I read it again, and I could see things building, and I thought it did okay at that if you knew what was supposed to be going on.

>>43031000
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/300693/shears maybe counts? I hated it. Basically Twilight tries to do S1 stuff and fails due to the many crippling mental illnesses that the author has arbitrarily inflicted upon her

>>43036350
The description says
>I identify this story as a so-called "rational" fiction
which alone is enough to make me not want to read it.

>>43032097
>I think it was never the real Luna/NMM
What do you mean, you think? It was spelled out pretty unambiguously toward the end IIRC, including in the final chapter

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>>43036380
He almost had a point, though. I would never have considered it because I am pretty staunch on "in the moon" banishment, where she could not have consciously done anything, over the "on the moon", where she could theoretically spellcast, but the story actually says the latter.
It's a weak interpretation to say that was, for half a minute, the actual NMM projecting herself through the pike-staff from the moon several worlds away, but it is at least arguable from the quoted text.

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Fics where the protagonist is scorned by society despite doing everything asked of him?

Mister Pants was my father.

I don't use pants.

>>43036773
Nobody uses pants, because you don't use pants. You wear them.

>>43036551
>despite doing everything asked of him
>can't get to class on time

>>43036380
>>43036479
He's started talking to himself. The illness is terminal.

The recent talk made me curious.
In (You)r opinion, what is the worst thing that could happen in a story, yet still have it feel like Equestria?
The show has had funerals, salt bars in place of regular bars, funny wars with pies and super duper serious wars in alternate timelines, regicides...
Where do you draw the line? What is the most you're willing to accept when it comes to darker topics?

>>43037504
I'd argue slavery. The Sombra war timeline shows him mind-controlling ponies, which is effectively a form of slavery.

>>43037504
Alicorn Twilight

>>43037504
It really depends on how you depict it, but the fact that slavery, racism, and possibly rape (Chrysalis) can exist sets the bar pretty high.
I think it's far easier to cross the line when you make present day ponies responsible for those kinds of things. The child abuse chapter of BP comes to mind as something that went too far for me.

>>43036479
>it's a weak interpretation
I maintain it as my interpretation even now, btw. Except I haven't gotten to the finale yet, so if that contradicts it then fair enough, but until then I believe that while it's ambiguous, to me it seems very reasonable to think it's the real one.

>"Our Company, indeed. One of many, it ought to be. The old Third, the bloody-bannered Third, that held against the traitor legions when all others fled in the rout in the Whitetail Wood, who held the peak of the Canterhorn while all others fled in the face of the Solar traitors. But you left me alone like all the rest in the end..."
>"...But I strain and I strain my thoughts and I cannot feel any of the others. Have they scattered so far, fled to worlds so far down the Chain of Creation that even I can not hear their deeds?"
These words suggest two things to me: firstly, she's recognising the Company as just one of several, basically saying "oh yeah you guys are the Third, that one, the one who did such and such back in the day, yeah I remember", which doesn't sound like something you'd say if you were a spirit that had lived directly within this very Company for centuries.
And secondly, she's "straining" her thoughts to try to find the other Companies, presumably even across other worlds in the Chain except ones who are "too far down", which implies that she's able - or expects to be able - to sense them even across multiple worlds, as long as it's not "too far". So it seems perfectly reasonable to expect that she's reaching the Third from Equestria, and that Tambelon is presumably not that far down relatively speaking.

Of course it's also possible to interpret this as a fragment of NMM's identity who exists entirely within the pike-staff and the gestalt of the Company's subconscious and essense, but simply doesn't know it, and therefore still holds her old memories (acting as if she was the original NMM) and thinks she's able to reach through multiple worlds but in reality cannot. And if you assume that NMM is initially just purely insane and incoherent, then of course you can conclude anything and ignore everything she says.
But if you put any weight into her words, IMO they fully support the idea of an initial contact directly from Equestria, possibly followed by some kind of transfer between her essense and the pike-staff and a localised shard, the Spirit-who-is-not-Luna, waking up and accompanying the Company henceforth, while the real NMM keeps biding her time and is now waiting for the fragment to return to Equestria so she can absorb it and its gathered power.

>I am pretty staunch on "in the moon" banishment, where she could not have consciously done anything
I fully agree with that too, the idea that she'd be physically walking around on the moon is dumb, but IMO if her prison was weakening over time there's no reason why she might not have been able to briefly begin projecting and influencing the outside world even with her essense still imprisoned.

>>43037504
In my mind, what sets Equestria apart from Earth is that suffering is not supposed to be a fact of life there. Evil ponies exist but they get their comeuppance, villains exist but a villain attack is an extraordinary occasion. Something like Coco being abused by Suri can be stopped simply by Coco getting brave enough to walk out, and the world is nice enough that when she does things work out for her and that is how Equestria works. And Suri existing is already something exceptional, unusual; stories or episodes like that are treated like small adventures, with a small-time villain du jour but nevertheless still a villain.

I haven't read Fog but the spoilered synopsis an anon posted above feels out of place to me because the stalker stallion is treated as just something that happens. The story is basically slice-of-life. AJ is just taking the train on a normal day, meets a normal pony who happens to be mentally ill and a stalker, has a terrible experience, and it's just life according to the world the story depicts: the stalker is not a villain, the story is not an adventure, it really is just slice of life and bad ponies exist as a matter of course. That's what makes it feel not like Equestria to me.

>>43037504
Regarding the physical stuff, I'd say things like broken bones are normal, so when it comes to damage to ponies, that's about the level of what I'd expect. Broken bones, contussions, maybe some bad illness, or something like that.
If it veers too far into gory territory, then I have my doubts--unless I'm explicitly reading something advertised as horror or a dark thriller.
Other than that, I pretty much agree with >>43037843
I'd need to see a clear "Dark" tag, or "Alternate Universe" before I can suspend my disbelief and have ponies behave like the worst of humanity.

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>>43037803
I don't want to take away from your enjoyment of the final chapter, so I'll say you can maintain that interpretation. The story doesn't account for every one of Luna's popsicle-minutes on the moon, so you can get away with technicalities. I don't think it was really her because for the parts where the story is clear, it's clear she's a copy.

Have fun!

>>43037843
This is me and why I could never take Rainbow Factory seriously.
The one with Twilight teleporting and leaving a copy to go forward works almost better. Darkness as a consequence of something else, not darkness because ponies are rapists or all want to secretly kill Scootaloo because she's got that SCP power that makes ponies want to kill her or something.

>>43037504
What I have gleamed from the responses to this post is that everyone in this thread is retarded and incapable of thinking abstractly beyond categories and relations.

>>43038250
>he needed confirmation
Anon, you may have been retarded all along ...

>>43038250
Please enlighten us, O mystic sage.

>>43038250
Was there ever any doubt?

>>43038984
Town bicycle

I'll say that putting the cameo aside, The Big Lebowski is imo a good example of how far you can take shit while keeping the pony feel. Barring the Jesus sex offender bit, you could just swap the cast and setting to ponies and Equestria and it'd still fit for me, no need for an AU tag even with all the swearing, violence and sex.
What do you guys think

>>43039420
What's the Equestrian equivalent of a White Russian?

>>43039430
Pale griffon.
See griffons are Russians because the whole fandom thought they were going to be some badass rival nation to Equestria but instead they're a destitute crumbling shithole inhabited by miserable assholes.

>>43039448
I don't see any connection to real world politics Walter

>>43039556
You don't see a lot of things.

>>43039448
>a destitute crumbling shithole inhabited by miserable assholes
But enough about Fimfic.

>>43039679
Hey now, I'm happy with myself.

>>43033746
>Rainbow opens the book to a particular page. "Cause Daring Do talks about how Southern Cross saved her from being raped by natives and finding a weird creature they take down."
>'Ah, I see you edited it a bit Daring.' Blitz thinks. "Still not seeing why it's a big deal, I mean it is fantasy." Blitz says.
Kek. Wild all that happens in the first chapter, but I guess that's what a 77k chapter gets you.

>>43034567
> I have no idea what it's like now
It's the same. He's currently in the middle of the "I have to move out of my apartment because my rent's going up 50%" arc. Most recent chapter was about cutting up hundred year old furniture his mother imported from Italy because Ebay wouldn't let him sell it.

>>43036018
>spoiler
Why does the monster do all that? There's no reason to create a cliche horror setting if it can skinwalk as Octavia. It's like it's going out of its way just for the lulz. Reminds me of that Flash Sentry horror fic where Twibomination screwed around for a few decades as canon just because.

>>43037504
>What is the most you're willing to accept when it comes to darker topics?
I'm not in the "not pony-like enough" faction of the thread and both put up with a lot and have some pretty dark writing myself, but Redheart's War's "throw the POWs in the ocean and watch them drown" war crime still pissed me off and felt like a deep betrayal of what Equestria should be.

>>43038223
>not darkness because ponies
Reminder that the "canon" explanation for why that spell is so retarded is because an evil unicorn intentionally designed it that way.

>>43040148
Can't blame Filthy for crushing on such a cutie.

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Unspeakable atrocities with no red tags, in
>/FSBC/

I am not sure what I expected, but this was not it. Well, to be fair to the fic, I wouldn't say it's bad yet—but, most certainly, it is never what I expect it to be. I found myself more than willing to go along with it for now, but after reading 2/3 of it, I'm not sure the plot ever really had a goal in mind. We're tossing and turning every which way, settling into story threads that seem like setting the direction for the fic to take—only to be subverted the very next chapter.

Skipping ACW was good. But the Foil 'arc' came to such an abrupt stop that it's no wonder Erranax was thrown off the cliff alongside the readers. Then he stumbles into Fluttershy, and it seems like the fic will fulfill the implicit promise of its tags by starting a redemption arc. Only, he doesn't, and instead he immediately picks up Flutters to go with him on the quest. That goes on for about half a chapter before we turn again, this time because of him callously poisoning to death dozens of guards and an entire train's worth of ponies just to cover his escape.
It was at this point that I realized I could make no inferences about the fic's direction, and the tags are of no help. So when, following his massive ponicide, we get back to what seems to be the redemption arc with FS, I didn't even bat an eye. Nor was I surprised when it was interrupted by on-screen changeling sex. We're back to Fluttershy now? I have no idea. That arc seems extremely unlikely now, but there isn't anywhere else for the story to go.

However, despite all of that, I remain invested in the fic. The writing is pleasant, and the quick pacing actually did a lot to liven up the bug's internal monologuing habits. Taken in the vacuum, the middle part of the fic was perhaps more fun than the first despite the linguistic novelty wearing off. There is less language nerdery, too, but the titles and how they're used in the chapters are still very fun. So is the alien perspective. Even now, the sense of wrongness and alien culture of the changelings comes through very strongly. Unfortunately, some of that wrongness also applies to the ponies. While some of it could be excused as his biased perspective, several scenes feel like they don't belong in a non-AU fic—from the random tangent about human-like family trips at the start to the bloodthirsty farmer at the end.
Also, since I like to note those things, this week delivered two words I genuinely had to look up: "trenchant" and "inutile"! Both are quite nice; the former for the sharp sound that matches its meaning, and the latter for its simplicity and clarity. The use of "I ejaculated" as a said tag in the sex scene was funny, I'll give him that. In general, there's quite a lot of entertaining writing in this fic, goodness of the story aside.

Celestia only knows what will happen next. Regardless, we'll be seeing this story to completion next week. No voting because Her Soldiers, We was already voted on.

>>43040379
>I wouldn't say it's bad yet
That's surprising to me. I dropped the fic last week, so I'm just going off of what you wrote; but you make it sound like the plot is a disaster.

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>>43040590
>the plot is a disaster
"Disaster" is too much. I'd say it struggles to hold a direction, but any random chapter you could pick would read well—it's just that they have a problem with consistently building a story. If you try to read this fic just for the plot alone, then yes, I'd say that makes it bad. However, the other parts of the story are still holding up well. The changeling perspective and the language playfulness in the writing were clearly communicated as major points of focus, and they remain that in week two. That works about as well as in the first third. It's fun and unique. In spite of its flaws, I've yet to be bored by a chapter. The relative lack of errors helps, too.
After week 1, I was going to leave a like on the fic for attempting something unusual and doing it well enough. Now, though, I am much more neutral on the story.

Whatcha writing

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>>43040379
I read up to the aftermath of the train scene, just to see if it was any better this go-around. It wasn't.
I did continue liking the parts I did read, other than that, though. The prose is really good at evoking moods; not the grammatical ones, but emotional ones. Wonder, excitement, fear and various kinds of tension.
I also really liked the games the prose was playing with the lantern light during the train search, and the trippy visuals with Foil's eyes. But Foil's death is unbelievable and incredibly disappointing. I hate how the story fails to say anything meaningful about how it happens. He just keels over after Errenax's ineffectual struggle.
Going back to last week's reading, I remembered having a lot of fun with the grammar lessons, and like you said, Errenax's alien perspective is just a ton of fun and really engaging.

Anyway, I'm going to pull on of my moves now. If someone wanted to read the relatively normal, good part of the story, they should stop at the chapter where Foil kicks Errenax off the cliff. That is kinda boring, the story does little to reward you for going further. It does do some things: to the club readers who are in it for the schizo part of the fic, I'm going to compare this to Sunrise. You should simply drop the story at the point where it pisses you off: it's delivered most of the "good" crazy shit and most of the rest of the story is bad crazy shit. It is bad in several ways, but mostly in that it is a series of increasingly unbelievable character interactions just to continue the story. You could be reading Tuna! Or the next club fic!

>>43040667
You, however, should drop the story on Indicative. Indicative is the genuine appropriate end for the fic. The epilogue is a devastation to everything preceding it in a very comparable way to the epilogue of Bug. The author, even, knowing this, gives you one last chance to drop the story at the top of the epilogue, and you should take it. It's one of the main reasons the story doesn't have a pool of red tags, and the most egregious missing tag of all, [Tragedy].

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>>43040871
Complete and utter nonsense.

>>43033746
Maximum kek.

>>43040871
Some miserable ponies. They’re so unhappy that this is guaranteed to turn out a great story.

>>43037843
>tfw this anon will downvote your fic if you don't go out of your way to frame a malicious pony as something completely abnormal and fantastical

>>43040981
Autists are cryptids in Equestria.

>>43040981
NTA but if your fic had a rapist and ponies' reaction to it was just "yeah he's the town rapist, what to do about it" I also would.

>>43041034
What does a rapist cutie mark look like?

>>43041048
It's just the [Non-con] tag

i read the opening to a story where a colt gets his cutie mark and the cutie mark looks like him fucking the shit out of celestia.

>>43041325
Stop posting about The Only Mark That Matters every thread.

>>43041379
I don't, I'm the anon that posts about weird things I find. last time i said i read a story where luna's newborn dies on the moon

>>43040879
>If someone wanted to read the relatively normal, good part of the story
It is reasonable to say this, but with that strategy, I'm not sure the fic is ever worth recommending. The fic is mostly good up to that point; however, if you're not engaged with the cool things it's doing, reading just the first 40% is kind of a waste of time.
I cannot verify the second recommendation yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was more correct. If the train or the chapters at the farmer's house make someone drop it, at least he'd get a bit more of the good stuff that can be found here. Maybe it gets better later; perhaps it doesn't. I'll see about that next week. But if someone's interested in Subjunctive (which is probably only true for a relatively small fraction of people), it's not a good suggestion to stop before it "gets bad".
>drop the story on Indicative
I might do that, then. At the very least, I can write the post and judge the story based on everything up to that part. And if curiosity makes me open the epilogue, I'll try to not have it bias my opinion of the rest too heavily.

>>43041466
>last time i said i read a story where luna's newborn dies on the moon
Was it based on that old art?

>>43041633
Yes. I remember that fic and it sucks. It just never goes anywhere.

>>43041034
Honestly that sounds like a hilarious crackfic.
>"Hi! My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I—"
>The earth pony raised an eyebrow. "You must be new here."
>"Why, yes! I just moved to Ponyville. I've made a few friends, but I'd like to make more."
>"Pleased to meet you, Twilight Sparkle. My name is Rough Stuff, and I'm Ponyville's town rapist."
>"Erm... I'm sorry, what? I didn't catch that."
>"Ponyville's town rapist. I rape ponies."
>Twilight drew back a little. "Um. I see. I don't think I've ever heard of anything like that before. Isn't that usually, you know, a bit illegal?"
>"Not for me. I'm a public servant. Ponyville passed a ballot initiative a few years ago—overwhelmingly, I might add—and created the position of town rapist. It's my sworn duty to rape Ponyville's residents."
>Twilight realized she was creeping backwards. "In that case, I think I need to be going—"
>"Don't worry, I'm not on the job right now. To tell the truth, being a rapist can be more boring than you might think. I can't just rape and run. I have to document everything. How did I choose my victim, how much resistance did they put up, what sex acts did I force them to do, what physical violence was involved, on and on."
>Twilight felt herself morbidly fascinated. "That's... very unusual."
>"Oh, for sure. The worst part, honestly, is the demographics. Ponies have things to do during the day. If I break into somepony's house in the morning and rape them, I might be keeping them from their dentist appointment, and they'd have to pay a missed appointment fee. That wouldn't be nice, would it? So I work at night. But then I can't always see who I'm raping. I'm supposed to rape equally. Same number of earth ponies as unicorns as pegasi, that kind of thing. Which mostly isn't too hard except for one thing. I can't tell how old they are in the dark. I'm supposed to rape middle aged ponies just as often as young adults (and the middle aged ones actually vote), but usually it's too dark to tell who's who until after I get started."
>"You could just not rape them?"
>He shook his head. "No, once I get started, it'd be rude to stop, you know? I have standards. When I interviewed—"
>"You interviewed for this?"
>"Sure did. Submitted references, passed a background check. You wouldn't want an actual criminal in this kind of position, you know? Last year, I went to the Equestrian Town Rapists Society's annual convention, and I was surprised to learn how lax some small towns are about this stuff. I grew up in Baltimare, and the whole city takes rape really seriously. There's a whole Department of Rape."
>"A whole department? I guess I've never been to Baltimare, but—"
>"It's small, but yeah. They share space with the Department of Traffic and Parking Enforcement."
>"Whoa. This is all really new to me and kind of... surprising."
>"Really? Where are you from?"
>"Canterlot."
>He nodded. "That would be why. They don't employ town rapists there. Her Majesty does all the raping herself."

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>>43041763
>They share space with the Department of Traffic and Parking Enforcement.
Thanks for that, nonny.

>>43041763
>Her Majesty does all the raping herself.
Kek

Anybody else reading the clubfic but hasn't posted a review yet for whatever reason? I don't see any point to giving it another week if there's only 2 readers and one is asking people to stop and read something else

>>43041892
>Anybody else reading the clubfic but hasn't posted a review yet for whatever reason?
Yeah, I'll post it at night or tomorrow

>>43041663
Sorry, did you expect a fic about Luna's aborted moon baby to not suck?

>>43042056
I mean it's more like
It starts with the baby dying and then it just meanders, Luna's back and she's all depressed but doesn't tell Celestia and it just goes on and on and goes nowhere.

>>43042056
Well, yeah, of course. The baby's dead, so it can't suck Luna's teats. How is the fic supposed to suck if there's no sucking?

>>43042153
Really it's not a good fic if Luna doesn't breastfeed somepony or, through actions, allow some other pony to breastfeed.

>>43042164
It's not as important for her to help ponies breastfeed as it is for her to help Alex, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to suckle Celestia.

>>43042181
Oh no, Alex doesn't WANT to suckle Celestia, but circumstances have simply made the entire suckling unavoidable. Like an oncoming milk truck.

>>43042182
Alex, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to suckle Celestia, wants to suckle Celestia just as much as Travis, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to fuck Rarity, wants to fuck Rarity.

>>43042203
Is it truly desire when the universe ensures you wanted to want it in the first place?

>>43042181
>>43042182
>>43042203
Why are people saying I’m into cryptocurrency and want to suckle celestia?

>>43040871
Slowly chipping away at my deadfic. I'm going to have to confront the reality that the climax sucks and there's nothing I can do about it because the story is too far along in development and it's become structural to the plot.

>>43042272
>the climax sucks
Switch to vaginal

>>43042276
>Switch to vaginal
Suicidal words to Luna and her followers.

just finished synthetic bottled sunlight... it made me hard every time nightmare mockingly called twilight chubby. just imagining her tastefully pudgy mare belly and fat crotchtits really elevated the story for me

I also liked the rest of the writing in it but that's less important

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>>43042471
I like it when Twilight's insecure over her weight because she eats like a fucking pig.

>>43041034
>Equestria in Romania

>>43041763
To be honest I think you've exhausted all of the humour in the idea in a single 3000 character post. Possibly even halfway through the post or so.

>>43042164
>or, through actions, allow some other pony to breastfeed.
Well, TMA and ITCON are both fine then at least

>>43042814
You're tempting me to go on.

>Twilight loudly calls Shining her oniichan in the JP dub
So how popular is Sparklecest over there?

that fucking muddy puddle fic again
it's even less coherent this time

>>43043203
Holy kek, I think this version is even more autistic than the last.

>>43043203
>muddypuddleverse

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>>43042486
I like it when Twilight eats like a fucking pig but is confident about her weight and knows its allure

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I decided to skim through this part of a Utaan chapter when Skirts decided to talk about Dash's sexuality, but some of what Rarity and Pinkie said got a bit of a chuckle from me.

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I checked in on r/hpmor and they're recommending TMA. But why have I never heard of Harry Potter and the Prancing of Ponies? It's a fucking HPMOR crossover!

>>43043363
>rarity says "a filly who chooses to be frisky with other fillies"
>dash tries going all "there's no choice about it sweaty"
Rarichud is unironically correct, you can be attracted to anyone but who you actually get frisky with is always a choice

>>43043203
Muddy Puddle guy and the guy that writes the bajillion shitty worm/MHA sunset shimmer crossovers should kiss.

>>43043286
Nah, that bitch is a pile of insecurities and quarter pounders.

>>43043406
See >>43041763

>>43043483
I am fairly certain Rarity is specifically not talking about the case where another filly chooses to get frisky with you, so her wording is on point.

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>>43043406
Is that how you give yourself permission to read E [Romance] fics?

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>>43043604
I don't even ask for permission, even from myself.

>>43043604
Huh what
I genuinely don't get your point

>>43043617
He thinks the judge will believe it was physically impossible for him to not touch those kids.

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>>43043617
It's a common chud "rhetorical" device to claim being lesbian is a choice, the implication in the post is that Rainbow would not really be lesbian if she chooses not to have sex with mares, that she suppresses herself. My joke is that the poster suppresses himself by not reading the purest form of romance stories unless they are E, so that he can tell himself the marelove is platonic.

>>43043607
>plot twist, the reporter has actually had a mutual crush on the camerastallion for years but never found the courage to speak up

>>43043635
The post literally says
>you can be attracted to anyone
So I don't know how you decided that it's supposedly meant to imply the opposite. The point of the post is that Rainbow would not really have sex with mares if she chooses not to have sex with mares, that is it. And in particular it's poking fun at Rarity's choice of words and how all the other self-righteous ponies ignore it.

It's basically saying
>being a buttfucking sodomite is a choice, you know
>noo how insensitive, you don't choose who you're attracted to!
You don't HAVE to stretch your anus and that's basically what Rarity was saying, if taken literally.
Obviously that wasn't skirts's intention, but she does say that and it can be interpreted this way if desired.

>>43043653
>You don't HAVE to stretch your anus
You need to see >>43041763, too

>>43043653
Everything can be interpreted in bad faith if you ignore the context. This is obviously about the attraction and not the act itself.

>>43043648
>plot twist: Cadance's magic retroactively changes reality so that the pony she wanted you to fall in love with always had feelings for you

>>43043676
>Everything can be interpreted in bad faith if you ignore the context.
Not really. If Rarity had said "a filly who chooses to be attracted to other fillies" then there wouldn't be any other interpretations.
You can always twist meanings if you try enough, but at least the simplest literal interpretation is always in the author's control, because they choose the words they write down.
>This is obviously about the attraction and not the act itself.
Yes and I am obviously being facetious, it's clearly clear what skirts meant and the other characters react accordingly.

>>43043673
>”alright every pony, line up and lift your tails”
>man I hate mandatory anus expansion day.”

>>43043875
Sad worldbuilding fact: Due to the gender ratio in Equestria being 9-1 mares to stallions, no school has Penis Inspection Day.

I'm writing a story where Twilight's parents become scared that Rainbow Dash is turning her into a lesbian and go spy on her
What ridiculously obscene faux pas should Dash commit in front of her parents that makes her obviously a lesbian.

>>43043907
Eats a hay taco really messily.

>keep starting side fics for no fucking reason

>>43043878
The actual ratio as measured by the big chart that counted all ponies that appear is closer to 6-5 IIRC.

>>43043930
the canon ratio is 1:1

>>43043930
It's if you count adults. The ratio for kids skewed stronger because shit like Tempest's backstory is commonplace.

>>43043907
Eating out Twilight in public

>>43043907
Calls Twi's mom hot

Night Light and Twilight Velvet are prim and proper, respectable Canterlot ponies. What will they think when a member of their daughter's friend group is a raging lesbian. A flaming bulldyke - a supersappho if you will. It's Rainbow Dash.
(Twi's parents meet M6 in Canterlot)
(Rainbow Dash's faux pas here)
Night Light immediately stiffened, and through his stilted smile he shared a nervous glance with his wife. They bid all present here good day and returned to their home.
"She better not try anything with our Twilight. That's all I'm saying."
NL: "Perhaps we're overreacting. There's only one of them in her friend group. Maybe she's just a one-off. A weirdo, didn't you know any weirdos in graduate school?"
"But, honey, even just knowing one is a temptation"
Twilight's parents always had an anxiety in the back of their heads that she would turn out sexually deviant, since she never expressed any interest in colts, only books, for 20 years. They had once discussed this before and came to the conclusion that they couldn't possibly know if she was seeing someone as she spent much of her time out of the house studying at the library. They hoped Twilight was having a secret affair with a good colt, preferrably, a noble unicorn which was as much as they could hope for. Twilight Velvet took a day off work, donned a trench coat, fedora, and a nifty pair of sunglasses, and followed Twilight into the library. After 8 hours of reading books and watching Twilight Sparkle out of the corner of her eye, she thought about returning home.
Twilight's parents, recalling this, locked eyes. Twilight Velvet sighed.
"I'll ask when I can take off work next week."
Outcomes
Twilight admits she doesn't like Rainbow Dash and is repulsed by her lesbian ways.
Twilight was in fact converted into a lesbian, and the main six is RD's polycule.
Twilight is not a lesbian, but a series of hilarious coincidences and Velvet's misinterpretations makes her think she is

>>43043907
Eating out Twilight on the dinner table.

>>43043907
be seen exiting a building with a mysterious clear fluid on her hands and hooves.

>>43040379
This may be super late, but it wouldn't be right to leave this week's portion without a write-up.

The chapters with the lessons were nice, but I'm glad they ended quickly and we got to the aftermath of the attack. I liked the falling out with Foil, very tense and dramatic. Foil's angry monologue being completely in subjunctive is the cherry on top.

My favorite chapter was probably the short one where Errenax began to figure out his new plan and manipulate Fluttershy, as this was sort of a turning point that really hammered home what kind of person Errenax truly is. Even after getting humbled, he is still cunning and cowardly above anything else, and isn't looking to be redeemed any time soon. Which is good: I enjoy this kind of villain, a weasel always a few steps away from failure, but managing just to worm their way out every time.

The narrative style remains mostly fine, but does get tiring at points: Errenax loves taking his time rambling about whatever, and this can get pretty grating when it's something that doesn't advance the story. But maybe that's more the fault of trying to binge the whole story in three weeks, it might read better when taken in smaller chunks. The one outlier is the train chase sequence, where the prose is far too purple to convey the actual events. I'm still not sure if Foil actually died, if the tunnel actually caved in, and if anyone on the train survived, and Fluttershy seems determined to not provide any answers afterward.

(1/2)

>>43044066
Some minor things:
>I'm glad the second train scene does finally mention the impact of a train's sound of Errenax
>his sudden joy from the train ride seems a little rushed, but then again, the memoir style this is imitating doesn't always have satisfying pacing either
>with how prominent the musings on changelings' TF ability become in Errenax's narration at this point, it's all the stranger that the first few chapters describing his early life barely made any mentions of it; it's technically plausible, but still hampers the immersion
>I liked the flowery sex scene, but not how the plot stops for the next 3k words to try and throw a hasty romance together. What is Fluttershy thinking during this time? "Huh, Errenax sure is taking a long time killing that changeling... well, it's probably nothing". The intense battle scene later makes up for it though

And I would say the unpredictability here a feature rather than a bug... At least for now, until I may see what all of this was meant to be leading up to. I still wonder what Fluttershy's real role in the story could be.

(2/2)

>>43044070
Oh, and I forgot to mention my favorite sentence
>As I watched her, I could feel immobility and impotence wrapping the slender stalks of their i’s round my body and squeezing me till I became nearly breathless.

>>43043907
Eating out Twilight in a taco costume.

>>43043907
Getting frisky with a filly (she's playing with Scootaloo in the snow (playing as in oral))

>>43043907
>"Let me tell ya, Twi's mind goes to wrong places sometimes. Did I tell you about that time she was reading some egghead book as I was coming and we smashed each other so hard she passed out? What kind of pony reads at a time like this? Well, at least she wasn't groaning for long after that, I won her over with the good ol' RD charm and a bit of silver tongue of my part. That's the benefits of friendship with a pony like Twilight for ya!"

>>43043907
Going to U-Haul

>"I like to go fast, but Twilight taught me sometimes it's better to take it slow."

>>43044078
>>43044049
>>43044018
Night Light and Velvet were out on the town one night in Canterlot when eagle eyed Velvet spotted Twi with a group of strange mares. Twilight hasn't had the time to properly introduce her new friends since the whole nightmare moon thing. They retire to a recommended restaurant
Rainbow Dash suddenly out of nowhere ducks her head under Twi and slams her on the table before eating her out
Twilight Velvet bursts into tears from the shame and Night Light tries to conjure a curtain to no avail. They are banned from the restaurant and kicked from their social clubs as word spreads around that their daughter is a dyke. Princess Celestia reprimands Twilight Sparkle and Dash has to pay a fine for public indecency. Night Light and Twilight Velvet no longer can meet each other's eyes, divorce, and move from Canterlot to escape the shame. They never speak to Twilight again...

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>>43043907
I want a fic where rainbow professes that she’s a
F

A

G

G

O

T

but nobody takes her seriously and treats her like a rebellious child and this makes her feel humiliated and belittled but she realizes she really likes being treated like that and feeling like that and then falls in love with a stallion that learns about this and uses it to seduce her and she stops being interested in faggotry.

>>43044160
i just want a fic with a semi-homophobic character who isn't primarily an antagonist.

>>43044178
>celestia:”total faggot death”.
>”ack!”
>and then all the faggots died
>the end
There is that satisfactory?

>>43044186
no, that's too homophobic. it has to be semi

I want a fic.

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>>43044203
>>43031006

>>43044203
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/314882/my-fluttering-heart

>>43044218
Mommy!

>>43044203
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/500819/

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>>43042181
>types this
>suddenly it updates again with this
Bro your powers of prophecy?

>>43044178
I have a fic with a pedophile who isn't an antagonist if you want.

>>43044439
yeah, i'd take that too.

>>43044222
that was good

>>43044203
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/587901/

>>43044421
I just started reading this fic and only after seeing this post did I experience gnosis.

>>43044635
>I just started reading this fic
You really shouldn't. There's plenty of baby momlestia fics out there that aren't multi-chapter justifications for why Celestia is breastfeeding an adult human man named Alex. I'm sure some of them even still have breastfeeding inside them!

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multiple sunset mud puddle fics
meanwhile that fic (You) like will never update

>>43044638
>”the fic couldn’t possibly have such a significant portion of its duration revolve around such a subject, right?” He said to himself as he continued to read.

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>>43044638
And lo and behold, some of them do!

>>43044652
The fucking crux of this thing's plot is that Alex, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to suckle Celestia, HAS to suckle Celestia because if he doesn't he will die. Like the fic makes up a significant amount of pony biology headcanons entirely to justify why Alex, who is into cryptocurrency and wants to suckle Celestia, will in fact be suckling Celestia and not a) another more appropriately sucklable mare or b) just drinks some fucking formula.

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>>43044654

>>43044659
I'm sincerely confused. What qualities would make a more appropriately sucklable mare more appropriately sucklable? Celestia is the biggest, so by the space ork rules her milk should, logically, be the bestest and appropriatestest.

>>43044686
Milky Way would have a lot to say about that.

>>43044654
>Celestia, who does not understand cryptocurrency and doesn't understand how breastfeeding works.

>>43044654
Who's the lucky filly?

>>43044738
Alessandra, who is into etsy handicrafts, and wants to suckle on Celestia's teats.

>>43044767
Somehow it's less bad if it's a girl

>>43044767
Should have been Alexa, who spies on you and wants to suckle on Celestia's teats

>>43044824
based and correct

>>43043907
>ridiculously obscene faux pas
I take it this is the climatic punchline after a whole fic of misunderstandings and gay paranoia? If so, sex on a public beach with Blossomforth. You get the obscene gay comedy + confirmation that Dash finds characters that look like both Twilight and her mom hot.

>>43044654
Reminds me of that screenshot from the Shining Armor rape baby fic where Twilight casually tells the newborn to stop trying to suckle her teats.

>>43044686
I'm not 100% on horse biology and I'm not about to add it to my google history, but I assume the sucklebility of a mare's teats are directly tied to the estrus cycle and there would be wet nurses more "qualified" to handle a newborn.

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>>43044852
>I'm not 100% on horse biology and I'm not about to add it to my google history
Coward.

>but I assume the sucklebility of a mare's teats are directly tied to the estrus cycle and there would be wet nurses more "qualified" to handle a newborn.
There are most certainly cutie marks for that.

>>43044852
>Reminds me of that screenshot from the Shining Armor rape baby fic
Which one? There's quite a lot of Shining Armor rape baby fics. The guy's just built for it or something.

>>43044738
Luna, obviously.

>>43044885
well he is the character in the show most likely to have been raped.

>>43044890
No no, in Equestria all couples wait until marriage, even imposters.

>>43044891
amogus in equestria

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>>43044890
No

>ITCON
Finally finished it. Well, fuck.
Massive spoilers of course, I'm not putting the entire post in a spoiler tag.

I think, in many ways, I went into the fic with the wrong expectations (or built them early on). One of them that I formed in the first few chapters was that it was going to be a world-hopping adventure, and then about a third of the way through or so I realised they probably really were just going to be sitting in Tambelon for the entire story and was mildly disappointed, but it is what it is.
Another and bigger one was that as it was quickly revealed that the Company were effectively Lunarists, or descendants of Lunarists, I firmly expected that by the end of the story they'd finally return to Equestria and reclaim their rightful place by the throne of the Princess of the Night. The last two chapter names I saw in the table of contents, "Coming Home" and "To Luna", only helped seal this impression right from the start of the story.
That was obviously my mistake, but I only really started to suspect something was wrong when I my ereader told me I was 90% of the way through and I was still in the middle of a drawn-out arc with the Company deeply invested in random irrelevant skirmishes in rural Tambelon, with no sign of moving out.

The ending, such as it is, is honestly excellent, and mechanically it wraps up the story and its world very nicely. I was kind of wondering towards the end how all the plotlines would get resolved, and Mitch handled it very very well.
But I cannot help but feel bittersweet. Yes, everything is (mostly) happy, but... but. But the Company will never meet Luna, not in whole. But Feufollet says she will probably never meet Luna. But the Third Thestral Batallion is dead, explicitly called out as dead and gone. I don't know why, but that last one makes me particularly sad - the early story made a big deal of the lost history of the Company, and I kind of went in with the hope of a big happy ending where Luna comes back and her wayward Company returns home and its original purpose is finally fulfilled. Not necessarily in a bloody vengeance, maybe tamed, reformed, reshaped into something better, but still carrying the core loyalty to their Princess, to the Night, and coming home. But instead the sad remnants of the "old ways" go mad with lust for power, self-immolate, and the new Company isn't just a tamed loyalist batallion, but explicitly distances itself from the old Third and considers itself something different, as far as I gather. History erased and legacy extinguished, reduced to a warband carrying around an egregor effigy of the "Princess", shunning their origins and quarantining themselves from Equestria.

>>43045463
And the souls of the Company, the centuries of deaths in the service, cannot even be returned to Equestria either. What are "the stars in her mane", if "she" is nothing but a manifestation of the Company's own magic, not even an actual fragment of Luna but rather apparently a completely independent manifestation from old memories and feelings? The Third Thestral, and the loyalists of the night for centuries, will never again be reunited with their Princess. You might say, oh they were traitors, followers of the Nightmare, who would bring destruction to Equestria just for a chance of vengeance. But even if Obscured Blade is an echo of the true face of the Company in the early days, if they were all cultist fanatics bent on destruction and revenge at any cost, then what of everypony since? What of the many deaths in the service of the Spirit, what of Sawbones? The Nightmare of the pike-staff is herself tamed and harmless, just a more assertive and theatrical version of the "Princess" aspect. Based on the epilogue, we are to believe that there are no plans of reuniting them with the Princess, of returning to its rightful place that which has been collected for a millenium awaiting her return.

It's not a tragic ending, and on the surface of it is even a mostly good ending for everyone still alive. But it feels very bittersweet to me, if not just outright bitter, with the erasure of history and the apparent abandonment of even the idea of reuniting the Company, in its entirety, with its rightful Princess.

Actually unironically almost reminds me of the feeling of finishing TMA, except there it was intentional and here it is not and is possibly to a large degree my own fault for having erroneous expectations. To me, in some ways it's even more bitter than TMA's ending - there at least nothing was truly lost, other than the opportunity for vengeance.

Also on another note, after reading the end I still think the first appearance of NMM was indeed a projected fragment of the real one, whatever the Spirit afterwards might be. Her saying she's unable to take it all in too quickly perfectly matches with the idea that Luna would be unable to safely take in the pike-staff's magic, either. Whereas the Spirit immediately starts walking around the Company and its dreams and by all appearances emanating from the pike-staff itself, which doesn't really match the idea of being "unable to take in" or even touch the staff.

>>43045422
You ever think Twilight Velvet and Night Light are embarrassed? One kid is a chubby autistic, one kid is a rape victim, and one kid is Spike.

>>43044659
Do Celestia's teats secrete Marecoin or something?

>>43045627
Ambrosia, I assume. It would explain Twilight and Sunset's high level of power.

>>43044716
If she was real

>>43045612
one kid is the captain of the royal guard who ended up marrying an alicorn princess and became the father of the first ever natural born alicorn. the other is princess celestia's personal pupil who became an alicorn princess in her own right and has helped save equestria on many occasions. they have reason to be the proudest parents in equestria.

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>>43045698
That is true, but no matter how many other characters are in a Spike episode, it's still a Spike episode.

>>43046024
>One of the worst part about this fic is that it implies that celestia is deriving all of her knowledge of caring for a foal from a single book she just bought.
Which is especially funny because the first chapter established she has effectively raised other kids in the past.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/577274/8/first-steps-again/8-new-homes

One of the worst parts about this fic is that it implies that celestia is deriving all of her knowledge of caring for a foal from a single book she just bought.
in other fics she would have been written to have been getting it by cross referencing her entire lifetime of accumulated knowledge about the subject with a synthesized collection of all of the best contemporary information in combination with her high iq common sense, alicorn supercharged motherly intuition, and the advice and aid of her exceptional friends and family.
It is a good example of the continual degradation of the fandoms ability to reasonably interpolate how to construct a story from pre-existing external data. Whether that be real life or the show or the accumulated fandom knowledge.
The serpent constricts inwards as it swallows more of its own tail.

>>43046053
To be fair the book is titled So You're A Victim Of Isekai: Everything You Need To Know About Wiping The Ass Of A Twenty Year Old Man

Nothing brings us together like shitting on a bad fic.

>>43046239
A dream. A dream to run where the brave dare not go.

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>>43046254
Repost

>>43046278
>fic published in 2011
>2015 prologue
>2025 chapter 1
>"Rewrite coming soon."
>description still written in poor English

>>43046330
AI has no chance of recreating this amount of sovl.

>>43046330
This level of based shouldn't even be possible

>>43043907
Twilight trips and fully inserts her horn into dash.

>>43046852
Again?

>>43047049
Dash is very penetrable.

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I updated the fic list. Sorry for not doing it for a while. If this happens again I’ll see if anyone else is willing to do it.
And the number is off, subjunctive is 161 not 167.

Has anyone else ever looked through their read later bookshelf and wondered “why the fuck did i ever put some of these in here?”

>>43047203
I don't put things in my bookshelf

>>43047133
>That evening, as Twilight and Rainbow Dash were walking home after a party at Pinkie Pie's house, Twilight tripped over a stone. "Oh!" she cried as she stumbled. She tried to catch herself but lost her balance and crashed head-first into Rainbow Dash.
>Rainbow Dash screamed as Twilight's horn plunged into her flank. It speared her just below the ribcage, and as Twilight fell, her weight drove her horn forehead-deep into Rainbow Dash and knocked her over.
>Suddenly Twilight Velvet and Night Light jumped out of a dark alley. Twilight Velvet screamed, "You disgusting dyke!"
>Twilight, dazed, removed her horn from Rainbow Dash's side. Fountains of blood gushed from the hole. Rainbow Dash tried to cover the hole with her hoof. "I'm bleeding out!" she shrieked.
>Twilight Velvet yelled, "It serves you right! Any mare who gets stabbed by another mare's horn is sick!"
>"Help!" whined Rainbow Dash, who was on the verge of passing out.
>"Yeah, I'll help you," muttered Night Light. "I'll rape the gay out of you!" Night Light thrust his throbbing erection into Rainbow Dash's bleeding hole. "After this, you won't ever corrupt another mare ever again!"
>Twilight wiped the blood from her horn and said, "Mom? Dad? What's going on?"
>The blood spurting from Rainbow Dash's wound lubricated Night Light's cock and helped him jam it ever deeper into Rainbow Dash's organs. "Don't worry, Twilight. After I take care of her, we'll take you to a bar, get you drunk, and make you fuck a dozen stallions. You'll be just like every other mare."
>"Please," whispered Rainbow Dash as the light went out of her eyes.
>Twilight said, "Dash? Dashie? Dashie!" She screamed. Rounding on her father, face covered in blood and tears, she yelled, "What the fuck did you just do!"
>Twilight Velvet turned up her muzzle and said, "Your father fixed her. She's better off now."
>"How could you say that? She's dead!"
>"Of course she is. But at least she's not a lesbian anymore."

>>43047177
You missed the first week of Jinglemas fics. That's why the count is off.

>write self indulgent slop
>realize i'm going to have this kind of scene in another fic
>can't decide if I'm fine just being the guy writing this kind of slop or not

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>>43043363
This is my personal equivalent of a writer translating Applejack's accent to its fullest

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>>43047347
No I didn’t. It’s cause some op fucked it up and skipped ahead by seven.

>>43047542
>writing something
>realize I've got the opportunity to use an idea I've been reserving for another story
>now I get to write it twice and emphasize or explore different parts of it in each

>>43047593
We had a slow thread those weeks.
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/42927705/#42952566
You're missing:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/585979/rise-up-out-of-the-trenches
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/490710/an-old-tradition
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/586167/spitting-contest
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/585358/when-father-made-the-snow
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/586119/masquerade
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/586264/sweet-antidotes

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>>43047603
God fucking dammit
Alright it’s fixed

currently writing the most retarded fic I've ever put to pen

>>43047615
Nuh uh, I'm doing that! It's semi-humanized too so I automatically win.

>>43047626
>spoiler
Which half?

>>43047637
The left one.

>>43047626
What's the difference between semi-humanized and anthro?

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>>43047644
When the author forgets to convert words like arm, hand and hair.

>>43047644
Humans with wings and magic versus hooves-art

>>43045494
This is purely my headcanon, but I imagine Luna might want to go meet them at some point, or else they might want to send a few of their people as ambassadors now that she's finally back. IIRC Tambelon and Equestria are basically right next door now due to the opening of the new route. I forget what the specific rules are for keeping the pikestaff from blowing everything up, but apparently it's okay to send the Cakes over.

>But Feufollet says she will probably never meet Luna
Did they know, at the time, that NMM's banishment was ending in only 10 years or so?

Nobody ever wants to suckle Luna...

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>>43044066
>Foil's angry monologue being completely in subjunctive is the cherry on top.
That's a great observation, I didn't notice it. And, reading it again, I like that it makes the made-up changeling language seem more possible. Since it's only ever described to contrast it from Equuish thematically, I never imagined it could be real, not in the way a conlang might be created with some thought to its actual use. But the idea of asking a lot of what-if questions with really obvious answers does technically seem like a way to talk, since the only main issue with it is that it's rude.

>I'm still not sure if Foil actually died
This pissed me off a lot, before the story gave me much worse things to be pissed off about. Yes, he died, but only because Errenax unfoundedly says he died in the next chapter and you have to read the rest of the story to see he never thinks about him afterwards. I think you can, in retrospect, assume it was from smoke inhalation, which means the rest of them died, too. Not that any of that particularly makes sense, either.

>>43047683
Statistically every foal that's ever suckled Luna has died.

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>>43045494
It's bittersweet, strongly enough to still make me choke up thinking about how Feufollet must have felt writing that letter, how Carrot Cake must have felt carrying it, and how Luna must've felt reading it.
I did also think that they would end up in Equestria at the end, and I got the same sinking feeling when I saw the progress and that they weren't going to make it by the end of the fic. Even so, it was an incredible ending and I absolutely believe it would've been worse if they found some magicbabble way to subvert the establishment of the overcharged pike-staff. In a way, it's also a metaphor for how the Company itself is incompatible with Equestria. That they couldn't deliver the the pike-staff is another way of saying they couldn't deliver themselves. Luna has no need of the Black Company as it exists at the end of the story in Equestria, integrating them would have been a different kind of betrayal of their legacy.

>>43030999
i am so sad nobody ever writes good gay fics anymore

>>43047743
We are just too straight. You write better when you write about the things you know.

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>out of nowhere have a desire to read a good young adult/teen Spike x CMCs story that contains some smut
>fimfic results show only either rape/non-con shit, or "Spike fucks half of the ponyvile as his personal harem" shit
damn, I guess it sucks to be me, if anybody happens to have a recommendation to share for it (or even a greentext) I would really appreciate it.

>>43047743
There were never any good gay fics faggot

>>43047673
The letter says they expect the pikestaff to be too dangerous to ever bring to Luna personally. They also say that once Luna is back and has stabilised and found herself after her return, she should send a message and they will send ambassadors yes, so they do expect the banishment to end soon. Feufollet explicitly says she has "too much of the Nightmare in her" and wouldn't go.

>>43047726
Yeah makes sense.
>integrating them would have been a different kind of betrayal of their legacy.
I somewhat disagree there, I guess it's a matter of definitions. To me, the legacy of the Black Company is to be in loyal service of the Night; before the war it meant serving the diarchy, during the war it meant fighting Celestia, after the defeat it meant wandering the Chain in the guise of mercenaries and keeping memories and traditions alive, after Dar-al-Hisan it meant clinging to the few memories and traditions that survived even if most were erased, and upon Luna's return it could mean laying down arms and coming back to worship their Princess in a peaceful and finally quiescent Equestria. Or remaining a military Company in the service of Equestria for the purposes of exploration of long-range worlds or whatever.

I also don't think it would've been a "subversion" if there was hope of reuniting the essenes of the pike-staff with its rightful mistress. They could've just said, oh when Luna returns and regains her strength, then she will be able to take it in and handle it and give all of the ponies whose lives were spent their rightful place as stars in Her mane, not some spirit or apparition but in the real Princess's one. That the story chooses to say that no, apparently that will never be possible and the staff is simply too powerful for even an alicorn to ever properly handle is really just layered on for extra tragic effect.

But, well. I agree that it's still a good ending, for what it set out to do.

ponies
and stories about them

>>43048622
Horse words if you will

>>43048633
Equestrian Epics, some may say.

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>>43048205
I prefer to think of it in terms of how they've become what they want to be. Their Spirit isn't Luna, but she is /their/ Spirit, they both created each other. To an Equestrian, their Spirit is a knockoff, but to them, she's a better fit than Luna herself. And again, they aren't that religious, so "Hey, let's worship the real Luna!" only carries weight until they see she wants them to stop being the only thing they know how to be, an organized band of killers.
ITCON also doesn't imply that they could integrate in Equestria. Carrot has all the typical veteran issues, and he isn't a generational Company soldier. They're starting to experiment with the idea of setting down, but Tambelon is a much more favorable environment for that.

>>43047542
Who cares about slop being self-indulgent. You've got people publishing RGRE. Professional writers publish big ball baby.

Forget shame, just do it wel.

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Kinda dead today.

NEW RunicTreetops!!!
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/587954/1/a-nap-on-the-grass/a-nap-on-the-grass

>>43049705
RunnyTreeSlops

>>43049705
Jewnigjeetslops

>>43049705
I like his stuff when there's not a green ape, like the one with the OC who wants to fuck evil mares.

>>43049705
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/581572/dressed-in-dappled-gold
Here, have a vastly superior fic about napping on grass.

>>43049705
>anon
Didn't even bother to finish reading the description. I flipped through his profile to see why he's even being linked here and this one was pretty good, at least: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/579274/but-can-you

>>43049770
He gets mentioned here because (1) he’s prolific and (2) he’s popular. Nobody here is either, so he makes them seethe.

>>43049759
>she/they
Disliked, deleted tab, obligatory insult for linking it

>>43049817
Here, have a different fic about grass: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/107590/

I did that thing again where I accidentally wrote "anypony" in a non-pony story.

>>43046067
On the other hand the best part about this fic was probably the discord moments. His characterization was executed fairly competently.
The author also introduced an idea about chaos magic that I thought was interesting. That the products of chaos magic can only continue to persist so long as they are chaotic relative to their context and those observing it. Mainly discord. If he stops perceiving his own creations as being chaotic, they stop existing. This being a function of both his own consciousness choice and his inherent nature.

>>43050077
I had Discord's powers be that he can do anything but he can't fully control the end result and there'll always be an unpredictable twist, whether he wants it or not.

I've been using AI to help me with translation of a couple fics from fimfic into my native language and it's ridiculous how helpful it is. Of course, overall its wording is sloppy and the prose is often unnatural-sounding, so blindly copying it would be an awful idea. But the thing is, I am not a writer, I don't know how to write stories on my own, I just do translations. So oftentimes because of the lack of writing experience my translated text is pretty stilted, overwrought with complex sentences and grammatical constructions (especially dialogues).

So during the translation process each time I realize that I am beginning to pile complex linguistic structures on top one another I stop and feed the original passage into the llm. Most of the times it comes up with a better and more natural sounding passage or phrase. The quality of the finished story is better compared to the things I had translated before Ai sloppa came around. It's still a far cry of just clicking a button and getting a professional level translation since I still do most of the work, but it really helps.

>>43050215
I got access to a beta LLM that's supposed to be for writing novels and asked it for Twipie. It made Pinkie a total fucking asshole to her.

>>43050216
I am not talking about writing stories though. I am talking about translating a finished story into another language.

>>43050216
AI got it right.

>>43050215
Translating into your native language shouldn't need an llm anon, just wing it with whatever feels natural and don't skimp on the turns of phrase
When it comes to translating INTO English, that's when you really need outside help to stop yourself from making the original author look like a giga-sperg

>>43050293
No, you don't understand. Just "winging it" would result in characters talking like living automations and descriptions sounding like a technical report. Usually I'd do a separate editing round after finishing the raw translation focused entirely on rewriting unnaturally sounding paragraphs, but the sloppa machine helps me do it much better. A better synonym here, a more apt phrase here. It improves the story a lot, and provides for a better experience for the reader.

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2.51 MB PNG

>>43050293
>just draw the rest of the owl

>>43050216
ew
anal

>>43050324
Pinkie can't risk having more foals.

I read a fic that was sci-fi where Scootaloo was genetically engineered and grown in a lab to be a sex slave, as was Rainbow Dash.

>>43050340
was it just a smut thing, or a case of weird grimdark sci-fi worldbuilding?

>>43050361
I think these things are not mutually exclusive

>>43050301
>characters talking like living automations and descriptions sounding like a technical report
That's like 90% of fics.

>>43050361
I'd read a thing about sex slave Dash trying to protect sex slave Scootaloo.

>>43050340
may i see it?

>>43050397
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/531822/fusion