What am I looking at here? Is it the shitty yard, piss poor mulching or the sad looking flowers?

>>2727906
Yes

compost food scraps

ur yard will improve

>>2728113
This. Your soil looks high in clay so you should amend it with biochar as well. If you can't find "charged" biochar then crush lump charcoal and add it you your compost at 5-20% by volume.

>>2728115
Would wood/leaf ash work? I've got tons of that

>>2728294
Ash is mostly salts so it's better if you add the ash to your compost rather than applying it directly. There's a good amount of phosphorus in ash so it's worth doing, but your soil needs organic matter and something to improve the soil texture. Biochar or sand is what you'll need for that and I'd recommend the biochar over the sand because it's better at holding water and nutrients while still opening the structure of your soil to allow water to penetrate. You can also use wood ash to salt your driveway in the winter, but it tracks in really easily.

>>2728387
Any organic material will help lossen clay soils. Biochar is great for water retention and microbe habit, but any compost, manure, wood chip/mulch, ect, will make the top soil much easier to work and your plants happier.
To use sand to loosen clay you have to hit over 50% sand. Not only is it potentially ungodly expensive but sand offers very little in nutrients, water retention, and the sand will eventually migrate/wash out and your sticky clay will return.
It's better to aim for 15-25% organics in your soil of any kind.