how do you avoid these fucking monstrosities
>>2746006what do you mean? he's a cute pokemon
by ... erhm, how do i say this nicely... not living in wrong side of the ocean?
>>2746006I like how alligator snapping turtles are calm and polite despite being giant dinosaurs that can take your hand off with their bolt cutter jaws while common snapping turtles are absolute psychos while only being capable of relatively minor bites
>>2746006Leave the turtles alone.
he cute
>>2748161Who need they frogussy ate
Skinny dipping in the South is man's most risky game
>>2746006mmm fried snapper
>>2748163Just keep the worm tucked.
>>2748163CLEETUS THAT DAMN TURTLE BIT MY DICK OFF
>>2746020Fag thinking he’s edgy and never been outside in his life meanwhile this dinosaur is sauntering through my yard.
>>2746006I just stay out of murky water.
>>2746006>common snapping turtle >commonHow do I find an alligator snapping turtle in the wild? I think they're really neat and I really want to see one in nature. I've seen several of the common snappers in the wild but I want to see one of the big alligator snapping turtles. How do I do this?
>>2748354They're just deeper in the south the common ones get further north
>>2748355But I've been to some deep south swamps. How/where do I find the alligator ones in their natural environment?
>>2748358look harder fuck you for being so stupid eat shit god damn stop using my oxygen
>>2748354>>2748358They rarely come onto land so they’re not often encountered. You’d have to search pretty hard
>>2748358Their main hunting method is sitting under the water for hours waiting for something to come near them. You'd have to physically look for them, as you're unlikely to just stumble upon one.
>>2748354Put your dick in the water and wiggle it about….trust me.
>>2746006I found one of these in my creek and I didn't want it fucking my dog up so I just put it in a bucket and dumped it in a local stream. Not my problem
>>2748354You need to find a park in the south with a lake and a bridge. Bring or buy food pellets to offer to the turtles at the turtle bridge. Worked for me on multiple occasions.
>>2746006I like how nature just naturally came up with a chaos space marine equivalent to a normal turtle with a bunch of spikes and aggressive body designs that seem to be otherwise impractical besides looking cool.
They eat fish, they're super chill and gentle in the water. They'll just swim away from you if you approach. I've handled snappers many times and they've only tried to snap me if I take them out of the water
>>2746006Buy a turtle licence and eat them
>>2749446It's in the name 'Alligator' it's self defense from be fuck off Alligators. Its spikes also look like an alligators back when sitting out of the water which would make other predators not want to fuck with it. It might live in a gentrified swamp nowadays but when it evolved it lived in a land of short faced bears and giant beavers.
>>2746006This fucker walked by me while fishing. Big as a couch cushion.
>>2746006Dive head first into murky, shadowy parts of creeks and lakes. These turtles are cool as hell.
>>2748354look for a stream/wash that only flows after a rain and they'll be using it as a highwaygo in springtime and you'll get a bunch of babies
>>2746006Truly dinosaurs amongus.
>>2746006I pulled over a couple weeks ago to help one cross the road and a nigger bitch in an Altima ran it over as I was walking up. It literally took a deep gasp and died in my arms. Was pretty sad desu
They are being reintroduced to certain areas. And and same thing the OP in that other thread was saying about grizzlies goes for them.
>>2746006
>>2751524I wish I didn't read this, heartbreaking.I'm in Florida, we have really cool gopher turtles everywhere, and retards somehow manage to run them over in neighborhoods.How the fuck do you run a big ass turtle over in a neighborhood?Pisses me off.
>>2754574Brown people are insanely selfish, they will regularly sacrifice all spatial awareness to "be vibing" while doing something that DEFINITELY requires spatial awareness
>>2748354Alligator snappers only live in water that's connected to the Gulf of Mexico
>>2754818extremely wrong do you also think such dumb things about actual alligators also I've taken a kayak from Iowa to the Gulf
>>2754846Fuck off retard
>>2746006this is a dumbass thread>"what's that?">"oh shit a snapping turtle? guess ill just walk around it then or move it away with my walking stick">the autisitic trannys on this board>"OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S AN FUCKUNG SATANIC MONSTER">injects estrogen>"/OUT/ WHAT DO I DO???">the turtle is literally moving toward you at less than 1mph
>>2754939They extend far beyond this map, Kentucky for example has the most navigable waterways in the entire continental united states. You WILL find them in Ohio/West Virginia.Also what a dumb map>Just stop going up the Ohio river, for no reason at alllol, lmao Also your mom is a whore. A fat ugly one.
>>2755010I think you're mixing up the common snapper with the alligator snapper. The common snapper gets quite large and is found even in Canada
>>2748354they might look more menacing but common snappers are more aggressive and have longer necks to fuck your shit up>>2754939They are in plenty of small ponds across the southeast
>>2746006People are real weird. We got an adventurous guy here where live who stook his pecker in the mouth of one these creatures. The thing bite it clean off. Now he's half man lol
>>2754939...this all used to be beaver ponds :(
>>2755103They are highly distinct species you could spot the difference from a football field, your mom is a a fat ugly whore.
>>2754939I've seen a few roaming about in northwestern Missouri, that map is not complete
>>2755628 funny detail>Population in the middle of IndianaLol, lmao
>>2746006I saw one crossing the road as I was driving to the venue on the day of my wedding last year. I stopped the car, got out, and nudged him off the road with my foot. He was a big bastard. I think that's the only time I've ever seen one.
Caught this little guy not too long ago. Not sure if he's a snapping turtle but he sure had a bite when I was unhooking him. He's kinda cute actually
>>2756280>That devil nose>That hooked mouth>Those abhorrent clawsYeah, that's a snapping turtle.
>>2756280Musk turtle
>>2757305this>>2757267be ashamed of yourself
>>2757324>be ashamed of yourselfthis is the same board that takes an entire screen and a ton of technology into the woods and claims to """"be getting away from it all""""dont expect most of the people on this board to actually know /out/ related things
>>2751302Babey tortles ;_;
>>2751524>>2754574happier endingrecently i saw a woman trying to move the biggest alligator snapping turtle i have ever seen on my way home from work. It was crawling across a semi busy two lane road. I parked behind her car and offered to help her move it back to its little pond area. She showed me how to pick it up by the front and back of its shell because i had never messed with one of these guys before. i grabbed it and this motherfucker must have weighed 200+ pounds. I work construction and i had to put it down once while carrying it back to its pond area. Once it was done me and the girl talked for a sec and exchanged numbers. we are gonna get coffee tomorrow. i will fight anybody who fucks with these ugly pieces of shit because that fat dinosaur got me a date.
>>2754939ive found these cute guys in ponds in central texas.
>>2758415That is fuckin awesome
>>2758415wingman... shellman
>>2746006I've spent more time than I can count wading around in ponds, sinkholes, creeks and swamps right there in there range, and I've stepped on mocassins and alligators and seen water snakes, snapping turtles, and soft shell turtles but I have never seen a single Alligator Snapping Turtle.
>>2758519Their*
Had to push this guy along with a piece of foam I keep in my truck for this purpose. Their neck extension is so much further than I thought.
