>notices youhow do you respond without sounding scared?
>>2786098I would most likely fecalate into my pants and hope he can't smell the pistachios in the steam
>>2786098>raises hands Nothing personnel bearoOh yeah and you won't respond to this
>>2786098I would rapidly approach the bear in a threatening manner
>>2786098Crash my pocket DO X into it at full ramming speed
>>2786108Black bear will leave. Brown bear will kill you.
>>2786115black burr are unpredictable, I wouldn't risque it
Light the seal bomb suicide vest and jump at him
>>2786098I would simply punch him in the face
>>2786098back away while yelling WHOA BEAR WHOA BEAR WHOA BEAR WHOA BEAR like a redditorget my scalp peeled off because I could have shot it in the face instead but I didn't because I'm a faggot ass pussy
>>2786132I would hate to have a bear at my skin off of me :[
>>2786133For some reason bears REALLY like to rip people's scalps off. Every documentary or article I've ever watched/read about people being mauled by bears mentions something about their scalp being torn off.
>>2786134I guess they like to bite the head and their teeth just skate around on the skull.also this unrelated but in all the accounts of people being dug up who were found to have been buried alive they have the usual injuries, bloody hands, broken nails and fingers trying to desperately claw out in the dark, but alarmingly they also all seem to have torn their own hair out as well. Just think about that awhile.
That is one fat bear, OP. I'd keep on going. If the time has come for me to donate my body to nature, so be it.
Would this work to let the wild beasts know I'm nearby?
>>2786132Do you know how thick bear skulls are? Go look up some historic accounts of people trying to kill bears with a rifle.
>>2786098Grab my 45-70 blast off a shot. Tell him don’t @ me you son of a bitch.
>>2786116This is retarded
>>2786116Imagine unironically posting this. JFC
>>2786167https://www.ammoland.com/2024/05/bear-defense-with-handguns-update-20-more-cases-98-effective/even handguns are pretty effective against bears
>>2786154people say this but never take into account the fact that they'd spend several minutes up to potentially hours in agony and terroras if it's "just get killed by a bear"no, it's "get slowly mauled and eaten alive by a bear".
>>2786175>>2786177This is why I did not turn Rangerball™ into a full series, it was universally reviled and rightfully so.
>>2786207Grizzlies rarely consume the humans they kill. They attack you until they think you are no longer a threat and then fuck off.
>>2786206>even handgunsHandguns are preferred to a rifle for better defense. You are quicker to the shot. Most dangerous encounters are surprise with short reaction times.
>>2786098https://files.catbox.moe/seaoas.mp4
>>2786261>for better defenseFor bear defense I meant…
>>2786098a flamethrower is absolutely guaranteed to work
>>2786175>>2786177its... right though...
>>2786098>pop a cap in his ass>take the head with me >leave the rest to the forest janny to clean up
Walk back and into a semi circle to get around it while maintaining eye contact.Bears don't want to fight random animals, they want to eat. If it hadn't already charged you, it's probably just confused of what the fuck you are.
>>2786265my wife
My greatest fear is that when hiking with someone I’ll just start yelling the gamer word at a black bear to haze it.
>>2786716Hike with someone who will yell the gamer word with you.
Hey, Bear.
HEY BEAR
>>2786716>>2786725Hike together friendsThe more guns firing the betterhttps://youtube.com/clip/UgkxY-MNZH7x_TeCAexICIhKV17UbG1d2Lo7?si=olLgkNL4rWaizWGY
>>2786098I'd become extremely racist, in a loud verbal fashion. There's no way that thing is getting out of there without being called the N word at least 3 times.
>>2786260So you get retardified by the grizzly, and then gang-raped to death by the brown bears who come looking for slopping seconds. I see how this works.
>>2786848It would rip your tongue out through your asshole and I would laugh.
>>2786098i show him my uwukawaii anime figurine collection and my estradiol vials
>>2786098i take my .44 magnum out of my prison wallet and begin shooting
>>2786915Dumb. >>2786098.357 lever action 12+1 NIGGAAAA
pic rel.
>>2786168Oh clutchhh
>>2786134I heard bears like to make soap and lamps from the people they kill. I heard bears like to torture hikers by forcibly masturbating them.
>>2786098I pull the pin on my self defense fragmentation grenade and throw it towards the bear.
>>2786116KEK!
>>2786747>>2786792>>2787791Have you goobers ever seen an example of this working?
>>2788900I've talked at several black bears over the years, probably even called one or two a goober to his face.
https://youtu.be/VpwpnFWWudo
>>2788926Unexpectedly based reply. I need to download their discography one of these days.
>>2788967https://rutracker.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5127290
>>2786116>killed Norway tooIt had to be done.
