>start going to church so I can actually socialize >after attending for about 3 months straight, miss a day because a hiking trip went a little too long on Saturday and I didn't feel like going to church on 2 hours of sleep>next week church granny checks in on me>asks if I'm alright, if I need any help, if there was some emergency last Sunday, etc.>tell her no, I just hiked a little too long>gives some churchy reply like "well we can't have you missing worship left and right just because of some trees">pull a churchy response straight out of my ass and say something along the lines of "I think it's better to praise the Lord while among his creations, not while locked away from them in a building">she steps back in dramatized shock and goes deep into thought>sermon starts and pastor goes into his topic for the week>at the end of the sermon pastor asks if anyone has anything they'd like to add>church granny springs up and tells everyone what I told her, but dramatizes it obviously>finishes it by telling the pastor she thinks the church should do a monthly hike>pastor acts like the holy spirit gave him a handjob and shouts about how fucking amazing of an idea that is>puts me in charge of the hiking trips>choose flat, short trails because old people>can hardly walk 10 feet without hearing camera shutters or "hallelujah", "lordy lordy" "praise God", "thank you God", or something else like that
>>2802209are there ackthually any marriageable young women (slim, white, pretty) at church?
>>2802211None that are unmarried, at least at my church
>>2802209thats cool and probly really good for the old folks anon
>>2802209>anon is surrounded by people who worry about him when he's absent>and are also open-minded enough to reevaluate their own opinions when convinced>and are willing to share his hobbies>and recognize him as valuable for his skills so put him in chargeAll this and yet, anon still acts like a miserable asshole. Learn to be grateful, those people are better friends than you deserve.
>>2802209Does anybody under 50 even go to church now?I used to go back when I was kid because everyone’s grandparents sorta insisted, so every kid I knew in the neighborhood was there, did communion together, went to the same catholic kindergarten Kinda like a thing you had to doBut nowadays I don’t think I know anybody my age who goes to church still, unless it’s like a baptism or something
>>2802268He's surrounded by mindless geriatric cultistsI wouldn't be happy about that either
>>2802283Ew what the fuck
>>2802268I'm not acting miserable, I'm just telling it like it is while trying to keep the story interesting. In reality, I enjoy the process of checking out trails the weekend before so I make sure it's easy enough for the rest of the group. We even have a much older lady that decided to go to physical therapy so she can go on hikes with us, there's a waterfall trail not too far away that's paved so I want to take her there first. I actually enjoy having a community to belong to, even if I don't feel like I'm "one of them"
>>2802209I ran a backpacking MeefUp group with around 120 members. Hiking with a group of inexperienced people is unique. You have to keep an open mind and enjoy the company for who they are.
>>2802209A lot of things have never happened and this is one of them.
>>2802619One of the more believable stories so far though. Better than another thread about wanting to live innawoods
>>2802316Whenever I do too many miles on Saturday afternoon and end up bagging church I go for another recovery bike ride and call it The Church of Riding My Bike.
>>2802316>We even have a much older lady that decided to go to physical therapy so she can go on hikes with us, there's a waterfall trail not too far away that's paved so I want to take her there first. I actually enjoy having a community to belong to, even if I don't feel like I'm "one of themOlder people do appreciate our help, wholesome /out/anon
>>2802268>they are all old>the young/attractive women are not at church, are hypergamous and at that moment while you are in church, are effectively in a harem with a small group of men>this is women's rights>rabbi yeshua save meWow thanks boomers, I'm so grateful
>>2802214then why are you there
>>2803905The reason why you're lonely is because you can only look at women as objects that dispense sexual pleasure
>>2803778>chasing women this hardThey just live rent free in your head, don't they? Can you even comprehend pursuing a hobby for it's own sake instead of how it makes you look to women?
>>2802209This is so funny anon kek
>>2803914Surely God does not need you to be around these people. The fact you had got guilted for skipping church is cultish behaviour.
>>2806253>old lady expresses interest in your well being>"ZOMG CULT BEHAVIOR"People will hear church and immediately assume it's the westboro baptist
>>2807159In this case it's actually a synagogue. Op is trying to become a jew. That's what was in those deleted posts up there. Genocide seems a tad worse than signs that say fag on them.
>>2802209Next tell them about this cool hiking forum you visit OP
>>2802209Based church granny. I've never felt more connected to God than when I'm innawoods.
>>2806253>he thinks the old granny was trying to guilt trip the guy instead of just being genuinely concerned for his well-being and expressing her gratitude for his companyWow is this the power of atheism? You truly are on another intellectual level.
>>2803914God,,,has put mysins to the Test,,,putting somextreme HOTTIE BABES,, fresh and ready to bewifes in my Church!,,,i have to SLAMY brain to not get pervy thoughts.,,,,SO THIN,,yet wide muscley butts,,,socute,, snapy smarts,,careing hugs.,ignore the BOOBA mashing me!,,,,its a struggle of the flesh im willing to indure.
>>2807223Go back to /r/atheism
>>2807324
>>2802211>thinking anyone attractive under the age of 30 goes to church>thinking the qt3.14 trad church waifu is realWew lad
