Not only are they bad for productivity, they are bad for your anus. If you can't poop after 10 minutes, just get up. You will poop when your body is readyhttps://www.cnn.com/2024/11/12/health/phones-on-toilet-wellness/index.html
>>488270108This is BIG BOSS propaganda... they don't want us pooping at work bros.We gotta stand up for our rights to shit for 45 minutes while we shit post.
nobody:doctors:>stop learning the JQ in the morning shit REEE
>>488270108Use witch hazel wipes or sprinkle a little on your tp for the last run through, problem solved.
>>488270108street shit like a pro
>>488270108Fuck you, I do what I want. If I want to spend an hour taking a shit then I will.
>>488270108it's gonna take me the same amount of time to shit with or without the phone
how am I to shitpost without adequate time?
>>488270108That is where I play video games though.
using phone while shitting is disgusting and for lowlifes it takes like 2 minutes to take a shit and wipe
>>488270108Sadly I can confirm this. I use to sit on the pot & smoke (bathroom had a fan) & read, sometimes for hours. YOU DO NOT WANT HEMOROIDS
>>488270565>2 minutes to take a shit and wipeI mean yeah, once you get going. But there's a 10 minute warm-up and a 5 minute cool-down, then a couple minutes to wash your hands and freshen up. About 20 minutes is normal all things considered
This article is for women, faggot. Women obsess and worry over health stuff. Some women don't even go outside on a 70 degree day without putting on sunscreen. Lest they get skin cancer and wrinkles.This type of fear-mongering health anxiety article is for women, faggot. Trying to share this lame garbage with us. Go fuck yourself.
>>488270108Yeah well I usually take 1 hour to shit sometimes when wiping I do it alot sometimes I see blood on it but it keeps hygienic kinda
>>488270108How is this political?
I have a pilodonial cyst
>>488270108Trying to shit for a really long time or idly shitting while you do something else is how you get hemorrhoids or prolapse yourself.If you want to waste time, do your business, clean up, put your pants on, then sit back down and just fuck with your phone.
>>488270108I never understood how people take 20 minute long shits. For me it takes less than a second it just flys right out of me.
>>488270796Enjoyed your cancer retard
>>488270411>Telling people to street shit.>Hides flag.Jeet detected.
>>488270619 Did they go away?
>>488270108Nah fuck you, I will shit at work and it will be a 30-45 minute dump, multiple a day. And at home I will hold in my shits so I can get paid to shit, on YOUR DIME.
>>488270565Nobody takes two minutes to do a shit not unless they got curry shits.
Never understood how people spend like an hour on the shitter, i just squeeze the first bit out when i wake up, then I go eat brekky and get everything ready, and take the 2nd shit before getting into the shower.
>>488270411
>>488271122try eating some fiber, nigel
>>488271122>>488270757if you werent shitposting it'd take you a minute to shit and 2 to wipe get real it's degenerate let your dopamine deepfried mind off the internet for 3 minutes jfc
>>488270244Digits I don't know what to believe. I've spent hours on the shitter for years and years. Healthy as a bull. My legs do go numb by the time im done and I have to walk all noodley bracing the wall for a minute. No hemorrhoids or nothing. This article seems jewish
>>488270108I don't even fathom the concept of taking an extended shit. I shit in like 5 minutes, tops. I don't understand how a person can spend more than that shitting. that to me is like taking multiple shits.
>>488270976Go fuck yourself, queer. Women sit around and read articles that say "Don't do X because it's bad for your health!" Because women are neurotic and have health anxiety. These types of articles aren't for men. Men eat red meat, speed in their cars, and take however long they want to shit.Take this stupid CNN article and shove it up your ass.
>>488271034I had a couple and they went away with preparation h, they might have been less serious.
>>488271122I have solid shits. I feel like I have to take a shit, then I go take a shit. I wipe my ass and I'm done. I don't understand you people.
>>48827010810 minutes is reasonable. Imma still bring my phone tho.
>>488270108>leave your device behind.I'll just end up reading shampoo bottles for 20 minutes.
>>488271034Apparently I have some massive ones after 20+ years of shitting with a Gameboy/phone. Don't really hurt as long as I eat enough fiber for the shit to not be sticky.
>>488270108Oh neat, yet another thing that isn't the experimental gene therapy that magically now causes major health problems.
>>488271462what is the consistency of your shit that you need to take 20 minutes? For me I just feel like i gotta take a shit, and so shit. maybe you need to change your diet or something.
I am pooping at work. It is going to take me 10-15 minutes every time. If you try and correct me nothing will happen. You WILL pay me for the opportunity.
>>488270411I wish my dick did that.
Ever since I started eating healthier I've started shitting once every three days or so and it's fucking annoying. I used to shit consistently daily. I used to be able to easily sync my shitting to my shower so I can easily wash my ass out after pooping. Instead of waiting 3 days for my natural shit to come in I usually just sit on the toilet and push for a few minutes everyday to try and force a little bit out. I wonder how unhealthy this is? I have to push with all my might sometimes. Kinda worried about getting prolapse from this.
>>488270885Because politics is shit.
Imagine not using a laptop computer while dropping a deuce. Phones are for fags.
>>488270411>>488271605A factory-installed piss bidet.
>>488270411>moo deng fanning shit and piss on demsnice
>>488271290 Glad to hear that Burgerbro. Pic unrel.
>>488271605Cum in you anus?
This is how I do itI feel like shitting and so I go to the toiletI sit on the toilet and push and it comes out in 10 secondsIf it doesn't then I get up and wait for when I feel like shitting again
>>488271487 Gameboy in the lavatory. That is next level.
>>488271290did you sqeeze the paste from the tube on your finger and rub it on the outside of your asshole for a couple days or what
>>488270892You might also have lysdexia - pilonidal
>>488271605>>488271783Piss IS sterile after all... I know but I think I'll stick with water and soap.
>>488270108>If you can't poop after 10 minutesWhat the FUCK? I thought if I didn't fire a log out in 10 seconds it was an extended shit. 1 minute and I'm bored.
>>488270108>You will poop when your body is readyyeah but I don't want my body to suddenly decide it's ready while I'm at my desk
>>488270108>bad for your anusWhy don't doctors ever say that sodomy is bad for your anus? Fear of being labelled homophobic?
>>488270565I shit for two minutes and then wipe for forty minutes. I swear it's like wiping a sharpie wtf. Then i have to re-wipe thirty minutes later. No bullshit!
>>488272175Same. But I squat on my toilet, not sit. More of a natural position. Gotta be careful though, if you're fat, you can break the toilet
>>488272222Based number 2er
>>488272222Get a bidet nozzle. Wipe, wash, pat dry. Very simple.>>488272323Just shit on the bathroom floor and put it in the toilet afterwards, jeetbro
>>488272108it's one of those thing where I never read the full word just glanced at it now I keep calling it that
>>488270108i love the time i spend on the toilet. i legitimately have had most of my best ideas on the toilet, whilst letting nature take it's course. not sure why, probably something to do with relaxation and having no distractions.
I shit within 30 seconds of sitting down.
>>488272222Get some rinse free wash cloths, wash your ass till clean.
>>488271611Yeah diet changes are fucking annoying like that. Stopped getting drunk everyday and now I shit 2-3 times a week
>>488272527This. I will never understand people who see taking a shit as a great opportunity to read or watch videos or whatever the fuck they do in there. Theres something wrong with that.
>>488270108Good thing if all you eat is goyslop, you can be up and down in less than 5 minutes easily. Also if you're a South Asian subhuman imported for cheap labor.
now they tell me
>>488270108Thank you saar I will not poo in the loo
>>488270411powerwashing the bowl
>>488272175Sluggish guts are a thing. Not everyone is loose as a goose. One wonders how many quick shitters are also coffee drinkers, and how many toilet sluggards abstain from the brew.
>>488272910if it doesn't come out with a cup of coffee and a cigarette then it isn't coming out.
>>488272222no lie I think the ozempic fixed this for me (I think I have dumping syndrome, sugar gets too far down the digestive system and wreaks havoc)
>>488272222Checked quads of sharting in the mart, eat some fucking fiber and/or use the shower head for god's sake, my countrymen don't do that because they associate it with Muslims and then they complain how 60c is not enough to wash skidmarks out of their underwear. Though trying 95c blew up my last washing machine's electronics.>>488272432>Get a bidet nozzleI don't want cold water on my ass though.
>>488270108YOU VILL PÜP VEN VE TELL YOU TO PÜP!
>>488270108Idiotic conclusion. People that sit on the toilet longer tend to be less healthy overall, but it wasn't them sitting on the toilet that made them less healthy.
>>488273305This isn't even about general health, it is about the integrity of your anus. They're not saying red meat might cause cancer, they're saying stop taking long shits they are bad for your anus
This kind of shit is why I will never understand fags and degenerate women that do anal. Your butt is so delicate and prone to you eventually needing to wear diapers so you don't shit yourself all the time and they voluntarily speed up the process.
>>488273662they also said take the vaxxx
Lack of fiber is literally the entire problem to this. Most health issues that my fellow amerilards face is not having a variety of greens. If there limp wristed then a steak with butter and eggs with there meals will fix that low T problem. This is what my daily 1 meal a day looks like
>>488270108I'm healthy but on some days it takes 30 minutes to wait for my shit to move down from some crevice in my colon to my anus. I know because i was watching the clock.The problem is it's not a large dump but small chunks left behind Today I took three different shits but all within 10 minutes
>>488270108My dumps take less than 60 seconds. Some less than 30. Git gud
>>488270108>they are bad for your anusIt's good advice. I found out the hard way. Hemorrhoids suck.
>>488270108I piss in the sink because it's quicker. Sheckleburg loves how fast I shit and piss.
>>488270458>i wantKeep telling yourself that.
>>488273943Talking about low T and limp wrists while posting tranime weeb faggot pictures, rather ironic don't you think bucko?
>>488270244Do they think 5-10 extra minutes a day mean much? Ok ok I get that they think (10/60)*500 is like 83 hours of labor. But shitter time is natural, humans work less efficiently if they are uncomfortable. It's why everything in life is becoming shitty. Nobody is patient.
>>488270108>don't steal the companies time and money goy>now sit back in your cubicle for the rest of your 8hr shiftMy gp googled my symptoms in front of me once, scratching his chin diagnosing me with the help of ask reddit>that'll be $99 thanks
>>488274543Sure faggot anime is hecking gay. Anime website go street shit somewhere else
>>488271213You have curry shit. It explodes out of asshole painting toilet. This is why you did a two minute shit. Diarrhea. Say it.
>>488270108if i actually have to shit, its gonna start coming out before i get anything pulled up on the phone...people are straight GOONING in there if they bring a phone
>>488272222based trips of truthand that 30 minute later wipe is like a brand new fresh shit wipekek
>>488274598You will be less comfortable with hemorrhoids
>>488274626Based GP btfoing himself out of a job.
>>488274598>But shitter time is naturalNothing about the modern day shitting experience is natural bud. Yes it's comfortable, but humans evolved to shit squatting, and for that body to be in that position.
>>488271213No. Diarrhea. Shitting takes time not two minutes.
>>488274948>Hemorrhoids (HEM-uh-roids), also called piles, are swollen veins in the anus and lower rectum. Hemorrhoids are similar to varicose veins. Hemorrhoids can develop inside the rectum, called internal hemorrhoids. They also can develop under the skin around the anus, called external hemorrhoids.Luxury injury from being fat and sitting at a desk, if I get this instead of lose a foot I'm winning in life. I'll make sure to take a long shit or two just for you. I'm normally less than 120 seconds.
>>488274936>quads CHECK THEM
>>488270108What did 4chin mean by this!?
>>488273943I just use it as an excuse to take an extra break. Would take one bullheaded boss to break into my stall for taking too long
>>488275282Brappers are over the target and winning.
>>488275282Why does 4chan only advertise the most mid OF whores?
>>488275282>getting ads in 2024
>>488271605You could just aim it backwards. You have hands
Takes me about 15-20 minutes to shit. I usually play super nintendo while shitting. I've beat just about every snes game there is while shitting over the last decade.
>>488275527Gotta support nip moot somehow.
>>488275390Clearly I am delusional I have yet to work on a job that included scheduled or unscheduled breaks, or lunch. However the benefit is we do not track that shit if we do it since its all informal, and we only work 8 hours instead of the 9ish if you include breaks and lunch. which is much nicer.
>>488271232fiber is a meme. You can eat all fiber every day and still be constipated. It is just as stupid nonsense as safe and effective covid vax
>>488270108Imagine falling for the sitting psyop
>>488270108My mom would bitch why are you in the bathroom so long. I told her once my asshole wasn't as loose as hers and she shut up. That was like the 3rd time I ever swore at my mom. She's a big piece of shit
>>488275721
>>488272222Fiber. 1 spoon of orange metamucil in like 8 oz of water takes 2 seconds to chug it down and your soft-serve mudbutt shits will go away.
>>488275578If you are on apple shit install ad guard, it works on safari by default. If you are on android then you should probably switch to iphone because google is an advertisement company and android is made by google. If you are using chrome or any chrome based browser then you should probably kys.
>>48827146220 minutes? You are like a little child. I can watch a 90 minute film before I'm finished
>>488272222Use a shower head down there, it will change your life
Is there anything more powerful then taking your shirt off when you take a nice shit.
>>488270411only a jew would have this saved on his computer
>>488275721No lie shitting like this cured my anal fissures when I was a kid.
>>488270108>not taking 15 minutes to catch your breath before wiping
>>488275909>my anal fissures when I was a kid.Uncle touchy?
>>488275807Based. I haven't seen online ads in years.
>>488270619tf are you taking shits for hours for, go when you're turtle heading and it flies right out
>>488270108I literally go into toilet, lower the seat ring, exhale and withing 10 seconds I'm pooping, afterwards I use one or two pieces of paper to confirm that yet again the shit that exited my body did it flawlessly and didn't leave a mark on my ass, literally as white as they are sold after wiping my ass, that's how healthy gut system works, I never ever eat goyslop, I've visitied mcgoynalds only once in my lifetime and that was as a young kid, it was shit
>>488271258Intentionally pooping too forcefully/quickly causes hemorrhoids.Unless you have super clean shits, then it easily takes more than 10 minutes.The American diet does not allow for this, so you we easily take 30 minutes shitting out the poison in explosive diarrhea.
>>488275899Hitler was democratically ellected
I'm pooping as long as I want. Currently 30mins in.No one can stop me
Don't worry bros, jew employers have come up with a solution.
>>488270108it takes me less than a minute to use the restroom. these motherfuckers straining and gripping the wall need to eat more vegetables and fruit. not hard, bitch.
>>488271262you're right it's jewish and anti-white man to boot. nobody would ever call out women on taking forever in the bathroom at work because of course they need to unspool the effluvial vagina gore which belches erratically out of their cursed Gene Shalit twat and makes dogs from three blocks away scratch at the front door like they found the Treasure of the Sierra Period-Stink Madre.
>>488275527I can't be bothered to get AdBlock when the only place I browse online mobily on the go is 4chan and they're the only website to have reasonable advertisements. They have the banner ad, which advertises itself, the ad at the top of the page and the bottom. Realistically it's possible to never see an ad on 4chan but once if you don't scroll past the update thread button at the bottom of the screen and remain in the same active thread. I can appreciate that much about it.
>>488270108Eat shit, im gonna keep reading on the toilet.A good book and a meaty, post coffee, shit is how I start my day.
>>488276238Fucking extremely based.
>>488272107Uh yeah that's how it works
>>488276099>Intentionally pooping too forcefully/quickly causes hemorrhoids.source: FDAkill yourself
>>488270244>>488270108>Not falling asleep on the toilet to the point your ass loses circulation and then when you wake up it takes almost 30 minutes just to be able to stand between your ass being literally fused to the seat and the everything else burning hot pins and needles amd excruciating pain upon every movement
>>488270757This. 20-30 minutes is normal from the time the you enter the bathroom to shit and the time you leave the bathroom. >few minutes to settle in>5-10 minutes to actually shit and finish shitting, 10-15 if you’re really shitting>5 minutes to wipe>a minute to wash handsLess than 10 minutes sounds unsanitary.
>>488276238What if I go full German and s(h)it on it backwards?
>>488276843It doesnt take 5-10 minutes to shit and finish shitting.
>>488270108Guys, did you know not watching a movie on an airplane could kill you?
>>488270108Oy vey goyim dont be taking shits longer than 3 minutes it lowers productivity!!!
>>488271034>>488271034Yes, they go away but come back at times. Sitting on cold car seats seems to be a trigger for me.
>>488274994phoning it in after 25yrs yeah, old mate is winning kek
>>488270108I get bad hemorrhoids if I sit on the toilet too long.
>>488274543nigga you're literally lithuanian
>>488276197Based, I learned driving in this car
>>488277027If you take a decent, fulfilling shit it does.
>sitting on the toilet too long causes health problems>not sitting on the toilet long enough causes health problems>standing to pee causes health problems>sitting to pee causes health problems>thinking about whether to sit or stand to pee causes health problems>having health problems causes health problems>drinking water causes health problems>breathing causes health problems
>>488270108>bang stall door with open palm>hear a splash followed by screamingjejeje don't worry another 50 or so 30m shits and you'll be able to afford a new phone!
>>488277579Nigga no. It doesn't. The shit takes as long as it normally does and for me that is not 5 minutes. In fact on most wagie /warehouse/contact center jobs if you need to take a bathroom break you're given 6 minutes outside of your normally scheduled breaks and if you can't rush to the bathroom/shit/wash your hands in 30 seconds/get back to your desk you'll get reprimanded barring a doctor's note telling you that you're allowed long shits in a special timecode.
>>488270108>DO NOT take extended shits
>>488272222Get and use a toilet with a bidet. Makes a HUGE difference.
>>488270108Did an indian write this article?
>>488270108this is just epidemiology gone full retard.Why would you need to spend more time on the toilet? because you have health problems. Thats it.So the longer someone spends on the toilet the more likely they have health problems? Sure, does that mean trying to force yourself to not be at the toilet as much is going to make a difference? there is no logical argument to be made for that, nice try "science" though.
>>488270108oldfag reporting inlet me tell you why you shouldn't sit on the toilet for prolonged periods of timenote this only applies if you *sit* on the toiletsquat shitters are safesitting on the toilet and leaning forward to dick around on your phone creates excess pneumatic pressure in your grointhis leads to the development of varicocele in your ballsthat's a fancy medical term for blown out testicular vasculatureor "bag of worms" as it's colloquially callednow this doesn't lead to any real health problems but it severely impacts the aesthetics of your junkinstead of a firm pair of oblong spheroids dangling underneath your dick you get an amorphous asymmetric approximation of azathoth the blind idiot godif you must hide away in the bathroom to fuck around on your phone please stand while doing soyour balls will thank you
>>488270108Not a problem for me, I got turboturds.
>>488270108doctors warn>doctors warndoctors warn>doctors warndoctors warn>doctors warndoctors warn>doctors warndoctors warn>doctors warndoctors warn>doctors warndoctors warn>doctors warndoctors warn>doctors warndoctors warn>doctors warndoctors warn>doctors warndoctors warn>doctors warn
>>488270108ive never understood people who take long shits. like what teh fuck? just go to the bathroom when you need to go. a shit should take you 30 seconds max, maybe like 2 to 5 minutes if you have cramps or something
>>488270244>be lazy piece of shit>take several 30+ minute bathroom breaks per shift> get grape sized hemorrhoids>get temporary or possibly permanent disability>chill at home on your donut shaped ring cushion
>>488278729Well if you hadn't spent so much time sucking dick with your asshole maybe it would still be tight enough to understand taking a shit isn't like emptying a bucket.
>>488270108>DOCTORS WARN>EXPERTS SAY>STUDIES SHOW>RESEARCH SUGGESTSfuck you and your nigger loving nation of kike worshipers
>>488270968No shit, Sherlock. The shitting isn't the long part. The shitposting on your phone after is.
>>488270108Or we could just make toilet seats better...
>>488279099No, it actually is like that.You've got something wrong with you
>>488271557Desu since I switched to a high fiber diet my pooping takes like 2 minutes tops and then I try to wipe and...perfectly clean tp. Poop comes out as a series of medium to large solid lumps, clear that's how it's intended by nature.If you're creamshitting or worse there IS something wrong with your diet.
>>488271213Now that I'm in my late 40s, I take a little more time. It used to be that I'd sit on the pot and instantly shit everything out. Occasionally I'd end up coming back for round 2. Now I sit down and scrap instantly, but I relax for 2 or 3 minutes, maybe even stand up and move my torso around, and finish up with another turd or two
>>488270108https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zTei5RMhQ8
>>48827010810 minutes? WTF am I supposed to speedrun every shit?
>>488270619Same. Now have a religious devotion to raisin bran and not spending more than 5 minutes on the shitter.>>488271034If they're in deep with fewer nerves they slap some rubberbands on them to necrotize them and they fall off. The outer ones can hurt like hell though.
>>488271034hemorrhoids are friends for life.And pooping for more than 10 minutes at a time leads to shitting blood, eventually. Not all hemorrhoids are the itchy buds on the ring. The deeper ones inside can really wreck you.
>>488270108most of the time I finish shitting within 5 minutes of sitting on the toilet and the rest of the time I'm just browsing this shithole
>>488270565You sound like you wipe front-to-back
>>488270565it takes me 20 sometimes 30 minutes to defecate and wipe etc
>>488270108I stopped the whole sitting thing years ago after I got tired of cleaning the seat beforehand. I just stand and squat over the can. My aim is always perfect!
>>488280220
DON'T EVER FUCKING TELL ME HOW TO SHIT AGAIN I MEAN THAT THIS IS YOUR FIRST, LAST, AND ONLY WARNINGi said that to a boss giving me shit about my shit and i have never heard about it again.
>>488280406What happens when you have explosive diarrhea?
>>488272222I wipe like I drive: I only stop at red.
>>488280706When does this ever happen?
>>488270108Tell that to Elvis.
>>488272222Quads of amerishart truth
>>488280925When you've shoved a stick of tnt up your ass, of course.
>>488280925Idk, happens to me once in a while.
>>488273943You could also just eat popcorn
>>488281140Correction only stove top popcorn with real butter. The microplastic bag fake popcorn will make your problems worse.
>>488270108Eat more fiber
Boss mak e a dollar while I make a dime. That's why I shit on company time.
Sorry Goldberg. I have this shit nugget that won't get out and I just can't leave the toilet, I just can't.
>>488270244this, jews dont want you taking time off
>>488270108I make sure everything gets out, including all the pooplets, so I don't have to wipe as much.I also leave my phone out the bathroom, because germs
>>488281385>Insert middle finger into anus>tip of nail is inserted inside said stuck shit piece>push down in a BM style manoeuver>use the middle and index finger as sort of lever and pulley mechanism>get it out >rinse and repeat >soap and clean anus>soap and clean hands Else leave it stuck there and long term will into butt cancer.
>>488272174>Piss IS sterileSerbian medicine
>>488282782Isn't it against your religion to teach nonjeets jeet martial arts?
>>488282712>pooplets
>>488270108Actually agreeing with CNN on this one.New meta:Occupy bathroom stall, preferably the handicap one as it is the Cadillac of the poopin stalls.Sit for 10 minutes.Stand to avoid your legs going to sleep.Wait 5 minutes.Sit for 10 minutes.Repeat until it's time to go home.
>>488282915What else would you call the tiny poops that you have after the large ones?
I keep sharting myself at work. I routinely have to wipe shit out of my asscrack.
>>488270565who actually takes a shit at work?? I just sit there shitposting
>>488274756this is not anime website, kike. Go to /lgbt/
>>488274756>im a tranime faggot pedophile and I like it.Yeah, that'll show me.
>>488283635Juokas ima kaip tie pederastai-pedofilai bando stumt savo degenraciją ir sakyt kad blyn čia gi toks anime saitas, susitaikuk braliuk. Kurva perpisčiau galvą amarui. Garantuotai storas nutukęs amerikonas su ilga nosim
>>488283755Literaliai aš, kaip sako jis.
>>488282908>jeet martial arts?You mean varma kalai? (South indian) >against your religionNo we aren't christcucks Or muzzies we aren't autistic about religion except for brahmins
>>488284058>>488282908If you meant the shit taking technique thats not martial arts it's medical advice. Your own pornstars do it all the time before an assfucking scene yet never prostate cancer hmmmm why is that
>>488273943Or you can eat a bunch of hot sauce on your food and shoot it all out as diarrhea and radically reduce toilet time as well.
>>488284058Question for the poos: how come there's 1488 billion of you, but you can't win any olympic medals? Thanks
>>488270108What if I can't stop pooping after 10 minutes?
>>488270108The Jews fear the toilet squatters
Protip: eat Bulgarian/Greek yogurt and lots of fibers like oats and fruit+veg. Your shits will be smooth and quick
>>488270244Exactly what it feels like. All these viral posts of managers complaining about bathroom time and now this. Pure coincidence!
>>488270108>Big Pharma shill says XYZAlways do the opposite.
>>488270108I bet it's about blood pressure a scapegoat for explaining mrna vaccine caused issues.
>wake up>spend about 30 minutes shitting my guts out to prepare for the day>finish, wash up>stomach looks substantially flatter after shitting>have coffee after>30 minutes later take another full toilet 30 minute shitHOWWHERE DOES IT COME FROM
>>488275535Hands are busy shitposting, need a prehensile dick
wagies.... it's for your health... it's science...
>>488270108The average american spends over 2/3rds of their life in the act of defecation.
>>488270108spending too much time on the toilet causes hemmoroids this isn't news
>>488270968>it just flys right out of me
>>488271262The fundamental problem is that western toilets compress your shitpipes and make it more difficult to shit.Squat toilets make it flow out easier and are better for your long-term health.Some asian countries now have toilets with a slight decline, or you can incline your feet with a step-stool to get everything in the proper orientation.If you're setup correctly, 10 minute shits aren't necessary. But fuck the man.
>>488270108Do doctors actually think that men are spending more than 10 minutes squeezing their anus and colon to get shit out without stopping?Most of my toilet time is relaxed, I'm not squeezing or pressing at all.
>>488275535He may be implying his balls are too big and he can't shoot over them.
one time i got a hemorrhoid and thought it might be cancer so i went to the doctor and they checked my anus right then and there. so embarrassing.
>mind my own business>feel the poop sensation knocking on my butthole>oh I think I need to poop>go to the toilet>pull my pants down>relax my asshole>log of shit comes out>bend over in shower>wash>dry with toilet paper>wash hands with soap and rubbing alcohol>dry handsIt takes me 5 minutes at most, more time to wash asshole and hands than it takes me to drop the log.Are western colons full of concrete year old shits that require you to prepare 40 minutes before releasing lmao?
>>488270108tough shit, literally. i take 30 mins to shit, are the experts ok if i get up and stretch me legs before shitting back down?>page 5
>>488270411>all because the ladies love, milk tray
>>488271605twist it round and sellotape it.
>>488271118>former presidentlmao
>>488270108So what I'm getting is sitting with your pants down is bad for your anus but if you have your pants on it's ok? Or is sitting for more than 10m bad in general
>>488288471I think it's more about having your ass cheeks spread (that's how I sit on the toilet) and cutting off circulation to your legs
>>488284358Call center scamming, man vs train, rape, and street shitting aren't Olympic sports yet
>>488287835Office workers like to take more than 10 minutes for a toilet visit so they can get a bit more peace and quiet away from the retards they're working with.Some of them have a wank in there too.Management hates it however because it's their job to make sure the work gets done and workers not being at their desk for 30 minutes due to a toilet break means that management now needs to do its job, and managers hate doing their job.The article's just fuel for corporate tyranny on the work floor.
>>488270565Mostly true for me unless I eat too much cheese
>>488270619Just don't push too hard
>>488270244Fpbp and checked.I will commit Arbeitszeitbetrug on the shitter and they can't stop me.
>>488270108I only shit in the shower. Much cleaner and more efficient
>>488270885Health is a political issue
>>488270108I sit on the bowl just to sit on it, my only peace and quiet time
>>488270619Just don't push man.t. had a hemorrhoid and it went away when I stopped being a retard.
>>488271034If you get hemorrhoids you just need to push them back in
>>488288912This
>>488270108>not training your body to shit at specific timesBeen shitting at 23:30 for over twenty years and I'm always done in under five minutes.
>>488288553>>488288553Ah that makes sense.. what if you squat?
>>488270411White people take a shower, sukdeep.
>>488289084everyone talks about squatting being healthier but I can't bring myself to squat over a shit-hole like some fucking neanderthal
>>488272212Yes
>>488271851>shlomo shekelnose
>>488286273Retard Americans will flip out but you're totally right. I hate the way toilets feel, I can feel the compression. I have to stand up and bend over to get the BM going. Also, Americans don't know the power of the bidet, I wish it was standard. I've never felt more clean after using it, and less toilet paper wastage as well.
>>488288830Heard that..I also think of it as my Bat cave.The fortress of solitude.
>>488270411incredibly based
>>488288912>you thought you had to push to shitNGMI
>>488270892I had one for years, eventually got fed up and had it removed via surgery. Shit sucked, it took 2 whole years to heal up fully, for quite sometime it would randomly leak pus and spit out hair, the wound also reopened at some point and I lost a lot of blood before it stopped.
>>488274626Gp? As in group poopI use to do thoughs I would text some friends from other schools and Walk by other classes to signal to my friends and we would all go take a group while talking/texting
>>488270244Do Americans really do this? Your bosses track your time on toilet? KWAB
>>488288912I'm too tense and I had problems shitting as a kid so I always have to push. Trying to just relax and "let it happen" feels fucking weird to me. I'm NGMI
>>488276099What's pooping to quickly mean?
>>488288553I have dents at the front of my thighs from resting the elbows when shitposting.
>>488270108>Running to toilet just before pants could getting dirty>Burst python out>Beating it with toilet brush to make sure it is dead>Wipe ass clean>Wash the hands>all operation done in 3 mins
>>488270108I find it disgusting that people sit on the toilet anf use their phones/tablets. You can't even have a shit without bathing your retinas in blue light and screen-lies? The thought of these people sitting there with their pants down fingerpainting shit particles into their screens, waiting for that extra plop to come out while the advert gets to the end. That is probably most people!
personally, i just flush it all out
>>488276238Just sit on the front
>>488288303posts like this are why i can never fucking leave this place
>>488274598 I work faster when I am keeping a loaf pinched in. The urgency that I bring to all tasks when squeezing tighter than a bow constrictor is remarkable. No poops for you Huwhite boys.
>>488270108Nice
>>488270108If you can't poop and are American, please eat real food for the first time in your life. Everything will change for the better, I promise you.
Jew is toilet and they want goyim to not sit on their face and shit for too longIt's another shitoah
Yep more propaganda to make wagie get in cagie.What you pissed for an entire 2mins?You took 6 entire mins to get a coffee?Yeah they can fuck right off.Work for yourself, work for a good boss or get unemployment, fuck that.
Reddit. Who the fuck made this castle of shit posts!
>>488289169It definitely helps but I only do it when Im constipated when I'm not it takes me a couple minutes
>>488288817Just shit in the stationary closet."Carol whats this bag.....ewwwwwww"
>>488270411Predicts the election better than all msm and their “Nostradamus”. Washes poopshoot while activating windscreen wiper shit flinging technology. Has birds.Is 5x cleaner than the cleanliest Poo. Is there nothing that rhino’s cannot do?
Mud fucker mound!Stop it with the shit posts.
>>488290070“Nostradamus”.
>>488270619>YOU DO NOT WANT HEMOROIDScan confirm. extreme pain and blood loss requiring surgery, after surgery, now sit on pot for no longer than 5 minutes
>>488290048I think the slang term is waffle stomping.
>>488289169It is amazing. We think of those hole toilets as a sign of the 3rd world, but after trying one I wish I had more chances to use them here in my home country.I realised that I have an extra gear for shitting that I didn't know I had. I squatted down and the way the turd just slipped out in its full entirity, and in a greater amount than from a sitting posture, it was exceptional. I stood up and instantly realised that I'd cleared out more muck than I usually do just from the feeling of my guts.I've tried standing on my toilet's seat and that works too, but I reckon I'll break the thing in half if I do it regularly.
>>488271605I was just thinking I'd have a concubine with that kind of dick control.
>>488288817I did this when I was a kid..took off the drain and shat Convenient
This bastard was right above the lavvy for a week. I had to crap in bin bags. It’s gone now, but where? It’s terrifying going in there. Plus i keep standing on bin bags. I don’t think they are going to flush. I’m going to have to stay up late and fly tip them into ALDI car park. Santa is coming early this year, shelf monkeys.
>>488290476I think I've seen you before in a britpol thread. You the lad who was posting his method for shitting in bin liners and tying them to avoid the smell? It must be you.Plus that spider doesn't give a fuck about you as long as you leave it alone, and even then it wants to run away to save its own life. Come on lad.
>>488288817I had a friend who told me once he pissed in the shower. It blew my mind that that was even a possibility. He opened up a whole new universe to me and I've been pissing in the shower ever since. I thought piss went in the toilet or against a tree.
>>488275721>>488275763Solved
>>488270244yeah but phoneposting doesnt work anymore
>>488290628Wait until you figure out it also goes in your mouth.
>>488276317Are you a poet? You should be
>>488290257LOL
>>488289856Yep that's fucking classic.
>>488290107
>>488286273Stoolshitters rise up
>>488270244Yep cunts seething at work because a man has to take a shit. Then we come back to our spreadsheets and bitches be walking around the office making small talk.
>>488270108Guess Indians are immune to this
>>488270244Based. Bosses seething
>>488290070this is hippopotamus not rhinoceros
>>488276238>shitting in public toiletslmao, you get what you fucking deserve
>>488291614rhinopotamus
>>488270108>lazy goy pooping on Mr Noseburgstein's time.
>>488270108A jewish rat will bite your hanging balls.
>>488270108my toilet time is my reading time. I read 2 pages every BM.Right now I'm reading an autobiography of Galileo. His life was meticulously documented, it's amazing. However he was an asshole because he locked his illegitimate daughters in a convent their whole lives.So while he was an amazingly gifted person, he was also a grade a ass hole.
>>488270108Most Americans are morbidly obese and live on a nutritious diet of McDonald's and Coca Cola, so they spray diarrhea dumps in only a few minutes and multiple times a day. I have a pretty good diet and spend around 20~40 minutes (it depends) on the toilet. Usually, they are massive turds. I also heard men who work out a lot and eat tonns for muscle development have ridiculously huge shits quite often.
THE JEWS ARE TRYING TO CHANGE THE WAY I SHIT
I've been spending 12 hours a day on the toilet for nearly a decade now.Not continuously though. I would eat some low quality food like McDonalds/Tim Hortons/pizza then get diarrhea. It wasn't food poisoning either because it wasn't acute, but I would sit on the toilet and shit, then wipe and shower/clean up, then when I was out of the shower or sometimes even in the shower I'd feel the poop coming on again, then I'd have to sit on the toilet to shit again + repeat. I once did this like 8 times in a row, toilet shower toilet shower toilet shower toilet shower toilet shower toilet shower toilet shower toilet shower. Then once after I got in bed after that ordeal I shat the bed.I'm pretty sure it's not food poisoning because I've had food poisoning before and it's completely different, and these use to happen every other day, and other people could eat in those places with no problem. Once I started eating real food from real sit down restaurants it stopped.Anyways, I'm pretty sure I have some hemorrhoids because I've had itchy buttholes before, but I'm surprised I don't have more serious ones given my toilet practices. I'm like 210 pounds which is borderline obese too, so it's weird.I think if you were heavier and fatter the problems are more serious, but then again I know some thin borderline underweight people with hemorrhoids and anal prolapse, so I guess it comes down to your pelvic floor muscles.I guess I'm a literal anally retentive tightass and have never stuck anything in it which helps.Guess I should start seriously squatting instead of sitting to shit.
What the hell is wrong with you /pol?Work on your gut flora.
>>488270108It's funny that all of the health advice comes from the unhealthiest group of people in the world. Never forget that for decades they were saying that eggs were bad for you, and to substitute margarine for butter.
>>488293251>morbidly obese and live on a nutritious diet of McDonald's and Coca Cola, so they spray diarrhea dumps in only a few minutes and multiple times a dayHuh I didn't read your post before I made mine and it's pretty much my experience here >>488293609Fast food is literally poison, once I stopped penny pinching and start spending around $30-40 CAD per meal, I started feeling fine. Whatever they're serving under $15 nowadays isn't food.
>>488272107In most cases the hemorrhoids are slightly inside and protrude, so you have to get the ointment inside your asshole. You have to do it at least a couple times a day, and every time you take a shit. It can take weeks or even months to get rid of them, depending on the severity. If you stop treatment too soon they will flare right back up. You're also much more prone to getting them again in the future.They do make suppositories and nozzle attachments for the ointment tubes, but I find it easiest to just use a finger and wash your hands well.
>>488272222Holy crap the numbers
>>488272222jesus...
>>488272222I get this too. I'm gonna try that fiber thing the other guy mentioned.
>>488270108i never understood how people take 30 mins to shit. by the time my ass hits the seat the shits in the toilet. its a 2 minute job at most.
