My friend's father works for the FSB. Today he was urgently called to a meeting. He returned late and did not explain anything. He just told me to pack my things and run to the grocery store to buy food for two weeks. Now we are going somewhere far outside the city. I don't know what's going on, but it seems to me it's started...
>>489066291Why does your friend's father live with you? Are you his sex slave twink?
My dad works at nintendo and he rapes me in my sleep every night
>>489066291>>489066501OP just focus on how good you look so that you can sell your body for protection when nuclear Armageddon comes
>>489066291You left out the part where he slobbers your knobber
>>489066291
>>489066542Nintendo has gone woke :c
>>489066291>He just told me to pack my things and run to the grocery store to buy food for two weeksHe told you to go shopping for two whole weeks?
Two weeks, you don't say?
>>489066617This, pick up some nair or wax strips
>>489066291Who the fuck is bombing Kazakhstan?
>>489066291Guys, Mark Milley just texted me that the USA will commence nuclear bombings of Russia and China in roughly 1,209,600,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 yoctoseconds
>>489066291My dad works at the nigger catchin office. He was in a hurry this morning, sipping his coffee on the way out the door, but he assured me the supplies of niggers to tongue my anus will not be impacted whatsoever. These guys were also considered essential employees during the pandemic too so I’m not worried
>1pbid>sounds like west fed shills fake.
>>489066868it takes two week to rebuild a city and critical infrastructure stupid, I'm gonna munch on raw spaghetti and flex in front of a mirror enjoying my new tan while everyone else is chewing on their Nike's, dumbasses
>>489066291>He just told me to pack my things and run to the grocery store to buy food for two weekstwo weeks to flatten the nuclear curve
>>489066291Why do I have inclination to believe this?
>>489066291ManHaven't seen this one in a while
>>489066291>we're speeding up boys!
>>489067224this same kazahk flag user has posted this same copypasta, he seems to do it whenever tensions are high so its more believeable.hes just joking
>>489066291I hope you get to meet Borat in the bunker. He's a big celebrity, he has to be there.
>>489066291Hold up, do you live with your friend's father?What type of relationship do you guys have?
Damn, Russians in full panik mode now that they're not safe from air strikes like before.
>>489066291>buy food for two weeksthat's it, two more weeks again.
>>489066291My brother's a Navy Seal. While we were playing video games today, his beeper went off. He called his Senior Chief and my brother's face turned white. He ran downstairs, got his scuba tanks, fins and sniper rifle. Before he left, he told me that he loved me and to "find some iodide tablets by tonight!" then he left. Something big is happening guys.
>>489066542Pics or it didn’t happen.
>>489067988My uncle is commander of rocket artillery unit. After he got phone in the middle of the night he run behind barn with a shovel and suddenly night turned into day. He returned with one extra leg and told us to never speak about it.
>>489066291>buy food for two weeks.he told you to buy groceries?
>>489066291>two weeks
>>489066501BOOOM, ZING!
>>489066291Troll
https://youtu.be/-KFH--_cdiI?t=83
>>489067216KEK
>>489067216>>489067216>>489067216336 HOURS CONFIRMED
>>489066291I remember this pasta.
>>489066542was he involved in the production of the super nintendo?
Your story might be plausible if nukes existed.
>>489066291Why don't I believe you?
My friend works in the Legionaires. He said to gather all the white sheets available. It will be needed.
>>489070090how much tp do you have on hand?
yep, my uncle who works at Nintendo told me the same thing too
>>489067988My dad called me up last night. He wanted me to visit him, he had to show me something. When I got there he led me to the shed in the back of the yard. And there it was, his finished project to heal the world. A 88 kiloton thermal nuclear bomb. Hand crafted by him. He asked me to help him to put it in the rowingboat. And than he paddled away, he yelled at me that he was going to row the boat to the Israeli coast and show the kikes how a real holocaust looks. He planned to arrive there in 2 weeks.
>>489070042oh my god you fags are insufferable
>>489066944This is copypasta. I read this exact text two years ago.
>>489066291Nothing will happen
>>489066501what he meant to say was his dad's boyfriend. The only thing getting nuked around there is his dad's asshole, if you follow
