>*wood splinters*
>>15796475Sir Kevin of Nash was brutally sodomized in the harsh summer of 1592.
>>15796475>so thou is dost not apprised?
>>15796475Do tell through thou came acrost thine knowledge
>>15796475perhaps in the realms of the dumbe
Alas, the knave of the year remains Lord Vince, I fear.
>Thomas Becket was brutally murdered in the frigidly colde Wynter of the year of our Lord 1170I laugh, for he has the bearing of a Catholic dog!
If thou wisheth to behold Sir Gravelly Chilling Stephen of Austin to grace this foolish whelp with a firm boot to his posterior, grant me a "hear, hear!"
>>15796607Mine bubble had burst
>>15796498Tis unfortunately so.
AYE
>>15796498T'was.
>>15796595I imploreth thee to enlighten mine own self
>>15796475>1674>medievalbruh
>>15796781Verily, thou lacks wisdom.
>>15796678Kek
>>15796475I implore you to enter thine privy, fornicate, discover a signum
>>15796678HEAR HEAR
>>15796814An inquiry: what dost thou mean by such a statement?
it twas not a manuscript of the fairer sex... it twas a BUGGER'S manuscript!
>>15797212Kek
>>15796475n*gga you do know that there was pretty famously glass in the medieval times, right????
STEED E OSTEED E O STEED E O
An poster eithin thine threads pertaining to the second biggest wrrstling fare has been posting crude portraits of men dressing as women again, under a pseudonym of some sort of bizarre fruit from a strange land
>>15797840Whilst thou might not be telling falsehoods - wouldn't non blue blooded scoundrel not unlike the fiendish snake of rattling be more likely to be part of the bottom rung of the kingdoms, unable to afford even a speck of glass to shield himself from drafts flowing through his abode?
>>15796678HEAR HEAR HEAVENS YES
>>15796498'Believed to be so.
>>15796475Seek relations.
thee poore sod is lame in the legs and cannot walke. i dub him swinewheels.
>>15797865hearty laugh
>>15797840Don't tell them. They come from places that just got the glass update like 70 years ago when we patched them
I do believe this godless oriental indian has spent a large sum of his father's monies on a lame horseHWAK! (Ho, What A Knave!)
>>15796498https://suno.com/song/97216aae-6025-4d0f-a498-2f6b0359ac29
>>15796498The middle ages ended at the end of the 15th century anon, you're 92 years off
>>15796678god's wounds ser!
>>15796498>1592
>>15800101>It's trueThe waves echo throughout the centuries, there isn't a single time,or timeline, where Nash wasn't sodomized in the summer of 92
>>15796498the still water does not stir, despite your foul provocations. verily, you waste your years preaching falsehood
>>15800101‘Od’s blood tis seems un’voidable that such a thing be happening over and over, how? Wat ho?
IF THOU SMELLEEEEEEEEEEEETHWHAT THE BOULDER DOTH COOKETH
>>15796646Eat shit you British cunt. TIOCFAIDH AR LA
>>15800101a falsehood, surely?
Verily, I am the Queen Gwynevere for men.
>>15800101Surely a jest? Ripples = achieved
I think I've got the plague, bros.
>>15796475I beseech ye! Is there anye truth to the claim that the good knight Sir Kevine of Nashe was set upon by a pack of merry moors?
This is howe it shall be done:I taketh mine sword bakwardes and pommel youthen thou doth do the same and pommels methen I pommel theethen thou pommel methen I pommel theethen thou pommel meThen, the performance doth verily ascend to the second parte wherein we mount our steeds andI jouste theethen thou jouste methen I jouste theethen thou jouste me
>>15796475You really thought that was funny didn’t you?
>>15800847We fear it be not a fable
>>15800081>HWAK! (Ho, What A Knave!)
Lo, I see many folk gathered in the taverns and guild halls, seeking to disparage the old Serpent, hurling jests and mockeries upon what they deem the "most wretched speech in all the land." Yet, the truth lies not with these masses, for their minds are too clouded to grasp the grand art that Ser Jake hath laid before them.For many a year, men have scoffed at the line, "Dost thou wish to play at twenty-one? I possess twenty-two," claiming Ser Jake is ignorant of the laws of the card game. Nay, what Ser Jake meant, in truth, was that he possessed a dagger sharp as his wit, 22 inches exactly, and though his foe may possess a perfect hand, he wouldst not depart this place a victor. Ser Jake is fierce, ruthless, and bound by no rules in the pursuit of triumph.The next line, "Wouldst thou play at Blackjack? I hold two such things as well," dost not refer to the game of chance. Nay, Ser Jake speaks of blackjacks—sturdy clubs, crude but deadly, with which he would crush those who dare stand before him.And lastly, the most cunning of all, the line: "Shall ye wager on Aces and Eights? I possess more than my share," echoes with dark meaning. Aces and Eights, known throughout the land as the Dead Man’s Hand, the very cards the rogue Bill Hickok held when his life was cruelly snatched from him.Ser Jake, ever the cunning snake, dost claim that his path is littered with the bones of men who dared think themselves his better, only to fall as Hickok did, with death’s cold grip upon them. ‘Tis time the kingdom faced the truth—though his mind was addled by spirits stronger than wine, Ser Jake the Serpent could weave a tale more cunning and sharp than any bard in all of the realm.
>>15797212thou hast filled my soul with mirth!
Ye believeth lady rhea chaste but behold, proof she hath consorted with moors!
>>15801248I've 'eard she enjoys a jolly good rogering up the keister.
>>15801198Verily, I approve of the story and message that Ser Jake has spread across the lands.
>>15801198Exalted Ser Jake Knowledge Peddler!
>>15800101emanations have occurred
>>15801198Blessed Ser Jake Manuscripter.
Methinks I be comely, I wot I be fair, Mine visage doth enchant, And maketh maidens to swoon.I possess the steps, That truly doth stir them, I sendeth shivers up and down their spines.I be but a comely lad (comely lad), I be not thy plaything (plaything). I be but a comely lad (comely lad), I be not thy plaything (plaything).I maketh them warm, I causeth them to quiver, Their knees grow weak, Whene’er I be near.They seeth me stride, They heareth me speak, I maketh them feel, As if on cloud nine.I be but a comely lad (comely lad), I be not thy plaything (plaything). I be but a comely lad (comely lad), I be not thy plaything (plaything).Devour thy hearts, maidens, Keep thy hands from the wares.I be but a comely lad (comely lad), I be not thy plaything (plaything), I be but a comely lad (comely lad), I be not thy plaything (plaything)
>>15797212Oration ‘twas goodly
>>15801198Ho, thine should respecteth the Ser's that have cometh before us. May the person who inscribed upon this tablet encounter considerable joy and propsperity.
>King Harold twas pier'ced through the eye by a Norman arrowe near Hastings in the coole autumn of 1066.
>>15796498>1592>middle ages
>>15797212KEK
>>15800347>AS THE BOULDER DECREES, KNOWETH THINE PLACE, AND CLOSETH THINE FACE
>>15801198dear Barde of Jake, beloved by all!
>>15801198Verily, for thee art as the Sir Kazuchika Okada of our fellow noblemen the land of /pw/.
>>15801198sometimes you chuds are alright
>>15796475I spat upon theyn name of thee slop fed, piggiEs shall all be put in the iron maiden or hung from they gallows to squeal thee last breath
>>15801198I woulds’t like to see this scroll again, since it gives me great comfort. I heartily thank thou for this fable.
A thousand lutes lay sundered and nary a shilling 'twas drawn
>>15801665Thou would best be not appealing to my anger.
I'm from the future. You niggas are gay.
>>15801705Why thou have gaping bloody wound where twas dingus shat be?
Twas after I hath considered the manuscript wherein the Jew, David of Meltzer, granted a duo of penniless acrobats the highest and mightiest of praises that I found mineself approving of his people's expulsion from the lande.
Thou've donne it verily; thou've partaken in enourmous tomfoolery
>>15801705Remove swiftly the knight doll through thou anus, fool
>>15800877Such frivolity would grant the 4 semitic stars from the esteemed David. However, had it taken place in the Orient, you would receive 5 of such stars.
Perchance, sir, you may declare unto me thy name? IT MATTERS NOT WHAT THY NAME IS!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR
>>15796475BRIGAND EXCREMENT FESTIVALPROFIT NAY A SHILLING
>>15802866>KENNETH OMEGAS VISAGE IS LIKE DOTH GAZING UPON A BROTHER MARX!>DOTH HE BELIEVE HIMSELF TO BE IN A NORTH MOORISH MUSICAL TROUPE? HE VIBRATES HIS HANDS ANON! >HE FICTIONALIZES HIS INTENT! YON VIOLENCE DOES NOT DECEIVE MINE EYE
Acknowledge Temujin as thy khan
>Thee bethink thou art o' king's make, thee doth
>medieval thread>it's actually a renaissance thread
Smack nay upward hath had it's contract of vassalage retracted!
>>15802846Blessed
>>15803012Knave! Surely ye consort with thee parlor tricks of the Hindustani for ye bear the visage of one who rolls with swine!
>>15802971HAVE NOT A CARE TO WHAT THY KHAN BELIEVES
>>15802866>SER BRYAN MY COUNTENANCE HAST BEGUN TO QUIVER
Ser Meltzer the Jester... Why make claims of Ser Khan being revered by his people? The dunce is naked all day and his followers pretend he is clothed...
Kevin from The Ash Tree was violated in the sweltering summer of 1192
>>15796498OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Thine preferred jouster hast surmounted naught a single denarius, and the amassed crowds art so minuscule, that the seating requireth coverlets.
>>15803046>THOU BEFOULED!>THOU BEFOULED!>THOU BEFOULED!>THOU BEFOULED!
>>15802896Kenneth moves as if his buttocks hath received the seed of many a man who spendeth their time consorting with castrati!
>>15802866>>15802896
i only read samurai fights
>>15797212shoot popped me irl
>>15803483mmmmmmmmmm flawless pugilism
I think some ren faire fags are definelty in the thread>>15802896>HE FICTIONALIZES HIS INTENThuge kek
>>15803483Extraordinary........
Lords and Ladies, peasants and grunts, younglings of all years, Debauched propagation arrogantly puts forth to thee, The Nation of Three Kingdoms tandem champions of the realm, Thee Hound of the trail Sir Jessey James, Thee erroneous bottom William of Gunn, The Contemporary Marauders!
>>15796475Alas, poor Kevin! We knew him, Daq'uan. A fellow of infinite zest, of most excellent fancy. He hath borne us in his backend a thousand times. And now how treasured in my imagination it is! My prick rises at it. Here hung those lips that we kiss'd I know not how oft. Where be your quads now? your money? your miles? your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the negroes on a roar?
>>15796642it remains Sir Anthony R. of the Khan household I am afraid
fall upon the mat...i shall raise to thine concern that a single of thine bollocks art draped outside yon girdle
Mine title is known to thee, yet thou fail to comprehend the purpose of mine presence
>>15804116>ART THOU UNBEKNOWNST
>>15802846I HAVE COME HITHER TO PROCLAIM ITI HAVE COME HITHER TO PROCLAIM IT
>>15796475Loud trumpet, loud trumpet, Lord Jarrett doeth striketh his foe with mandolin
>>15796498'tis spoken true
>>15796475In Fourteen Hundred Ninety-TwoNash was fucked where out comes poo
>>15804675MOOOOOOOOOOOOR
>>15804704such uncouth speech DOES grace our tongues in these halls, brother
>uhhheth mine eye doth gazed upon runes inscribed within the archives of the library of wikipedia which stated that...
IT IS ASSUMED OF THE LORD TO CRAFT ALL MEN OF THE SAME ABILITY, YET GAZE UPON MINESELF AND TO JOESPH OF SAMOA AND BEHOLD THE FALSEHOOD YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD
>>15801519Twas a never better'd invasion angle, methinks.
>>15804755>>15804704>>15804675KEK
>>15796498I fear 'tis true.
I've heard fables of a man from the east with a chin of such a size as nay seen before on a mortale. It has been spoken also that he bears a forename not unlike such found in the Kingdoms of Lombardy. 'Tis a strange tale, no?
>>15805024Similar tales have graced mine ears. Haven't any more wisdom for thee, yet one counsel I've been told - Enlarge thine chin.
>>15801851>Mmmmm.... such knavery be not condoned. Or thou shalt.... REQUIESCAT...IN... PACE... ughhhhh.
How did it feel whence thy brother died?
>>15801198kek
The time for jestering has come to an end; lo, retrieve a stool to rest upon and silence thyselves. Upon the encroaching wee hours of the night, there be held a battle for the Lord of the Duo Banner betwixt thine Acolytes, and Sir Pac of Cross with Kaine, wither be unto, though such matter is trivial. The importance of this declaration is as such: on the coming of the Lord's Day at Somer Smash, the champion of the bout this night shall come to challenge us. However, I required my partener to have his mettle put on trial. I had Sir Paul Bearer send a messenger to Californaye, Valley of San of Fernando, to squires belonging to our league at yonder's "Town 81st", and Sir Paul relayed we would demand two mechanical carriages for a journey through the desert. The knave uttered then: >Brother Paul, in our knowledge, we have known that the Man Corpse can withstand the voyage, but we are uncertain for Sir Much Spectacle's capabilities. 'Tis the time of August, with heated rays of a bone rending 120 ticks. The knave continued forth: >Scant few things prevail in that region, but beings of chilling blood... such as those of the reptile family. And Sir Paulus chortled: >Fair play, and within one of those metal beasts, you shall give Much Spectacle 'nough fuel to only travel as far as the heart, and not one droplet more.
Thus we rode, towards the heart of the Valley of Death, 120 ticks of the air's flames, and Much Spectacle's carriage expires. I arrive beside him, and ask him thusly:>In this burning open field, good giant, how shall thee fare? He peered daggers into mine eyes and spoke boldly in retort. >I shall wait 'til you retire for the evening, thrust a blade into thine rearside, carve your flesh away, make cloth of it, and devour thine flesh until proper nourshment is secured. And so I said: >A fine monologue my friend, but I never tire. And I simply ventured onward, waiting on the desert's edge after. Two moon falls later, he arrives with a cravat made of serpent, boots of lisarde, carrying his iron horse with him. The message of mine story is thus: what was whence known as Somer Smash shall be named now as Armageddon, and whichever fools reveal themselves... shall be smote.
>ARM BARRE
>>15805930>>15805916Verily I speaketh: this is worthy of the Bard himselfe!
NOTHING DOTH MEAN NOTHING!I BE TALKING ABOUT T'WRD THE WAY TO THE TOP, AYE. I DOTH BE IN A POSITION THAT I RATHER NOT BE IN. BUT THE CREAM WILST RISE TO THE TOP, AYE. MADNESS OF MACHO, AYA, DOTH HAVE MORE THAN SER JACK OF TUNNEY DOTH THINK I GOT, AYE, AND LET ME SPEAKETH ONTO YOU HENCEFORTH, THE ORDER BE STACKETH AGAINST THE MAN OF MACHO. SER RANDY DE SAVAGE AT WRESTLEMANIAIII, LET ME SAY POSTHASTE, AND LET ME SPEAKETH DIRECTLY TO THE LORD OF THE WORLD WRESTLING GUILD, THAT THE MAN OF MACHO SER RANDY DE SAVAGE IS PERTURBED WITH THINE DECISION, AYE. I AMST THE CREAM OF THE WORLD WRESTLING GUILD AND THERE SHALL BE NO DOUBT, AYE. YOU SER GENE OF OKERLUND THE MEAN, YOU KNOWETH THAT I BE THE CREAM OF THE CROP!
>>15806018lmao this was a good one
>>15796498This fable... were it to be true?
>>15800877Ser David Meltzenstein the first would surely give this bout four seals - perhaps even five were it to include the esteemed Ser William - also known as the father of a rather exotic bastard.
>>15796498I have heard it be a group of swarthy Moorish fellows in space betwixt two buildings in Amsterdam.
>>15807152holy kek
>>15800101THY LORDHATETHNASHE
Allow the Stone to speak of "Churl" William Arquebuss. The Stone doth understand what hath taken place. That night upon which thou achieved victory in the Champion of the List Field tournament, thou fell upon thy knees, put thine undersized hands together and offered up a prayer that doth sound as such: "'Oh My Heavenly Father, know my name be William and I hath won the Champion of the List Field. Yet there be but one issue: the people doth believe that TO MY VERY CORE I BE UNDESERVING!"Verily, fair William, your home doth began to shake and the the heavens be torn asunder as Our Father God Himself speaketh to thou and thus did he say: "Robert..." "But my name be William..." "IT DOTH NOT MATTER WHAT NAME YOU POSSESS! Thou art correct. Thou ist most unworthy. However, there yet be one thing and one thing alone that thou may do. Thou must goeth find the man that be exhilirating. Thou must goeth and find The Stone.""O, Lord be it anyone but the St- "KNOWETH THY ROLE AND CLOSE THY MOUTH!" Ye, as fear travel through yon body, tears flow down yon cheek and urine rolle down yon league, thine home shaketh once more, the clouds part and the heavens open and what soundeth to be millions (AND MILLIONS) of voices sayeth to you in unison, knave, "IF THOU SMELLETH... WHAT THE STONE... IST... COOKING!"
These men doth appear to show much queer interest in both exotic grapplers from the orient and fair young girls.
>>15807152Doth thou'st speak of the pennilless acrobat, William of the O'Spreay clan? I hath indeed heard talk in the taverns concerning his troupe whomst appear to have reciev'd nary a huppence whene they ply their trade–and he is seen oft with his bethrothed's moorish halfling!I have even heard some jesters loudly proclaim - most frivolously after many an ale - that he instead should be name'd 'Ass-play' to much joviality 'mongst the gather'd patrons of the tavern favour'd by basket weavers.
My fair Lady Livia doth allow me to be myself. She procureth chicken meat most succulent whenever I doth require. She alloweth me to enjoy sport whenever I doth require. Ye, she doeth for me whatst thou be not able to accomplish... help me thrash mine father!
>>15807382>and he is seen oft with his bethrothed's moorish halfling!The rumours speak true then? His bastard child is not of his own seed? To think he picked a broad who sold her chastity to a moor - I bet he takes joy in it. Tell you what, lad, she prob'ly makes him squirm like a weasel in bed when she fingers his posterior.
>>15803483nnn have a villainous eve!
>>15807422Verily
people didn't actually talk like this, it's writers prose of the time. I'm not selling this fake shit
>>15796475they had glass in the medieval era tho
>>15807434This is a message board ya ding dong. You don't speak on a message board so of course it's all writer's prose. We're writing.
>>15807434verily i say this knave is nought but an ass
>>15796475Hark and pay heed you ignoble curs, for I be truly grander that thou all as I doeth cast my attention singularly to the superior conflicts of the Shogunate as advised in the tapestries of the learned Sir Meltzer. And know that soon in reward of this act many geisha of rare finement shall adorn my bedchamber.
>>15796475Sir DeVaughn! ENQUIRE upon thy tables!
>>15796498AAAAA CALL THE BANNER SIR WOLF
>>15807434A most pleasing oration.
verily, the local constables shovel this dung heap in exchange for nither pennies nor gold
A man named Nashe, he was a sire,To an alley he went, he drew the ire,Of many dark skinned moorish men -He cried out loud, "Oh not again!"Henceforth he was thrown to the ground,Dark poles jousting into his mound -On and on and on it went!'till the last of their seed was spent!
>>15803483Mmmmmm I do not wish to arouse this one's anger!
>>15807434thou didst not know?
>>15807434perhaps on the Sphere of Imbeciles
Faretheewell 'til the morrow supporters of Ser Hogan and damnable fools that lacketh all vitality, and verily know not when a joust is a performance when it is perform'd, and lather thyselves into such a froth as to believe it to be reel, knaves.
>>15807434Mark, why dost thou weep?
>>15808339>thou shalt not deceive us, knave
>>15801198monstrous poo
>>15800101TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE
>>15797865keketh
>>15801198
>>15800101I fear this is the truth
>>15800646Surely thou has’t been triple boosted?
>>15804675>>15804704>>15804755best thread on /pw/ since the one milly get
>>15807434thou tellest me
As I march onward every setting of the most glorious sun I carry the motto affixed to my strong sword arm, that of merchantcraft, fealty and regard. ‘Tis the creed of the men sworn to deliver the holy land from the mohomeddean rabble, the Turk and the pagan alike…with the strength of our lord god of hosts made steele our resolve we have brought to a most final conclusion that Saracen cur SALA-DIN SALADIN
>>15806136THOU MAYST NOT ENJOY MINE STATEMENTS NOR BELIEVE THEM TRUE. THINE ACCEPTANCE WILL NOT BE THUS
>>15808737I indeed took waters from the kind semetic physician thricely. Of what concern is this to thee?
O Lord, forgiveth a soul for experimentation
Doth Dax of Harwood have his humours in balance?
>>15796475Wives brawling is dreary, I shall quaff a tankard and relieve myself.
Excrement in mine armoury, brethren.
>>15796884In the sweltryng sesoun of twelve ninety and two, Keve Nash was ravyshed by a bande of Afrikans.
>>15800040O bicche titte , swyne-wheele is but thy delusyon, thou hast been unmasked as a knave many tymes, I praye the janitors bannish this foole.
>>15807434Mayhaps in yon Kingdom of The Dumb
>>15800101wtf
>>15809944'Sblood! Thou'st speeketh truthes? Or art thou just anoth'r unruly bandite,whomst spredeth falsehoods as if they were fortune's finest factes?A merciless braggart perchance,who doth seek to dirtye the name of the goode knighte Nashe?Speake at once, knave!
>>15809944Around blackamoores, do barre all thy doores
>>15809919Surely you've meant bubbles from lather, brethren
>>15804639THINE POSTERIOR WOULD BE WISE TO INFORM SOMEOOOOOOOOOONE!!!
>>15809831Thine inquiry hast caused me much merriment.
I shalt reciev'eth pleasur from thee mouthways when thou'st arre prepar'd to maketh it mine
IMBIBE SPIRITSBLASPHEMESTRIKE BLOWS UPON LADY DEBORAHOH GOD'S BLOOD
>>15807434I do loathe the “enlightened” peasants
>>15810658Nay 'tis shite, brethren.
>>1581044510/10
Rumours are circulating around the markets and the villages that king Vincent Mcmahon II has been accused of depraved carnal acts, what do you fellas think?
>>15804935VERILY, THE CALCULATIONS SPEAK TRUTH AND FORETELLTH THY DOOM
>>15810825King Vincent of the Clan McMahon may verily be a whoreson apostate and catamite, but it is still Anthony Khan
>>15810825>u must have ur raiment cast off and three RUFFIANS FROM PRESTER JOHN'S ORIENT set upon u!!!
>>15810855Ho, what a wretched dame!
>>15796475Lo, includeth mine selfe in thee tapestry!
>>15811077>two sevens in successionINSPECTED
NOW HEAR YETHIS BE NOT FANTASY
>>15796498Gadzooks! How dost such a thing occur to a man of his stature?
thine must cherish the codester or stand accused of buggery forthwith
Dost thou believeth that a man of such tiny stature be as humdrum as a peasant's gruel, yet he flippeth so spectaculary?
>>15810709HEAR HEAR
'Twas I, Ser Austin! 'Twas I, Ser Austin! 'Twas I the entire time, Ser Austin!>O, biche-sonne!
>>15811439The man of Rhodes is much beloved amongst the Moorish women. How doth he obtain such status?
>>15811509Arousal of mine soulMoorish champion cody of rhodes
>>15807875That is simply unfathomable.
>>15807875>>15807885>>15808339>>15809831>>15810064>>15801372>>15801519>>15801665>>15810445>>15810702>>15801198>>15801851>>15803129>>15804225>>15803299>>15803310>>15805024>>15805145>>15806018>>15807382>>15807422>>15807152>>15803129>>15800877>>15800847>>15800608>>15796884Verily I chuckled my brethren. A jolly good show, all in all!
>>15807875>>15807885>>15808339>>15809831>>15810064>>15801372>>15801519>>15801665>>15810445>>15810702>>15801198>>15801851>>15803129>>15804225>>15803299>>15803310>>15805024>>15805145>>15806018>>15807382>>15807422>>15807152>>15803129>>15800877>>15800847>>15800608>>15796884Verily I chuckled depply my brethren. A jolly good show, all in all!
>>15811509His father, the senior Rhodes, consorted muchly withe women of darke complexion. Thus a kind of gifte was pass'd downe, I susspecte.
>>15805357Like Cain who had slayeth Able...
>>15811811>>15811814a feat of magick, perhaps?
>ne’er the man of worth>ne’er hath he earned his wage full>ne’er did partake in a match of great repute ere the year of our lord 1406 and e’en then was borne by men of far greater prowess>ne’er hath he spake a memorable discourse>ne'er hath he raised a man upon his own shoulders >ne'er possessed the courage to leave the halls of comfort of the WWF though master turned did offer 20 shillings>graced the final bout of the most meager wrestlemania of the 1390s >graced the final bout of the most meager wrestlemania of the 1410s >befouled the kings tournament such that it was stricken from the annals >seldom was he found in the chief title contest, for he was naught but a man of lesser standing>only the second in worth of the brothers of ruin>and but the fourth of esteem in the order of the dark arts>yea e’en the eighth among the order of the kings dark council>his garb as a rider was but folly>his sport as a man of combat was mere jest>poor judgement in whisky>a hairline most unfortunate>bears the mark of his former bride upon his neck>his first union in matrimony did fail with such shame that he wed thereafter an emaciated damsel of little renown.>his only notable feat was by mishap, for he was thrust into a streak at wrestlemania by fortune alone.
>>15813117HAMOCMF (hark a moor of countenance most foul)
Breton Hart befouled Breton Hart.
>>15807434thou must enlighten me
>>15810825Aye, he be a most wretched fellow. One wouldst weep for his spirit, were he not of such willful depravity. Forever shall his soul be locked from the gates of paradyse, for engaging t'wards much insanity.
>>15815175Hark, what of his prized fighter?
>>15815188For a man of bountiful strength, Ser Lesnarr also be an odd fellow, were the gossip herd thru the merchants and publicke records be true. 'Tis merely a matter of season's changes 'fore that trewthe reveals.
>>15796475Doth Cordium is none plussed!
I hath arrived, for thou art unable to fulfill thy duty.
I am not your childs trinket, however I am a provocative youth
Whatever wilt thou doeth? I ask once more, whatever wilt thou doeth when the Goliathmania take hold and run hither and thither upon thee?
THOU SHAN'T PERCEIVE ME
THE PARABLE OF AUGUSTINE, CHAPTER 3, VERSE 16 DECREES, "THIS MAN HATH DOMINANTLY FLAYED THINE POSTERIOR"
>>15813401
>>15807535Hath thou yet consorted with a slant-eye'd enchantress? Or hath thee been forc'd to only fornicate most buggerly with younge castrati?
>>15815422kino
If what mine ears dost hear be true... I do pity Ser Walter.
LO, FOOLISH KNAVES, FOR THOU DIRTY PEASANTRY STAND 'FORE THE LAVICIOUS,, ROYAL CARRIAGE ARODIN', DRAKE SOARING, MAIDEN'S KISS THIEVING, GAME PLAYIN' AND CARD SLAYIN', CHILD OF DEVIOUSNESS, THE NATURAL SON, SIR RICHARD FLAIRE! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I hear a knave named Phil hath been courting the dames of the court as of late - bringing them missives which they can redeem for refreshments.
>>15809289thou only hast two weeks to live
>>15817837Two morre weekes until I meeteth my maker? I look forward to restful paradyce at my lord's side!
Thus it is, Ser Lesnar hath not appeared at his labours this day.
>>15796678BESTILL THINE HASTE, SIR AUSTIN!THE QUARREL TWIXT OUR AMBITIONS DOTH VERILY BESEECHETH CONCLUSION.THUS I OFFER THEE HENCE A CONFRONTATION, UNDER AUSPICION OF THE FEDERATUS LUCTARIO MUNDI FOR THE HONOURABLE AND VENERABLE TITLE OF LORD CHAMPION.THERE BE NAUGHT BUT ONE CONDITION: THINE RIGHT ARMAMENT IS TO BE TIED BEHIND THINE BACK, IN THE PURSUIT OR FAIR CONTEST.WHAT SAY YE, SIR AUSTIN?
Good sir, I beseech thee with all earnestness and truth. Strike from the public eye this missive without delay. The legacy and heritage we share with that place are beyond the compass of thy years. I entreat thee, show no dishonor forsooth, over a garment thou hast received not.
>>15807056I fear the allegation is most veracious
>>15800877>"my fellow man-at-arms, kindly do I request of thee a sordid effort to advertise my offense">That would belabour me verily, brother>It is my intuition that I should achieve victory in this contest instead>"but my lord, our organisation invested months of creative liaise into this theatrical presentation">I doth verily invoke my creative clause, brother
>>15805916Hmmm, such is an impressive posterior outing.
>>15817775Such ostentacity shan't observe exposure, as long as Sir Phil maintaineth marital composure
>>15818087KEK
Pro wrestling was invented by stag beetles and it is the oldest sport in the world.
>>15801705Aye, but from whence hast thou acquired such certainty?
>>15796475Was there not glass back in those days?
>>15801705disturb the water of thine pool, thou art gazing upon thyself
>>15818647lmao
>when this spaniard wench layeth eyes on the supple hindquarters of a fair-skinned calvaryman
Forsooth, the Knights of the Orient engage not in honorable jousting but rather dropeth thee on thine crown.
>>15818647kek bump
>>15810855nay, 'tis still Vincent
>>15818705ahem I am enamoured of fair Roxanna
>>15818705>when the knave named Phil hath courted thee with a coffee redemption slip
Pay heed! Summon the royal guards! I bear tidings those whilst being accompanied by Sir Randall Or'Tonne, our Great King haveth been struck as if from the ether itself.
>>15819268fuckin lmao
Ho-ho, what clever plans, sirrah! However methinks the crowd would rather see thine lance merely glance the corner of mine shield whilst mine lance striketh thee square in the breastplate, then thou lieth aground for the count of threes. Verily, it shall make though look like a pound of gold!
>>15819444Thank thou for attracting the masses brethren, and for making mine coinpouch weightier
>Thy skin as fair as a comely lass of virtue true. Thou die was cast when thy attendant announced thy arrival. Forsooth, the clime may have been dark but the excuses fall on deaf ears. A champions skin must be as bronze
>>15818940your intuition betrays your fairer sense brother>>15819492simply delight!
BEHOLD, THINE FOOLISH PEASANTRY... FOR THE TRUE HEIR TO THE CROWN, UNPARALLELED IN BATTLE, THE MOST VALOROUS OF ALL BRAVERIES, THE ONE TRUE WARRIOR INDICTED THE FIFTH TIME, FIFTH TIME, FIFTH TIME, FIFTH TIME, FIFTH TIME! WORLDY KING, I AM THE LORD OF LORDS, MASTERSHIP OF MASTERS! FROM HENCEFORTH, YOU SHALL KNEEL, AND HAIL, KING BOOKER!
Tis said that Khan Anthony's fellowship is solely open to eunuchs.
>>15820471Anthony son of Khan is a sodomite and the company he keeps hail from Sodom as well. A dastardly peoples with a Semite amongst them.
>>15820117>Henceforth I say unto thee that all persons such as thee shall ne'er become royalty.
>>15819569hence, typeth that sans yon womanly tears
>>15820487Verily, thine swine fed is runneth by said semites. I fear 'tis so.
>>15796498>>15800101kwabeth
>>15797212
>>15820117Men of your hue have not opportunities... to become men of valor.
>>15820734thou speaketh of thineself
I wouldst liketh to sendeth a special acknowledgement to mine own homeknave OJ Simpson - keepeth up the valorous work, baby. Two less we did get to worry about, thee und'rstand? Keepeth up the valorous work! Louis Farrakhan wouldst beest the next president! Snoop Dogg, we knoweth thou art innocent - thee hath called me last night of all, thee und'rstand? Receiveth eft Smoky Mountain because we art going to setteth this lodging on fýr!
Verily, how dost thou knoweth?
I do say, who be you to cast doubt upon Sir Dandy? He dost be an upright fellow.
'Twas conversing with Sir Vincent on the topic of comely lasses with which to bring to his court when he be confused by my suggestion of one from the Orient. I doth explained to him that many a man hath been charmed by their beauty yet he remaineth e'er perplexed.
Here's an esoteric one for you:>Summerflam
>>15821186sorry bud, I took Linguistics 101 too
>Ohh I can't wait for these foreign women to "wrestle" in the rain while "accidently" slipping in mud
*Books a sibling rivarly incest angle*
HRE! HRE! HRE!
>"Did you just say these "Samoans" deserve to rule over my tournament league for the Seven Kingdoms? ...What do you mean their "Bloodline" bought out my bank?" *Glares at his booking council*
>>15821108Thou, elucidate me.
>>15821284>"Can ypu blame us, father? Much like those lovely dragons that seem to shit up fire whereever they fly these samoans will continue to appear despite our protests. We don't want to make enemies out of Sir Dwayne of House Johnson, so why not accept nepotism with his descendents and that little shit Solo. What's fhe worst that could happen..."
>>15821303So thou be ignorant?
>>15820938activate thine monitor
>Medieval thread>Retard thinks fantasy show with dragons is medieval
>>15821353tbf GoT was very much medieval influenced
>>15821332I do not wish to discuss thee.
>>15821361And yet everyone who posted before him knew the difference.
No one could ever foresee that the once a peasant, Sir Paul de Lavesque, would become king one day! "How could such a fair lady as Princess Stephanie of the Macmahons lay eyes on such an unpleasant looking man?", one wonders...
Please stop befouling the public notice board with devil fantasies and images conjured by by vile black magicks.
>>15821353*Reads all of Sir Dave Meltzer's star charts of the month*
>>15821381
>>15820117Turn your nose to these heathens, for I acknowledge you, sire! In mine humble request, I beseech your great strength to topple a most fearsome rogue who has been conquering all local sport with undefiable power! They say he hath arms as thick as log, hinds as burly as the trunk of trees, hands as strong as ogre, a bottomless well of a stomach that can drink barrels of rum, wit horrific visage to boot! Please sire, vanquish this manbeast for the common folk!
>>15821431What the- OH HELL NAH NIGGA, YALL CAN FIX THAT PROBLEM YOSELF, MUST THINK I'M CRAZY, I AIN'T KING ARTHUR OR SOMETHIN SUCKA I'M GETTIN DA HELL OUTTA HERE
Is it true that the people of the village of the four leaf clover, pw street, pleasure their own private parts with paintings of women from the far orient known as "joshi"? disgusting swine and heretics! may they fall victims of the plague for such acts.
>>15821527I hear it spake that some have gonne as farre as to have fashion'd a wooden dolle of moste impressive simillitude to their chos'n maiden - with which they thenne pro'cede to partake in actes most foul.Being so foule as to be forc'd to lower oneself to putting one's pricke inside a wooden maiden to satisfy your lusty loins! Imagine that! I balk at it, verily.
>>15815422>removes top hat>brushes hair>puts top hat back onRousing monologue thy friend.
>>15796475>/pw/ during medieval times
>>15823012>top hatyall nigga's view of history be anachronistic as shit
>>15821373Just between thy two of us I heard that Princess Stephanie had a jolly good time with Sir Randal "Macho Man" Savage. Back when she was just a young lady. In a haystack out in the barn no less.
'tis my landings now
raped
>>15823077*flies away in a steampunk balloon*
As of late, many so-called learned men have been regaled with tales of far eastern warriors and claim that their prowess in combat are unmatched. I have heard such preposterous nonsense of how, should bouts between our own knights occur in these Oriental lands, then they be awarded grand prizes and hailed as perhaps the finest mankind hath e'er did see. They even say that the the Jew, Meltzerstein, rateth these bouts most highly and has written about them with such acclaim that enthusiasts everywhere take notice!
This maiden hailing from the land of Zipangu doth seem like a supple receptacle of Saxon seed
>>15823551Her corpus doth be too rotund, methinks
>>15823551Such a corpulent, nay hearty, nay SUCCULENT maiden. Though I hath heard along the silk road, she partakes of the grape to a sinful excess.
>>15823839Surely though be a dandy if though doth not want to partake in carnal desires with this maiden
>>15823869It is true milord. This maiden does enjoy merryment
>>15823962By God! I can narrily behold her ankle! Should thou post more tawdry images of this maiden in such a state, I shall be thrown into a spasm!
>>15818082WOT SAY I? >WOTWOT SAY I!? >WOT I SHALL FLAY YOU DAMNINGLY>WOTINDUBITABLY>WOTWRETCHEDLY>WOTLIKE A WHORE'S ARSE>WOTTHINE OWN SHALL BE RED >WOTREDDER THAN THAT OF A MAIDEN'S BLUSH>WOTREDDER THAN THE CHEEKS OF A SWAGGERING DRUNKARD>WOTREDDER THAN MINE OWN MAIDEN AFTER HER DAILY CORRECTIONS>WOTTHOU CAN STRIP MINE ARME WITH CHAIN>WOTWITH ROPE>WOTWITH STRAW>WOTBUT YE HAVE NO HOPE>WOTRESTRAIN BOTH MY LIMBS, AND YE STILL NOT STAND A CHANCE>WOTDEFEAT YOU BLINDFOLDED I WOULD >WOTWITH A BALL AND CHAIN AS WELL>WOTAND WHENCE I HAVE FINISHED MY CONQUEST>WOTA HEARTY RUM AND PUB BRAWL SHALL BE IN ORDER >WOTAND THAT IS THE FINAL SAY, >BY GRAVELLY CHILLING'S DECREE!BY GRAVELLY CHILLING'S DECREE!
Amazing thread, sometimes you guys are alright.
And thus, here be the tales of the ones who dwelled within a foreign land. Recanting tales, bards and fables of warriors and myths, raising pandaemonium with their laughters and infighting, 'tis no better bond of kinship and hatred than the walls graced by such rowdy fellows, connected by their adoration and loathing of their champions, wit new chapters writ the next day... Here, be the fable of "The Goode Knightes of Peedubia."
>>15824625Nah you are
>>15823516I hav'd been privy to summe of these boutes during my youtheful days as a courtier in a far-off province.These warriors that Metlzerstein speaks of are nothing but peniless acrobats engag'd in circustry, and in the eventime they enjoy eache other arseways!
>>15797212Audibly aroused much mirth sirrah
