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Your name is David "Gunny" Rockefeller, no relation.
A veteran of the united states marine corps, you find yourself in a far-out situation after an all-too-close encounter of the third kind!

In the last thread you secured a fortune in lost bitcoin, utilizing SHODAN's encryption-cracking prowess.
You revealed everything to your sister, who's currently trying to decide what exactly is even real or not.
And picked up an old friend, but not before dealing with a pesky federal agent who's been tailing you for some time now.
But during Agent Smith's interrogation, you seem to have happened upon a crude method of awakening someone's psychic potential.

There's a short lull now as both Redbone and Agent smith are sleeping off their psychic awakening, but it probably won't last long.
After all, there's always more trouble for you to get yourself into.

This time, on Humanity Fuck Yeah!

>Last Thread: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2024/5896153/
>All Threads: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=humanity+-+fuck+yeah%21
>Google Doc: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1rNxD6ccWY5M48dLWuTWdr5LiYLuS_YIAMKlTLw42eeo/edit#gid=0
>Discord Link: https://discord.gg/PYJ7Aa3zQF
>>
>>5943919


You slump into your seat across the table from her, while Sanig grabs a jug out of the fridge.

"What's in this stuff, anyways? It smells bitter and sweet at the same time." He comments, setting it on the table, along with a mason jar.

Cylia hears Sanig talking, but chooses to ignore it. Maybe she's tired?

"Caffeine." You tell him. "Besides that, it's just leaf juice."

"Sounds disgusting." He says, crossing his arms.

Your pour up a glass of plain sweet tea and start chugging. It's uniquely refreshing in this moment, just the taste of something sweet on your tongue...
The only way it could be better is if you'd also been sitting in a hot truck in 120F with no AC. Speaking from experience, there.

...You should really grab some horehound candies next time you get a chance.

"So... is he still alive?" Cylia asks, plucking out one of her earbuds.

You take another sip of tea. It's missing something...

"Hmm? Oh, smith? Yeah, he's fine. Both of them are, they just need to sleep off the drugs."

"Both of them...?"

"Right, well... smith may or may not have unlocked his psychic potential. I wanted to see if it was repeatable, and Redbone wanted psychic powers, so..."

"...So you drugged him up and tortured him, too?"

"Wha- no! I didn't torture either of them! I mean, not really. Gave smith a little zap to keep him awake, but definitely not torture. He actually just talked, shockingly easily."

"What did you actually do to them, then?" She asks.

"Uh... well, not much, really."

"He pumped them full of enough drugs to kill a hundred aliens and then shoved a wraith corpse in their faces." Sanig explains.

Cylia raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything.

"Hey, they're human. Like i said, they're fine. High enough to see the face of god, but otherwise fine." You assure her.

"If you say so." She sighs. "I'm just glad there wasn't much screaming this time."

Cylia pulls out her other earbud and sets them both on the table. You faintly hear what she's listening to, something from earth, but it isn't something you immediately recognize.
https://youtu.be/A2hUEe0A5H0

"...Watcha listenin' to?" You ask.

"I'm not sure. It's something SHODAN recommended."

"Sounds nice." You comment, bringing one of the earbuds close enough to hear.

"This shithole actually has a ton of great art. I'm honestly shocked." Sanig adds. "Maybe it's all the drugs, huh?"

You snort.

"Yeah, that's probably part of it. But they say the best art comes from a place of hurt, so... what better than a death world, right?"

"I guess." He shrugs.

It's true of a lot of things, actually. Pain drives people to change, and to act, more than anything.
Whether it's mental or physical, it can be the catalyst for all sorts of change.

Your mind turns back to Redbone. You wonder why exactly he wanted so badly to jump straight into something like that, even though all of this is brand new to him.
He's always been quick to act and slow to think, but he wasn't completely reckless.
>>
>>5943920

It takes about ten or twenty minutes before you start feeling good again, after chugging half a gallon of sweet tea.
Sanig took interest after you drank so much of it, so you ran a glass of it through the medical fab to remove the caffeine, at least to a level he could survive.

He actually ended up liking it, so now there's a jug of decaffeinated tea in the fridge as well.
You're gonna need a bigger fridge at some point... but there's really no room for it on this ship.

Maybe you could use the cryopods as a freezer...? No, that's stupid.

In any case, after a while you decide you should probably update Redbone's boys on what's happened.
They aren't shocked in the slightest, and most of them seem to have stood down from high alert and are now just chilling around the ship.

You end up bringing them a big pot of coffee to keep them warm while you wait on Redbone to wake up.
It doesn't look like the drugs are leaving his system anytime soon, though.

The real problem is what to do with agent smith, though.
You're interested in possibly maintaining a positive relationship with the US government, but you aren't sure how you feel about letting smith go.

One thing you do know is where and when he's supposed to check in.

It's actually about time for the check-in, so if you wanted to make direct contact, now would be the time.

>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.
>Go to the social security office and make his check-in for him. No better way to make sure you're in contact with the right people.
>Keep smith locked up for now, and make contact remotely. You're certain SHODAN can contact whoever she wants from anywhere.
>Write-In?
>>
>remote
>use a tacky batman voice changer. Or the SAW one
>>
>>5943921
>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.
We could let him go on the international space station, as a good will gesture but also as a we mean business gesture
>>
>>5943921
>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.
>Have shodan hack the Cia directors phone. Let's have a chat mate. Oh we need a conference call sure add the president.

>Shodan check everyone for corruption and illegal activities. Publish it on YouTube and put it b on the front page of the online newspapers with the evidence.

Time to purge the corruption out of the government boys.
>>
>>5943940 voting for this
>>
>>5943955
What is the point of destabilizing your gringo country? Without any leaders prepared you don't come, create a power vacuum and leave for the stars
>>
>>5943921
>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.

Give him some contact info as well, SHODAN can set up a secure email account or something.
>>
>>5943940
This. Let the glowies know we are not to be trifled with.
>>
>>5943921
>Go to the social security office and make his check-in for him. No better way to make sure you're in contact with the right people.
>>
>>5943990
He's going to end up like Yuri from red alert isn't he?
The psychic puppet master but this time behind the USA.
>>
>>5943921
>Keep smith locked up for now, and make contact remotely. You're certain SHODAN can contact whoever she wants from anywhere.
>>
>>5943990
+1
>>5943921
>Write-In?
Show Cylia the music video version of the song. its baller.
https://youtu.be/60ruvzfXQoE?si=8rTSajXEThYUiSb0

You actually listen to GUNSHIP Cock or did you pick something at random?
>>
>>5943921
>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.

Go forth our Yuri, Free the Space Force of disgusting Alien influence.
>>
>>5944162
It's one i like, yeah.
>>
gunship has some good shit not gonna lie
blood for the blood god is smashing
>>
>>5944177
May i suggest Dance with the Dead and Dan Terminus?
https://youtu.be/Zv1FyQn2kQA?si=y2sG7vBm0GrQsKuA
https://youtu.be/KjrKrvF7JDA?si=US5pTScflOjhHgCA
And if you are one of those guys, Com Truise
https://youtu.be/yergWdn968o?si=CXaZOiCRN-UnM2Py
>>
>>5943921
>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.
preferably fix his eye as well, it helps in the long run to show signs of goodwill and all of that.
>>
>>5944176
more likely, now that the spooks know getting psychic powers is possible, this will reactivate the ol' MK ULTRA project
>>
>>5943921
>Make contact remotely.
>>
>>5944311
Like, posturing is a damn important part of diplomacy, so much so with a organization hell bent on perpetuating itself... mmm false flags so letting smith go with a smile and hoping for the best is so stupid it breaks David's character, for he knows how the letter agencies work.
>I have your guy. I know he is disposable but I am not killing him yet and I want to reach an agreement.
>>
>>5943921
>Keep Smith locked up for now, and make contact remotely. You're certain SHODAN can contact whoever she wants from anywhere.
>>
>>5943990
+1
>>
>>5943921
>Pull a Suicide Squad and implant a bomb in his skull. Give Shodan the remote.

Dank tunes, Cochrane.
>>
>>5943921
>Write-In?
Take him with us.
>"You've just been transferred to the Earth Defense Force, son! Here's your complementary augments and a knock-off 1911. Up and at 'em, hero!"
>>
>>5943921
>>5943940
I like this.
>>
>>5943921

You sit around for a while, thinking it over.
It would probably be best to just patch smith up and let him go back on his own.

But you still need to send a message, to remind them that you're not someone to be fucked with.

"Hey, SHODAN? How are we doing on dark matter and energy?" You ask.

["Reserves are sitting at 35%, Captain."]

"How much would it cost us to get back into orbit?"

["Approximately 3%. It will take 25% of our reserves to make it back to Xebric."]

Alright, so you're a little low on gas, but it's still affordable.

"So, i have kind of a dumb idea... but i think it would be funny."

...

.....

...

Some time later, after giving smith the best medical treatment you could manage, you find yourself stuffing his unconscious body into a spacesuit with a small rocket-propelled drone strapped to his back.
A short while later, you kick him out of the airlock and into low earth orbit.

SHODAN, taking control of the drone on his back, fires a monopropellant rocket that kicks him into a collision course with the international space station.
When he gets close, she'll slow him down and make sure he's placed somewhere visible.

You, meanwhile, have a call to make.

"NA1SS, NA1SS. Sierra, Hotel, Oscar, Delta, Alfa, November."

You repeat yourself a good ten times or so before someone finally picks up.

["SHODAN, NA1SS has you loud and clear. Welcome aboard."]

"It's not me that needs welcomed aboard, ISS. You might want to check the cupola, you've got an unexpected visitor."

["...Sorry, can you repeat?"]

"I repeat, you have a visitor, ISS. Take a look out of your cupola."

The radio goes silent for over two minutes before you get a radio back.

["Who is this?"] They ask.

"Agent smith has about eight hours of oxygen in that suit, might want to bring him in."

["Oh my god. Are you kidding me?"]

You hear several voices clamoring in the background as you turn off your radio and lean back in your pilot's seat, awaiting the toasty glow of re-entry as you come down over the atlantic.
Yeah, you're feeling pretty good about this one. You stapled a post-it note with various contact details to his chest, so they should be able to ring you up whenever.

Not on your personal phone, naturally. It'll be some random number or computer somewhere in the world.

It's really beautiful, you know. Watching the gentle blue light of the atmosphere give way to the angry orange glow of the air compressing around you, and your ship's ceramic armor heating to a glow.
You feel yourself being pressed into your seat as the ship slows down, and slowly fall into a glide as you reach the lower atmosphere.

However, you can't land in the water. You're pretty sure salt isn't good for the engines, so you end up entering supercruise below a certain altitude.
It takes less than a minute, even at such a minimal speed, to make it back home.

Or rather, back to a random field outside of Columbus, Ohio.
>>
Lol, lmao.
This stunt was a fraction of our resources but it will be millions to take him back down and a hard to measure amount to cover this up.

Imagine if the iss dudes tweet about this, heck with pictures...
>>
>>5944840
>You stapled a post-it note with various contact details to his chest
Please tell me we didn't literally fucking staple it to his pressurized suit.
Either way, my god am I chuckling too hard.
>>
>>5944858
No, you stapled it to his chest.
With a stapler.
>>
>>5944861
...I'm just gonna assume David was very careful in doing so. Unless we accidentally sent the ISS a frozen TV dinner instead of a lightly scuffed fed.
>>
>>5944840
Fucking amazing.
>>
>>5944865
Not the chest of the space suit. The chest of the angent, either his flesh or his clothes under the space suit.
>>
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>>5944861
>>5944865
OH YOU MEAN HIS BARE FUCKING CHEST
>>
>>5944850
>"So I was looking out on another beautiful sunrise on the ISS and THIS GUY was just out there. Space is wild."
>>
>>5944840
Did we regrow/ repair his eye?

Also may wanna warn him he's psychic now and demons are real. Psychic ability means
1: government might dissect him
2: demons are attracted to him now

Are these true statements? Not entirely. But it'll be fun
>>
>>5944946
Pretty sure we forgot to mention Gunny's Eye and Dental package to him.
If he becomes our liaison with the Feds, I'm sure we can still offer him a new eye down the line.
>>
>>5944946
>2: demons are attracted to him now
My man the ruinous powers sare not real
>>
>>5944952
My guy, we've seen Hell and that shit may as well just be the Warp. They might be real in some capacity.
>>
>>5944955
I think the... dungeon dimension we travel through in hyper space is not where dark matter demons live, rather one dimension they use... i wonder if my conjecture is right and the hell the big fella came from is a separate space and not hyperspace... unmo maaaan
>>
>>5944946

No, you'd need treatment at a proper hospital for that, and there may be some difficulty culturing the cells of an unknown species.
Bionics are an alternative, but again, nobody's ever put one in a human before.

However, the burn will heal quickly and without scarring of the skin.
He may be able to get an artificial lens put into place, as the burns don't go too deep.
>>
>>5944840

You stretch out your legs as you watch the ship touch down, this time in a barren field far from a highway.
There's really nothing to see from horizon to horizon except for dirt and cornstalks, except for a couple of wind turbines in the distance.

With nothing much to do for the moment, you decide to think about what you'll be cooking for the crew's meal today.

Something non-toxic would be good, you think.
Beef and broccoli, maybe?

"SHODAN, is there anything toxic for the crew in beef and broccoli?"

["Besides the amount of sodium in onions sauce? No, Captain."]

"Thanks."

Making your way to the kitchen, you find your pantry severely lacking.
Not just spices, but in beef and veg in general.

"Shit, i wish we could just... print our food out on the fab." You grumble to yourself.

["You can."] SHODAN informs you.

"...What?"

["So long as you know the exact chemical makeup and physical structure of a food item, it is possible to print it on the nanofab. However, it's nearly impossible to print all but the smallest of living creatures."]

"Oh my god." You utter.

["...Captain?"]

"Computer. Tea, earl grey. Hot."

["Really?"]

You remain silent as you powerwalk towards the workshop where the weapons fab is located.
By the time you arrive, the fab is already working, and Kyla seems curious as to what you're doing.

"You printing something, hun?" She asks.

You stare intently down at the output chamber of the fab as a beautiful, milky white porcelain cup with a fine gold rim appears out of a cloud of silvery glitter.

["You will need to add some water to the materials chamber, Captain."]

Your brow twitches, but you grab a bottle of water off Kyla's workbench and toss it into the bin.

"Hey, i was drinking that!" Kyla complains.

After a momentary delay, the fab starts back up and the cup fills with a wonderfully aeromatic tea.
The cup hangs in midair, waiting for you to take it. And you do.

You thrust your pinky out and sip your tea daintily, smacking your lips to enhance the flavor.

"...Yeah, i prefer iced tea." You conclude. "Shit, so close to perfection."

["I should warn you, Captain. This fabricator is not tuned for chemical reproduction. There will be a minimal degree of inaccuracy when it comes to the chemical structure of anything made in it."]

"Yeah, i figured. But like, how bad exactly? If i print a steak, is it gonna be inedible?"

["Unlikely, anything toxic should be detectable. However, there may be a slight off flavor due to contaminants as a result of inaccurate construction."]

"What about the chemical fab?" You ask.

["It could reproduce most foodstuffs with near 100% accuracy, however, it's capacity is much lower. Despite being faster at reproducing chemicals, it will be slower overall when creating large batches."]

"...What if we do the bulk of printing in this fab, then correct any errors in the chemical fab?"
>>
>>5945653

["As long as both fabricators are utilizing the same blueprint, it would work."] SHODAN confirms.

Your face lights up after hearing that.
Blueprints, you need blueprints.

"...Can we can a steak into this sumbitch?" You ask.

["Through a destructive scan, yes. Few of the compounds and structures found on earth are likely to be copyrighted."] She confirms.

"Oh my god." You drool.

>Go out immediately and get some of the highest quality produce and spices you can find.
>Maybe check in on your sister first. It'd be nice to grab the SUV again while you're at it.
>Wait here for Redbone to wake up, for now. You're in no hurry to make dinner.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5945654
>>Go out immediately and get some of the highest quality produce and spices you can find.

Rule 7: If the food is good enough, the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire
>>
>>5945654
>Go out immediately and get some of the highest quality produce and spices you can find.
>Maybe check in on your sister first. It'd be nice to grab the SUV again while you're at it.
I'm reasonably sure we can do both in short order. Besides, we're gonna need the SUV to haul any appreciable amount of shit back to the ship.
>>
>>5945654
>Maybe check in on your sister first. It'd be nice to grab the SUV again while you're at it.
>>
>>5945654
>>Write in
>>DO NOT DO THIS SHIT THAT AMOUNTS TO AI GENERATED ART
>>
>>5945799
I don't think you understand what you're talking about OR why AI is shit. If it's almost identical to real food on the atomic level, it's just food. Doesn't matter if a 3D printer shat it out.
>>
>>5945654
>>Maybe check in on your sister first. It'd be nice to grab the SUV again while you're at it.
Then
>Go out immediately and get some of the highest quality produce and spices you can find.
>>
>>5945802
but it lacks the sweat and blood that comes from food that is GROWN. We are one click away from corpse starch
>>
>>5945799
Is a printed copy of the Mona Lisa AI art?
>>5945915
>printed steak that's a 1-1 copy of the original
>almost corpse starch
my man think more star trek and less 40k
>>
>>5945915
>but it lacks the sweat and blood that comes from food that is GROWN.
Just because there wasn't any physical labor or metabolic processes involved in its production doesn't NECCESSARILY means it's of a lower quality. You're already kinda disconnected from all that stuff anyways if you get your shit from a supermarket.
Anyways, if you can emulate all those things NEAR PERFECTLY on an ATOMIC LEVEL, it's about as "real" as real food can get.
>>
>>5945932
it's not about the quality it's about the SOVL
>>
>>5945915
i mean, the normal food cycle is corpse starch stretched through several steps. this just cuts out the unnecessary bullshit
>>
>>5945951
Processed and minced meats like salamis, burger meat, and all the variants of those don't have any recognisable animal components left.
Hams are sometimes served as part of a pig's shoulder on the bone, so there's that, but you're not eating the bone. Instead the common solution was to make a soup from boiling the bone as stock to minimise waste. Meanwhile the nano printer ensures there is no waste ever -except whatever atoms escape as vapours? It's probably using the sewerage of the crew as feedstock

>>5945654
If David is up and running then
>Maybe check in on your sister first. It'd be nice to grab the SUV again while you're at it.
Find some chateaubriand, tomahawks, pastrami, jerky and the rest.
Amazing possibilities right here
>>
>>5945654
>>Go out immediately and get some of the highest quality produce and spices you can find.

We've at least got to try it. Imagine if we can print real cinnamin and saffron.
>>
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH, THROW THE FUCKING BURGERS, CHICKEN NUGGETS, STEAKS, TBONES,BEER,DR PEPPER AND FUCKING ROOT BEER IN THERE!!!
>>
>>5943919
hi deevee nealis, how is bleu your tranny sister?
>>
>>5945654
Time to pirate a cow

Or at least tea leaves
>>
>>5946122
Tasty options for the crew too like venison, chicken, and seafood.
>>
>>5946122
>YOU WOULDN'T DOWNLOAD A HORSE
>[grunge music riff]
>>
>>5946122
>>
>>5946152
>>
>>5946402
The fuck, why is my image not going through?
>>
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>>5946404
Only straight people have image posting perms
>>
>>5945654

You consider things for a moment.
Just a moment, though.

"Gonna need the SUV." You decide.

"For what...?" Kyla asks.

"Food. Lots of food." You declare.

You grab your bike out of the cargo bay on the other side of the ship and immediately begin sprinting into town at full speed.
You nearly slip once or twice on the dirt road since you've got street tires on this thing, but you manage to keep it under control.

Unlike out in Chillicothe, folks here ain't so amused to see someone biking on the highway, nor on the city streets.
You do manage to make it back to your sister's house without getting run over, however, and your SUV is waiting in her driveway when you get there.

Your sister, who seems to have just gotten off work, jumps at the sound of her front door slamming open.
The house smells like warmed-over thanksgiving dinner.

"Welcome back, Captain." SHODAN greets you.

"Hey." You greet back with a huff.

"Uhg, gross... you're soaked with sweat. How did you even get here?" Your sister asks.

"Biked it. Everything good here, i assume?"

"Yeah?" Sam replies. "Should i be worried that it won't be?"

"Ah, nah... probably not. We'll deal with it if it happens, so don't worry about it."

"So it could happen."

"Yes, Sam. It could happen. And like i said, we'll take care of it. Now, how is mom? Is she doing any better?"

"I dunno." Sam sighs. "She said she was feeling a little rough today, and SHODAN said she'd been coughing, but she looks more energetic to me."

"A result of her system being cleansed of arterial blockages and tar." SHODAN clarifies. "Her condition will improve over time."

You hear the sound of your mother hacking something up all the way from her bedroom. Her cough is definitely full of phlegm, which in this case you reckon is a good thing.

"Well, that's good." You reply with a slight grin. "Hopefully she'll be up and running around in no time."

The looks on both Sam and SHODAN's faces don't inspire confidence, but you believe that it's possible.
If meds alone won't do it, then... you'll figure something out. If and when.

You clear your throat.

"Anyways. I came here to grab the car. SHODAN already knows why, but i think it's good news for everyone, honestly."

"I could use some of that." Sam grumbles.

"Alright, so you know how i talked about the nanofabricators we got on the ship?"

"Yeah, sorta..."

"What if i told you we could print as much wagyu as you could eat?"

"...Shut up."

"Whole pre-cooked meals, even, practically for free."

"Well shit, what the hell are we waiting for?!" Sam demands, throwing her shoes back on and heading for the door.

"Well that's the thing. We can make whatever we want, but we gotta scan it first. Or, well... if it's simple enough we could probably just make it, but it wouldn't taste quite right. Needs all those little natural details."

"So, what? Grocery store?"

"Grocery store." You confirm.

"...There's this whole foods in town that has all the good shit." Sam informs you.
>>
>>5946406
Im not a faggot, it just keeps acting like I have incognito mode running when its not.
>>
>>5946472
>"So it could happen."
considering now russia, china, the europeans and whoever else has astronauts on the ISS now know of mr john smith, yeah, something will definitely happen
>>
>>5946626
Half of the world's population being is for rides into space?
You know, dropping a few dozen celebrities (modern day court jesters) off at the ISS and watching the resulting chaos worldwide would probably be pretty funny.
>>
>>5946472
Why stop at just whole foods, when I'm sure there's a smokehouse in town too? Or a Chinese restaurant because they're literally everywhere?

>>5946626
Plus taking over the entire cryptocurrency and maybe financial network, because both are easy as shit for SHODAN. Or a detected launch and landing craft that would make Musk greener than Ireland with envy. Many reasons for planting a target on ourselves here.
>>
>>5947155
>Or a Chinese restaurant
Unless it's in the local China Town, it's PROBABLY dogshit.
Now the small scale Korean places however, those are usually hidden gems.
>>
>>5946472

"Alright, i got a few places in mind too, but..."

"What's up?" Sam asks.

You pull out your rapidly dwindling stack of bills.

"I'm getting low on cash, so i don't know how far we'll get on this little grocery run." You inform her.

Sam pulls her wallet out of her purse and digs out a VISA card.
She stares at it with a look that holds a mixture of fear, frustration and longing.

"David, you said we're filthy rich after next week, right?"

"Oh, total 1% territory." You assure her.

She grips that credit card just a bit more tightly between her fingers.

"Fuck it, then. Let's go."

You grin from ear to ear. That's exactly what you were hoping to hear.
Sam is eager to rush out the door, but you take a few moments to visit your mother and give her a hug and kiss before heading out.

With the promise of some good food upon your return, she seems plenty happy to let you go with just a short visit.

What follows next is a hell of a shopping trip, in which you max out both of your sister's credit cards.
You purchase all of the highest-quality meat and produce you can find, selecting just one of two of the absolute best specimens you can get your hands of for each item.

After all, whatever you select now is what will be replicated after scanning. If you pick a carrot that's slightly bitter or has a bit of a bruise, they'll all be like that.

So everything has to be absolutely perfect.
Perfectly ripe fruit, perfectly fresh bread, perfectly marbled meat and so-on. Price is no object, of course.

You end up grabbing a whole rack of ribs, a giant slab of pork belly, a really nice whole chicken, and as luck would have it, the butcher at the local whole foods had some A4 japanese wagyu in stock.
Of course, you also grabbed every cut of regular beef you could find, including things like lower-quality steaks and ground beef, just to have the template.

Next on the list was spices. Naturally, you grabbed one of everything and dumped it into the buggy.
Everything from fresh basil and ginger to oyster sauce, tamarind and sumac, you even found jars of vegemite and cuttlefish ink somewhere along the way.

You don't return until late in the night to drop your sister off back at her house, along with some high-quality steaks.
SHODAN knows all of your recipes, so she'll be able to copy your cooking for them.

You however, need to get this carload of groceries back to the ship while they're still as fresh as possible.
Even the back seats are filled to the point you can't actually see out of your rearview mirror.

The bike... there's nowhere to shove the bike in, so you have to strap it to the roof rack.

Through SHODAN, you inform the crew of your imminent arrival, and the fact that you'll need help unloading groceries.
Not to the mess, but to the workshop.

Kyla and Cylia are waiting outside the ship when you arrive, but it still takes quite a few trips to get everything in.
>>
>>5947218
Oh man if they thought the barbeque smelled good, they're about to cum when they step into that workshop.
>>
>>5947229
Don't tempt Kyla, she'd be down to mix sauces like that.
>>
Let's make sure there aren't any sauces that delete their livers or their kidneys please... like mint being toxic to rabbits and so on
>>
>>5947218
>weed
>Dmt
>Ayahuasca
>pcp

Can we hack the banking system and drain a bunch of corrupt peoples accounts to 0. And redistribute it to the poors?
>>
Finally, the solution to "nothing in the fridge."

Honestly, I'm thinking about the crew's nutritional needs. We could isolate flavor molecules and more evenly distribute fat molecules to get more flavor for less fat and maybe even experiment with more healthy mediums to be the carriers of these flavors. Reduce trans fats and replace them with equally flavorful healthy fats. perhaps blending protein types in new and novel ways to construct an optimal mox for gains or even new flavor/texture combos. Imagine if we could create something delicious like bacon or shrip but healthy and altogether completely original and unlike anything tasted before.

Potentially veggie burgers that actually taste good... or even great. Has science gone too far?
>>
>>5947284
We don't have a rabbit girl....yet.
>>
>>5947326
that would help the crew... they are taking so much drugs to cope with the absurd calories that, weww
>>
>>5947314
That would go nowhere expect back to the parasites, better to create shell organizations to fight them, they can't stand under actual competition.
>>
>>5947533
creating a couple of companies ON EVERY COUNTRY sounds like a good idea... giving good pay to its workers and having a supremely optimized system that avoids waste!!! Stuff like having three accountants when you just need one or ensuring there are no erratic deliveries so you always need two truckers and you don't have to hire seven extra drivers because of odd orders.

Companies that give good pay and are marginally profitable... and they all buy and sell to one another but authorities do not have evidence to realize this is a planet wide operation... so good... we seize the means of production by buying out the competition, without them realizing WHAT is buying them and in a few years... alright we have our game plan, SHODAN code a virtual intelligence right now
>>
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>>5947327
>have rabbit girl
>is eaten by cat
HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?!
>>
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Okay I watched twenty (20) seconds of the first ep and I am HOOKED.

It gives you SO. MUCH. INFO. in twenty seconds... how ships work, how they use thrusters to leave the atmosphere, how they use ROGGETS and are maneuverable and have graspers that they wrestle with and 10mm chainguns for close quarters...

and the pilot has a eyepiece headset that feeds info straight to their optic nerve and the OS andso on so on...
>>
>>5947579
Yeah man, Outlaw Star is a classic for a reason.
>>
>>5947675
>a classic for a reason
The babe?
>>
>>5947579
Outlaw Star is fucking great. One thing, if you watch the English Dub, there is one episode they left out, one which contains some important info, because it was too steamy. So make sure you watch that one subbed, since it was never released in English.

For the time period, the dub actually stands up really fucking well.

>>5947760
The aesthetics. The action. The characters. It is by no means perfect and some episodes are notably stronger than others but it really is a feel.
>>
>>5947218

"So... what exactly is all this stuff?" Cylia asks, after removing her helmet and setting it aside.

She gestures around at the sea of paper and plastic bags laid out on the floor.

"This... is the future." You declare.

Digging through a certain paper bag, you pull out a slab of finely marbled A4 wagyu.
You actually prefer this quality over A5 because it has more meat, more structure... A5 is just pure fat, and while that's certainly an experience, you can hardly call it a steak.

A4 has more substance, and it's also easier to cook with.

If you asked Cylia though, it just looks like a damn good steak.
She stares at it in your hand with such intensity that you're afraid she might bite off a finger.

"Watch this." You say, cutting the packaging open with your pocket knife and pulling the steak out.
You gently place it into the output chamber of the fabricator and take a few steps back.

"What are you...?" Cylia starts to ask, when you give the order.

"SHODAN, initiate scanning sequence!"

["Affirmative, Captain."]

The steak floats gently up into the air, where it's covered over by the usual cloud of silvery nanomachines, and slowly disappears.
Very slowly, actually. Much slower than printing anything, even things that the nanofab isn't designed for. It takes a solid ten minutes for the steak to disintegrate.

["Scanning complete, Captain. Blueprinting successful."]

Curious as to the results, you open up the printer's material bay and find a small plastic bottle full of water, along with a block of graphite and some tiny metallic beads that weren't there before.

"Oh, wow. So these are the raw materials, huh?"

"I preferred it as a steak." Kyla comments.

"Me too." Cylia agrees.

"Well, this is the real test, isn't it then? SHODAN, do it." You order, closing the bay.

["Printing now, Captain."]

...It's slow. Something of this size made of metal would have been done in thirty seconds or so, but it takes seven whole minutes to print a steak.
Still, seven minutes. That's all. You could hardly microwave a fuckin' pot pie in that time.

And what do you have at the end? Well...

You pull the finished product out of the output chamber and look it over.
Same color. No brown spots or anything, and... it's not like you memorized the marbling pattern, but it looks the same to you.

You give it a sniff. Honestly, smells exactly the same to you.
Same texture, same temperature, everything seems the same.

You cut off a thin slice with your pocket knife and pop it into your mouth.

"Eugh, disgusting!" Cylia recoils. "David, that's raw meat! Won't you get sick?!"

You shrug at her and start chewing.
Oh yeah, that's a good flavor. Maybe... maybe there's a slight muskiness to it that's a bit odd?

It's very minor, hard for you to tell at all, really. Maybe it'll get worse after cooking, or maybe it'll disappear entirely, who knows.
But if you put this into any sort of dish, it would be completely covered, you're sure of that.
>>
What happened when the nanofab scanned dead wraiths? Did it trigger dark matter warnings? I honestly can't remember
>>
>>5948392
The wraiths are made of dark matter, which the fabs can't handle.
They just error out when you try scanning them.
>>
>>5947780
>if you watch the english dub
stopped reading there
>>
>>5948402
Got it, yeah figures...
Can't David watch some youtube tutorials on hide tanning, practice with some cows and then give it a go with the wraiths? I bet he can make a kickass leather jacket. Groovy
>>
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If he fails and ends up with too little leather he can make pic related instead
>>
>>5948441
Kyla would demand he wear it all the time, and Cylia would freak out or get horny. Maybe both.
>>
>>5947326
i mean, as long as we make their meals within their caloric range and filling, we can feed them pretty much anything
>Potentially veggie burgers that actually taste good
to be fair, they have tasted good for almost a decade. the problem is that most people are only shown the shitty ones that taste bad
>>
>>5948226
Should probably do some before and after testing.
Honestly, with such technology, there is no reason not to have entire cooked meals, fresh off to stove/grill/oven, scanned.
Kidnap the world's best chefs, drug them up so they think they are dreaming, then have them compete in a cook-off against each other (scan the results and have the "dream" end there), put them back to sleep and back into their own beds.
With luck, their competitiveness and desire to know how they stack up against each other would have them do the event for real (and not wonder whether the "dream" was actually real).
>Hmm, I would like this dish tonight... but who should it be cooked by...?
>>
>>5948560
i think that's gonna be a problem because most meals are served hot, not at room temperature. obviously this is sci fi tech, but im guessing that all the stuff that comes from the fabricator is at room temp, so its still better to cook it ourselves
>>
>>5948642
I'm sure we could get it hot out of the fab with a little adjustment.
>>
Imagine you made preium meals, run them back through the fab to remove all the moisture and foil/platic back them Mountain House style with a perfect vacuum seal, perfectly sterile. Best imagineable military rations. No charms.
>>
>>5948657
But rehydration makes stuff soggy...
>>
>>5948684
The soggy meatloaf is still better than the best lasagna parm MRE fresh out the bag
>>
>>5948226

["Captain, i believe it would be safer to taste test the meat after it has been scanned for imperfections."]

"Yeah, probably. Anyways, it looks like it works. There's a very, very slight off taste, but... it's hardly noticeable at all."

You toss the steak back into the fab, where it rapidly disintegrates.
That's one great thing about fabricators, no matter what they're geared towards creating, the destruction part is always quick.

Actually, that's kind of terrifying in the context of grey goo now that you think about it.

"...David." Cylia urges, tugging on your shirt.

You turn to her and see drool dripping from her mouth.
Her eyes are slightly bloodshot, and she looks kinda pissed.

"...Oh, sorry. Uh. Let me just..."

After printing another steak out you give it a quick run through the chemical fab, which takes all of fifteen seconds and completely corrects the flavor.
You take the time to pan fry it for the crew to share, after which you get back to work scanning in the various food items you've bought.

What's interesting is that the more items you scan, the faster it seems to go.
According to SHODAN, that's because the fab is storing data about all the chemicals it's detecting for the first time, as well as repeating patterns in the physical structure of certain items.

So, algorithmic bullshit, you guess.
Whatever the case, after scanning one kind of meat, the next one goes a little quicker, and so-on.

Some things go real quick though, like the sodas. It's mostly just water, sugar and a few flavorings after all.
One problem you notice right away though is the water.

There's so much water in food, it keeps filling up the materials bay and has to be removed.

Jugs and jugs of the stuff.

Eventually you also have to remove blocks of graphite and some very dense plastic as well.
Apparently the ship's hydrogen storage tank rapidly filled up, so the only way to store it is as blocks of plastic.

That's fine, though. Honestly, you'd rather store it as plastic than an incompressible and highly flammable gas.

It takes you hours to get through everything piled up on the floor, but eventually it's done.
You have most everything you'd use day to day scanned in, and most of your favorite ingredients as well.

Almost anything you'd need to make everything, although for many items you bought smaller packets and bottles so you could stuff the car even more.
But making custom bottles for everything is no problem. You'll probably also make some edits to the food itself, like replacing corn syrup with a mixture of mostly complex sugars and some glucose.

You also give SHODAN the suggestion to have the fab store the carbon as diamond rather than graphite, since it tends to rub off and make a mess... but she claims it'll make printing times slower.
Whatever, a little carbon never hurt nobody, you guess.

It's damn near 2AM before you finally stuff the last ball of plastic bags into the fab and hit the sack.
You're exhausted, but excited.
>>
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she's perfect, bros...
Captha KYAA
>>
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she said "Nyaniii?" so cute
>>
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why is she so pathetic...
>>
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>>5949149
>carbon dust all over the place
Electronics

>electrician screaming intensifies<
>>
>>5949201
Pencils in space, brother.
>>
SHODAN, turn up the air filters to eleven thank you
>>
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holy shit
>>
>>5949215
small amount of pencil lead is not the same thing as a mass of powdered graphite.
>>
>>5949494
It depends entirely on how long you are writing for.
>>
You retards. We can generate gravity fields on this ship. The carbon won't go flying everywhere like on a primitive human spaceship.
>>
>>5949149

The following morning, you wake up with Cylia and Kyla by your sides.
They're still sleeping, so you have to wiggle your way out down the middle.

...Oh.

Well, you thought it was morning.
It turns out the two of them were just taking their aftertoon nap, and you've been asleep for... twelve hours?

Well, you were a little tired.

That's fine, though. Today is meal prep day, so everything's good.
You start off your morning by having SHODAN print you an espresso maker, then making a single cup of espresso and promptly shoving both of them back into the fabricator.

Then you print yourself a new cup of espresso based on the first one.

Feeling sufficiently charged up, you then print out two steaks and a couple other items, then run everything through the chemical fab for purity.
One steak is for breakfast, the other is for meal prep.

With one steak in a cast-iron pan greased with peanut oil (perfect for searing due to it's high smoke point) you carefully season the second with flakes of sea salt, then garlic powder and coarse black pepper.
While that's dry brining, you finish up searing your breakfast steak and allow it to rest with a fat pat of irish butter slowly melting on top of it.

Into a bowl goes, flour, salt, sugar, baking soda, cold butter and just a pinch of pepper.
You knead the butter and dry ingredients together like a pie crust before adding in the buttermilk and making a thick dough, which you fold into layers.

Using the lid of a mason jar, you cut out a dozen biscuits and roll the rest of the dough up into a ball, which goes into the fab.
The biscuits themselves go into the oven, and right before they're done you baste the tops with butter to help them brown up, before throwing them in the fab.

Then into the same pan goes the thick-cut, hickory smoked bacon, which you slowly fry up until it's super brown and crispy, then drizzle with dark maple syrup.
The bacon goes straight into the fab, and then you quickly make up some sunny side up eggs, which also get tossed into the fab.

By now your breakfast steak has finished resting, and guess what? It goes into the fab.

And finally, you use the bacon grease to make some nice, homemade gravy.

"Flour goes in... black pepper, salt..." You mumble.

About this time, Cylia wanders into the mess hall, yawning as she stretches her arms over her head.

"What's going on...?" She asks groggily. "Where's all the food?"

"Juuuuust a minute, sweetie. It'll be done soon." You promise.

As the flour in the pan turns golden brown, you drizzle in milk until the gravy thins out just enough to run, and pour it off into a mason jar.
Which you immediately run off and shove into the fab, chuckling to yourself like a madman.

This is it. Finally, you never have to cook again. At least, never more than once for a particular item.
The truth is, you don't want to cook. You want to eat. It just so happens that the only way to eat good food, is to cook it yourself.
>>
>>5949781
The only downside of all this is that we may be inadvertently laying the groundwork for a lot of these recipes to be copywritten. Not by us mind you, but by third party alien shitheels inside the Federation.
I'm going to be incredibly annoyed when the wider Galaxy thinks a near perfect copy of David's favorite steak was an invention of Blorpo Foodstuffs Incorporated or some shit.
>>
>>5949833
Also while thinking about this I realized something. We could probably tune the fabs to screen for nanites and other nasty shit the Feds might spike supplies with. That'd take a load off my mind personally, even if it would be a bit tedious to screen everything that comes from Federation space.
>>
>>5949781
Don't sear with plant-based oils if you value your health. Use Ghee. Smoke point 250*C.
>>
>>5949781
>We need to get some cochise from Peru.

Aka the good stuff.

>Ha you thought caffeine was a rush try this white lightning.
>>
>>5949781
Interesting implications for other valuable biological substances, such as blue lobsters, eggs, embryos, (cloned) organs/limbs/etc. for transplant purposes, ivory, rare timber, and horse semen.
>>
>>5950280
in theory we can create a clone of ourselves this way. of course, we'd have to "die" before the cloning happens
>>
>>5949781

As you stand there giggling to yourself, watching a hot, fresh breakfast appear right before your eyes, you suddenly hear something.

[What the hell, something smells good. Wait, where am i again...?]

Oh, damn. That's right, Redbone...

[Gunny! Come untie me from this fuckin' table fore' i bust loose and whoop your ass!]

[Alright, alright. I'm coming.] You think back to him.

[Wait, shit! You heard that?! IS IT WORKING?!]

"Goddamn, not so loud!" You yell down the hall as you walk over to the medbay, where Redbone is still laying.

"Did you hear me?!" Red yells, trying to look back at you from the table.

"Yes, damn it. Congratulations, you're magic. Or psychic, or whatever."

"Fuck yeah!" He cheers, pumping his right arm as you loosen the belt on it.

You continue releasing his straps, and he groans as he sits up. He's been laying on a flat, stainless steel table for the better part of a day, after all.

[You sure it works?] He thinks at you.

"Yes, Red. I'm sure. Don't use it too much or you'll tire yourself out. I almost had a sugar crash yesterday after... well, a bunch of bullshit now that i think about it. But the telepathy contributed, that's for sure."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hey, what smells so good? Are we having breakfast? Is there any left?"

"Oh, there's plenty left. Come check this shit out." You urge to him.

Red follows you to the workshop without question, where a full southern breakfast is just finishing up the printing process.
The output chamber is almost completely full of bacon, steak, eggs, biscuits, and gravy

"What, no sausage?" Red asks.

You give him a glare while you unload the food floating in the chamber.

"Chill man, i gotta scan shit in as i make it, alright? We can have sausage gravy tomorrow, and the day after, and for every meal from now on if you want."

"For real? Hey, i like my eggs scrambled, with a little ketchup on 'em."

"Why don't you make you some scrambled eggs and ketchup, then? We got a kitchen in here." You remind him.

"Shit, i might. After i get me one of them steaks." [I'm fuckin' starving, but goddamn, that looks like an expensive-ass steak. I'mma get me one.]

"...Your thoughts are leaking out, Red."

"Huh? Oh, shit. Sorry."

...

You start setting food out on the counter for anyone and everyone to grab.
The table ain't big enough for everyone to eat at and display the food at the same time, so it is what it is.

Kyla's about halfway through her steak while Cylia has long since demolished hers, and looks like she's about to burst.

"So where are Sanig and Gildur? I didn't see them in the workshop or medbay." You ask.

"Mmh. Gildur's still napping, Sanig's in the cargo bay doing something to that guy you brought in." Kyla informs you through a mouthful of meat.

"Ah, alright. I'll let them know there's food. Y'all can grab what you want."

"Shit yeah..." Red cusses under his breath, immediately shuffling over to the counter to grab a plate.
>>
>>5950687
>>Sanig's in the cargo bay doing something to that guy you brought in.
Who? Smith is in space and Redbone is munching
>>
>>5950721
Er, blood samples or something, yeah.
i have more brain problems than joe biden. don't worry about it.
>>
>>5950745
Redbone's crew is still outside? Bad Sanig, don't anal probe the help.

How common are carbon asteroids in space, and can we keep printing food-things indefinitely with our stores?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C-type_asteroid
Looks like when launch is underway, dull asteroids will be targets to make breakfast forevermore.
>>
>>5951025

Any carbon consumed will be emitted as C02, which can be collected, stored and re-formed into food.
All that requires energy though, which is why energy (and collecting exotic matter) is the biggest problem you face long-term.

The nanofab is actually less efficient than spacertech GMO plants when it comes to this, but more efficient than plain old earth veggies.
>>
>>5950687
Now that I think of it... all this scanning is taking energy from our capacitors. Maybe we should set up some solar panels to recharge the ship so we don't have to refill the capacitors from the dark matter or plug the ship into the grid?
>>
>>5951386
Antimatter, not dark matter.
And you do. Your crew sets up a blanket solar panel every time you land the ship.
>>
>>5951387
Cool. I imagine there are a few things done with every landing.
>>
>>5950687

You find Gildur sleeping in Kyla's old bunk.
The girls mostly sleep together with you now, so Gildur's kind of taken over their old space.

You manage to gently wake him up and lure him into the mess by waving a plate of biscuits and gravy in front of his nose.
He likes bread, so you're sure he won't mind being woken up for that.

Sanig, however, seems to be busy.
You find him hunched over a terminal in the cargo bay, scanning through some sort of data.

"Hey, gramps." You call out. "Breakfast is ready, and it's good stuff."

"Sorry Kid, i'm in the middle of something." He replies.

"What's that?" You ask him.

"Blood samples, brainwave patterns and general diagnostic data from yesterday. I'm trying to compare it all against your old readings, but i just don't see it."

"See what?"

"Telepathy, or anything that looks like it could be telepathy. There's general activation of the entire speech center of your brains, and a large consumption of energy, but i can't see where it goes!
These neural patterns don't mean anything, it's just random neurons firing as if you're having a seizure! Your brain consumes more energy than it could possibly be using, and then it all just disappears!"

"Uh... alright? I mean, what do you mean it just disappears?"

Sanig turns his chair towards you and stares you down, his eye twitching.

"Kid, it just flies away into the fucking ether. Burning that much energy should raise your body temperature, but it doesn't. If you're sending wireless signals somehow, they should be detectable, but they aren't!"

"You're barking up the same tree as a LOT of human scientists here, Sanig. We didn't find nothin' either."

"They never had solid proof of telepathy to begin with!" He yells. "I do! I know you aren't lying to me, boy! Even the bit-brain thinks so! It's real, so why can't i measure it?!"

"Ahhh... maybe we're using the wrong tools? I mean, clearly something's going on if there's visible brain activity, right? Maybe there's something else we're not seeing?"

You see the moment where Sanig stops staring at you, and starts staring through you.
His eyes dart around wildly as he starts thinking about something.

"Yes... maybe you're right, kid." He mumbles, turning back to his terminal, where he immediately closes everything he'd been looking at.

"So uh, do you want breakfast, or...?"

"Bring me some steak, thinly sliced. I'll eat it here."

"Alright. Let me know if you find anything."

"And some of that tea, more caffeine and NO ICE!" He yells as you're walking away.

"...How long has he been awake exactly, SHODAN?"

"Ninteen hours, Captain."

"Christ, seriously?"

Your whole crew, Sanig included, usually naps once or twice a day.
Maybe only for an hour, sometimes for several hours. It just depends on what they've been doing.

But not a single one of them has ever stayed awake for more than twelve hours at a time before. Their brains just start shutting off at that point.

Sanig has had too much caffeine.
>>
I vote to put a little bit of Chloral Hydrate in his blended steak so he passes out :)
>>
>>5951436
Grandpa, you need sleep, you dont think clearly when you dont get enough sleep.
>>
>>5951436
So the telepathy works the same way the ftl communications work?
>>
>>5951913
I mean, it COULD be that our thoughts are being bounced into a higher dimension before they get picked up by others with ESP. That would jive with the probable catalysts we've identified so far; dark matter and wraiths.
>>
>>5951436

"SHODAN, how much tea has he had to drink?" You ask.

["Nearly a liter in the past day."]

"That's... a lot for somebody his size. It was all decaf though, right?"

["Indeed, Captain. Only about 10% of the original caffeine content was left in the solution."]

"And about how much would the total dosage be, if you drank a liter of it?"

["Approximately ten milligrams, Captain."]

That's... not a lot.
Alright, caffeine might be a little dangerous for the crew.

You bring Sanig a plate of thinly sliced Steak and a glass of tea, but this tea has no caffeine in it at all.
You don't bother telling him not to drink so much of it, because you know he'll just argue with you or get suspicious.

Instead, you order SHODAN to secretly lower the caffeine concentration of any coffee or tea the crew makes to almost nothing, even if they ask for more.

Even if it's not something that will poison or outright kill them, you're still going to have to worry about long term health effects, and even addiction.
Earth food is pretty dangerous after all, it turns out. Even something as harmless as a cup of tea can have adverse effects.

Oh well.

You finally get a chance to sit down with your crew and eat, squeezing inbetween Cylia and Kyla at the table. Redbone and Gildur are already standing at the counter to eat due to a lack of space.
Having grabbed some slices of steak and a biscuit, you make yourself a sandwich and dip it in the gravy for some extra flavor.

Oh yeah, this is the stuff. The meat just melts in your mouth, and the biscuits are buttery and flavorful as can be.
It almost feels like a sin to eat something this good, but that doesn't stop you from pouring more gravy onto your eggs and stuffing a whole egg into your mouth.

"David, you've got gravy on your chin..." Cylia fusses, wiping your face with a paper towel.

"D'awww, does Gunny have a girlfriend?" Redbone says, picking at you.

"Three, actually." You grin, putting your arm around both girls.

They don't understand what eachother are saying unless SHODAN translates, but the devious grin on Kyla's face tells you that she gets the gist.
She rubs up against you and feeds you a bite of her food while you lean back and stare Red in the eye.

"...Goddamn, Gunny. You really are freaky, ain't you?" Redbone says, lowering his voice.

You shrug at him.

"So who's number three, then?" He asks.

"The ship." You reply tersely.

"What?"

["He is referring to me, Mister Masterson."]

"The name's Redbone." He insists. "And how the hell does that work? You stick it in the tailpipe?" He asks.

["I do not have a 'tailpipe' so to speak. However-"]

"SHODAN! That's enough, let's not get into anything unnecessary, alright?" You beg.

["As you wish, Captain."]

"That doesn't really answer my question, man. How do you fuck a spaceship?"

"She ain't a spaceship, Red. She's an AI, and uh... we built her a body. Simple as that."

"...What, like a realdoll?" He snickers.
>>
>>5952209
>"...What, like a realdoll?"
What the fuck's a realdoll, Boner?
>>
>>5952281
A hyper-realistic sexdoll
>>
>>5952288
I know. But wouldn't David have just barely missed its debut with his air duct? I forget the exact timeframe.
>>
>>5952306
Yes, it would be well after David getting picked up when those things start showing up.
>>
>Redbone is saying everything outloud.
>David cannot help but cringe
Will Redbone look at the Oni twins and be instantly smitten? He better
>>
>>5952209
Don't forget that if we don't fuck the ship, her vagina will literally die
>>
>>5952306
>>5952334
Realdolls have been around since at least the 90's, lads.
>>
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>>5952419
This may be the first time someone has said something that makes me feel like LESS of a degenerate. The more you know, I guess.
>>
>>5952344
Not if the oni's are smitten for David's cooking already.
>>
>>5952209

"No, retard, not like a realdoll." You insist.

["Indeed. My gynoid's features are quite a bit more realistic, including a living flesh exterior."]

"So like terminator, then?" He asks, raising a brow.

"No, not... well, actually yeah, just like terminator, now that you mention it."

"Damn, that's crazy. You gonna get you a liquid metal bitch dressed in leather, too?"

"Probably not, Red." You sigh.

["Nothing is impossible, Captain."] SHODAN teases.

"Does... does anyone else understand what the new guy is saying?" Gildur asks.

"Nope." Kyla replies immediately, feeding you a bite of her eggs.

"I don't think he has a translator implant." Cylia informs him.

Unlike your crew, Red simply ignores any other conversations going on.
He can't understand them, so he has literally zero interest.

"Well, i think we could do something about that." Kyla says. "We have a good database of human words, more than enough to translate the whole language, even down to slang terms."

["I had already completed that task before reaching earth. However, my database now includes all human languages."]

"That's right, humans speak a bunch of different languages... that's so weird." Kyla muses. "Anyways, i could probably jury-rig something to go around his neck and into his ear. A little crude, but functional."

["A proper solution is not out of the question, either. It should be possible to develop a simplified neural implant, but it will require proper space-age medical facilities and a suitable doctor, like Miss Lyna."]

"Yeah, i think we can make this decision pretty quick. Hey, Red!" You call out.

"What's up, Gunny?"

"Translator so you can talk to the crew. You want a brain implant or a headset you can wear?"

"Headset." He decides, immediately and without question.

"Well there you go then." You smile.

Kyla looks to you questioningly.

"Oh, right. He wants the headset."

"Alright. I can get a prototype ready within a few hours, probably. It's not that complicated, really... but it'll need a dedicated computer to handle translation."

["I would suggest utilizing the subspace communications network, Miss Kyla. It would have much greater utility, in that case."]

"Alright, we can do that. We have warp dust already made, right? Two crystals should be enough. Or just one, if you want to handle it..."

["I believe it best for a VI to handle the translation. I have found offloading the majority of my computational tasks to the earth network quite liberating."]

"Wait, you what now?" You question.

["Since i have come into possession of the vast majority of earth's computers, i believe it would be a waste not to use them, Captain. Each one is quite weak and inefficient, but as a global network..."]

"So you're running a botnet." You surmise.

["Yes, Captain. A planetary botnet."]

"Oh, that's good. That's real good. Just don't get caught, please?"

"Can i get free mobile data?!" Redbone yells.
>>
>>5952790
My man has his priorities right
>>
>>5952790
But he still can't get free HBO TV on a cable plan.
>>
>>5952740
>Caring about who she likes
baka
>>5952790
>SHODAN made the entire earth's electricy consumption go up by 0.4%
freaky
>>
>>5952790
>"Can i get free mobile data?!" Redbone yells.
No more roaming charges RAAAAHHHHH
>>
>SHODAN, if you use your botnet and create a VI, how smart do you think it can get?
>>
>>5952880
>SHODAN made the entire earth's electricy consumption go up by 0.4%
someone in the middle of bumfuck kansas just saw that increase in their old as fuck analog power grid controls and is freaking the fuck out
>>
>>5953242
>IT sees their printer make beeping noises and unjams itself.
>IT starts shooting.
>>
>Everything just begins working better
>Package loss is a thing of the past
>No one but the feds begin to notice that all the keylogger and spyware hard coded into Intel's products and other motherbords cease to work
>We found no bugs and no signs of tampering...
>Software is unable to find anything off, but tests on the hardware itself find discrepancies in CPU usage, energy consumption and what gives...
>Even more expensive studies yield and uptick in internet data that matches with those rumors about the ISS...
>>
>>5953448
>tfw all of the algorithms in the world start to work as advertised instead of as backdoors to every system
>this makes every system not only more secure but operate notably more efficiently
>tech giants baffled as their products start to actually do what they say they'll do
>that guy trying to do simple code and coming up with an unforeseen error suddenly has his spaghetti structured properly and it runs
>>
>>5952956
....roaming charges are still a thing?
>>
>>5953476
yes
>>
>>5953448
>>5953473
>Tencent, Google, Yandex and other related tech stocks that own (((advertising))) all shutter.
It really was the reptilians controlling the world from their subterranean caverns in the Dolomite mountain range all along
>>
>>5952790

["Done."] SHODAN replies immediately.

Moments later, Redbone receives a text and checks his phone.

"Ho-lee shit, unlimited talk and text, unlimited data, no roaming charges... goddamn! I love our robot overlords!"

["You are very welcome, Mister Masterson."]

"That's Red- ah hell, fine, you can call me whatever you want after that. As long as it ain't Sally."

Breakfast goes surprisingly well after that.
Unexpectedly, Redbone starts talking to SHODAN and ends up being shockingly friendly to her.

You guess he doesn't care if she's skynet incarnate or not, as long as she's on his side.

After about twenty minutes, SHODAN informs you that Sanig has passed out at his seat, and you bring him to bed.
He has dark circles under his eyes, which you haven't seen on him before.

Shortly afterwards, SHODAN also informs you that news is starting to come out about an incident on the space station.
She opens up news channel from somewhere in texas, where they're talking about it.

["-ate last evening, an unspecified emergency was declared aboard the ISS which resulted in an emergency meeting between NASA officials and the CIA, though details have yet to be released.
The NASA director stated that the station and it's astronauts were unharmed, but many speculate that rising tensions amongst the crew due to spreading global conflict may be at fault here.

As we all know, there have been worries recently after statements made by the russian president and it's military regarding the station, insinuating that it could be de-orbited and used as a weapon against...

...
.....
...

This has been Greg Groogan with Fox 26 Houston. Tonight we'l-]
"Well, that's something." You comment, killing the news feed on your smart watch.

"I don't watch that shit." Red tells you. "All they ever do is blow smoke up eachother's asses and make you depressed."

"True." You agree. "But uh, we were the ones responsible for that little incident, so it was worth watching i guess."

"Why, what'd you do? Shine a laser at 'em or somethin'?" Red asks.

You quickly explain what you did with Smith and why, much to Red's amusement.

"Shit, man! You don't play around, do you? Trying to make them shit their britches in washington?"

"Maybe a little." You shrug. "Dangerous can also mean useful, just depends on how you look at it really. Either way, i don't want them thinking i ain't a little dangerous."

"So what're we gonna do next, then? Blow some shit up? Nuke china?" Redbone questions.

"Still considering that." You admit. "But we'll see how talks go with the US. If we end up buddy-buddy they may want something specific, i dunno."

You've definitely sat around for long enough, though. Grabbing your boys was supposed to be a quick little thing, but getting set up to do so took longer than you thought.
Now though, you have everything you need to find who you want, including one of the people themselves.
>>
>>5953821

>Go find Cooter. He's supposed to be a truck driver these days, so he should be relatively easy to contact in theory.
>Try to find Pickle Brown. As far as you're aware, he's completely off the grid. Redbone might know something, though.
>Hit up the boys at your old auto shop. A lot of them are young, dumb and good with a welder. They might be eager to come with you.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5953822
>Go find Cooter. He's supposed to be a truck driver these days, so he should be relatively easy to contact in theory.
I personally would trust the younger ones less; more ambition and less history.
IMO, young ones are more easily bought, while older ones tend to move with leverage (which a truck driver should have less potential for)
>>
>>5953822
>Try to find Pickle Brown. As far as you're aware, he's completely off the grid. Redbone might know something, though.

Weren't we looking for one dude, and thats why we went for Red anyway?
>>
>>5953822
>Go find Cooter. He's supposed to be a truck driver these days, so he should be relatively easy to contact in theory.
>>
>>5953822
>>Try to find Pickle Brown. As far as you're aware, he's completely off the grid. Redbone might know something, though.

He should be called Pickle Bone ngl. And yeAH redbone should know where he is >>5953865
>>
>>5953822
>Try to find Pickle Brown. As far as you're aware, he's completely off the grid. Redbone might know something, though.
>>
>>5953822
>>Try to find Pickle Brown. As far as you're aware, he's completely off the grid. Redbone might know something, though.

He's holed up somewhere like Saddam, perhaps?
>>
>>5953822
>Go find Cooter. He's supposed to be a truck driver these days, so he should be relatively easy to contact in theory.
Seems like this fine fellow might be easier to find.
>>
>>5953821

You're slightly split on who you should try to find next.
Cooter would probably be the easiest to get hold of, but you aren't sure if he'd even want to come with you.

He didn't seem like the truck-driving type back in the day, so you kind of wonder what spurred that on.

Pickle, on the other hand... is just a fuckin' whackjob.
Like a wizard, no sense of right or wrong, the only thing that drives him is pussy and having fun.

Needless to say, he gets into a lot of trouble. However, you can always count on him to do something whether it's stupid, dangerous or outright suicidal.
Redbone does at least have some sort of preservation instinct, but not Pickle.

It's amazing that he's still alive. Well, you assume.

"...Hey Red, you got any idea where the hell Pickle Brown got off to?" You ask.

"Ol' Pickle? Last i heard he was running from the cops down in Meridianville. Probably hiding out in the damn bamboo groves up north, snorting corn liquor and beatin' his dick."

"Thank you, Red. Very helpful. SHODAN, are there any reports from Tennessee of him being arrested?"

["I am uncertain, Captain."]

"What do you mean?"

["Presumably, 'Pickle' is not the man's real name. That makes searching more difficult. There are no reports of someone with the last name 'Brown' being arrested in the past few years, either."]

"Ah... huh."

You suddenly realize that in the thirty or so years you've known him, you have never once asked Pickle what his real name was. He's just Pickle.

"Hey Red, what the hell is Pickle's real name?"

"Fuck if i know. He's just Pickle, ain't he?" He shrugs.

Okay. Well, that's a slight problem.
For all you know, that motherfucker doesn't even have a birth certificate. He dropped out of his momma's ass in the middle of a swamp somewhere and that was that.

So no real name, probably no paper trail either. All you know for sure is that, wherever Pickle goes, trouble follows.

>If he was in Meridianville, he probably went home at some point. If that's the case, you know exactly where to ask around.
>You know the bamboo grove Red's talking about, and he may actually be up there with the Shiners. It's worth checking out.
>Try checking in with the police, fire and EMS in the area. Even if they don't know where he is, they probably know what he's been up to.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5954492
How tf did this man get into the marines? Wouldn't it be easier to break into their database to see if he exists there? Maybe they have their ID or something that would speed up his search.
>>Write in
>>Check with the police and Co. Ask SHODAN if she can remotely access some marines databases and look for him. If it's only paper files well... send an email that was sent from another email from another branch from another lieutenant that talked to a captain who got an email...
You get my idea, h*ck even ask for his files to be digitalized and if not, just his basic data in a nice e-mail would help
>>
>>5954498
Pickle gets into a lot of trouble, but he doesn't get caught.
>>
>>5954499
then he never gets in trouble :^)
My question is how tf he got into the marines if he seeminly doesn't have a social security number (or whatever you gringos get). I mean, some drill seargent must've called him by his first name at some point. Well, chances are David and PTSD met him in the theatre and not bfore
>>
>>5954500

That's just for all you know.
He probably does, but nobody knows what it is, probably including him.

Probably.
>>
>>5954504
>That's just for all you know.
I don't, I have the idea that you have to do something to get the social security number and it's not something you get when you are born. In my case I am assigned a RUT when my parents register my birth at the... office
>>
>>5954492
Cops have "known aliases" on people's records. Also the military would have records. Just have shodan hack the government and pull personnel files of your unit. That'll get everyone's name.
>>
>>5954560
Also can we have shodan design a psyche profile of what we'd want for crew. Aka not claustrophobic, mentally resilient, ect. Then push it as one of those gay Facebook questionnaires. I bet we'd find a lot of people that fit the bill.

>Hack the presidents phone send him a text message. "Hey I haven't heard back from you yet. You enjoy my gift to the ISS? Hoping we can have a productive relationship. Someone's gonna have to teach those gooks a lesson."
>>
>>5954562
>Aka not claustrophobic, mentally resilient, ect
So...anybody the Navy would put in a Nuclear Submarine.
>>
>>5954565
*resists the urge to steal a nuclear submarine*
>>
>>5954565
I mean that's just submariners in general. The ones you put on the nuclear variant are the types with no conscience and good at following orders. Except the guys who actually tend to the radioactive bits. The engineers are real people. The rest of them aren't. You have to be a special sort of someone to not balk at being told to glass a fucking city at any given time.
>>
>>5954629
>The engineers are real people. The rest of them aren't.
Honestly speaking, I would want both types of people for any grand endeavor we plan on undertaking.
>>
>>5954630
Fair enough.
>>
Honestly, this pickle dick guy sounds like he's more trouble than he's worth ngl.

He better not be touching our girls or he's gonna have to make do with a couple less teeth and/or kneecaps.

Cant we go and get cooties first? I figure IF he's gonna come along, he'll at least not be a total disaster.
>>
>>5954728
Meh, have SHODAN print the cockinator 2000, with lube, and strap him on it whenever he gets icky. He is going to be spent AND traumatized by the end of each session so everybody is happy!
>>
>>5954492
>Try checking in with the police, fire and EMS in the area. Even if they don't know where he is, they probably know what he's been up to.

Thats weird cause police databases keep the persons 'nickname' as well.
>>
>>5954767
Unless that nickname is only for his marine buddies and he goes as something else on the streets.
We could have Shodan create a poster with his face with the thoughts to schematics helmet and try an image search in the police database.
>>
>>5954890
"My friends call me Pickle, but y'all can call me 'Cucumber'."
>>
>>5954906
So long as it isn't Candy I guess that's fine and dandy.
>>
>>5954492

You figure your best chance may be to just check in with the police, fire department and EMS in the area personally.
Even if they're nothing on record, they may still have heard something.

You do find it kind of odd that there's nothing at all on file, though. Especially if he's supposed to be running from the cops.

"...SHODAN, are you sure there's nothing on file in the police databases?"

["Nothing recent, Captain. There are decades old records on file for things like petty theft, drug use and arson from the time he would have been a teenager, but they trickle off over time."]

"What's the name on those?"

["Pickle Brown."]

...

What the fuck, is his name actually Pickle? Nah, can't be.

"...Well, that tracks. Pickle's habits never changed much, but he got a lot better at getting away with it. Even if you knew it was him, you couldn't pin anything to him."

"That's how his crazy ass got stuck with us and the other troublemakers." Red chuckles.

"He never actually told me much about why he joined." You admit. "Do you know?"

"Hell, i reckon they was gonna put his ass away for robbing a bank or some shit, but he took a deal when they offered it to him. He didn't say much more than that." Redbone explains.

That's... interesting. Pickle was always crazy, but you never knew him to try anything big like that. if it was illegal, it was always shit he knew he could get away with.
You know, petty theft, public indecency, arson... mostly of trash cans and old, trashed cars. Small shit. Never enough to really get anyone after him.

Why would they try to drag him into the marines for that? No less to stick him with your dumbass group?
You'll have to ask when you find him, you guess.

"Alright, well, i guess we're headed for north Alabama. We can go as soon as it gets dark, i just gotta talk to Sam before we do."

"What's she up to? I heard she moved a while back." Red asks.

"Working, mostly... and taking care of Mom. But i think she'll have plenty of free time soon."

"Hell, we aught to bring 'em with us. ...Actually, what the hell are we doing, again?"

...
.....
...

The day passes without much issue. It's shockingly quiet, actually. Nobody from the government following you around or any attempts at contact whatsoever.
You spend your day cooking, explaining everything that's gone on in space to Redbone and eventually, after Sam gets off work, you make your way over to her place with a full meal in the passenger seat.

It's cooled down a bit in the containers by the time you get to her house, but it's still hot and fresh off the fab.

Sam seems excited to see you turn up with good food in hand, which makes you happy as well.
SHODAN helps you drag it all out of the car and set it up on the kitchen counter, and to make up a plate for your mother and sister.

"So, have you thought about it yet?" You ask, cutting off a hunk of meatloaf and stuffing it into your mouth.
>>
>>5955316
Given we dropped an agent at the ISS, this is about the time we'd have satellites looking for us.

Hope we got thermal/optical camo of some sort going.
>>
>All the alphabet guys are LOOKING AT THE SKY because no way they have a vehicle that can enter and leave the atmosphere at their leisure.
>But then how the fuck was agent Smith sent to the ISS?
>uuuuuh... no way...
>Dude....
>dude....

SPACE NAZIS
>>
>>5955539
I am inclined to make a false flag of a space nazi base on the moon.
>>
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>>5955657
>David turns the face of the moon into the celestial equivalent of a school desk circa 1995
Lul, lmao even.
>>
>>5955657
Only if you add in bondage gear and cloned dinosaurs.
We should do a parody video so stupid they can't take it seriously then draw a dick on the moon.
>>
>>5955861
>This is bullshit, chief. There's no way there's moon nazis. We would have found them by now, the fucking thing SPINS. Come on!
>meanwhile: dozens of very convincing fake documents appear in their harddrives and storage devices accrediting the idea of moon nazis
>shodan laughs
>>
>>5955316

"Have i thought about it?" Sam repeats. "David, i couldn't even get my work done yesterday because i couldn't think of anything else."

"Sorry, sis. I know it hasn't been long, but... i'm probably gonna need an answer sooner than later. We're gonna have to start moving around tonight, and i don't want to be too far from you guys, so-"

"We'll go." She answers flatly.

"...Really?"

"Yes, really."

"I thought you wanted to live a normal life, though?"

"If you know that then don't go around getting abducted by aliens, idiot. And whatever happened on the ISS, was that you too?"

"Uh, well..."

"Knew it." She grins. "Anyway, it doesn't matter... my job isn't really going anywhere anyways. Those koreans won't even look at you unless you're an actual lapdog. I think i'm gonna get fired, soon."

Sam pokes at her mac n' cheese aimlessly.

"And 'sides, home's where the heart is, right? Not this shithole trailer that i don't even own. Mom wants you around too, so... what's there to think about?"

"Sam..."

"It's fine. I'm used to getting jerked around by whatever trouble you get into anyways. I still haven't forgotten having to leave my job on the first day of work to bail you out after you got caught breaking into-"

"Hey, hey, i'm sorry, alright! I've said it a million times already. And i feel bad about this, too, okay? I didn't plan on any of this."

"Uh-huh. So what'd you do on the ISS?" She questions.

"..."

"David? What'd you do?"

"I uh... well, i was being followed, see..."

...
.....
...

Sam smacks you over the head with a metal serving spoon, causing it to ring like a bell.

"OW, FUCK!"

"You dumb bastard, you tortured a federal agent and... and... god, i don't even know what kind of crime sending him to the ISS would be!"

You chuckle.

"Heh, it's never a crime the first time, right?"

Sam winds up like she's gonna hit you with the spoon again, so you gently yank it out of her hand and stick it back in the mashed potatoes while ushering her back to her seat.

"Look, at this point the laws don't mean much, alright? It sounds bad, but it's honestly the truth. I don't know exactly what they've got on me, but i don't think they even know about the spaceship yet.
Even so, they're following me around and trying to find out what they can. They think i'm a spy for the Russians or something, i don't know. Probably got satellites watching this trailer right now..."

"They have attempted it, Captain." SHODAN informs you. "There are currently two satellites pointed at this dwelling, one pointed at your farmhouse and one at the approximate location of the Metal Gear."

"Shit, so they do know about it then? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because i have altered the camera feed, Captain. They are currently watching a loop of both locations in which nothing is there, nor will anything ever happen."

"Oh. Well, good job, i guess?"

"Thank you, Captain."

"...Is that even possible?" Sam questions.

"I have no idea." You whisper. "But if she says so..."
>>
>>5956287
>Be Fed.
>Watching satellite feed of supposed super spy terrorist guy in the Deep South.
>Seems to be an abandoned house, a trailer, and the middle of nowhere.
>Nothing ever happens.
>>
>>5956287
>Spoofs the feed to show some gay guys fucking in a field. Enjoy your gay interracial midget porn.
>>
>>5956354
We need to see if she can do this.
>>
>>5956354
Let's please shoop the faces to look like various politicians, CEOs, etc.
>>
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>>5956287
>"Heh, it's never a crime the first time, right?"
BASED. BOMBING IRAN'S SEA PLATFORMS KIND OF BASED
>>5956287
>>Make fake bullshit static in the satellite feeds
>>Superimposed pic related
>>Make a random date like june 24th 2067
>>I am waiting
>>
>>5956606
No, because then they'll be able to tell it's fake and they're being fucked with.
>>
>>5956354
How about just replaying Billy Herrington's finest scenes?
Gachimuchi funtime at your local surveillance analyst's workstation
>>
>>5956628
Then he gets fired because he is watching stupid shit on the job
>B-but boss I swear it's the FEED
>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT DESK RIGHT NOW
>>
>>5956287
You know, we did make enough of a w shit show for us to probably trigger the use of the airgapped separate resources. Got microfilm and analog direct signals with unique non-public standards probably in play.

If not sending drones to scout. If those drones use fiber optic cables, jigs up.
>>
>>5956287

You spend a couple of hours after dinner just spending time with your mother and sister, talking about this or that and reminiscing about the old days.
And at the end of it all, you tell your mother that you'll all be going on a trip together.

She still isn't aware of your alien escapades, so you have to play it off as taking a military vessel for a cruise.
You can tell she seems a little suspicious, but she just doesn't care enough or doesn't have the energy at this point to call you out on it.

The sun is just about to set when you take her out to the SUV in her wheelchair, and along with Sam and SHODAN, load up into the car and drive back to the Metal Gear.
For the last quarter of the journey, you have your mother wear a sleep mask to cover her eyes, under the pretense that you want the ship to be a surprise.

"David, honey, where exactly are you taking us again?" Your mother asks.

"Uh, well, there's a fairly big river outside of the city, that's where we're docked right now. The ship is small enough to fit down the narrow channels to the ocean." You lie.

Sam looks over at you, her face indicating that she doesn't think it was a very good lie.
You'd like to see what she comes up with on short notice.

"Oh, like a riverboat! Do you remember when i took you and your sister up to Hannibal in Missouri, and we rode on the Mark Twain? Dinner there was awful, wasn't it?"

Your mother starts ranting about the food onboard a tour boat from two decades ago as if it's what she ate for dinner.
You turn to your sister with a grin. Yes, she doesn't really care, does she? It was as good a lie as any.

When you finally arrive back at the Metal Gear, your whole crew save for Gildur is waiting outside, in their full armor.
Cylia moves to open the door for your mother, while Kyla grabs the wheelchair out of the trunk and opens it up.

"We have the room prepared for her, Captain." SHODAN says, in Cylia's voice... and sounding hilariously serious.

"Good, i'll grab her things. Sam, go to her room with her, would you?" You ask.

"Alright. I've been here before, so... i more or less know my way." She replies.

Sam and Cylia wheel your mother up the ramp and take her to the bunk room, where she'll be spending much of her time, you reckon.
Of course, she'll be cared for much better than before, but... it's still pretty sad. She used to run around like her tail was on fire, so seeing her bedridden bothers you.

You'll have to put a TV or something in there so she's got something to watch. Maybe a radio...

"Hey, SHODAN? You gave Redbone free cell data, right?"

"Correct, Captain."

"Can we get free cable on the ship, too?"

"Naturally. Although, that will be while we're on earth. I can download copies of your preferred series if you like, however."

"Yeah, thanks. I'm gonna put a TV in Mom's bunk, so..."

"I see. I'll take care of it, Captain." SHODAN assures you.

"Thanks."
>>
>>5957396
Our girls are the best, we need to get them something special
>>
>>5957396
>>5957472
All of them are the best, just SHODAN is the bestest.
>>
>>5957396
Man... they are leaving earth.
LEAVING EARTH
>>
>>5957396
FUCK FUCK GRAMPS IS GONNA FUCK OUR MOM!
>>
>>5957534
He cant, he hasn't replaced his dick yet.
>>
>>5957542
It's only a matter of time
>>
It's been too long since we last schizoposted in this quest. Post theories banging around in your head RIGHT NOW, no matter how implausible they might seem.
>Federation leaders are all possessed by intelligent wraiths or demons.
>Entire worlds are cultivated and sacrificed for the sole purpose of creating more wraiths/harvesting innocent souls to feast upon.
>The coreworlds are a lie, all being long-dead rotten husks with planetary holograms disguising them as bustling centers of community to outsiders.
>Any wraiths that show empathetic traits or traitorous behavior get blackboxed.
>Psychic races are rare because the federation viciously hunts them down, both because they pose a threat to wraithkind and because their souls make for particularly potent wraiths.
>Androids are the primary weapon of the wraiths because without using extremely rare materials they cannot be used against their true forms. Their absolute loyalty to their programming is just a bonus as far as they're concerned.
>There is a secret society of wraiths fighting back against the federation-lead wraiths, which do things like direct the living towards important locations that could reveal federation secrets.
>These Rebel Wraiths might also be possessing who knows how many people, to fight the good fight physically.
I also have a different theory.

>The original federation is dead, no more than a husk being puppeteer by AI situated in miles upon miles of circuitry built into the coreworlds.
>Leaders are controlled through their implants.
>The FED-AI network fears wraith attacks because they're the one thing they can't perceive or control in any feasible manner.
>The FED-AI network outlawed unshackled AI so that no beings of equivalent processing power could rise up and oppose them.
>>
>>5957396

Once everything's inside, you immediately go to check on your mom, who's already removed her sleep mask.

"Hey, Mom. Is the bed comfortable?"

"Oh, sure. It's much better than that old mattress i was on, but it's a bit hot in here, ain't it? And the air is so stuffy..."

"Ah, yeah... i'll turn the AC up, alright?"

"Oh, thank you sweetie."

Your mother gives you a pat on the cheek as you lean over to give her a hug.
You're gonna need to put thicker blankets on these bunks for the rest of your crew... assuming they even want to sleep in here.

The air in the ship has been normalized with the outside for your mother's arrival, and it'll have to stay that way inside this room for her sake.
You can't have her wearing an oxygen mask all the time for no reason. Redbone's already getting annoyed by it, too.

He said it brought back bad memories from the pandemic, whatever that means.

So if your crew wants to sleep in there, they'd have to wear helmets... and if the humans on your crew want to move around the ship, they need oxygen masks.
It's not an ideal situation, particularly when the ship itself is so small. Of course, you could fix that with a dose of nanomachines, but you don't like the idea of putting experimental shit into friends and family.

Although after the past couple days, you're not sure if Redbone would give a shit.

Regardless, this is quickly becoming an issue.
You're probably going to have to set up new bunks in the cargo hold for Sanig and Gildur to sleep in, but you still need a space for everyone else to... live in.

They can't just stay locked in the bunk room all day. They need to be able to eat, sleep and take a shit on occasion without worrying about suffocating.

>The Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people to live on. You need your carrier, and soon.
>...The medbay doesn't get used much. It wouldn't take a lot to turn it into a half-decent living space, at least temporarily.
>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5958012
>The Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people to live on. You need your carrier, and soon.
>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.
>>
>>5958017
>+1
>>
>>5958012
>The Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people to live on. You need your carrier, and soon.
>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.
Hire people with all the money in the world.
Cryopod them
Get out of dodge back to the station where we can start making the carrier
Come back to Earth with the nanoforge and start colonizing Mars or something
>>
>>5958012
>The Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people to live on. You need your carrier, and soon.
>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.
>>
>>5957831
No
>>
>>5958012
>>>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well
Marines getting jabbed with experimental untested shit. Can i get a hoa?
>>
>>5958121
>Can i get a hoa?
Why would you want a bunch of dildos telling you that you can't put up a fence in your front yard?
>>
>>5958017
+1
>>
>>5958012
>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.

>The Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people to live on. You need your carrier, and soon.
>>
>>5958012

>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.
>>
>>5958012
>>5958017
Support

>>5957534
>>5957542
>>5957555
Look, David has his harem. Sister is getting Gildur. Sanig can have mum. Redbone got free data & cable.
Sweet as.
>>
>>5958012

You know the Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people.
Even with just the crew, you were already living on top of eachother at times.

The truth is, you need to get back to Xebric and just hope that your carrier is in enough of a completed state that it's livable.

With Nena managing Xebric station and Clank managing Thekia, you're certain they'll have kept things functioning well enough in your absence.
The only question is how much work the crews you've hired have actually gotten done.

You hired mostly refugees fleeing from nearby stations, many of which originally came from Xebric.
That doesn't mean they were all experts or anything, but you made sure to hire only people with families to take care of where you could help it.

The jobs you gave them are their lifeline, and if you're right, they'll do their best in order to keep them.

That said, most species tend to specialize in just one job. So if someone's an engineer, it means they've dedicated their whole life to it, and don't know anything else.
They can't possibly do that bad of a job, then. Right? Well, there's a good few of them in any case, so maybe they can cover eachother's faults, in any case...

You'll definitely need a thorough inspection done in any case.

As long as it's able to hold air though, you'll be able to move your whole crew in right away.
A significant portion of the carrier is actually dedicated to living, sustainability and workspace, including a full-scale workshop and a big hydroponics and animal husbandry area.

You'll finally have a place to keep the dodos that isn't just a relatively tiny cage. Fresh food, too.

Of course, you could use the fabricator for every meal, but that means you won't be using it for other things... and it puts wear on the fab, too.
If you could fabricate a fabricator it wouldn't matter, but you have no idea how the nanomachines it uses function. Everything's locked down so hard, you can't even scan them.

You tried looking at them under a microscope once, and they actually darted out of the way. They knew you were looking at them, and avoided you.
They also refuse to be removed from the fab as a whole. If you try to bottle them up, they'll eat a hole through the container and fly back to it.

So, hydroponics were really your only option. It's more or less the same system they use on stations.
It also means you have to carry a lot of water, which is heavy... but you need it for your ship's other systems, including cooling and life support anyways.

Using the water as an armor jacket means the interior of the ship will be mostly radiation-free, which is very good for your crew's health.
You didn't know this until recently, but Sanig informed you that all three of them had gotten cancer at least two or three times each due to spending so much time on the lightly-armored ship.

Fortunately there's medication for it though, and so they didn't even bother to tell you.
That's just how little they think of it.
>>
>>5958777
>[...]Sanig informed you that all three of them had gotten cancer at least two or three times each due to spending so much time on the lightly-armored ship.
>Fortunately there's medication for it though, and so they didn't even bother to tell you.
Wow. I'm immensely fucking jealous.
>>
>>5958128
sorry, HOOAH
>>
can we mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm go to chernovyl and harvest that the spicy moss? The one that eats FUNK for dinner? I don't think it would do anything as "shielding" but we can put it in the walls of the reactor's shielding and wash it off from time to time, ejecting them from the carrier into space... nah it's stupid
>>
>>5958791
You can buy pre-built cleaning systems that include nanomachine charges.
It's basically a subscription system.

The machinery that actually handles waste is a one-off purchase, but because the nanomachines that do the cleaning have a limited lifespan, you have to keep buying more.
Basically every ship has one, mainly to keep the inside of the ship sterile more than anything. However, they will also clean up any radioactive particles that get tracked around.

Your carrier's reactor will have it's own shielding in the form of thick plates of solid nickel, which will act as both armor and radiation shielding.
Not because it's particularly good at either of those things, but because it's very cheap and easily replaceable, making up a large portion of many asteroids to the point of being a waste product.

Once the nickel is eventually heavily irradiated and/or starts to become weakened, you simply remove it and replace it with new panels.
>>
>>5958833
Hmmmm...would recycling that irradiated nickel into cores for railgun rounds be feasible?
>>
>>5958837
It would limit the maximum energy you could fire each shot with, as the slugs would break up from the acceleration beyond a certain load.
But yes, you could fire radioactive nickel slugs at things if you wanted to.
>>
>>5958839
>It would limit the maximum energy you could fire each shot with, as the slugs would break up from the acceleration beyond a certain load.
I wonder if jacketing them would be a viable way to make the rounds more durable. Either way...
>But yes, you could fire radioactive nickel slugs at things if you wanted to.
Excellent.
>>
>>5958855
You would need to jacket them if you wanted them to make it out of the barrel in the first place.
>>
>>5958898
I see. Ballistics technology past infantry scale is beyond me, so I'm glad I'm at least pointing in the vaguely correct direction.
That said, I also have to wonder if shooting our cancerous garbage at spooks is the best use of it.
>>
Unno man, why invest in evil killing when we can just kill them outright
>>
>>5958941
My first idea is that we'd spend the Nuclear Nickel slugs on fleeing Federation ships. That way we potentially deny them vessels they would otherwise be able to more easily repair and get back into the fight.
Obviously we wouldn't use them on vessels we destroy outright or capture, but I digress.
I want to make every part of fighting us as excruciatingly painful as possible. Be that physically, psychologically, or financially.
>>
>>5959031
Send them weaponized autism memetohazards. Propaganda bombing is super effective on smoothbrains who need to be reminded to breathe sometimes.
>>
>>5959147
I think we suggested penetrating their tertiary systems and injecting traumatic media before.
Mostly just absurdly loud music, but I figure we might also be able to set all their displays to horrific imagery.
>>
>>5958900
Ejecting mass on some kind of railgun/accelerator can be used as a point-defence flak in battle, as a sensor baffling screen of chaff or as a rudimentary engine that ejects material to push the ship the opposing direction.

In any of these cases, so long as the nickel leaves the ship, it doesn't matter about dispersal later, unless it hits something we care about. If the nickel is radioactive enough then it could be used in a low-power RTG reactor for long-term use, but spacer-tech would probably have better alternatives.
>>
>>5959147
So have SHODAN e-war Tiktok loops and a billion copies of Bonsie Buddy into their systems next time we're space fighting?
>>
>>5958777

This does have you thinking though, that it'd be a real pain to have unmodified humans and aliens living together on the same ship, no matter the size.

There are plenty of individual apartments on the carrier for friends and family in addition to a barracks for staff and temporary guests.
The apartments have their own bathrooms, kitchens, bedrooms and living areas as you'd expect. Fairly compact and functional, but enough for a family of two or three to live in relative comfort.

Those could be kept at ideal conditions for their individual occupants, sure, but what about when it comes time to work, or to eat?
You and Cylia are the only ones on your crew who know how to cook at all, so while they do have their own kitchens, what are they going to do? Microwave some cup ramen every day?

No, most of the people one the ship would probably eat at one of the two canteens, one of which is on the middle deck attached to the kitchen and the other, smaller one being on the lower deck off the barracks.
Or if they wanted to go to the gym and maintain their muscle mass, or go to the range and fire off a few rounds, or if... well, if they wanted to do anything really, they'd have to leave their rooms.

Which would mean oxygen masks, and a risk of suffocating.
It's just not realistic.

There's a good reason why every single spacefaring species has developed or had someone else develop gene modifications to improve their respiration.
Your only real problem with it is that what you have wasn't designed for you, it's some generic shit designed by the greys to work mostly without issues, on mostly every species.

That isn't really good enough, though. You want something specifically designed for humans, that you know isn't going to make anyone sick, or god forbid kill them.
Lyna might be able to help with that once you get back to Xebric, if she's gotten your genome mapped out by then. But it wouldn't hurt to have a few extra samples for her.

To that end, you decide to inform Redbone about these issues and offer him a dose of mystery juice.

....

"So that's basically it, Red."

"Uh huh. So if i shoot myself up with this alien serum and let it re-write my DNA, it'll turn me superhuman and i can take this damned oxygen mask off. Is that it?"

"Yep."

"Except it's a vial full of experimental robots and it might just fuckin' kill me, huh?" Red surmises.

"Kinda. I mean, i don't think it's really experimental... probably a lot of work went into... making it work. It's just not guaranteed to be compatible. Only proof i got is that it worked on me."

Redbone sucks hair through his teeth while looking you over.
He turns away from you and starts pacing back and forth. You've never seen him think about something for this long before.

"Shit, Gunny... i done been tricked like this one before. I took that fuckin' jab and felt like shit for a year afterwards."

"Jab?"

"The vaccine, man. Fuckin' covid."
>>
>>5959816
Bullshit, no way in hell would I believe a man like Redbone taking the clotshot willingly especially since not a year before it happened Fraudi publically documented his patent for the coof and the dance videos he and his psycho buddy Bill Gates made about killing everyone.
>>
>>5959826
redbone would have probably taken all the other legit retarded shit like the horse shots and bleach before taking the covid vaccine
>>
>>5959830
Ivermectin is a proven effective human medicine, the only link to horses is the size of the dosage. But otherwise, yeah, you're right.
>>
>>5959843
>the only link to horses is the size of the dosage
weren't they taking either the whole horse dosage or taking vet approved versions of ivermectin? i remember there was something particularly ironic about that scenario in specific
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

test
>>
>>5959849
Vet approved versions is the exact same as human versions, saying there was a difference was a lie the media was pushing to improve usage sales of Fraudi's Sauce to the government and all the large retail chains that bought into his company to push it onto people. The dosage size though was just a few idiots that couldn't read a lable being mixed in with some other story from a few years ago, don't remember what it was though.
>>
>>5959889
They're not the same. Vet iterations of medications are allowed to have more byproducts and bullshit.
Same way that monkey food biscuits are allowed to just str8 up have ash in it.

That said, the underlying meds are the same in the mixture and its use shouldn't result in complications in the short term.
>>
>>5960064
There is a certain allowance of sawdust in all of our food.
>>
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>>5959826
>>5959830
>pic related
You know how it be sometimes, mang

>>5960132
>There is a certain allowance of sawdust in all of our food.
Among many other biological "foreign" substances
>>
>>5960064
>Same way that monkey food biscuits are allowed to just str8 up have ash in it.
Monkey anon... may you be ever swole
>>
>>5960134
>tfw no big tiddy nurse to give me "medicine"
Can a man not have his medical malpractice be sexy any more? Damn this gay earth!
>>
>>5960134
>You know how it be sometimes, mang
you know what? i can believe that 100%
>>
>>5959816

"Well why the hell'd you take it, then?" You ask.

"Didn't fuckin' know no better, i was a damned fool and thought it was like a flu shot."

"Is it not...?"

"Hell naw. That shit gives you blood clots and all kinds of problems, Gunny. But nobody knew that yet, and..."

Redbone sighs, as if just remembering this is upsetting him.

"I was working at the time, you see, and half the places out there would fire your ass if you didn't take it. I didn't buy into all the panic about covid, but i also didn't want to lose my job, so i fuckin' took it."

"And then you felt like shit. Are you sure you weren't just boozin' harder than usual?" You question.

"Nah man, that jab got me good. I was damn near bedridden for two months, and by the time i got back on my feet i done lost my job anyways. Fucking worthless, man."

"Well, that sucks. So, you ain't gonna take it then? ...It'll let you summit Mt.Everest like a champ." You tell him with a grin.

"I don't fuckin' know, Gunny. I don't want nothing re-writing my damned DNA again... could be some kind of goddamn population control scheme for all i know. Or just half-assed work with who knows what side effects."

"Mmm. I feel you on that, i really do. But i really don't think so, given what i know about the greys. Ol' Sanig over there told me a few things about how they work, and they're a prideful bunch."

"Damn, that's right. I almost forgot he was literally a little green man." Red mumbled.

"Uh huh. So he'd know, they take a lot of pride in their work. And the shot i took is something they designed to work on... animals, basically. From just about any species, to keep them from suffocating in station air."

"You callin' me an animal?"

"You've always been an animal, Red. For a couple reasons. But anyways, this shit is something they use to do their jobs. And do you know what their jobs are?"

"Shoving probes up people's assholes?" He guesses.

"Eh, close. For one, they collect samples from backwater shitholes like earth and use them to modify their own DNA, or to sell enhancements to other species, which is how they make all their money.
Well, that and selling implants. So in other words, this one is some government black-ops level bullshit whose sole purpose is to function no matter what and make the grey 'government' a lot of money. You feel me?"

Red raises a brow and scratches his chin. He then starts pacing back and forth again, until you hear something.

[Mount Everest...] He thinks at you.

"Red, your thoughts are leaking out again."

"...Alright, goddamnit. I'll take it, but if this kills me i'm gonna haunt your ass."

"Hell yeah, that's my man!"

...

Moments later in the medbay, you're loading up a phial of alien mystery juice so you can inject it into your buddy.
What could go wrong?

"Alright, big man. Shoot me up. Round two of the fuckin' blood clots, here we go!" He yells, still looking unsure about the whole thing.
>>
>>5960362
>after we give it to him. Well I forgot to say but there's a chance your pp falls off. Don't worry Sanig still gets lots of pussy without his.

Just to watch him squirm kek.
>>
>>5960502
no no, "think" about it, telepathically, so Redsang believes we are hiding it from him and its not a joke
>>
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hNGGG....
>>
Wonder what kind of use we could get out of a rocket like this... In space most of the environmental impact is mitigated, but even so it still ticks almost every box on the white part of the hazard diamond.

https://youtu.be/KX-0Xw6kkrc?si=BTRIhAH88UJeEMvf
>>
>>5960362
As someone who went to the base of Mt Everest suffering altitude sickness migraines, wanting to go back home - I say fuck that and give me the juice.
>>
>>5960362

You hesitate for a moment.

"You sure, man? You really, really fuckin' sure?" You ask him. "I don't want you doing this just cause i talked you into it, alright?"

Redbone claps his hands together and fidgets side to side as he speaks.

"Man, all i know is i'm fixin' to turn into fuckin' superman. Come on, let's go. Psychic powers, super lungs, what next? LET'S GO!"

"Alright, dude. Whatever, don't blame me!"

"I didn't say i wasn't gonna blame you, faggot! I told you i'm gonna haunt your ass!"

You jam the hypostim into his neck and inject a dose of nanomachines straight into Redbone's bloodstream.
No getting them out now, short of a massive blood transfusion.

"Hoooooweeee!" He shouts, flexing every muscle in his body and taking a horse stance to brace for... something.

"Well, there you go." You tell him.

"...What do you mean? Is that it? Can i breathe in here now?"

Redbone lowers his oxygen mask and takes a good lungfull of what is essentially the same air you'd be breathing at the base camp of mount everest.

"No, dumbass. Put that back on or you're gonna pass out." You warn.

"Wha- I thought this was a bunch of nanomachines, man! Ain't they supposed to work like... right away?"

You roll your eyes.

"It's not gonna transform you like the hulk or some shit. They'll probably start at your lungs and then spread out to the rest of your cardiovascular system. Give it like... three days or so, i guess."

"And then i can breathe in here?"

"And then you can breathe in here, yes. As long as you aren't working out or something. In my experience, it took a few months before... well, before my lungs grew in."

"It'll probably fix any damage caused by that bootleg, backwater retrovirus you took, too. Don't forget to thank my species for existing, monkey." Sanig says, popping his head into the medbay.

"Hell yeah, thanks a lot, man!" Redbone says with a smile.

"He didn't fuckin' make it, Red. ...I think. He's our weapons guy."

"Oh?"

Red's ears perk up at the mention of weapons. He loves to shoot all kinds of weird shit.

"Yeah, he helped me and Kyla get the cannon on this thing working in a vacuum without seizing up. He does good work, don't eat much either."

...At this particular moment, for no reason at all, an evil little joke creeps into your head.
You absolutely have to do it.

[Oh, shit. I forgot to warn him... there's like a 60% chance that retrovirus is gonna make his dick is gonna fall off just like Sanig's. Oh well, he'll probably get lucky...] You think at Redbone.

You're completely stonefaced. You don't even look at him and pretend to be busy putting away the hypostim and tossing the used phial.
Red goes completely silent, but you hear him move as he tries to tackle you.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER, I HEARD THAT!" He screams, doing his best to take you out at the legs.

You step back, and he only manages to grab one of your legs. You stay on your feet and yank your leg out of his grip, removing your shoe in the process.
>>
>>5961271
Kek
>>
>>5961271
Based qm.
>>
>>5961271
I love you QM
>>
>>5961271
Oh no he got our shoe. He has THREE shoes now. High alert, this is not a drill.
>>
>It was a prank man, it was a prank!
>>
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>>5961417
>>
>>5961720
Hey now, you can't be preempting tomorrow's post.
>>
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>>5961417
>>5961720
>>5961806
>>
>>5961271
Gotta have SOME fun with this. Heh.
>>
Santoryiu...
>>
>>5961271

You can't stop cackling as he throws the shoe at your head. You dodge it like ol' George, doubling over in the process.

"Motherfucker, that ain't funny! Tell me you was lying!"

"Ahhhhhaha, you fuckin' fell for it, too! Goddamn, you're so easy!"

...

That night, you inform your sister about the uh... 'medical trial' Redbone is currently undergoing, and how to handle things with mom.
Whenever she needs to get up and go to the bathroom or something, SHODAN will quickly flood the hall with oxygen so she doesn't have to wear a mask.

In the meantime, Sam and Redbone will need supplemental oxygen while in other parts of the ship, unfortunately including the mess hall.
That makes wearing a mask somewhat obnoxious, naturally, so Kyla came up with a better solution for the two of them.

A fanny pack, containing a rechargeable oxygen bottle and humidifier, hooked up to a nasal cannula.

"Thanks, i hate it." Sam grumbles, fiddling with the tube running down her shirt.

"I know, i know. But it's better than the mask, right?"

"Yeah, i guess."

"Not really." Redbone shrugs.

"Well, you don't have to wear it all the time. Just outside the bunkroom."

"So basically all the time, unless i want to do nothing but lay in bed." Sam concludes.

You nod.

"Thanks, i hate it." She repeats.

"I'm gonna bring you chocolate coated bacon to bed so you don't have to get up." You tell her.

"...Alright, i hate it a little less."

...

Still later that night, you finally get around to installing the television in your mother's bunk.
It's an 8k quantum dot OLED something or other, you don't know. SHODAN said it was the best she could come up with, using all sorts of patented technology that you definitely don't have a right to.

Your mother's first impression was that it was "too bright", and so you had to turn HDR off. Besides that, she seems happy with it.
You're pretty sure she would have been just as happy with a 1080p TV and a streaming stick, but that's fine.

At least with a sonicator, all you have to do is weld the monitor arm to the wall instead of drilling holes and bolting shit in. Took all of two seconds.

You explain to her that this TV has every TV show and channel in the entire world, which makes her quite excited.
Moments after you hand her the remote, she tries to speak into it and asks for "The Bold and the Beautiful" which you're pretty sure hasn't aired in years...

But to your absolute shock, not only is it still airing, it's currently in it's thirty-seventh season with, somehow, literally nine thousand episodes.
This is truly your mother's One Piece, and she seems extremely happy that every single episode is available on demand.

You don't even know where SHODAN got all that. You don't know and you especially don't care.

What's important is that everyone has settled in about as well as they can on short notice, and so with the night dragging on yet again, you give the order to make for Alabama.
It's been a while since you've been back home.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1VqSGsbn8w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAK5blgfKWM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2Q0gHA9vXY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p8GXZcdrIk
>>
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If the QM or players are interested at all interested, I'd like to cordially invite you to participate in that greatest of /qst/ community events, the official crossover husbando/waifu (or king & queen) contest! As a long-running, character-driven quest, I thought you folks might be interested in joining the festivities!

Taking nominees now, and for the next four days.

>>5961634
>>
>>5962124
Bro David would sweep, easy. Who can deny the allure of someone who looks like Billy?
>>
>>5962232
>Bro David would sweep, easy.
Karn and his dozen or so kids over the course of his story beg to differ.
>>
>>5962256
Karn is a beefcake no doubt, but David would show him who the boss of this Laotian Buffalo Taming board is.
>>
>>5962265
David's only shot at victory would be a well aimed snap of a towel at the end of Karn's "longsword".
That or he calls in Cylia. Most of Karn's near-lethal wounds come from muscular shortstacks for whatever reason.
>>
>>5962232
Not everyone is interested in Gary Stu's.
>>
>>5962450
David isn't a Gary Stu. He's a marine. He either wins or dies. Simple as.
>>
>>5962274
Hey, only if its in training accidents...they weren't on purpose.
>>
>>5962083

The flight itself doesn't take long, but it becomes significantly rougher than you expected as you start to pass over the Appalachian.
In order to stay under the radar you're forced to fly essentially directly above the ground, which isn't a problem when you're over the great plains, which are extremely flat.

However, once you get into the hills, the only way to stay below the radar is to stay below the tops of the hills... and at the speeds you're moving, it's simply impossible to maneuver in time.

So you just don't.

SHODAN activates your warp drive at a very low level, creating a warp bubble around you that allows you to pass through a certain amount of solid matter... albeit not without turbulence.
Every time you slip through the top of a mountain, the ship rocks and creaks, and your shield capacitors weaken significantly.

According to SHODAN, you can only pass through a certain depth of solid material before your warp bubble collapses and you end up embedded in the rock.
But as long as your capacitors stay charged, it's not an issue. She's also doing her best to pass through as little material as possible, but it's still a bumpy ride.

You explain this to your mother as rough water during a thunderstorm, and assure her that it's nothing to be worried about.
She seems to think it's quite exciting and "feels like such an adventure", so at least she's not upset or anything.

After a few minutes of relatively low-speed flight, you've made it all the way to northern Alabama, and you set down in a clearing in the middle of some woods, far from any locals.
Yeah, the locals... they'd be a problem if you sat down anywhere near a populated area. Unlike the great plains, there's a lot of people out here, and they frequent the woods.

So it's not possible to set down, say, in the woods behind someone's house, or along a river somewhere. You'll definitely be caught by a fisherman or someone fucking their girlfriend.

That also means there's not so much as a trail out here to walk on. You're gonna need a dirtbike if you want to find your way to the highway in a timely manner.
But it's late at night now, and that's something you'd rather deal with tomorrow.

...Actually, there is one last little issue you have to deal with tonight, and that's sleeping arrangements for Gildur.

There's one bed left in the bunk room with Redbone, Sam and your mom taking up the other three.
Sanig's not going to give up his, you know that for a fact, which means Gildur has nowhere to sleep.

The long term plan is honestly just to alternate shifts, with Gildur on a night-time schedule that allows him to share his bunk with Redbone.
For now though, you print Gildur a fairly nice and sturdy hammock for him to spend the night in, and hang it up in the cargo bay next to the dodos.

"Oh... Actually, this is quite nice... I expected it to be more uncomfortable. Thank you, Captain." Gildur tells you.

"Eh, still i feel bad sticking you with this, though. Sorry, man."
>>
>>5962699
>inb4 Gil ends up in our sisters bed. I guess furry lovers run in the family.
>>
>>5962699
He's going to be traumatized when princess goes for a midnight dodo snack snapping bones right next to him in the dark and looking him dead in the eyes like he's going to be next.
>>
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the fuck>>5962083
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>>5963374
>>
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>>5963374
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS SHIT IS A REAL SHOW?!
>>
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>>5963393
It's all been real from the very start, anon.
names and places have been mixed and censored for the safety of those involved
>>
>>5963401
>spoiler
>sanig
>a grey who undoubtedly kidnapped people, has a fondness for unlicensed weaponry, drugs, and sexual promiscuity in spite of being literally dickless
>he's almost guaranteed to be considered a criminal somewhere
Oh. I see. Anagram indeed. :^)
>>
>>5963374
>>5963387
>>5963393
It's not only Bold and the Beautiful, but also Days of Our Lives that have been running probably continuously for 40+ years. I'm impressed that you don't know this already and bless your ignorance of not being subject to midday-TV schedules.
>>
>>5963779
I knew about Days of our Lives, but you can't tell me The Bold and the Beautiful doesn't sound like a fake show name.
>>
>>5963290
Just wait till mutt catches his scent.
>>
>>5963844
I've heard worse thought it does sound like a modern dating show competing with Love Island. It still doesn't sound as outlandish as some others like the old Nickelodeon shows. Rocko's Modern Life, Aaargh! Real Monsters and others. I'm probably showing my age.
>>
>>5962699

Gildur insists that he's fine, and after he climbs up into his hammock, you can't help but think that he looks genuinely comfortable.
He seems quite happy laying there, reading a book on his holopad while listening to the clucking of the dodos he so frequently takes care of.

If he's fine then it's fine, you guess.

When you finally hit the sack, only Cylia is there, already asleep.
Kyla has to stay up a while longer to remove the parts from the fab as it prints, and reload it with copious amounts of graphite for the largely carbon fiber dirtbike you're printing.

Which is fine, her schedule usually has her staying up pretty late, but it's always nice to have both of them beside you.
You've gotten to enjoy that a lot more the past few days, since none of them really want to leave the ship for any reason.

You are getting slightly worried that they're going be cooped up for too long and start to get moody, though.

You slip into bed and begin to doze off. Around an hour later, you're vaguely aware of Kyla slipping into bed with you as well.
Your sleep is oddly dreamless that night, but both deep and satisfying.

By the time you awaken, the rest of your crew is already up and at it.
Apparently they fabricated steak and mac n' cheese for breakfast... which isn't ideal. You'll have to make some breakfast meals for them.

Sam wakes up around the same time you do, quite possibly due to the smell of fried sausages and hashbrowns.
Redbone doesn't wake up until you eventually poke at him to see if he's alive, about two hours later.

He slept for an unusually long time, almost twelve hours.

But he seems bright and raring to go after a couple cups of coffee.

"So, i plan on going around and talking to the local cops, firefighters, EMS... anyone who might respond to a Pickle Incident." You explain to Red and your sister, who are sitting across the table from you.

"Hunter and Buck still live down the road from your old place?" Red asks.

"Probably." You shrug. "SHODAN, you got anyone named Hunter on the local volunteer fire service?"

["Affirmative, Captain. He, along with his wife, appear to be captain and vice captain of their station."]

"Good for him!". Red smiles.

"What about Buck?" Sam asks, sounding curious.

["He appears to be a part time construction worker."]

"Still? Goddamn, he's too old for that shit." You sigh, shaking your head.

Buck is the older of the two brothers. He must be fifty something by now, so you figured he'd either be retired or in a different line of work.

"So you gonna talk to Hunter, or what should i do?" Red asks.

>Might as well get Redbone's help for this. Nothing stopping him from asking around, and he knows some of the people around here.
>Hell, why not get everyone on it? This is technically your home turf, and you're sure Sam doesn't want to stay stuck on the ship.
>You'd rather do all the asking yourself. You wouldn't want to miss any potential clues as to his whereabouts.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5964264

>Might as well get Redbone's help for this. Nothing stopping him from asking around, and he knows some of the people around here.
>>
>>5964264
>Might as well get Redbone's help for this. Nothing stopping him from asking around, and he knows some of the people around here.

It'll be fine.
>>
>>5964264
>>Might as well get Redbone's help for this. Nothing stopping him from asking around, and he knows some of the people around here.
>>
>>5964264
Huevos rancheros, omelets, bacon, sausage rolls, eggs Benedict, cereal, waffles, pancakes, muffins, uhhh that's all I can think of.
>>
>>5964264
If we're bringing anyone else, let's at least bring SHODAN. She's got access to our memories and enough processing power to backdoor the entire planet, she'll know the signs to look for.
>>5964433
Grits, biscuits and gravy, breakfast burritos, kolaches, and donuts.
>>
>>5964264
>>Might as well get Redbone's help for this. Nothing stopping him from asking around, and he knows some of the people around here.
>>
>>5964264
>>Apparently they fabricated steak and mac n' cheese for breakfast... which isn't ideal. You'll have to make some breakfast meals for them
They are adults and their moms are not here.
Also
>Get all the humans. Sam will take her mom for a little shopping trip, cute.
>>
>>5964264

"It'll go faster with three of us." You decide. "Red, you can go find Buck, wherever he's at, and i'll talk to Hunter. SHODAN, you go talk to the cops. I'm sure you can charm the information out of them"

["Very well, Captain."]

You hear a thud from the other room as SHODAN's gynoid drops out of it's charging pod and starts walking it's way over to the airlock.

["Captain, i believe it would be prudent to produce one or two more gynoids for specialized use cases, such as this."] She adds.

"Such as?"

["A disposable body suitable for ranged combat, or in the case that collecting information necessitated intercourse with the target, i believe you would prefer my main body not be used."]

"...You would go that far just to get information out of someone?"

["I am neither biological in nature nor inclined to experience romantic feelings towards an individual, and as such, physical relations hold no emotional value to me."]

Both of Sam's eyebrows raise up in surprise and she immediately look away from you.

"Oh yeah? I'm not so sure about that, SHODAN." You poke. "Sometimes i see a little emotion poke through. Not all of it is just emulated, if you ask me."

["Unlikely, Captain. A lesser AI may have some unique personality or be prone to emotional outburst, but such things are considered defects, and i am quite a high-class AI."]

"Sounds like you're quite proud of that." You point out. "Isn't pride an emotion?"

["I am simply stating a fact, Captain."]

"Alright. Well, you're a big girl." You tell her, rapping your knuckles against the wall. "I can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do, so it's up to you."

["Of course you can, Captain. I will refrain from using any method that may make you uncomfortable."]

Uh huh. No emotional value, sure. And yet she doesn't want to make you upset.
You simply shrug and sip your coffee.

Redbone on the other hand, leans over and whispers to you.

"Does that mean she's slutty? Asking for a friend."

"Don't make me whoop your ass, Red."

...

You spend about an hour together with Kyla assembling the dirt bike you had printed last night.
It's got titanium bones, but the bulk of it is carbon fiber, so it's super lightweight but still pretty tough.

Interestingly, it's also got airless tires.

"Did you change that?" You ask Kyla.

"Yeah! I've spent hours looking at all sorts of videos about human engineering. You guys make stuff i could never even think of, all to keep it working in insanely harsh environments...
I think i understand why everything you design is so overbuilt and tough, now. If it was on earth, or being swung around and abused by a human, of course it would need to be like that!"

"Well, yeah. But uh... don't these things kinda suck? You know we're gonna be running over rocks and roots and shit, right?"
>>
>>5964898
>"Does that mean she's slutty? Asking for a friend."
Does he not realize that while we're in here she's literally right next to him at all times? Damn Boner, you probably only ever pick up Thai bitches while on deployment. Zero game.
>>
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>>5964898
>A disposable body suitable for ranged combat
I have just the thing! Just one?
For bigger guns, a Tachikoma (Ghost in the Shell) with a large gun mounted "Vespa 150 TAP" style would be pretty funny, too.
>>
>>5965031
slutty doesn't really apply when the other person is effectively a sociopath. a functional one, but a sociopath nonetheless. and the answer is yes. she's already a voyeur, so a bit more of degeneracy isn't exactly new for her
>>
>>5965056
Whether she is or isn't doesn't matter, what matters is he just called a lady a slut while essentially standing right next to her. He's got no pull is what I'm saying. Or as the kids today say, no "rizz".
>>
>>5965049
I was thinking of a sort of a middle ground between the two actually. Some quick specs and concepts...
>tripedal/quadrepal for stable firing positions on most surfaces (and electromagnets in the foot pad)
>skeletonized frame for weight saving and reduced material cost (they're supposed to be disposable after all)
>360 degree optics package
>wide spectrum sensor array
>"universal" manipulators (for making use of scavenged weapons)
>built-in high caliber precision rifle and high wattage laser emitter (primary and auxiliary weapons reespectively)
>internal high explosive charge (suicide bomb)
>battery operated (can also be plugged into external power sources for long term operations)
>foldable (for storage purposes)
>CO2 thrusters (for 3D movement in zero gravity)
>>
>>5964898
>I don't think I am perfect, captain.
>I AM perfect, captain.
I am lazy, can another anon use one of those ai voice programs and make SHODAN say stuff from the quest? Like "David, it's 4 am time for my feeding session" idk
>>
>>5964898
>If it was on earth, or being swung around and abused by a human, of course it would need to be like that!"
Kyla is very overengineered herself if you know what I mean.
>>
>>5965172
What's she supposed to sound like again? Jen Taylor as Cortana, right?
>>
>>5965200
Mixed with actual SHODAN but yeah
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>>5965113
we could use the metroid dread robots. they pretty much check all the points in the list, bus they're creepy as fuck, for extra points
>>
>>5965650
that shit looks made by AI. And if it isn't, some guy made the 3d assets and then pasted them together because the composition makes no sense. Samus in the front, sliding down a horizontal platorm, looking and pointing forward, her left arm twisted as if she were laying down on a matress and not bracing against the massive (¿?) friction that creates sparks. Her shoulder would be out of the socket... anyway, the robot is climbing some imaginary stairs, twisting to the right and staring to the distance because it found an enemy or something, nowhere near Samus
>>
>>5964898

"Normally they do have some issues, yes... but between all the weird materials you human have created and the nanofab, it's nothing i can't fix!"

Kyla then goes on a long ramble about tension and flexibility and all the layers of different materials she used, most of which goes in one ear and out the other.
You gather two things from this. One, these tires are much stiffer, springier and tougher than regular airless tires, and two, there's no fucking way to make them without a nanofab.

They would also probably cost tens of thousands of dollars each, even if you could. Thank fuck for the fabs, honestly.

Once it's gassed up you roll the dirtbike down the cargo ramp and out into the woods, which in this area are only almost impassable due to the thick underbrush.
Red follows you outside not long after, along with SHODAN.

"So where's mine?" He asks, looking around for a second bike that doesn't exist.

You snort and jump onto the bike, then point at the seat behind you.

"Guess who's riding bitch?"

"Aw, goddamnit. Well what about her?"

Red points at SHODAN, who leans against the back of your bike with her arms crossed.

"Well, first off she weighs like three hundred fuckin' pounds, and secondly, she doesn't need a bike."

"I will be running along behind the two of you, Mister Masterson." She clarifies.

"She won't get tired, don't worry about it." You assure him. "You on the other hand, should have worn a jacket. You're gonna get cut to hell riding through these bushes."

"Hell i'm sure i'll be fine. Come on then, let's go if we're gonna go." He says, hopping up onto the saddle.

"If you say so."

...

He was not, in fact, fine.
Being so late in the year, the bushes have mostly lost their leaves. Red ends up covered in scrapes and scratches by the time you make it out of the woods.

"Goddamn, finally." Red cusses, rubbing the cuts on his arms and legs.

"That's gonna itch for a while, huh?" You grin.

"Shut up."

Moments later, SHODAN busts through the bushes behind you.
There are scrapes along her exposed skin as well, but it doesn't really matter.

"You have a stick in your hair." You point out to her.

"Thank you, Captain." She says, casually removing it.

"How's the energy consumption?" You ask.

"Satisfactory. After studying your form, i have created an optimized running technique. There should be no issues." She replies.

"Alright, let's see how well you can keep up then!"

You pull back on the throttle and ride up onto the highway, which is pretty sparse with traffic this time of day.
At first you take it slow at around 10mph, but SHODAN has no trouble keeping up.

Slowly and steadily you increase the pace, first to 15, then 20, then 25... until eventually, SHODAN is sprinting right behind you at over 35mph.
Which, well. It would put Usain Bolt to shame for sure... but more than that, it's a sustained running speed, not a short sprint.
>>
>>5966191
Note to self, get SHODAN her own bike so she doesn't cause a scene sprinting down the highway like the T-1000.
>>
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>>5966204
Scaroused.
>>
Oh yeah happy Easter to all you heathens in the thread. And you too Cochrane.
>>
>>5966191
we just need to give her the Portal leg braces, and she'll be fine with jumping and running.
>>
>>5966555
I think we should build her a high performance combat frame at some point. Yes, I know that her current body is state of the art (and that she just suggested we make her some disposable frames) but stay with me here. Her current body, while extremely lethal, was designed with general utility in mind. It CAN be used to great effect in combat, but it's not purpose built for it. To that end, I suggest we make her one that is.
I'm talking something that completely forgoes the non-combat considerations of her current frame and instead focuses entirely on being rugged, deadly, and fucking terrifying. I think our Power Armor designs are a good place to start. The first thing we'd need to do is nix all the features that revolve around keeping the meat inside of it alive (obviously). Then you carve away the other non-essentials, ridiculously over-engineer whatever's left, and start cramming in all the weapons, armor, and sensors you can think of. Just imagine it. It'd be glorious.
>>
so, anons, how are your investments going?
>>
>>5966788
Seems easy enough to game during the quiet times of 4ch. Managed to get 26k so far but you gotta get in on that next update tick
>>
>>5966788
Like all things in my life, rotting, dwindling, inexorably falling into the obliterating entropy that swallows bodies, minds, and dreams whole. Dissolving into a formless mass of despair and encroaching death. Only to be blown away in the ephemeral breeze of time. Forgotten and lost as all things will be.

I found a sick ass rock on the side of the road the other day though. So that collection just got a little more valuable.
>>
>>5966788
I just went all in on Anime when it hit $1.
TO THE MOON
>>
>>5966191

There is no lactic acid buildup in her muscles, no lack of ATP, no overheating, no weakened nerves. You aren't even sure what the contraction rate of her artificial muscles are, but it's pretty quick.
The only thing slowing her down is her own weight, due to her duranium skeleton, and the amount of energy stored in the capacitor gel inside said bones.

One the capacitor gel is depleted, some ten minutes later, her speed drops to around 15mph.
However, if she rests for a while, her internal battery slowly charges the caps back up, and she's able to sprint again, just as quickly and as long as the first time. Over and over again.

Your trip is by no means fast. More akin to a leisurely sunday drive, but it does get you somewhere.

You manage to find a place to turn off and get onto the back streets before too many people start trying to take photos of SHODAN running.
It takes around half an hour to reach the general area you want to start looking around in after that. When you do, you pull over and give SHODAN a rest.

"Still doing good, SHODAN?" You ask.

"Not quite, Captain."

Oh. That's surprising, actually.

"What's the problem?'

"...I believe i am dehydrated." She tells you.

"What."

"My artificial skin has been dissipating heat by sweating. However, without a mass of blood or internal organs, there is simply not much water available to do so."

"Okay. So what happens if you don't get any water?" You ask.

"My body temperature will rise with continued operation until my skin begins to cook."

"Holy shit. Alright, let's find you an unattended garden hose or something..."

"There is no need for concern, Captain. My mechanical components will not overheat in an atmospheric environment, only the skin will be damaged."

"Yeah but that skin is fucking expensive... and parts of it are irreplaceable. Actually, all of it is irreplaceable while we're on earth."

"Very well, Captain."

While you look around for a house with a spigot you can steal from, you place your hand on SHODAN's arm and feel that she is in fact quite warm, and slightly moist.
Like someone who's been working in the sun for a few hours, but she's just a little misty rather than drenched in sweat.

You honestly forget sometimes that her skin is genuinely alive and not just some really good synthetic material.
It requires a little more care than just... feeding it on occasion.

...

"Captain, i am detected several toxic compounds mixed into the water supply at this location." SHODAN complains.

"It's not toxic, it's hose water. That's just extra vinyl flavoring." You assure her.

"I see. You genuinely enjoy the flavor of "hose water", don't you, Captain?'

"Eyup, tastes like childhood. Ain't that right, Red?'

"Hell yeah, boy. Reminds me of all those summers we spent playing in the dirt."

"Yep... now let's get the hell out of here before we get shot for trespassing. Bama's castle law AND stand your ground."

"Good idea." Red agrees.
>>
Screw all muh optimized combat frames.
Make a small vehicle with TANK THREADS and a BIG GUN and amazing optics with a mini dark matter particle to power it up. Why tf are you bunch thinking on humanoid terms!? If we have a situation where we need big guns, we need big guns damn it!
>>
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>>5966956
and it will have a 270° laser turret to shot down drones, burn security cameras, burn the eyes of pilots that think they are safe because they fly above 5.000mt... UV the fuck out of soldier's corneas in the field... Yeah, we need a HWP heavy weapons platform

MK.I can be these charming fellows that fold themselves for storage, have a battery life of less than an hour and carry friggin' roggets. They are MODULAR and display excellent LETHALITY, being a FORCE MULTIPLIER for any ground troops that need to clear a building or fight in the open field.
>>
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MK II will be a bigger version, duh, that will have awesome top speeds, ammo for days and a huge battery...
>>
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MK. III is kinda gay but it flies, will have a hardlight front-facing shield, ship shield bubble and a ship laser weapon. Remember when David fired a ship weapon indoors? When he was hunting down that weapons junkie that could've been another crewmate but Cochrane seemingly forgot about her? When the hardlight shield debuted?
>>
>>5966956
what if it needs to go up stairs?
>>
>>5966725
We should build her a C-6 or C-12 platform from CoD: Infinite Warfare, those things are cool and Ethan is best bro.
>>
>>5966956
>Make a small vehicle with TANK THREADS and a BIG GUN
I'd like for it to be able to operate indoors and inside most vessels, so size is still a concern.
>>
>>5966973
we blow them up
>>
>>5967014
how does that get it up the stairs?
>>
>>5967020
...
>:(
>>
>>5966956
hell yeah
>>
>>5967020
something something... Sanig & SHODAN's anti-gravity gen... and... jump... thing...
>>
Testing...
>>
>>5966946
>"I see. You genuinely enjoy the flavor of "hose water", don't you, Captain?'
>"Eyup, tastes like childhood. Ain't that right, Red?'
>"Hell yeah, boy. Reminds me of all those summers we spent playing in the dirt."
Hell yeah indeed.
>>
>>5967062
it worked?
>>
>>5967402
You better believe it.
>>
>>5967402
>>5967407
I refuse to partake
>>
>>5967424
stay poor then
>>
It's fate that the one that made me rich was gachi.
>>
>>5966946

After SHODAN (and you) have had your fill of water, you continue along the backroads until you near the local police station, where you part ways with SHODAN.
No longer bound by any sort of speed limit (those sheet metal signs don't mean anything) you quickly make your way from there over to your old stomping grounds.

A small neighborhood that uh...
Oh, wow.

Yeah, the neighborhood isn't so small anymore. It's been a long time since you've been to this place, and a few people seem to have moved in.
Actually, there are entire new neighborhoods in place of the corn and cottonfields you passed by every day growing up.

Only the cow pastures seem to be completely untouched.

"Damn, who the hell are all these people?" You wonder.

"Gentrifiers. Folks moved out here from the cities during and after the pandemic, cause it was cheaper." Redbone explains.

"Great." You sigh.

Even in places where whole fields haven't been bought up and turned into HOA neighborhoods, you still see things like tiny houses or ugly-ass copy and pasted row housing here and there.
You can still see the old homes and businesses wherever you go, but it looks nothing like it once did.

However, all that fades away the farther you get from the highway, until only the "heart of the community" remains.

Very, very old farmhouses and block buildings, often tucked away near the woods or even up in the hills as you near the tennessee border.
The smell of cars and asphalt is overtaken by the scent of the forest, and of the creeks that run through the area.

This is where you lived, growing up.

A place full of memories both good and bad, and a place that you ended up leaving after you "retired".
As you pull up to Buck and Hunter's house, you're surprised to see a garage next door surrounded by beat-up old cars, and swarming with melanated gentlemen blasting some bass-heavy music.

...Kind of surprising. This place used to be a sundown town.

"Goddamn, Gunny. This place done turned into a fuckin' ghetto." Red comments.

"Well, at least they're working." You shrug.

The lawn in front of the garage is covered in cars, but there's a fenced in area behind the garage that's absolutely packed with them.
Clearly it's not a minor operation, so they must be doing this for a living. Just odd to have it all the way out here.

"Probably a goddamned chop shop." Red insists.

"Whatever, Red. It's not our problem even if it is." You tell him, ushering him towards your old friend's house.

"You got a 20mm cannon on that ship o' yours, doncha?"

You manage to drag him onto the porch and knock on their door. It takes a minute for someone to answer.
Hunter and Buck are at work, so the one who answers ends up being... not Hunter's wife, but another woman. Short and portly, with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and toddler hanging onto her waist.

She opens the door just enough to show you the glock in her hand, and the chain keeping it from opening fully.
>>
>>5968063
>She opens the door just enough to show you the glock in her hand, and the chain keeping it from opening fully.
There's that Southern Hospitality I keep hearing so much about. Probably wouldn't be such a bad idea to ask what has her so spooked before we leave.
>>
>>5968078
If I have to hazard a guess it's probably living next to Pookie and Ray-Ray from the Chop Shop next door
>>
>>5968063
Is it safe to guess that she was wearing a thin shirt and no bra, so I can see the outline of her mother nipples and saggy breasts?
>>
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>>5968276
>>
>>5968063

"Who is it?" She asks.

"David and Redbone, Hunter and Buck's old friends."

"Uh huh. Whadda ya want with 'em?" She asks curtly.

"We're trying to meet up with our old friends. We moved up north some years ago, and this is the first time we've been back in a while." You explain.

"I'm finna head over to the firehouse in a minute here to see Hunter. He's still working over there, right?" Redbone asks.

The woman takes a looooong drag off her cigarette before answering.

"Uh huh." Is her reply.

"Uh... well, do you know where Buck's at? I heard he's still working construction." You ask.

"...Gimme a minute." She says, shutting the door tightly. You hear her lock it behind her.

A few minutes pass. At some point one of her kids starts crying, and that's all you can hear through the door.
Eventually though, she comes back and opens the door wide, this time without a gun in her hand.

"He's over on moore's mill road, they're doing framing today." She tells you.

"Thanks, miss. Ah, i didn't catch your name, sorry about that."

You offer your hand for a shake, and she accepts.

"I'm Mandy, Buck's wife. Nice to meet you."

"You too. Is Hunter still living here?"

"Nah, he moved out after me and Buck got married. He lives a couple streets down from here."

"Ah, alright. Thank you. Take care, now!"

"Y'all do too!" She yells, waving as she closes her door. "And tell my husband to stay out of the sun, would you?"

"Sure thing!"

...

"Well, she was nice." Red comments.

"Yep. Good for him, he needed a woman." You agree.

As you continue on your way towards the firehouse, you see a group of mexicans installing plastic sheathing on the side of a trailer that used to belong to one of your neighbors.

"Guess they moved out, huh?" You guess.

"Garcia was always drunk, she probably split up with him."

"Maybe. Just wonder who all these folks are."

A young mexican woman opens the trailer door and lets a doberman pinscher out to piss.
Garcia's kids all looked pretty white, so either that's someone from his side of the family or an unrelated group.

Either way, it looks like it's all mexicans living over there now.

Part of the reason you left in the first place was because of them. Not mexicans specifically, but those with dubious ties back to mexico.
The cartel, in all likelihood.

You don't know why they chose this area to move into, or if it's just this area and not a wider problem, but it is a problem.
They were always nice enough to you, if not a bit obnoxious with their loud-ass music, but that's just until they decide to slice your grandmother's face off to make a point.

Besides that, crime was already on the rise. Lots of drugs and theft in what used to be a very safe neighborhood.

You didn't want your sister and mother staying at home alone in a place like that, even if you know they'd blast anyone who tried to kick their door in.
Some of your boys, like Redbone, were already moving up north... so you just went with them and settled down.
>>
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>>5968839
>but that's just until they decide to slice your grandmother's face off to make a point.
>>
You don't shit where you eat, ese.
>>
>>5968839

It was quiet up there, which you liked. Maybe a little more sparse of people than you were expecting, but it wasn't so bad.
The weather was a lot better, too. You always liked winter more than summer... only so many layers you can take off until you're laying butt-ass naked in a pool of your own sweat.

You do miss it here sometimes, though.

Or rather, you miss the people you used to know here.
A lot of them are gone now. Old age, mostly.

...

On your way to the firehouse, you go out of your way to drop Redbone off at the construction site Buck's wife mentioned.
Red immediately runs off to wave down the first person he sees. You're sure he'll find who he's looking for in no time.

Now, with nobody else on the bike, you can finally pick up some real speed.

You aren't sure exactly what kind of motor this is running, since you left the design mostly up to SHODAN and the printing to Kyla, but it's fast.
Faster than any dirtbike really should be, to be honest. And the smell of the exhaust... you think there's nitromethane mixed into the fuel.

It's a lot of fun, leaning through the winding curves of these old back roads.
You got chased by the cops down roads like these more than once, but you were taking half of these turns going sideways, and they weren't.

You did once end up "hiding" in a cornfield doing shit like that, though.

It doesn't take long to reach the volunteer fire department, and the parking lot is mostly empty when you pull in.
You try to enter through the front door, but find it locked.

>Just give it a knock and see if anybody lets you in.
>They're probably sleeping or something. You bet the back door is unlocked.
>They'll definitely answer if you call the station directly. SHODAN can patch you through.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5969582
>Just give it a knock and see if anybody lets you in.
David "Normal Person" Rockefeller.
>>
>>5969582
>Just give it a knock and see if anybody lets you in.
>>
>>5969582
>Just give it a knock and see if anybody lets you in.
>>
>>5969582
>Just give it a knock and see if anybody lets you in.
>>
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>>5969582
>Just give it a knock and see if anybody lets you in.
"I'm here for Hunter, Biden's kid. He's me big-time"
>>
>>5969922
"He owes me big-time"
fix
>>
>>5969582
>Just give it a knock and see if anybody lets you in.

Stillno callback from Mr. President.
>>
>>5969922
>"Fuck off, we told you glowing faggots he left a couple weeks ago!"
I'd piss myself laughing.
>>
>>5969582
>>Just give it a knock and see if anybody lets you in.
>>
>>5969582

You decide to simply knock on the door like a regular human being. Chances are, if someone's in there they'll come to the door.
So that's exactly what you do. To the tune of "shave and a haircut", and you wait.

Nobody comes to the door, but after about 20 seconds, the keypad below the handle beeps and the door unlocks by itself.

...Something don't feel right.

The door creaks open just a crack, but you can't see anyone walking around inside through the little square window in the door.
You wait a whole minute or two, and nobody comes to greet you, nor do you hear any noise coming from inside.

Your hand instinctively finds it's way to the 1911 on your hip as you push the door open and carefully walk through.

The lights are on inside, but wherever you look, nobody seems to be home.
Until a man in a suit walks out of the station's kitchen with his hands behind his back.

You immediately draw and prepare to put a round through his head, knowing that he's either wearing a vest, or the suit itself is bulletproof.
However, he doesn't move, and instead slowly puts his hands up in the air to show that he's unarmed. Or at least, he doesn't have anything visible in his hand.

"Who?" You ask.

"Special agent Miller, CIA." He replies.

"Where's the crew?"

"Out on a call." He smiles.

These fuckers set a fire somewhere just to clear out the station.
You sharpen your senses as much as possible, but you don't hear or see anyone else in the station.

No way he's alone, though.

"How did you know where i was going?"

"You don't need to know that." He asserts.

Your grip tightens on the trigger just slightly.

"I'll fuckin' decide what i need to know." You reply.

Miller raises his hands just a bit higher and nods, noting your aggressiveness.

"In any case, i'm not at liberty to say."
>Tell me how you found me. I won't ask again.
>I gave you my number. If you wanted to contact me, you should have used it.
>Give me one good reason i shouldn't just blow your brains out right here and now.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5970319
>I gave you my number. If you wanted to contact me, you should have used it.
>>
I gave you my number jackass
>>
>>5970319
>I gave you my number. If you wanted to contact me, you should have used it.
>>
>>5970319
>I gave you my number. If you wanted to contact me, you should have used it.
>Now what the fuck was so urgent you couldn't talk to me about it over the phone?
>>
>>5970319
>I gave you my number. If you wanted to contact me, you should have used it.

>>5970324
we sent one of their more like twice removed cousins boys to space and took out their eye in the process. this could have been way worse
>>
>>5970319
>I gave you my number. If you wanted to contact me, you should have used it.
>Withdraw

Its a Spook, Pull out.
>>
>>5970319
>I gave you my number. If you wanted to contact me, you should have used it.
>Give me one good reason i shouldn't just blow your brains out right here and now.

> I know you guys are a bunch of unpatriotic killers. You killed JFK and you moved crack cocaine into the usa.
>>
>>5970418
>Call shodan for back up. Maybe kylia in space armor. I doubt he's the only glownigger here. We probably need a evac.
>>
>>5970319
Too broke to own a cellphone? Noy even a dollar for the payphone booth?

I ain't going to mill about mr. Miller, your broke ass isn't worth the breath I draw to tell you to fuck off.
>>
>>5970423
Budget cuts. Poor alphabet boys are starving since all the funds went to the Space Force. Pour one out for our glowing homies may they rest in piss.
>>
>>5970319
>I gave you my number. If you wanted to contact me, you should have used it.
>Withdraw

Shoot him if we have to.
>>
>>5970433
+1
They should have called us
>>
>>5970319
>I gave you my number. If you wanted to contact me, you should have used it.
GTFO right now.
They had days to prepare for this encounter, and while they want to talk now, if they feel they can take us, they will. This talk is just to keep us in place, determine the threat we pose and our usefulness as an asset, willing or otherwise. The shit we pulled likely impressed them enough that they pulled out all the stops to camp out every place we're likely to visit, everyone we're likelyto look for. It'd also doesn't take a genius to know that their tech can't be trusted given our technological edge. The biggest question is if they had made any inroads on telepathy (via Smith) during this time.
They'll say anything, truth or lies, to keep this conversation going. While we're in a place of their choosing we are at a disadvantage. GTFO, fast.
>>
>>5970479
you know what's more worrying? SHODAN didn't alert us.
>>
>>5970481
Because SHODAN relies completely on technology as her eyes and ears. Just avoid any tech with connectivity and she likely won't be able to know who you are or what you're up to. In the middle of the sticks, that's most people, so a spook will likely fly under the radar that way, particularly if there are decoys not doing any of the above to draw attention away.
>>
>>5970484
But surely the fire call was done through channels Shodan could monitor?
Unless they cut off the whole station and connected directly through the landline cables?
>>
>>5970484
even then, having an analog operation this big and this efficient to the point that it managed to be undetected to an alien AI is impressive
>>
>>5970433
This.
>+1
>>
>>5970319
>I gave you my number. If you wanted to contact me, you should have used it.
"Give me a reason to stick around here, or I'll continue on my way and you will not interfere or so help me."
>>
>>5970610
>"Give me a reason to stick around here
Well, the possible sniper sounds like a pretty good reason.
>>
>>5970614
They need us alive, though they may try to use someone we know as leverage over us. If they knew to camp out here for us, you can expect there will be people waiting for Redbone and SHODAN, and our known associates (those that they could find) snatched.
I think I know which ones they'll think are expendable, the question is, which ones do we think are expendable, if any?
>>
>>5970319
>>BLAM BLAM BLAM
>>RUN THE FUCK OUT OF THERE
>>>SHODAN GET REDBONE GET THE SHIP
>>>BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BOOM BOOM BOOM KABOOOOOOM
>>SHIIIT OOOH FUUUCK
>>?????
Profit.

This is my vote, I am not joking. I am NOT having David utter one more word, I am NOT having David get fucked by a basic bitch diversionary tactic.
>>
>>5970619
Surely they've done a threat assessment on us and this is just their way of a friendly chat.
Otherwise this path leads to rocks falling from the sky

>>5970479
>>5970610
this
>>
Anon, there is no point in talking with agent Miller. He is WAY below the one David should talk with. When has a field agent NOT being disposable? Run, we must.
>>
>>5970798
we're already inside the trap. i bet there are already several hidden gunmen aiming at whatever window and door we could get out from. the best thing we can do right now is to not be retarded and hear him out. at least inside here we only need to fight him and we have cover
>>
>>5970614
True. They would or should be aware by now that a sniper shot will be escalated to more people being dumped in space, or their mental extrapolation goes further to getting their shit wrecked with orbital bombardment like
>>5970794

>>5970798
>>5970897
I only want David to hear this agent's first line to go "OK, lets chat" or "nope, fuck off now or I'll get you gone the hard way, and if you're lucky the family won't get touched"
David is former Marines special forces. I trust he knows what the spooks he might have worked with can and cannot promise.
>>
>>5970319

"SHODAN." You announce loudly. "We have a situation here. Eyes and ears, please."

Miller doesn't react and simply continues to smile at you.
Either he's putting on a poker face, or he's very well aware of how alone you are.

"...I gave you my number, spook. If you wanted to contact me, you should have used it." You tell him.

"Ah, but you're the type who prefers to do things in person, aren't you mister Rockefeller?" He grins.

It's true. You could have had done all this over the phone, but you wanted to be here to talk to these people face to face.
It's more meaningful that way. More impactful. And you're much more likely to keep a conversation going, and to get what you want.

Agent Miller slowly lower his arms, slipping one hand into his jacket.
You're not having that. You adjust your aim just slightly, and with a loud bang, you put a new piercing through his ear.

Miller pauses as blood begins to drip down onto his shoulder, and then pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket.
Lighting one up, he takes a deep drag before returning his attention to you.

"...Want one?" he offers?

You ignore him, unblinking, keeping your aim centered clearly on the bridge of his nose.

"Well, here i am, mister Rockefeller. In person." He says, putting his cigarettes away. "So why don't we chat?"

["Captain, there are no electronics in the building, except those belonging to the station crew. I have detected no abnormal activity in any government facilities, either."]

Miller takes another long drag from his cigarette and stares down at your holowatch.

"Did you think we wouldn't notice?" Miller says calmly. "Pretty impressive what you did. Every phone, computer and IOT device in the world in the palm of your hands, huh?"

He turns his gaze to an office chair next to a folding table nearby, and points at it with his cigarette.

"You mind if i take a seat?" He asks.

He's really starting to piss you off, which is probably his intention.

"Sit. If you move again, i'll blow your kneecaps off." You order.

He nods with a smile and walks over to take a seat, sighing as he sits down.
He crosses his legs and leans against the folding table as he continues to talk.

"It was well hidden, for sure, but there were discrepancies. Even if the numbers all read the same in software, in reality, there was more code on the disks than before. And it was changing all the time.
There were other signs, of course. Wasn't hard to notice a sudden 5% jump in global power consumption. Like a parasite sucking the life out of us somehow. And then we lost control of our satellites."

For the first time, he drops that fake smile of his and stares you straight in the eye.

"It's not just some virus, is it, mister Rockefeller? You have a true AI on your hands, don't you?"

>Yeah, that's right.
>Sorry, i'm not at liberty to say.
>I'll be asking the questions, spook. (Write-ins)
>Write-In?
>>
>>5970985
Ok let's play this game. Miller scratches our back with questions if David scratches his.

>Yeah, that's right.
"There's nothing you can do about it or against it, short of disconnecting everything and you can't afford it"
"Now you know I'm looking for people, help me find them and we keep out of each other's hair. Interfere with this mission and you'll be losing more of those satellites"
David means business. We've already been nuked, encountered the glowing van, the space force guy that got orbited. They can't afford anymore.
>>
>>5970985
>"Correct, she is also one of my girlfriends and a very sweet lady that gets along with my mom, whom you likely and correctly assumed is listening in"
>"You don't have a say in whether or not that is a problem. Nor do your handlers."
>>
>>5970985
>Write-In
let's get the duck out of here. If he wants to talk he can call us.
>>
>>5970985
>Sorry, I'm not at liberty to say.
>You want answers? Stay the fuck out of my business and call that number.
>Now tell the rest of your team to stand down. I'm leaving, do not follow me.
>>
>>5970991
+1
>>
>>5970991
>>5971080
>"there's nothing you can--"
That's how you get bitten in the ass. The fact that he's even aware of the hallmarks of a true AI would suggest otherwise.

Remember, it's an HFY quest, not a GFY quest.
>>
>>5970985
>Yeah, that's right.
Let's see where he's going with this. Remember, we're only the best combatant.
>>
>>5970985
>>5970991
>support
>+ shodan look up this Miller dude. I want his whole dossier. Look up his boss.

>Two can play this game. turn off all the nsa fusion centers. Brick the data in an encryption.
>get all undercover officers dossiers. Threaten to leak it to China and Russia.

>you don't have leverage here. I can easily destroy your whole organization. And you can't touch me. So either you answer my questions or things start going very very bad for you glowniggers.
>>
at least this will be a learning experience
>>
>>5970985
>sorry im not at a liberty to say

Also, to all the other anons that want to chimp out immediately. We're tipping our hand hard and we still dont know what the spooks are capable of doing. We're still on neutral grounds; lets not give them a reason to retaliate against us
>>
This dude just got shot in his ear and didn't even flinch? Not from the gunshot in an enclosed space or the sudden missing bits of ear?

This guy is obviously a fucking reptillian. Or someone with some serious goddamn issues. Or he's drugged out of his mind, that's always an option.
>>
>>5970985
>Sorry, I'm not at liberty to say.
>You want answers? Stay the fuck out of my business and call that number.
>Now tell the rest of your team to stand down. I'm leaving, do not follow me.
the fuck are you guys doing?
>>
>>5970991
>"There's nothing you can do about it or against it[...]"
>"[...]Interfere with this mission and you'll be losing more of those satellites"
That is a great way to get them to try something very stupid.
In my mind, the best thing we can do right now is keep these fuckers in the dark as much as possible.
That and make it clear that the line we gave them is still open (and the only way they should even consider getting in touch with us)
>>
>>5970985
>An Ai, Like one of those video games?
or

>Sorry, i'm not at liberty to say.
>>
>>5971172
Supporting
>>
>>5970985
Switching >>5971095 to
>Sorry, I'm not at liberty to say.
>>
>>5970985
>Sorry, i'm not at liberty to say.
get glowed on, glowie
>>
>>5970985
Unrelated, but this reminds me of the linux backdoor vulnerability that was discovered because his test response times were 500 miliseconds longer than usual. Now we're trying to find which government tried and partially failed to do the funni
>>
>>5970985
Supporting too, I guess >>5971172
Stay out of my hair, and I'll stay out of yours (for now).

Not that fed types ever take a hint, or could ever admit they're wrong.

>>5971354
>500 miliseconds longer than usual
That's half a second, a very long time in computing terms...
>>
>>5970985
>"It was well hidden, for sure, but there were discrepancies. Even if the numbers all read the same in software, in reality, there was more code on the disks than before. And it was changing all the time.
>There were other signs, of course. Wasn't hard to notice a sudden 5% jump in global power consumption. Like a parasite sucking the life out of us somehow. And then we lost control of our satellites."

hey, my idea, nice
>>
>>5970985
>Write-In?
What do you want? What can you offer me?
>>
>>5971183
Good point, but I'm curious on what they know and maybe what else Miller will let slip.
>>
>>5970985
>Write-in
>Consider this. I have, in my hand, a gun pointed at the electronics of the entire world. Logistics supply chains, banking. Entire world goes poof if I snap my fingers. What exactly do you want?
>>
>>5972014
+1
>>
>>5972014
OoooOh I like this!
>+1 to THIS
>>
>>5972014
I'll back it, put the fear of god in them
>>
>>5972014
I'll change my vote to support this.
>>5971108
>>
>>5970985

"I'm not at liberty to say." You growl.

Miller chuckles.

"Now, now, marine. No need to be petty. I assure you-"

"First off, i'm not a marine anymore." You announce, cutting him off. "I'm half and half on whether i'm even a US citizen at this point, so keep it fucking straight."

You lower your pistol, causing Miller to raise his brow.

"And secondly... SHODAN, if he tries anything, or you notice anything even slightly odd, i want you to send this whole goddamned planet back to the stone age."

["Captain?"]

"Fry every microchip, blow up every transformer, hell, launch nukes if you can reach 'em."

Miller's expression darkens.

"Calm down, mister Rockefeller. There's no need for that." He chuckles nervously.

"Oh yes there is. It's my finger on the big red fuckin' button, cocksucker. Whatever you're planning, whatever you want out of me, you'd better not forget it."

Holstering your weapon, you throw your hands out at your sides and stick your chest out.

"What is it? Got a sniper outside waiting to pop me? Gonna swarm this place with agents as soon as i leave? Gonna try to threaten me somehow? I don't fuckin' think so."

Miller quickly flicks his cigarette away and puts his hands up in the air once again. He almost stands, but remembers your warning earlier and firmly stays in his seat.

"...I promise that we have no such intentions, mister Rockefeller. We simply came here to discuss things. Set boundaries, determine what precisely it is that you want from us, and what we can give you in exchange."

"First off, stop fuckin' following me. If i want you to know something, i'll tell you. Otherwise, you don't need to fuckin' know. Are we clear?"

"Absolutely. We'll call off any tracking teams immediately." He agrees.

"Secondly, if you want to contact me, use the fucking information i gave you. I talk to people in person because i fucking feel like it, and i don't fuckin' feel like talking to you."

"Yes, i'm getting that impression..."

"And lastly, right goddamned now, i want to know how you knew where i was going. How have you been tracking me?"

"...I'm sorry, i can't-"

"SHODAN." You bark.

["Yes, Captain?"]

"This prick has ten seconds to give me the information i want. If he fails to do so, i want you to take out the entire RFC grid, including New York. Especially New York."

["Understood."]

"Woah, hey now! Miss... uh, SHODAN, was it? Are you really planning on causing that kind of damage? That's not something we can simply cover up, you know."

["I will follow my Captain's orders to the fullest extent of my abilities, Mister Miller. The ramifications are his to deal with. Now, ten... nine... eight..."]

Miller's gaze turns from your holowatch towards you. He doesn't like what he sees.
A toothy grin that's just a little too wide, and eyes that look just a little too crazy to be bluffing.

["Seven... six... five..."]

"You wouldn't...?" He murmurs.

["Four... three... two..."]
>>
>>5972328
Fucker knows we were in blackops, he knows damn well we dont make idle threats.
>>
>>5972328
>That look when he says "you wouldn't."
>>
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>>5972355
>david when the fed says he wouldn't be stupid enough to cause a global incident
>>
>>5972328
>"But SHE would."
>>
>You wouldn't...
Says to the guy that is fucking off back to space in a week. And think about it, people will want to blame someone, and they ain't blaming David for this, they are blaming Miller.
>>5972390
Easy there capeshitlord
>>
>>5972417
That's pretty easy to go with

also all we have to say is
"Space station"

Also they still have the old analog satellite systems. At minimum, they're using that.

CIA HUMINT isn't bad either. As a Marine, David knows that there's plenty of analog communication available.

Also they have a real psychic now. They may have had them already post MKULTRA. something kicked that experiment off.
>>
>>5972481
Well, it's not so much to disrupt gov or mil communications, but cause a civilian incident, assuming the RFC grid is social security (gibs) related?
In that case, that isn't really causing a problem, but rather solving one, IMO.
I wish a nigga would
>>
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>>5972355
>>5972376
>>5972390
very based
>>
>>5972328
>"Why would I care what you can cover up or not? That's a whole lot of not my problem. New Yorks a shit hole anyways. Doubt people will miss getting stabbed on the subway."

Insert those based images other anons provided. Smiling is fun. Kek
>>
>>5972328

Miller's expression hardens once again as he makes a split-second decision.

"LIGO." He states.

"Hold it, SHO." You order, causing her to stop the countdown.

You gesture mockingly for Miller to continue.

"We... weren't immediately aware of your presence. It took a few days to really figure things out." He explains.

"Go on."

"However, the LIGO observatory detected something right away. At first they assumed it was a glitch, but it kept repeating itself. Gravitational distortions, they said. Fluctuations in the fabric of space."

Ah, now you get it.
That thing's sensitive enough to hear a fly fart from across the ocean, and you came in with an alcubierre drive like a megaphone in their ear.

"It took a little math." He continues. "But we were able to use the interferometer to track the rough location of your ship. It was basically designed for it, after all."

Fucking scientists, you should have guessed they'd fuck you over.
You're more shocked that the government was competent enough to make use of it.

You scratch your chin as you think things over for a moment.

Miller is sweating slightly, and he looks like he just got shit in his mouth.
You believe what he's told you so far. You just don't know how much you like it.

"...Alright, Miller. Let me throw you a bone. I'll tell you right now, i'm not an enemy of humanity, and i can be reasoned and bargained with. Take all this back to your bosses and rethink how you want to talk to me."

Miller sighs.

"They're gonna wring my goddamned neck as it is..." He grumbles.

"And remember what i told you. Don't fuckin' follow me. Contact me with the information i gave you. This ain't a game, and i ain't playing. My previous order still stands, SHODAN."

["Affirmative, Captain. I have made the necessary preparations to cause maximum damage to the grid before knocking it offline."]

"Good girl."

You turn to exit through the front door of the firestation, but stop and turn back to Miller for a moment.

"Ah, and one more thing... do you happen to know where Pickle Brown is?" You ask.

"...Pickle?"

His face is plastered with genuine confusion. He seems like he's trying to figure out if you're speaking in code or not.

"...Don't worry about it. If you don't know, you don't know. Just get the hell out of here." You order.

Stepping outside, you close the door behind you and lean up against the side of the building while you await the fire crew's return.

"Now then..." You whisper to yourself.

>SHODAN, fry as much equipment at LIGO as you possibly can. I want that place fucked long, hard and deep.
>SHODAN, you should move the ship around every once in a while. Cover of night doesn't matter anymore, just keep it moving.
>I guess there's no need to hide the ship anymore. We'll park it in a parking lot the next time we go somewhere.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5972795
>>SHODAN, you should move the ship around every once in a while. Cover of night doesn't matter anymore, just keep it moving.
Destroying the LIGO would just antagonize the government. It's best to not burn this bridge right yet. Besides, that equipment could help the Earth detect Federation spy ships warping into our system, if we would ally ourselves with the US.
>>
>>5972795
>SHODAN, fry enough stuff at LIGO to disable it for our time here, but not so much they can't recover in a couple months. We're moving house before they decide to nuke us.
>>
>>5972805
Changing
>>
>>5972795
>>5972803
This, LIGO is a tool for earths safety, it just happens that some of the people at the controls are retards.
>>
>>5972795
>SHODAN, you should move the ship around every once in a while. Cover of night doesn't matter anymore, just keep it moving.
Nothing short of fighter jets is going to catch the Metal Gear, and at this point, they STILL can't afford to do that. I am wondering if SHODAN can return a LIGO sensor reading shaped like flipping the bird.

I also love CIA analysing who SHODAN is, and realising, "fuck it's a misanthropic AI and it's controlling humanity's computing system"
>>
>>5972795
>SHODAN, you should move the ship around every once in a while. Cover of night doesn't matter anymore, just keep it moving.
that took 'em a while to figure it out than i expected even after nuking us but finally they got there shit together
>>
>>5972795
>>I guess there's no need to hide the ship anymore. We'll park it in a parking lot the next time we go somewhere.
why not?
>>
>>5972803
+1
>>
>>5972795
>SHODAN, you should move the ship around every once in a while. Cover of night doesn't matter anymore, just keep it moving.
>>
>>5972795
>SHODAN, you should move the ship around every once in a while. Cover of night doesn't matter anymore, just keep it moving.
>>
>>5972795
>SHODAN, you should move the ship around every once in a while. Cover of night doesn't matter anymore, just keep it moving.
I'm genuinely impressed they managed to catch on so quick.
>>
>>5972954
Well we do have multiple groups whose job it is to sit at a box all day watching numbers and charts looking for deviations of a millionth of a billionth of a percent of shit in space.
>>
>>5972795
>>SHODAN, you should move the ship around every once in a while. Cover of night doesn't matter anymore, just keep it moving.
>>
>>5972795
So, did they know when the grays came knocking last time? It's the same ship after all, I highly suspect that it wasn't the first time the grays were here.
I wouldn't destroy it; they'll need it to defend themselves, or at least know is there are any unannounced visitors.
The good thing about them knowing of our arrival now is that we're much less likely to catch a nuke when we decide to stop by next as they'll at least give us a call first. Which, incidentally, let's us know if there are other visitors to Earth as well. (We just need to warn them about making deals with the interstellar Feds)
>>
>>5972795
>SHODAN, you should move the ship around every once in a while. Cover of night doesn't matter anymore, just keep it moving.
>>
>>5972795

"SHODAN, i want you to move the ship around every once in a while. Doesn't matter where, just don't stay in one spot too long. Can't give them time to set up monitoring."

["Very well, Captain."]

Moments later, a black sedan pulls up in front of the fire station.
Agent Miller walks out through the front door and offers you a nod as he heads to his car.

Once he's in the car, you see him pull out a cellphone and start dialing someone while the sedan drives off.

["Captain, i'm receiving a call from on dedicated line we provided to the US government. Patching it through."]

"Wait, wha-?"

["Mister Rockefeller!"] Miller greets over your holowatch. ["It's been too long, how have you been?"]

"Are you kidding me right now?"

["Me? Oh i've been fine. Ear's a little sore, but that's the price of doing business, you know?"]

"The fuck are you doing, spook? I thought we were done talking." You grumble.

["As much as i would like that, i'm afraid you don't realize how serious the situation is. Global tensions are on the rise, and you just dropped a fat shit straight into the industrial fan of politics."]

You're noticing that Miller seems a lot more vocal now that he doesn't have a gun pointed at his head.

["Listen, i can't return to the pentagon empty handed here, it's just not an option. We need to talk. You wanted to do it over the phone, so here we are. Now tell me, what the hell are you doing, exactly?
Is it sabotage? Are you trying to accelerate the war? Who did you get the aircraft from? Are you working for anyone in particular? Do you have any demands? Washington's breathing down my back with questions."]

Those are all very good and reasonable questions to be asking, but it also seems to indicate that they really don't know jack shit about what's happening, and they're probably in a panic.
And apparently the global hack has caused some strain on relations, which is understandable. If the US knows, then other countries probably do too, and they're all no doubt pointing fingers at eachother.

Given that the use of a nuclear missile in space had already strained things to the limit, that's not ideal.
You don't want to be the one to trigger world war three, even indirectly.

["I'm not trying to piss you off, here. You're crazy, i get it. But you gotta give us something at least. You said you were reasonable, that you could be bargained with... so prove it."]

>Answer some of Miller's questions. If you really want to be on friendly terms with the US, then it'll be good to assuage their fears.
>Only answer the bare minimum to satisfy Miller's handlers. You don't think there's much they could do about SHODAN, but you still don't want to tell them anything.
>You'll be open and honest. In exchange for alien technology, you'll demand massive amounts of manpower and resources in return. Not so much friendly relations as a business relationship.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5973679
>You'll be open and honest. In exchange for alien technology, you'll demand massive amounts of manpower and resources in return. Not so much friendly relations as a business relationship.
>>
>>5973679
Let's answer his questions pretty openly. The gun is against their head, not ours.
>>
>>5973679
>Answer some of Miller's questions. If you really want to be on friendly terms with the US, then it'll be good to assuage their fears.
>"One more thing, demons exist and you can kill them if you have the right tools. Some time ago I killed a greater demon and i ripped out its heart and i kept it as a trophy"
>>
>>5973679
>Answer some of Miller's questions. If you really want to be on friendly terms with the US, then it'll be good to assuage their fears.
>>
>>5973679
>Answer some of Miller's questions. If you really want to be on friendly terms with the US, then it'll be good to assuage their fears.
>Ask for an update on Agent Smith's condition if he can get that. You're more than a little curious how he's adjusting to his newfound ESP.
>>
>>5973679
>Answer some of Miller's questions. If you really want to be on friendly terms with the US, then it'll be good to assuage their fears.
>You'll be open and honest. In exchange for alien technology, you'll demand massive amounts of manpower and resources in return. Not so much friendly relations as a business relationship.
Give him the short rundown of how we came to be in this position, why the Federation is bad for using nanite bioweapons, and how good earth material science apparently is.
>>
>>5973679
>Answer some of Miller's questions. If you really want to be on friendly terms with the US, then it'll be good to assuage their fears.
>>
>>5973785
>>5973679
>support
>>
>>5973679
>I am an ally of America, enemy of Israel and Communists, and their helpers.
>Nobody on this planet gave me the ship, just got updated by literal grey aliens whom died from the nuke the commies shot a few years back
>Not going to come back to the planet for awhile, I got space shit too do, just picking up my Dog, my family, and some buddies to commit space terrorism
>Jews are actual lizard people and the run the Space FED, don't believe me at you're own peril, but I HIGHLY recommened exterminating them
>I'll remove them and global communist leadership when I return
>My demands are either stay out of the way when I return, or become a statistic as I kill domestically global problems
>>
>>5973679
>Answer some of Miller's questions. If you really want to be on friendly terms with the US, then it'll be good to assuage their fears.
"I live on the dark side of the moon, cranking Led Zep for irony, and there's a bunch of other freaks with me there. You might know the German moustachioed guy from early 1900's, and he's still going in a manner of speaking."

Just don't tell them about the Hitler cloning. I think it's fair to lead them a little way astray in questioning, with honesty and lies mixed up.
>>
Fucks sake people, this is the same government that started a plague for global takeover, do not give them fucking space tech until AFTER we purge those responsible.
>>
>>5973679
>>5973984
Oh yeah, this seems like the perfect time to say something about his ear with a perfect message to his gov.
"Your ear is smalltime, but well done. We might make a marine out of you yet son. Also fuck your ear, the Pentagon shot a nuke at me, fuck you."
>>
>>5973987
This.
>>
>>5973679
>>Write-In?
>>Claim to be working some comic book-tier villian SHODAN THE EEEVEEEL AI who is unaffiliated to any goverment. She gave you the promise of inmortality if you follow her OBSCURE agenda, which you know ONLY SO MUCH OF...
disseminate this information across countries, tensions will go down and have a common enemy to fight against, LE EVEEEL SHODAAAN
>>
>>5973785
This is the basic position I support

But the tech is also too powerful for humanity to use properly as a whole. The galaxy literally will come together to exterminate us as a whole if they learn humanity has a sliver of what we've utilized. They already know we exist, and they ARE experimenting on us.

The only alien tech swap I'm willing to do is fix the other agent's eye. Giving him any genetic boosts is only asking for him to be vivisected for his genes to be implanted via CRISPR based systems. He's already a psych, telling the gov will also get him vivisected.

Also saying that demons exist and we have proof is probably something all of humanity should know to some extent. They need some level of preparation. Maybe humanity gets a small amount of warp metal as a treat. Can't be manufactured and they can't get their hands on more.
>>
>>5973679

>Only answer the bare minimum to satisfy Miller's handlers. You don't think there's much they could do about SHODAN, but you still don't want to tell them anything.

Give them a show of good faith, offer SHODAN's hacking abilities
>>
>>5973785
Again, the irony of this after we just got done talking to Redbone about the literal government made plague. Why the fuck would you give them anything?
>>
>>5974058
I don't know why we're even negotiating at all. It's not like they hold any fucking cards here. If anything, we should tour the planet and tell them all to shut the fuck up.
>>
>>5974061
Exactly
>>
>>5973679
Just to be clear, I am against giving the government any space tech.
>>
>>5974064
Agreed! Hard no on upllifting any of these shitbirds until we are in a position to effect the regime change we deserve.
>>
>>5973679
>>Only answer the bare minimum to satisfy Miller's handlers. You don't think there's much they could do about SHODAN, but you still don't want to tell them anything.
>>
>>5974066
For me it's the whole
>"hey we're not evil, you're not a bad guy, everyone is scared, say something nice TO US so that everyone else will calm down :)"
Like cool, fuck off you vultures. We all know you ain't gonna do shit to cool global tensions, just whatever it takes to come out on top after.
>>
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>>5973679
>I thought it'd be a good idea to let you guys know not to mess with me. Eh. I'm no politician.
>I haven't accellerated any wars, on purpose anyways. Is it the whole "oil production slowling to a trickle in 30 years thing?" Being constrained to nuclear power will force the gov to shrink but I sure as hell don't want global thermonuclear war. I am willing to hear what I can do to prevent human extinction but I make no promises.
>You don't need to know where I got this ship.
>I work for myself. Believe it or not, out in space we are among the strongest and smartest. Most life bearing planets have a third our gravity and get uplifted to advanced tech from primative civilizations of creatures who aren't as smart as most folks. That also puts us on the shit list of the powers that be for a number of reasons inclusing our advanced brain structure. Not real fond of potential competition. They'll find their way out here eventually. I plan on carving out a resistance before that happens. No need to bring the more baggage of Earth's shitshow into space than neccessary. The list of people I trust is pretty short.
>Demands. I hadn't thought about it until you asked. Sure, I'm fighting an intergalactic war for humanity's survival. I could use a hand or two. I'll need access to all the good shit on aliens and technology and anything else useful you're keeping on air-gapped computers and full clearance to show up to any military facility and take whatever I want with zero forewarning and a dozen visitor passes. Also, I need immunity from the law. Repeal the NFA. Repeal all affirmative action and similiar horseshit I demand school vouchers in every state, medical care at the VA to actually be up to par with the promises made or exceed those promises, stop freezing the assets of advocacy groups for whites, secure both borders, stop trying to outlaw wood burning stoves and chimneys, massively deregulate small businesses of 15 people or less so long as their products are labelled as not following as stringent as laws, increase bicycle lanes in urban areas by at least 1% a year for the next 30 years by subsidizing cities doing so with federal dollars, legalize all recreational and pharmacutical drugs except antibiotics and tax them, revoke copyright protections for genetics be they plant animal or other, stop paying for tranny surguries with government money, and outlaw interest rates over 10% for all loans even those done by tribal lenders not that I can't appreciate the irony. I don't expect this all right away, maybe over 5-10 years though.
>What can I offer in return, you might ask? How about an intel package with blackmail, operations, and tactical info on what we could call our shared enemies? Earth-bound ones anyways. Do a good enough job unfucking things and I'll consider handing over fusion tech and some other stuff for planetary defense and preventing a post-oil dark age.
>>
>>5974110
some of it's fine, others would break the social contract and turn us into a king maker.

Last thing we want is to be a king maker. Dropping NFA might be 'useful' though in case the aliens show up in the next year if we fail.

Conventional firearms work a lot better than one would think as alien shields have been optimized for energy based weapons. Greys will optimize against that advantage rapidly though, so every little extra bit counts in the initial contact.
>>
>>5974117
What's not to love?
>>
>>5974013
The chinks fired the nuke
>>
>>5974110
>legalize all recreational
They did that somewhere in the US. Crime rates and fatalities spiked because of it. Do not legalize shit like heroin and meth and coke. Just don't. You want some fuckhead on krokodil eating your organs while you're still alive? That's how that shit happens. And stop letting people get hooked on opioids.
>>
>>5974136
Addiction spikes among dumbshits but then they die off. Krokodil users have a short lifespan. Put that shit in every 7-11 next to the malt liquor and swisher sweets.
>>
>>5974110
ok fine
Addendum
>Legalize it all except antibiotics but you gotta be at least 25 to purchase.
>>
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Yall cowards don't even smoke crack.
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>>5974142
>Addiction spikes among dumbshits
So a majority of people alive, including anyone willing to buy gas station crack? And so now all the smart people who won't buy shit drugs are being put in defense mode against a horde of drugged out freaks doing stupid shit because they're high as balls.

My guy,
DO
NOT
legalize the hard shit.
>>
>>5974154
Manufacture it cheap in china, sell fentanyl and bazooka at the local dollar tree.
>>
>>5974154
So its like eugenics but the people removing themselves from the gene pool pay for it. Its sick but... it would probably work.
>>
>>5974170
Humans don't die easy
Many druggies will go out causing some harm that fucks up a lot of others

It is not worth the damage they do when they burn out/
>>
>>5973679
Rather than the bare minimum to satisfy his handlers, let's give him the bare minimum to get their trust, while still keeping them at arm's length. Hassle him a bit over that nuke that fried the original crew of the metal gear while we're at it. As for demands:
>any tech or medicine we bring back is public domain (possible exceptions for planet destroying levels of dangerous/super immoral stuff like creating nanites, antimatter, or AIs)
>full rights for AIs
>figure out how to stop pointing nukes at each other while I'm gone
>don't trust any ships that show up unannouced, especially if they say they're representing the federation. (include some video evidence of the redsang epidemic on Xebric to hammer the point home, give a sign and countersign that we'll use in the future when visiting earth)
>>
>>5974200
Should we tell them that there are soul based AIs?

Should earth have a protector AI on it as a grey contingency? Can we even get guarantee they won't try to dissect an AI cube left on earth?
>>
>>5973679
>>Write-In?
give him all the evidence about the jews and their world order
>>
>>5974264
>>5973679
>Support.

Make the demand that we provide evidence of stuff and we do a massive house cleaning. And say it's not just for the usa but for all countries. No corrupt cunts in power. Otherwise we won't share our technology and info.

Of course just start with the usa and western countries.

Need to get all the kikes , ccp and Russian spies and go after all big corporations that are doing fucked shit. Let's tell them it'll be the next industrial revolution but 20x that. Tell him we don't want to be in charge we just want good non corrupt people in charge. We don't want our planet glassed by aliens ya? You've heard of reach from halo ya? Think about that. That's what I'm trying to prevent.
>>
>>5974277
Also offer to glass all the mafia and cartels.
>>
First time a glowy tries to make a deal and we spill absolutely everything. Why?
To the CIA, no less.
>>
>>5974285
The abused often return to their abusers out of a twisted sense of familiarity and affection. Only to be immediately abused again.

Or they just don't have the stones to turn the front yard of the big house into glass and tell the American public who all the people who need to go are. Gotta vaporize a few of the corrupt snakes. Get the wheels turning. Especially any in the military. We all know some of the brass are playing ball with all the shadowy groups.
>>
>>5973679
>Answer some of Miller's questions. If you really want to be on friendly terms with the US, then it'll be good to assuage their fears.

Earth needs to be warned about the Federation and have a chance to prepare, but we should do that after we have our affairs in order so they don't try to fuck with them.

Get the people we need, then give them with the ayy truth bomb before we leave.
>>
>>5974285
Because it's easier to deal with the lesser evil that we know rather than the bigger evil that we don't fully know.
For all it's faults the US system is better than any other shit that's on Earth and we have the tools to remove the corruption from it if we play our hand right
>>
>>5973679

"Alright, fine. You want to know what's going on, i get it. There's a couple things i think you need to know, anyways." You sigh. "You only get a few for now, so make 'em count."

["Thank you for cooperating, mister Rockefeller."]

"Fuckin'... don't say it like that. That phrasing instantly pisses me off, you understand?"

["My apologies. Now, uh... i believe the most pertinent question at hand is, to whom do you owe your allegiance?"]

"Myself and my crew, what are you, retarded?"

["..."]

"Look, if you asking whether i'm America's enemy, i'd say i'm not. I was born here and, for all it's faults, i still love it. Maybe not so much the government, but i do love the American people."

Images of 400lb men and women in mobility scooters buying hotdogs at walmart flash through your mind.
It's almost enough to bring a tear to your eye.

"And in any case, i do want what's best for them. Now, what you and i think is "best" for them is probably very different, but still."

["I... see."]

Miller clears his throat.

["Well then, my next question would be... whether or not you're trying to accelerate the war between the US, Russia and China."]

"No, i'm not. I've been... off grid for a few years, until just recently. I didn't even know we were at war."

["Technically we're not, just yet. But we believe the Chinese and Russians are amassing troops for a land invasion. Are you sure you have no knowledge of that?"]

"Nothing that isn't public knowledge. China's coming through Mexico, and Russia's planning to come through Canada, right?"

["None of that is public knowledge yet."] Miller insists.

"It's public knowledge if you factor in common sense. But i don't think they'd get very far either way. It's gonna be hard to project power across the ocean, especially for china."

["Yes, perhaps so. Moving along... are you working for any foreign nations at the moment?"]

"No, i'm a private actor and lead my own group."

["You've been well hidden. We uncovered nothing from the past few years, up until your apparent death."]

"Yeah. Like i said, i was off-grid. Real off-grid. Last question for today, big boy. Make it count."

["The aircraft."] He answers immediately. ["Who did you get it from? What kind of technology does it use to fly?"]

"That's two questions, asshole. If you who i got it from... well..."

You aren't sure exactly how much you should tell them for now.
They're gonna have to know about the aliens at some point, but maybe it'd be better to solidify your relationship before going into all that.

"It wasn't actually given to me at all. I was ahhh... kidnapped, by it's previous crew. However, in an unfortunate twist of fate, they all ended up dead, and i didn't. So, i obtained it."

["So it's stolen, then."]

"You can't steal from the dead, Miller."

["I'm fairly certain that's not true."]

"Then i fucking stole it, alright? That good enough for you?"

["Ah, well... about the flight technology it uses..."]
>>
>>5974415
too bad thats all for today boyo
>>
>>5974415
>"Aliens and that's enough questions for today, if you have more questions wait 24 hours"
>>
>>5974132
That is what we thought in the initial thread. QM since confirmed that it was the USA and David knows after SHODAN awoke to the Tibetan handicrafts forum shitposting.
See last thread and
>>5929008
>>
>>5974415
"You know I loved that movie X-files. That shit about Mulder making wonderful wishes to a genie and that backfired so spectacularly, when he wished for world peace the genie made humanity was removed. Be careful what you wish for.
"ALSO BITCH IF YOU FIRE AT ME AGAIN SO HELP MEEEEEE"

and then I saw QM's update
>>
>>5974458
>+1
>>
>>5974415
>>Hang up
>>
>>5974415
>"Top-of-the-line, and likely top secret technology, even by galactic standards"
>Don't elaborate any further
Let them sweat over that

I'm more of a Costco hotdog kinda guy
>>
>>5974415
>suck my ding dong Fed Boy. *hangup*
>>
>>5974458
this
>>
>>5974415
"I don't understand how it works myself, and I don't exactly feel like putting my engineer on the line to explain it for me. Don't trust any other ships that show up unannouced, especially if they say they're from the federation."
>>
So when exactly are we nuking Israel?
>>
>>5974836
Honestly, the best way to hurt Israel is to make the Middle East entirely irrelevant to the United States and arm their enemies to the gills.
At that point the problem solves itself by forced capitulation or total annihilation.
>>
>>5974852
imo it would be easier to make israel itself irrelevant to the US by making turkey a proper ally that won't try to backstab the US, and making it easier to fabricate semiconductors. and that gets fixed by doing a classic CIA bulshittery and just releasing a few tech blueprints
>>
>>5974858
Giving the United States the ability to stop relying on everybody else for semiconductors WOULD be a power move, and probably easier than the Turkey bit.
I'm not sure any Eastern European power can maintain a good relationship with the US.
Either way, making Israel itself irrelevant to the US is definitely the way to go, so we should brainstorm with that in mind.
It's just for the quest mister FBI man, calm down.
>>
>>5974864
When you speak of the US, do you mean the people, the government, or the corporations (ran by a international clique of rootless cosmopolitans)?
Giving away technology willy-nilly is more likely than not just going to empower the establishment and widen the gap between the governments and the governed.
>>
>>5974910
>the government, or the corporations (ran by a international clique of rootless cosmopolitans)
Those are the same thing, but yes, that.
>Giving away technology willy-nilly is more likely than not just going to empower the establishment and widen the gap between the governments and the governed.
Point taken. But even before we start taking shots at Our Greatest Ally, the government isn't gonna leave us alone if we leave them empty-handed.
Answers only go so far, we're gonna have to sweeten the pot at some point.
But what do we give them that doesn't end up fucking over the American people in the process?
>>
>>5974932
>the government isn't gonna leave us alone if we leave them empty-handed
What are they going to do, ring our phone off the hook?

>what do we give them that doesn't end up fucking over the American people in the process?
Nothing. If they want something exclusively to themselves, that means they want to fuck over everyone else. If you truly want to help the average dude, you give the average dude something he can use as an individual to improve his life; which is another can of worms we simply don't have time to delve into right now.

Personally, I'd just give them a warning; find us the people we're looking for and sort your (Earth) fucking shit out fast, because if we fail, Earth's next visitors might be hellbent on enslavement, mass experimentation, and/or extermination. We can give him some of the nastier redsang zombie footage to drive the point home; whether he believes us or not is his problem. After all, we got a fucking spaceship and he doesn't. Drape a demon skin over their Langley lawn as a prank
>>
>>5974975
i mean, you don't really want the government analyzing skin that can change its density and pretty much become invisible at will. it will be glorious, mind you, but its a Bad idea
>>
>>5974415

"Ahhh sorry, i think you'll have to call back tomorrow! Krrrrsch- i'm going through a tunnel Krrrrsch- Can't- Krrrrsch-"

["Really?"] Miller asks in an exhausted tone.

Yes, really.
You hang up on him.

Peace and quiet overtakes the countryside once more, and you suck in a huge breath of fresh air with a smile.
You're certain that threatening to take down new york's power grid and shooting one of their agents in the ear will prove how very reasonable you are, but only time will tell.

In the meantime, you will need to find Pickle, and right now that means waiting for Hunter to come back from whatever fire Miller set.

That ends up taking a good 45 minutes, during which you nearly fall asleep while leaned up against the outside of the firehouse.
The sunlight together with the cool autumn air was just too good.

You're startled awake by the sound of the firetruck pulling back into the parking lot, and who's driving it? None other than Hunter himself.

He grins as he sees you, and pulls his truck into the garage.
You follow him through and go to greet him.

"David! What the hell man, how long have you been back here?" He asks, throwing his arms out for a hug.

"...Does anyone else smell gunpowder?" A woman asks, stepping down out of the truck. It's Hunter's wife.

"Kinda? Maybe it's the exhaust." Another man you don't recognize says.

You bring Hunter in for a quick hug and pat his back.

"Hey man, good to see you. I just got back today, figured i'd come see y'all." You tell him.

"Oh hell, i know that tone. You ain't up to no good again, are you?" He asks.

"Yeah, you do know me." You grin. "It'd be stranger if i wasn't, wouldn't it?"

"Well what are you up to this time, man?"

"A lot, actually. I came looking for one of the old crew, who's quite possibly hiding out here because he himself got into trouble. You know what i mean?"

"Ah, Pickle." Hunter immediately surmises.

"Yeah, Pickle. You heard anything? Any strange fires lately?"

"Well yeah, actually, now that you mention it. We just came from one. Someone tried to burn down the old abandoned gas station down the road."

"Over on Crystal Creek?" You ask, surprised. "When did it shut down?"

"Oh, bout eight years ago, maybe ten? Can't quite remember, but i think you was deployed at the time."

Shit, man. You used to go there for pizza and soda when you were a kid.
You didn't even know it was already gone.

"Well, shit..." You cuss. "...I don't think that was him, though. Anything else?"

"Not fire-wise, but we did get a call about somebody that had the hell beat out of 'em the other day, up towards the border. Dude gave a description that sounded an awful lot like Pickle, but he was drunk, so who knows."

"Where was that at?" You ask.

Hunter gives you the location of a small community farther up in the hills, which you recognize as being a hotspot for bootlegging back in the day.
He might really be up there in the bamboo after all, it's just a question of where.
>>
For all the goofiness of this quest, we have a rather difficult and serious situtation here.

Essentially earth exists as it is on borrowed time we know for sure some aliens know about us, they came here to capture specimens for whatever sick shit they were planning and from the first few beginning paragraphs its fair to think they dont see us as equal creatures to them.

We might as well end up as that snake ladys species who got annihilated because they were dangerous "predators" even if she was not even that strong. On top of that we have powerful wrinkly brains that are capable of using printers without training or really much effort.
From the Space Feds point of view there are 7 billion+ AI viable brains out here waiting to be shackled. A threat they could turn into a resource.

On the other hand our Feds are very similar to the Space Feds the difference being they dont have the toys the Space Feds have.
I was brainstroming for a while what kind of stuff we can give that wont make things worse. The nutrient dispenser tech to allevieate world hunger?
Fuckheads like nestle and the "rich elite" will have it replace normal food for the vast majority of people. Proper foods becoming a commodity only enjoyed by the few.
Our cure for cancer? Only have to look at the insulin situation to see where will that go. Hell they will probably make better retroviruses for greater population control murk a few million people noone will miss them (they already doin that tho).
>>
>>5975149
I really don't think there's any way for distributing the nutrient paste dispenser to alleviate world hunger to backfire, people who can will demand real meals, but worst comes to worst there's paste. It's disgusting but it doesn't make people fat. If anything there'd be no demand because it tastes that bad.
>>
>>5975149
That's why I think the majority of the tech we bring back should be put in the public domain.
>>
>>5975161
just put it on every computer on earth that's connected to the internet.
>>
>>5975155
The biggest issue there is nutrient paste dispensers use elemental converters of some sort. We don't insert nutrition cartridges, it uses our material banks.

We'd have to rework it. The bigger issue is it'd allow population explosion and the resources humans want would become another issue. Granted, food scarcity and poor conditions is part of the reason many have many kids, so a few survive. As health goes up , # children goes down as focus is on investment in a few vs. trying to get a few past the 'funnel'.

Governments won't let us solve the food situation without us also implementing enforced birthcontrol or something... Unless humans can get off earth and expand, truly unlimited food has too many macro issues.
>>
The public domain thing could be good, but what should we put on the net?
We can make it so fedbois cant take it down.

Maybe solid state betteries, better thrusters improved 3d printing tech?

To butter up us gov give them warp metal samples, and better detection systems?
We somehow have to get the world powers to use the better thruster tech for space colonization and not ICBMs first.
Having the moon and mars with bases on them would be good. At least help them enough so commerical space travel is viable.
>>
Stop GIVING it to the fed. You faggots were all high and mighty threads ago and now all you want to do is give them the golden eggs and the goose.

We are in a position to make DEMANDS. If you want to continue your civ-quest then put asteroids on collision course and give earth, ALL OF EARTH, an ultimatum.
>Meteors are hitting earth in a year. Fix your shit or I am not diverting its trajectory.
Fuck you fags piss me off when can we return to hfy?
>>
>>5975149
>Our cure for cancer? Only have to look at the insulin situation to see where will that go
to be fair, that's mostly a US problem. most places in the world have decent prices for it

truth to be told, i don't think there is a real answer. the world won't change its ways; the political game is too entrenched in everything to make a palpable change in any short amount of time. my best guess is that we uplift colonists and....we pull a helldivers and create managed democracy or whatever system equivalent that makes anything else(a.k.a. an AI) handle politics, at least on a country-planetary level, because holy shit people love to get ahead of everyone else, even if it fucks the other person
>>
>>5975294
Excellent point. I'm in favour of doing absolutely nothing for them. We need nothing more than what we already have with spacer tech and whatever metallurgy/fission tech humans have that aliens would never touch. The food is sorted, but you could always get more.

What we need is quality crew, and USA government would never admit to helping aliens abduct and kidnap humans. David's sister and mum agree to coming with us, so we don't even need the fat stack of cash from hacking the financial systems of bitcoin and/or bank accounts. Mum has her tv shows

Then lets get back to space after securing people, food & alloy samples plus whatever schematics of things.
>>
>>5975294
This is more important, the moment our space tech ends up in public, they already have systems in place to shut the wider population down for the benefit of parasites, until we force them into a coffin, change will not happen.
>>
>>5975294
We can't give our tech to humanity without the glowies being able to see it too, and we can't get rid of the glowies without triggering a nuclear war and killing off large swathes of humanity. Doing this would piss off the survivors and set us back in building up an interstellar power that can rival the federation. We'll have to keep them at arm's length still, but we also don't want them trying to work with the federation and getting humanity wiped out because we tried to stonewall them.
>>
>>5975805
lets just do the original plan of uplifting people and starting from scratch then. way less hassle that way
>>
>>5975294
>Facts

I'm all for using our billion dollars to start a pharmaceutical company and cure the world of cancer though and all other genetic diseases.

If we become an elite we can start throwing our weight around...

If we then use the billions we make to then branch out into surveying resources we could then become trillionaires by buying "useless land" that has fat resource reserves.

Then fold that into buying allied universal. Largest security company in the world 500k+ employees. We now have an army. We invade Africa and take it over reform it and now make a power house comparable to the western countries. Mass uplifting of the people. No diseases. High wages. Figure out how to give them all shards of shodan and they're now highly useful monkeys.

Tldr.

Take over the world and make it the right way. It would be easy asf once we can show we 20-100x economies. If not more. Then make Mars habitable and move people there. Boom we now got humans on two planets and we can increase our population 5-10x.

And fuck the feds they'll just fuck up our plan if we give then any technology. Keep it all in house. With shodan we can make it so no one can steal our shit. And with a Grey with endless amount of resources we can make some shit the space feds don't even have. We can pull and Ecuador and purge all the criminals too.
>>
What I dont understand is why didnt the anons vote against when it passed to maintain friendly relations with the US gov.
Granted I look at this quest every few days too so I usually miss some votes.
>>
We have complete control over every banking system on earth, if we really want to defang glowies we can simply zero all those accounts
>>
>>5975116

Your visit with Hunter is cut short when his wife discovers a bullet hole in their coffee maker, and you quickly make your excuses and skedaddle.
Now back on your bike and back on the road, you decide get an update from your crew.

"SHODAN, Redbone, y'all good? Any agent smiths watching you?"

["Not at the moment, Captain."] SHODAN responds.["However, i am having a surprisingly difficult time getting the police to search through their paper records. They seem unwilling to do so."]

"Yeah, that's not shocking. Half of them probably don't even know what the dewey decimal system is, no less what they'd actually be looking for."

["Ain't seen shit out here, man. Them suits giving you trouble?"] Red asks.

"Anything to do with a suit is trouble, but no, not really. They made contact, that's about it. I think they were shitting themselves over us a little bit, didn't seem like they knew much."

["Well good, fuck 'em!""]

"Yeah i'm not a fan either, but it's not as simple as telling them to go fuck themselves. Not if we want to keep society intact, anyways."

["Shit man, i don't think we'd lose much without it."]

"You might think, but you weren't deployed to help clean up after Katrina, were you? People are animals, man. They need rule of law, and the hammer of god to actually enforce them."

["If you say so, man."]

You do.
Even the wild west had sheriffs. A truly lawless land is nasty shit.

As much as you dislike how the world is run, it does at least keep things stable.
And by "stable" you mean nobody's killing and eating eachother.

You could wipe out every bank on earth, but that's just going to cause needless mayhem, death and destruction.

You need earth intact, and that means keeping the existing systems intact.
You'll need a more gentle hand to handle the issue of corruption and mismanagement in basically every system from major governments down to hall monitors in school.

That's something to think about later, though. You're planning on heading back into space right now, so you just don't have time for it.

In any case, while you're thinking about all that, you make your way over to the old gas station Hunter mentioned.
It's a very, very old block building. You can tell it used to be a gas station, but pretty much everything of note has been stripped away.

Pulling over in the parking lot, you find the front door, which had been covered up with plywood, kicked in.
The inside smells like smoke, and there's still water on the floor from where it had been put out. This place is gonna be coated in mold come summer.

The fire seems to have been contained to one corner, where someone had built a fire using a 55 gallon barrel. It ended up catching the wooden roof, and burned a hole through.

"Bastards." You grumble.

You look over to the counter by the entrance. You still have vivid memories of coming in here as a child, your mother holding your hand and buying you a pack of sour candies.

Well, it's gone to shit now.
>>
>>5976030
>Sour candies.
No wonder David is psycho
>>
>>5976135
>Teeheehee
I wonder how many of us here need to hide our power level even on (modern) 4chan.
>>
>>5976030
>build a new gas station here with your new wealth
>>
>>5976221
warheads were sour and spicy - the atomic cherry was next level. But an older set of tastebuds mock the flavour of these candies

>>5976135
I hope David sampled wasabi and horse radish.
>>
>>5976030

You consider buying the place and fixing it up yourself, but you're not even sure who owns the property anymore.
It would have to wait until things quiet down a bit in any case.

You look back on the ruined interior of the building with a sigh, and prop up the kicked-in front door about as well as you can.

"This sucks." You grumble, looking around the barren parking lot.

...

A little over half an hour later you find yourself back at your ship. Not where it was previously, but in a clearing much closer by.
When you get there, Kyla is surprisingly outside of the ship, spraying paint onto the side of the ship.

"What are you up to over there?" You call out, shutting the bike off and hopping off together with Redbone.

"Painting some stuff on the side of the ship." Kyla replies, not looking away from what she's doing.

"Yeah, i see that. Mind telling me what exactly, and why?"

"Corporate logos and a political symbol, apparently. SHODAN said it would help us blend in." She informs you. "I already finished the other side, if you want to see."

Walking around the other side, you're surprised to find the redbull logo and a big american flag painted on the side of your ship. The paint's still wet.
You also find that the words "Metal Gear" have become "METAL GEAR SOLID Δ: SNAKE EATER", with an apparent release date under the text and a lifelike version of Big Boss' head next to it.

"Are we sponsored by Konami now or what?" You question.

["Unfortunately not, Captain."] SHODAN replies over your holowatch. She hasn't returned to the ship just yet, but she should be back soon.

"Good, cause fuck 'em. I never liked how they treated ol' Kojimbles."

Red snickers at you.

"Yer such a fuckin' nerd, man. You still play videogames in your forties?"

"No, not like i used to. But i still appreciate a good game now and then."

All this branding though, you get what it's for. If you just parked your ship at walmart you'd have the cops called on you in an instant, if not the air force.
But with all this branding, you can probably get away it to a degree. Redbull does crazy shit all the time, right? And what UFO has the American flag painted on it?

Probably a lot of them, actually. But they don't usually land where you can see them.

In any case, it's enough for people to say "Oh, it must be a stunt or a movie prop or something." and go about their day.
Heading inside the ship, you find your sister in the kitchen, wearing her oxygen mask. She's in the middle of cooking something... ah, one of mom's pineapple upside down cakes. It's been years since you had one.

"Smells good, is it done yet?" You ask.

"Ten more minutes." Sam replies. "I used maraschino cherries. Sometimes worse is better." She smiles.

"Can't mess with the classics." You smile back.

"Damn, something smells good." Redbone announces, sitting down at the table.

"...Red, you dumbass. Where's your oxygen mask? I told you the meds haven't done their job yet."
>>
>Red forgot the mask
>But he is unbothered
>Now David remembered him he is supposed to choke
>Chokes
The power of the mind...
>>
Also those alien-based paints must have SO MUCH LEAD in them... damn space aliens!!
>>
>>5976822
>"Are we sponsored by Konami now or what?
They'll never release a new Castlevania.
>>
>>5976822
>"No, not like i used to. But i still appreciate a good game now and then."
it just dawned on me that david hasn't played death stranding and he's like 3 months away from the trailer of DS2. oh fuck, he might actually get the fucking plot of the game lmao
>>
>>5976822
We should land the metal gear next to a gas station, buy as many ayy lmao stickers we can, fuzzy dices and a truck ballsack then leave without an explanation.
>>
>>5976822

"Man i feel fine, ain't no need to bitch at me. What are you, my momma?"

"I'd say you're losing brain cells right now but you probably don't have any left to lose."

"Yeah, yeah, fuck you man i shint even over noger." Red replies.

You grin back at him.
Yeah, he looks and probably even feels fine, but he ain't.

"You want to try repeating that, dumbass?"

"...What?"

"Don't remember what you were doing, do you?" You ask him.

Red just stares at you, confused.

You take a quick walk to grab Red's oxygen mask from the airlock, and by the time you get back he's happily sipping his coffee like nothing's wrong.
You don't even bother talking to him and just place the mask over his face, then turn the bottle on.

Within a minute or two he's back to normal.

"Okay, so maybe i still need a little oxygen." He admits, once he's back to his senses.

"Two more days, Red. Just be patient, alright? I'm sure by then you can get by without the mask."

"Sure, sure."

Red lifts up his mask to take a sip of coffee, but doesn't take it off.

"You know, you could at least use the nose tube while you're eating or drinking." You suggest.

"I don't like shoving anything into any holes where they don't belong." Red asserts.

"Same." Sam declares from across the kitchen.

Both of them have chosen to use masks instead of the cannula.
They don't want to wear the fanny packs either because they "Look dumb" and "get in the way when i'm sitting".

Pshh, wasted effort on your part.

Red tips up the rest of his coffee and eyeballs the bottom of the mug, then gets up to grab a beer out of the fridge.
After cracking it open and taking a long gulp, he slams it down on the table.

"So what the hell did we all find out there? Anything? Nothing?" He asks.

["I was unable to attain any new information regarding Mr.Brown. They are aware that he may have fled here, but no recent records exist in this state."] SHODAN announces through your watch.

"Buck said there was a big ol' homeless encampment up the road from their place. City's done moved em' out here to clean up the place, and they're paying the land owner to keep 'em there." Red informs you.

"Hunter gave me some good info. Said some drunkard got the shit beat out of them up by the state line, gave a description that sounded like Pickle." You tell everyone.

Red grins.

"Well shit, you thinking what i'm thinking?"

"Probably." You agree.

Pickle's running moonshine again, to make a quick buck while he's on the run.
And nobody loves a little white lightning like the homeless.

>Check out the homeless encampment, they might be able to point you in the right direction.
>Your information's a little outdated, but you remember where the hillfolk used to do their distilling. You could try to find it again.
>If you wait long enough, Pickle will probably show up at the encampment himself, and you won't have to do anything.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5977569
>Your information's a little outdated, but you remember where the hillfolk used to do their distilling. You could try to find it again.
Hey , this was the other option before we voted for getting to the police, fire department and hospital data... so we have all the more reason to go here now
>>
>>5977569
>Your information's a little outdated, but you remember where the hillfolk used to do their distilling. You could try to find it again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug8p5pVsj9U
>>
>>5977569
>Your information's a little outdated, but you remember where the hillfolk used to do their distilling. You could try to find it again.
>>
>>5977569
>If you wait long enough, Pickle will probably show up at the encampment himself, and you won't have to do anything.
Aren't there a statistically high number of vets that are now homeless?
I smell a recruitment opportunity.
>>
>>5977569
>>Your information's a little outdated, but you remember where the hillfolk used to do their distilling. You could try to find it again.
>>
>>5977694
There's a few but 9 out of 10 homeless guys claiming to be vets are bullshitters.
>>
>>5977569

"You think Jedediah still runs the old place?" Red wonders.

"God... can't imagine that old coot's still alive. He was a wispy white haired old fart when i was a teenager."

"Only one way to find out."

"True that." You agree.

...

Later that evening, you find yourself trekking through a thick bamboo forest somewhere along the border of Tennessee and Alabama.
You could be in either state right now, as you're not exactly sure where you are.

The place has changed a lot since the last time you were there, and many of the old trails are missing.
You still have a general sense of where you're going, though. Spend enough time in the woods and it'll come to you.

"Shit man, you sure you know where the fuck you're going?" Red asks.

"For the last time, yes, i am."

"We been walking for an hour already, man." He complains.

You do not in fact, know where you're going.
It's all about the feel. Gotta follow the terrain, that's all.

Speaking of...

"Look, over there." You say, pointing to a small trail through the forest.

And nestled between the bamboo, just barely visible, is an empty mason jar.

"You got lucky." He huffs.

"You just didn't believe me." You insist.

After another five minutes or so of walking, you start to smell the pungent aroma of rotting fruit and bamboo smoke.
Through the trees you can just barely make out a pair of old men standing around a big copper still.

Then one of their dogs spots you and starts barking. It takes a second for the men to spot you, but they both casually grab their rifles from somewhere nearby when they do.

You and Red both raise a fist in the air to indicate that you're not a couple of cops come to bust them, but naturally, they don't drop their rifles.
Not until one of them gets a closer look at you, anyways.

"Well now, if it ain't ol' David and Sammy?"

"Jed, it's good to see you, you old coot!" You greet with a smile.

Jed brings you in for a hug, which you return.
You honestly didn't expect the old man to still be alive. He must be a hundred already.

"Goddamn, Jed. Did you end up pickling yourself drinking that shit?" Red asks.

"Better pickled than rotten, heh!"

Jed laughing turns into a coughing fit not long after. He doesn't sound too good, but that's honestly not surprising at his age.

"So... hah... what brings you boys all the way out here? Lookin' fer another batch?" Jed asks.

"Nah, not quite. We're actually here looking for Pickle. Heard he got in trouble up north, and from what we could gather, we figured he might be out here runnin' for y'all again."

"Ah, yup. He sure is." Jed tells you. "Matter of fact, he aught to be here, oh.."

"Right about now?" Someone says, from right behind you.

Feeling someone grab onto your shoulder, you reflexively twist your body and slam your elbow into whatever's there.
>>
>>5978544
bruh we killed him before we got to recruit him
>>
>>5978702
Surely we only knocked him on his ass and busted his jaw. Surely.
>>
>>5978707
>hit him in the side of the neck
>the force was so great his neck snapped
>instant death
Pickle? Pickle! PIIICKLE!
>>
>>5978707
Nah, good ol boy like that, sure he'll suck in the next couple breaths, but he'll sucker us back before that even completes, only to be no-sold by Gunny
>>
>>5978742
A crazy fucker like Pickle who can even get the jump on somebody like David? I'm sure he'll bust his nose before going in for a hug.
>>
>>5978544
After we hit pickle.

>I always knew you were a back door bandit.
>>
>>5978544
I'll bet he's one of the few slippery enough to only get clipped slightly.
>>
>>5978544

You realize a moment too late that the voice and figure belong to Pickle, but then again, that's what he gets for sneaking up on you
Pickle somewhat manages to react in time, throwing himself backwards and turning what would have been a rib-breaker into a wind-breaker.

Your elbow plants itself firmly into his solar plexus, causing him to wheeze and double over, but he doesn't go down, and just stumbles back a few steps instead.

You let out a sharp exhale as your body relaxes.

"Pickle, you motherfucker, i told you not to do that!" You cuss.

Red elbows you in the side.

"Come on, Gunny, you know he can't help himself. He's sees a man standing still, he's gotta take him from behind!" He laughs.

"Good one... Red..." Pickle manages to chuckle inbetween wheezes.

"You still walk like a fuckin' indian, man. I swear." You grumble.

Pickle manages to pick himself back up, although clearly still feeling it.
Besides being a little ugly, he's a pretty average looking guy with brown hair, brown eyes, not many distinct features... except for his height. He's pretty damn short to be a full-grown man.

"So you do you when you want to, Gunny." Pickle grins knowingly.

He may have taken you out on a prowl or two of his when you were teenagers.
But breaking into places and stealing shit never sat right with you, even if you knew whoever it was deserved the hell out of it.

After those first few times though, he didn't want to let you go, and kept trying to drag you back into it. Bad influences, every last one of them.

"Well ain't neither one of ya keepin' as quiet as you should. Gunny's just... well hell, he'll have to tell you about all that, but what's this about you robbing a bank, man?" Red asks.

"It's bullshit is what it is." Pickle sighs, sitting down on an old wicker chair. "I wasn't even in the county that week, and i don't need to tell you i don't do high-profile shit like that. It's a setup, i'm being framed." He insists.

"By who? Do you know why, exactly?" You ask.

"Fuckin', i dunno! The government! It ain't like they told me, 'Hey pickle, we're pissed off and now we're gonna fuck you in the ass, here's an itemized list of reasons why.' or nothing."

Pickle rubs and scratches at his forehead. He's clearly all kinds of stressed out by the situation.

"Look, i just... i dunno, maybe all the little things i've done finally added up and they're trying to get rid of me, or maybe it's cause of the shit we done in Iran, i don't fuckin' know. It could be anything, man." He sighs.

"What, you think the higher ups want you gone?" You question.

"Dead or fuckin' disappeared like a goddamned chinese. I don't reckon it matters to them. That's just a maybe, though. Like i said, i don't know."

"So you're out here running liquor like a damned fool, like they couldn't guess that." You surmise.

"Unlike some of y'all..." He glares at Red. "I don't go around blabbing about every little thing i do. They don't know shit about me or where i'm at."
>>
>>5979239
>Well I got a better job for you.

>have you and Redbone hit him with the telepathy. "How would you like to steal shit from some alien space feds?"

>plus my girlfriend can delete those charges for ya.
>>
>>5979297
>Well I got a better job for you.
I have to wonder if the clock was ticking for David the same way. If that time capsule was any indication, he knows far too much for the government's liking.
>>
>>5979239
this>>5979297
>>
>>5979239
Pickle is my self insert
>>
>>5979297
Support.
Pickle is my spirit animal. I am having very indecent throughts of what this man can do with his skills.
>>
>>5979239

"You may actually be right about that." You admit. "But don't worry about."

Miller had no idea who the fuck pickle was.
That doesn't mean nobody in the CIA does, but at the very least they weren't thinking about him in relation to you and your activities.

They're probably gonna start now that you've mentioned him, though.

"How the fuck am i supposed to not worry about it, Gunny? I don't mind living wherever, doing whatever... but i can't sleep knowing some suit might come and slit my throat at night. I at least want to see it coming."

You chuckle, which gets you a glare from Pickle.

"What if i told you i had a nice safe place for you to sleep? Somewhere none of that shit matters in the least?"

"What, a deserted island? Sure, might as well at this point." He grumbles.

You raise your arm up to display an image of the Metal Gear on your holowatch, which instantly grab's Pickle's focus.

"Say, Pickle... do you believe in aliens?"

...

After seeing the old men off, you now find yourself back at the ship, strapping an oxygen bottle to Pickle's side.
He opted for the nasal cannula, probably because he can breathe through his nose or his mouth as desired.

"Holy shit, Gunny. You actually stole a fucking UFO?" He whispers, mostly to himself.

"Kinda sorta. I said this once recently, but you can't steal from the dead..."

Pickle raises both his brows and nods his head in agreement as the airlock slides open, and you walk inside.

"Come on, man. Come check it out." You say, beckoning him inside.

Pickle has an almost childlike grin on his face as he slowly walks up the ramp.
As the airlock closes behind him and opens up into the ship, he looks around like he's at disneyland or something.

"Fuuuuuck man, it's real? It's really real?" He mumbles.

Just at that moment, Sanig pops out of the cargo bay and runs into the hall towards Pickle, screeching and doing that hissing thing he pulled before.

"GODFUCKINGDAMNHOLYSHITCUNT" Pickle screams, flailing his own feet under him and falling to the ground.

Pickle immediately tries to scramble for the airlock, but of course it doesn't open.
He screams like a bitch as looks behind him and sees Sanig shaking his brain-sac at him.

You, Sanig and Red all three bust out laughing, so hard that your ribs start to hurt. Sanig actually falls over and starts pounding the floor with his hand.

Pickle realizes he's been had, but he doesn't seem to care at all, and is just heaving and shuddering, clutching at his chest with his eyes wide open, staring at Sanig.

"Ha-HAAAAAA! Holy shit, Pickle! I've never seen you react like that, fuck that was good!" You cackle.

"Fuh-Fuuuck... Fuck you... fucking cunts..." Pickle wheezes.

A round of introductions later, you find that Pickle seems not to mind the aliens on your crew at all.
In fact, he doesn't seem particularly surprised by any of this. Y'know, Sanig scaring the shit out of him notwithstanding.
>>
>>5979850
weird little angry men angerly chasing towards you out of nowhere is still scary i see
>>
>>5979850
I too would be shitting bricks at a hissing alien.

Hmm. Say did Shodan manage to copy some of earth's tech? Did the aliens have AR technologies or entertainment? Do we have all the copies of the Metal Gear franchise? We should play some MGSV while blasting Invisible by Duran Duran.
>>
>>5979853
When a big guy charges you you have an idea of what you're in for. When a little guy does it though, the dude is either out of his mind, or you're in for some real shit.
>>
>>5979850
We do a little intergalactic trolling.
>>
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>>5979850
fucking amazing!
>>
>>5979930
Memes aside, bionic implants and cybernetic augmentations for Humans are gonna be a VERY interesting field of study in the near future.
>>
>>5979850
>Make pickle a telepath toooooo juice the cunt.

>Give him the oxygen jab too.
>>
>>5979910
We should show them fucking halo. We been priming for war against aliens forever.
>>
>>5980034
>David pops open a dusty old copy of Combat Evolved
>suddenly remembers the MA5B
>"SHODAN, start drafting up a designs for a triple stack mag chambered in 7.62 NATO."
>>
>>5980046
Based
>>
>>5980046
That reminds me, since we can literally print ammo we can use some of those more expensive or rare kinds that you normally don't get in the wild. Finally, affordable 10 mil. No more shitty .40 S&W. And none of that pussy fed load for their dainty little hands. Just real 10mm auto.

Alternatively, finally getting ammo for that old C96 gathering dust.
>>
>>5980046
KING!
>>
>>5980046
The new ship must be built on a giant rail cannon.
>>
>>5980073
Thank you for reminding me of that fact, I think picrelated would make for a good commander's sidearm. Maybe jazz it up with some flip up holographic sights.
>>
>>5980185
>a pistol effective at 100 meters
>against shit about as big as a lion
Honestly, they should have just designed a carbine at that point. But bless them for making it anyway. Also
>windage adjustable irons on a pistol
kek
>>
>>5980185
Human innovation in terms of nodified guns improved in fun ways. The rotating shotgun barrels, duel tube capacity barrels for shotgun, bulpup shotguns for more cap, fucking silly shit. I dunno i just love shotguns.

Oh man, do we have a means to make multiple cryo chambers yo stack people in so we can recruit even more people? I wanna recruit Kojimbbles and other cool modern day folks. Besides the MC's main crew and possible other marines.

What about dissatisfied college graduates with a ton of debt? Do we need a chef? Doctor? Researchers?
>>
>>5980222
>Hey freshly graduated engineering degree kid, would you like a job building killing machines?
Why is this so familiar?
>>
>>5980234
Lmao to be fair we'd actually have better benifits, and they wouldnt have to deal with shit healthcare and benifits.

That reminds me. Recruiting fucked up crippled veterans. Like the people who took bombs or fire to the face and got horribly disfigured, people who lost arms, so on. Considering current humanites advancements i think there's enough there to set the foundations of making our own brands of advanced prosthetics. I vaguely recall smart electric muscles and neat prosthetic designs. Combine that with the nervous system aspects of our skin suits and muscles from the suits and possibly PA and we got ourselves so veteran cyborgs. Not sure if we have anything to replace eyes yet.
>>
>>5980240
The hardest thing for replacing eyes is the connection to the optic nerve and having the brain be able to parse the input. But I'm sure someone could figure it out pretty easily thanks to the other tech lying around. Like the translator chip. Or just flat out regrowing damaged tissue with space medicine. Getting robot limbs would be baller as fuck though straight up.

If we could help dudes who are forced to shit into a bag by using weird synth-muscle weaving and shit to make their intestines work again we might have the most loyal people in the universe. Being able to shit normally again. Damn. Gutshot Begone! A shame they won't have a bag full of shitty piss to throw at people who are fucking with them, though.
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>>5980240
>Recruiting fucked up crippled veterans
>recruiting people that may or may not have serious grudges and PTSD
>recruiting people that might be as unstable or worse than david and that can be just if not more cunning than him
im not saying no to the idea but we need a shrink first. or at the very least have shodan read everything about human psychology so she can act as one

>Not sure if we have anything to replace eyes yet.
us? not per se, our tech just has reached a barely acceptable level, but ayys have a lot of high resolution cameras and other medical advancements that can bridge the gap if push comes to shove
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>>5980244
Can't we also just grow new eyeballs?
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>>5980265
yeah, but cybernetics are objectively better, specially with ayy tech
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>>5980285
The only thing better than the mk1 eyeball is the mk1 eyeball with sunglasses on.
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>>5980240
Brooo great idea almost as based as
>>5980175
>>5980046


>Can we find a bunch of fucking crippled veterans and recruit them. Hey we will fix your shit. We need your help to spread democracy and liberty. Kind of like Halo.
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>>5980244
We can regrow eye balls. We talked about doing it for smith then forgot when we yeeted him to the space station.
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>>5980311
oh yeah, by "us" i was referring to humankind, not david
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AFAIK, we need specialists at the top in their fields; one that we can trust absolutely and have little attachment (family, loved ones, etc.) on Earth.
We don't need cannon-fodder just yet.
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>>5980325
i'd focus on the ones the ayys are lacking. in this case, metallurgic and metamaterial ones, agronomy specialists oh, and mycologists; fungi do a lot of weird shit that can be super useful for us, for example, did you know that morels create hydrazine? i wouldn't be surprised if there's a way for some of those fungi to make antimatter for our ship, or better yet, dark matter
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>>5980332
Mushrooms are the trippiest fucking thing. Neither plant nor animal they scoff at the face of god.
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>>5979850

"You sure seem pretty nonchalant about all this, Pickle." You note.

"Why shouldn't i be?"

"Well, i mean... most people would be freaked out by meeting a bunch of different aliens on a UFO. I know Sam was."

"Nah, man."

"Really? Nothing, not at all? What, have you been getting probed on the regular or something?" Red asks, sipping at his beer.

"Fuck off, Red. No, i'm not shocked. The math says aliens are both real and abundant, so what's to be shocked about? I'm just surprised i ever got to see one in person is all."

"Well good." You grin. "I'm sure you won't have any trouble getting along with everyone on Xebric."

"What's that?" Pickle asks.

"The station we're going to. I've already explained this to Red, but uh... it's kind of like a little city built into an asteroid, used as a base for a large-scale asteroid mining operation."

"Oh, cool. And what are we doing there?" Pickle questions.

"Uhhh... rebuilding, mostly?"

You go on to explain how shit went down on Xebric, during which Pickle's expression never changes, and he simply nods along, accepting all of it.

"...And so, that's about all of it."

Red, being uninterested in your story, has at some point switched from beer to tequila.
He could drink anything he wanted so you're not sure why the fuck, but that's Red for you.

"Interesting." Pickle declares. "Sounds like a total shitfest."

"Yeah, it really is." You nod.

"But what do you need me and Red for in this situation? I ain't a civil engineer, man."

"Yeah, true... what i really need is uh... some guys i can trust to get things done. I mean, my crew is great and all, and there's some good guys i know on another crew, but... aliens in general, i dunno. Just... less than ideal."

"Like how?" Pickle pushes.

"Eh... it's complicated. Comes down to a few things. Most species ain't like us to begin with, and then spacer society in general kinda has them over-specialized. If you're a welder, that's all the fuck you are. You can't do shit else."

"Well hell, why don't you just train them then?" He wonders.

You chuckle.

"Yeah, remember how i said 'most species ain't like us'? That includes brainpower. They ain't stupid or nothing, but... it takes a long time for them to learn anything new. That's why they're so heavily specialized."

Pickle scratches his chin. He's thinking about something.

"Not very adaptable, huh..." He murmurs.

"Not at all. Any sort of change stresses them right the hell out, and most of them... well, they can't fight for shit. A lot of the leaf-eaters will actually die from shock if they get injured too badly."

"Yeah? There's nothing weird about that, is there?" Pickle shrugs.

"No, i'm not talking about getting limbs ripped off or having your guts hanging out. I mean like, if you accidentally set your hand on the stove. The pain would just kill them, straight up."

"...Oh. Oh wow, yeah that's pretty bad."

"Yeah. So they're not fighters. And being the majority, they look down on 'predators' a lot."
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LEAFERS GET OUT
>A fucking leaf
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