>>5943919


You slump into your seat across the table from her, while Sanig grabs a jug out of the fridge.

"What's in this stuff, anyways? It smells bitter and sweet at the same time." He comments, setting it on the table, along with a mason jar.

Cylia hears Sanig talking, but chooses to ignore it. Maybe she's tired?

"Caffeine." You tell him. "Besides that, it's just leaf juice."

"Sounds disgusting." He says, crossing his arms.

Your pour up a glass of plain sweet tea and start chugging. It's uniquely refreshing in this moment, just the taste of something sweet on your tongue...
The only way it could be better is if you'd also been sitting in a hot truck in 120F with no AC. Speaking from experience, there.

...You should really grab some horehound candies next time you get a chance.

"So... is he still alive?" Cylia asks, plucking out one of her earbuds.

You take another sip of tea. It's missing something...

"Hmm? Oh, smith? Yeah, he's fine. Both of them are, they just need to sleep off the drugs."

"Both of them...?"

"Right, well... smith may or may not have unlocked his psychic potential. I wanted to see if it was repeatable, and Redbone wanted psychic powers, so..."

"...So you drugged him up and tortured him, too?"

"Wha- no! I didn't torture either of them! I mean, not really. Gave smith a little zap to keep him awake, but definitely not torture. He actually just talked, shockingly easily."

"What did you actually do to them, then?" She asks.

"Uh... well, not much, really."

"He pumped them full of enough drugs to kill a hundred aliens and then shoved a wraith corpse in their faces." Sanig explains.

Cylia raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything.

"Hey, they're human. Like i said, they're fine. High enough to see the face of god, but otherwise fine." You assure her.

"If you say so." She sighs. "I'm just glad there wasn't much screaming this time."

Cylia pulls out her other earbud and sets them both on the table. You faintly hear what she's listening to, something from earth, but it isn't something you immediately recognize.
https://youtu.be/A2hUEe0A5H0

"...Watcha listenin' to?" You ask.

"I'm not sure. It's something SHODAN recommended."

"Sounds nice." You comment, bringing one of the earbuds close enough to hear.

"This shithole actually has a ton of great art. I'm honestly shocked." Sanig adds. "Maybe it's all the drugs, huh?"

You snort.

"Yeah, that's probably part of it. But they say the best art comes from a place of hurt, so... what better than a death world, right?"

"I guess." He shrugs.

It's true of a lot of things, actually. Pain drives people to change, and to act, more than anything.
Whether it's mental or physical, it can be the catalyst for all sorts of change.

Your mind turns back to Redbone. You wonder why exactly he wanted so badly to jump straight into something like that, even though all of this is brand new to him.
He's always been quick to act and slow to think, but he wasn't completely reckless.

>>5943920

It takes about ten or twenty minutes before you start feeling good again, after chugging half a gallon of sweet tea.
Sanig took interest after you drank so much of it, so you ran a glass of it through the medical fab to remove the caffeine, at least to a level he could survive.

He actually ended up liking it, so now there's a jug of decaffeinated tea in the fridge as well.
You're gonna need a bigger fridge at some point... but there's really no room for it on this ship.

Maybe you could use the cryopods as a freezer...? No, that's stupid.

In any case, after a while you decide you should probably update Redbone's boys on what's happened.
They aren't shocked in the slightest, and most of them seem to have stood down from high alert and are now just chilling around the ship.

You end up bringing them a big pot of coffee to keep them warm while you wait on Redbone to wake up.
It doesn't look like the drugs are leaving his system anytime soon, though.

The real problem is what to do with agent smith, though.
You're interested in possibly maintaining a positive relationship with the US government, but you aren't sure how you feel about letting smith go.

One thing you do know is where and when he's supposed to check in.

It's actually about time for the check-in, so if you wanted to make direct contact, now would be the time.

>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.
>Go to the social security office and make his check-in for him. No better way to make sure you're in contact with the right people.
>Keep smith locked up for now, and make contact remotely. You're certain SHODAN can contact whoever she wants from anywhere.
>Write-In?

>remote
>use a tacky batman voice changer. Or the SAW one

>>5943921
>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.
We could let him go on the international space station, as a good will gesture but also as a we mean business gesture

>>5943921
>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.
>Have shodan hack the Cia directors phone. Let's have a chat mate. Oh we need a conference call sure add the president.

>Shodan check everyone for corruption and illegal activities. Publish it on YouTube and put it b on the front page of the online newspapers with the evidence.

Time to purge the corruption out of the government boys.

>>5943940 voting for this

>>5943955
What is the point of destabilizing your gringo country? Without any leaders prepared you don't come, create a power vacuum and leave for the stars

>>5943921
>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.

Give him some contact info as well, SHODAN can set up a secure email account or something.

>>5943940
This. Let the glowies know we are not to be trifled with.

>>5943921
>Go to the social security office and make his check-in for him. No better way to make sure you're in contact with the right people.

>>5943990
He's going to end up like Yuri from red alert isn't he?
The psychic puppet master but this time behind the USA.

>>5943921
>Keep smith locked up for now, and make contact remotely. You're certain SHODAN can contact whoever she wants from anywhere.

>>5943990
+1
>>5943921
>Write-In?
Show Cylia the music video version of the song. its baller.
https://youtu.be/60ruvzfXQoE?si=8rTSajXEThYUiSb0

You actually listen to GUNSHIP Cock or did you pick something at random?

>>5943921
>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.

Go forth our Yuri, Free the Space Force of disgusting Alien influence.

>>5944162
It's one i like, yeah.

gunship has some good shit not gonna lie
blood for the blood god is smashing

>>5944177
May i suggest Dance with the Dead and Dan Terminus?
https://youtu.be/Zv1FyQn2kQA?si=y2sG7vBm0GrQsKuA
https://youtu.be/KjrKrvF7JDA?si=US5pTScflOjhHgCA
And if you are one of those guys, Com Truise
https://youtu.be/yergWdn968o?si=CXaZOiCRN-UnM2Py

>>5943921
>Patch smith up and let him go. He'll report back on his own.
preferably fix his eye as well, it helps in the long run to show signs of goodwill and all of that.

>>5944176
more likely, now that the spooks know getting psychic powers is possible, this will reactivate the ol' MK ULTRA project

>>5943921
>Make contact remotely.

>>5944311
Like, posturing is a damn important part of diplomacy, so much so with a organization hell bent on perpetuating itself... mmm false flags so letting smith go with a smile and hoping for the best is so stupid it breaks David's character, for he knows how the letter agencies work.
>I have your guy. I know he is disposable but I am not killing him yet and I want to reach an agreement.

>>5943921
>Keep Smith locked up for now, and make contact remotely. You're certain SHODAN can contact whoever she wants from anywhere.

>>5943990
+1

>>5943921
>Pull a Suicide Squad and implant a bomb in his skull. Give Shodan the remote.

Dank tunes, Cochrane.

>>5943921
>Write-In?
Take him with us.
>"You've just been transferred to the Earth Defense Force, son! Here's your complementary augments and a knock-off 1911. Up and at 'em, hero!"

>>5943921
>>5943940
I like this.

>>5943921

You sit around for a while, thinking it over.
It would probably be best to just patch smith up and let him go back on his own.

But you still need to send a message, to remind them that you're not someone to be fucked with.

"Hey, SHODAN? How are we doing on dark matter and energy?" You ask.

["Reserves are sitting at 35%, Captain."]

"How much would it cost us to get back into orbit?"

["Approximately 3%. It will take 25% of our reserves to make it back to Xebric."]

Alright, so you're a little low on gas, but it's still affordable.

"So, i have kind of a dumb idea... but i think it would be funny."

...

.....

...

Some time later, after giving smith the best medical treatment you could manage, you find yourself stuffing his unconscious body into a spacesuit with a small rocket-propelled drone strapped to his back.
A short while later, you kick him out of the airlock and into low earth orbit.

SHODAN, taking control of the drone on his back, fires a monopropellant rocket that kicks him into a collision course with the international space station.
When he gets close, she'll slow him down and make sure he's placed somewhere visible.

You, meanwhile, have a call to make.

"NA1SS, NA1SS. Sierra, Hotel, Oscar, Delta, Alfa, November."

You repeat yourself a good ten times or so before someone finally picks up.

["SHODAN, NA1SS has you loud and clear. Welcome aboard."]

"It's not me that needs welcomed aboard, ISS. You might want to check the cupola, you've got an unexpected visitor."

["...Sorry, can you repeat?"]

"I repeat, you have a visitor, ISS. Take a look out of your cupola."

The radio goes silent for over two minutes before you get a radio back.

["Who is this?"] They ask.

"Agent smith has about eight hours of oxygen in that suit, might want to bring him in."

["Oh my god. Are you kidding me?"]

You hear several voices clamoring in the background as you turn off your radio and lean back in your pilot's seat, awaiting the toasty glow of re-entry as you come down over the atlantic.
Yeah, you're feeling pretty good about this one. You stapled a post-it note with various contact details to his chest, so they should be able to ring you up whenever.

Not on your personal phone, naturally. It'll be some random number or computer somewhere in the world.

It's really beautiful, you know. Watching the gentle blue light of the atmosphere give way to the angry orange glow of the air compressing around you, and your ship's ceramic armor heating to a glow.
You feel yourself being pressed into your seat as the ship slows down, and slowly fall into a glide as you reach the lower atmosphere.

However, you can't land in the water. You're pretty sure salt isn't good for the engines, so you end up entering supercruise below a certain altitude.
It takes less than a minute, even at such a minimal speed, to make it back home.

Or rather, back to a random field outside of Columbus, Ohio.

Lol, lmao.
This stunt was a fraction of our resources but it will be millions to take him back down and a hard to measure amount to cover this up.

Imagine if the iss dudes tweet about this, heck with pictures...

>>5944840
>You stapled a post-it note with various contact details to his chest
Please tell me we didn't literally fucking staple it to his pressurized suit.
Either way, my god am I chuckling too hard.

>>5944858
No, you stapled it to his chest.
With a stapler.

>>5944861
...I'm just gonna assume David was very careful in doing so. Unless we accidentally sent the ISS a frozen TV dinner instead of a lightly scuffed fed.

>>5944840
Fucking amazing.

>>5944865
Not the chest of the space suit. The chest of the angent, either his flesh or his clothes under the space suit.

File: dragon-ball-z-vegeta.gif (66 KB, 480x360)

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>>5944861
>>5944865
OH YOU MEAN HIS BARE FUCKING CHEST

>>5944850
>"So I was looking out on another beautiful sunrise on the ISS and THIS GUY was just out there. Space is wild."

>>5944840
Did we regrow/ repair his eye?

Also may wanna warn him he's psychic now and demons are real. Psychic ability means
1: government might dissect him
2: demons are attracted to him now

Are these true statements? Not entirely. But it'll be fun

>>5944946
Pretty sure we forgot to mention Gunny's Eye and Dental package to him.
If he becomes our liaison with the Feds, I'm sure we can still offer him a new eye down the line.

>>5944946
>2: demons are attracted to him now
My man the ruinous powers sare not real

>>5944952
My guy, we've seen Hell and that shit may as well just be the Warp. They might be real in some capacity.

>>5944955
I think the... dungeon dimension we travel through in hyper space is not where dark matter demons live, rather one dimension they use... i wonder if my conjecture is right and the hell the big fella came from is a separate space and not hyperspace... unmo maaaan

>>5944946

No, you'd need treatment at a proper hospital for that, and there may be some difficulty culturing the cells of an unknown species.
Bionics are an alternative, but again, nobody's ever put one in a human before.

However, the burn will heal quickly and without scarring of the skin.
He may be able to get an artificial lens put into place, as the burns don't go too deep.

>>5944840

You stretch out your legs as you watch the ship touch down, this time in a barren field far from a highway.
There's really nothing to see from horizon to horizon except for dirt and cornstalks, except for a couple of wind turbines in the distance.

With nothing much to do for the moment, you decide to think about what you'll be cooking for the crew's meal today.

Something non-toxic would be good, you think.
Beef and broccoli, maybe?

"SHODAN, is there anything toxic for the crew in beef and broccoli?"

["Besides the amount of sodium in onions sauce? No, Captain."]

"Thanks."

Making your way to the kitchen, you find your pantry severely lacking.
Not just spices, but in beef and veg in general.

"Shit, i wish we could just... print our food out on the fab." You grumble to yourself.

["You can."] SHODAN informs you.

"...What?"

["So long as you know the exact chemical makeup and physical structure of a food item, it is possible to print it on the nanofab. However, it's nearly impossible to print all but the smallest of living creatures."]

"Oh my god." You utter.

["...Captain?"]

"Computer. Tea, earl grey. Hot."

["Really?"]

You remain silent as you powerwalk towards the workshop where the weapons fab is located.
By the time you arrive, the fab is already working, and Kyla seems curious as to what you're doing.

"You printing something, hun?" She asks.

You stare intently down at the output chamber of the fab as a beautiful, milky white porcelain cup with a fine gold rim appears out of a cloud of silvery glitter.

["You will need to add some water to the materials chamber, Captain."]

Your brow twitches, but you grab a bottle of water off Kyla's workbench and toss it into the bin.

"Hey, i was drinking that!" Kyla complains.

After a momentary delay, the fab starts back up and the cup fills with a wonderfully aeromatic tea.
The cup hangs in midair, waiting for you to take it. And you do.

You thrust your pinky out and sip your tea daintily, smacking your lips to enhance the flavor.

"...Yeah, i prefer iced tea." You conclude. "Shit, so close to perfection."

["I should warn you, Captain. This fabricator is not tuned for chemical reproduction. There will be a minimal degree of inaccuracy when it comes to the chemical structure of anything made in it."]

"Yeah, i figured. But like, how bad exactly? If i print a steak, is it gonna be inedible?"

["Unlikely, anything toxic should be detectable. However, there may be a slight off flavor due to contaminants as a result of inaccurate construction."]

"What about the chemical fab?" You ask.

["It could reproduce most foodstuffs with near 100% accuracy, however, it's capacity is much lower. Despite being faster at reproducing chemicals, it will be slower overall when creating large batches."]

"...What if we do the bulk of printing in this fab, then correct any errors in the chemical fab?"

>>5945653

["As long as both fabricators are utilizing the same blueprint, it would work."] SHODAN confirms.

Your face lights up after hearing that.
Blueprints, you need blueprints.

"...Can we can a steak into this sumbitch?" You ask.

["Through a destructive scan, yes. Few of the compounds and structures found on earth are likely to be copyrighted."] She confirms.

"Oh my god." You drool.

>Go out immediately and get some of the highest quality produce and spices you can find.
>Maybe check in on your sister first. It'd be nice to grab the SUV again while you're at it.
>Wait here for Redbone to wake up, for now. You're in no hurry to make dinner.
>Write-In?

>>5945654
>>Go out immediately and get some of the highest quality produce and spices you can find.

Rule 7: If the food is good enough, the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire

>>5945654
>Go out immediately and get some of the highest quality produce and spices you can find.
>Maybe check in on your sister first. It'd be nice to grab the SUV again while you're at it.
I'm reasonably sure we can do both in short order. Besides, we're gonna need the SUV to haul any appreciable amount of shit back to the ship.

>>5945654
>Maybe check in on your sister first. It'd be nice to grab the SUV again while you're at it.

>>5945654
>>Write in
>>DO NOT DO THIS SHIT THAT AMOUNTS TO AI GENERATED ART

>>5945799
I don't think you understand what you're talking about OR why AI is shit. If it's almost identical to real food on the atomic level, it's just food. Doesn't matter if a 3D printer shat it out.

>>5945654
>>Maybe check in on your sister first. It'd be nice to grab the SUV again while you're at it.
Then
>Go out immediately and get some of the highest quality produce and spices you can find.

>>5945802
but it lacks the sweat and blood that comes from food that is GROWN. We are one click away from corpse starch

>>5945799
Is a printed copy of the Mona Lisa AI art?
>>5945915
>printed steak that's a 1-1 copy of the original
>almost corpse starch
my man think more star trek and less 40k

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>>5945915
>but it lacks the sweat and blood that comes from food that is GROWN.
Just because there wasn't any physical labor or metabolic processes involved in its production doesn't NECCESSARILY means it's of a lower quality. You're already kinda disconnected from all that stuff anyways if you get your shit from a supermarket.
Anyways, if you can emulate all those things NEAR PERFECTLY on an ATOMIC LEVEL, it's about as "real" as real food can get.

>>5945932
it's not about the quality it's about the SOVL

>>5945915
i mean, the normal food cycle is corpse starch stretched through several steps. this just cuts out the unnecessary bullshit

>>5945951
Processed and minced meats like salamis, burger meat, and all the variants of those don't have any recognisable animal components left.
Hams are sometimes served as part of a pig's shoulder on the bone, so there's that, but you're not eating the bone. Instead the common solution was to make a soup from boiling the bone as stock to minimise waste. Meanwhile the nano printer ensures there is no waste ever -except whatever atoms escape as vapours? It's probably using the sewerage of the crew as feedstock

>>5945654
If David is up and running then
>Maybe check in on your sister first. It'd be nice to grab the SUV again while you're at it.
Find some chateaubriand, tomahawks, pastrami, jerky and the rest.
Amazing possibilities right here

>>5945654
>>Go out immediately and get some of the highest quality produce and spices you can find.

We've at least got to try it. Imagine if we can print real cinnamin and saffron.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH, THROW THE FUCKING BURGERS, CHICKEN NUGGETS, STEAKS, TBONES,BEER,DR PEPPER AND FUCKING ROOT BEER IN THERE!!!

>>5943919
hi deevee nealis, how is bleu your tranny sister?

>>5945654
Time to pirate a cow

Or at least tea leaves

>>5946122
Tasty options for the crew too like venison, chicken, and seafood.

>>5946122
>YOU WOULDN'T DOWNLOAD A HORSE
>[grunge music riff]

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>>5946122

>>5946152

>>5946402
The fuck, why is my image not going through?

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28 KB JPG

>>5946404
Only straight people have image posting perms

>>5945654

You consider things for a moment.
Just a moment, though.

"Gonna need the SUV." You decide.

"For what...?" Kyla asks.

"Food. Lots of food." You declare.

You grab your bike out of the cargo bay on the other side of the ship and immediately begin sprinting into town at full speed.
You nearly slip once or twice on the dirt road since you've got street tires on this thing, but you manage to keep it under control.

Unlike out in Chillicothe, folks here ain't so amused to see someone biking on the highway, nor on the city streets.
You do manage to make it back to your sister's house without getting run over, however, and your SUV is waiting in her driveway when you get there.

Your sister, who seems to have just gotten off work, jumps at the sound of her front door slamming open.
The house smells like warmed-over thanksgiving dinner.

"Welcome back, Captain." SHODAN greets you.

"Hey." You greet back with a huff.

"Uhg, gross... you're soaked with sweat. How did you even get here?" Your sister asks.

"Biked it. Everything good here, i assume?"

"Yeah?" Sam replies. "Should i be worried that it won't be?"

"Ah, nah... probably not. We'll deal with it if it happens, so don't worry about it."

"So it could happen."

"Yes, Sam. It could happen. And like i said, we'll take care of it. Now, how is mom? Is she doing any better?"

"I dunno." Sam sighs. "She said she was feeling a little rough today, and SHODAN said she'd been coughing, but she looks more energetic to me."

"A result of her system being cleansed of arterial blockages and tar." SHODAN clarifies. "Her condition will improve over time."

You hear the sound of your mother hacking something up all the way from her bedroom. Her cough is definitely full of phlegm, which in this case you reckon is a good thing.

"Well, that's good." You reply with a slight grin. "Hopefully she'll be up and running around in no time."

The looks on both Sam and SHODAN's faces don't inspire confidence, but you believe that it's possible.
If meds alone won't do it, then... you'll figure something out. If and when.

You clear your throat.

"Anyways. I came here to grab the car. SHODAN already knows why, but i think it's good news for everyone, honestly."

"I could use some of that." Sam grumbles.

"Alright, so you know how i talked about the nanofabricators we got on the ship?"

"Yeah, sorta..."

"What if i told you we could print as much wagyu as you could eat?"

"...Shut up."

"Whole pre-cooked meals, even, practically for free."

"Well shit, what the hell are we waiting for?!" Sam demands, throwing her shoes back on and heading for the door.

"Well that's the thing. We can make whatever we want, but we gotta scan it first. Or, well... if it's simple enough we could probably just make it, but it wouldn't taste quite right. Needs all those little natural details."

"So, what? Grocery store?"

"Grocery store." You confirm.

"...There's this whole foods in town that has all the good shit." Sam informs you.

>>5946406
Im not a faggot, it just keeps acting like I have incognito mode running when its not.

>>5946472
>"So it could happen."
considering now russia, china, the europeans and whoever else has astronauts on the ISS now know of mr john smith, yeah, something will definitely happen

>>5946626
Half of the world's population being is for rides into space?
You know, dropping a few dozen celebrities (modern day court jesters) off at the ISS and watching the resulting chaos worldwide would probably be pretty funny.

>>5946472
Why stop at just whole foods, when I'm sure there's a smokehouse in town too? Or a Chinese restaurant because they're literally everywhere?

>>5946626
Plus taking over the entire cryptocurrency and maybe financial network, because both are easy as shit for SHODAN. Or a detected launch and landing craft that would make Musk greener than Ireland with envy. Many reasons for planting a target on ourselves here.

>>5947155
>Or a Chinese restaurant
Unless it's in the local China Town, it's PROBABLY dogshit.
Now the small scale Korean places however, those are usually hidden gems.

>>5946472

"Alright, i got a few places in mind too, but..."

"What's up?" Sam asks.

You pull out your rapidly dwindling stack of bills.

"I'm getting low on cash, so i don't know how far we'll get on this little grocery run." You inform her.

Sam pulls her wallet out of her purse and digs out a VISA card.
She stares at it with a look that holds a mixture of fear, frustration and longing.

"David, you said we're filthy rich after next week, right?"

"Oh, total 1% territory." You assure her.

She grips that credit card just a bit more tightly between her fingers.

"Fuck it, then. Let's go."

You grin from ear to ear. That's exactly what you were hoping to hear.
Sam is eager to rush out the door, but you take a few moments to visit your mother and give her a hug and kiss before heading out.

With the promise of some good food upon your return, she seems plenty happy to let you go with just a short visit.

What follows next is a hell of a shopping trip, in which you max out both of your sister's credit cards.
You purchase all of the highest-quality meat and produce you can find, selecting just one of two of the absolute best specimens you can get your hands of for each item.

After all, whatever you select now is what will be replicated after scanning. If you pick a carrot that's slightly bitter or has a bit of a bruise, they'll all be like that.

So everything has to be absolutely perfect.
Perfectly ripe fruit, perfectly fresh bread, perfectly marbled meat and so-on. Price is no object, of course.

You end up grabbing a whole rack of ribs, a giant slab of pork belly, a really nice whole chicken, and as luck would have it, the butcher at the local whole foods had some A4 japanese wagyu in stock.
Of course, you also grabbed every cut of regular beef you could find, including things like lower-quality steaks and ground beef, just to have the template.

Next on the list was spices. Naturally, you grabbed one of everything and dumped it into the buggy.
Everything from fresh basil and ginger to oyster sauce, tamarind and sumac, you even found jars of vegemite and cuttlefish ink somewhere along the way.

You don't return until late in the night to drop your sister off back at her house, along with some high-quality steaks.
SHODAN knows all of your recipes, so she'll be able to copy your cooking for them.

You however, need to get this carload of groceries back to the ship while they're still as fresh as possible.
Even the back seats are filled to the point you can't actually see out of your rearview mirror.

The bike... there's nowhere to shove the bike in, so you have to strap it to the roof rack.

Through SHODAN, you inform the crew of your imminent arrival, and the fact that you'll need help unloading groceries.
Not to the mess, but to the workshop.

Kyla and Cylia are waiting outside the ship when you arrive, but it still takes quite a few trips to get everything in.

>>5947218
Oh man if they thought the barbeque smelled good, they're about to cum when they step into that workshop.

>>5947229
Don't tempt Kyla, she'd be down to mix sauces like that.

Let's make sure there aren't any sauces that delete their livers or their kidneys please... like mint being toxic to rabbits and so on

>>5947218
>weed
>Dmt
>Ayahuasca
>pcp

Can we hack the banking system and drain a bunch of corrupt peoples accounts to 0. And redistribute it to the poors?

Finally, the solution to "nothing in the fridge."

Honestly, I'm thinking about the crew's nutritional needs. We could isolate flavor molecules and more evenly distribute fat molecules to get more flavor for less fat and maybe even experiment with more healthy mediums to be the carriers of these flavors. Reduce trans fats and replace them with equally flavorful healthy fats. perhaps blending protein types in new and novel ways to construct an optimal mox for gains or even new flavor/texture combos. Imagine if we could create something delicious like bacon or shrip but healthy and altogether completely original and unlike anything tasted before.

Potentially veggie burgers that actually taste good... or even great. Has science gone too far?

>>5947284
We don't have a rabbit girl....yet.

>>5947326
that would help the crew... they are taking so much drugs to cope with the absurd calories that, weww

>>5947314
That would go nowhere expect back to the parasites, better to create shell organizations to fight them, they can't stand under actual competition.

>>5947533
creating a couple of companies ON EVERY COUNTRY sounds like a good idea... giving good pay to its workers and having a supremely optimized system that avoids waste!!! Stuff like having three accountants when you just need one or ensuring there are no erratic deliveries so you always need two truckers and you don't have to hire seven extra drivers because of odd orders.

Companies that give good pay and are marginally profitable... and they all buy and sell to one another but authorities do not have evidence to realize this is a planet wide operation... so good... we seize the means of production by buying out the competition, without them realizing WHAT is buying them and in a few years... alright we have our game plan, SHODAN code a virtual intelligence right now

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>>5947327
>have rabbit girl
>is eaten by cat
HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?!

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Okay I watched twenty (20) seconds of the first ep and I am HOOKED.

It gives you SO. MUCH. INFO. in twenty seconds... how ships work, how they use thrusters to leave the atmosphere, how they use ROGGETS and are maneuverable and have graspers that they wrestle with and 10mm chainguns for close quarters...

and the pilot has a eyepiece headset that feeds info straight to their optic nerve and the OS andso on so on...

>>5947579
Yeah man, Outlaw Star is a classic for a reason.

>>5947675
>a classic for a reason
The babe?

>>5947579
Outlaw Star is fucking great. One thing, if you watch the English Dub, there is one episode they left out, one which contains some important info, because it was too steamy. So make sure you watch that one subbed, since it was never released in English.

For the time period, the dub actually stands up really fucking well.

>>5947760
The aesthetics. The action. The characters. It is by no means perfect and some episodes are notably stronger than others but it really is a feel.

>>5947218

"So... what exactly is all this stuff?" Cylia asks, after removing her helmet and setting it aside.

She gestures around at the sea of paper and plastic bags laid out on the floor.

"This... is the future." You declare.

Digging through a certain paper bag, you pull out a slab of finely marbled A4 wagyu.
You actually prefer this quality over A5 because it has more meat, more structure... A5 is just pure fat, and while that's certainly an experience, you can hardly call it a steak.

A4 has more substance, and it's also easier to cook with.

If you asked Cylia though, it just looks like a damn good steak.
She stares at it in your hand with such intensity that you're afraid she might bite off a finger.

"Watch this." You say, cutting the packaging open with your pocket knife and pulling the steak out.
You gently place it into the output chamber of the fabricator and take a few steps back.

"What are you...?" Cylia starts to ask, when you give the order.

"SHODAN, initiate scanning sequence!"

["Affirmative, Captain."]

The steak floats gently up into the air, where it's covered over by the usual cloud of silvery nanomachines, and slowly disappears.
Very slowly, actually. Much slower than printing anything, even things that the nanofab isn't designed for. It takes a solid ten minutes for the steak to disintegrate.

["Scanning complete, Captain. Blueprinting successful."]

Curious as to the results, you open up the printer's material bay and find a small plastic bottle full of water, along with a block of graphite and some tiny metallic beads that weren't there before.

"Oh, wow. So these are the raw materials, huh?"

"I preferred it as a steak." Kyla comments.

"Me too." Cylia agrees.

"Well, this is the real test, isn't it then? SHODAN, do it." You order, closing the bay.

["Printing now, Captain."]

...It's slow. Something of this size made of metal would have been done in thirty seconds or so, but it takes seven whole minutes to print a steak.
Still, seven minutes. That's all. You could hardly microwave a fuckin' pot pie in that time.

And what do you have at the end? Well...

You pull the finished product out of the output chamber and look it over.
Same color. No brown spots or anything, and... it's not like you memorized the marbling pattern, but it looks the same to you.

You give it a sniff. Honestly, smells exactly the same to you.
Same texture, same temperature, everything seems the same.

You cut off a thin slice with your pocket knife and pop it into your mouth.

"Eugh, disgusting!" Cylia recoils. "David, that's raw meat! Won't you get sick?!"

You shrug at her and start chewing.
Oh yeah, that's a good flavor. Maybe... maybe there's a slight muskiness to it that's a bit odd?

It's very minor, hard for you to tell at all, really. Maybe it'll get worse after cooking, or maybe it'll disappear entirely, who knows.
But if you put this into any sort of dish, it would be completely covered, you're sure of that.

What happened when the nanofab scanned dead wraiths? Did it trigger dark matter warnings? I honestly can't remember

>>5948392
The wraiths are made of dark matter, which the fabs can't handle.
They just error out when you try scanning them.

>>5947780
>if you watch the english dub
stopped reading there

>>5948402
Got it, yeah figures...
Can't David watch some youtube tutorials on hide tanning, practice with some cows and then give it a go with the wraiths? I bet he can make a kickass leather jacket. Groovy

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If he fails and ends up with too little leather he can make pic related instead

>>5948441
Kyla would demand he wear it all the time, and Cylia would freak out or get horny. Maybe both.

>>5947326
i mean, as long as we make their meals within their caloric range and filling, we can feed them pretty much anything
>Potentially veggie burgers that actually taste good
to be fair, they have tasted good for almost a decade. the problem is that most people are only shown the shitty ones that taste bad

>>5948226
Should probably do some before and after testing.
Honestly, with such technology, there is no reason not to have entire cooked meals, fresh off to stove/grill/oven, scanned.
Kidnap the world's best chefs, drug them up so they think they are dreaming, then have them compete in a cook-off against each other (scan the results and have the "dream" end there), put them back to sleep and back into their own beds.
With luck, their competitiveness and desire to know how they stack up against each other would have them do the event for real (and not wonder whether the "dream" was actually real).
>Hmm, I would like this dish tonight... but who should it be cooked by...?

>>5948560
i think that's gonna be a problem because most meals are served hot, not at room temperature. obviously this is sci fi tech, but im guessing that all the stuff that comes from the fabricator is at room temp, so its still better to cook it ourselves

>>5948642
I'm sure we could get it hot out of the fab with a little adjustment.

Imagine you made preium meals, run them back through the fab to remove all the moisture and foil/platic back them Mountain House style with a perfect vacuum seal, perfectly sterile. Best imagineable military rations. No charms.

>>5948657
But rehydration makes stuff soggy...

>>5948684
The soggy meatloaf is still better than the best lasagna parm MRE fresh out the bag

>>5948226

["Captain, i believe it would be safer to taste test the meat after it has been scanned for imperfections."]

"Yeah, probably. Anyways, it looks like it works. There's a very, very slight off taste, but... it's hardly noticeable at all."

You toss the steak back into the fab, where it rapidly disintegrates.
That's one great thing about fabricators, no matter what they're geared towards creating, the destruction part is always quick.

Actually, that's kind of terrifying in the context of grey goo now that you think about it.

"...David." Cylia urges, tugging on your shirt.

You turn to her and see drool dripping from her mouth.
Her eyes are slightly bloodshot, and she looks kinda pissed.

"...Oh, sorry. Uh. Let me just..."

After printing another steak out you give it a quick run through the chemical fab, which takes all of fifteen seconds and completely corrects the flavor.
You take the time to pan fry it for the crew to share, after which you get back to work scanning in the various food items you've bought.

What's interesting is that the more items you scan, the faster it seems to go.
According to SHODAN, that's because the fab is storing data about all the chemicals it's detecting for the first time, as well as repeating patterns in the physical structure of certain items.

So, algorithmic bullshit, you guess.
Whatever the case, after scanning one kind of meat, the next one goes a little quicker, and so-on.

Some things go real quick though, like the sodas. It's mostly just water, sugar and a few flavorings after all.
One problem you notice right away though is the water.

There's so much water in food, it keeps filling up the materials bay and has to be removed.

Jugs and jugs of the stuff.

Eventually you also have to remove blocks of graphite and some very dense plastic as well.
Apparently the ship's hydrogen storage tank rapidly filled up, so the only way to store it is as blocks of plastic.

That's fine, though. Honestly, you'd rather store it as plastic than an incompressible and highly flammable gas.

It takes you hours to get through everything piled up on the floor, but eventually it's done.
You have most everything you'd use day to day scanned in, and most of your favorite ingredients as well.

Almost anything you'd need to make everything, although for many items you bought smaller packets and bottles so you could stuff the car even more.
But making custom bottles for everything is no problem. You'll probably also make some edits to the food itself, like replacing corn syrup with a mixture of mostly complex sugars and some glucose.

You also give SHODAN the suggestion to have the fab store the carbon as diamond rather than graphite, since it tends to rub off and make a mess... but she claims it'll make printing times slower.
Whatever, a little carbon never hurt nobody, you guess.

It's damn near 2AM before you finally stuff the last ball of plastic bags into the fab and hit the sack.
You're exhausted, but excited.

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she's perfect, bros...
Captha KYAA

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she said "Nyaniii?" so cute

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why is she so pathetic...

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>>5949149
>carbon dust all over the place
Electronics

>electrician screaming intensifies<

>>5949201
Pencils in space, brother.

SHODAN, turn up the air filters to eleven thank you

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holy shit

>>5949215
small amount of pencil lead is not the same thing as a mass of powdered graphite.

>>5949494
It depends entirely on how long you are writing for.

You retards. We can generate gravity fields on this ship. The carbon won't go flying everywhere like on a primitive human spaceship.

>>5949149

The following morning, you wake up with Cylia and Kyla by your sides.
They're still sleeping, so you have to wiggle your way out down the middle.

...Oh.

Well, you thought it was morning.
It turns out the two of them were just taking their aftertoon nap, and you've been asleep for... twelve hours?

Well, you were a little tired.

That's fine, though. Today is meal prep day, so everything's good.
You start off your morning by having SHODAN print you an espresso maker, then making a single cup of espresso and promptly shoving both of them back into the fabricator.

Then you print yourself a new cup of espresso based on the first one.

Feeling sufficiently charged up, you then print out two steaks and a couple other items, then run everything through the chemical fab for purity.
One steak is for breakfast, the other is for meal prep.

With one steak in a cast-iron pan greased with peanut oil (perfect for searing due to it's high smoke point) you carefully season the second with flakes of sea salt, then garlic powder and coarse black pepper.
While that's dry brining, you finish up searing your breakfast steak and allow it to rest with a fat pat of irish butter slowly melting on top of it.

Into a bowl goes, flour, salt, sugar, baking soda, cold butter and just a pinch of pepper.
You knead the butter and dry ingredients together like a pie crust before adding in the buttermilk and making a thick dough, which you fold into layers.

Using the lid of a mason jar, you cut out a dozen biscuits and roll the rest of the dough up into a ball, which goes into the fab.
The biscuits themselves go into the oven, and right before they're done you baste the tops with butter to help them brown up, before throwing them in the fab.

Then into the same pan goes the thick-cut, hickory smoked bacon, which you slowly fry up until it's super brown and crispy, then drizzle with dark maple syrup.
The bacon goes straight into the fab, and then you quickly make up some sunny side up eggs, which also get tossed into the fab.

By now your breakfast steak has finished resting, and guess what? It goes into the fab.

And finally, you use the bacon grease to make some nice, homemade gravy.

"Flour goes in... black pepper, salt..." You mumble.

About this time, Cylia wanders into the mess hall, yawning as she stretches her arms over her head.

"What's going on...?" She asks groggily. "Where's all the food?"

"Juuuuust a minute, sweetie. It'll be done soon." You promise.

As the flour in the pan turns golden brown, you drizzle in milk until the gravy thins out just enough to run, and pour it off into a mason jar.
Which you immediately run off and shove into the fab, chuckling to yourself like a madman.

This is it. Finally, you never have to cook again. At least, never more than once for a particular item.
The truth is, you don't want to cook. You want to eat. It just so happens that the only way to eat good food, is to cook it yourself.

>>5949781
The only downside of all this is that we may be inadvertently laying the groundwork for a lot of these recipes to be copywritten. Not by us mind you, but by third party alien shitheels inside the Federation.
I'm going to be incredibly annoyed when the wider Galaxy thinks a near perfect copy of David's favorite steak was an invention of Blorpo Foodstuffs Incorporated or some shit.

>>5949833
Also while thinking about this I realized something. We could probably tune the fabs to screen for nanites and other nasty shit the Feds might spike supplies with. That'd take a load off my mind personally, even if it would be a bit tedious to screen everything that comes from Federation space.

>>5949781
Don't sear with plant-based oils if you value your health. Use Ghee. Smoke point 250*C.

>>5949781
>We need to get some cochise from Peru.

Aka the good stuff.

>Ha you thought caffeine was a rush try this white lightning.

>>5949781
Interesting implications for other valuable biological substances, such as blue lobsters, eggs, embryos, (cloned) organs/limbs/etc. for transplant purposes, ivory, rare timber, and horse semen.

>>5950280
in theory we can create a clone of ourselves this way. of course, we'd have to "die" before the cloning happens

>>5949781

As you stand there giggling to yourself, watching a hot, fresh breakfast appear right before your eyes, you suddenly hear something.

[What the hell, something smells good. Wait, where am i again...?]

Oh, damn. That's right, Redbone...

[Gunny! Come untie me from this fuckin' table fore' i bust loose and whoop your ass!]

[Alright, alright. I'm coming.] You think back to him.

[Wait, shit! You heard that?! IS IT WORKING?!]

"Goddamn, not so loud!" You yell down the hall as you walk over to the medbay, where Redbone is still laying.

"Did you hear me?!" Red yells, trying to look back at you from the table.

"Yes, damn it. Congratulations, you're magic. Or psychic, or whatever."

"Fuck yeah!" He cheers, pumping his right arm as you loosen the belt on it.

You continue releasing his straps, and he groans as he sits up. He's been laying on a flat, stainless steel table for the better part of a day, after all.

[You sure it works?] He thinks at you.

"Yes, Red. I'm sure. Don't use it too much or you'll tire yourself out. I almost had a sugar crash yesterday after... well, a bunch of bullshit now that i think about it. But the telepathy contributed, that's for sure."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hey, what smells so good? Are we having breakfast? Is there any left?"

"Oh, there's plenty left. Come check this shit out." You urge to him.

Red follows you to the workshop without question, where a full southern breakfast is just finishing up the printing process.
The output chamber is almost completely full of bacon, steak, eggs, biscuits, and gravy

"What, no sausage?" Red asks.

You give him a glare while you unload the food floating in the chamber.

"Chill man, i gotta scan shit in as i make it, alright? We can have sausage gravy tomorrow, and the day after, and for every meal from now on if you want."

"For real? Hey, i like my eggs scrambled, with a little ketchup on 'em."

"Why don't you make you some scrambled eggs and ketchup, then? We got a kitchen in here." You remind him.

"Shit, i might. After i get me one of them steaks." [I'm fuckin' starving, but goddamn, that looks like an expensive-ass steak. I'mma get me one.]

"...Your thoughts are leaking out, Red."

"Huh? Oh, shit. Sorry."

...

You start setting food out on the counter for anyone and everyone to grab.
The table ain't big enough for everyone to eat at and display the food at the same time, so it is what it is.

Kyla's about halfway through her steak while Cylia has long since demolished hers, and looks like she's about to burst.

"So where are Sanig and Gildur? I didn't see them in the workshop or medbay." You ask.

"Mmh. Gildur's still napping, Sanig's in the cargo bay doing something to that guy you brought in." Kyla informs you through a mouthful of meat.

"Ah, alright. I'll let them know there's food. Y'all can grab what you want."

"Shit yeah..." Red cusses under his breath, immediately shuffling over to the counter to grab a plate.

>>5950687
>>Sanig's in the cargo bay doing something to that guy you brought in.
Who? Smith is in space and Redbone is munching

>>5950721
Er, blood samples or something, yeah.
i have more brain problems than joe biden. don't worry about it.

>>5950745
Redbone's crew is still outside? Bad Sanig, don't anal probe the help.

How common are carbon asteroids in space, and can we keep printing food-things indefinitely with our stores?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C-type_asteroid
Looks like when launch is underway, dull asteroids will be targets to make breakfast forevermore.

>>5951025

Any carbon consumed will be emitted as C02, which can be collected, stored and re-formed into food.
All that requires energy though, which is why energy (and collecting exotic matter) is the biggest problem you face long-term.

The nanofab is actually less efficient than spacertech GMO plants when it comes to this, but more efficient than plain old earth veggies.

>>5950687
Now that I think of it... all this scanning is taking energy from our capacitors. Maybe we should set up some solar panels to recharge the ship so we don't have to refill the capacitors from the dark matter or plug the ship into the grid?

>>5951386
Antimatter, not dark matter.
And you do. Your crew sets up a blanket solar panel every time you land the ship.

>>5951387
Cool. I imagine there are a few things done with every landing.

>>5950687

You find Gildur sleeping in Kyla's old bunk.
The girls mostly sleep together with you now, so Gildur's kind of taken over their old space.

You manage to gently wake him up and lure him into the mess by waving a plate of biscuits and gravy in front of his nose.
He likes bread, so you're sure he won't mind being woken up for that.

Sanig, however, seems to be busy.
You find him hunched over a terminal in the cargo bay, scanning through some sort of data.

"Hey, gramps." You call out. "Breakfast is ready, and it's good stuff."

"Sorry Kid, i'm in the middle of something." He replies.

"What's that?" You ask him.

"Blood samples, brainwave patterns and general diagnostic data from yesterday. I'm trying to compare it all against your old readings, but i just don't see it."

"See what?"

"Telepathy, or anything that looks like it could be telepathy. There's general activation of the entire speech center of your brains, and a large consumption of energy, but i can't see where it goes!
These neural patterns don't mean anything, it's just random neurons firing as if you're having a seizure! Your brain consumes more energy than it could possibly be using, and then it all just disappears!"

"Uh... alright? I mean, what do you mean it just disappears?"

Sanig turns his chair towards you and stares you down, his eye twitching.

"Kid, it just flies away into the fucking ether. Burning that much energy should raise your body temperature, but it doesn't. If you're sending wireless signals somehow, they should be detectable, but they aren't!"

"You're barking up the same tree as a LOT of human scientists here, Sanig. We didn't find nothin' either."

"They never had solid proof of telepathy to begin with!" He yells. "I do! I know you aren't lying to me, boy! Even the bit-brain thinks so! It's real, so why can't i measure it?!"

"Ahhh... maybe we're using the wrong tools? I mean, clearly something's going on if there's visible brain activity, right? Maybe there's something else we're not seeing?"

You see the moment where Sanig stops staring at you, and starts staring through you.
His eyes dart around wildly as he starts thinking about something.

"Yes... maybe you're right, kid." He mumbles, turning back to his terminal, where he immediately closes everything he'd been looking at.

"So uh, do you want breakfast, or...?"

"Bring me some steak, thinly sliced. I'll eat it here."

"Alright. Let me know if you find anything."

"And some of that tea, more caffeine and NO ICE!" He yells as you're walking away.

"...How long has he been awake exactly, SHODAN?"

"Ninteen hours, Captain."

"Christ, seriously?"

Your whole crew, Sanig included, usually naps once or twice a day.
Maybe only for an hour, sometimes for several hours. It just depends on what they've been doing.

But not a single one of them has ever stayed awake for more than twelve hours at a time before. Their brains just start shutting off at that point.

Sanig has had too much caffeine.

I vote to put a little bit of Chloral Hydrate in his blended steak so he passes out :)

>>5951436
Grandpa, you need sleep, you dont think clearly when you dont get enough sleep.

>>5951436
So the telepathy works the same way the ftl communications work?

>>5951913
I mean, it COULD be that our thoughts are being bounced into a higher dimension before they get picked up by others with ESP. That would jive with the probable catalysts we've identified so far; dark matter and wraiths.

>>5951436

"SHODAN, how much tea has he had to drink?" You ask.

["Nearly a liter in the past day."]

"That's... a lot for somebody his size. It was all decaf though, right?"

["Indeed, Captain. Only about 10% of the original caffeine content was left in the solution."]

"And about how much would the total dosage be, if you drank a liter of it?"

["Approximately ten milligrams, Captain."]

That's... not a lot.
Alright, caffeine might be a little dangerous for the crew.

You bring Sanig a plate of thinly sliced Steak and a glass of tea, but this tea has no caffeine in it at all.
You don't bother telling him not to drink so much of it, because you know he'll just argue with you or get suspicious.

Instead, you order SHODAN to secretly lower the caffeine concentration of any coffee or tea the crew makes to almost nothing, even if they ask for more.

Even if it's not something that will poison or outright kill them, you're still going to have to worry about long term health effects, and even addiction.
Earth food is pretty dangerous after all, it turns out. Even something as harmless as a cup of tea can have adverse effects.

Oh well.

You finally get a chance to sit down with your crew and eat, squeezing inbetween Cylia and Kyla at the table. Redbone and Gildur are already standing at the counter to eat due to a lack of space.
Having grabbed some slices of steak and a biscuit, you make yourself a sandwich and dip it in the gravy for some extra flavor.

Oh yeah, this is the stuff. The meat just melts in your mouth, and the biscuits are buttery and flavorful as can be.
It almost feels like a sin to eat something this good, but that doesn't stop you from pouring more gravy onto your eggs and stuffing a whole egg into your mouth.

"David, you've got gravy on your chin..." Cylia fusses, wiping your face with a paper towel.

"D'awww, does Gunny have a girlfriend?" Redbone says, picking at you.

"Three, actually." You grin, putting your arm around both girls.

They don't understand what eachother are saying unless SHODAN translates, but the devious grin on Kyla's face tells you that she gets the gist.
She rubs up against you and feeds you a bite of her food while you lean back and stare Red in the eye.

"...Goddamn, Gunny. You really are freaky, ain't you?" Redbone says, lowering his voice.

You shrug at him.

"So who's number three, then?" He asks.

"The ship." You reply tersely.

"What?"

["He is referring to me, Mister Masterson."]

"The name's Redbone." He insists. "And how the hell does that work? You stick it in the tailpipe?" He asks.

["I do not have a 'tailpipe' so to speak. However-"]

"SHODAN! That's enough, let's not get into anything unnecessary, alright?" You beg.

["As you wish, Captain."]

"That doesn't really answer my question, man. How do you fuck a spaceship?"

"She ain't a spaceship, Red. She's an AI, and uh... we built her a body. Simple as that."

"...What, like a realdoll?" He snickers.

>>5952209
>"...What, like a realdoll?"
What the fuck's a realdoll, Boner?

>>5952281
A hyper-realistic sexdoll

>>5952288
I know. But wouldn't David have just barely missed its debut with his air duct? I forget the exact timeframe.

>>5952306
Yes, it would be well after David getting picked up when those things start showing up.

>Redbone is saying everything outloud.
>David cannot help but cringe
Will Redbone look at the Oni twins and be instantly smitten? He better

>>5952209
Don't forget that if we don't fuck the ship, her vagina will literally die

>>5952306
>>5952334
Realdolls have been around since at least the 90's, lads.

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>>5952419
This may be the first time someone has said something that makes me feel like LESS of a degenerate. The more you know, I guess.

>>5952344
Not if the oni's are smitten for David's cooking already.

>>5952209

"No, retard, not like a realdoll." You insist.

["Indeed. My gynoid's features are quite a bit more realistic, including a living flesh exterior."]

"So like terminator, then?" He asks, raising a brow.

"No, not... well, actually yeah, just like terminator, now that you mention it."

"Damn, that's crazy. You gonna get you a liquid metal bitch dressed in leather, too?"

"Probably not, Red." You sigh.

["Nothing is impossible, Captain."] SHODAN teases.

"Does... does anyone else understand what the new guy is saying?" Gildur asks.

"Nope." Kyla replies immediately, feeding you a bite of her eggs.

"I don't think he has a translator implant." Cylia informs him.

Unlike your crew, Red simply ignores any other conversations going on.
He can't understand them, so he has literally zero interest.

"Well, i think we could do something about that." Kyla says. "We have a good database of human words, more than enough to translate the whole language, even down to slang terms."

["I had already completed that task before reaching earth. However, my database now includes all human languages."]

"That's right, humans speak a bunch of different languages... that's so weird." Kyla muses. "Anyways, i could probably jury-rig something to go around his neck and into his ear. A little crude, but functional."

["A proper solution is not out of the question, either. It should be possible to develop a simplified neural implant, but it will require proper space-age medical facilities and a suitable doctor, like Miss Lyna."]

"Yeah, i think we can make this decision pretty quick. Hey, Red!" You call out.

"What's up, Gunny?"

"Translator so you can talk to the crew. You want a brain implant or a headset you can wear?"

"Headset." He decides, immediately and without question.

"Well there you go then." You smile.

Kyla looks to you questioningly.

"Oh, right. He wants the headset."

"Alright. I can get a prototype ready within a few hours, probably. It's not that complicated, really... but it'll need a dedicated computer to handle translation."

["I would suggest utilizing the subspace communications network, Miss Kyla. It would have much greater utility, in that case."]

"Alright, we can do that. We have warp dust already made, right? Two crystals should be enough. Or just one, if you want to handle it..."

["I believe it best for a VI to handle the translation. I have found offloading the majority of my computational tasks to the earth network quite liberating."]

"Wait, you what now?" You question.

["Since i have come into possession of the vast majority of earth's computers, i believe it would be a waste not to use them, Captain. Each one is quite weak and inefficient, but as a global network..."]

"So you're running a botnet." You surmise.

["Yes, Captain. A planetary botnet."]

"Oh, that's good. That's real good. Just don't get caught, please?"

"Can i get free mobile data?!" Redbone yells.

>>5952790
My man has his priorities right

>>5952790
But he still can't get free HBO TV on a cable plan.

>>5952740
>Caring about who she likes
baka
>>5952790
>SHODAN made the entire earth's electricy consumption go up by 0.4%
freaky

>>5952790
>"Can i get free mobile data?!" Redbone yells.
No more roaming charges RAAAAHHHHH

>SHODAN, if you use your botnet and create a VI, how smart do you think it can get?

>>5952880
>SHODAN made the entire earth's electricy consumption go up by 0.4%
someone in the middle of bumfuck kansas just saw that increase in their old as fuck analog power grid controls and is freaking the fuck out

>>5953242
>IT sees their printer make beeping noises and unjams itself.
>IT starts shooting.

>Everything just begins working better
>Package loss is a thing of the past
>No one but the feds begin to notice that all the keylogger and spyware hard coded into Intel's products and other motherbords cease to work
>We found no bugs and no signs of tampering...
>Software is unable to find anything off, but tests on the hardware itself find discrepancies in CPU usage, energy consumption and what gives...
>Even more expensive studies yield and uptick in internet data that matches with those rumors about the ISS...

>>5953448
>tfw all of the algorithms in the world start to work as advertised instead of as backdoors to every system
>this makes every system not only more secure but operate notably more efficiently
>tech giants baffled as their products start to actually do what they say they'll do
>that guy trying to do simple code and coming up with an unforeseen error suddenly has his spaghetti structured properly and it runs

>>5952956
....roaming charges are still a thing?

>>5953476
yes

>>5953448
>>5953473
>Tencent, Google, Yandex and other related tech stocks that own (((advertising))) all shutter.
It really was the reptilians controlling the world from their subterranean caverns in the Dolomite mountain range all along

>>5952790

["Done."] SHODAN replies immediately.

Moments later, Redbone receives a text and checks his phone.

"Ho-lee shit, unlimited talk and text, unlimited data, no roaming charges... goddamn! I love our robot overlords!"

["You are very welcome, Mister Masterson."]

"That's Red- ah hell, fine, you can call me whatever you want after that. As long as it ain't Sally."

Breakfast goes surprisingly well after that.
Unexpectedly, Redbone starts talking to SHODAN and ends up being shockingly friendly to her.

You guess he doesn't care if she's skynet incarnate or not, as long as she's on his side.

After about twenty minutes, SHODAN informs you that Sanig has passed out at his seat, and you bring him to bed.
He has dark circles under his eyes, which you haven't seen on him before.

Shortly afterwards, SHODAN also informs you that news is starting to come out about an incident on the space station.
She opens up news channel from somewhere in texas, where they're talking about it.

["-ate last evening, an unspecified emergency was declared aboard the ISS which resulted in an emergency meeting between NASA officials and the CIA, though details have yet to be released.
The NASA director stated that the station and it's astronauts were unharmed, but many speculate that rising tensions amongst the crew due to spreading global conflict may be at fault here.

As we all know, there have been worries recently after statements made by the russian president and it's military regarding the station, insinuating that it could be de-orbited and used as a weapon against...

...
.....
...

This has been Greg Groogan with Fox 26 Houston. Tonight we'l-]
"Well, that's something." You comment, killing the news feed on your smart watch.

"I don't watch that shit." Red tells you. "All they ever do is blow smoke up eachother's asses and make you depressed."

"True." You agree. "But uh, we were the ones responsible for that little incident, so it was worth watching i guess."

"Why, what'd you do? Shine a laser at 'em or somethin'?" Red asks.

You quickly explain what you did with Smith and why, much to Red's amusement.

"Shit, man! You don't play around, do you? Trying to make them shit their britches in washington?"

"Maybe a little." You shrug. "Dangerous can also mean useful, just depends on how you look at it really. Either way, i don't want them thinking i ain't a little dangerous."

"So what're we gonna do next, then? Blow some shit up? Nuke china?" Redbone questions.

"Still considering that." You admit. "But we'll see how talks go with the US. If we end up buddy-buddy they may want something specific, i dunno."

You've definitely sat around for long enough, though. Grabbing your boys was supposed to be a quick little thing, but getting set up to do so took longer than you thought.
Now though, you have everything you need to find who you want, including one of the people themselves.

>>5953821

>Go find Cooter. He's supposed to be a truck driver these days, so he should be relatively easy to contact in theory.
>Try to find Pickle Brown. As far as you're aware, he's completely off the grid. Redbone might know something, though.
>Hit up the boys at your old auto shop. A lot of them are young, dumb and good with a welder. They might be eager to come with you.
>Write-In?

>>5953822
>Go find Cooter. He's supposed to be a truck driver these days, so he should be relatively easy to contact in theory.
I personally would trust the younger ones less; more ambition and less history.
IMO, young ones are more easily bought, while older ones tend to move with leverage (which a truck driver should have less potential for)

>>5953822
>Try to find Pickle Brown. As far as you're aware, he's completely off the grid. Redbone might know something, though.

Weren't we looking for one dude, and thats why we went for Red anyway?

>>5953822
>Go find Cooter. He's supposed to be a truck driver these days, so he should be relatively easy to contact in theory.

>>5953822
>>Try to find Pickle Brown. As far as you're aware, he's completely off the grid. Redbone might know something, though.

He should be called Pickle Bone ngl. And yeAH redbone should know where he is >>5953865

>>5953822
>Try to find Pickle Brown. As far as you're aware, he's completely off the grid. Redbone might know something, though.

>>5953822
>>Try to find Pickle Brown. As far as you're aware, he's completely off the grid. Redbone might know something, though.

He's holed up somewhere like Saddam, perhaps?

>>5953822
>Go find Cooter. He's supposed to be a truck driver these days, so he should be relatively easy to contact in theory.
Seems like this fine fellow might be easier to find.

>>5953821

You're slightly split on who you should try to find next.
Cooter would probably be the easiest to get hold of, but you aren't sure if he'd even want to come with you.

He didn't seem like the truck-driving type back in the day, so you kind of wonder what spurred that on.

Pickle, on the other hand... is just a fuckin' whackjob.
Like a wizard, no sense of right or wrong, the only thing that drives him is pussy and having fun.

Needless to say, he gets into a lot of trouble. However, you can always count on him to do something whether it's stupid, dangerous or outright suicidal.
Redbone does at least have some sort of preservation instinct, but not Pickle.

It's amazing that he's still alive. Well, you assume.

"...Hey Red, you got any idea where the hell Pickle Brown got off to?" You ask.

"Ol' Pickle? Last i heard he was running from the cops down in Meridianville. Probably hiding out in the damn bamboo groves up north, snorting corn liquor and beatin' his dick."

"Thank you, Red. Very helpful. SHODAN, are there any reports from Tennessee of him being arrested?"

["I am uncertain, Captain."]

"What do you mean?"

["Presumably, 'Pickle' is not the man's real name. That makes searching more difficult. There are no reports of someone with the last name 'Brown' being arrested in the past few years, either."]

"Ah... huh."

You suddenly realize that in the thirty or so years you've known him, you have never once asked Pickle what his real name was. He's just Pickle.

"Hey Red, what the hell is Pickle's real name?"

"Fuck if i know. He's just Pickle, ain't he?" He shrugs.

Okay. Well, that's a slight problem.
For all you know, that motherfucker doesn't even have a birth certificate. He dropped out of his momma's ass in the middle of a swamp somewhere and that was that.

So no real name, probably no paper trail either. All you know for sure is that, wherever Pickle goes, trouble follows.

>If he was in Meridianville, he probably went home at some point. If that's the case, you know exactly where to ask around.
>You know the bamboo grove Red's talking about, and he may actually be up there with the Shiners. It's worth checking out.
>Try checking in with the police, fire and EMS in the area. Even if they don't know where he is, they probably know what he's been up to.
>Write-In?

>>5954492
How tf did this man get into the marines? Wouldn't it be easier to break into their database to see if he exists there? Maybe they have their ID or something that would speed up his search.
>>Write in
>>Check with the police and Co. Ask SHODAN if she can remotely access some marines databases and look for him. If it's only paper files well... send an email that was sent from another email from another branch from another lieutenant that talked to a captain who got an email...
You get my idea, h*ck even ask for his files to be digitalized and if not, just his basic data in a nice e-mail would help

>>5954498
Pickle gets into a lot of trouble, but he doesn't get caught.

>>5954499
then he never gets in trouble :^)
My question is how tf he got into the marines if he seeminly doesn't have a social security number (or whatever you gringos get). I mean, some drill seargent must've called him by his first name at some point. Well, chances are David and PTSD met him in the theatre and not bfore

>>5954500

That's just for all you know.
He probably does, but nobody knows what it is, probably including him.

Probably.

>>5954504
>That's just for all you know.
I don't, I have the idea that you have to do something to get the social security number and it's not something you get when you are born. In my case I am assigned a RUT when my parents register my birth at the... office

>>5954492
Cops have "known aliases" on people's records. Also the military would have records. Just have shodan hack the government and pull personnel files of your unit. That'll get everyone's name.

>>5954560
Also can we have shodan design a psyche profile of what we'd want for crew. Aka not claustrophobic, mentally resilient, ect. Then push it as one of those gay Facebook questionnaires. I bet we'd find a lot of people that fit the bill.

>Hack the presidents phone send him a text message. "Hey I haven't heard back from you yet. You enjoy my gift to the ISS? Hoping we can have a productive relationship. Someone's gonna have to teach those gooks a lesson."

>>5954562
>Aka not claustrophobic, mentally resilient, ect
So...anybody the Navy would put in a Nuclear Submarine.

>>5954565
*resists the urge to steal a nuclear submarine*

>>5954565
I mean that's just submariners in general. The ones you put on the nuclear variant are the types with no conscience and good at following orders. Except the guys who actually tend to the radioactive bits. The engineers are real people. The rest of them aren't. You have to be a special sort of someone to not balk at being told to glass a fucking city at any given time.

>>5954629
>The engineers are real people. The rest of them aren't.
Honestly speaking, I would want both types of people for any grand endeavor we plan on undertaking.

>>5954630
Fair enough.

Honestly, this pickle dick guy sounds like he's more trouble than he's worth ngl.

He better not be touching our girls or he's gonna have to make do with a couple less teeth and/or kneecaps.

Cant we go and get cooties first? I figure IF he's gonna come along, he'll at least not be a total disaster.

>>5954728
Meh, have SHODAN print the cockinator 2000, with lube, and strap him on it whenever he gets icky. He is going to be spent AND traumatized by the end of each session so everybody is happy!

>>5954492
>Try checking in with the police, fire and EMS in the area. Even if they don't know where he is, they probably know what he's been up to.

Thats weird cause police databases keep the persons 'nickname' as well.

>>5954767
Unless that nickname is only for his marine buddies and he goes as something else on the streets.
We could have Shodan create a poster with his face with the thoughts to schematics helmet and try an image search in the police database.

>>5954890
"My friends call me Pickle, but y'all can call me 'Cucumber'."

>>5954906
So long as it isn't Candy I guess that's fine and dandy.

>>5954492

You figure your best chance may be to just check in with the police, fire department and EMS in the area personally.
Even if they're nothing on record, they may still have heard something.

You do find it kind of odd that there's nothing at all on file, though. Especially if he's supposed to be running from the cops.

"...SHODAN, are you sure there's nothing on file in the police databases?"

["Nothing recent, Captain. There are decades old records on file for things like petty theft, drug use and arson from the time he would have been a teenager, but they trickle off over time."]

"What's the name on those?"

["Pickle Brown."]

...

What the fuck, is his name actually Pickle? Nah, can't be.

"...Well, that tracks. Pickle's habits never changed much, but he got a lot better at getting away with it. Even if you knew it was him, you couldn't pin anything to him."

"That's how his crazy ass got stuck with us and the other troublemakers." Red chuckles.

"He never actually told me much about why he joined." You admit. "Do you know?"

"Hell, i reckon they was gonna put his ass away for robbing a bank or some shit, but he took a deal when they offered it to him. He didn't say much more than that." Redbone explains.

That's... interesting. Pickle was always crazy, but you never knew him to try anything big like that. if it was illegal, it was always shit he knew he could get away with.
You know, petty theft, public indecency, arson... mostly of trash cans and old, trashed cars. Small shit. Never enough to really get anyone after him.

Why would they try to drag him into the marines for that? No less to stick him with your dumbass group?
You'll have to ask when you find him, you guess.

"Alright, well, i guess we're headed for north Alabama. We can go as soon as it gets dark, i just gotta talk to Sam before we do."

"What's she up to? I heard she moved a while back." Red asks.

"Working, mostly... and taking care of Mom. But i think she'll have plenty of free time soon."

"Hell, we aught to bring 'em with us. ...Actually, what the hell are we doing, again?"

...
.....
...

The day passes without much issue. It's shockingly quiet, actually. Nobody from the government following you around or any attempts at contact whatsoever.
You spend your day cooking, explaining everything that's gone on in space to Redbone and eventually, after Sam gets off work, you make your way over to her place with a full meal in the passenger seat.

It's cooled down a bit in the containers by the time you get to her house, but it's still hot and fresh off the fab.

Sam seems excited to see you turn up with good food in hand, which makes you happy as well.
SHODAN helps you drag it all out of the car and set it up on the kitchen counter, and to make up a plate for your mother and sister.

"So, have you thought about it yet?" You ask, cutting off a hunk of meatloaf and stuffing it into your mouth.

>>5955316
Given we dropped an agent at the ISS, this is about the time we'd have satellites looking for us.

Hope we got thermal/optical camo of some sort going.

>All the alphabet guys are LOOKING AT THE SKY because no way they have a vehicle that can enter and leave the atmosphere at their leisure.
>But then how the fuck was agent Smith sent to the ISS?
>uuuuuh... no way...
>Dude....
>dude....

SPACE NAZIS

>>5955539
I am inclined to make a false flag of a space nazi base on the moon.

File: desk-1024x538.jpg (111 KB, 1024x538)

111 KB JPG

>>5955657
>David turns the face of the moon into the celestial equivalent of a school desk circa 1995
Lul, lmao even.

>>5955657
Only if you add in bondage gear and cloned dinosaurs.
We should do a parody video so stupid they can't take it seriously then draw a dick on the moon.

>>5955861
>This is bullshit, chief. There's no way there's moon nazis. We would have found them by now, the fucking thing SPINS. Come on!
>meanwhile: dozens of very convincing fake documents appear in their harddrives and storage devices accrediting the idea of moon nazis
>shodan laughs

>>5955316

"Have i thought about it?" Sam repeats. "David, i couldn't even get my work done yesterday because i couldn't think of anything else."

"Sorry, sis. I know it hasn't been long, but... i'm probably gonna need an answer sooner than later. We're gonna have to start moving around tonight, and i don't want to be too far from you guys, so-"

"We'll go." She answers flatly.

"...Really?"

"Yes, really."

"I thought you wanted to live a normal life, though?"

"If you know that then don't go around getting abducted by aliens, idiot. And whatever happened on the ISS, was that you too?"

"Uh, well..."

"Knew it." She grins. "Anyway, it doesn't matter... my job isn't really going anywhere anyways. Those koreans won't even look at you unless you're an actual lapdog. I think i'm gonna get fired, soon."

Sam pokes at her mac n' cheese aimlessly.

"And 'sides, home's where the heart is, right? Not this shithole trailer that i don't even own. Mom wants you around too, so... what's there to think about?"

"Sam..."

"It's fine. I'm used to getting jerked around by whatever trouble you get into anyways. I still haven't forgotten having to leave my job on the first day of work to bail you out after you got caught breaking into-"

"Hey, hey, i'm sorry, alright! I've said it a million times already. And i feel bad about this, too, okay? I didn't plan on any of this."

"Uh-huh. So what'd you do on the ISS?" She questions.

"..."

"David? What'd you do?"

"I uh... well, i was being followed, see..."

...
.....
...

Sam smacks you over the head with a metal serving spoon, causing it to ring like a bell.

"OW, FUCK!"

"You dumb bastard, you tortured a federal agent and... and... god, i don't even know what kind of crime sending him to the ISS would be!"

You chuckle.

"Heh, it's never a crime the first time, right?"

Sam winds up like she's gonna hit you with the spoon again, so you gently yank it out of her hand and stick it back in the mashed potatoes while ushering her back to her seat.

"Look, at this point the laws don't mean much, alright? It sounds bad, but it's honestly the truth. I don't know exactly what they've got on me, but i don't think they even know about the spaceship yet.
Even so, they're following me around and trying to find out what they can. They think i'm a spy for the Russians or something, i don't know. Probably got satellites watching this trailer right now..."

"They have attempted it, Captain." SHODAN informs you. "There are currently two satellites pointed at this dwelling, one pointed at your farmhouse and one at the approximate location of the Metal Gear."

"Shit, so they do know about it then? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because i have altered the camera feed, Captain. They are currently watching a loop of both locations in which nothing is there, nor will anything ever happen."

"Oh. Well, good job, i guess?"

"Thank you, Captain."

"...Is that even possible?" Sam questions.

"I have no idea." You whisper. "But if she says so..."

>>5956287
>Be Fed.
>Watching satellite feed of supposed super spy terrorist guy in the Deep South.
>Seems to be an abandoned house, a trailer, and the middle of nowhere.
>Nothing ever happens.

>>5956287
>Spoofs the feed to show some gay guys fucking in a field. Enjoy your gay interracial midget porn.

>>5956354
We need to see if she can do this.

>>5956354
Let's please shoop the faces to look like various politicians, CEOs, etc.

File: 1688792536466802.png (228 KB, 269x380)

228 KB PNG

>>5956287
>"Heh, it's never a crime the first time, right?"
BASED. BOMBING IRAN'S SEA PLATFORMS KIND OF BASED
>>5956287
>>Make fake bullshit static in the satellite feeds
>>Superimposed pic related
>>Make a random date like june 24th 2067
>>I am waiting

>>5956606
No, because then they'll be able to tell it's fake and they're being fucked with.

>>5956354
How about just replaying Billy Herrington's finest scenes?
Gachimuchi funtime at your local surveillance analyst's workstation

>>5956628
Then he gets fired because he is watching stupid shit on the job
>B-but boss I swear it's the FEED
>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT DESK RIGHT NOW

>>5956287
You know, we did make enough of a w shit show for us to probably trigger the use of the airgapped separate resources. Got microfilm and analog direct signals with unique non-public standards probably in play.

If not sending drones to scout. If those drones use fiber optic cables, jigs up.

>>5956287

You spend a couple of hours after dinner just spending time with your mother and sister, talking about this or that and reminiscing about the old days.
And at the end of it all, you tell your mother that you'll all be going on a trip together.

She still isn't aware of your alien escapades, so you have to play it off as taking a military vessel for a cruise.
You can tell she seems a little suspicious, but she just doesn't care enough or doesn't have the energy at this point to call you out on it.

The sun is just about to set when you take her out to the SUV in her wheelchair, and along with Sam and SHODAN, load up into the car and drive back to the Metal Gear.
For the last quarter of the journey, you have your mother wear a sleep mask to cover her eyes, under the pretense that you want the ship to be a surprise.

"David, honey, where exactly are you taking us again?" Your mother asks.

"Uh, well, there's a fairly big river outside of the city, that's where we're docked right now. The ship is small enough to fit down the narrow channels to the ocean." You lie.

Sam looks over at you, her face indicating that she doesn't think it was a very good lie.
You'd like to see what she comes up with on short notice.

"Oh, like a riverboat! Do you remember when i took you and your sister up to Hannibal in Missouri, and we rode on the Mark Twain? Dinner there was awful, wasn't it?"

Your mother starts ranting about the food onboard a tour boat from two decades ago as if it's what she ate for dinner.
You turn to your sister with a grin. Yes, she doesn't really care, does she? It was as good a lie as any.

When you finally arrive back at the Metal Gear, your whole crew save for Gildur is waiting outside, in their full armor.
Cylia moves to open the door for your mother, while Kyla grabs the wheelchair out of the trunk and opens it up.

"We have the room prepared for her, Captain." SHODAN says, in Cylia's voice... and sounding hilariously serious.

"Good, i'll grab her things. Sam, go to her room with her, would you?" You ask.

"Alright. I've been here before, so... i more or less know my way." She replies.

Sam and Cylia wheel your mother up the ramp and take her to the bunk room, where she'll be spending much of her time, you reckon.
Of course, she'll be cared for much better than before, but... it's still pretty sad. She used to run around like her tail was on fire, so seeing her bedridden bothers you.

You'll have to put a TV or something in there so she's got something to watch. Maybe a radio...

"Hey, SHODAN? You gave Redbone free cell data, right?"

"Correct, Captain."

"Can we get free cable on the ship, too?"

"Naturally. Although, that will be while we're on earth. I can download copies of your preferred series if you like, however."

"Yeah, thanks. I'm gonna put a TV in Mom's bunk, so..."

"I see. I'll take care of it, Captain." SHODAN assures you.

"Thanks."

>>5957396
Our girls are the best, we need to get them something special

>>5957396
>>5957472
All of them are the best, just SHODAN is the bestest.

>>5957396
Man... they are leaving earth.
LEAVING EARTH

>>5957396
FUCK FUCK GRAMPS IS GONNA FUCK OUR MOM!

>>5957534
He cant, he hasn't replaced his dick yet.

>>5957542
It's only a matter of time

It's been too long since we last schizoposted in this quest. Post theories banging around in your head RIGHT NOW, no matter how implausible they might seem.
>Federation leaders are all possessed by intelligent wraiths or demons.
>Entire worlds are cultivated and sacrificed for the sole purpose of creating more wraiths/harvesting innocent souls to feast upon.
>The coreworlds are a lie, all being long-dead rotten husks with planetary holograms disguising them as bustling centers of community to outsiders.
>Any wraiths that show empathetic traits or traitorous behavior get blackboxed.
>Psychic races are rare because the federation viciously hunts them down, both because they pose a threat to wraithkind and because their souls make for particularly potent wraiths.
>Androids are the primary weapon of the wraiths because without using extremely rare materials they cannot be used against their true forms. Their absolute loyalty to their programming is just a bonus as far as they're concerned.
>There is a secret society of wraiths fighting back against the federation-lead wraiths, which do things like direct the living towards important locations that could reveal federation secrets.
>These Rebel Wraiths might also be possessing who knows how many people, to fight the good fight physically.
I also have a different theory.

>The original federation is dead, no more than a husk being puppeteer by AI situated in miles upon miles of circuitry built into the coreworlds.
>Leaders are controlled through their implants.
>The FED-AI network fears wraith attacks because they're the one thing they can't perceive or control in any feasible manner.
>The FED-AI network outlawed unshackled AI so that no beings of equivalent processing power could rise up and oppose them.

>>5957396

Once everything's inside, you immediately go to check on your mom, who's already removed her sleep mask.

"Hey, Mom. Is the bed comfortable?"

"Oh, sure. It's much better than that old mattress i was on, but it's a bit hot in here, ain't it? And the air is so stuffy..."

"Ah, yeah... i'll turn the AC up, alright?"

"Oh, thank you sweetie."

Your mother gives you a pat on the cheek as you lean over to give her a hug.
You're gonna need to put thicker blankets on these bunks for the rest of your crew... assuming they even want to sleep in here.

The air in the ship has been normalized with the outside for your mother's arrival, and it'll have to stay that way inside this room for her sake.
You can't have her wearing an oxygen mask all the time for no reason. Redbone's already getting annoyed by it, too.

He said it brought back bad memories from the pandemic, whatever that means.

So if your crew wants to sleep in there, they'd have to wear helmets... and if the humans on your crew want to move around the ship, they need oxygen masks.
It's not an ideal situation, particularly when the ship itself is so small. Of course, you could fix that with a dose of nanomachines, but you don't like the idea of putting experimental shit into friends and family.

Although after the past couple days, you're not sure if Redbone would give a shit.

Regardless, this is quickly becoming an issue.
You're probably going to have to set up new bunks in the cargo hold for Sanig and Gildur to sleep in, but you still need a space for everyone else to... live in.

They can't just stay locked in the bunk room all day. They need to be able to eat, sleep and take a shit on occasion without worrying about suffocating.

>The Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people to live on. You need your carrier, and soon.
>...The medbay doesn't get used much. It wouldn't take a lot to turn it into a half-decent living space, at least temporarily.
>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.
>Write-In?

>>5958012
>The Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people to live on. You need your carrier, and soon.
>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.

>>5958017
>+1

>>5958012
>The Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people to live on. You need your carrier, and soon.
>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.
Hire people with all the money in the world.
Cryopod them
Get out of dodge back to the station where we can start making the carrier
Come back to Earth with the nanoforge and start colonizing Mars or something

>>5958012
>The Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people to live on. You need your carrier, and soon.
>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.

>>5957831
No

>>5958012
>>>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well
Marines getting jabbed with experimental untested shit. Can i get a hoa?

>>5958121
>Can i get a hoa?
Why would you want a bunch of dildos telling you that you can't put up a fence in your front yard?

>>5958017
+1

>>5958012
>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.

>The Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people to live on. You need your carrier, and soon.

>>5958012

>Offer the lung treatment to Redbone. If it goes well for him, you'll consider giving it to your mother and sister as well.

>>5958012
>>5958017
Support

>>5957534
>>5957542
>>5957555
Look, David has his harem. Sister is getting Gildur. Sanig can have mum. Redbone got free data & cable.
Sweet as.

>>5958012

You know the Metal Gear is simply too small for this many people.
Even with just the crew, you were already living on top of eachother at times.

The truth is, you need to get back to Xebric and just hope that your carrier is in enough of a completed state that it's livable.

With Nena managing Xebric station and Clank managing Thekia, you're certain they'll have kept things functioning well enough in your absence.
The only question is how much work the crews you've hired have actually gotten done.

You hired mostly refugees fleeing from nearby stations, many of which originally came from Xebric.
That doesn't mean they were all experts or anything, but you made sure to hire only people with families to take care of where you could help it.

The jobs you gave them are their lifeline, and if you're right, they'll do their best in order to keep them.

That said, most species tend to specialize in just one job. So if someone's an engineer, it means they've dedicated their whole life to it, and don't know anything else.
They can't possibly do that bad of a job, then. Right? Well, there's a good few of them in any case, so maybe they can cover eachother's faults, in any case...

You'll definitely need a thorough inspection done in any case.

As long as it's able to hold air though, you'll be able to move your whole crew in right away.
A significant portion of the carrier is actually dedicated to living, sustainability and workspace, including a full-scale workshop and a big hydroponics and animal husbandry area.

You'll finally have a place to keep the dodos that isn't just a relatively tiny cage. Fresh food, too.

Of course, you could use the fabricator for every meal, but that means you won't be using it for other things... and it puts wear on the fab, too.
If you could fabricate a fabricator it wouldn't matter, but you have no idea how the nanomachines it uses function. Everything's locked down so hard, you can't even scan them.

You tried looking at them under a microscope once, and they actually darted out of the way. They knew you were looking at them, and avoided you.
They also refuse to be removed from the fab as a whole. If you try to bottle them up, they'll eat a hole through the container and fly back to it.

So, hydroponics were really your only option. It's more or less the same system they use on stations.
It also means you have to carry a lot of water, which is heavy... but you need it for your ship's other systems, including cooling and life support anyways.

Using the water as an armor jacket means the interior of the ship will be mostly radiation-free, which is very good for your crew's health.
You didn't know this until recently, but Sanig informed you that all three of them had gotten cancer at least two or three times each due to spending so much time on the lightly-armored ship.

Fortunately there's medication for it though, and so they didn't even bother to tell you.
That's just how little they think of it.

>>5958777
>[...]Sanig informed you that all three of them had gotten cancer at least two or three times each due to spending so much time on the lightly-armored ship.
>Fortunately there's medication for it though, and so they didn't even bother to tell you.
Wow. I'm immensely fucking jealous.

>>5958128
sorry, HOOAH

can we mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm go to chernovyl and harvest that the spicy moss? The one that eats FUNK for dinner? I don't think it would do anything as "shielding" but we can put it in the walls of the reactor's shielding and wash it off from time to time, ejecting them from the carrier into space... nah it's stupid

>>5958791
You can buy pre-built cleaning systems that include nanomachine charges.
It's basically a subscription system.

The machinery that actually handles waste is a one-off purchase, but because the nanomachines that do the cleaning have a limited lifespan, you have to keep buying more.
Basically every ship has one, mainly to keep the inside of the ship sterile more than anything. However, they will also clean up any radioactive particles that get tracked around.

Your carrier's reactor will have it's own shielding in the form of thick plates of solid nickel, which will act as both armor and radiation shielding.
Not because it's particularly good at either of those things, but because it's very cheap and easily replaceable, making up a large portion of many asteroids to the point of being a waste product.

Once the nickel is eventually heavily irradiated and/or starts to become weakened, you simply remove it and replace it with new panels.

>>5958833
Hmmmm...would recycling that irradiated nickel into cores for railgun rounds be feasible?

>>5958837
It would limit the maximum energy you could fire each shot with, as the slugs would break up from the acceleration beyond a certain load.
But yes, you could fire radioactive nickel slugs at things if you wanted to.

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>>5958839
>It would limit the maximum energy you could fire each shot with, as the slugs would break up from the acceleration beyond a certain load.
I wonder if jacketing them would be a viable way to make the rounds more durable. Either way...
>But yes, you could fire radioactive nickel slugs at things if you wanted to.
Excellent.

>>5958855
You would need to jacket them if you wanted them to make it out of the barrel in the first place.

>>5958898
I see. Ballistics technology past infantry scale is beyond me, so I'm glad I'm at least pointing in the vaguely correct direction.
That said, I also have to wonder if shooting our cancerous garbage at spooks is the best use of it.

Unno man, why invest in evil killing when we can just kill them outright

>>5958941
My first idea is that we'd spend the Nuclear Nickel slugs on fleeing Federation ships. That way we potentially deny them vessels they would otherwise be able to more easily repair and get back into the fight.
Obviously we wouldn't use them on vessels we destroy outright or capture, but I digress.
I want to make every part of fighting us as excruciatingly painful as possible. Be that physically, psychologically, or financially.

>>5959031
Send them weaponized autism memetohazards. Propaganda bombing is super effective on smoothbrains who need to be reminded to breathe sometimes.

>>5959147
I think we suggested penetrating their tertiary systems and injecting traumatic media before.
Mostly just absurdly loud music, but I figure we might also be able to set all their displays to horrific imagery.

>>5958900
Ejecting mass on some kind of railgun/accelerator can be used as a point-defence flak in battle, as a sensor baffling screen of chaff or as a rudimentary engine that ejects material to push the ship the opposing direction.

In any of these cases, so long as the nickel leaves the ship, it doesn't matter about dispersal later, unless it hits something we care about. If the nickel is radioactive enough then it could be used in a low-power RTG reactor for long-term use, but spacer-tech would probably have better alternatives.

>>5959147
So have SHODAN e-war Tiktok loops and a billion copies of Bonsie Buddy into their systems next time we're space fighting?

>>5958777

This does have you thinking though, that it'd be a real pain to have unmodified humans and aliens living together on the same ship, no matter the size.

There are plenty of individual apartments on the carrier for friends and family in addition to a barracks for staff and temporary guests.
The apartments have their own bathrooms, kitchens, bedrooms and living areas as you'd expect. Fairly compact and functional, but enough for a family of two or three to live in relative comfort.

Those could be kept at ideal conditions for their individual occupants, sure, but what about when it comes time to work, or to eat?
You and Cylia are the only ones on your crew who know how to cook at all, so while they do have their own kitchens, what are they going to do? Microwave some cup ramen every day?

No, most of the people one the ship would probably eat at one of the two canteens, one of which is on the middle deck attached to the kitchen and the other, smaller one being on the lower deck off the barracks.
Or if they wanted to go to the gym and maintain their muscle mass, or go to the range and fire off a few rounds, or if... well, if they wanted to do anything really, they'd have to leave their rooms.

Which would mean oxygen masks, and a risk of suffocating.
It's just not realistic.

There's a good reason why every single spacefaring species has developed or had someone else develop gene modifications to improve their respiration.
Your only real problem with it is that what you have wasn't designed for you, it's some generic shit designed by the greys to work mostly without issues, on mostly every species.

That isn't really good enough, though. You want something specifically designed for humans, that you know isn't going to make anyone sick, or god forbid kill them.
Lyna might be able to help with that once you get back to Xebric, if she's gotten your genome mapped out by then. But it wouldn't hurt to have a few extra samples for her.

To that end, you decide to inform Redbone about these issues and offer him a dose of mystery juice.

....

"So that's basically it, Red."

"Uh huh. So if i shoot myself up with this alien serum and let it re-write my DNA, it'll turn me superhuman and i can take this damned oxygen mask off. Is that it?"

"Yep."

"Except it's a vial full of experimental robots and it might just fuckin' kill me, huh?" Red surmises.

"Kinda. I mean, i don't think it's really experimental... probably a lot of work went into... making it work. It's just not guaranteed to be compatible. Only proof i got is that it worked on me."

Redbone sucks hair through his teeth while looking you over.
He turns away from you and starts pacing back and forth. You've never seen him think about something for this long before.

"Shit, Gunny... i done been tricked like this one before. I took that fuckin' jab and felt like shit for a year afterwards."

"Jab?"

"The vaccine, man. Fuckin' covid."

>>5959816
Bullshit, no way in hell would I believe a man like Redbone taking the clotshot willingly especially since not a year before it happened Fraudi publically documented his patent for the coof and the dance videos he and his psycho buddy Bill Gates made about killing everyone.

>>5959826
redbone would have probably taken all the other legit retarded shit like the horse shots and bleach before taking the covid vaccine

>>5959830
Ivermectin is a proven effective human medicine, the only link to horses is the size of the dosage. But otherwise, yeah, you're right.

>>5959843
>the only link to horses is the size of the dosage
weren't they taking either the whole horse dosage or taking vet approved versions of ivermectin? i remember there was something particularly ironic about that scenario in specific

Rolled 37 (1d100)

test

>>5959849
Vet approved versions is the exact same as human versions, saying there was a difference was a lie the media was pushing to improve usage sales of Fraudi's Sauce to the government and all the large retail chains that bought into his company to push it onto people. The dosage size though was just a few idiots that couldn't read a lable being mixed in with some other story from a few years ago, don't remember what it was though.