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File: OP Image 3.png (7.49 MB, 3000x3000)
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Your name is David "Gunny" Rockefeller, no relation.
A veteran of the united states marine corps, you find yourself in a far-out situation after an all-too-close encounter of the third kind!

In the last thread you unlocked Redbone's psychic potential, made an example out of a federal agent by dumping him outside the ISS and tracked down one of your old friends.
However, the government also made contact with you, and made clear they're both aware of and concerned by your presence.

Intending to stay on relatively good terms with them, you offered to clear things up by sharing some basic information and keeping in contact.
With your time on earth close to wrapping up, there's not much left to do before heading back into space. Will everything go according to plan, or will there be a hitch?

Find out this time, on Humanity Fuck Yeah!

>Last Thread: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2024/5943919/
>All Threads: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=humanity+-+fuck+yeah%21
>Google Doc: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1rNxD6ccWY5M48dLWuTWdr5LiYLuS_YIAMKlTLw42eeo/edit#gid=0
>Discord Link: https://discord.gg/PYJ7Aa3zQF
>>
>>5980440

"Yeah, remember how i said 'most species ain't like us'? That includes brainpower. They ain't stupid or nothing, but... it takes a long time for them to learn anything new. That's why they're so heavily specialized."

Pickle scratches his chin. He's thinking about something.

"Not very adaptable, huh..." He murmurs.

"Not at all. Any sort of change stresses them right the hell out, and most of them... well, they can't fight for shit. A lot of the leaf-eaters will actually die from shock if they get injured too badly."

"Yeah? There's nothing weird about that, is there?" Pickle shrugs.

"No, i'm not talking about getting limbs ripped off or having your guts hanging out. I mean like, if you accidentally set your hand on the stove. The pain would just kill them, straight up."

"...Oh. Oh wow, yeah that's pretty bad."

"Yeah. So they're not fighters. And being the majority, they look down on 'predators' a lot."

"...What kind of 'predators'?"

"Literally, predators. Anyone who eats meat, fish... even eggs in some cases. If you're not a vegan they act like you're a cannibal or something." You explain.

"Savages." Pickle declares.

"The carnivores on my ship tend to agree. Funnily enough, some of them have no qualms about killing predators... as long as you don't eat them. Not that i'd eat an alien, probably... usually."

Pickle sniffs loudly as he seems to be considering something.

"...Depends on the alien though, don't it?" He ponders. "I mean, if it was like... i dunno, if it smelled like bacon..."

"I mean yeah, at that point, like... you gotta try a bite, right? If it's literally a pig-man? There's a lot of vaguely animal-shaped aliens out there, y'know. Even Cylia has cat-like features."

"You eat korean?" Red asks, slurring his words slightly. He's about a third of the way through that tequila bottle already, holy shit.

"Every night. Sometimes twice." You tell him, stonefaced.

"Alwaysh leaves you hungry, don't it...?" He replies.

"That's chinese, Red." You remind him.

"Oh, right. Heh. Hey, Gunny. You chinese or japanese? Nah, he's laotian!"

"That's nice, Red. ...What were we talking about?"

"Eating people, i think." Pickle shrugs.

"Ah, yeah. Let's uh, not do that. Even if it's tempting."

"Yeah, definitely."

Pickle sniffs again and looks away from you as he says that.
...You just hope he doesn't get caught doing something he shouldn't.

"So, anyways... i was thinking, y'know, i have my left and right hand men already, right?"

You gesture towards Pickle and Redbone respectively.

"But i wouldn't mind getting Cooter out here with us, too. He's always been good at dealing with people, better than me anyhow."

"Ah, i'd give up on that..." Pickle tells you, shaking his head. "I've barely heard from Cooter the past five years. He's totally off-grid, working as a truck driver to stay on the move."

"What, you don't think he'd come with?"

"Nah. Last i saw him he was the happiest he'd ever been."
>>
>>5981317
We might still be able to get him as a captain making runs between earth and our stations, it's worth a try at least.
>>
>>5981317

i don't know why, but i have the feeling pickle will end up hooking up with the snake doctor
>HHHHH
>>
>>5981430
Every army's strength is its logistics after all. But will he be happy balancing excel spreadsheets, unless we give him an AI/VI to do the grunt work for him.
>>
>>5981317
he's happy, sure.

But he also doesn't even know this is an option.
Lets give him that option.

Can always hijack TV stations in possible areas to put an ad for him with a phone number. Then have SHODAN run a subprocess to filter out callers til he shows up.
>>
>>5981542
Actually he's a trucker.
More likely it's AM/FM radio stations. No way he's running internet on his phone if he's on the move.
>>
>>5981544
Assuming hes an owner OP its far easier than that hes got his number out there to receive loads somehow just have shodan scrape the internet for his number or hell just pull his info from the DOT database
>>
>>5981544
>No way he's running internet on his phone if he's on the move.
why not? that's what a lot of truckers do
>>
>>5981562
Even if he's not an owner, having a cell is a MUST for truckers these days. Sure, you can get most of your load info through Qualcomm or whatever E-log your company uses, but if you have questions or need to give updates, it can take ages to get replies through that thing, and you can't use it while driving, so both companies I drove OTR for made having a phone a requirement.
>>
>>5981675
It sounds like he's trying to stay under the radar.
I mean if he's not, then it shouldn't be that hard to find him
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT2i7mFpFxM
you guys SUCK BALLS at this.
Here, this is how we find Cooters
>>
>>5981317

"Don't mean he won't want to come with anyway." You reason. "I mean, it's a trip to space to meet aliens. Could be he'd drop everything for the opportunity, i know a lot of folk might."

"Ehhh..."

"What? You're literally going yourself, Pickle."

"I don't exactly have a lot of places left to go, Gunny."

"I mean-"

"No." He asserts, cutting you off. "I fuckin' hate New Zealand, and that guy's a freak anyways."

"I'm just saying, it's always an option." You shrug.

"No, goddamnit."

"Well fine, then! I guess you're stuck with us, asshole. SHODAN, do you think you can find Cooter, since he's working a real job and all?"

["Easily, Captain. One moment."]

"...So the computer speaks english, but your crew doesn't?" Pickle asks.

"Yeah. See, everybody in space has a little brain implant that usually takes care of translation for you, but we ain't got any for humans yet, so..."

"How do you talk to them, then? You have your e-girl translate everything?"

"Nope. See, when i got abducted, i-"

["Search complete, Captain. Richard Brownlee, 44 years old. Currently working as a long-haul trucker for J. B. Hunt. He is currently delivering goods to an amazon warehouse on highway 80 in Texas."]

"Do you have a phone number?"

["Yes, Captain."]

"Well hell, put us through then. We'll make it a group call."

["Patching you through, Captain."]

You're greeted by a ringing coming through your holowatch, which takes a while before finally going to voice mail.

["This is Richard. Leave a message if you need me."] Is all it says.

"Hey, Cooter! Pick up asshole, it's Gunny!"

"And Pickle!"

"And REEEEEBOOOONE!" Red announces, leaning back in his chair and completely leaving the "D" out in his pronunciation.

"And Redbone, yes. So pick up, fucker. We need to talk."

...

Less than five minutes later, you get a call back.

["Gunny, is that really you?"] Cooter asks.

"Yep. We're all sitting here, hanging out right now."

["Damn! Everyone said you were dead, brother."]

"You believe everything people tell you?" You chuckle.

["I did that time, honestly. You just up and disappeared, didn't you? Where you been?"]

"Ah, well..."

You spend a good half hour explaining more or less what happened.
It's a lot easier to get him believing you with Pickle and Redbone there to back you up, but you still send him some photos as evidence.

Only...

["Sorry, brother. I can't come with you."]

"Well why the hell not? If it's money you're worried about, i..."

["Nah. I've never been rich, but right now i'm happy with where i'm at and what i'm doing."] He explains. ["I finally feel like i'm free, you know? Like i've finally put all that shit in the past behind me."]

"...So no space adventures?"

["Fraid not, Gunny. I got my buddy here to take care of, and... well, there's still more of the country i want to see. Lots of roads left untraveled."]

You hear the sound of him patting his dog's side through the phone.
>>
>>5982355

>Try to convince him. There's room for two dogs on the ship, and there's even more shit to see out in space.
>Leave the offer open. Maybe he'll change his mind at a later date.
>Give up on it. He seems pretty content, and you've already got a couple of your boys anyhow.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5982356
>Leave the offer open. Maybe he'll change his mind at a later date.
>>
>>5982356
>Leave the offer open. Maybe he'll change his mind at a later date.
>>
>>5982356
>Leave the offer open. Maybe he'll change his mind at a later date.
>>
>>5982355
>Leave the offer open. Maybe he'll change his mind at a later date.

And point out your probably going to need some space truckers in the near future
>>
>>5982356
>Try to convince him. There's room for two dogs on the ship, and there's even more shit to see out in space.
>Leave the offer open. Maybe he'll change his mind at a later date.

We don't need him to do fighting or space adventuring stuff.
A trucker is useful too. We don't need glory hounds for a lot of the work we're doing. Simply someone who has his shit together and is living well is more than good for the people who could use help.

And if not a person with a good heart and calm demeanor, then who?
>>
>>5982356
>Invite him to a cookout, it'll be good to catch up anyways. Maybe we can do it like last time but a little more fancy.
>>
>>5982356
>>Leave the offer open. Maybe he'll change his mind at a later date.
>>
>>5982356
>>Give up on it. He seems pretty content, and you've already got a couple of your boys anyhow.
let him go
>>
>>5982356
>Give up on it. He seems pretty content, and you've already got a couple of your boys anyhow.
>Say you are happy for him.
Our man man made it, he found his small measure of peace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P93JhrkedV0&t=374s
>>
>>5982355
>Try to convince him. There's room for two dogs on the ship, and there's even more shit to see out in space.

>We need a pilot to fly one of the space ships. Plus the CIA us gonna probably start fucking with you. Just a heads up.
>>
>>5982356
>>Leave the offer open. Maybe he'll change his mind at a later date.
>>
>>5982356
>>Leave the offer open. He seems pretty content,but maybe he'll change his mind at a later date.

its not like we won't need a space trucker in the future. maybe he'll be more interested in the idea then
>>
>>5982356
>>5982459
Cookout, with the best friends team + ayyyys
>>
>>5982824
Maybe hold off on any downtime festivities until we're safely offworld.
We've already programmed our food fabbers, and the last thing we need is a company of glowie sponsored deniable assets fastroping in and scaring the bejesus out of mom and sis. If the guy doesn't want to play Traveller with us, let's go ahead and exit stage left, then ask dude again next time we pass through.
>>
>>5982355

After chatting with Cooter for a while longer, you decide to give up on getting him to come with you... for now.
But you suspect you'll be needing the deep space equivalent of a long haul trucker at some point in the future, and after telling him as much, he agrees to keep it in mind.

He really doesn't seem eager to be thrown into any sort of conflict, though. He's had enough of that, it would seem.

You spend the rest of that day mostly relaxing with your crew, your family and your friends.
After showing Pickle around the ship, you and Red explain the whole telepathy awakening process to him, and he immediately gets freaked out and rejects it, wholeheartedly.

He also refuses to go back into the cargo hold until he knows exactly which boxes the wraith remains are stored in, and avoids them like the plague.
It seems he's more superstitious than you realized... although, can you really call it a superstition if it's provably real?

Besides that though, Pickle seems to get along well with the crew, and Sanig in particular, despite their introduction.

That evening, you're in the kitchen attempting to cook the perfect mixed-meat hamburger patty for the fabricator when Kyla busts in with something to show you.

"Hey, Hon! Check it out, i've been working on something all day, and i think you'll like it!" She says, offering it to you with a grin.

Taking it from her, you look it over.
It seems like... a choker necklace with a little black box attached to it. But there's an earpiece hanging off it as well.

"Is this a translator?" You ask, undoing the velcro strap and wrapping it around your neck.

"Yep, and you wear it just like that! The choker will pick up vibrations from your larynx, then feed them to a VI on the ship through a subspace link. The VI handles translation, and then sends the audio back to you!"

"Cool. Does this switch turn it on?"

You flip a small switch on the side of the box, and your question is immediately answered.

"Yep! It's pretty low-powered, so it should only need charged maybe once a month or so."
"Yep! It's pretty low-powered, so it should only need charged maybe once a month or so."

You hear Kyla twice, really three times...

It's very very faint as your translator implant is selectively blocking out the nerve signals of her actual voice from your ears, but it's not perfect. Whenever you focus, you can just slightly hear her actual words.
But they overlap simultaneously with the translation that you chip delivers through those same pathways, so it's almost completely drowned out even then.

And then finally, you hear the translation choker, which is ever so slightly slower than the chip in your head, probably due to signal lag, creating a sort of reverb effect.

"Oh wow, that's weird." You grumble, turning the choker off and removing it.

"Yeah, it's not for anyone who''s already got a translator. But it'll work great for any humans we need to talk to!'
>>
>>5983147
You know. It might be good to stockpile these on the carrier, distributed throughout the ship and everyone trained in using them, in case the feds have an off switch to the translator.
>>
>>5983147
Our baby earned a mating press for that, smart little goblin woman.
>>
>>5983147
Have Pickle and Red seen the Redsang Plague/Cyborg Fight footage, yet?
>>
>>5983147
>a choker necklace with a little black box attached to it. But there's an earpiece hanging off it as well.
like the ones from naruto!!!
>>
>>5983449
They have not.
>>
>>5983583
Well they probably should be briefed on that at some point.
>>
>>5983594
Let's leave all that for when we are in space and they can't get cold feet.
>>
>>5983691
that may breed resentment
they should know what bullshit they'll be fighting against.
>>
>>5983691
>and they can't get cold feet
The other dude's right.
I don't think any of us would like it very much if a long lost friend suddenly appeared, convinced us to join him on an all-expenses paid vacation with exotic babes, only to reveal once we're airborne that we're actually going to be fighting necromorphs and their space-buttsex-vegan-fed glownig handlers.
>>
>>5983691
that's fast way ticket to a mutiny and them joining forces to get the hell out of there
>>
>>5983147

You pull Kyla in tight and give her a big, fat smooch on the cheek.

"Thanks, babe. These are great, i'm sure everyone's gonna love 'em."

Kyla squirms with glee as you hug her with one arm.
She loves having her inventions praised more than she likes being praised herself.

"No problem, hon! Look, here... i used open earbuds because humans don't like anything restrictive, or anything that goes into an orifice. Then for the battery we..."

She starts going off about every little feature, from the fire-resistant plastic to the low-power piezoelectric speaker to the high-efficiency algorithm SHODAN used for data transfer.
Then she also rambles for a while about how hard it was to translate human language effectively due to all the slang and euphemisms we use, and the different structure between languages.

This goes on for about twenty minutes before you finally manage to distract her with another task, that being the space-grade guns you've been working on.

You've given it a lot of thought, and naturally there is simply no good one size fits all solution for every species and every situation.
However, almost every intelligent species is roughly humanoid, and often larger (albeit lighter) than you are.

That makes designing a general-purpose gun fairly easy.

The most critical thing for you, you feel, is that the gun has to function at it's most basic level without electricity, entirely analog.
That's not to say you don't want to take advantage of spacer tech to create a better weapon, but in the case of an EMP, be it from aliens or wraiths...

Well, it has to be able to function no matter what, which means any electronics, even those integrated directly into the gun, need to be purely optional.

You're well aware that a lot of the people using these guns might be random aliens with no experience as well, so some of the features you've considered are for their sake.
Things like a sight that includes a holographic target tracker, or an ammo counter built into the side of the weapon. You know, videogame shit.

But you yourself are more concerned with the materials and function of the weapons themselves. Keeping it lightweight, yet also reducing recoil. Keeping it from jamming up in a vacuum...
There's also the concern of overpenetration when you're in a spaceship. You want bullets that deliver a lot of energy, and yet won't overpenetrate and poke holes in the hull.

You also considered things like caseless ammunition, but that would have been very difficult to manage in a wide range of scenarios, including a vacuum.
The great thing about the primer/casing combo is that it allows the propellant to build pressure and ignite, even in a vacuum. Maybe you could build an airtight firing chamber, but maintaining it? Man...

It's still worth considering for certain ultra-light weaponry, but you have a different concept of it that you'd like to try.

One concept that you've been significantly more interested in however, is the gyrojet.
>>
>Cochrane is now rewatching every single video about gyrojet ammunition
>>
>>5984297
>gyrojet
LETS FUCKING GO
>>
Now I'm curious about the best way to produce these things en masse. Even purpose made weapons fabricators might be leaving something on the table in terms of efficiency.
Extrusion for the metal components (barrels, pins, upper receivers, etc...) and injection molding for all of the polymer/plastic parts are my immediate go-to processes.
That said I'm not particularly imaginative or familiar with every single parts production process out there, so I'm still scratching my head about this.
>>
>>5984312
>>5984310
He is now watching Judge Dredd shooting scene.
>>
>>5984360
Everyone talks shit until Dredd says "Testicular Torquer" to his gun.
>>
>>5984297
yay, R&D scenes. always my favorite part of this quest.
>>
>>5984318
>Extruded metal cap (similar to how cartridges are stretched, but with the closed end at the front
>Extruded semi-star-shaped wire, either with 2 or 4 almost-closed circular holes running down it's length with a slight rotation (like a helix). The holes will be the rocket nozzle
>Chop the extruded semi-star-shaped wire into lengths a little shorter than the extruded metal cap
>Insert chopped wire into the extruded metal cap, the cap will seal off the almost-closed circular holes of the wire
>Fill the helix-holes and the gap at the end of the projectile (chopped wire is a little shorter than metal cap) with rocket propellant
>Cap-off with a primer
The small solid disk of propellant at the base of the cartridge will be the booster charge to quickly give the projectile enough muzzle velocity to be deadly (at the muzzle), then the propellant in the helix-holes will continue burning, providing thrust and stabilizing spin. The cap shape can be designed as the mission requires, and the internal helix wire can provide variable weight, and with the propellant constantly pushing the wire core into it, the projectile won't separate in-flight.
Since it's just metal extruded cap, chopped extruded wire, and very basic assembly, this should be easy to manufacture en-masse, assuming there are propellants and barrel material with the right characteristics to make it work.
The question is how to protect the operator from the exhaust Or don't, but lace it with combat drugs/poisons to make the user more "brave" the more he shoots
>>
>>5984667
>The question is how to protect the operator from the exhaust
Maybe just not have it vent directly into the user's face and hands.
>>
>>5984669
It's a rocket, being launched from the user's hands away from his face, unless you want to put a massive cone on the muzzle? Or perhaps make a pelvic mount?
>>
>>5984667
>The question is how to protect the operator from the exhaust
we can do it like in the pic, but im pretty sure the two staged method you described fixes the issue, although maybe we can improve the gyrojet design so it can swap payloads as needed
>>
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>>5984297

It actually has a fair few benefits over a standard round when it comes to fighting in zero gravity.
A gyrojet round doesn't need a long, heavy barrel to accelerate, which reduces the weight of your weapon and thus increases fuel efficiency and maneuverability when using an RCS pack.

And because the round propels itself mid-flight rather than by using pressure to push back against the gun, it vastly reduces recoil meaning you don't get pushed around much while floating.
Likewise, the bullet itself is the casing and contains it's own propellant, meaning none of the mass carried with you is wasted.

The only downside, really, is that it takes time for a gyrojet to reach it's maximum velocity, as opposed to a regular bullet which only slows down after leaving the barrel.
However, even that can be beneficial as firing from close range, say inside of a ship, will mean that the penetration power of the round is automatically reduced.

They aren't caseless, per-se, but that's not a drawback at all, as the casing protects the propellant and prevents it from igniting easily due to, oh i don't know, fire? Or hot things in general, like say, an ionized nebula.
Of course, if you throw a bullet into the fire it'll go off eventually, but it's better than a bunch of completely exposed propellant.

The main issue with gyrojets is that they're a real pain to manufacture with traditional human methods. Really precise and fiddly things with a high failure rate.
That's not an issue out in space though, since even a shitty mass fabricator used for shipbuilding is orders of magnitude more precise than necessary to make a gyro work every time.

All of that, however, is just a standard gyro out of a standard pistol or whatever, no brain box involved whatsoever.
After talking with Kyla and particularly Sanig, you think the gyrojet has more potential.

"So, have you made any progress with it?" You ask.

Kyla and Sanig share a silent glance between eachother, before leading you over to a magnetized worktable covered in a scattering of tiny parts.

"Honestly, it's a weird system. It's been hard to integrate it into a 1911-shaped pistol with the analog specifications you wanted." Kyla admits.

"However, i managed to get the aim-assist system working." Sanig adds, picking up a small, metallic assembly and placing it in your hands.

You almost have to squint to see what you're looking at, it's so small.
Like a piece of heavy-duty clockwork, there's a spring-loaded hammer connected to a disk with five tiny little metal spikes in it.

Those spikes will punch out the thin metal membrane covering the back of your space-age gyrojets, forming the rocket nozzles used in flight on the fly.
Of course, the nozzles have already been mostly formed on the inside, so really all you're doing with that punch is making the final hole.

But the magic is all in the size of the hole.
>>
>>5984677
Now this may be a pretty wild idea, but maybe some armor. Or just a mask and gloves. More seriously, the amount of time that the rocket is close isn't long enough to actually harm the user. You'll feel the woosh, it might even blow your hair back. You'll feel the heat, too, but it just doesn't last long enough to cook your skin. Or even irritate it. Not much different from waving your hand in front of a hot object. The bigger problem is having a lot of them firing in an enclosed space. Like a spaceship. If the fighting is prolonged it could be deleterious to the health of those involved. But that isn't cool, so it'll probably be handwaved. And besides, all boarders wear space suits. Which naturally have temperature shielding.
>>
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>>5984691
As anon said here, the exhaust from a gyrojet will not burn the user.

You can see that this pistol is full of holes, to allow the gyrojet's exhaust to escape.
Naturally, it'll engulf your arms and cover you in a spray of burnt gunpowder, but it won't burn you.

The gyrojet accelerates quickly enough that you aren't exposed to the flame for long, just like waving your hand through a candle flame.
>>
>>5984690
>But the magic is all in the size of the hole.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
>>
>>5984722
i swear im noticing mlp is resurfacing more and more lately
not even a bad way
>>
>>5984742
>where's my alien pony pussy
did you forget of the blacksmith's daughter?
>>
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>>5984722
>>5984742
Just how many Horsefuckers are lurking/voting in this dang quest?

>>5984738
The ride never ends.

>>5984763
Pic related.
>>
>>5984696
>using gunpowder instead of solid rocket fuel

Bruh this aint the dutch east indies, we dont need to worry about keeping our cordite dry, get with the times.
>>
>>5984961
Jet fuel can't propel brass solids!
>>
>>5984696
But its ugly
>>
>>5984696
Thinking about it, you could reduce a good portion of sideways heat by putting little ridges behind any venting ports. It would increase felt recoil by a little but it would also deflect heat even more sideways and a little more forward than it would diagonally backwards. Basically a muzzle brake in reverse.

It would be wholly unnecessary but it's neat to think about. Maybe it would be important if you had a serious little zippy boy in the pipe but the wimpy ayyys probably couldn't deal with anything like that anyway. Imagine a rocket powered golf-ball-width chunk of metal hitting something. Be like cracking a dude with a sledge hammer probably. Neat.
>>
>>5984690
>Size of hole

MUH CAVITATION
>>
>>5984696
Ignorant as I may be, I have to ask; are we developing these Space Age Gyrojets to be subsonic as well?
I only ask because I think suppressors are gonna be a must for any gun we expect these pussy ass Aliens to use.
>>
>>5985614
well due to the fact that the energy propulsion is going to be provided by rocket motor, its not gonna have enough velocity to break the sound barrier before its too far away to matter.
>>
>>5985614
Gyrojets are not nearly as loud as a regular gun. You don't really even need earpro.

>>5985220
It can look however you want it to, anon.

>>5984748
She's a cervid.
>>
>>5984690

By adjusting the pitch of the striking plate, you can finely adjust the size of the exhaust holes in the gyrojet and cause the bullet to curve mid-flight.
This can be done on a per-round basis, and together with a target tracking system, could allow for a significant degree of automatic aim correction.

Assuming the gun's electronics are all functional, of course. In the case of an EMP or loss of power, the plate will just strike at full power and ensure all the nozzles are fully opened, causing it to fly straight.
So in the worst case scenario, you'll just have to aim manually like usual.

All of that is only possible though, because every single bullet will be exactly the same down to the thickness of a few atoms.
That's some serious match-grade ammo.

"What about the powder?" You ask, crossing your arms.

"Well, we did some tests." Kyla begins to explain. "Obviously, gunpowder works in a vacuum. You already know that much... but it's inconsistent. The grains float around or clump together in zero-g, altering burn time.
Nitrocellulose was better, but for a rocket motor we need something with more energy and a longer burn time. Fortunately, we came up with a mix that performs well, but isn't super explosive."

"By 'we' she means I came up with it. You're welcome, kid."

"Well thank you, Sanig. But what did you come up with, exactly?"

"It was easy, i just pulled from the monkey handbook and nitrated something that was already energetic. Take a look at this."

Sanig opens up two small metallic cans and picks out a pair of tiny little cylinders, setting them both on the workbench next to eachother. A waxy white substance...

"Hey, i've seen this before. Ain't this what the big rigs on Xebric were using as fuel?"

"Bingo, kid. It's a type of hydrocarbon derived from the waxy secretions of a genetically modified vine. It's used rarely as a fuel, more commonly as a wax, and sometimes as an ingredient in cosmetics."

Sanig uses a lighter to set one of the pellets aflame.
It burns gently, producing a hot blue flame that indicates complete combustion, even as it begins to melt and pool onto the table.

As that pool spreads however, it slowly reaches the pellet sitting next to it, and ignites it.
There's an immediate flare of bright yellow flame that you honestly expected to disappear quickly, but it doesn't.

The second pellet of wax burns for a good two or three seconds before finally petering out, leaving not even a trace of residue on the table afterwards.
Meanwhile, the first pellet continues to melt and burn slowly, long afterwards.

"Damn, that burns great." You comment. "How well does it work in a bullet, though? Or in a vacuum?"

"Well, we had trouble getting it to behave similarly to gunpowder at first, but after coming to earth SHODAN had access to a bunch of chemical knowledge that would probably be banned out in space..." Kyla informs you.

"Banned, hells. Nobody would be making that shit in the first place." Sanig adds.
>>
>>5985809
Wait, there are "people" out there who don't enjoy a nice game of nitrogen jenga?
>>
https://youtube.com/shorts/wyTQiKU4d1k mmmm green
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8un5LjtNNo
...
>>
is it time for bolters
>>
>>5985809

"Anyways..." Kyla continues. "The nitrated wax burned really unevenly, and had a bunch of soot and residue left over at the end. It wouldn't have worked very well, so SHODAN added... 'something' to it."

"...What is 'something' exactly?" You ask.

"I dunno. She won't tell us exactly, but she insists the final mix is 'safe and stable' so..."

Kyla shrugs.

"SHODAN? Care to explain?" You call out.

["Yes, Captain. It is not that i cannot explain, but there is no reason to do so. The propellant mix contains over a hundred different chemical compounds in a very specific molecular configuration, it is not worth memorizing."]

"Alright. So is it actually safe of what? I mean, we're breathing the exhaust products right now."

["Yes, Captain. The large list of ingredients is due to stringent safety requirements. The use of heavy metals or poisonous compounds would have allowed for a much simpler mix to be created."]

"No toxic gasses?"

["None, Captain. Or rather, they are created during the burning process, but a complex chemical reaction renders them inert almost immediately, as they are consumed as oxidizer in a secondary reaction."]

"...Is there fluorine in it?"

["..."]

"SHODAN?"

["Perhaps a bit, yes."]

"Uh huh. And what happens when we touch the unburnt wax?"

["Nothing, Captain. The fuel pellets are encased in a thin layer of nitrocellulose and nitrated wax that makes them relatively safe to handle. However, i would not recommend ingesting them."]

"Fine, whatever. You heard her, boys. Wear gloves when handling that shit." You tell Sanig and Kyla.

"...I'm not sure i want to handle them at all anymore." Kyla grumbles.

Well yeah, that's probably why SHODAN didn't say anything.
Sanig on the other hand, he seems excited.

"Yeah, why didn't i think of it?" he mumbles to himself. "Just bind fluorine to the chain, so when it burns it releases it's own gaseous oxidizer. Of course, that'll even it out... but unless the mix is perfect..."

["The mix is indeed perfect, mister Sanig. That is the purpose of a nanofabricator."]

"Yeah, and what about bulk production?!" He yells up at the ceiling, staring down the ship itself. "Maybe YOU don't care, but i don't feel like breathing hydrofluouric acid!"

["The amount of HF produced due to fabricator errors is predicted to be in the hundreds per billion molecules, so long as you use a pure base product. Furthermore..."]

Sanig and SHODAN continue to go back and forth at eachother for a while, but from the sound of it SHODAN actually has taken all reasonable considerations for safety.
You aren't actually worried about it, as long as it's not going to cause any issues during production or handling. Besides, the fuel will spend 99% of it's life inside a brass or steel shell.

It sounds to you like most of the parts are there, they just haven't come to a consensus on how they should be put together.
>>
>>5986550

>You really want to focus on keeping size and weight down. If they break you can just print another one, but they need to be light.
>They need to be sturdy. You want to keep maintenance costs as low as possible on these things, even at the cost of weight and bulk.
>Strike a balance. You think it's fine to have some extra furniture or features, as long as it's not excessive. What's important is fine craftsmanship.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5986550
This gyrojet will be made for aliens right?
So the reason this type that we have now is weaker because it has to conform to wider alien populace, since they are sensitive to toxic compounds.

Can a different kind be created that disregards these "safety" regulations? A kind of gyrojet munition that is used by humans or power armor wearing troops?
Could be not much more toxic than the regular bullets we used so far, or more since it would be used far from civilians(at least the ones we care about).

>>5986551
>You really want to focus on keeping size and weight down. If they break you can just print another one, but they need to be light.
>>
>>5986580

It's designed to be used by just about any species, in just about any environment, including humans.

But yes, it would be possible to create "bolter-style" guns that use conventional explosive charges in tandem with rocket propulsion.
You could intentionally use rocket propellant that produces toxic fumes, or replace the propellant entirely with a fuse and explosives, or whatever else.

You could do that. Now whether it's efficient or not, or even neccesary at all, well...
Sometimes it's not about what's practical, i guess.
>>
>>5986550
>You really want to focus on keeping size and weight down. If they break you can just print another one, but they need to be light.
>>5986636
>"The boltgun is far more than a weapon; it is an instrument of Mankind's divinity, the bringer of death to his foes. Its howling blast is a prayer to the gods of battle."
Humanity demands overkill, a bolter must be built.
>>
>>5986551
>>Strike a balance. You think it's fine to have some extra furniture or features, as long as it's not excessive. What's important is fine craftsmanship.

Also we should tell grampa sanig about rocketdynes tri-propellant just to see his reaction
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>>5986551
>They need to be sturdy. You want to keep maintenance costs as low as possible on these things, even at the cost of weight and bulk.
Idiot proof is a pretty good policy, even if idiots find their way to the delicate bits eventually. Ayys are very specialized, so if they're in charge of running and maintainance its better to have a class of idiots and a class of brains to distribute labor. Might cost more in the long run though

>>5986654
See, you want light and replaceable, but also want to build boltguns. Those things are some of the most absurd and gotta be sturdy weapons in fiction. Its a gun for superhumans or massive gorillamen that also must double as a club, while also continuing to operate for centuries of constant abuse on hellscape Warpfucked worlds and planes. Does not translate to throwing away and getting handed another, and nevermind how the godawful the logistics of keeping such a weapon supplied. Doesnt translate well. That said, maybe WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY and feeding a nanofab the corpses of our enemies for more raw materials will beat out Imperium slave labor.

Reckon they're not a terrible idea for hard core elite troops. Start juicing up handpicked humies or bigger species of predatory ayy for them and we could be cooking
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>>5986666
>rocketdynes tri-propellant
>first video link i open shows orange smoke
oh, that fuel is fucking spicy. btw, we should also tell sanig about the mercury based we also tested as well
>>
>>5986551
>You want them to be very reliable by both design for the moving parts and overall sturdiness. A spacefuture AK-47, if you will. With features that are color coded in the most color-blind friendly way possible and marked with slightly raised symbols for ease of training and rememberance as to what each feature does. Ugly in a playskool and nerf gun parts slapped on an AR kind of way might end up becoming something of a funny signature aestetic for stuff you're going to be building, heh.

Remember, most aliens are not very mentally flexible and forgetting how these thing work in combat could be a danger for green recruits. Remember too that aliens are often colorblind.
>>
>>5986680
NTA but I watched and posted a vid about it last thread just because of how wack it was. The exhaust fumes have SEVEN different dangerous effects that would go in a hazard diamond's white square. It is POWERED by a METAL FIRE, reacting with one of the only things that can react with noble gasses, shot through with hydrogen for extra oomph.
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>>5986551
>>They need to be sturdy. You want to keep maintenance costs as low as possible on these things, even at the cost of weight and bulk.
>>
>>5986551
>They need to be sturdy. You want to keep maintenance costs as low as possible on these things, even at the cost of weight and bulk.
but just because its sturdy, it doesn't mean it lacks creature comforts, like and adjustable cheek pad, or stock
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>>5986551
>They need to be sturdy. You want to keep maintenance costs as low as possible on these things, even at the cost of weight and bulk.
Hi-Points in SPACE
>>
>>5986551
>>They need to be sturdy. You want to keep maintenance costs as low as possible on these things, even at the cost of weight and bulk.
>>
>>5986772
imagine using that as a grenade or as a missile payload.
yes, it might be a bit less efficient than the future tech methods the ayys have, yes it might be stupidly dangerous to have that much fluorine in a single place, but the chaos that it would make inside a spaceship would be glorious
>>
>>5986551
>They need to be sturdy. You want to keep maintenance costs as low as possible on these things, even at the cost of weight and bulk.
RELIABILITY WINS WARS. Sure, you can print another - but will you have the time to? Will you have access to what you need to print one?
You don't want your shit breaking on you mid-fight. Ever. If a species is too weak to lift our handguns, then they should honestly be operating in lower gravity or using assistive devices ANYWAYS.
Go for the gold standard, lads. Go for sturdy.
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>>5986551
>They need to be sturdy.
>Strike a balance.
I like the sound of a space AK. We can always make a lighter variant for races that need one later, but our mass produced standard should be able to take and dish out abuse
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>>5986550
>They need to be sturdy. You want to keep maintenance costs as low as possible on these things, even at the cost of weight and bulk.
>>
>>5986551
Why not just make it modular?
For a gyrojet, the barrel is just there to guide the rocket anyways, and bears little force. The actual physical mechanisms is super simple.
The only variables are the grip and the housing (for the mechanisms and electronics). Fiberglass reinforced polymer will do for most cases, and then you can step it up in terms of materials for more extreme environments.
I don't see the run-of-the-mill aliens these gyrojets are intended for doing hardcore EVA boarding action anyway; they'll be acting more as a PDW for back-line personnel (who will likely forget what a weapon even is in blind panic should something anyway).
Just make the barrel assembly and physical mechanism sturdy, then have some templates for the housing/grip running anywhere from silicone dildo to SPESS MEHREEN super-material.
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>>5987037
imo that adds complexity, unless we use a system like picatinny or mlok which returns us to the original question of how we want the gun to be like
>>
So it seems for some anons it didnt get through that the gyrojet gun we build right now could be FOR AYY'S.
They wont be able to use our gigachad rugged boltgun since its heavy thats why those few anons voted for cheap and light parts for this gun.

Now after this we could build our non "child safe" glorious instrument of war, for us for Sanig and our human or other power armor users.
The same reason I asked for stronger slightly toxic propellant, and now Rugged and sturdy design, because humans and P.A. users dont have to worry about slightly toxic fumes and heavier design in the gun.
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>>5987084
They're in low grav anyways, and the extra mass on the gun will mitigate recoil that would otherwise rip their joints out of their sockets.
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>>5987097
My man gyrojets have little to no felt recoil.
Thats why its good for the puny low grav ayy's.
What we are building now is a gyrojet for aliens.

Boltguns have recoil because they are not pure gyrojets, they have a kicker charge that pushes the round out of the gun then the propellant ignites and the projectile accelerates even further while it also starts spinning.
As far as I remember bolters are smooth bore.
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>>5987111
Oh right.
In that case, I'll disagree with you for a different reason and maintain that we should build them rugged and built to last. I'll get back to you on what that other reason is. I just don't want to abandon my stance.
>>
>>5986551
>They need to be sturdy. You want to keep maintenance costs as low as possible on these things, even at the cost of weight and bulk.
>>
>>5986857
The bulk dampens the recoil but the piece of shit jams every other shot. Buy a glock
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>>5987037
>modular
Get the fukkout my thread, army general!!! Your and your buzz words like LETHALITY piss me off!

Also
>>sturdy
>>
>>5987249
He just wants his firearm to be fully-semi-automatic.
>>
>>5986550

For you, the decision is as obvious as can be.

These things, whatever they look like, whatever their purpose and function, they need to be goddamned sturdy.
If these rifles can't double as a club, they're worthless.

You bite your lip, staring off into space as several different rifle designs flash through your head.

The gyrojet rounds combined with some clever engineering could make up for a lot of a bullpup design's issues, maybe keeping bulk and weight down even with an overbuilt frame.
But if you do that, a folding stock is really just out the window, and you need somewhere to put batteries and electronics, so it doesn't seem like an option for a space-age design.

It'll have to be a traditional rifle. You don't need much of a barrel at all, so the overall length will still be quite short thanks to aim-assist.
It may also be quite inaccurate at longer ranges in the case of an EMP event, but that typically only occurs on ships, and so at very close range.

Given the lack of recoil, a folding stock would allow it to be used like an SMG or as a proper rifle in a given situation.

You want it to be somewhat modular, capable of accepting both analog and electronic addons, meaning you'll need a wiring harness and picatinny rails.
The whole frame will be made from chrome vanadium steel, maximizing it's strength and wear resistance. Using steel instead of carbon fiber, it shouldn't weaken over time due to repeated stress.

It was the same for your carrier. You could have made it much lighter using carbon fiber, but you insisted on using simple steel for it's frame. It reduced cost, and it'll keep the ship from snapping in half.

For some components though, chrome-vanadium isn't enough. They need to be made of something harder, like AR-500.
For those parts, you'll use an optimized damascus pattern. Something only a nanofab could make, to keep it both hard and somewhat flexible preventing chipping and shattering.

Simply using hardened steel would be sufficient, but you want these things to last forever.
You'll use everything. Pre-straining, rib structures, damascus layering, anything that can make these things just a little bit tougher.

Because they have to function even in vacuum, you'll use molybdenum disulfide powder as a dry lubricant for all the moving parts.
It's onboard CPU will be silicon-on-sapphire to improve radiation resistance, the battery will be a spacertech dry-pile that can't easily be damaged by shock.

Naturally, you'll build as much EM-resistance into as possible, but you're not sure how much it matters when facing a wraith.
Nonetheless, it shouldn't be damaged by an EMP, even if it stops functioning temporarily. Backups upon backups, ECC memory, inductive sinks, whatever you can think of.

And despite all of that, you want to ensure that it can still be easily serviced.

The weapon has to come apart with simple tools and the parts replaced with existing or salvaged stock, without weakening it overall.
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>>5987403
>we're making the fucking A-10 of guns
Hell yeah
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>>5987403
My dick can only get so hard....kep going
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>>5987472
>>
if we in the future make a fighter jet we should make a legally distinct adfx-01/02 ace combat zero for us to use and the us airforce to fight against the chinks and ziggers once they attack and yes the ecm will protect the front air intakes
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>>5987730
>not going full project wingman and having a touhou boss as a 3d warfare jet fighter
How much of the sky do you want filled with ordinance? Yes.
>>
>>5987403

While SHODAN and Sanig are arguing back and forth, you feel drawn to the nanofab. It calls to you, and you find yourself placing the brain interface helmet on your head.
Kyla watches you curiously as you sit down and cross your legs, closing your eyes and focusing entirely on designing the weapon you want.

Naturally, you find the pieces that Kyla, Sanig and SHODAN have already created sitting in the fab's memory. You'll have to use these parts, but everything else is up to you.

"What's this...?" Kyla wonders.

She's watching your work through a monitor connected to the fab. It's kind of strange, seeing what you're visualizing as a 3D object on a screen, changing in real time.
You'd think watching that screen would make things easier, but it only interferes with the feedback from the fab, so you close your eyes again and continue to focus.

As expected, SHODAN has already done the work of integrating every known material earth has to offer into the fab.

"Chrome vanadium for the body of the rifle..." You mumble. "AR-500 Damascus for the barrel..."

"Woah. How are you twisting it like that? It's like a fractal braid!" Kyla exclaims.

Once you create the materials you need in the patterns you want, you save them to be used again later, and then begin shaping everything.
The barrel has to be smooth-bore. If the gyro actually rotated, you wouldn't be able to use the jets to perform aim correction, they'd just wobble mid-flight.

You're relying on the absolute precision of the nanofab to create a perfectly straight barrel that will neither bend, nor warp, nor wear, allowing for precise calculation of the rocket's trajectory.
To that end, the inside of the bore is coated in microscopic diamond spherules that won't easily wear down over time, preventing the barrel from degrading while also allowing the rocket to glide freely.

Even though the barrel is both tough and hard as hell, you still want to protect it from potential damage in the case that it is quite literally used as a bludgeon, and so it's encased in a protective outer sheath.
The sheath is disconnected and floats around the barrel, meaning that it'll be what takes any blunt force first, allowing it to be bent, broken, burned or punctured and the actual gun still remain functional.

It also serves as a bit of a silencer, given that it creates a half-inch gap between the barrel and the outside.
As a result, it should be quiet enough to fire without ear protection and the flame jets will be redirected out to the sides, away from the wielder.

You use a stainless steel and chrome-vanadium sandwich for the sheath, as stainless is a terrible conductor of heat, which will allow it to act as a heat shroud while remaining fairly tough.
Over that, you use use carbon fiber made from nanotubes for the body. This could be anything, really. Steel, wood, plastic... but carbon fiber is extremely light and tough. As long as it doesn't strain repeatedly.
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We should have the whole crew do the apple test and have the results displayed in the fab's monitor.
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>>5988245
Kek
>>
>>5988245
>Sam can barely inch towards 3
yeah
>>
>>5988337
I forget what the average hooman can do. I think it's either 2 or 3. Which also makes me wonder, for humans there's a sizable portion of people who do not have an internal monologue voice, do ayyys have the ability to hear in their heads?
>>
>>5988245
I concur.
personally its number 1 for me, and i can slice it and dice it, and turn it around.
>>
>>5988381
I'm an engineer with a 5, but I still have an inner monologue.

Still dream with images in them though. Just no minds eye. Can do 3d rotations and 'conceptual' imagery stuff in my head without being able to actually 'mentally see' it though. Hard to explain. Like a computer calculating things without a screen? Decent enough painter and good at blender modeling without that minds eye though.

Imo, if I could see the thing I'm designing in my head on a screen, It'd probably help with correcting details.

Wish I could minds eye things though. Sounds a lot more 'fun'.
>>
>>5988476
Number 1 as well, but the image in my head of it is also shot like it's an ad for a new Burger at McDonalds.
That's not normal, is it?
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>>5988488
>Wish I could minds eye things though. Sounds a lot more 'fun'.
It's great if you're an illustrator or something. Otherwise it's a great way to constantly relive disturbing imagery unprompted.
>>
>>5988497
This, it can be nice, but it can also be a curse.
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>>5988494
I mean, i can put it in many different ads, so maybe? Then again i can put it on the top of the empire state building with a panorama.
>>
>>5988245
I have ascended past a 1. I can imagine the apple as a 4 dimensional object as it moves through space. I can see the smallest details in the apple's skin. I can taste it. I can smell it. I can feel it as my imaginary presence bites into it.
>>
>>5988575
My favorite thing to ask people to do is imagine a color that doesn't exist. There's only three answers for it, "I can't", "uhhh, it's like a [normal color] but not really, it's a little different" and "AAAHHHHH IT'S IN MY HEAD IT'S IN MY HEAD IT'S IN MY HEAD IT'S IN MY HEAD". Never fails to entertain.
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>>5988497
I do have really good "trauma resistance"/ patience. Maybe being a 5 helps with focusing
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>>5988623
I'm pretty sure a 5 just means you aren't a visually oriented type of guy. Good for you, your brain doesn't pull up the fucking 4K Tarman photo when you're trying to take a leak like mine does sometimes.
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>>5988692
I'm more disturbed by the shit I've seen off of liveleak than tarman. Tarman is just goofy enough to be silly. But a guy squeezed out like a tube of toothpaste from a motorcycle accident? Yeesh.
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>>5988696
>I'm more disturbed by the shit I've seen off of liveleak than tarman.
I feel like I've seen shit just as bad on /gif/. Never did I think I would see the inside of a man's head and go "is that ramen?", but here we are.
>Tarman is just goofy enough to be silly.
This is objectively correct. However, if you were a child when you first saw Tarman (like I was), you might not have such a rational reaction to it.
>>
>>5988706
Dude /gif/ is fucking wild for taking all the shit from the various gore sites. Get kaotic, cartel vids, terrorist orgs stuff. Guys are nuts.


>saw return of the living dead as a kid
Oof. Yeah that'll get you. When you're young you remember the tarman. When you're older you remember the chick from the graveyard kek.
>>
>>5988245

I'm well beyond a 5 myself.
I can create full photorealistic (or any stylized interpretation) 3D scenes, do flythroughs of places i've been to, make exploded views of objects, feel, taste, touch, ect.

I can also lucid dream and do things like read text (and have it make sense after waking up) which aren't supposed to be normal.

>>5988706
>>5988696

I never was bothered much by spooky/gory stuff, especially in movies, but for some reason i always hated this goofy-ass scene.
https://youtu.be/bFwN1ub_K2I?t=153
>>
>>5988835
It's considerably poorly shot and acted, but having worked in industrial setting most of my adult life I can definitely see why a freak accident like that might stick with somebody.
>>
>>5988835
I remember people talking about that scene, lots of "oh mys" and such.

>>5988874
One time I saw a steel wire snap when a guy was making a cardboard bundle. Slapped him in the face and nearly took his eye out. Guy was lucky it put a hole in his cheek instead. Healed up no problem but man, if his head was turned the other way it might've caught his neck, if he bent down a little further it would have got his eye.

Never fuck around with anything under tension/pressure. Gotta respect it.
>>
>>5988835
Same. Being able to run word processors, physics sims, and raytracing in my head is the cornerstone of my thinking process as a tinkerer and artist. Can't imagine anyone living without it, how tf do they even survive
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>>5987999

The body of the rifle is attached to the barrel sheath at the business end, turning the free-floating tube into a stiff structural component that toughens up the whole rifle.
However, you also reinforce the carbon-fiber furniture with hardened steel ribs, stiffening up the whole body even further. It increases the weight a bit, but it'll feel much more solid overall.

The final result, once you've accounted for the wiring and extra bulk of reinforcing components, ends up looking strikingly similar to a SCAR-H with it's barrel chopped off.
There are vent ports running down the length of the rifle that give it a somewhat distinct look, but otherwise it's outwardly pretty normal.

...

"What's he doing, exactly?" Sanig grumbles from behind you.

"I'm not sure. He's been sitting there for half an hour, but i can barely see any changes on the screen." Kyla tells him.

["The Captain is performing internal optimizations."] SHODAN explains. ["The screen you're watching only displays a view of the model being worked on, not what the captain is actually seeing in his mind."]

"Wait, so he's changing stuff on the inside of the rifle? Without taking the model apart first? How?" Kyla wonders.

["Captain Rockefeller appears to be uniquely gifted in the field of neural computation. That is all i can say."]

Sanig huffs.

"I don't see what's so impressive about that. I can do it, too." He declares proudly.

"If it's nothing to be impressed over, then why are you bragging about it?" Kyla grins.

"You keep quiet, toadstool." He grumbles.

["I must admit, some of the changes he's made have seemed strange or even outright illogical. However, after performing stress simulations they seem to be effective. I have only needed to make minor adjustments so far."]

"...Is he just designing based on instinct or what?" Kyla wonders.

"Probably. The kid never thinks too deeply on things, from what i can tell. A lot of what he does, he claims at least, is "done by feel". I wasn't sure what that really meant until i watched him designing the carrier like this."

"Are all humans like this, i wonder?"

"...Nah, definitely not. I've been looking through a lot of human data since we landed on this shithole, and... well, i think they're all retarded." Sanig declares with a hint of sadness, or perhaps pity.

"I heard that, fucker." You grunt. "...And you're not wrong. But we prefer to be called 'special', thanks."

"You're awake? I thought you were in a meditative state or something." Kyla wonders.

"He should be, working the fab like that. The fact that he's not is pretty damned 'special'." Sanig replies.

["Please note, although the Captain's visual cortex is heavily occupied, all other brain function remains at or near a normal state. Only the signals from his eyes are being overridden."] SHODAN explains.

Kyla waves her hand in front of your face, which you're only vaguely aware of since you're focused on designing this fucking gun.
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>>5988696
Am I fucked in the head that I find those gore videos entertaining rather than disturbing, my reaction to those things are "ho ho hooo brutal!" along with "so that's what a spleen looks like, and the ventral and dorsal mesentery is stretchier than I imagined.." when the wannabe/soon-to-be medfag in me kicks in.

Not trying to show off being edgy, I am genuinely concerned that I am not concerned. Maybe its like french peasants crowding the city square to get a kick out of watching the guillotine, so it could be normal. At least that's what I tell myself to cope, but at least that could come in useful when I start my surgical rounds.
>>
>>5989226
Meh, it depends on your frame of mind, do you still want to be a medicfag that helps people?
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>>5989233
Yep, I'd never hurt somebody without good reason, still got a strong moral backbone and I'm way too empathetic to suffering to cause it needlessly on purpose. It's just I can tune out the empathy when I need to work efficiently, or when its with gore videos, it already happened so no need to feel upset, might as well learn anatomy from it.

Seeing and touching blood and guts does not elicit fear and revulsion. It's just simply there, components of just another machine for me to fix up the best as I can like I do with cars and computers.
>>
>>5989245
Then you are biologically fine tuned operating machine. You think to much.
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>>5989248
Thanks. It's just the normies I'm with think I'm a weirdo or a psycho for not freaking out. Yeah death and gross shit happens, it's just a fact of life. Likely I'm just becoming oversocialized, need to work on that.
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>>5989251
Call em pussies and move on with your day, your job attracts to many like that do to political preference and the personalities inclined for it. You're fine.
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>>5989226
your feelings are okay. Surgical specialties are awesome, you treat patients but in the OR they are your toys.
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>>5989226
I mean there is something morbidly amusing about a guy blowing his own hand off with a shotgun for being an idiot, or a dude needing new toes because he thought he could stomp out a firework. Just like seeing a guy who was degloved flex his hand and watch the tendons once hidden by skin move.

I just don't like when it's just some dude who gets fucking obliterated by some bullshit. Like industrial accidents, bad luck, etc.. Watching surgery vids are pretty cool, too. You might be a bit abnormal but I wouldn't say you're fucked up. Morbid curiosity is a very common occurrence, yours is just a bit stronger than typical.
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>>5989212
try to bite her hand
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>>5989486
Cylia did this and ended up getting swatted out of the air by a burly hillbilly. I MEAN NOTHING BY IT, IT'S JUST FUNNY
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Idea. Lightsabers.
Better idea. Lightsaber bayonet emitters.
>>
>>5989505
Chainswords. Power Swords. THUNDER HAMMER!
>>
>>5989226
Maybe a little bit? I think the thing you have to watch out for is the desensitization to human suffering, but like, if it's purely medical than it's fine.

I took a class in uni where we were taking tests off of cadavers and their parts, and one of the TAs started plucking this guy's leg nerve like a guitar and it was the funniest thing in the world, but it was also really cool that nerves are actually that big, you never think nerves are big but this was as thick as a dime and all rubbery. Cool as shit but we were playing with a dead guy.
>>
>>5989826
>Maybe a little bit? I think the thing you have to watch out for is the desensitization to human suffering, but like, if it's purely medical than it's fine.

Plenty of people find treatment of the dead as important as well dude. Got a ton of people losing their shit over IDF operatives collecting sperm from dead israeli soldiers by shocking their prostate from their anus.
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>>5989843
>Got a ton of people losing their shit over IDF operatives collecting sperm from dead israeli soldiers by shocking their prostate from their anus.
what
>>
If someone were capable of imagining an object in 4-D, what would happen if they tried to put it through the nanofab?
>>
>>5989903
my guess is that we'd get a 3D representation of the 4D object, just like how we get a 2D representation of a cube in a piece of paper
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>>5989904
We have a 3d representation of a 4d shape already. It's some weird bendy thing that goes into itself AFAIK. I forget the specifics of how it was described. Scientists always be making shit up.
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>>5989868
https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/01/middleeast/israeli-families-sperm-retrieval-intl-cmd/index.html

Unironically have a program where they have 'retrieval experts' get the sperm of dead soldiers on the field while their body parts are still viable for up to a day postmortem. (PSR - posthumous sperm retrieval)

Can be done via retrieving the testes or a sample. whole thing is all messed up.
>>
>>5989908
Do they think they're fucking Space Marines collecting Gene Seeds or some shit?
>>
>>5989906
Klein bottle, and some 4-D cube that is animated to be always rolling into/out of itself.
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>>5989908
Jewish cum commandos
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>>5989908
Its something the individual soldier signs up to voluntarily as part of their normal service medical onboarding. Its just a step further than having sperm collected and frozen for storage for IVF usage that other militaries and organisations offer to soldiers and long deployment employees.
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>>5989908
They really do carry the cum box...

Captcha: DX 4TK
>>
>>5990036
Nah, it seems to be a thing that is family requested on demand.
It genuinely would make more sense to collect and store ahead of time vs. this last ditch effort.

At least per the initial news stories that started this thing.
>>
>>5989212

"Oh wow, you're right... his eyes aren't following my hand! That's so weird..." Kyla exclaims.

"GUYS! Can you PLEASE stop fucking with me while i'm trying to do this!" You yell, turning to glare at them.

Sanig seems surprised, while Kyla just laughs nervously.

"Right, sorry hon."

"Come on, toadstool. Let's leave the kid to it. Looks like he's doing some good work there."

"Right..."

As Kyla's turning to leave, she stops and looks at the screen one last time.

"...Hey, isn't the scale on this a little odd?" She points out. "What caliber in this chambered in? It looks a little big, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, that's cause it is." You grumble. "I'm calling it the 14mm Super-Gyro. It's not really made to penetrate armor, but it probably still could."

"Why's that?" She questions.

"Cause... besides putting a diamond tip on them, they're also big enough to fill full of high explosives, or even a little miniature shaped charge." You explain.

Plus, in the case of a gyrojet a larger bullet actually means higher velocity, since it'll also be a larger rocket.
14mm Super-Gyro will is definitely an oversized round, you feel, but it'll have a ton of utility. You could even use it to spray tear gas by loading them up like little miniature CS canisters.

Then it would be as simple as spraying the mag into a nearby room, and at that point you can't exactly pick up a dozen or so of them and kick or throw them back out.
And naturally, if you can fill them with high explosives, you can fill them with a flashbang mix as well. Course, it won't have the same effect as a grenade, but it'll be pretty disorienting.

The biggest effect though, will definitely be in the most common use case. Soft, unarmored targets.

If each Super-Gyro has an explosive charge in it's head that's set to go off when the rocket finishes it's burn, or upon contact with an object, then imagine what happens when it hits a person.
It would likely penetrate some distance into their body before exploding inside of them, creating a large cavity and sending shrapnel in every direction.

It would shred you from the inside.

Hell, even if it just hit the wall next to you, there's still a good chance you'd be hit by shrapnel.
And of course, if you wanted to up their penetration power, you could put a little miniature shaped charge and a fuse in there.

Again, it's not going to be close to an RPG or anything, but against something like a bipedal or tread-platform robot, it could do serious damage.

It's not a crazy round that can take out anything and everything, but it's capable of specializations that would boost it's performance and make a real difference.
The only downside, naturally, is that a larger round means lower ammo capacity and more weight.

You expect drum magazines to be popular with these Super-Gyro rifles as a result.

You'll also have to create a color-coding system for the magazines, so you can tell the different types of ammo apart at a glance.
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>>5990268
>not 10mm
COCHRANE YOU HAD ONE JOB
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>>5990274
God denied you and so shall i
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>>5990276
>>
>>5990268
now im worried about overpenetration, unless the rocket's thrust can be adjusted at will
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>>5990276
>>
>>5990268
>14mm
guess we're using 10-13 round mags, or a super duper wide doublestack. the price you pay for aimbot I guess.
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>>5990268
At this point we're just re-inventing the Bolter.
Only difference is it's a rocket from the start and doesn't have an initial propulsive charge.

I wouldn't be surprised if we have a version of this gun with an initial charge.
>>
>>5990284
He specifically mentioned drum magazine for a reason Anon.
>>
>>5990268
THE BOLTER, SHE LIIIIIIVES
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>>5990299

Bolters are for humans or aliens with power armor.
Don't forget, this is a 14mm round, so bolter rounds will have some kick.
>>
>>5990279

As i said before, it'll be adjusted by the distance at which you fire it.
If you're on a ship, they won't have enough run-up to punch through walls, unless it's specifically an armor-piercing round.

If you're firing at a distance though, they'll pack much more punch.
>>
>>5990333
Depends on order of charge, though the barrel is the best place to get propulsion.

With a chip in each round, PWM steering can get it some nice propulsion in a short period... though that brings back the 'backwash' issue of the propulsion going toward a person instead of contained in a barrel.
>>
>>5990348
that's pretty much a moot point. the personal RCS systems could handle a proper gun's recoil, so a gyrojet should be easier to compensate for
>>
>>5990348

In the case of a regular Super-Gyro round, the striking plate is tilted to slightly alter the size of the exhaust holes in the back of the round.
However, a bolter round won't have access to the back of the rocket like that, so it'll perform the same as a regular gyrojet, using it's nozzles to spin and stabilize the rounds, along with the barrel's rifling.

Bolter rounds will literally just be modified gyrojets stuffed into a larger casing, like a rifle round. The flame from the cartridge will ignite the gyro, causing it to accelerate further and spin harder.

To be clear, when a normal (non-bolter) Super-Gyro rifle is in "failover mode" (meaning the electronic aim assist system is offline) the striking plate will simply punch the rockets at full force.
This causes the puncsthes to bottom out, and will bore out the nozzle in such a way that it also induces spin. So you'll be forced to shoot purely with your own skill, but at least you'll have spin-stabilization.
>>
>>5990372
I like how punching at full force sounds like.
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>>5990268

You pass most of the entire afternoon thinking over this one rifle and making minor changes to it here and there, trying your best to solve potential issues before they ever have a chance to crop up.
It's easy work, almost relaxing in a way despite the crew occasionally coming in to pester you, but after many hours of focusing on it your brain just gives out on you.

Practically all at once, it's like you just ran out of thinking thoughts to think your thoughts with. You think.

You open your eyes and look down at your holowatch. It's well past sundown already.
As your sense of your surroundings begin to come back to you, you realize how hungry you are.

But before even that, you really gotta piss.

Unfortunately, when you run to the bathroom it appears to be occupied.
Not that uncommon with so many people crammed onboard, but it's a problem when you seriously gotta go.

You slam on the door hoping it's just Cylia or Kyla taking a shower, but Redbone is the one who replies.

"Occupado!" You hear through the door.

"Red! Hurry the hell up, man! I gotta piss!" You yell.

"Sorry man, i'm blowing it up in here. Give me a minute!"

You hear the sound of something wet splattering, the sound of the toilet bowl ringing.
Yeah, nevermind. You wouldn't go in there if someone paid you.

Rushing outside through the airlock, you find that the ship has relocated to... a dollar tree parking lot.
There are only a few cars left in the lot though, so you don't think anyone's gonna see you.

You rush down the steps and try to hide yourself from any cameras behind the ship, and end up draining the lizard on the side of one of your landing legs.

"...David, what are you doing?" Cylia asks, scaring the literal piss out of you.

"BAH! Fuckin'... god. I'm trying to take a piss, what does it look like?!"

"I dunno, that's why i was asking."

You quickly finish pissing and stuff your dick back into your pants.
...Always the last dribble. Goddamnit.

"What are you even doing out here?" You question.

It's unusual to see your crew outside, since they seem afraid that something's going to maul them if they go outside.
But here Cylia is, wearing her armor but no helmet. Just an oxygen mask.

You smell it at just about the same time Cylia gestures behind her towards the back corner of the parking lot, which is mostly hidden by the ship.
Pickle and Princess are out there, sitting around a charcoal grill and cooking something...

"Is that my hamburger meat?" You question, recognizing the smell of your own spice mix.

"Yeah? You just left the meat in the kitchen, so... i was helping your friend cook them up."

Pickle raises his Pabst into the air and grins at you even as he's patting Princess's head, who's laying down on the pavement next to him.
Damn it, you were in too much of a hurry and didn't check your corners. Rookie mistake.

Red runs down and around to where you are just a moment later, holding a serving platter and a big pack of cheesy jalapeno sausages.
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>>5990819
>Jalapeno sausage

Ah shit, we gotta warn them about the food dangers for our non human crew
>>
>>5990819
I can't wait to bring PBR to the stars, somewhere redneck Jesus is crying a tear of joy.
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>>5990839
pretty sure they already learned that lesson when we made the baked potaoes and gildur got turbofucked with the peppers
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>>5990819
Most of the meat we don't have yet is wild game. Cylia would probably appreciate hunting, if only to get out and stay sane.
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>>5991159
Taking Cylia bow hunting in the backwoods actually sounds like a great idea for a date.
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>>5991172
I almost want to do a group hunting trip as an excuse to test out our gyrojets. Blasting deathworld critters with experimental weapons sounds like something Sanig would love.
>>
https://youtube.com/shorts/xKlqsv4nCao
>>5991172
last time we took her for a "hunting" date shit HIT the fan soooo uch
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>>5991287
>last time we took her for a "hunting" date shit HIT the fan soooo uch
Well we know for a fact there aren't any fucking Demons out here. Just hogs, mountain lions, coyotes, and snakes...but no Demons.
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>>5991291
Twenty bucks says a hogzilla could take down a balrog.
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>>5991291
sounds to me like the perfect time to gift her a bolter specifically made for her, so she can hunt without the fear of getting gored to death by a hog
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>>5990819

"Dude, you came out pretty quick there. Tell me you washed you hands." You accuse.

"I did!" Redbone lies.

["He did not, Captain."] SHODAN tattles through your watch.

Redbone immediately becomes upset.

"How the fuck did- oh hell no, i know you ain't watching me in the bathroom, bitch!" He yells.

["I am not. In fact, there are no cameras in the bathroom. However, you have just outed yourself, Mister Masterson."]

"...God... fucking damn it. Fine, whatever! I don't need to wash my hands anyways, i got a clean dick!" Red insists.

["I am doubtful of that."]

"Nobody asked you!"

"Maybe i should cook those instead." You grumble. "Sterilize them over the fire."

"Suits me, i won't be eating them anyways." Cylia shrugs. "Those things are full of hot peppers, aren't they? I can smell them from here."

"I'll make you some plain beef and cheese sausages too, then. Hell, we might as well party a little since we got the boys back together. Most of em, anyhow."

"Don't make me drool, David... i have to take the mask off to wipe it." Cylia complains.

...

You spend the whole night together with your boys and Cylia, grilling burgers, drinking beer and catching up a little.

You find out that before Pickle had gotten into all that trouble, he had been in the middle of trying to form his own little cult, just for fun apparently.
Redbone on the other hand has been pretty much in seclusion for the past few years, and was probably on a bunch of watchlists for his opinions on the government.

Pickle tells you all about his cult's "free love doctrine" and how he was teaching them to grift off people on the internet, while Red tells you about the spider holes he was digging under his house.
You listen to their stories intently, then follow up with a few of your own. Some of the crazier shit, like the time you spent on that fuckin' wraith planet.

You can tell that Red half doesn't believe you, but Pickle practically looks sick from hearing about it, like you just told him the boogeyman's gonna get him.

"...and so i sent it straight down his gullet a blew a fuckin' hole straight through him. But wouldn't you believe it, the sumbitch was still trying to regenerate! So i ended up digging out it's core, and..."

"Gunny! For god's sake, man, tell me you're joking!" Pickle begs.

"No? I still got the core locked up in the ship!"

Pickle cradles his head and starts whining to himself.

"Oh my god... you're fuckin' nuts... WHY?! WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE IT?!"

"...Well what if it's useful?"

"Useful for what?! Opening a portal to hell?!"

You think about it seriously for a moment before staring him in the eye and nodding wordlessly.

"Dude, throw that shit away!"

"Hell no! Look, Pickle, what are you gonna do when a demon comes along that's too big or too tough to kill with a grenade launcher?"

"Fuckin' nuke it!"

"Yeah, that might work. But i'd rather not have to do that. And that's why we conduct research, ain't that right, Cyl?"
>>
>>5991461
>Red exploded into the toilet bowl
>doesnt wash
and that's how the new butt-cough spread

>Red doesn't believe in demons
>is the guy who can now use telepathy through getting his mind blown out with drugs and wraiths
Now it confirms he is a little retarded, just like big bro David.
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>>5991489
he is a marine, he doesn't wipe his butt.
I hope David does... maybe SHODAN has a VI controlled bidet in the toilet that launches streams at David's crack
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>>5991575
There is indeed a bidet in the ship, we're not savages here.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9XTEGrze920
>>
>>5991461

She shakes her head.

"You and Sanig are the ones who poke around at those things, leave me out of it..." She grumbles, then peeling her mask off for a moment to take a bite of sausage.

"Ah... yeah, the girls just don't like 'em. They've both been attacked in the past, so..."

"On the ship?" Pickle asks.

"No. Well, i mean... one snuck onto the ship once or twice, but uh... none have ever escaped containment after i've captured them."

"Sho far." Cylia adds through a mouthful of food.

"Yeah, so far. See, only warp metal and dark matter can contain a wraith, and as for why, it's a whole thing. But i'm pretty sure wraiths are mostly, if not entirely made of dark matter, so if you mix their blood into paint..."

"Gunny, man, what the fuck are you doing? Is this what you get up to when we leave you alone? Goddamn dude, you're worse than i am." Pickle chastises.

"Nah man, ain't no way i'm worse than you. Remember when you got that college kid to sneak onto that farm?"

"Gunny, you're mixing demon blood into paint and using it for fucking rituals and shit. Do you not see what you're doing?"

You roll your eyes.

"It's not a ritual, Pickle. I literally just painted a jar with it to keep it from escaping. They phase through normal matter, but they can't phase through their own flesh and blood."

"He painted his armor with it, too." Cylia adds, with a slightly accusatory tone.

"Hey, do YOU want to go and fight them next time?!"

"No, David. I don't want to be anywhere near them to begin with." She insists. "I don't like having them on the ship either."

"Cyl, it's not like i'm going looking for them. They just keep showing up, okay? And when they do, then what? Somebody's gotta handle it."

"...Yeah, i know. But even then, i've never heard of someone encountering so many wraiths before." She sighs.

"That's because most of them die or become retarded after the first time." You say, pointing at her with a sausage.

"Yeah, i guess... but still, encounters are rare to begin with, but how many times has it happened to us now?"

You shrug and take a bite.

"I'unno, i don't keep count."

"...Is he like a magnet for those things or something?" Pickle questions.

"Seems like it to me..." Cylia sighs. "Ever since he got scratched by one, he's been able to see and touch them even when they're invisible."

"Dude, that's fucking creepy." Pickle says, staring straight at you.

"Check out the scars." You say, lifting up your shirt.

"...You're still wearing the bodysuit, dude." He reminds you.

"Oh, right. Well, trust me. There's a big scar across my side where i got clawed. I don't think they're literally venomous like an animal, but the dark matter they're made of acts like a nasty poison. Wounds don't heal well."

"Is that what happened to your eye?" He asks.

"Yeah, the wound gets really painful and starts to fester after a while. Fortunately there was this moth that helped me out. She's a natural-born psychic, i reckon."

"And you aren't?"
>>
>>5992305
David sounds peak schizo when he retells his stories to others... full of internal logic, as if it really happened and you can't convince him otherwise. Of course it DID happen
>>
dont forget to tell them the time where we gave money to a ghost to help him catch a ride with charon when we were gone out for information
the afterlife is very much real in space
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>>5992305
>Cyl, it's not like i'm going looking for them. They just keep showing up, okay? And when they do, then what? Somebody's gotta handle it

You know, if we get tired of the bounty route and overthrowing the intergalactic state, if we find a way to eradicate them from wherever they come from, if we wanna to do business above board, I reckon we could get an exterminator business going clearing up decent planets for habitation, resource exploitation or even archeological or ecological study. Could be lucrative.

Interstellar Orkin Man. Gunny's Wraith-Begone. David's Demon Demolition Inc.
>>
>>5992417
Who you gonna call?
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>>5992532
Gunnybusters?
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>>5992576
For a split second my eyes did not register that first letter and I was preparing my throwing brick. Whew boy.
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>>5992646
Cunnybusters.
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>>5992646
Cunnybusters!
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>>5992738
>>5992743
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>>5992779
I can hear his theme already.
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>>5992576
cylia won't like being called that outside the bedroom
>>
Cylia's cunny >>> kyla's cunny > 2b i mean shodan's cunny
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>>5992305

"Hell, i dunno." You shrug. "I don't know enough psychics to say what's really 'natural' or not. But even then, i reckon if you're born with it, that's a natural-born psychic." You tell him.

"Well how the hell did you do it?" He asks. "If you only figured out whatever you did to Redbone the other day, that is?"

"I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. Could have been a lot of things. I was injured, i had dark matter poisoning, i was under a lot of stress, dodgin' for my fuckin' life..."

You rap your finger across the side of your beer can as you think about it.

"Maybe... i dunno, might have been a fight or flight reaction? I'm pretty sure dark matter exposure is critical, whatever the case, but that could be it."

It's true, when you're under severe stress, your brain can unlock parts of itself that aren't normally used, remove limiters that are normally in place to protect yourself.
It could be something similar happens when you're in a life or death situation, but you're also being exposed to dark matter... either directly, through your wounds... or indirectly, like being near a wraith.

Naturally, one would assume that a smaller dose of dark matter would make unlocking that latent potential harder. But if you're under the effects of mind-altering drugs, well...
A little dark matter, a little LSD and a healthy dose of pants-shitting fear could be the exact recipe you need.

That, or poison them half to death and make them fight until they pass out.

"Huh... might need to talk to Sanig..." You mumble to yourself. "What's the survivable dosage of dark matter, anyways? I wonder if a pill would work..."

"Gunny, the fuck you talking about over there? Quit whispering shit, it's creepy. You creepy fucker." Pickle complains.

"Shut the fuck up, Pickle. You want to talk about creepy, i wouldn't trust your ugly ass around around a middleschool OR a barnyard."

"Hey, fuck you! You want to go again, let's fuckin' go!" He yells, tossing his beer aside and pulling his shirt off.

"WOOOOO YEAH, GO AT IT! GIT 'EM GUNNY!" Red yells excitedly.

"Woah, woah, hold on, calm down you two..." Cylia starts.

Ah, this is it. You missed this feeling.
It's been forever since you fistfought one of your buddies in a parking lot.

Just like the good ol' days, when you were bored out of your mind 24/7 and desperately needed something to do.

>Let Cylia hold you back. A fistfight would be fun, but you really probably shouldn't. You guess.
>Go at it with Pickle. It's been a while and you need to shake some rust off anyways.
>Hell, why not have some fun? See if Redbone's up for it, too.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5993454
>Hell, why not have some fun? See if Redbone's up for it, too.
This'll be a good learning experience for Cylia.
>>
>>5993454
>>Go at it with Pickle. It's been a while and you need to shake some rust off anyways.
Kaiju fight, KAIJU FIGHT. You know I don't think Cylia has seen just how technical human hand-to-hand can be. She's seen the sheer physicality and killer edge in a life-or-death bout, but not "advanced playfighting". Makes me wonder if she could pick up some tips if we showed her some Judo/Jujitsu demonstrations. Boxing is probably counter intuitive, at least sport boxing. Bare knuckle is much more applicable. Muay Thai though. And to say nothing of some of the mean shit in the Marine martial arts repertoire.
>>
>>5993454
>Go at it with Pickle. It's been a while and you need to shake some rust off anyways.
>>
>>5993454
>Hell, why not have some fun? See if Redbone's up for it, too.

Three dumb monkey's having a good old time.
>>
>>5993454
>>Go at it with Pickle. It's been a while and you need to shake some rust off anyways.
Make sure to let her know this is just a casual fight.
>>
>>5993454
>>Go at it with Pickle. It's been a while and you need to shake some rust off anyways.
>>
>>5993454
>>Hell, why not have some fun? See if Redbone's up for it, too.
“Snake, try to remember the basics of cqc.”
>>
>>5993454
>Hell, why not have some fun? See if Redbone's up for it, too.
>Write-In?

CYLIA AND SHODAN, GET IN HERE, AYY LMAO PARKING LOT BRAWL, LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

I bet our sister is hitting on Gildur or some shit right now
>>
>>5993454
>>Hell, why not have some fun? See if Redbone's up for it, too.

2 on 1 just to be fair?
>>
>>5993454
>>Go at it with Pickle. It's been a while and you need to shake some rust off anyways.
>>
>>5993510
Parking lot brawl parking lot brawl.
>>
>>5993454

With a big smile on your face, you place your whole palm on top of Cylia head and roughly tussle her hair.

"H-Hey!" She complains.

"Don't worry about it, babe. We're just roughousing a little, is all." You assure her.

"ARE YOU GONNA FUCK OR FIGHT?!" Pickle yells over at you.

You turn to face him and remove your shirt, tossing it aside so it doesn't get torn up.
Your socks and shoes go as well. You want to feel your connection to the earth.

"Oh, shit." Redbone chuckles. "I think he might want to fuck!"

"What do you say, Red? Want to make it a threesome?" You ask.

"Hell, i'm drunk enough to try anything once or twice!" He grins, tossing his beer aside and removing his shirt as well.

"Woah... wait, wait, wait... what's going on here....?" Cylia blushes.

But before anyone can respond, SHODAN directs one of the ship's spotlights onto the three of you.
Standing face to face with eachother in the light, your physiques are revealed.

Redbone is fairly muscular, but it's clear he hasn't been keeping up his training to the degree you have. Still, he looks damned good for his age. Y'know, despite the slight beer gut.
Pickle on the other hand, he's as skinny as ever. But there's something wrong with that guy, he's way stronger than his muscle mass would indicate. One of those wiry little motherfuckers.

And then there's you...

"...God damn, Gunny. What have you been eating?" Red exclaims.

"Three P's, Red. Protein, pushups and pussy." You proclaim, cracking your neck to loosen up.

Cylia hides her face in embarrassment.

Pickle just looks shocked, and slightly worried, like he might have picked the wrong fight.

You don't know if it's the gene mods, the gravity training or all the dodo eggs and nutrient bread, but you're absolutely ripped.
It should be hard to make out with the skinsuit on, but the way the spotlight catches your muscles in the light still manages to highlight them nicely.

You're a good size or two larger than you were in your prime, and you aren't exactly sure what your PR in anything would be anymore.

A silence falls over the three of you as you look back and forth between eachother.
Nobody wants to make the first move, is that it?

But one of you is very impulsive, so that won't last long, you reckon.
And you also think you know how this is going to end up going.

Sure enough, Red is the first to move. He darts towards you, paying no attention at all to Pickle, who's behind him... because he knows it doesn't matter.
Pickle is a dickhead, so of course he's going to fight together with Red to try and beat your ass, before taking on an already-exhausted Red at the end.

...Red looks like he's gonna go for your stomach.

>Fight defensively, redirect their blows and see what they can do for a while
>Fight aggressively, you don't want them pushing their advantage, so it's best to shut them down.
>Fight intelligently, try to use them against eachother. It's harder to fight together with someone than it looks.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5993883
>Fight aggressively, you don't want them pushing their advantage, so it's best to shut them down.
Gorillamode
>>
>>5993883
>Fight intelligently, try to use them against eachother. It's harder to fight together with someone than it looks.
>>
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>>5993883
Gunny would surely be agile enough to sidestep to keep the closest Red blocking the way from the further Pickle. So.. I vote both, and knock Red about to drive home the point. Maybe his retardedness will be lifted?
>Fight aggressively, you don't want them pushing their advantage, so it's best to shut them down.
>Fight intelligently, try to use them against eachother. It's harder to fight together with someone than it looks.
>>
>>5993883
>>Fight defensively, redirect their blows and see what they can do for a while

I'm worried about crippling these guys with our freak genemod strength.
>>
>>5993883
>Fight aggressively, you don't want them pushing their advantage, so it's best to shut them down.
>>
>>5993883
>Fight defensively, redirect their blows and see what they can do for a while
Let's tire them out. Fighting aggressively might cause them way too much harm.
>>
>>5993883
>>Fight intelligently, try to use them against eachother. It's harder to fight together with someone than it looks.
>>
>>5993883
>Fight aggressively, you don't want them pushing their advantage, so it's best to shut them down.
UNGA BUNGA
>>
>>5993883
>>Fight aggressively, you don't want them pushing their advantage, so it's best to shut them down.

>Muh superior speed
fuck you pickle
>>
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>>5994518
>dexfags when a strfag just bodyslams them and grabs them
>>
>>5994519
In the words of a much smarter man than me, the floor is undefeated.
>>
>>5994531
The ground, world champion of the game of chicken since forever.
>>
>>5994537
Don't forget his proteges, the wall and hard furniture.
>>
>>5994539
>>5994537
Brick to the nose
>>
>>5994539
>>5994568
Truly the environment is your best battle buddy.
>>
Aggressive wins it.
Roll me 1d100, best of 3. Higher is better.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>5994802
>>
>>5994802
Am I doing it rite
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>5994802
Shit
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>5994802
HAPPY FEET! WOMBO COMBO!
>>
>>5994813
Damn. They just got dynamic entry'd by a guy they are staring at. They're slacking.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>5994802
Busdriver...
>>
>>5994817
Nobody expects a brick wall to move like somebody Pickle's size I guess.
>>
its been a while since we'd roll
hope this doesn't do some real injury
>>
>>5994920
As we all know, Gunny is a gentle lover.
>>
>>5994820
I don't expect a brick wall to move at all, and I can jump higher than a counter, too!
>>
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>>5995032
It happens sometimes man. Pic related.
>>
>>5993883

You're sure you're gonna take a hit or two during this, so you know what? You're just not going to worry about it.
If pain is the price of victory, then you'll buy.

Red doesn't seem particularly phased as you step in towards him. He lands a shot against your gut that honestly hurts like hell, but it's nowhere near enough to double you over.
At the same time though, you plant your foot and twist your whole body, driving your left fist up into his liver so hard that his body nearly comes off the ground.

...Or so you thought. Red just barely managed to lower his arm, taking it with his forearm instead of straight to his organs.
Still, you see panic temporarily wash over his face for some reason as he's knocked aside. He stumbles as he struggles to stay on his feet.

It's not over though, because Pickle is right behind him. Hiding his approach with Red's larger frame, he only comes into view as you knock Red away.

Pickle throws something at you as your eyes lock with his. Normally you'd refuse to close your eyes during a fight, but you know how Pickle is.
You quickly clench your eyes shut, and an instant later you feel a spray of dirt, sand and gravel hit you in the face.

Shaking it off, you just barely open your eyes in time to see Pickle leaping up at you, in an attempt to drive his knee straight into your chin.
You don't care how tough you are, you don't want to take that one. So you're forced to cover your chin with both hands to absorb the blow.

Pickle's knee stops against your palms but still manages to knock your head backwards a bit, causing Pickle to momentarily disappear from your view.
It seems that he simply dropped to the ground, because a moment later you feel his shin slam into the side of your ankle.

...You barely even feel it. In fact, that twinge of pain on his face indicates it hurt him more than it did you.
You grin down at him as you stomp towards his stomach, forcing him to roll away from you. He pops back up to his feet some distance away.

You're about to chase after him, when Red tackles you from the side.
It doesn't hurt, but he picked a good moment. You had just taken your foot off the ground to take a step, so he's able to knock you over with the force of his tackle.

As you're going down though, you plant your elbow straight into his side against his ribs.
You hear him forcibly exhale, and through your peripheral vision you can see him hurtin' from it pretty good.

Together with the elbow you threw, you're able to twist your body just enough that Red lands beside you rather than on top of you.
Which is good, because Pickle immediately ran up to kick you straight in the side of the goddamned head. What an asshole.

You're able to avoid it by sitting up, and at the same time you roll over and make a grab for the leg he's still standing on.
Agile little fucker that he is, he manages to avoid your grab by pulling his leg up and hopping over it
>>
>>5995072
>Which is good, because Pickle immediately ran up to kick you straight in the side of the goddamned head. What an asshole.
>What an asshole.
What a champion you mean.
>>
>>5995072
pickle, you based motherfucker
>>
>>5995072
Pickle has embraced the Dale Gribble style of martial arts, what a legend.
>>
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>>5995448
It's only natural for somebody that's chimpmaxxed as much as Pickle to have the ingenuity of one as well.
>>
Pickle what the fuck, how are they friends with him if he will kick you on the head like that?
>>
>>5995452
dude, david went straight for the liver. all of them are dickheads
>>
>>5995452
>Is known only as "Pickle", even to the US Government
>admitted to attempting to start a cult for the hell of it
>defaulted to running moonshine in the year of our Lord, 2023
>has pulled enough shit for the Government to feel comfortable framing him for bank robbery
>is acknowledged as fucking crazy by David "Career War Criminal" Rockefeller and Red "I Just Wanna Grill (Spooks)" Masterson
I'm surprised he hasn't taken our back and started biting at our jugular.
>>
>>5995466
>GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT - pickle, probably
>>
>>5995473
If he can pull off Monkey-Steals-Peaches, I'd be more concerned about pic related.
>>
What is this team missing?
A medic?
A computer guy?
More women?
>>
>>5995480
Star Trek has green women. Mass Effect has blue women.
Therefore I elect we find a nice red woman.
Also yeah a combat medic would be nice.
>>
>>5995484
We got catgirls, goblin girls, and gynoids, we got three flavors already
>>
>>5995480
a fucking psychiatrist and a diplomat. maybe a priest or better yet, a gnostic as well
>>
>>5995495
We need Souverine, maybe?
>>
>>5995480
Clank.
I miss our little robot buddy...
>>
>>5995480
more women
>>
>>5995484
the skin suit armor MK II can administer any kind of drug, I want to believe. That's our combat medic right there.
>>
>>5995484
>Therefore I elect we find a nice red woman.
We already know a red woman. And a blue one. And a green one?
>>
>>5995545
and a yellow one. I am positive David's HS sweeheart was asian
>>
>>5995588
Isn't the lizard doctor lady an off yellow? Or am I crazy? I thought she looked like a bearded dragon.
>>
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>>5995545
>Pickle's reaction when he meets the oni sisters
>Redbone's reaction when he meets the yandere doctor who just wants to experiment on him
>>
>>5995545
Doesn't have to be an alien Anon, just saying. A qt Native American ranger/shaman would also be good.
>>
>>5995545
i mean, if we add optical camo to one of shodan's bodies we have all the colors in the rainbow, and outside the visible spectrum as well
>>
>>5995814
I mean we could also just dye her skin with some variable color range pigments. That kinda tech isn't totally far-fetched given our current facilities, right?
>>
>>5995072

Pickle sucks air through his teeth as he lands on his other foot and dances away from you.
He's got a look on his face like he just narrowly avoided getting bit by a rattlesnake.

"Ow." Red grumbles, laying flat on the ground while you pick yourself up.

"What's the matter, Pickle?" You call out, grinning. "Fraid to get near me?"

"Just afraid i might whoop your ass!" He yells back, clearly keeping his distance.

Red sits up and starts getting back to his feet, but he's still rubbing his arm where you punched him.
It looks red already, that's probably gonna leave a bruise.

"Goddamn, Gunny. You punch harder than i remember." He complains. "Bout broke my goddamned arm."

"Well, i was worried about losing muscle in all that low gravity, you know."

You shake your arms out and put your fists up in a boxing stance, readying yourself for them again.
Pickle stands next to Red, and starts whispering to him. But your ears have been cleared up by that tinnitus medicine, so you can hear him.

"Shit, he's quick for his size, ain't he?" Pickle whispers.

"And he hits like a goddamned truck." Red whinges, not bother to whisper at all.

"Whadda ya want to do?"

"Shit man, i dunno. I'll take the front, you take the back?"

"We fightin' or fuckin'?" You call out.

They share a look between them, and without hesitation Red takes up a similar stance to your own, while Pickle runs around to take you from behind.
But for the moment, Pickle maintains his distance. He's waiting until Red has you thoroughly distracted before he strikes.

In response, you change your stance to turtle up and turn to the side, keeping both of them in your peripheral vision.

"Fuckin' animal." Pickle cusses under his breath.

...After a few moments of silence, Red charges at you.
He throws a straight at the side of your head before he's even in range, timing it to make contact by the time he reaches you.

You lean back to dodge it, and simultaneously throw a jab with your left hand out to your side, towards him.
Red draws his right arm back as he slips around your jab towards your front, and throw his left at you as he rotates his torso.

You can vaguely see Pickle moving behind you again, attempting to get out of your line of sight.
You'll have to let him for now, but you can at least take care of Red in the moment.

Leaning back even further, your torso is practically at a 90 degree angle as you drive your shin straight up into Red's crotch.
You hear a groan of pain from him as you watch Pickle running towards you from what should be your back, but now, from this position, you can see him.

Your hand makes contact with the ground, allowing you to quickly twist your torso first, then your legs around, so that you're now facing Pickle.
You quickly push yourself up with one hand and charge forwards simultaneously, allowing the momentum to push you the rest of the way upright.

Pickle's eyes widen and he starts to change course. Fucker, he's just gonna run away!
>>
>>5996275

>Stand your ground, you've got nothing to worry about, even if they both come at you.
>Chase after him. Once you stick your foot in his ass, it's game over.
>Beat Red's ass first. Pickle will probably give up if you do.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5996277
>>Write in
>>De escalate.
David is captain now
>>
>>5996277
Beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker. Throw Red at Pickle. Then call them fags.
>>
>>5996277
>Beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker. Throw Red at Pickle. Then call them fags.
>>
>>5996277
>Beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker. Throw Red at Pickle.
>>
>>5996277
>Beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker. Throw Red at Pickle.
>>
>>5996277
>>Beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker. Throw Red at Pickle.
>>
>>5996277
>Beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker. Throw Red at Pickle. Then call them fags.
>>
>>5996302
>+1 enough is enough. He's essentially admitted defeat.
>>
>>5996277
>>5996302
>support
We have magic healing devices but why risk injury
>>
>>5996277
>Write-In?
>Beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker. Throw Red at Pickle.
>>
>>5996277
>>5996324
Funniest things are the best things.
In before SHODAN calls us a retard again for throwing things at the worst times and it all blowing up in our face literally or metaphorically.
>>
>>5996275

You get a funny little idea in your head. It'd be hilarious if you could somehow pick Red up and smack Pickle with him, but it's just not possible. Not in earth's gravity.
You'd have enough trouble catching Pickle as it is, nevermind while carrying a two-hundred pound man.

Still, the spirit overtakes you.
So, as Pickle curves away and runs right past you, you turn to see Redbone still standing, surprisingly, clutching at his dick. Not so surprisingly.

"Gunny, you motherfucker...! My chode! MY CHODE!" He cries.

Your nose flares and your eyes widen as you start ooking at him.

"The fuck's wrong with you, goofy motherfucker?!" Red cusses.

Your ooking intensifies as you approach him. He tried to run off, but his busted balls won't let him.

"No Travis, no! Put her down!" You yell, grabbing Red under his crotch and around his neck and lifting him clear over your head.

"HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT GUNNY NO!" Red screams.

Cylia watches on as your ooks turn into full on chimpanzee screeches, and you pump Red up and down over your head, waddling towards Pickle like an ape all the while.
She hangs her head and shakes it in disbelief before walking back to the ship.

Pickle on the other hand, almost looks panicked.

"Gunny, put him down! Did those fucking demons get you?!" Pickle yells, still making every effort to stay away from you.

"Oh my god, he's eating her!" You yell, with a mile-wide grin.

"He's not possessed goddamnit, he's fuckin' retarded!" Red yells.

"OOH AAAAAAHHHHHH!" You screech, throwing Red down so that he lands on the flat of his back against the pavement.

He has the wind knocked out of him, but has the forethought to cover the back of his head to keep from getting a concussion.
Through his coughs and sputters, you hear Red call it quits.

"I give up... my fuckin' nuts hurt, man. Too old for this shit... and you ruined my buzz."

You lock eyes with Pickle again, and drop down into an ape-like squat before your fallen prey.

"No... don't you fuckin' dare." Pickle grumbles.

"Ook. Ook ook."

"Gunny...!"

>You're not satisfied with just beating on Red. You really wanted to fight Pickle, and all he's done is run like a bitch.
>Fine, fine. You'll call it quits here... so long as Pickle admits he's a bitch who can't take you in a fight, fair or not.
>The spirit of Travis has overtaken you, and you've already claimed one set of balls. You want one more.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5997521
>Fine, fine. You'll call it quits here... so long as Pickle admits he's a bitch who can't take you in a fight, fair or not.
>>
>>5997521
>Fine, fine. You'll call it quits here... so long as Pickle admits he's a bitch who can't take you in a fight, fair or not.
>>
>>5997521
>>The spirit of Travis has overtaken you, and you've already claimed one set of balls. You want one more.
>>
>>5997521
>The spirit of Travis has overtaken you, and you've already claimed one set of balls. You want one more.
>>
>>5997521
>>Fine, fine. You'll call it quits here... so long as Pickle admits he's a bitch who can't take you in a fight, fair or not.

Pickle's strategy of running away worked at least. Heh.
>>
>>5997521
>The spirit of Travis has overtaken you, and you've already claimed one set of balls. You want one more.
>>
>>5997521
>Fine, fine. You'll call it quits here... so long as Pickle admits he's a bitch who can't take you in a fight, fair or not.

Holy shit, Travis is real
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_(chimpanzee)
>>
>>5997521
>>The spirit of Travis has overtaken you, and you've already claimed one set of balls. You want one more.
>>
>>5997610
After reading this article, I am now going to work out and train with the goal of being able to consistently manhandle a full grown chimp.
>>
>>5997673
This is why chimps make dogshit pets but bonobos are primo. Too bad bonobos are endangered. Or "under threat", whatever shit they say nowadays.
>>
>>5997521
>>You're not satisfied with just beating on Red. You really wanted to fight Pickle, and all he's done is run like a bitch.
No way this mdfk is the one that started. And David is the one that finishes it
>>
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holyshit
>>
>>5997521
>>The spirit of Travis has overtaken you, and you've already claimed one set of balls. You want one more.
TIME TO CHIMP OUT ON PICKLE AND TWIST HIS PICKLE
>>
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>>5997707
>>
>>5997521
>>Fine, fine. You'll call it quits here... so long as Pickle admits he's a bitch who can't take you in a fight, fair or not.
>>
>>5997673
>being able to consistently manhandle a full grown chimp
Don't let their average weight deceive you; their muscles are structured differently than humans, and pound for pound they are much, much stronger, and chimps are basically all muscle. They'll literally rip you apart, hand from wrist, forearm from elbow, arm from shoulder. They'll take chunks out of you. This woman here >>5997707 had the middle of her face taken out.
They may not be able to make a fist to throw a punch, but they have absolutely no rules as to how they fight; they'll tear apart or tear off EVERYTHING they can get a grip on.
Shoot them, don't risk engaging them in melee.

Btw, the police audio recording from the incident is funny as shit *distant chimp noises*
>>
>>5997890
One thing to keep in mind is that even though chimps are proportionately stronger than humans, humans are literally bigger. They aren't ten times stronger. They aren't even five times stronger. A grown man COULD throw a chimp around no problem. But as you said, the simple animal ferocity and different tools at a chimp's disposal basically makes it a game of how much flesh you're gonna lose before you can chuck it. You go to grab it by the arms and swing it and it's biting your fingers off. It's not really feasible to punch one out because their heads are anchored way better than ours.

The reason why you can't beat a chimp in a fistfight isn't because they're stronger or faster, it really is just because their bodies are literally built better for fighting naked than ours is. That of course goes out the window when we pick up a pointy stick and throw it at them. Humans are the world champions of throwing shit. Even though you see plenty of vids of chimps chucking things with surprising accuracy and power, human arm and torso structure is straight up optimized for throwing.

Turns out, man not being able to just bite shit like other apes makes them pretty dogwater at fighting other apes.
>>
>>5997521
>Fine, fine. You'll call it quits here... so long as Pickle admits he's a bitch who can't take you in a fight, fair or not

This IS supposed to be a relatively friendly fight. Seems like a good idea to let pickle have the out of admitting he's a bitch
>>
>>5997903
>This IS supposed to be a relatively friendly fight
that went out of the window from the moment david went for the liver and pickle used pocket gravel
>>
>>5998015
For David, that IS a relatively friendly fight. Nobody's dead or dying, after all. It's just that what's relatively friendly for him and the people even a little bit like him is far different than for sane and/or reasonable people.
>>
>>5997521
>>Fine, fine. You'll call it quits here... so long as Pickle admits he's a bitch who can't take you in a fight, fair or not.
>>
>>5998015
It did seem a little extreme. Then again, sometimes I imagine Earth is like Baki-type setting whereas the rest of the universe is a normal place more or less.
>>
>>5998015
Nobody's pulled a knife or gone for the eyes.
What's a little bruised liver or chipped tooth between friends?
>>
>>5997521

"Alright, alright. I won't rip your balls off... but only if you admit that you're a pussy-ass bitch who can't take me even in a two on one."

Pickle's expression immediately shifts from worry to indignation.

"Buh- fuckin', no! Fuck no!"

You throw your hands up and give him the side eye.

"Am i wrong though? What have you been doing this whole time?" You ask.

"I... I fuckin' kicked you!"

"Pfft. Once." You snicker.

"Fuck. Off."

"Not until you say it." You grin.

Pickle glances over at Red, and begins yelling to him.

"Red! Get your ass up, man! This isn't over yet!"

...Red rolls over onto his side, but still refuses to get up off the ground.

"Nah, man. I'm not gonna be the only one gettin' my ass kicked tonight." He grumbles, waving Pickle off.

"It's cause you weren't really helping." You shrug.

Pickle's eyes are starting to look a little wild. He realizes he's on his own, and he's clearly trying to wind himself up to fight you. He wants to do it, but he knows it probably won't end well.
Still, he starts bouncing on his feet, chewing on his own lips and breathing a bit heavier.

"What'll it be, Pickle Brown? You gonna live like bitch, or die like a man?" You demand of him.

That was all he needed. Pickle drops into a low stance and charges at you with a high-pitched battle-cry.

"WHOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Now that's the Pickle i know!"

Yeah, that's the Pickle you know, alright. He hates fighting head on, but when it comes down to it he's like a cornered animal.
His first move is to throw a flying elbow at your head. He's trying to use his bodyweight to make up the difference in build and strength, but it ain't enough.

You grab his elbow and redirect it, planning to throw him aside... but as it turns out, he wasn't committed to the elbow at all. Instead, you see his left palm coming straight for your face, and you're forced to block it as well.

Wait, palm?
Ah, shit.

A moment too late, you realize what he'd done.
He used the imminent threat of the flying elbow to draw your attention to his right, then used his open palm to ensure you'd see his left hand coming in your periphery.

But in blocking both of those, you've left your midsection wide open.
In the same moment that you're realizing all of this, you feel Pickle plant his foot straight in your gut, with his whole bodyweight behind it.

You're forced to exhale as you stumble back a step, and Pickle falls to the ground in a roll, immediately popping back up to his feet.

>That wasn't half bad, using your own instincts against you. You think you could let him off the hook after that one.
>Now that he's in the mood, you definitely want to keep going. Although, if it's Pickle, things might get a little out of hand.
>You have a fun idea. Why not put him up against someone more his size? See if you can't get Cylia to come spar with him.
>Write-In?
>>
>>5998157
>Now that he's in the mood, you definitely want to keep going. Although, if it's Pickle, things might get a little out of hand.
You know damn well we can't let a shot like that go unanswered. Besides, this is a good learning experience for Cyl, witnessing David vs Goliath II.
>>
>>5998157
>Now that he's in the mood, you definitely want to keep going. Although, if it's Pickle, things might get a little out of hand.
>>
>>5998157
>Now that he's in the mood, you definitely want to keep going. Although, if it's Pickle, things might get a little out of hand.

>>5998171
The thing is, Cylia has already left.
>>
>>5998190
>The thing is, Cylia has already left.
oh shit that's right
Well we still owe Pickle a good one
>>
>>5998157
>Now that he's in the mood, you definitely want to keep going. Although, if it's Pickle, things might get a little out of hand.
Well, now is a time as good as any to find out more about each other. Better here in a "friendly" spar than elsewhere with real lives and consequences on the line.
>>
>>5998157
>>Fight the fight
>>
>>5998157
>>You have a fun idea. Why not put him up against someone more his size? See if you can't get Cylia to come spar with him.
>>
>>5998157
>>That wasn't half bad, using your own instincts against you. You think you could let him off the hook after that one.

Pickle is hella shifty, I like it.
>>
>>5998157
>That wasn't half bad, using your own instincts against you. You think you could let him off the hook after that one.
>>
>You have a fun idea. Why not put him up against someone more his size? See if you can't get Cylia to come spar with him.
>>
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>>5999657
>>5999653
>>
>>5998157

Now that Pickle's actually in the mood to fight, you really want to keep going.
Only, Pickle being Pickle, you're a little worried he'll get carried away.

He'd never admit it of course, but you wouldn't be shocked if he had a body or two hidden somewhere.

"Not bad, Pickle Brown." You grin.

He doesn't reply. Instead, he rips a branch off one of the decorative trees lining the parking lot, to wield it as a weapon.
Well, it's better than a knife. You might really have to kick the shit out of him if he pulled a knife.

Normally you might have waited for him to come to you, in order to avoid wasting energy... but here on earth, you've got stamina for days.
You suck in a big lungful of refreshing parking lot air before taking off towards him, aiming to knock the wind out of him by hitting him in the gut.

However, Pickle dips behind the tree he just ripped a branch off of in order to prevent you from charging him head on.
Instead, you're forced to try and go around... but Pickle just dances around, keeping the tree between you and himself.

And then he breaks the damned stick over your knee.
That's... i mean, it hurts, but it doesn't hurt you. It's just fucking annoying.

While you're busy contemplating what the fuck he's trying to accomplish exactly, he does the unthinkable.
He goes for your balls. Specifically, he jabs the broken end of his stick straight into your dick so hard that it breaks a second time, rendering it useless and causing you to double over.

He doesn't end it there though. No, of course he'd follow up after that, and you're quite far from the dim light of the fire you've got going in your charcoal grill, so it's a bit hard to see him...

But you know exactly what he's gonna do, so with your hands already covering your crotch, you face your palms down and prepare to grab it.
As expected, Pickle's leg comes flying up to kick you in the balls, but instead he finds your fingers locked around his ankle like a vise.

Just a moment ago he was standing on his own two legs, but now he finds himself flying through the air, being swung around by his ankle by a chimp-possessed bootleg captain kirk.
You wanted to knock the breath out of him, and that's exactly what you'll do. He lands with a thud against relatively soft dirt around the parking lot, and you hear him wheeze as the air is forced out of his lungs.

Then you swing him again, this time slamming his stomach against the trunk of the tree he'd been running around.
He falls to the ground there as you let his leg go, and barely manages to kink his head to the side, avoiding your foot as you drive it down into the dirt.

He tucks and rolls between your legs as you wind up to hit him again, managing to get himself behind you.
It looks like he's learned from last time that he doesn't have to weight to take your feet out from under you, because as you're turning around this time, you feel him slam his elbow into your knee instead.

>Roll 1d100, best of 3
>Higher is better
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5999883
https://mangahasu.se/hanma-baki/chapter-290-dress-c22329.html
plot relevant.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>5999883
LEEEEROOYYY JENKINS
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>5999883
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>5999883
I was taking a nap, who hit us?
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>5999883
CAN YOU TAKE ME HIGHER, TO THE LAND WHERE BLIND MEN SEE
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>5999883
Rolling why not i need to pass the time before surgery
>>
>>6000533
>>5999906
These two make a hundred.
>>
>>6000534
Dumbass, can't you do math? That makes 120.
>>
>>5999883

He isn't trying to hurt you with that blow, though.
Instead, he forces your knee to buckle, which forces you down onto one knee.

Almost the second you're down to his level, you feel him jump onto your back, where he wraps his arm around your neck to try and choke you out.
Instinctively, you tuck your chin down to save your windpipe, and then begin forcing your hand under his arms with raw strength.

However, surprisingly, you can't get him loose. Even with all your strength, he clings to you like a barnacle stuck to the belly of a ship. You're afraid you'll break his arms if you push any harder.
But while you're trying to avoid breaking anything, this motherfucker starts biting the shit out of your ear!

"AHH, GODDAMNIT! YOU FUCKIN' COCKSUCKER!" You scream.

Again, you try to rip Pickle off of you, but he's willing to break a limb before letting go.
So you do the next best thing, and start headbutting him.

"NO! BITING! YOU FUCKIN'! CHILD!"

With each word you slam the back of your head into his face, and with the first headbutt you're pretty sure you hear his nose crunch.
But he just grits his teeth, clamps on even tighter and growls in your ear.

Right, now you're pissed.

...What do you weigh again? You aren't even sure anymore, you stopped weighing in a while ago.
Either way, Pickle's about to feel all of it. You stand up to your full height, walk over to the curb and face away from the parking lot.

Without a word or warning, you give it your best leap to gain some height and drop straight down onto the pavement, with only Pickle between you and the asphalt.
You feel his ribcage flex on impact, to the point that you wouldn't be surprised if he broke a rib or two, and he screams like he's about to shit out all of his organs.

More importantly though, his grip loosens around your neck, and you're able to throw his arms off as you roll off of him.

You feel something warm and wet running down the side of your head, so you reach up to feel of your ear... and it's still intact, but there's deep bite marks and a good bit of blood.
Likewise, Pickle has blood splattered across his face from a broken nose, and is currently spluttering and trying to catch his breath as he rolls about the parking lot.

"You call that friendly?" Cylia asks, walking over from around the side of the ship.

You forcibly exhale as you start to mentally disengage.

"Oh, hey Cyl. I thought you went inside?"

"No, i just didn't want to get involved in something this stupid. Are you always like this with your 'friends'?"

"Ah, well..."

You look over at Pickle, who's finally managed to sit up. He wipes the blood off his face with his sleeve, but his nose is still bleeding.

"Sometimes, yeah." You admit. "Specially with Pickle."

"Gotta water the driveway from time to time, as they say..." Red adds, waddling over as he adjusts his balls.

"...What?" Cylia asks, confused.

"You know, with blood. Cause we'd always go out in the driveway to fight?" He explains.
>>
>>6000576
Nu uh idiot its a hundo
>>
>>6000604
>blah blah blah woman speaking
Does the translator comes with a filter?
>>
>>6000604
If Cylia was a dog and not cat, she'd get it.
>>
>>6000604
These are the knds of guys that do backyard wrestling or end of getting thrown 16 feet off hell in a cell into an announcer's table.
>>
>>6000834
Nah Pickle is the kinda guy to show up on bum fights. Red and David are the type to make videos about performing wrestling moves in their back yard onto cheap plastic fold out tables with no safety gear.
>>
>>6000860
Hmmm. Yeah, yeah, I think you're right.
>>
>>6000695
nah man, cat fights leave tufts of fur and blood around. They might posture a lot, but when it gets serious they don't pull their punches.

They will withdraw when the fighting gets serious enough though and the injuries mount up. After all, an injured predator is an easy target for the next fight and the fight after that. Something Pickle should have realised.
>>
>>6000604
Sigh. We're missing Shemp.
>>
>>6000933
No but that's the thing. Cats generally only fight when they're threatened or when it's explicitly neccessary.
Dogs will tussle and bite at each other's necks just to pass the time, at least in my experience.
>>
I just realized something.
What are we gonna tell Ma when she sees David's ear?
>>
>>6001199
I doubt she is unaware of David's lifetime of horsing around but she might blame Shodan, heh.
>>
Rolled 86, 35, 7, 27, 30 = 185 (5d100)

test
>>
>>6000604

"You shouldn't fight like that." Cylia chastises. "I don't... i mean, do i really need to explain this? These are your friends, aren't they, David?"

"Duh." You reply, crossing your arms and eyes simultaneously. She's so preachy, you swear.

"Then why? If they're your friends, how can you intentionally draw blood like that, even if... even if you claim you aren't actually trying to kill eachother?"

Cylia sighs.

"I honestly just don't get it."

Pickle hops back up to his feet, places a thumb over one of his nostrils and blows a chunk of... you assume clotted blood out the other.

"Cause we're brothers, you see!" He grins, throwing his arm way up over your shoulder. "His blood is mine, and mine is his. So who's gonna tell me i can't shed my own blood? Huh?"

You and Pickle share a look, both of you knowing you barely even half believe that.
I mean, you'd kill the shit out of someone for his sake, but it's not like he's actually your brother or nothin'.

Yeah, it's whatever. Don't make it gay, you know.

You wrap your arm around Pickle's side and pick up him, shaking him around and exacerbating the pain he's probably feeling in his ribs right now.

"That's right, he's my little battle buddy!" You tell her, in your best mocking voice.

"Alright, alright, set me down, fucker. That fuckin' hurts." He complains. "Fuckin' gorilla retard."

"Hey, you call me an animal, but you chimp out with the best of 'em, probably cause you're sized like one too." You compliment.

"You two done suckin' eachother off?" Red asks. "Cause somebody needs to run down the Windmill and get us some more beer."

"You sure you didn't hit your head too hard, Red? We got the fab, remember?" You remind him.

"Ah shit, that's right. Damn if it ain't-"

Red cuts himself off mid-sentence. He suddenly looks more pissed than you've seen him in a long, long time, and he immediately draws a buck knife out of it's sheath on his belt.
He charges at you and Pickle out of nowhere, and the both of you instantly move to stop him, with Pickle pulling his own knife...

"BEHIND YOU!" Red shouts.

You feel something stab into your back, but you aren't sure what.
Both Pickle and yourself turn at the same time, while Red rushes past and tackles somebody in a black bodysuit, who was coming up behind you.

You pull something out of your shoulder. A dart, with a barbed needle and a glass ampoule which failed to deliver it's payload thanks to the armored skinsuit you're wearing.

"SHODAN." You order.

"Searching."

You bodyblock Pickle, who was about to go and help out Redbone. Another dart lands against your chest, and again fails to penetrate the skinsuit.

"Chinese motherfucker!" Red screams, punching the shit out of whoever he just tackled. That was a good, meaty sound.
>>
>>6001438

>Order Redbone and Pickle back on the ship. You don't know who's attacking or what's in these darts, but they don't have skinsuits on.
>You and Cylia will cover those two for now. Wait for SHODAN to find whoever's attacking you with the ship's sensor suite.
>These darts are fairly short range. You know the direction it came from, and your night vision's good. Just go for him.
>Write-In?
>>
>>6001440
>>You and Cylia will cover those two for now. Wait for SHODAN to find whoever's attacking you with the ship's sensor suite.

Somebody is DARTING us? Its gotta be bait.
>>
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>>6001438
>You and Cylia will cover those two for now. Wait for SHODAN to find whoever's attacking you with the ship's sensor suite.
FUCKING CHINAMEN
>>
>>6001440
>You and Cylia will cover those two for now. Wait for SHODAN to find whoever's attacking you with the ship's sensor suite.
>>
>>6001440
>>Chase at them with Cylia.
They are smart assassins they will retreat ASAP. If we wait for SHODAN it will be too late and we won't get any REVENGANCE
>>
So in any case, the FEDs are getting uppity and will now experience our full wrath. Collective karmic punishment is a bitch.
>>
>>6001468
Given the geopolitical situation in this timeline, they may actually be Chinamen.
That or the feds pulled their usual schtick and disregarded our agreement entirely.
>>
>>6001483
Chinese operatives in the middle of nowhere USA with dart guns and bodygloves? Doubt it. Then again this is a Dollar Tree parking lot or whatever so perhaps. I think it's still glowies. Doing some gayop co-op bullshit with the Chinee
>>
>>6001440
>You and Cylia will cover those two for now. Wait for SHODAN to find whoever's attacking you with the ship's sensor suite.
>Once Shodan locates them order the metal gear to open fire on their position
>>
>>6001483
>>6001489
Could be both, or some larper kids trying to catch alien chicks. Still, point stands, someone is getting cyberfucked, and not in a hot way.
>>
>>6001440
>>Order Redbone and Pickle back on the ship. You don't know who's attacking or what's in these darts, but they don't have skinsuits on.
>>
>>6001489
Whoever it is, they're getting tortured
>>
>>6001440
>You and Cylia will cover those two for now. Wait for SHODAN to find whoever's attacking you with the ship's sensor suite.

I WILL SHOW YOU A COBALT BELT.
>>
>>6001440
>Order Redbone and Pickle back on the ship. You don't know who's attacking or what's in these darts, but they don't have skinsuits on.
We're making them some ASAP.
>>
If nukes where to launch how many would we be able to intercept?
>>
>>6001438
>Write-In

Mental scream, tell them to freeze or we're melting their brains out.

The guy Red has hit needs to be captured ASAP. He'll probably poison pill himself and needs to be frozen/stabilized before the poison works for interrogation.

They probably haven't been briefed on telepathy, so it should throw them the fuck off.

Talking with the US government about the operatives and then crashing the Chinese economy for their action should be a good move. Or just deleting the great firewall, allowing every chinese person access to the world internet.

Or broadcasting information about the tiananmen square massacre from every screen and speaker throughout China. Along with the fact they've attacked an Alien delegation and have 48 hours before we nanowire every city in China, which is enough time for people to leave, unless they contact us.

https://youtu.be/HWdhLsFwVYw
>>
>>6001779
That's dumb. The sharper something is the faster it dulls. Wire would snap so fucking fast. DEATH RAYS, however.
>>
>>6001440
>You and Cylia will cover those two for now. Wait for SHODAN to find whoever's attacking you with the ship's sensor suite.
>>
>>6001789
We don't have to actually do it. The fact it's an extremely famous novel in China and the fact we MIGHT be able to do it may get them to get off their asses.
>>
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>>6001798
>We don't have to actually do it.
>>
>>6001440
>>These darts are fairly short range. You know the direction it came from, and your night vision's good. Just go for him.
if it’s the feds well we’ll just lock down every communication channels that they have and have any major calls re-routed towards us but it’s the chinks well let’s see what happens if they realize that all of the nukes and wmds are either gone or replaced with duds or completely destroyed the economy both works either way
>>
>>6001779
>Support
But without the chuuni nanowire garbage
just take over the chinese propaganda machine and destroy the ccp that way.

Also, speaking of propaganda, have Shodan pht a stop to any and all botnets, propaganda organizations, digital/"hybrid" warfare, no matter which way it is going, in so far as she hasn't already.
>>
>>6002014
Is more just that the three body problem is much more famous in china than in the USA.
The idea they pissed off the aliens might give us an advantage.
>>
We should redistribute the CCP wealth to the people of China, that's a sure way to get them in hot water.
>>
>>6002347
or better yet pick off the members of the ccp elite and frame it as the party doing purges to cause as much chaos as we can possible do
>>
>>6001438

"Cyl, cover Pickle for me! They're shooting darts, so don't get hit in the face!" You order.

"Got it."

Pickle starts to look worried as Cylia moves to cover him.

"Shit, should i get back to the ship?" He asks.

"No, stay where you are and use the ship as cover."

You don't know how many there are, or where they're at.
These two could just be a distraction for all you know, but SHODAN should be alerting the rest of the crew as you speak.

Making sure to cover your face, you run over and cover Redbone as he 'struggles' with his opponent.

"Hold still, you little cocksucker!"

The apparently chinese agent struggles to get out from under Redbone, who's sitting on top of him, trying to yank his mask off.
When the agent tries to keep him from doing so, Red begins using the mask like a handle to slam his head into the ground.

It sounds like someone smacking a ripe watermelon, along with lots of pained grunting.

You also hear another dart being fired. It whizzes past you and strikes Cylia, sticking into the tightly woven artificial muscle fibers of her suit, but failing to penetrate and just dangling where it landed as a result.

["Enemies registered, Captain. The sniper is across the road in a bush. There is a van with a third assailant parked there as well. Shall i disable the vehicle?"]

"Can you do that?"

["It is of modern make, with additional GPS and communications equipment installed inside. I believe i can stall the engine by shorting out everything inside."]

"Let me think on it a sec."

Moments later, you hear someone yelling in chinese from across the road, and another person replying to them more quietly in a frantic tone.
Meanwhile, it appears the man on the ground attempted to stab Redbone, which ended with Red breaking his arm, taking the knife and stabbing it into said broken arm.

Now he's just strangling him.

"Don't kill him, Red. I want info." You warn.

"No promises." Red growls.

>Let SHODAN disable the van, then you and Cylia can take them down by hand.
>Drag Red's catch back to the ship and blow the other two away with the ship's lasers. All you need is one of them.
>Drag Red's catch back to the ship and follow the van, see where they end up going. Maybe you can find out more that way.
>Write-In?
>>
>>6002549
How many empty cryo pods do we have right now?
>>
>>6002549
>Let SHODAN disable the van, then you and Cylia can take them down by hand.
>>
>>6002549
>Let SHODAN disable the van, then you and Cylia can take them down by hand.
at least the american spooks had the decency to talk first
>>
>>6002550

Five pods total.
It's been so long, i honestly can't remember if Randall is still in one of them or not, but you can cram more than one person in there so it doesn't really matter.
>>
>>6002558
Good to know.
>>6002549
>Drag Red's catch back to the ship and follow the van, see where they end up going. Maybe you can find out more that way.
>Vaporize the sniper across the road before you leave. Fucker almost put some holes in your nice ass skinsuit.
>>
>>6002549
>>Drag Red's catch back to the ship and follow the van, see where they end up going. Maybe you can find out more that way.

The hunt is on.
>>
>>6002549
>Let SHODAN disable the van, then you and Cylia can take them down by hand.
No giving the commie chinks psychic powers, put them all in the air lock and dump em over china
>>
>>6002558
I think we dismantled Randal and put him in another container...pretty sure?
>>
>>6002549
>>Let SHODAN disable the van, then you and Cylia can take them down by hand.
>>
>>6002643
nah, just call our spook contact and tell him we have some panda express takeout for him
>>
>>6002549
>Let SHODAN disable the van, then you and Cylia can take them down by hand.
Finally an excuse to blow the Three Gorges.
>>
>>6002183
I dont give a fuck I will not support your chuuni shit
>>
>>6002664
A good way to send a message but not really hurt anyone is to melt the great wall. Fuck your world wonder. Alternatively, just obliterate their governmental headquarters midday at high speed. Doing a drive by so fast the atmosphere is catching on fire.
>>
>>6002549
>Drag Red's catch back to the ship and follow the van, see where they end up going. Maybe you can find out more that way.
This ambush seems poorly planned; three dues in a van taking an unknown number of hostiles with unknown capabilities. Did they know this is a high-tech alien space craft, with real aliens mucking about? What are the three dudes going to do even if they succeeded in subduing the crew?
Are these guys really that desperate? Are the visible assailants just the bait for a trap? Were these guys hired by Monster Beverage Corporation?
How did SHODAN ONCE AGAIN fail to notice these guys when they're apparently driving a (((modern))) vehicle that is always online and can be remotely disabled?
Were they here the whole time? Perhaps imported Dollar Tree (budget) security guards?
>>
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>>6002731
>tfw we got archduke ferdinand'd
>>
>>6002549
>Let SHODAN disable the van, then you and Cylia can take them down by hand.
>>6002644
Randall is still alive, just frozen and set up to get poisoned when unfrozen.
>>
Damn Shodan jobbing again
We definitely need some overwatch guy just monitoring shit 24/7
>>
>>6002849
Drones. We need a swarm of drones working in shifts to do overwatch for the ship.
>>
>>6002549
>>Drag Red's catch back to the ship and follow the van, see where they end up going. Maybe you can find out more that way.
This ambush was so shit I bet this chinese can't even speak english... let's try ok?
>>
I'm half tempted to have SHODAN hack into their radio and start blasting this; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpHuFRLKpuQ
>>
>Drag Red's catch back to the ship and follow the van, see where they end up going. Maybe you can find out more that way.
>>6002963
DO IT!!!!1!!
>>
Redfield is like a fucking dog that catched a fox. You have to take it from them before the damn mutt tears it to shreds
>>
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>>6003616
You're telling me the ex-special forces member is acting like some kind of FOXHOUND?
>>
>>6002549
>Let SHODAN disable the van, then you and Cylia can take them down by hand.

Have our favorite Grey come out in his super suit to grab reds dude.
>>
>>6003771
SUCH LUST FOR REVENGE
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
>>
>>6003850
The coloring books I've lost. The crayons I've lost...
>>
>>6002549
>>6002549

"Alright. SHODAN, disable the van. Cyl, you come with me. We're gonna capture all three of them." You order.

"Alright."
["Affirmative."]

Moments later, you see the van's headlights flashing and hear it blaring a local radio station so loudly that the walls of the van begin to vibrate.
However, it all goes dead after a few moments, and you only hear the sound of a frantic chinese argument.

["Overload complete, Captain. ECU is registering major electrical faults and several blown fuses. The engine has shut down, for their safety."]

"Cyl!"

"Got it!"

Running across the street out ahead of her, you find yourself getting shot several times in the chest by darts.
Undeterred, you leap through the bushes and tackle the sniper on the other side, picking him clear up off his feet.

Your shoulder crushes him between you and the van, denting the side panel inwards and just slighting lifting the van up onto two wheels in the process.
You feel something crunch in his chest, and all he can do is let out a strangled cry.

"Shouldn't have gone for center mass!" You yell as he tries to aim his dart gun at you once again.

You grab the masked man by his throat and slam him repeatedly into the side of the van, until you notice the driver aiming a pistol out the window at you.
He demands something of you in chinese, but hell if you know what he's saying.

It doesn't matter either, because before he can fire on you, Cylia dives straight through the open window and starts beating the shit out of him.

Your man is already unconscious, so you simply drop him and go to inspect the gun which fell outside of the van when Cyl pounced on him.
...It's a cheap piece of shit with the serial filed off. .22, probably wouldn't even have gone through your suit.

"...You got him taken care of, Cyl?"

"Yeah..." She pants. "I expected him to be stronger."

You chuckle.

Stuffing the gun in your pants, you try to open the door but find it locked... and none of the buttons work.
Yeah, cause SHODAN just melted the wiring harness. You can smell the hot plastic.

Instead, you just place both hands on the inside of the door and start yanking. It bends pretty far before you manage to rip the door loose.

"You got him? I'll grab the other one."

"Sure." She replies, backing out of the cab and grabbing the man by his ankle.

He protests and starts kicking, which gets him punched in the dick.

"See, that's why i prefer to just beat their asses unconscious." You tell her.

"I didn't want to give him brain damage..."

"Ah, it doesn't matter. The heavy metals have done more damage than you ever will." You shrug.

>Search the van, see if you can't find any papers or equipment that hasn't been fried yet. Anything could be useful.
>Call up Miller and let him have the van. You're pretty sure this wasn't him, and he'd probably like to know about it.
>Set the van on fire, make sure nothing's left for anyone in the end.
>Write-In?
>>
>>6004002
>>Call up Miller and let him have the van. You're pretty sure this wasn't him, and he'd probably like to know about it.
Just let him know that there were Chinese spies trying to kidnap/kill us on American soil. No biggie.

Oh, and we're keeping the spies for the moment. Need to let them know what's going on.
>>
>>6004017
(and by "let them know what's going on" I mean interrogate/beat the shit out of them for trying to attack us. Maybe "let them know what we're about" would have been a better turn of phrase)
>>
>>6004002
>Search the van, see if you can't find any papers or equipment that hasn't been fried yet. Anything could be useful.
Make no mistake, I plan on letting Miller know exactly what we find in that van. I'm sure he'll forgive our tampering if we can give him the location of their base of operations.
>>
>>6004002
>>Set the van on fire, make sure nothing's left for anyone in the end.
FUck 'em
>>
>>6004023
Where there's one ant, there's a nest. We really wanna stick it to these fuckers, we need to figure out where their handlers are.
>>
>>6004002
>"Ah, it doesn't matter. The heavy metals have done more damage than you ever will." You shrug.
Lead paint adds at least a half a millimeter of armor onto all products coming out of da gweat China
>>
>>6004002
>Call up Miller and let him have the van. You're pretty sure this wasn't him, and he'd probably like to know about it.
>>
>>6004017
>>6004002
>support
>+loot le van
>>
>>6004002
>Search the van, see if you can't find any papers or equipment that hasn't been fried yet. Anything could be useful.
>Call up Miller and let him have the van. You're pretty sure this wasn't him, and he'd probably like to know about it.
>>6004022
Support one then the other.
>>
>>6004002
>Call up Miller and let him have the van. You're pretty sure this wasn't him, and he'd probably like to know about it.
>>
>>6004002
>because before he can fire on you, Cylia dives straight through the open window and starts beating the shit out of him.
oh shit, that's hot.
>Call up Miller and let him have the van. You're pretty sure this wasn't him, and he'd probably like to know about it.
found some panda express, on the house of course
>>
>>6004195
You can't just take your pants off every time a woman shows exceptional feats of acrobatics and agility, anon. Every other time is fine but not EVERY time.
>>
>>6004017
>Call up Miller and let him have the van. You're pretty sure this wasn't him, and he'd probably like to know about it.
Given how the goons had no idea what they were up against, I wouldn't be surprised glowies leaked incorrect information to the chinks to both fuck with us and to prod us into choosing their side.
The goons were so out of their depth it was like it was an attempted kidnapping of a defenseless civilians .
>>
>>6004232
Well the glowies wouldn't know about the skinsuits either. Or at least their capabilities. I still think it was a gayop but I do think it was an honest try and not a "pick me" scheme. So fuck the both of the groups. And while we're at it, send a message to MI6 and the KGB as well. And whatever the French and German ones are, the GIG or dumb letter/number shit, I don't know.
>>
>>6004002
>>Search the van, see if you can't find any papers or equipment that hasn't been fried yet. Anything could be useful.
We've got first dibs on this, but as >>6004022 said we should still let Miller know.
>>
>>6004213
you know? you're right, but given this is cylica, i have a proposal. lets marry her while we're still on earth
>>
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>>6004298
>>
>>6004312
Probably in Canada, yeah.
>>
>>6004312
david's from alabama. if you can marry your cousin there, you can definitely marry a catgirl
>>
>>6004298
I concur
>>
>>6004002
>>Search the van, see if you can't find any papers or equipment that hasn't been fried yet. Anything could be useful.
>>Call up Miller and let him have the van. You're pretty sure this wasn't him, and he'd probably like to know about it.
>>Check those assholes for suicide pills. We need that intel.
>>
But marriage requires exclusivity...
>>
>>6004331
i don't see the problem there
>>
>>6004331
Remember that marriage is not the same thing as monogamy. Unless you're a good Christian boah. But when's the last time David even went to church? Checkmate. Also remember that marriage in the modern day is nothing more than legally binding your assets together and has nothing at all to do with all the shit people like to say marriage is about. Damn taxes. I remember when marriage was more than changing a tick on your W2.
>>
David is married to his rifle
>>
>>6004002
>Have Shodan's body search the van.
>>
>>6004002

Before grabbing your assailant and heading back to the ship, you stick your head into van and give it a look over.
It's mostly empty, honestly. There's some radio equipment in there and shit, but it's nothing like a real surveillance van.

You consider giving it a once over, but when you don't immediately spot anything in the glovebox you give up on it.

If there's something of value in there, Miller can have it.

"SHODAN, call up our contact and let him know what just went down. Give him the location, and we'll move again."

["Affirmative, Captain."]

...

The first thing you do after getting everyone back on the ship is to check your captives for poison.
The sniper and the guy who was sneaking up on you don't have anything, but you find a string inside the driver's mouth, tied to his molar.

After carefully pulling the string up, you find it attached to a coated pill of some sort, which the fab determined to be full of cyanide.
After fitting the man with a box translator and asking him why he didn't swallow it, his answer was simple.

"I don't want to die."

Yeah, that's a pretty good reason.

The three men you captured are almost shockingly forthcoming at the slightest application of pain, with one breaking at the mere threat of it.
They don't appear to be terribly loyal to their homeland, and actually ask you several times if they can defect.

You ignore their requests and begin jotting down what they tell you.

Apparently, they have a man inside the CIA. Or several men, it would seem.
Over the past few days, there's been a big stir within just about every agency in both America and China, due to "a virus" detected on their networks.

China is currently scrambling to try and find the source, which was expected to be an American hacker, but the CCP was surprised to learn that America was also affected.
In any case, parts of their networks have been completely disconnected from the internet, or shut down entirely and swapped over to pencil and paper.

Apparently they've even dusted off a few old typewriters in some places.

SHODAN says she's aware of this, but the damage was already done long before she was detected, and only large government agencies seem to be aware of her at all so far.
Her existence and changes to the entirety of earth's computers is still top secret, and may never be revealed.

But China knows something's going on, and they very much want answers.

...And according to the driver, they received orders from their government to move based on information fed to them directly from the plants inside the CIA.
Yeah, that's not weird or anything. Not at all.

So what is it? Either they're incompetent and let information leak to the CCP, or they're bastards who intentionally leaked information to them in order to get them to act.
If it's the latter, you're curious as to why exactly they'd do that, and why the fuck Miller wouldn't inform you first.
>>
>>6004567

>Call Miller up yourself, you want answers.
>It doesn't really matter why this happened, you just know that you need to up security around your ship from now on.
>A deep, burning hatred for China dwells in your heart, and now they've attacked you directly. You must humiliate them, it's a matter of honor now.
>Write-In?
>>
>>6004568
>>A deep, burning hatred for China dwells in your heart, and now they've attacked you directly. You must humiliate them, it's a matter of honor now.
Tear down the great firewall, broadcast the truth about every coverup to anything with a screen, flood every speaker with messages about how their leader looks like Winnie the Pooh!
>>
>>6004568
>Call Miller up yourself, you want answers.
>>
>>6004568
>Call Miller up yourself, you want answers.
Ask him if he wants us to retaliate against China, and tell him about moles in the cia.
>>
>>6004568
>>Write-In?
phase one steal the chinese "5th-gen" aircraft phase two steal their carriers phase three steal their nukes and other wmds and replace them with duds phase four destroy the economy phase five destroy all power infrastructure
>>
>>6004568
>Call Miller up yourself, you want answers.
>>
>>6004568
>It doesn't matter let's go
>>
>>6004568
>Call Miller up yourself, you want answers.

But the firewall definetly has to go
>>
>>6004568
>Call Miller up yourself, you want answers.
>>
>>6004567
These are some shit secret agents.

Every nation has top tier agents available. Even if they're ACTUALLY China, this isn't their best.

Something is fucked. If anything we should also be talking directly to the CCP + US together and make it clear a direct attack is not only interpreted as one from them, but an attack on behalf of all humanity.

Everyone will have to suffer proportionally. It should ideally make all players double check on each other to prevent false flags.
>>
>>6004568
>>A deep, burning hatred for China dwells in your heart, and now they've attacked you directly. You must humiliate them, it's a matter of honor now.

We must destory every single WMD they have.
>>
>>6004567
>The three men you captured are almost shockingly forthcoming at the slightest application of pain, with one breaking at the mere threat of it.
if we didn't know these guys are chinese, i wouldn't be surprised they're israelies lmao
>>6004791
>Even if they're ACTUALLY China, this isn't their best.
i mean, the only reason we weren't knocked out was because of the skinsuit; they pretty much did everything by the textbook
>>6004568
>Call Miller up yourself, you want answers.
>>
>>6004568
This >>6004791
>If anything we should also be talking directly to the CCP + US together and make it clear a direct attack is not only interpreted as one from them, but an attack on behalf of all humanity.

Unfortunately, every side will try to play us against the other, and if we can't be bribed the best way is to antagonize us against their enemies. It'd be non-stop shit tests until someone gets desperate and loses their shit.
We're not omnipotent, and there definitely be shit we can't stop genies we can't put back into the bottle. Nip this in the bud before anyone starts climbing the escalation ladder. They deal with us together, or not at all.
We've wasted enough time here dealing with these petty fucks, it's time to check up on our friends.
>>
>>6004568
>A deep, burning hatred for China dwells in your heart, and now they've attacked you directly. You must humiliate them, it's a matter of honor now.
>>
>>6004567
>Call Miller up yourself, you want answers.
>>
>>6004879
Only one of them had a poison pill
They were aware of networks being compromised and still drove a newer van in

We were "unprotected" but surrounded by allies.
There was no covering fire or anything to provide support for the extraction team to exfil/evac.
There were no other assets utilized.

This is WAY too messy. Calling Five Eyes + China/RU and telling them they mess with us, everyone suffers. Someone not affiliated messes with us, they all suffer anyway.

There is too much riding on them not fucking up.
>>
>>6004568
ITS TIME ANONS THE THREE GORGES DAM MUST FAIL.

>call Miller
>hack the three GORGES dam and ooops accident lol.
>Sit over China ready to pew pew any nukes or anything else coming from them.
>Send a nice message to Russia. Let's be friends. Don't try to kidnap me like China. Paybacks a bitch. No affiliation to the western world.
>>
>>6005042
Nah dude you don't get it. This is illuminati shit. It ain't just the commies of the globe.
>>
>>6004568
>Call Miller up yourself, you want answers.
>A deep, burning hatred for China dwells in your heart, and now they've attacked you directly. You must humiliate them, it's a matter of honor now.
>But first, check what the Jews are doing as they might be the plants in the CIA
>>6004573
That's an insult to Winnie
>>
>>6005052
>>6005042
anon is right. even if China falls, the Jews will make their move.
>>
>>6004567
What was the Chinese operatives actual goal here in the operation? Kidnap, exfiltration, extraordinary rendition and questioning over long cups of coffee applied to a hessian bag over David's face?

I can imagine David's pissed at CCP, and still pissed at CIA for finding out their involvement. It could be their plot to mobilise a half-cocked Chinese glowie operation.
It seems childish to retaliate at them, but nationstates only recognise those with equivalent force and the loss of face.. so I'm favour of blowing up Mt Rushmore and Tiananmen Square on our way off Earth. Doing anything earlier will jeopardise our mission of finding more crew.
>>
>>6004573
>+1 to this. Do eet.
>>
>>6004573
+1
>>
>>6004568
>A deep, burning hatred for China dwells in your heart, and now they've attacked you directly. You must humiliate them, it's a matter of honor now.
>>
>>6005074
the plan is clear then. we have to destroy israel first
>>
>>6004568
>A deep, burning hatred for China dwells in your heart, and now they've attacked you directly. You must humiliate them, it's a matter of honor now.
>>
>>6005376
After china
>>
>>6005493
Jews must die first, the chinks will fall apart without their aid
>>
>>6004567

While Red continues the interrogation, you decide to get on the phone with Miller, and try to get some answers out of him.
But while you're doing that, SHODAN is busy with something else entirely.

All across china, radio stations and television studios suddenly stop broadcasting. Their computers stop responding, and their phone calls drop.
Then, all at once, a supercut of China's crimes against humanity start playing through every available medium.

People rush to cut the feeds, but their computers aren't working, so they're eventually forced to cut the power to the transmitters, literally pulling the plug.
In the banks and stores, customers hear a documentary about Mao Zedong playing over the loudspeakers while they're told the banking system is down.

In their homes, they see footage of people cooking dogs alive and dredging oil out of sewers and garbage cans for use in the food industry.

In their cars, they listen to a long history lesson on communism, layed out in the barest and most truthful of terms.
For hours and hours this goes on, until nearly every radio transmitter and internet service in china has been completely powered off.

But before that can happens, SHODAN does a lot of damage to open CCP supporters. Wiping records, social credit ruination, draining bank accounts and so-on. To the point that it'll be impossible to live for them.

China goes dark for about three days after that.
Very little information enters or leaves the country, except that they are currently experiencing an "unprecedented cyber attack".

Something that isn't actually that uncommon within the past year, as many of the world's undersea cables have been cut, and cyberwarfare was already in full swing before this.

Back on the ship, though, you've just finished your call with Miller, who confirmed a few things.

One, the CIA was not directly involved with this attack, however, they were indirectly involved.
Two, they are aware of the plants in their agency, and in fact they aren't plants, but double-agents working against the CCP.

And thirdly, those plants did not actually leak information on your location to the chinese, which means there's an actual plant that they're actually not aware of. Either in the CIA, or at LIGO itself.

The three men you captured are apparently part of a chinese overseas police force, whose sole purpose is supposed to be enforcing chinese laws on chinese citizens abroad.
According to them, their orders were unusual, but legitimate. Perhaps a sign of panic within the chinese government, which is causing them to act irrationally.

So not actual special agents with any sort of training, but glorified mall cops.
They were simply told to intimidate and capture you, then await further orders. Poor bastards had no idea what they were actually doing.

That did leave you a bit confused about the poison pill, though. He says he intended to take it if he was ever captured by American agents.
...But then simply chickened out.
>>
>>6006087
Ah, Disruption and dissent. My two favorite spices.
>>
>>6006087
this is the perfect time to defang the china we go out and steal their nukes and other wmds and replace them with duds and fakes while we're in the country try and find the bunkers where ccp officials might try and flee once the nuclear war happens also we should steal their "Fifth gen fighters"
>>
>>6006087
America has to suffer for this too also unfortunately.

If only to incentives both governments to ensure the other doesn't fuck up.
>>
>>6006194
I feel like if we aired out the US Government's dirty laundry, obliterated the credit system, and just straight shat on the banks stateside, people would be thanking us profusely.
>>
>>6006087
Yeeeeessssss
>>
>>6006194
Its Jews behind the fact glorified mall cops are on American soil anyways, they must be dealt with.
>>6006201
IE, point out the Jew Question.
>>
>>6006201
>>6006194
>>6006181
the only good move is to not play the game and leave earth. otherwise we're gonna get stuck with politics and that's a game we can't win.
lets just get married with cylia, get a list of prospective people we can take to xebric, and get the hell out of here before shit heats up(specially because russia might want to attack china instead of ukraine)
>>
>>Yes, let's destabilize the balance of powers by removing the nukes from China
>>Gringoland is NOT a power-hungry country. It only has a strong international stance to defend DEMOCRACY and FREEDOM. The defense of their interests is a response to the EVIL foreign aliens
>>It does not engage in twisted experiments, narrative control, it did not kill the internet with their bots, yadda yadda...

I am losing my shit here. Two or three threads ago you fagganons were all about "yeah, let's topple the NWO, fuck the jews, fuck the china, fuck the alphabet!" and last thread you were all like
>Hmm yes, let's give the CIA a little technology, as a treat
And now you cunt want to attack China for a FALSE FLAG???? Can we return to space please? At least there the NPCs the brain-damaged QM has made are dumber than you, the average anon.
>>
>>6006289
I've always wanted China to pay, And the American government and the jews.
>>
>>6006289
I'll have you know my stance has not changed. I also want to take the Christ The Redeemer statue and mount it on the prow of our carrier.
>>
>>6006289
Hey, we want the government fags to burn, the glowniggers lurking her voted for that dumb shit.
>>
>>6006303
I'm an atheist but this is too based not to do. Can we also steal the Mecca Rock just for shits and giggles.
>>
>>6006308
We steal both and leave a message masquerading as jews, taunting both Muslims and christians.
>>
>>6006289
honestly i want to destroy and humiliate the commies
>>
>>6006266
It's fair, but our crew is a bit sparse. We could use a real egghead. Maybe a business person?

We SHOULD get a move on sooner than later though. Also prep earth for the possibility of a genocide mission vs it. Feds don't really know we're human yet.
>>
>>6006289
I don't want to give exclusive government access to any technology. Almost anything we share should be put in the public domain, big pharma profit margins be damned. I'm less sure how to handle nanites and antimatter because a random terrorist group being able to make grey goo would be a planet killing disaster, but I do think we should leave some sort of warning about the feds and what exactly they'd do to the planet if they find it before the species is fully prepared.
>>
>>6006313
You son of a bitch, I'm in.
>>
>>6006375
We don't need to give them nanites and the really dangerous stuff. We could dump some pretty insane shit on them as is. We have a literal cure for cancer that is considered over the counter in space. Basic bitch shit in space medicine for genetic problems and some of our more insidious illnesses is well and far beyond our Earthly knowledge. Just gotta dump a bunch of that info around and make it so it can't be monopolized. And then kill everyone who would do some backroom deals to make it into a managed economic monopoly. Fuckin' shadowy boardroom twats.
>>
>>6006303
Overwhelmingly disrespectful but too based not to do, I cast my lot in with you anon
>>
>>6006396
We're still only one planet for the time being and humanity is going to get in a confrontation with the feds sooner or later. I want to make sure team monkey has every possible advantage when that happens, and that means human scientists working to reverse engineer even the more dangerous parts of Feddie tech.
>>
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>>6006289
The problem with picking sides in Earth politics is that everyone can claim to be a victim justified in their options by either being extremely myopic or digging fast enough back in their history. However, when you boil down to it, what you think the foreigners are doing to you rarely hold a candle to what your leaders are actually doing to you, and the biggest one of which is lie. In fact, just look up the origin and purpose of the Austrian system of education, then see which system your country uses right now.
With the Chinese, it's not like they don't know what their government does, but like the people in the states they know to keep their head down and mind their own business, lest a couple of friendly neighborhood officers/bobbies/mounties do by your house for some iced tea. Of course, they'd still prefer their own governments, we've all been raised for birth by our governments to do so, and also, "the devil you know...".
At least with most governments they don't have to wonder whether their government is trying to genocide them.

>>6006087
>Back on the ship, though, you've just finished your call with Miller, who confirmed a few things.
Surely the CIA wouldn't lie to us...
>>
>>6006416
...
...
Sigh.
I relent. Perhaps the only way to win isnot play.
>>
>>6006367
>Maybe a business person?
nah, because those ALWAYS think in terms of "the line must go up", which isn't a bad thing in small dosis, but right now we need engineers, priests, psychiatrists and diplomats; you know people that have the skills a murderhobo like david doesn't have
>>
>>6006416
>Austrian
My bad, it should be "Prussian". The Prussian System of education.
Phone posting a shit, I guess

Seriously, do look it up though. It's arguably as great of a betrayal as the creation of the Federal Reserve was.
>>
>>6006087
I say we stay or can we build a Quantum entanglement communicator and manage earth from a far.
>>
>>6006526
Quantum entanglement does not allow for the propagation of information beyond the speed of light. The entangled response is limited by space/time.

We'd have to have a worm hole or some other "tight beam" to make it work.
>>
>>6006534
the ayys have FTL comms. we just need to get one of those here, BUT i doubt its usefulness; earth is a political dump that shouldn't have access to open space. we're better handpicking whoever is worthy for the uplift
>>
>>6006538
I then say we pick a group to rule over earth if we can't find one we make one
>>
>>6006582
Or. Ooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrr...
We forget about this bullshit and go our own way like we were planning to.
>>
>>6006582
yeah, no. thats retarded, retarded.
>>
>>6006582
too far brother
>>
Thinking about how to fuck with various people around the world, we could draw a picture of Mohammad in the sky above Mecca or something. They hate that shit. Maybe steal some cultural artifacts. Magna Carta, Crown Jewels, Linear B tablets, one of the busts of a Roman emperor (preferably Aurelian's) Gautama's hair, the mortal remains of one of the Romanovs, Kim Jong Un's haircut, the entire Terracotta Army including the horses, any number of Japan's famous swords. There's a lot of neat stuff out there. Send a bunch of drones with speakers over Vietnam blaring 60's music. Blasting a ton of new wells in Africa fuck you, Nestle. Leave a note on a brick at the top of Everest when no one is looking.

Go to the moon and draw a huge dick on it, with the landing site of Apollo 11 right at the tip. I am very childish. I just want to do something simply for the fun of it before we go back to deep space.
>>
Okay, hows about we steal sperm and eggs from sperm and egg banks so we can remake humanity on another planet if shit really goes sideways? I mean we'll have to do a little hygiene but that'll just save us space.
>>
>>6006758
Just clone the crew, have an entire colony that's just copies of everyone.
>>
>>6006758
that's....actually doable. im not sure about the long term ramifications of recreating humanity in a place that isn't earth and that would have to be raised by an AI, but at least the first part is perfectly doable
>>
>>6006367
>Feds don't really know we're human yet
?????????
>>
>>6006971
Feds and greys know about earth, and they know we exist.

I don't think the greys/feds have actually fully connected us to Earth. When that happens, they might asteroid nuke the planet.
>>
>>6006971
Space feds, not glowie feds
>>
>>6006758
>Red, Pickles... how do you feel about having kids?
>that ain't how gays work Gunny.
>I'm thinking a couple million to start.
>Gunny please.

And this is how the Nordic space race of aliens became a reality.
>>
>>6007014
>nordic
>david is from alabama, while redbone and pickle might have come from the woods
>nordic
lol. lmao even
>>
>>6007014
>>6007018
If by Nordic you mean acting like Space Vikings then yeah.
>>
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>>6006087

So now, you're left with the question of what to do with these guys.
You don't exactly want a bunch of chinese 'loyalists' hanging around your ship, nor taking up space in your cryo-pods.

And despite all your fantasizing about dropping rocks on China, you don't actually want to go around committing completely needless murders.
These losers aren't really a threat to anyone right now. You're certain they don't know much beyond what they've already told you, and you have no real use for them.

So in the end, in the midst of all the cyber-chaos SHODAN was causing, you flew in low and dropped them in the middle of Taiwan.
Whether they get shipped back to China and executed for failing in their duties or whatever, it's no longer your problem.

And while you're in Taiwan, you stop to pick up some excellent street food from a few higher-end reputable places.

All for the fab, naturally. And you're careful to remove ever last trace of heavy metal or any other toxins in the blueprint.

One thing you never really considered since getting back to earth, is that with your translator implant, you can understand just about anyone.
Of course, you still need to use your holowatch to respond since they don't have an implant of their own, but you can at least understand them thanks to SHODAN feeding your implant data.

It kind of makes you want to travel around the world a bit and collect more foods, especially since your diet has been so limited the past few years.

...Actually, there are a couple of things you kind of want to do before heading back into space.

...

"Wow, what a sight." You utter, looking off into the distance.

"It's absolutely freezing up here, David. Will you please come back inside?" Cylia begs, shivering down to her bones.

"Hold on, Cyl. We have to get the perfect picture, here."

Red fiddles with the camera a bit, getting both you and the American flag you're holding onto into frame just right, with the sunrise in the background and everything.
Neither of you have oxygen masks on, which is incredible considering where exactly you're standing. Cylia has hers on, of course.

"David, you don't have a shirt on! The thermometer is reading negative twenty five!"

"Celsius or freedom?" You ask.

"It doesn't matter at that point!" She yells.

"Hold on, hold on.... got it!" Red declares.

"Sweet, let's see it!" You grin.

You take a look at the photo, and it's pretty amazing. Yeah, that's one for the album.

"Oh yeah, that's good stuff." You declare, handing the polaroid back to Red before piling up more rocks around the flag to keep it from going anywhere.

"Alright, now we can go." You nod as the ship approaches.

"Finally!"

...

Once back inside, you rub your hands together to warm them up and sit down next to Red in the mess, while Cylia grabs you a hot cup of coffee.

"So where do you want to go next?" Red asks. "Germany? Get some sausages or something?"

"Ah, nah... honestly, we should probably get going." You admit.
>>
>>6007036

You've only been back on earth a few days, but it's already become a major pain in the ass.
And honestly? You've got your boys, you got your family, what else do you need?

Home is where the heart is, and you know that all too well.

>Head back out into space, you still have a lot of shit you want to do out there.
>Stay here on earth and finish some business. (Write-In)
>Write-In?
>>
>>6007038
>Stay here on earth and finish some business. (Write-In)
SHODAN's had plenty of time to gather every last bit of dirt on every corrupt official for every government. Air the laundry everywhere all at once.
Then leave.
>>
>>6007038
>Stay here on earth and finish some business. (Write-In)
>Air out as much dirty laundry as SHODAN was able to collect. You may never get the chance again after all.
How long is the projected return trip back to the station?
>>
>>6007060
About two days.
>>
>>6007036
kek, based. Merica
>>
>>6007038
>Head back out into space, you still have a lot of shit you want to do out there.
as much as i'd like to throw out everyone's dirty laundry to the world, that will fuck over the few friends we left on earth, so i don't think its a good idea to do it
>>
>>6007038
>Head back out into space, you still have a lot of shit you want to do out there.
>>
>>6007038
>Stay here on earth and finish some business. (Write-In)

We really should bring along a few possible recruits.

Pick up more foods and things to analyze

MAYBE spread some technology to the web.
>>
We will still need to get in touch and feed that huge space monster. Remember, the one who agreed to work for us in exchange for energy.
>>
>>6007038
>Stay here on earth and finish some business. (Write-In)
Recruit people. Engineers. Scientists. Logistics guys. Submariners. Material science nerds. Pay them in gold. Build us cool things, man our warships.
>>
>>6007141
What, are we just gonna keep doing constant back and forth trips and pray we don't accidentally pick up an undercover plant?
>>
>>6007051
I thought about it a bit, and I actually want to add an addendum of things to do BEFORE this.
>Disseminate cheap and easily reproducible antipollution technology on the internet. Radiation scrubbers, greenhouse gas converters, toxin filters. Throw in the recipe for some of those spacer antivirals and antibiotics too, just to stick a wrench in biological warfare.

Because if we do end up causing a superwar, well, cleanup should be possible.
>>
>>6007038
>>6007060 +1
>Stay here on earth and finish some business. (Write-In)
>Air out as much dirty laundry as SHODAN was able to collect. You may never get the chance again after all.
>Also destroy the assets of every multi millionaire with dirt on them. Criminal organizations included if possible.
>Change property ownership, move money to untraceable accounts, burn it if necessary, etc. Just impossible to recover.
>Dump on the free space of computers and the internet technology blueprints/manuals/procedures that can boost humanity slightly like food printers, medicine compounds to actually cure people, better batteries, efficient solar panels, wind turbines and high quality resistant fabrics. Shit like that.

SHODAN has access to any if not all digital devices, it should be possible even if it takes a few weeks and it also gives time for David to scan more food
>>
I just hope we make it impossible for the Jews to be Jewing people anymore by fucking up big pharma, corrupt systems/government, crime syndicates, patents, etc.
>>
>>6007160
as if. the only thing a super war will create is a huge rise in pharma, weapons and other supply chains in demand. the only ones who will end up losing will be the normal citizens
>>
>>6007038
>>Head back out into space, you still have a lot of shit you want to do out there.
reeeee
>>
>>6007141
Where where you when we voted for this?
>>
>>6007038
Can the large scale nano printer scan the medical-grade nano printer to make more of those?
Sell those to hospitals for drug production? Sanig knows his way around printers and might know more.

>>6007141
Support. I'm sure we discussed getting some former submariners at some point.
>>
>>6007038
>Hit up the boys at the garage, see if they wanna go into space.
>>
>>6007036
>Stay here on earth and finish some business. (Write-In)
>Air out as much dirty laundry as SHODAN was able to collect. You may never get the chance again after all.
>>
>>6007038
>Head back out into space, you still have a lot of shit you want to do out there.

>>Write-In?
Pick up a copy of system shock and system shock 2 for SHODAN to play.
>>
>>6007038
>Stay here on earth and finish some business. (Write-In)
Last thing we gotta do is warn Earth about space fed. Either just the govs or the masses, they need to know about the bullshit happening outside our space boonies

and if we want more non influenced personnel, now's the time to scoop some up while SHODAN has access to everything
>>6007096
>>6007141
>>
>>6007345
>put fake job on job bulletin boards
>put more fake jobs on craigslist/equivalents

>just grab 10 random people
???
PROFIT
>>
>>6007038
>Stay here on earth and finish some business. (Write-In)
Figure out a way to distribute some spacer tech in a way that can't be controlled by the powers that be. Call Miller and tell him we'll be back, along with giving him recordings from Xebric and telling him exactly what the space feddies are going to do to humanity if they find us before we're ready to fend them off. Establish a signal we'll use to announce our presence when we come back.
>>
>>6007038
>Stay here on earth and finish some business. (Write-In)

Need to warn the CIA about the space feds and establish a code for LIGO so they know when it is us.

Giving humanity enough tech to colonize the solar system would make us a lot harder to kill. Earth could nuke itself but we have people on Mars, Space Feds would have to check every rock instead of just destroying the Earth.

Maybe trade all this info for an egghead engineer that can help us reverse engineer stuff like nano-fabs

Also, bring the crew for ice cream if we haven't stuck it in the fabricator

Bring Cylia on a fishing trip.
>>
>>6007157
>>Stay here on earth and finish some business. Steal sperm and eggs to create an Ark of Humanity.
>>
>>6007580
We don't want a glowies scientist and I don't want to give the feds exclusive access to any of the tech.
>>
>>6007580
"Maybe trade this info" no one in earth is in position to make demands and no governing body is deserving of what we have. And indeed, "trading" for a scientist is asking for a saboteur.
Años
Anons have never been given any role that matters it seems. If anyone wants to help the earth, threaten it. Either use SHODAN AI threat or outright broadcast am ultimatum everywhere at once "fix your shit or i am craking this planet right in two" Give humanity a common enemy, see it flourish. Be brutal, be a tyrant.
But the quest is about cool stuff not a civ
>>
The only reason we should stay in earth a bit longer is to marry cylia, not to accomplish any self indulgent, masturbatory idea involving "saving earth", because god, the ideas proposed so far are beyond retarded and will accomplish the things you ideally want to prevent
>>
One other thing we should do before leaving is ask SHODAN to scou the Internet for any information about the tree of life. We still don't know why ancient humans were using a symbol that's used to shackle AIs.
>>
>>6007036

"You sure? Feels kind of sudden, don't it?" Red asks.

"I guess. I just got this nagging feeling in the back of my head, you know. It's probably nothing."

"Come on, man. You been gone for a few years, you can't stay two weeks? Let's live it up a little, chinks and ruskies be damned!"

Yeah, you guess he's right. It wouldn't hurt to stay just a little bit longer.

...

.....

...

You spend most of the next week or so putting out feelers all across the internet. With SHODAN's help, it's not hard.
You send tens of thousands of emails to people's private, work and university addresses, including those that shouldn't be public.

With plenty of proof of alien life included, despite how ridiculous it all seems, you still get a few bites on the end of your hook.

Scientists, doctors, military men and engineers... you can't say they're lining up at your doorstep exactly, but there's at least a couple hundred to choose from.
It should only take about two days to reach Xebric from earth at near-maximum warp, a far cry from the long weeks you spent searching for earth.

If you assume that you, your crew, your mother and sister, as well as Pickle and Redbone all remain active during the trip, you could fit ten, maybe even fifteen people in the cryopods if you really crammed them in there.
Assuming everyone's a reasonable weight, that is. Not every professor is in the best shape.

You end up picking about ten people, and after wiring a substantial sum directly into their bank accounts as both proof that you're not fucking around, and as collateral for a possibly suicidal mission into deep space, they agree to meet up.
The meeting point ends up being a walmart parking lot in Huntsville, Alabama. With the funds you gave them, not a single man had any trouble affording a first class plane ticket to meet you.

And at the same time, you also visited a few acquaintances of yours, including the guys back at the auto shop. However, only one of them, a man named Martinez, agrees to come with you.

Besides him, everyone else shows up around the allotted time, to a space ship in a parking lot with an advertisement banner draped over the side of it.
The manager at this place did complain to you and ask the ship to be removed, but was very easily paid off.

What was supposed to be a quick tour around the ship ends up taking a whole day as several of the scientists and engineers are enthralled by your nanofabs.
One man, an ex-submariner on a nuclear submarine, is also interested in the ship's weapon systems, particularly the autocannon you bolted onto the ship.

After they've all calmed down though, you manage to explain your space issues and that the carrier is currently being built to resolve the problem.
It does take a display of the cryopod's capabilities on yourself before a single one of them is willing to enter it, but after a while you manage to convince them all to squeeze in.

They'll wake up on the other side of the galaxy.
>>
>>6008453
the monkeys are officially in space

>>6008249
I forgot about that. she probably looked into it a bit since she knew about it from us
>>
>>6008453
>not a single woman

desu, who knows if any bit. Humanity in space gotta start somewhere
>>
>>6008683
We've got our sister, but I'm half expecting to walk in on her and Gildur at some point.
>>
>>6008683
Don't forget David's mom either
>>
>>6007036
>street food from a few higher-end reputable places.
You're doing it wrong! The trick is to go to the grungiest place that still has a long line.

>>6008453
>It's probably nothing.
Oh boy...

>>6008699
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4
>>
>>6008699
Especially after the medications for everything fix everything. Asthma begone, blood circulation issues begone. People who would otherwise be bedridden can finally be limber and move their muscles and build muscle tone in the way mother nature always intended.

>>6008453
It's happening.tga.gif.png
>>
>>6008854
>build muscle tone in the way mother nature always intended
That's tight
>>
>>6008453
We're still going to leak everything before we leave right?
>>
>>6008453

With that, you consider your main goal in returning to earth mostly accomplished.

A crate full of high-density storage drives has been steadily piling up in the cargo bay for the past week, with SHODAN collecting every possible scrap of useful information. All's good on that front.
Your ship is fully stocked... no, it's honestly overstocked. You even have compressed food bars in case you lose power or something unexpected happens. You could leave at any time.

But you haven't had much of a chance to relax.

Besides a BBQ with the boys that had to be wrapped up prematurely, that is.
...And getting blackout drunk on toilet hooch. But you figure if you can't remember it, it don't count.

So you end up taking everyone on a hunting and fishing trip in a nice area out in madison county.
Getting your mother on and off the ship without explaining anything was gonna be a pain, so you had to work around her a bit.

Spacertech meds, a general anesthetic that's short-lived and highly effective, with no side effects.
One minute she's having breakfest, the next she wakes up from a nice little nap on a lounger in the campground.

She did seem confused at first, but after you put a frosty beer in her hand and a toasted bacon sandwich on her lap, she quickly decided she didn't care.

Of course, you're still worried about chinese 'assassins' or whatever else may come to interrupt the party, which is why the ship's new security measures are in play.

SHODAN has been busy managing earth's data near constantly, to the point where her focus isn't always on you or the ship.
So the solution, as usual, is to simply offload that task onto a VI. Or several, in this case.

Combining earth's drone tech with spacertech batteries and the best materials you can think up, Kyla, SHODAN and yourself created what is effectively a swarm of racing drones.
Their sole purpose is to zip around the forest at high speeds and keep an eye out for anything that doesn't belong, or may pose a threat. Their batteries last quite a long time, all things considered, and they recharge themselves.

And thanks to their overwatch, you're able to enjoy a nice, peaceful day fishing on the river with Cylia.
You asked Kyla to join, but she wasn't at all interested and spent most of the day on her holopad, researching this or that.

Cylia though, she really seemed to enjoy being near the water, and even playing in it a bit. Odd for a cat, you know.

When you asked her why that was though, she responded with something you didn't quite expect.

"It's because there's no water on Katshee. The whole planet is basically just a desert." She explains.

"What, you don't have a single river or lake?"

"...There are brine pools here and there. Places where there used to be freshwater springs. But besides the oceans, no. I had never actually seen free-flowing fresh water like this until i came to earth."

Cylia puts on a sad smile as she kicks at the water with her foot.
>>
>>6008954
We must rescue cat race and bring them home
>>
>>6008958
Damn, was there some sort of disaster there?
>>
>>6009003
....did you not read the part about Desert hellscape, or are you new and also not hear about the FEDs likely instigating civil wars to purge the population?
>>
>>6008954
>introduce our mushroom gf to the fungus of earth.

Especially the one that kills ants and zombiefies them.
>>
>>6009104
Ehhhhhhhhhh...not the greatest idea. It may not seem like it, but fungi can get kinda "territorial", for lack of a better term.
Who knows how exposure to foreign spores might affect her.
>>
>>6008954
lel it was fun seeing all the memes being made about the movies about my favorite book, especially when I was the only Dune nerd back in high school years ago. Thanks grandpa for telling me to read it
>>
>>6009143
OG Dune is pretty good, but Bene Gesseritt space witches and their millennia-long eugenics/mustard race got tiresome. Then it got worse with the God emperor's dick, more worse Bashar who could travel close to light speed to fix a ship in combat singlehandedly, even more worse in prequels with Serena Butler's cult and the spacer guild Oracle midget-witch.
The political intrigue, spice and the immortal AI are probably the only parts that make me want to reread it to this day.

If you like thought-provoking books with memes, I strongly recommend reading Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. It's probably the cruelest mainstream comedy about bureacracy and worth it.
>>
>>6009182
... the what!? immortal AI what is that i never came up with it while browsing through a wiki... or is it about the stuff the writers son wrote
>>
>>6009104
dude, this is a death world to them; anything that grows here is hyperaggressive to their organisms and like the other anon said, fungi can get territorial. worst case scenario she dies or gets zombified or transformed in ways we don't expect or understand, and while i wouldn't mind her dying because she's our head engineer, its still a dick move
>>
>>6008954
We gotta drag Sanig along on a deer hunt to test out our new gyrojets. Like I said before, blasting deathworld critters with experimental weapons sounds right up his alley.
>>
>>6009246
hunt hogs. Help the enviroment
>>
>>6009248
Start him off with a deer or two, no need to give the old man a heart attack.
>>
>>6009235
I don't mean actually interact with any. Definitely don't want to kill her. But idk maybe her absorbing penicillin would be good. Or her being able to do the zombie ant thing to others. That would be Hella scary. Hey baby go stand next to their air system and dump zombie spores. Wow we killed all the space feds in this space base. Thanks. I didn't feel like door clearing 87,000 doors in this place. Or whatever that fungus is they recently found that gives all plants life. I forget what it's called but I'll Google the name if an a anon wants it. I don't really know how her biology works. It'd be cool to have her be able to produce antibiotics on demand or some warfare capabilities if she could.
>>
>>6009564
I think antibiotics will kill the aliens directly instead of working like in humans.
When in doubt keep her safe in the ship, even if the dna repairing medications would probably fix anything short of cerebral death.
>>
>>6009564
Decontamination of earth stuff needs to be a priority. If I remember right cordyceps can't survive in humans because we run so hot body temp wise. Dont most aliens run a little cooler?
>>
>>6009597
Don't forget most of the other pathogens and parasites Humans shrug off would probably kill most aliens as well. I'd rather not accidentally pull a War of the Worlds on our allies.
>>
>>6009590
Not even that, antibiotics in people can kill them too. Just takes a path you wouldn't expect. If you clear out all the gut bacteria a person would starve to death. Or vomit profusely. Or both. But for ayyyys who don't even have robust bodies built to rock and roll, yeah it probably would just send them into shock. Depending on the specific method by which it works and the side effects of the particular blend.

As for that guys idea of exposing Kyla to potentially harmful fungi and their products. I think he's silly. Fungus doesn't necessarily play nice with itself. If you ain't from the same mycelium these streets ain't made for you cuh. And slime molds and shit are another bag entirely.
>>
>>6009632
>Kyla steps out into the backwoods to go tell David about something
>walks by a random mushroom
>"AYO WHERE YOU FROM SHAWTY?"
Also I wonder how she feels about how common mushrooms are in human cuisine.
>>
>>6009637
Well...how often does David eat her out like his favorite meal when she is getting a protein shake from his dick?
>>
>>6009637
I'm more curious as to whether her kind are grown from huge mycelial beds like fruiting fungi on Earth are. If they aren't she might be shocked to learn that them little tendrils under the ground can be fucking MASSIVE and all technically one organism. Also fun to note is the types of shrooms that let plants talk to each other by latching onto their roots.

>"Damn girl you walk around lettin' them spores out everywhere you go or are you tryin'a hop into my crib?"

>>6009664
Now you have the question. Does it taste like shiitake or truffles?
>>
>>6009668
>I'm more curious as to whether her kind are grown from huge mycelial beds like fruiting fungi on Earth are
from what i remember when david had kyla's STD, they grow directly from whoever is their partner
>>
>>6009675
Okay one, it wasn't an STD. Just a little bit of Athlete's balls. Nothing a little Gold Bond powder couldn't fix.
Two, yeah I'm pretty sure David had mushrooms on his willie.
>>
>>6009685
>Just a little bit of Athlete's balls.
that we got by fucking her. hence, STD
>>
>>6009752
>>6009685
STF
>>
>>6009222
The enemies from the prequels - the AI that prompted the Butlerian Jihad - resurface in the grim darkness of the far future sequels. I remember them as pretty funny characters.
>>
>>6009866
https://neoencyclopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Daniel_and_Marty
Forgot my link.
>>
>>6009675
>>6009668

They do in fact grow from mycelial beds.
Jek'na prepare them as if they were growing a garden, and the infants will gestate underground.

A single bed can produce dozens of offspring at once.

The "STD" you got was from her reproductive system trying to spread it's spores around.
Instead of taking root in a bed of soil, they gave you athlete's crotch.
>>
>>6008954

"Can't be all bad, can it? I mean, you guys made it into space, right?"

"...Only cause the greys lifted us up. Gave us the technology to pull water from the air and recycle it. We'd probably be gone already if not for them."

Ah, yeah. That's what they do, after all. The more species indebted to them, the better. That's why they go around looking for uncontacted species, like humans.
All to get in on the uplifting early, especially with things like translator chips. Imagine having a monopoly on every translator sold to humanity, possibly forever.

That's a lot of sales, and potentially a lot of leverage if you were to put a backdoor in them or something.
It makes you wonder about yours, sometimes. Of course, a standardized chip for the human race doesn't exist yet, and what you have is like a skunkworks prototype.

It's probably a lot more capable than a normal commercial product that would be planted in billions of humans.
And SHODAN makes heavy use of it, too. But it's always yours, never one of your crew's chips.

"David? You good?" Cylia asks.

"Ah, yeah. Just thinking about some stuff."

"You do that a lot, just start staring off into space like that. I always wonder what you're thinking about."

"Potential threats, usually." You sigh.

"...We have all those drones looking out for us though, don't we?"

"I didn't mean like that. I meant... in a more general sense. Greys are dangerous, you know. I don't really trust anything they'd try to sell us."

"That's probably for the best, Kid." Sanig agrees, stretching his arms and legs as he lays back in his lounge chair. "We aren't the type to do anything just out of good will. Generally speaking."

Those oversized novelty sunglasses he's wearing actually fit him. It looks ridiculous.

"Why aren't you wearing your helmet?" You ask.

"Thought i'd get some sun on my cranium. Soak up some of those... lovely rays."

["The UV index is a 3/10 today, Captain. Nevertheless, he is still wearing sunscreen."]

"It's fine, bit-brain! I can take a little radiation!"

He definitely cannot.
You aren't sure why he's doing that, but you hope he doesn't get sunburned. He's ugly enough as it is.

You feel like you'd have to try pretty hard to get sunburned in december, though.

...

You and Cylia don't catch much for fish, but she seems quite happy with the few little guys that you do.
You were planning on throwing them all back, but Cylia was insistent on cooking and eating at least one of them, which she does later that day. Bones and all.

According to her, real fish is a delicacy back on Katshee, since there aren't many facilities on the other side of the mountain range.
You'd think with the whole planet flooded, fishing would be a bigger industry... but apparently biodiversity is pretty low there, so there aren't a lot of fish even if you did go fishing for them.

You make a mental note to fry her some catfish later. All you have now is frozen stuff, but maybe one day you can take her noodling.
>>
of fuck. i just realized that the whole crew, but specially sanig and kyla would lose their shit if they manage to catch a solar and a lunar eclipse. that shit is rare, even on a galactic scale
>>
>>6009872
>>6009866
oh I know those... from what I understand it was the writer giving the books closure. After his death his son publshed another book where those two AI are the evilest of evil. Its hearsay tho...
>>
>>6010204
It doesn't hurt to check the internet.

It's not THAT rare on earth (Rare in the universe). Main issue is they're usually fleeting and not in a place that's easy to get to. In the scale of things, years aren't that crazy.
>>
>>6010194
Fuck I love Sanig and SHODAN banter.

Now I'm wondering if SHODAN or the lizard medic can arrange with scanners and their own analysis to make a schematic of the skunkworks chip. It seems to work well enough that an AI can read minds and gives a higher level of integration with tech. It would be bad to find out there was a Grey backdoor into his brain too before it's too late.

>>6010204
I imagine being in a spaceship means you can see an eclipse whenever you want by parking in space on the shady side of a planet, but seeing it in atmosphere, yeah that would be cool for them.
How many chances would they get to see the northern lights? How many planets have such a strong magnetic field doused by solar radiation?

>>6010219
Yeah, these were some of a few significant changes in understanding in the expanded Herbert/Anderson universe.
>>
>>6010668
ah, my fault, i didn't explain myself properly. yeah, on earth its super common, but in space scale, getting solar eclipses in any given planet is a rare thing

>>6010673
>How many chances would they get to see the northern lights?
id say that's way more common, but the effect would be way less dramatic than on earth, because deathworld
>>
>>6010681
>northern lights on a death world woah
Yeah...
>>
>>6010681
The rarest part is the fact its a total solar eclipse.

Either the moon is too close and totally blots the sun, or too far and doesn't cover up most of it.

Earths moon is exactly far enough to only show the suns outer atmosphere when it's covered. So perfect an alignment, we can only see the Corona of the sun.

Saw the total eclipse in April, got to see the sun flare coming off the "bottom left" of the sun.
>>
>>6010194

Later that evening, you decide to try testing out the "special" Gyrojet rifle you and your crew have been working out.
It's mostly fleshed out now, and you think you've gotten most of the kinks worked out.

There's really nothing like a nanofab for prototyping. Even big changes can be done almost in seconds.
No reason to be afraid of making mistakes, you just try it and see if it works or not.

Of course, you could probably get SHODAN to run some physics simulations and find out that way, but you already rely on her so much, and she seems quite busy with this or that lately.
There's no need to go so out of your way to avoid shooting a new rifle, right?

Naturally, you start off with an accuracy test.

"Single fire?" You ask.

Sanig nods, and you flip the switch on the side of the rifle.

Your target is a broken branch hanging from a tree, about a hundred feet away.

Taking careful aim, you pull the trigger at the end of your exhale to avoid any shaking, as if it were a long-distance shot.
You really want this to go well. You put a lot of effort into getting this gun working how you wanted, and it's making you nervous.

The 'kicker charge' goes off, producing an almost shocking amount of recoil given the weight of the rifle.
Of course, you can't see or hear it, not really anyways... but as the rocket leaves the barrel, it's wax-based solid fuel ignites and propels it to even higher speeds.

An oversized steel shell is ejected and clatters loudly to the ground at the same time as you're watching the tree branch you fired at explode.

Filled with the nastiest high explosive SHODAN could cook up, the 14mm bolter rounds this thing fires are basically just little miniature grenades.
You're not sure it would matter though, because they're estimated to fly at a maximum speed of about 4,700FPS.

Though you're not entirely sure what speed it got up to by the time it hit that branch, a round that size tends not to leave a clean hole regardless of it's speed.

It was accurate, though. Very, very accurate for what it is. Of course, having a regular barrel means it can be spin-stabilized before the rockets ever kick in, but without the aim assist of the smaller gyro rifle, they're all just set to spin.
So it's already spinning fast as it leaves the barrel, and then it spins WAY faster as it flies. The rotational force alone is probably enough to shatter the round on impact and send fragments flying, even without the explosive charge.

"Holy shit, that was loud!" Sanig exclaims. "You alright, kid?"

You grin as the broken branch begins falling from the tree and finally hits the ground.

"Yeah. She kicks like a mule though, no way an alien could use this thing without armor or a powered exoskeleton."

You turn the rifle over in your hands and examine it with a newfound understanding.
Even for you, the best you can manage with this thing is a three-round burst. Full auto would knock your ass over or send the rifle flying out of your hands.
>>
>>6011599
welp, this is definitely not something we can use against normal people. which is fantastic, actually; we finally have something that can reliably punch holes into most of the federation's bots and cyborgs, maybe even medium mechanized units as well
>>
>>6011599
Give Redbone a go at the gun. I think that madlad will appreciate the point'n'shooty.
>>
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>>6011599
So when is David ditching his 1911 for the gyrojet recreation of pic related?
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>>6011672
>ditching the 1911
When his dick falls off, I guess.
>>
>>6011672
nah, its time fir a david cusrtom, a motherfucking GYROJET REVOLVER CAMBERED IN 11.4(or whatever the fuck is the round's size)
>>
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>>6011684
You make a compelling argument my friend.
>>
>>6011599

Naturally, you can't go without testing the regular gyro-rifle, too.

This one's fitted with the auto-aim mechanism, and a rudimentary VI controller that hasn't quite been tuned yet.
But even as basic as it is, SHODAN claims 98% accuracy on shots missed by less than 10 degrees in her simulations.

Which is very high, and for a very wide range.

The VI isn't yet capable of designating non-humanoid targets, but it's possible to set a target manually using a button on the trigger assembly.
You aim for a small stone that you've placed atop a boulder. After locking it as a target, you intentionally aim away from the stone by a few degrees and pull the trigger.

There's a big rush of air and a loud hiss as the rocket fires and flings itself at the target, but you feel practically no recoil at all.
No, maybe it's just that the gun shook a bit? That may have been the hammer striking, you're not really sure.

Regardless of the recoil or lack thereof, the results are clear. One moment the stone is there, and the next it's been shattered into tiny little fragments.
The crack of the rocket striking it's target and exploding is definitely much louder than actually firing the thing, at least out of this rifle.

"Not bad at all." Sanig grins. "Gonna try it with the aim assist next?"

"That was the aim assist." You inform him. "I intentionally aimed away from the target, and it hit."

"Really now? Bit-brain claimed it wasn't ready yet, last time i spoke to her."

"98% accurate as of today."

Sanig spits.

"Cheating, that's all it is. Too good for the masses, wasted in their hands..." He grumbles.

"Well, i'm not worried about the masses. This is going to be standard issue on the carrier... so it is good enough to protect your ass?"

"Maybe it will be. Eventually." He nods, placing his hands on his hips and watching the cloud of stone dust drift off into the distance.

...You gotta try it. Aiming for a tree, you flick the aim assist off and unload the whole mag into the trunk. It's amazing how easy it is to keep it dead center.
It's a little hard to tell with how fast it happens, but the rockets themselves probably aren't doing all that much damage to the tree. It's solid wood, after all.

But what they are doing is burying themselves deep inside the wood before exploding, and that's blowing absolute massive chunks out of the damned thing.

By the time you're dry, the tree trunk, which was a good three feet around at least, has been sawed nearly halfway through.
Actually, you can see daylight through the center of the hole now that the smoke is starting to clear.

It's a small hole, but it has in fact made it through to the other side.

"Hey now, those are the wax propellant rounds. Go easy on them, would you?"

"Why?" You ask.

"Because, they have to be printed in the chemical fab. We can't just mix it up in a bucket like you do with your gunpowder, you ape."

"Whatever, it's all prototype shit anyways." You huff, shouldering your rifle.
>>
>>6012430
Its good to have a bolter....GW is fucking up at this point in time, if we post this online, we could get them to sign up to anything.
>>
>>6012430
I sometimes forget why Sanig never really fit in with the dominant Gray castes. Guy's too much of an artist, for better or worse.
>>
>>6012561
Yeah... too much love in those old bones and that cyber heart
>>
>>6012430

You end up burning through every last bit of ammo your crew had printed so far.
Shooting this thing is just too much damn fun for your own good.

But this does bring certain issues to light.

The wax fuel is absolutely perfect as an end product. But due to it's chemical complexity, it can only be produced on a chemical fab.
Even the weapons fab would produce something out of spec, even if it's not by much... nevermind a mass-fabricator like those used for shipbuilding, which may not be able to handle it at all.

In the end, wax propellant may just be something that you and your core crew use, while the rest are stuck with plain old gunpowder rounds.

They'll still work fine even when using gunpowder, but they'll be slower in general and have a shorter burn duration.
Gunpowder though, it's simple enough of a propellant to be mixed by hand and made uniform with any fab out there, or even just a thorough enough manual manufacturing process.

...It won't matter in 99% of cases anyways. This is just how things go.

So what, the wax rounds will be marked with a W and the gunpowder with a G?
Geeze, so this is how you get all these different types of ammo that are barely different.

14mm Bolter rounds. 14mm Super-Gyro. You'll probably have a 9mm Gyro round for pistols, too.
There's also been talks of a larger Bolter round, meant for a high-caliber weapon exclusively for heavy power armor users.

And of course, that led into talks about 25mm gyrojet grenades, and a fully-automatic belt-fed grenade launcher with a back-mounted ammo box.

Sure, slap it on everything, why not?
Throwing everything against the wall and seeing what sticks is a tried and true human tradition, ain't it?

Scaling is easy when you're developing shit for nanofab production.

...

.....

...

You spend another half a week relaxing with your crew, flying around the world and collecting authentic local cuisine to be printed out later.
A lot of that time is actually spent in the workshop though, hanging out with Kyla and Sanig who, somewhat unusually, are spending a lot of time working together on these gyrojet guns.

It seems the engineering and weapons departments get along pretty well when it interests them both.

At some point during all of this, you notice something in Kyla's workspace that wasn't there before.
A little red mushroom, sitting in a glazed pot.

"...Fly amanita?" You ask, almost questioning what you're seeing.

"Oh, is that what it's called?" Kyla asks, perking up as she notices what you're staring at.

"Yeah. Why is it here, though?"

"Oh, i picked it up in uh... what was it called? Brazil? The place with those pastel thingies."

"Why though?"

Kyla pauses and thinks for a moment.

"Hmm. You know, i'm not really sure? It just kind of... i dunno, it called out to me, in a way."

"What, because you're both mushrooms?"

"Maybe!" She grins.

"...Alright, i know you're technically a mushroom, but that's like saying humans and zooplankton are both animals."
>>
>>6013222
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-nIBA0V_No
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>>6013222
>"Hmm. You know, i'm not really sure? It just kind of... i dunno, it called out to me, in a way."
>cut to a few weeks in the future and the mushroom and kyla have merged into one
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>>6013350
>>cut to a few weeks in the future and the mushroom and kyla have merged into one
The horror. The horror.
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>>6013222
SHE MUST NEVER LEARN ABOUT KORTECYPTS!
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>>6013542
What about psilocybin?
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>>6013542
>>6014155
She must never know.
>>
>>6013222
This mushroom is the equivalent of a pet monkey.
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>>6013222

"Well then, i guess that would make it my pet, huh?"

Kyla reaches over and gently gives the mushroom a pat.

"...Hey uh, are you good touching that thing barehanded? I mean, i don't think it would really bother a human, but... that thing's kinda toxic."

"Oh, yeah! Of course, i did some research first. Earth is a death world, after all. But the toxins in this mushroom don't seem to have any negative effects on a Jek'na.
Actually, that seems to be the case for most of earth's mushrooms. Even the really deadly ones!"

"And how did we reach this conclusion?" You question.

"Because, hon, unlike you, some species actually have medical data available. Take any chemical and you can plug it into a program that determines whether it'll be harmful or not.
All i had to do was throw a sample into the fab, get a breakdown of it's chemical makeup and throw all that into the medbay computer. Don't even need a doctor!"

"Wait, so is that...?"

"Yep, it's a print of the original mushroom. Unlike animals, plants and mushrooms aren't too big or complex, so they usually don't die after printing... usually."

...You know, you didn't really consider that before. You could print out not just dry seeds, but actual seedlings like that.
Of course, you've already been printing whole vegetables and shit, but you don't need those to actually be alive at the end.

Sanig told you horror stories about trying to print living animals on a fab before.
Anything from what effectively amounts to stillbirth, to rapidly congealing into a pulsating mass of unrecognizable tumors.

And the larger and more complex the animal, the more likely you are to have issues.
Something like a mouse, maybe it could work half the time. Anything past the size of a housecat, you're going to be at it for a long while.

You guess it's the same for plants. Some have more complex genomes than others, but generally speaking, there's less to go wrong.
And if it's just a seed, you could probably get away with printing it on the wrong kind of fab, like the weapons fab.

There'd still be a high chance of mutation, but at the very least most of the seedlings should sprout.

And if it's the chemical fab, well... it's smaller and prints pretty slowly, but it's very accurate.
For animals, that's bad. You want the print over in under a couple of minutes, in order to avoid tissue damage. But a plant could survive it no problem.

"Credit for your thoughts?" Kyla asks, not actually looking up from the little device she's fiddling with.

"Ah, you know. I was just thinking, these fabs could make terraforming and food production really easy on a colony or something. Just printing seeds and stuff, you know?"

"Yep. That's how they get the seeds for a station's hydroponics wing, you know? Most of those plants are actually sterile and don't go to seed, they just print the starter."

Oh, wow. You didn't know that.
...Yeah, probably a good thing that your carrier will have multiple fabs, then.
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>>6014234
>And if it's just a seed, you could probably get away with printing it on the wrong kind of fab, like the weapons fab.
Gatfruit when
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>>6014234

A few days later, you find yourself standing on the cargo ramp of your ship, sipping coffee and watching the sun rise.

You think you're in Sri Lanka right now, maybe Cambodia. You don't really remember, you got pretty drunk last night.
Beautiful place, nonetheless.

Yesterday, SHODAN informed you that the quiet invasion of America was ramping up.
Where a couple thousand Chinese 'immigrants' were flooding into south america every day, that number is now in the tens of thousands.

So, they've likely committed to a land invasion.

However, there's no visible movement on Russia's side, which is odd.
They've been massing troops along their own coast, just across the pond from Alaska, for obvious reasons. But nothing's really changed with them.

Instead, this morning, you hear that China seems to be pulling out of Taiwan, which has been on the defensive for some time now.
Korea and Japan, along with other allied nations will probably move to fill that gap quickly, retaking whatever land may have been lost and then some.

So they're not just committed, they're focused on it. Even if it means giving up progress on something like that.

"What do you think, SHODAN?" You ask, taking a sip of coffee.

["From the communications i have intercepted, it appears that the Russian army is lacking in equipment after enduring an extended proxy war with America.
They have not amassed further because they lack the equipment to do so. Even basic equipment, such as functioning rifles and uniforms."]


...So it's not that they wouldn't but they couldn't.

"And how are we doing?"

["We are just fine, Captain. Dark matter reserves are somewhat low, but more than enough to make a return trip."]

"You know what i mean."

["America has also depleted many of it's munition supplies, and currently lacks the ability to produce more at a sufficient rate. However, the country is beginning to shift into a war economy."]

"Oil reserves?"

["More than sufficient to sustain the machine, assuming Alaska remains unconquered."]

"Yeah." You sigh.

See, this is the problem. You don't necessarily see a chinorussia winning this, but how are they gonna react when they lose? That's the real problem.

"...Is there any way we can ensure this doesn't end in nuclear armageddon?"

["I am afraid not, Captain. Many of the old launch sites still use ancient analog computers with manual firing mechanisms. It is not possible for me to shut them down."]

"And the facilities are EMP hardened, of course." You grumble.

["Producing a sufficient EMP blast would be impossible without the use of nuclear weapons in the first place, Captain."]

"Yeah, yeah. I know. All it would do is fry shit we actually need, anyways."

It sucks, it's a shitty situation. You just have to hope that some asshole doesn't decide to flip the table on you.
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>>6015267

"How much data do you have on their operations? China and Russia both."

["Quite a bit, Captain. Even if i were not quantum-capable, their security is somewhat lacking."]

"Alright."

>Release it all to the US government. Give 'em everything and let them handle it however they want, but otherwise, we're gonna stay out of this.
>Release it all, and then let them know we're going to take down their tech infrastructure again. Permanently this time.
>Maybe it's better if we don't stick our nose into all this mess. It's about time we head back off into space.
>Write-In?
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>>6015270
>Release it all, and then let them know we're going to take down their tech infrastructure again. Permanently this time.
>>
>>6015270
>Release it all, and then let them know we're going to take down their tech infrastructure again. Permanently this time.
>>
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>>6015270
>>6015270
>>Release it all, and then let them know we're going to take down their tech infrastructure again. Permanently this time.
>>
>>6015270
>Release it all, and then let them know we're going to take down their tech infrastructure again. Permanently this time.
Commies line up or else, Jews line up or else, yada yada, yada yada
>>
>>6015270
Tbh, now might be the time to make a note to the governments of the world they need to prep for an alien invasion in case we mess up.

If everyone plays nice for the next decade, they'll get functional grey immortality as a treat.

When we don't give it in a decade, we call them all whiny babies
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>>6015270
>Release it all, and then let them know we're going to take down their tech infrastructure again. Permanently this time.
>>
>>6015270
>>Release it all, and then let them know we're going to take down their tech infrastructure again. Permanently this time.
>>
>>6015270
>>Release it all to the US government. Give 'em everything and let them handle it however they want, but otherwise, we're gonna stay out of this.
Release it to the CIA in particular, as a token of our love for our country. They may have different views on what it means to do good for the country, but they do give a fuck. They'll take the token for what it is intended to be and it might even open up paths towards a weird cooperation even if we'll never see eye to eye on the specifics.

Don't release it to the entire US Gov, let the CIA make that call.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0fFNX8qVLY
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>>6015270
>Release it all, and then let them know we're going to take down their tech infrastructure again. Permanently this time.
welp, this won't end well, i can feel it.
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>>6015472
Fuck no, the jews run the CIA, unfiltered for everyone so those in the path of the replacement invasion plan can act independently.
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>>6015512
they dont actually
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>>6015472
Ex-CIA with a voice and opinions are not Ex.
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>>6015472
>unironically wanting pax americana
fuck no, that would fucking suck. i for one like water pipes that don't contain lead and affordable healthcare
>>
y'all need to leave your echo chambers from time to time holy shit
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>>6015568
My guy you are shilling for a dude that all but said "Americans don't know what they want, but the CIA does.". Fuck off and glow somewhere else.
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>>6015270
>Release it all, and then let them know we're going to take down their tech infrastructure again. Permanently this time.
This is the closest option for "common enemy against humanity" there is so i will take it.
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>>6015472
Is this unironically, a glowie? Back to pol with you
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>>6015270
>>Release it all
>>
>>6015569
You seem like you equate the recognition of the fact that the CIA is doing what it believes to be right for America, even if what they believe is based on an incorrect value hierarchy and clouded by pride and hubris, which it is, to the condonement and approval of everything they do. My brother in Christ, there are a million laye