OH SHIT NIGGA. The world's gonna end or some shit! Time to go help the inexperienced hero to save it!
>>5983227Are we paid to do it or is it like a charity work?
>>5983227Damn our hero looks like a generic dude
>>5983227Are we the waifu?
>>5983238Well i think it'd depend on your character class and backstory, I suppose. Plus, if the world ends then there wouldn't be anybody to even pay you anyway.
>>5983242I dunno, what if we signed up with the bad guys instead?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5983242It really depends on how the world will end, while meteor won't be able to pay us maybe an eldrich god be bale to offer us a reward and double cross us at around the mid point? Like late-mid-point or early-finale
>>5983247Damnit anon, don't think about it too hard. You're making the game skip to character creation so I can't shitpost
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5983253Scratch the disk by moving the console!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5983253Alright, lets get to the character creation, who are we? Dude McGuy? DMPCIUS OP MAXIMUS? Sally McTits? John?
>>5983256Pretend there's sound effects and music you just heard the menu load
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5983261uhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this thing
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5983261AYO TOP RIGHTWHAT'S THAT BOX
>>5983262>>5983263Dunno whatchu guys talkin' about, there aint nuthin' up there
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5983264You flipped it to the opposite corner, bottom left
>>5983266Source?
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5983267Me
>>5983269Damnit. ya got me
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5983277I SEE ANOTHER MYSTERY BOX BY THE FIST OF GODOPEN IT
>>5983277MYSTERY BOX!MYSTERY BOX!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5983277WIZARD
>>5983278>>5983279There is no mystery box. You're hallucinating
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5983281it's right under female wizard's staff tho, wym
>>5983281Under the girl wizards staff gem
>>5983281You can't outsneak us!
>>5983282>>5983287>>5983289Fine geez
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5983296Ain't no way OPyou got one more box in the bottom left corner again.
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5983296bottom left, i still see it
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5983296Screw the mystery box, I want the FIST OF GOD!(OR Nuclear Wizard, whichever)
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5983296Reveal the box
>>5983298>>5983299I dunno, I don't see it
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5983307ABOVE AUTOMATON KNIGHT'S HEADOPEN IT
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5983307Open sesame
>>5983307Thicc Lady Double Wizard
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5983320>>5983307
>>5983311>>5983308Arright. Youve forced my hand
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5983325OPTIMAL ARMOR KNIGHT
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5983325Alright, lessee...I say we take Double Wizard, haven't been playing as wizards in a while
>>5983328(bikini version)
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5983325>no more boxessad, but it had to end eventuallyanyways, i'll pick combiner golem
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5983325Fist of God sounds holy. Choose that one.Combiner GolemWizard from the poll
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5983325Nuke wiz!Legalize nuclear casting!
>>5983325So do we choose 4 characters like our adventure quest we play as that one character in a team?
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5983325COMBINER GOLEM GOOOOO
Rolled 25 (1d100)I think we should choose to give OP money instead. Since he's such a swell guy
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5983342Take the groucho glasses off, OPWe know your tricks!Is it multiplayer or not?
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5983342I think this mysterious guy should punch self in face
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5983325Metal bikini knight
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5983342Fascinating proposal, but I don't see any "money" classes in there
>>5983344
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5983350Is this thing multiplayer?
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5983350Now back to the adventure.I choose Fist of GodHis name sir Orkius of BucketHeads
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5983350Heh, kinda looks like he just ate a lemonAnyways, double wizards, lets go!>>5983351Nah we play as voices in the head of a player character
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5983350I think this guy should hand me over money instead
>>5983351Well technically since we're all playing together. In a way it's multiplayer. You could say that perhaps the real multiplayer was the anons we met along the way.Also just controlling 1 dude at a time gives me less of a headache
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5983357Gib bikini knight
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5983357Ok let's pick our party members.Fist of God
>>5983357Gib nuke
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5983357COMBINER GOLEMLOCK IN
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5983360Fuck!
>>5983357OP, quit stalling and lock in the classesTwin wizard
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5983357WHERE IS MY MONEY
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5983357NUKE WIZARD
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5983357you dropped your glasses so i'm not surprised you have to lean in close to relay your wisdom OPif we can't be COMBINER GOLEM i wouldn't mind being the skeleton getting a headpat from spooky wizard though
>>5983359Which Fist of God? This dude?>>5983367I ate it
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5983373I'ma roll for COMBINER GOLEMbut I also like Fire Knight cause he got a car
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>5983373Yes. Party member 1
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5983373Rolling for thicc female wizards
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5983373Double wizard!
>>5983374Oh, ya one a' those huh
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5983373Yeah he's a good first choice
>>5983381Yeah, I'm thinking we're back combiner bros.DO IT
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5983381i'm pretty sure we're one of those, yes
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5983381Party member 1 is fist of God
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5983381BIKINI KNIGHT
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5983381Double wizard
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5983373Rolling Double Wizard!
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5983381>>5983383ROLL
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5983381Double Wizard! Lets go! (I keep replying before the refresh. fml)
>>5983385You seem to be under the impression that we'll pick more party members. There will be only 1 winner for the protag seatbecause actual multiplayer quests make OP head hort
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5983381THICCCC WIZARD
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5983391ROLLING AGAIN FOR COMBINER GOLEM
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5983391I figured we are just choosing our party we play the heroFist of God
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5983391DOUBLE WIZARD, COME ON
>>5983393You got like a fetish or something, what's going on here
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5983381I want the female wizard please and thank you
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5983397CAN'T STOPWON'T STOPIT'S COMBINER TIME!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5983397Gotta keep rolling for bikini knight I guess
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5983397NUKE WIZARD
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5983397Still double wizard but I gotta ask how many times we gotta reroll
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5983397Fist of God seems like a swell guy
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5983397If this is the the hero class. Combiner Golem then
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5983397THICCCCCC WIZARD
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5983397 female wizard
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5983397Rolling Musquiteer
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5983397i will combine my power with my fellow combiner golem voters
>>5983406There's like 8 wizards here so I dunno which one is that
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5983397BIKINI ARMOR
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5983410COMBINER BROSGET IN HEREWE'RE COMBINING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5983410The nukie, obviously.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5983410Double wizard is who I think anon refers to, I just want a funny hat myself
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5983410FEMALE DOUBLE WIZARD OP
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5983410FIST OF GODDE
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5983410Combiner Instead. Locking in let's go!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5983410Im joining combiner gang to stop these shenanigans, get on with the quest!
>>5983413Of course. Look at that girth.Are we happy with this pick?
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5983421ofcoursh
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5983421negative, we need our combiner GOLEM
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5983410he meant any of the wizards honestly
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5983421One Female optimal armor knight please
Rolled 19 (1d109)>>5983421Combiner with fist of God Lock in let's go!
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5983421Nope, Fist of God is the correct pick
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5983421he wanted spooky wizard
>>5983424Any of the wizards? Then I guess I gotta pick one randomly from this box o' names
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5983421I will always PICK the FIST
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5983429Double wizard, baby, come on!
>>5983429Wizard Knight
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5983429Pulls out fist of godFist wizard
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5983429yes, its the only fair way (female)
>>5983429
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5983435is it... Combiner???
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5983435Fist of god
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5983429FEMALE DOUBLE WIZARD
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5983435All of them at once?
OH MY GOD. IT'S....
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5983440That's our class then
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5983440GIVE US THE FEMALE DOUBLE WIZARD NIGGER
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5983440twink wizard...
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5983440Damn.......But what about our combiners???
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5983440Well, I would've went with double wizard, but I shall obey as box commands
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5983440that's the back of the card op, flip it over to get our pull from the wizard gacha
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5983440mm yes yes op is indeed a faget
Since according to this ancient text, OP is a fag. So what if I roll the gacha and see which of the 37 choices we get.That way the RNG could result in NOBODY happy.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5983454We are all fags, we're on 4chan after all, now get rolling the wizard, Double Wizard, preferably, perhaps a girl one, as other anon wants
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5983454fine, do it
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5983454Ok
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5983454CHALLENGE NOT ACCEPTEDGIB FEMALE DOUBLE WIZARD NAO
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5983454Press the random bottom.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5983454go for it, nobody should be happymeaning you should ignore the result and draw another class, discarding all the choices listed previously
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5983454Ask for a second opinion
>>5983457Alright bois. You ready?
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5983462yeh
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5983462Yeah hit itNo one's gonna be happy if we keep arguing
>>5983462Ye
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5983462Let's roll!
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5983462NOOOOOOOOOO
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5983462Here we go
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5983462rolling to support the choice to resolve things by rolling
Rolled 13 (1d36)Aaaannnnnnd the roll is
>>5983472Sure fiah
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5983472FEMALE KNIGHT OF FIREhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRbhLtjOiRcITS TIME
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5983472Haha flaming faget knight!
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5983472Knight of fire, eh? Decent
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5983472AT LEAST WE GET A CART
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5983472Good enough
>>5983472THE FEMALE KNIGHT OF FIRE!SHE HAS A WAGON!
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5983480LETS HECKIN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5983480How did it not burn down?
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5983480clearly we're (on) the wagon and the knight of fire is the protagonist
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5983480Neat, now where she travel to?
>>5983480WHY DOES SHE WEAR A MASK?
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5983480she's hot *dabs*
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5983488
>>5983480The wagon have fellow adventurers?
>>5983480How many horses?
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5983480Where are our friends?
>>5983481And so. You are the KNIGHT OF FIRE. Member of a noble house known for their mastery of the flames...and also using said mastery to compete with other noble houses in the fine art of...magical wagon racing. Oracles have foretold of a great calamity looming over us all soon, threatening to swallow up the world and forever leaving it in darkness. Unless the chosen one appears and save us all.But that's none of your concern right now. Right now you gotta win this race in your souped up custom noble wagon.Or you'll look like a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5983500GAS GAS GAShttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atuFSv2bLa8
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5983500Put up the coolest look you got, where are Ye Olde Shades?
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5983500Oh this is a wacky racers game? Ok why not!? Hit the throttle! Burn rubber!
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5983500throw a fire bomb at the guy trying to pass you
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5983500Pedal to the metal
>>5983505This guy?"GET OFF MY ROAD, FIRE CROTCH"
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5983507FIRE SCHOOL TECHNIQUE!MOLOTOV COCKTAIL!
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5983507Rude, set him on fire
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5983507>This guy?no, the other one. name's "shit sherlock", first name's "no"
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5983507yeah him, we hate him
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5983507Obliterate
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5983507Better a fiery crotch than a stinky one FAGGOT
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5983508PYROMANCY SPELL: MOLOTOV COCKTAIL INCOMING
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5983518H-HE'S FAST!
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5983518More speed lines!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5983518perfect, first try
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5983518NOT SO FAST FAAAAAAG
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5983518fugg
>>5983522"LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY NEEDS TO GO BACK TO KNIGHT SCHOOL"HE TAKES THE LEAD!
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5983527START DRIFITNG THE CORNERS TO CATCH UP!
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5983527CALL HIM GAY
>>5983527Hit the burning nitro boost!
>>5983529F-FIRE DORIFTO?!
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5983534Drift so hard the sparks on the tire turn blue from how hot they are
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5983534>>5983532Nitro!
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5983534time to lock in on that fucker
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5983534Yeah, we learned it from our Dad who taught us when we were still in our teens delivering food
>>5983538"S-SHE'S FAS---I MEAN, YOU TRYIN' TO CATCH UP WITH ME?!"
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5983542PUT THE PRESSURE ON HIM SO HE MESSES UP!
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5983542Space deer! Look out!
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5983542CALL HIM GAY
>>5983545ALMOST THERE!
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5983553Call him gay
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5983553>>5983557yeah, this
How the fuck does this qst have so many replies so quickly?
>>5983559beep boop, stop noticing things
>>5983559All me
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5983553GAAAAAAAAAYYYYY>>5983559I have too many hands sorry
>>5983557"WELL FUCK YOU TOO THEN! EAT THIS!"HE THROWS OUT ONE OF HIS NIGHT KNIGHT POWERS! THE OPPOSITE OF A FLASHBANG!....a shadowbang"I'M STILL WORKSHOPPING THE NAME"
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5983570COUNTER WITH YOUR OWN POWERS! FLAMING BALL (lol) of FIRE!
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5983570NIGGERBANG
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5983570"keep your eyes on the road" he goes off a cliff
>>5983573AH CAN'T SEE SHIT CAP'N
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5983576>>5983572THEN GET READY TO THROW IT
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5983576navigate by sound alone
>>5983577
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5983582THROW IT AT THE BACK OF HIS DARKWAGON!!!
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5983582Catch THIS crotch
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5983582throw it BEHIND yourself, the explosion will propel you forward!!!
>>5983582>>5983589WAIT A NEW TECHNIQUE? FIRE BOOSTAH???I CHANGE MY ROLL FOR THIS
>>5983585>>5983589>>5983592THE FIRE BOOSTA PROPELLED YOU STRAIGHT THROUGH THE DARKNESS!
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5983600ACTIVATE FLAMING RAM AND KNOCK NIGHT KNIGHT OFF THE ROAD WITH YOUR SPEED BOOST!
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5983600If Speed racer has taught me anything, it's A-OK to kill a guy if it means winning the race.
>>5983601"SPEED BOOST HUH?! EXACTLY WHAT I WAS COUNTING ON, SEE YA FIRE CROTCH"HE BLINDED YOU RIGHT BEFORE A SHARP TURN SO YOU'D BOOST STRAIGHT OFF A CLIFF!
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5983604DEPLOY THE WAGON'S WINGS! LIKE A DRAGON. WE FLY!
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5983604go off the rails, you were bribed to take a dive by the goblin clan that your family owes money too.
>>5983610Damn. Were you? Hol up, gotta check
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5983612Hey that guy's ripping on Redline!We're clearly ripping on Initial D!>>5983608
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5983614Sure hope nobody does a QTE when I'm checking the script
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5983617COULD IT BE??
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5983617This is the easiest QTE of all time. Where is OP's rigged dice?
>>5983620Further proof that OP has never rigged any dice
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5983623Thanks for not using rigged dice, OP
>>5983624
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5983626HMPH
>>5983628I kid I kid. You managed to turn the corner in the nick of time, of course of course."OH SHIT"
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5983635DEJA VU!
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5983635DRIFT AROUND HIM!
>>5983636THIS IS IT! CAN YOU OVERTAKE HIM AND GRAB THE GOLD?!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5983640USE THE GUTTER TECHNIQUE IN THE HAIRPIN TURNS OF THE TRACK!
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5983640Retards
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5983641
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5983647DEJA VUROLL FOR THIS EVERYONE IF I DON'T GET IT
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5983647>>5983648I will roll anyway because the dice is nice.
>>5983648"NO!"
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5983658YES!
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5983658damn, going for gold despite agreeing to take a dive for the goblin clans. This will not go well!
>>5983660THERE IT IS!
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5983663Cross it, stylishly
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5983658kaboom
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5983663CROSS THE FINISH LINE WITH OUR WHEELS ON FIRE! THE SACRED TECHNIQUE!
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5983663SUDDEN BLUE SHELL
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5983664
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5983673FUCK
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5983673rigged!
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5983673Oh no it was a fake goal post!
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5983673OH SHIT NIGGA CAN WE DO IT?
IS ANYONE GONNA ROLL A NATTY 100 FOR US???
>>5983674And then....everything goes blank. You kinda forgot what happened after this point
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5983682... It was a memory?!Where are we now?
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5983673fret not
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5983682"So, you are finally awake!"Who are you, why am I in a wagon?
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5983682All you could remember that someone said "BLUEEEEEEEEEEE SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL" and now there you are, sans car and armor and helmet
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5983682fug, clean our face and lock in on the finish line
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5983682Find OP's pen so he can continue drawing.
>>5983686Well things didn't quite work out for you after that. After you finally woke up from your coma you found out your wagon is totaled and the family money dried up. Probably shouldn't have bet that much on the race.Following that, you became indebted to the Adventurer's Guild, since they're the one place you know of that can put your skills to use. Even got you a new, albeit much more shitty, wagon to get you off your feet. But that's how they getcha. You have spent seemingly endless days doing any quests they throw at you, all so you can work off that debt. Get a proper racing wagon, and take back the Gold.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5983696Damn... just delivering bread for the adventuer's guild. This is no way to live!
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5983696We become that new milk man of the Adventurer's Guild.
>>5983698The days are blending together now. Existence is becoming increasingly dull. If only a convenient plot hook would drop into your lap, something that potentially bring you shitloads of crash. Or at least an escape from your currently monotony of doing shitass odd jobs between towns and delivering food.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5983702Like that's ever gonna happen!
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5983702wait, who's that fresh faced adventurer that just walked into the guild hall?
>>5983704"Ummm, hi. Are you, uh, up to join an adventuring party?"
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5983707WHO COULD THIS BE???
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5983707Let's pan the camera over to who said that
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5983709
>>5983709THE LESBIA---I MEAN LILLY KNIGHT?!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5983714Slap yourself back to reality.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5983714I drive
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5983714SHE'S THE ONE ASKING FOR US TO JOIN HER PARTY???
>>5983716"Great! Uh, keep panning the camera please. I'm right over here" said the voice off screen
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5983719PAN OVER TO THE REAL ADVENTURER!
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5983719its a goblin
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5983719We're going need a bigger wagon at this rate.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5983719It's a spooky ghost
>>5983720AND HE IS....A. Level 1 John Dark Souls B. Fresh-faced adventurerC. Novice MageD. Literal Child
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5983727B. FRESH-FACED ADVENTURER
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5983727A or C. Hmmmm, if we post is an even number then A if odd C
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5983727>A. Level 1 John Dark SoulsI like your helmet, helmet man!
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5983727B for ANIME PROTAG look
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5983727D. Literal shota
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5983727>D. Literal Childextra humiliation for our washed up racer
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5983727Dee
Actually, work it out among yourselves who should it be. Cuz it's 7AM and I gotta head off to work soon. So definitely should have suspended thread a wee bit sooner so I can get a power nap. Oh well.bread continues in probably a day or two. If I don't die.Updates b here n shit https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5983727>A. Level 1 John Dark Souls
>>5983737See ya OP
B is way too generic and D is a humiliation ritual
We got a Star Platinum look to us, I say we invest into FIRE FISTS
>>5983727D. Because he seems the most qualified
Remember that if we choose John Dark Souls we'll probably go crazy and die because he forgot to give us the Mark of Flame before beating the Zanzibar Boss
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5983727>B. Fresh-faced adventurer
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5983727JOHN DARK SOULS
Rolled 96 (1d100)Look, clearly the answer is to have John Dark Souls but underneath the helmet he is Fresh-Faced Adventurer.
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5983727>B
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5983727B. Fresh-faced adventurerAnime shota ass face
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5983737B + C, he's clearly an generic isekai protagonist
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5983727B
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5983737B
>>5984252RIP
>>5984260is that you OP???
>>5984262Nah OP died from accute skeleton cancer.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5983727>E: Actually Lilly Knight after all.
>>5984252We'll get her next time, bro
We're being yeasted by OP.
>>5984841Break that bread with our new Palestinians and Jewish friends!
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5984842>>5984841
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5984841Fuck bread I want vegetables not carbs.
>>5984847Woah man, but her dinner first.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5983727>A. Level 1 John Dark SoulsBecause he can shut the fuck up and LISTEN
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5984841Burn my Bread (Purseowner 3 OST)
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5984841>>5984847shut up lilly
>>5984847Calm down anon, here, have this
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5984862THE POWER OF VEGGIES!
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5984862forcefeed it to Lilly who is clearly trying to force the vegetable agenda
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5984862Bite the hand
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5984862Thank you kind OP I will consume this since I trust you have not actually made it deadly by spiking it or whatever else to the same effect
>>5984864Damnit Lily Knight
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5984868GET HER OUTTA HERE
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5984868Pan camera over to the adventurer, who is a combination of John Dark Souls and Fresh-faced Adventurer. Fence-sitting is the thinking mans hobby.
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5984868Shit! Inexperienced adventurer that we chose! Grab her!
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5984868Shoot her with a nuke bullet
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5984868QUICK, NEW ADVENTURER, USE YOUR ISEKAI POWERS
>>5984873What's that? Getting hit by a truck?
>>5984872>nuke bulletWait a minute....Get outta here, Nuke Wizard!
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5984875Spite the vegetarians by grilling a steak right here right now, maybe on your head, its on fire, ain't it?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5984875The hand of God will stop them!
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5984876>>5984875This is the most based option.
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5984876>>5984875I concur with this course of action. Steak time.
>>5984877YEAH!....Wait a minute. Get outta here, Fist of God!
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5984881Back to the HERO
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5984881And now we have a full rival party! Your welcome. Back to the hero
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5984881The Hero has started roasting marshmallows as all of this is going on.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5984881Man all these rejects are here, ain't that right, Hero, they are all JEALOUS of MY GREAT FLAMING MANE
>>5984885
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5984887Not that close! It's gonna burn!
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5984887Fire Blast the hero.
>>5984887Put more gas on the fire, it's kinda low.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5984887Strike a pose
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5984890>>5984890
>>5984888"Oh sorry, my bad"
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5984893The Hero is.... THE FRESH FACED ADVENTURER?
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5984893So what do we do, Mr.Protagonist?
>>5984893Time to establish the identity of the Hero (for real this time). Evens and he's John Dark Soul, Odds he's fresh faced adventurer.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5984893Wait, this foo said something about an adventuring party?
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5984893Tell her she is hawt. As a child hero protag. Lock in.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5984893It's one of the guild workers who coerced into your debt
>>5984896Right the protag. Of course. Let's see what's the trend...
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5984901FRESH FACED ADVENTURER TAKES IT!!!
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5984897>>5984893>put dice in correctly>they disappearlmao
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5984901trend is to subvert expectations by going against grain
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5984901I honestly have no idea how you decide those, so uhhhh B, anime protag, seems to be winning
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5984901Child hero let's gooooo
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5984901Well obviously 5 got the highest grade here (A), therefore whoever got 5 votes should win.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5984901I like John Dark Souls more, but we could just get our Fresh Faced Adventurer to wear a helmet.
>>5984902Seems so. Seems so. Unless we all want another round of voting so I can prolong the thread and I dunno, go get a Monster in the mean time
>>5984910The real utility with John Dark Souls is that even if he dies, he'll just respawn at the last bonfire he rested at. Given the circumstances, that'll probably be our head.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5984912Well, OP, if you do that, I will tell on you
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5984912No, that's not needed.NOW COME ON LET'S GET THIS STORY STARTED!
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5984909I am stupid as shit and can't count.>>5984912Energy drinks are bad for you
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5984912Give him the helmet and move on already.
>>5984915
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5984912Swap OP's Monster with Red Bull
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5984919we're locked into fresh faced adventurer, come onnnnnnn
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5984919Why the long face, OP
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5984919A Monster invades the Guild Hall we're in.
>>5984921
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5984927Your hair kinda looks like mine, lets be friends
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5984927Seems good, let's ask him what we're doing
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5984927Can I interest you in a helmet?
>>5984931"Uhmmm. I'm just starting out on this whole, adventuring thing, I don't really have alot of spare cash"
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5984932Just put the "FIRE SQUIRE" helmet on him
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5984932That's OK, I take credit.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5984932Alright then what adventure do you want us to go with you on?
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5984932and you using my fire?that'll be 5 gold and tip
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5984932You ever heard of a credit card my boy?
>>5984936"Ah yes! of course! Hold on, lemme just get the quest notice"When he finally manages to fish it out. The quest he asks you to join is:- Clear out a goblin cave- Stop bandit attacks on a certain part of the road- Find a lost item, guy lost it in the woods- Give OP Money
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5984942>Clear out a goblin caveseems easy enoughNow come on... to the wagon
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5984942>Deliver Milk to the nearby town
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5984942>>5984943we don't have any wagon
>>5984945>>5983696you dumbass, read the story
>>5984943"Aww gee, thanks, Miss....ummmm....what should I call you?"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5984942Stop the bandits, everyone knows poisonmancers take care of goblin extermination quests
>>5984946I refuse to ride that piece of garbage>>5984947Ice
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5984947Firemane, heir to House Fireborn, greatest wagon racer of your time
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5984947>>5984949fug
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5984947Pyra Magnus
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5984947Ignis Lumen
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5984947I am the Knight of Fire, but you can call me Hinako
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5984947>what should I call you?"Broke. Now get in the wagon, we got Goblins to immolate.
>>5984951
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5984969Yeah sure
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5984969How about Fenix "Firemane" Fireborn Firemane's our nickname
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5984969I don't like it, can we pick something else?
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5984969This is such a dumb name I picked, I will agree with veOvLGI and have Firemane be nickname and name be Felix
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5984975Ok time to commit war crimes on these goblins.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5984975>>5984973Felix? Fenix? What's the difference, anyways get the name right before we continue
>>5984975Who are you, mystery drawfag? I know you are not OP
>>5984970"Alright, Ms Firemane. Let's head off to the goblin cave" Probably over here >>5984975
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5984975>>5984978Confusion strikes me
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5984978that's OP(ee) definitely>>5984980>>5984977
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5984980Napalm those niggas
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5984980Let's hurl a fireball right in there they aren't even in cover
>>5984982Huh, haven't see OP(ee) since the one off about dollar store space marine
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5984980Open Skill Menu to see how many war crimes we can unleash on these gobos
>>5984985"Alright, I'll follow your lead! What should we do? Charge in?"
>>5984988Let me soften them up first.NOW, TORCH THAT CAVE
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5984988I'm gonna try sending a fireball into the cave first
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5984988>>5984989roll
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5984988go inside, block the exist, make oxygen go extinct
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5984991FWOOOOSSHHH
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5984993THE OL FIREMANE SPECIALSMOKE EM OUTLET EM BURN JUST LIKE BBQ!
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5984993nyeah
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5984993O no-Goblin McGoblinface
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5984993Vietnam moment.
>>5984999Sweet, mid-episode title card, also checked
>>5984999Get the fuck out of here, lesbo. You had your own quest already.
>>5984999Get outta there Lily Knight
>>5984999Go away Lily!
>>5984999onee x shota
>>5984996"Boy. Another day, another round of pillaging and harassing the surrounding villages. Time to----Is the sun getting closer or somethi----"
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5985007NOW WE CHARGE IN!FLAMBERGE AT THE READY!
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5985007dust explosion, just like in my animes
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5985007cherg
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5985007Make a sword out of fire and charge in there!
>>5985009
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5985012it sets off chain reaction
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5985012Now we euthanize the survivors
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5985012>>5985008Let the hero soak up the XP by getting the kills though
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5985012Alright, NOW we enter
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5985012OH THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO GLUE YOU BACK TOGETHERIN HELL
>>5985015From the ruins of the formerly-goblin-cave, a flaming goblin emerges!"WATCHOUT MISS FIREMANE! IT SEEMS THERE ARE ELEMENTAL GOBLINS IN THERE!"
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5985022 step aside
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5985022"Just stab your sword through them! They're weakened! It'll be like roasting marshmallows!"
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5985022Nah, he's just on fireKill him
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5985022Let the cute level 1 adventurer get the kill on this one.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5985022Tell the goblin he looks like OP. He'd gasp so hard that he'd suffocate on the ash and die.
>>5985006
>>5985024"DON'T WORRY I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT"
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5985039"YOU GO KID!"
>>5985040"Why....did I have to have slightly more HP...than my brothers.....bleeuuugh"
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5985043Congratulate the boy for his first murder.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5985043Now let's see how much XP we got before we get lootin
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5985043You did it, Boy!>>5985046
>>5985043>>5985045>>5985047Supported. We found ourselves a good apprentice. We should ask him his name.
>>5985045
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5985038そうです。>>5985056and goblin thought:"onee x shota"
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5985056We'll provide backup.. Just let the HERO get all the kills!
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5985056Okay now we have to make sure they're all dead. Let's go in there and stab all the corpses.
>>5985056Cool. We should ask for his name. Do we know what it is?>>5985057No.>>5985061We should do this carefully. This would be a good opportunity to teach him about watching for traps.
>>5985064>No.Yes
>>5985061"Wow. This has been going great so far. I gotta remember to thank the Guild Receptionist. He's the one that recommended you"
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5985067Huh? We've just been delivering bread and milk though.
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5985068>>5985067Also there are men working as guild receptionists? I thought they were all women?
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5985067It's nice that the guild receptionist thought we'd be a good teacher for the kid. Let's turn in proof of completion, collect our reward, and split it between the two of us.>>5985068That'd be a good one to complete afterward. I'd imagine we're escorting the milkman.
>>5985068FLAAAAAASHBACK"Ah, so you're a newbie huh. What's your budget, kid?""Uhmmm...almost none. Cuz I'm just starting out""...Alright then, you might wanna try that lady on fire in the hall. You can't miss her.""Oh really?""Yeah, totally. She's great with newbs""Well that's perfect! Thanks, sir""No probs kid. Definitely not because she's the cheapest or anything"
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5985073DAMN YOU GUILD RECEPTIONIST
>>5985075"Just for that we're taking another chunk out of your quest reward">>5985076kek
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5985077Anywayshow the goblin slayin be doin
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5985073>>5985075He's a good kid, it isn't so bad. However, the receptionist owes us money for another bet that was made.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5985077I'm going to commit a hate crime against guild receptionists after this.
>>5985061>>5985082>95>twicegonna tell OP u r hacking
>>5985076Fake, Lily's helmet snout is way longer
>>5985082"See ya soon, Firemane"Damn you Flashback Receptionist
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5985089How's our Hero doing?
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5985089I hate that guy, I hate him! So anyways, is the cave done or is there something deeper in?
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5985089>>5985091Agreed. Let's see how he's doing after his first quest.
>>5985091"Hey miss! I think we got em all!"
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5985098Thumbs up"Get back in the Wagon, let's turn in the quest."
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5985098Get the L00T
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5985098He works fast.
>>5985089I didn't know Ms. Firemane was baking some buns out back.
>>5985101Dare you roll the loot dice
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5985107do it
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5985107LOOT
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5985098>>5985100>>5985101Seconded.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5985107LOOT
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5985107Roll the loot die. Do it now!
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5985109>>5985108>>5985110>>5985111
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5985114COULD IT BE?
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5985114OP in fucking shambles right now. Absolutely fucking annihilated.
>>5985114>2Damn, so sad. You didn't find shit
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5985118hop in the wagon and let's go back to the guild hall
>>5985118No fair, OP. You didn't let the newbie roll.
>>5985124Yeah it's real unfortunate that your zealous need for goblin BBQ and burned all possible valuables inside. Oh well, back to town with you
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5985127It can't be helpedrev up that loading screen
>>5985127Fire Blast that OP!
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5985127>>5985128loot rng predeterminated already after killing, to battle savescumming.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5985127Quick hero kill that fat blob thing for sweet XP!
>>5985127>>5985128>the second anon is the first to reply almost every timeOP?
>>5985133Clearly that's my biggest fan
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5985127Rolling to grab that fucker.
>>5985134or a stalker
>>5985128
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5985139We arrive at the Guild Hall once more to claim our rewards!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5985139>OP skipping over the higher rolls so we get no lootvseOvLGl is 100% OP on a second computer trying to railroad us.
>>5985144
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5985146>>5985141run away OP... from your duties of not giving these anons loot
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5985146Ram that fucker!
>>5985148
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5985151OP NOOOOOOOOOOO!but hey loot!
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5985151He poped like a loot goblin. Lets get the loot.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5985146>>5985148>Ram that fucker!Rolling for bounty size on his head.
>>5985154To be honest I dunno what you were expecting from a noob quest goblin cave. Aside from shitass goblin weapons and maybe gold they stole from surrounding settlements.You know. If the crap survived your fireball
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5985156disregard the other anons, they're trying to grasp at a 2 roll for LOOTget us back to the fucking guild hall already
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5985156Gold is good. We can get the Adventurer some gear with that.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5985156We could've still taken melted gold, but fair enough
>>5985156Collect what loot we find and put it with the rest of what we return to the guild hall for the quest reward.
>>5985160But what if....2 meant.....2 gold coins
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5985156>>5985161Forgot to roll.>>5985160Good idea.
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5985162We'll take it, just get us back to the plot.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5985162HELL YEAH
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5985162>>5985166Things that will make men go 'Hell Yeah!'
>>5985166
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5985170Alright! Lets go get you some sick gear with this cash, boy!
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5985170Turn in that quest babyyyyyyyy
>>5985172"Alright. Lemme see what proof you got...Ah fuck are these burned goblin parts? Agh the fuckin' smel---""THAT WAS GREAT MISS FIREMANE! YOU WERE AWESOME"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5985179Strike a cool pose"Yeah, I know."
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5985179Always am! What's the next quest? Also while we're here, you're building a party, right?
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5985179He handled himself pretty well. Let's split the reward, plan the next time to meet and head out on a quest, and begin to sort out our money problem until then.
>>5985182"Yeah! See, I got sent on this quest by my village a---Oh man, this is so embarassing. I realized I never gave you my name!. Sorry! It's..."Now choose a name for the boy. While I end the sesh here. Cuz it's 2 AM and I gotta shit,updates b here n whatnot: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5985186"Beat" cause he's gonna beat the Demon Lord dude
>>5985186Yuuri Shoujoai
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5985186Oscar Guy.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5985186Deonardo Licaprio
>>5985186Grond
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5985284>>5985186Grond
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5985186Gary GraymanePeople call him Gay Gaymane back home
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5985186Heero O'Leghain
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5985186Shoty McShotaface
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5985186Lucy Yurigal
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5985186Konrad
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5985186Luffy Naruto
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5985186Bob
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5985186Gokú González
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5985186Guy Dudemann
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5985186Jackie Chan
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5985186Badguy Orphangrinder
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5985186the hero of legend shall be named... Ezekiel Rutebega
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5985186Sledge Hammer
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5985186Dahiro
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5985186Penis Muncher
>>5985186YoOPWakeup OP
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5987735toastypunch self in the face
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5987735Eat well
>>5987761
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5987771Okay, let's name that Adventurer guy "Kid"it's easy to remember
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5987771Get back on track, we have adventures to do!
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5987771Boy will be called bob and will be killed in a two thread offscreen cause he is unimportant
>>5987773But according to the thread, the highest name roll was.... Ezekiel Rutebegatf kinda name is this
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5987779Whatevah, "Okay Kidzekiel, what'd we get for turning in the quest?"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5987779His middle name is kid
>>5987781Oh okay
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5987782>>5987780
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5987782makes paperwork easier
>>5987784How convenient. Aint that right, Kid?*muffled sounds of agreement*
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5987785let's go claim our reward
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5987785Burn his toast
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5987785get some fantasy meat on bone for yourself
>>5987789>burn his toast>burning his bread>burn bread>burn my bread
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5987791>>5987786
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5987791no OP, you won't end with thread that quicklyplay draw 4 card
>>5987792"Alright chumps. Here's your reward. Don't spend it all in one place"
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5987800spend it in one placeaka weapon shop
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5987800Fuck you buddy, time to rob this joint
>>5987802Maybe this is why you keep failing to save up for a better wagon
>>5987808well, we gotta outfit our new adventurer if we want him to survive
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5987808naaaah, that can't be itguild is at fault putting weapon shop just across it with flashy new deal about that giant two handed sword you always wanted with flame design
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5987808Remember the Golden Rule of fantasyland: "Thou shalt be beset by sidequests"
>>5987811C'mon now anon. Are you suggesting that we're just gonna bump into a sidequest? Huh? Just like that?
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5987812Yes!
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5987812its... Lilly knight.
>>5987813bump"Ah shit, 'scuse me"
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5987815>>5987814
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5987815it's a big question mark
>>5987817
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5987819I thought you liked cameos OP
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5987819imagine having adventures without cameoswouldn't that be refreshing?
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5987819>>5987820she isn't a cameo, she's a weird stalker
>>5987820
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5987824we need to enrich pool with new characters otherwise OP will get cranky
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5987824>>5987823
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5987824I know! Bring in the two idiots, that will surely make for some diversity
>>5987828>the two idiotsWhich ones. THere has been several
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5987830Horsefucker and Gar
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5987830Mob Knight obviously
>>5987831Nice try, but Gar's dead. let it gooooo
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5987837Let it be the Mob Knights then
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5987837dang itCan we have Gar long lost cousin Gar the Second then?
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5987837Let check out what Night Knight is doing.
>>5987841Right of course. The Night Knight. Your hated racing rival. After the race that changed your life, you spend every Friday stalking---I mean observing him from the shadows and stewing in your own rage and frustration. Wonder where he i---"Wait. 'scuse me. You guys look like the adventuring type, yeah?"Oh yeah, there's also this dude you just bumped into
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5987842is that... GOBLIN RIDER???
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5987842>>5987843It's Goblin Rider RX!
>>5987844OH SHIT....wait what's Gobbo Rider doing here?
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5987845nigga stole his bikehe needs it back
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5987845>>5987847That's right! It's our duty to help protags who've lost their rides!
>>5987845SAY NOTHING ABOUT THE GOBLIN CAVE
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5987845>>5987850
>>5987851"I'm looking into the recent mass murder of a goblin cave. You guys know anything about that?"
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5987852Uuuuh, she did it *points to Lily Knight*
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5987852Banish with a smoke bomb and take the kid with you to the weapon shop!
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5987852yea, we did it per guild quest listingwhat the issue?
>>5987852>>5987857KID NO
>>5987857>>5987859"So you admit to doing it?""Well yeah! Quest said they were terrorizing the local villages. So we dealt with em!"
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5987863CAST SMOKE BOMB AND ABSCOND OUTTA THERE>>5987855
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5987863SCREAM GOBLIN INVADER AND POINT TO GOBLIN RIDER
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5987863I'm sure goblin rider will understand
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5987865SMOKE BOMB?!
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5987872ESCAPE!!!
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5987872it's a grenade
>>5987873
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5987880Let's get the Kid some KNIGHT OF FIRE themed armor and weapons
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5987880so how sidequest is called?"Do not pursue Goblin Rider DX"?
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5987880Right, now lets go get Kid some actual gear. He needs some good swag.
>>5987881Indeed! To the Equipment Shop!
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5987891before someone will add that wall you broke on your tab
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5987891Lets go!!!
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5987892>>5987891The destruction of that wall was clearly an act of Goblin Terrorism.
>>5987894YEAH TOTALLY! IT WAS THE GOBLINS!
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5987895that's racist
>>5987897What's it to ya? You a goblin? HUH? Anon?!
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5987900I wouldn't know, I'm voice in your head
>>5987901Firemane Fireborn goes on a weirdly racist tirade against goblins.
>>5987905I sure do hope she doesn't do it in front of shop which is run by Goblin Conglomerate Guild Incorporated which covers half of country and basically almost only source of weapons and armor for all adventure necessities
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5987905>>5987907fug
>>5987908Sure hope soooooo.But uh, I gotta go. Some IRL stuff came up. BRead continues in like 5 hours.Toodles
>>5987910take care OPget yourself a poak bun
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5988031Holdon, what are the musquiteers doing here?
>>5988034"Shopping for supplies, what else?"
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5988031Ma'am please no cooking in the weapons store
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5988037Windowshopping?
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5988037Tell female Musquiteer not to get near us, we might combust her magical gunpowder with our HAWT hair
>>5988039"Of course not....the window shop is further down the street over there"
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5988042WHO THE FUCK IS THAT BEHIND YOU
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5988042Walk away shaming him for such a pun.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5988042oh cool, street performance
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5988042THE TOPHAT SKELETON LAFFS
>>5988045"Hey c'mon. No need to get....heated"
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5988048Time to give the kid some HOT equipment
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5988048Sure, grandpa
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5988048Storm in to the equpiment store! It's shopping time!
>>5988050
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5988058grandma goes to take granpa back to his retirement home
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5988058Is the old granpda the purveyor of the Equipment Shop?
>>5988061Of course not. That was Musquiteer Grandpa.Equipment Shop Grandpa is a completely different guy
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5988070Lets go visit the Equipment Shop Grandpa
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5988070Does equipment shop grandpa have hero-sized FIRE equipment? So we can turn the boy into our FIRE SQUIRE?
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5988070that's a lot of grandpas
>>5988073C'mon, that's like 2 grandpas. That's barely enough grandpas for a bingo night
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5988076I am sure there are more out there
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5988076what about Item Shop Grandpa? He never invited to bingo nights anymore after last time he got drunk drinking health potions?
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5988076check in with female musquiteer, who has a fun hairdo last I've seen of her
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5988076Enough about grandpas. It's time for equipment.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5988076I'm sure Equipment Shop Grandpa has a lot of stories to tell us as we peruse his wares.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5988076Alright let's check for a armor shop Kid seems to be a basic enough class we can get gear there
>>5988079Hmmmm
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5988092Are you sure it is not spanish inquisition?
Rolled 218 (1d1000)>>5988092EQUIPMENTNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5988092A lot of musquiteers around these parts, huh?
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5988094Oops, that's an extra 900.
>>5988094Calm down there son.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5988098Fine lets get to the equipment store, but also get ye olde donuts while on the way
>>5988100"Greetings, travelers. Have ye came to partake in my nuts of dough"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5988104tell me about your donuts, knight
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5988104Do you have any bear claws?
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5988104Let's see your pastry options doughnut merchant
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5988104Two nuts of dough, Sir Doughnut Knight
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5988104Hello donut seller, I am going shopping, and i need your strongest donuts.
>>5988109"A wise choice, noble knight. But what kind do you prefer?"
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5988118just your regular donutbecause of heat you produce all toppings kinda melt before you bite
>>5988118I'll take the sprikle one, Boy, which one are you taking?
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5988118tell me about the black donut
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5988118Chocolate one. Or void, whatever the black one is.>>5988121It's 100% black. Well, more like 75%
>>5988121"This sacred relic is a venerable donut, fried to perfection, covered in the thickest and most concentrated coating of chocolate this side of the kingdom. It is much too strong for any regular person to consume. Are you strong enough to defeat it, O Noble Knight?"
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5988124Munch munch
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5988124so you saying it I can have it for free if I do that?
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5988124tell me yet more information about this donut
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5988124The flames of our metabolism will burn these calories
>>5988128" 'course not, we run a bizness here, c'maan now"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5988134Eh, we don't need it. FINALLY GO TO THE EQUIPMENT SHOP
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5988134then it isn't as strong as you say, false advertising.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5988134Donut seller, I am heading into shoping, and I need your strongest donut
>>5988137"Very well. This donut is much too strong for thee. I bid you farewell....But you'll be back....They always come back...."
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5988142not this time, donut seller!
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5988142We will, we will...
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5988142Not uh!
>>5988145
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5988150man that donut shop is creepy
>>5988150Foreboooooooood
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5988150So I would like to purchase the Super Mega Blade of Annihilation MK 5000000, please
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5988154>>5988150Explode
>>5988157
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5988160Now developed non head exploding powers
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5988160Alright, so what's our budget
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5988160Equipment shop now!
>>5988163Ah of course. Time to check our purse....Roll 2d100. First roll is pickings. Second roll is how many gold you have
Rolled 73, 73 = 146 (2d100)>>5988168That's whole a lot of nothing
Rolled 3, 36 = 39 (2d100)>>5988168He better not have been shafting us
>>598816973 Gold. Could be worse. Considering that this is after they deducted a percentage so you can (gradually) pay off your debt
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5988176Not bad. Let's get the kid some equipment now.
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5988176Pffft, idiots think I'm not just gonna bail town at first opportunity, lmao
>>5988177"Welcome welcome. What can I do for you today?"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5988191I need a bigger sword
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5988191armor for a, whatever class Kid is
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5988191SUPER GIGA ANNIHILATION SWORD 90000000
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5988191Give this kid armor just like mine!
>>5988195>kid gets set on firealso, is it even armor? it looks like a sleeveless jacket with pauldrons
>>5988195"Ah yes. So you want a face covering helmet and a jacket"
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5988210That's exactly it!
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5988210I dunno, BOY, your input?
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5988210Yes and then LIGHT IT ON FIRE. He must become the FIRE SQUIRE
>>5988211"What about you yourself, my boy? Which one do you prefer?"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5988219roll a dice for it or is there a MYSTERY BOX option?
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5988219I. Want what's in the mystery box
>>5988219Can't he just get a hero(tm) fit? like a tunic and a metal ring around his head?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5988223>>5988219fugg
>>5988221"There's no such thing as a mystery box"
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5988230OK. Can he get something in green? With a funny hat?
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5988230what about questionable square?
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5988230Hey, what's that behind you gramps?
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5988230Oh yeah? How ccome I am holding it right now? Huh? HUH ,HUHUHUHUH HUUUUUH!?
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5988230Flame knight flash him the goods and we gets what is in the box
>>5988236"Holding what?"EGADS! IT'S GONE!
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5988240It is localized in your pouch
>>5988242Looking into your pouch, you see..
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5988246eat OP
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5988246How long have you been there?
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5988246Firmly grasp it
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5988246Oi, where the magical mystery box at OP?
>>5988251perhaps the mystery box was OP we found along the way
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5988246GIBE MYSTERY BOX
>>5988248
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5988256Give us the mystery box behind gramps!
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5988256get up you big faker
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5988256use Item>phoenix featherGet up, the suffering isn't over
>>5988257"Ah yes. The comically oversized armor"
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5988272"Help me Miss Firemane I can't move"
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5988272I feel like Kid will lose all sense of direction if he gets itand get some cats too
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5988272Just give the boy a cool jacket and the open face helmet. Unless you got more, OP?
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5988272Help me big sis I'm stuck
>>5988276"Well, considering your budget...."
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5988296TOP LEFT!
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5988296Bottom leftrock inIt's same helmet as fabled hero Gar
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5988296We should get something that shows his face for marketability purposes, though. Top left.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5988296Upper middle, OP ain't dodging away from not drawing faces
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5988296Top leftMake him a fire fist hero
>>5988299Heroes name should be barOr narOr parOr tar
>>5988299>>5988296
>>5988299>fabled hero>gar>implicationsAlso>helmet not even a cross>gar
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5988313we ROLLIN FOR THE CLASSIC FIRE SQUIRE LOOK, TOP LEFT
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5988313It's regional variant, image got twisted a bit after so many retellings
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5988313The center one is pretty neat. What about that one?
>>5988316The good ol' comfy longcoat look. Enjoyed by many a heroes
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5988318I think Kid would enjoy this look very much. We should buy this.
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5988318That's a good look.Though I want the unified look of TOP left
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5988320you mean like a unified center and top left? sounds kewl.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5988318fine, bottom right for all the murder goblin karma kid gotcalled Goblins and Ghosts
>>5988320Giving Kid the ol' Firemane makeover huh
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5988324But comfy longcoat :<
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5988324too modern add some spikes on shoulders
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5988324Naaah a bit to the right
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5988324You should give him those cool buffy pants. The ones that get longer at the shins.
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5988324>>5988327Spikes could work
>>5988327"Those costs extra, by the way"
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5988335cheapstake
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5988335Okay fine let's goI was going to say to add the wide pants but the knight probably prefers to see the hero in shorts, pervert.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5988335>>5988338Alright, let's do it.FINALLY LOCK IN
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5988335You know what lets go with middle left instead
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5988335BOTTOM MIDDLE
>>5988335Damn, those are some tight shorts
>>5988338Shorts? Surely not! They're clearly pants tucked into his greaves. Surely our noble Firemane Fireborn won't make this boy walk around in shorts.Right?
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5988347Of course not.Only when they're alone.
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5988347This is nicelock in, confirm
>>5988349
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5988352>>5988347Looks good, let's head to the weapon shop now.Thanks gramps!
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5988352I am not associated with that particular schizoid voice, FBI knight
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5988352Excuse me, we didn't pick the 'child' option, so that means he's oficially legal.Trust me, i'm a lawyer.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5988347It's summer, they fit better, they make you more comfortable, you become more menouverable, it's my culture, uumm uuuuhhh
>>5988355>>5988357Double rolls, the dice commands it.
>>5988355I mean, could be a teenage or something. Who knows
>>5988360No. We didn't pick the child option, so that means he's legal. It's the LAW. it says right here.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5988360That makes it more legal not less, trust me shorts is the way to go for an aspiring adventurer
>>5988361Yeah well I got the REAL law right here
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5988364Good thing none of us are Anon S, then. Now put those shorts on boeh.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5988364I will have truck-kun strike your second foot, OP
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5988364I'm anon y
>>5988369Uh huh uh huh.Whatever the case. It's almost 3 AM and I gotta slep. See you all when bread continues. Whenever that is.updates n shit: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5988383At some point in the future, probablyGet a better cicadian rhythm, OP
>>5988385OP needs time to figure out how to shoe horn a mec battle into this fantasy quest please understand
>>5988390Damn. Spoilers
>>5983454>>5983462HOLD ONE FUCKING SECOND!!! STOP THE THREAD! What the fuck is the secret 37th option? My eyes crave knowledge.
>>5989920OP, duh
>>5989920There is no secret 37th option. OP merely miscounted.Totally.Do not think about it.
>>5989960OOK OOK OOK
>>5990920sshhhhhh
Has OP forsaken the bread?
>>5992237clearly he's drawing a fully colored, physically printed, 32-page doujinshi of Firemane and Kid.
What symbol is on the back of our jacket I wonder
>>5992311It's the symbol of OP delaying bread for another daymuch apologogies
>>5992332shouldn't it be toast
>>5992333>>5992332Burnt toast.
>>5992333Just pretend the entire loaf is toasted but we're too cheap to update textures
>>5992334>>5992333>>5992332Burn my bread
>>5992337it's just behind DLC paywall
do not worry guys I have a totally up to date op license I can continue this thread.Okay so you reminisce about your time at yurigasuki high school when your heart was young and men did not exist
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5992503Nuh uh, shut up dyke knight. Everybody knows Firechadettes don't go to school.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5992503Such days! Running out the door late for school, a loaf of bread in our mouth slowly toasting.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5992503>and men did not existLily hands typed this post
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5992503Lies, Fireknight was the fiery woman every man wanted
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5992503Get off the interwebs Lily! Besides Fireman is a hotblooded punk she'd be poppin wheelies instead of going to school like a geek
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5992503This post smells like frog
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5992503>men did not existUpon realizing this, she then went on a journey to find where all the good men, gods and streetwise hercules(es) have gone.
>>5992761but it says right there: no men
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5992923The only "Yuri" that Firemane likes is her Uncle Yuri Firevtzky, who hooks her up with illegal aftermarket car parts from countries that no longer exist.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5992923Of course a "french" would be the one to like the concept of men not existing.
>>5992923
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5992934burn it with fire
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5992934BANISH that FOOL to GARY, INDIANA
>>5992934
>>5992937>>5992935
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5992938Oh shit CUT TO COMMERCIAL
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5992938
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5992938do it
>>5992939
>>5992938ONE DAY I'LL MAKE YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND TRUE AAaaaart
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5992943I-is it gone?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5992943run the toothpaste ad
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5992943Where is Kid? Is he safe? Is he alright?
>>5992943>>5992945Well that sure was weird huh gang. Now let's get back to what's truly important: shitty quest ads
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5992949damn reruns
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5992938OP is a based gay annihilator. I will now donate to his Patreon.
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5992951Yuriheathens OBLITERATED from existence
>>5992951Holy shit he can probably get that liver transplant now
COMING NEVER TO A THREAD NEAR YOU:THE ADVENTURES OF COOL MCGUY AND RACECAR JOHNNY
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5992955Install adblock and skip this
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5992955:(
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5992955Enable uBlock
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5992955this sounds so much better
>>5992959BUT WE HAVEN'T GOT TO THE COMBINER MECHA COMMERCIAL YET NNNOOOOo---
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5992961poor shin super robot pilot pvnever had the chance
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5992961GITOUTTADISTHREAD! Now, back to uh...we were getting the kid outfitted I think?
>>5992962
COMING SOON TO A QUEST NEAR YOUTHIS SUMMERACTION! MAGIC! YURI! DRAGONS!DRAGON WITCH: THE ADVENTURE QUESTDO NOT MISS IT!
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5992967Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming, i believe we were getting some equipment for our boy?
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5992967No, Super Robot Pilot F is other game
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5992969
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5992969Oh hey I read that manga. 4/10.>>5992967How's the boy taking to his new duds?
>>5992974wtf
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5992974Yurifags literally can't catch a break. They are forever eternally BTFO.
>>5992975Yeah he seems pretty aight>>5992974daymn
>>5992976The dice wills it!
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5992980How are you feeling in your new outfit, Kid?
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5992980looking good
>>5992984"It's pretty comfy. And the stats are higher than my old one. Thanks Ms. Firemane"
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5992980I knew those spikes were a good idea. We'll take it Shopkeep!
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5992989Very good, now we can take on more difficult quests.
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5992989Surely these are decent all around clothes and not designed for a specific build you're not specced for.Surely.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5992989Just don't tilt your head too much
>>5992995"Got it"Now. For the most terrible part of this process.Paying.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5993003put it on the tab
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5993003Don't think too hard about it, Firemane. It's just... a little... cash... It won't hurt... too much!!
>>5993005"You don't even have one"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5993008create tab
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5993008Ah, hold on. These clothes are slightly burnt around the edges! I want a discount!
>>5993012[CHECK FAIL: Your relationship with Shop Grandpa is not high enough]
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5993017Pay cash then.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5993017pull his beard
Rolled 38 (1d70)>>5993018"Hmmm, yes yes. Your total is about...."
>>5993023"...38 gold"
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5993024pay in installments
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5993024Pay upfront to increase standing with Item Shop Grandpa.
>>5993025Very cheap installments of 30 gold per pay
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5993031waaaait a minutefuck it, pay with cash
>>5993032"Glad doing business withcha. Is that all? or would you like to make...additional purchases?"
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5993040Abandon the shop at speed in a very dramatic way!
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5993040Flash her the cash Cut to bed scene"Fo-for the quest!" Plap plap plap
>>5993041
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5993043Hero asks where do skeleton babies come from
>>5993044Skeleton babies? But there aint no skellies in this quest!
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5993047You know damn well that is a lie!
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5993047The Hero actually said that the next quest from the Adventurer's Guild involved fighting Skeletons.
>>5993052Yeah but then asked where do skeleton babies come from. Hero is very innocent and curious boy.
>>5993052Oh okay, that makes more sense. Probably that means clearing out a crypt or something.
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5993054Kid seems very excited for this quest.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5993054Nah, they just wander around stealing milk from farmers to make themselves stronger for reasons unknown, we are to raid their camp/illegal dairy operation
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5993054crypt is all time classic
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5993054Crypt made of Corn
>>5993057"Yeah I am! Back at the village my friends said all real adventurers would have to clear out a crypt eventually! This means I'm one step closer to being a real hero!"
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5993061yeaI ain't feeling itbones are fire resistant, get some holy weapons
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5993061Flame knight blush
>>5993061Who knows, maybe we'll visit your grand-grand-dad
>>5993063"Need holy weapons? Come on down to the local temple, my child. And the Almighty will sort you out"
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5993069Hero wants holy nunchucks
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5993069I start feeling pattern in NPCs
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5993069Sure, here, bless my burning sword and Boys... sword
>>5993073Fire is kind of a holy element, right? We gotta have an advantage on thisI'd be weird if something different was holy. Not "burn in holy flame" but like "drown in holy water" or something.
>>5993075Drowning in holy water is what baptism is about, no?
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>5993073"Of course. My child. God will grant his divine blessing unto your weapons so they may become instruments of his will......only for [OP's ROLL] gold"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5993081Can we double the cost by blessing armor as well?
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5993078Shit, right.Uhhh. What's never holy? Earth?>>5993081Sick, glowing weapons for just 4 gold
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5993081Shit that's twice as much as I found on that goblin corpse...errrrm....errrrrm....sure, here
>>5993083"Yes"
>>5993084>Earth?I mean there is holy land and temples are built on land and considered to be holy tooMaybe air? Never hear about breathing holy air, do you?
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5993088holy fire sounds nice
>>5993090"Indeed. And with the added protective blessing for your armors, you are sure to be protected if you decided to stand against anything unholy"
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5993093Alright, sold
>>5988076So this is 3 grandpas now. How many do they need for a bingo night?
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5993093And nunchucks
>>5993094
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5993106Now to the cryptMaybe we will pick up a colorful cast of party members along the way.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5993106save the game while you are at it
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5993106>>5993107ignore the pigtailed bush following you
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5993106Hold on now, we are only two, a proper party should have four! We need a healer and a thief!
>>5993109
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5993115TRUST THE ANON
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5993115put it on fire
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5993115Op, he means a bush wizard. She's just a young bush who became a wizard in training.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5993115Oh, Lily, you happen to know any healers or thieves, our party is a bit small
>>5993118Is it now?
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5993122On the way they run into a Fist of God knight. He can help cuz he is already holy with the fist.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5993122fire works wonders on bushes
In any case. I uh, gotta go. Bread will continue later. Probably like 12+ hours
>>5993125OP is fucking dead!
>>5993125toastytake care OP
OP's dead, back to the scheduled yuri!...is what someone could have said if they didn't get brained by a chimp
>>5992980>>5992989Is he wearing his fackin shorts or not ?
>>5993152If you can type and solve captcha you can write yuri fanfics, OPee, being brained by a chimp is no excuse for laziness
I wish yurifags would stop trying to force it in every single quest with a female protagonist
>>5993216I gotta respect the dice, I got ethics. unlike OP>>5993218brother I've been doing this before /u/ even existed yaint stopping me
>>5993235You know the joke gets a lot less funny when you repeat it for the hundredth time in the thread
