You are a noble human male paladin, sworn to protect the innocent and deliver justice. Today, you learn that a small tribe of cannibalistic greenskin orcs has been terrorizing a nearby human village. "This cannot stand!" Naturally, you mount your destrier and ride to their aid. With a sword in hand, you engage the orc tribe, cutting down their warriors. Eventually, you face their chieftain, Azov the Defiler, and after a fierce battle, he falls to your blade.But instead of scattering in fear, the orcs do something unexpected. One of them steps forward, speaking in a gruff voice, "You killed our chieftain. By orc law, you are now our chief, and his wives are yours!"You gulp. What in the world have you gotten yourself into?> 1. "I... I don't know much about orc law. I'm not sure how to handle this."> 2. "Listen, it's not about you. I'm into supple human women, not seven-foot-tall sturdy she-orcs."> 3. "I have feelings for a human girl. An orc harem isn't something I can deal with right now."> 4. "Well, if that's the law... I guess I have no choice."> _
>>6035083> 1. "I... I don't know much about orc law. I'm not sure how to handle this."
1. "I... I don't know much about orc law. I'm not sure how to handle this."
>>6035095>>6035097>>6035110"I... I don't know much about orc law. I'm not sure how to handle this," you finally manage to speak.A high-pitched voice interjects, "I might be able to help you... unless I get eaten first." The voice belongs to a long-nosed gnome merchant who was moments from being put into the orc cooking pot."Who are you?" you ask.The gnome replies, "My name is Shekelstein Gnomeberg! A merchant by trade, but I've dabbled in both orc law and birdfolk law. I can share my wisdom with you, if you stop them from eating me!""Shut up, merchant!" one of the orc cooks snarls, trying to push the gnome into the pot, but you intervene and save him."Tell me, how do I handle this?" you ask the gnome."The answer is simple: you must race-mix! By combining your superior human ingenuity with orcish brute strength, you can add diversity to the gene pool, creating a more tolerant, docile, and easier-to-control hybrid race," Gnomeberg explains."Is... is that a good thing?" you ask, confused."Well, it's good for us," Gnomeberg replies with a smirk, quickly correcting himself, "I mean, it's good for everyone!"> 1. "All right, as a lawful good paladin, I must adhere to the local laws... and consider this racemixing approach."> 2. "You know, on second thought, put the gnome back into the cooking pot."> 3. "Gnomeberg, you seem like a smart fellow, and I cannot see myself losing with you as my advisor."> _
>>6035131> 2. "You know, on second thought, put the gnome back into the cooking pot."Colonize and civilize the orcsEnforce monogamy
>>6035131>Bird LawKek, nice ref> 2. "You know, on second thought, put the gnome back into the cooking pot."
>>6035131 3. "Gnomeberg, you seem like a smart fellow, and I cannot see myself losing with you as my advisor." 1. "All right, as a lawful good paladin, I must adhere to the local laws... and consider this racemixing approach."What a helpful fellow
This is going to be fun for a one shot. 1. "All right, as a lawful good paladin, I must adhere to the local laws... and consider this racemixing approach."
>>6035131>>1. "All right, as a lawful good paladin, I must adhere to the local laws... and consider this racemixing approach."
> 3. "Gnomeberg, you seem like a smart fellow, and I cannot see myself losing with you as my advisor."retard mc will be funnier
> 3. "Gnomeberg, you seem like a smart fellow, and I cannot see myself losing with you as my advisor."Also we should ask how much of the law we can change/influence? Like can we ban the eating of people?
>>6035131>1. "All right, as a lawful good paladin, I must adhere to the local laws... and consider this racemixing approach.">>6035158>Bird Law>Kek, nice refwhat's the reference ?
>>6035365>what's the reference ?
>>6035365>>6035369Didn't even make that connection actually, I was thinking of Charlie in It's Always Sunny when he went to court.
>>6035157>>6035158>>6035333>>6035335>>6035349>>6035358>>6035363>>6035365>>6035369>>6035417"All right, as a lawful good paladin, I must adhere to the local laws... and consider this racemixing approach," you sigh. Contrary to popular belief, "paladinin' ain't easy", just as Sir Ice of House T had proclaimed in one of his famous battle hymns. "Since I'm their chieftain now, how much of the law can I change or influence? Can I ban the eating of people?""You need to be more sneaky... I mean, subtle when subverting local laws and traditions, or they will start 'noticing'," Gnomeberg advises. "My tribe has been working hard for years to change the archaic, unfair, anti-gnomitic age of consent laws prevalent in society. But we keep getting expelled and kicked out of kingdoms when they start 'noticing'," he sighs. "Sometimes we even get rounded up and end up in cooking pots.""Very tragic," you say, not quite understanding the long-nosed gnome merchant's problem with the existing age of consent laws, but deciding to drop the matter for now. You turn your attention back to the orcs, wondering how you can change their violent cannibalistic tribe for the better.> 1. "I will honor orc law and accept the chieftain's harem."> 2. "I accept the role of chieftain, but I will enforce monogamy and choose only one wife."> _
>Azov the DefilerShouldn’t these be pig orcs then?
>>6035558>As chieftan, civilize the orcs into becoming more human. It only makes sense. The old chief lost to a human which means that humans and their ways are stronger than orcs
>>6035558>Harem>Inquire as to whether or not they eat other Orcs
>>6035578Support. ‘’Unless I am mistaken- the strongest lead- so what the strongest believe must mean something’’
>>6035558>1. "I will honor orc law and accept the chieftain's harem."> Lead the orc tribe away from your homeland so they won't cause trouble thereWe'll raid hostile nations for a while and see how things develop over time. Since we'll be spawning mongrels it's not proper to remain in our homeland.
>>6035578>>6035586>As chieftan, civilize the orcs into becoming more human. It only makes sense. The old chief lost to a human which means that humans and their ways are stronger than orcs. >To that end, I will honor orc law and accept the chieftain's harem.
>>6035558>2. "I accept the role of chieftain, but I will enforce monogamy and choose only one wife."
>"I will honor orc law and accept the chieftain's harem."And a harem for the gnome
>>6035564
>>6035578>>6035586>>6035615>>6035620>>6035689>>6035729>>6035754>>6035787"I will honor orc law and accept the role of chieftain," you announce to the gathered orcs, "As your new chieftain, I will civilize our tribe into becoming more human. It only makes sense. The old chief lost to a human, which means that humans and their ways are stronger than orcs.""But humans diddle sheep!" one of the orcs protests.Meanwhile, a female orc casually chops off the former chieftain Azov the Defiler's head and begins cooking it. You can't help but feel (1) lowkey disturbed by the casual cannibalism of their own kind, (2) notice the difference between Azov, a classic pig-like orc, and the greenskin sub-race that makes up the rest of the tribe, and (3) find yourself pondering how to defend the human race from sheep-diddling allegations.> 1. Humans don't diddle sheep... well, a few do, but definitely not all of us!> 2. It's often said that humans diddle three sheep a year. But that's just a statistical error. The average human diddles zero sheep per year. Sheep-diddler Georg, who lives in Welshland and diddles over ten thousand a day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.> 3. That's just elven propaganda spread to make humans look bad.> 4. Ah, the old sheep-diddling myth. One guy gets caught, and suddenly we're all sheep diddlers.> 5. Well, if we’re comparing vices, at least we don't eat other humans.> 6. Sheep-diddling? That’s a rural problem. I'm more of a city guy.> _
>>6035840>ignore the sheep-diddling topic>ask Gnomeberg what he thinks should be legal and not legal to diddle
>>6035840> 4. Ah, the old sheep-diddling myth. One guy gets caught, and suddenly we're all sheep diddlers.
>>6035894‘’I’m sure there been one Ork that did something stupid- dose that make you all horse diddlers as the elves think? I think not, also I think we should give the old ceift a barrial, I know he would not have done it for me but (thinks before finally speaking) doing the right thing makes you stronger in the long run
>>6035840>4. Ah, the old sheep-diddling myth. One guy gets caught, and suddenly we're all sheep diddlers.Also, if "seven-foot-tall sturdy she-orcs" wasn't an exaggeration,> Eye the tallest and sturdiest she-orc of the harem and say "Well call me cured since someone's caught my attention enough that I won't be thinking about sheep again"Play it off for laughs and change the subject
>>6035953Change mine to this- support.
>>6035953Supporting
>>6035840>3. That's just elven propaganda spread to make humans look bad.
>>6035840i'd ask shekelstein gnomeberg but i have a feeling that i know what he'll say:>1. orc society needs to stop being sheepfuckerphobic and will dedicate a month to sheepfucker pride>2. if an orc wants to identify as a sheep, that's valid>3. if an orc child ever says "baaa", they are expressing their authentic sheep self. they are to immediately have wool and horns implanted to help their body match their identity>4. any hateful orcs who protest against rules 1, 2 or 3 are to be boiled alive in the pot
>>6035893>>6035894>>6035901>>6035953>>6035975>>6036430>>6036679"Ah, the old sheep-diddling myth. One guy gets caught, and suddenly we're all sheep diddlers," you play it off for laughs and change the subject. You then eye the tallest and sturdiest she-orc of the harem and say, "Well, call me cured since someone's caught my attention enough that I won't be thinking about sheep again."The she-orc stands over seven feet tall, a solid mass of over three hundred pounds of pure green muscle. You can't help but marvel at her abs and thighs, as thick as tree roots. "I am Urza Pelviscrusher, and I was the top wife of Azov the Defiler!" she bellows, looking down at you with a fierce gaze. "Take off your armor, human. It's mating time!"> 1. "You mean... right now? In front of everyone? I... I'm not sure I can get it up under such pressure."> 2. "I... I'd prefer a dinner date first. Wait, I think I heard some orcs say, 'Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys.' Oh, they were talking about Azov's meat, weren't they?! Never mind."> 3. "I should warn you, humans have the largest penis-to-body ratio among primates. For example, a chimp might weigh over 400 pounds but only have a 1.5-inch penis when erect, while even a 120-pound human might be swinging a 9-incher. Why do I know so much about penises? Don't judge me."> 4. "As a lawful good paladin, I will follow my sacred duty to preserve the local laws... and JAM IT IN!"> 5. "Just for the record, do you eat humans? What? You've eaten hundreds of humans... including babies?! Forget I asked. Silly question. My bad."> 6. "I need a moment to process this. Maybe a quick breather before... mating time? Is there a manual or a guidebook for this? I'm feeling a bit lost here."> 7. "Pelviscrusher is just a funny, quirky, ironic title that has nothing to do with something you have done, right? Right?!"> _
>>6037109> 4. "As a lawful good paladin, I will follow my sacred duty to preserve the local laws... and JAM IT IN!"> If the rest of you aren’t going to give us some privacy, at least make enough room for me to take my time wrestling Urza into submission. I’ll make sure she feels like a woman by the end of this.
>>6037109She needs to wine and dine us first!
>>6037169supporting
>>6037169+1, this qst is hilarious
>>6037109>4. "As a lawful good paladin, I will follow my sacred duty to preserve the local laws... and JAM IT IN!"
>>6037109>> 4. "As a lawful good paladin, I will follow my sacred duty to preserve the local laws... and JAM IT IN!">> If the rest of you aren’t going to give us some privacy, at least make enough room for me to take my time wrestling Urza into submission. I’ll make sure she feels like a woman by the end of this.Try to make our way on top or behind her. I have a feeling that letting her ride is one way to break a horse
>>6037109>> 2. "I... I'd prefer a dinner date first. Wait, I think I heard some orcs say, 'Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys.' Oh, they were talking about Azov's meat, weren't they?! Never mind."
>>6037169>>6037184>>6037201>>6037273>>6037290>>6037383>>6037834"As a lawful good paladin, I will follow my sacred duty to preserve the local laws... and JAM IT IN!" you declare, though you can't help but feel a bit self-conscious as the entire tribe stares at you. "Could we maybe get some privacy?""No," the orcs reply in unison. "The new chieftain must prove his virility before the tribe, or be forever condemned as having a micro-penis!"Urza Pelviscrusher steps forward and commands, "On your back, human! You are tiny, so I am going to do you in the AMAZON POSITION!"You gulp, envisioning over three hundred pounds of solid green muscle on top of you. Your pelvis is in imminent danger! You have a feeling that letting her ride is one way to break a horse and quickly try to negotiate, "Can I be on top or behind you instead?""No," Urza Pelviscrusher replies firmly. "The sub must be on the bottom as per orc law!""Fine," you sigh, starting to remove your armor. Turning to the rest of the tribe, you add, "If the rest of you aren’t going to give us some privacy, at least make enough room for me to take my time wrestling Urza into submission. I’ll make sure she feels like a woman by the end of this."> Roll D20
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>6037916
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>6037916Weird that she assumes the new chieftain is the sub. I guess it’ll make for a spicy fight for dominance.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>603791620?
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>6037916
Also I would just like to say that I am REALLY tempted to draw a series of barely blue-board acceptable panels that illustrate Urza disrobing/strip-teasing as she delivers her lines from the past couple updates.
Rolled 9 (1d20)Remind these orcs that we CRUSHED their chief
>>6038112Dew it
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>6037916
>>6038112do it anon
>>6037917>>6037949>>6037961>>6038112>>6038145>>6038158>>6038161>>6038380"Race-mix! Race-mix! Race-mix!" chants Shekelstein Gnomeberg quite gnomishly, as you square off against Urza Pelviscrusher, the widow of the old chieftain, Azov the Defiler."Shut up, merchant," grunts one of the orcs, giving the long-nosed gnome a bonk on the head that quickly silences him.You're not one for public displays and would vastly prefer some privacy, but as a lawful good paladin, you respect the local laws, and orc law insists this spectacle occur before the entire tribe. You recall the wisdom of the legendary paladin, Sir Ice of House T: "Paladinin' ain't easy." In fact, paladinin' is hard—rock hard at the moment.With a clatter, your last piece of armor hits the ground, and you stand as naked as the day you were born, just like Urza Pelviscrusher. The assembled orcs gasp at the sight of your impressively thick and rock-hard member. "How are you so big?" they marvel.In a morose tone, you explain, "Humans have the largest penis-to-body ratio of all primates. You'll see 7-feet-tall orcs with mere 3-inchers, while a 5-foot-11 human might be sporting a thick, hard 9-incher. And it's often sung in battle hymns that once you go human, you don't go back."The female orcs stare at your erect manhood appreciatively with clear fascination and interest, while the male orcs appear intimidated and nervous. "How can we ever compete?" they whisper among themselves, suddenly afflicted with awe and an inferiority complex.You fix your gaze on Urza, the widow of the orc chieftain you slew, continuing, "Paladins take vows of celibacy. It requires immense willpower to remain celibate in these challenging times. That willpower and pent-up energy can transform into massive raw power." You wrestle the 300+ pound, muscle-thick orc woman to the ground, channeling a lifetime's worth of sexual frustration and willpower, finally letting loose. "I'm the top," you whisper confidently, and JAM IT IN!> 1. The intense ordeal lasts for hours until a thoroughly exhausted Urza submits and acknowledges your human paladin supremacy.> 2. Gnomeberg presents you with a medal for race-mixing, colonizing the orcs, and being of great service to his tribe. He also calls you a 'real mensch', whatever that means.> 3. Urza, recognizing her womb has been fertilized by your superior human seed, pledges her undying loyalty to you, solidifying your rule over the tribe.> 4. The orcs, both fearful and respectful, vow to follow your every command without question. They even erect a statue of you mating pressing Urza, forever immortalizing your taming of the old chieftain's widow.> 5. The orcs organize a great feast in honor of their new chieftain. Famished after your intense session, you and Urza share the main meal together—a serving of pork. However, your heart sinks when you notice Azov's corpse is missing.> 6. You ask your horse if he is proud of you. He neighs indifferently in response.> _
>>6038461>3. Urza, recognizing her womb has been fertilized by your superior human seed, pledges her undying loyalty to you, solidifying your rule over the tribe.
>>6038461>> 1. The intense ordeal lasts for hours until a thoroughly exhausted Urza submits and acknowledges your human paladin supremacy.>> 3. Urza, recognizing her womb has been fertilized by your superior human seed, pledges her undying loyalty to you, solidifying your rule over the tribe.>> 5. The orcs organize a great feast in honor of their new chieftain. Famished after your intense session, you and Urza share the main meal together—a serving of pork. However, your heart sinks when you notice Azov's corpse is missing.>> 6. You ask your horse if he is proud of you. He neighs indifferently in response.
>>6038461>1. The intense ordeal lasts for hours until a thoroughly exhausted Urza submits and acknowledges your human paladin supremacy.> 2. Gnomeberg presents you with a medal for race-mixing, colonizing the orcs, and being of great service to his tribe. He also calls you a 'real mensch', whatever that means.> 3. Urza, recognizing her womb has been fertilized by your superior human seed, pledges her undying loyalty to you, solidifying your rule over the tribe.> 6. You ask your horse if he is proud of you. He neighs indifferently in response.
>>6038461>1. The intense ordeal lasts for hours until a thoroughly exhausted Urza submits and acknowledges your human paladin supremacy.> 2. Gnomeberg presents you with a medal for race-mixing, colonizing the orcs, and being of great service to his tribe. He also calls you a 'real mensch', whatever that means.> 3. Urza, recognizing her womb has been fertilized by your superior human seed, pledges her undying loyalty to you, solidifying your rule over the tribe.> 6. You ask your horse if he is proud of you. He neighs indifferently in response.RACE-MIX! RACE-MIX! RACE-MIX FOR GOD!!! Welp, this was a glorius one-shot and we became the dream of every terrible wannabe Iseaki protagonist everywhere, have a harem, have sex, become a king and rule for the rest of your life in splendour.
>>6038461>1. The intense ordeal lasts for hours until a thoroughly exhausted Urza submits and acknowledges your human paladin supremacy.> 4. The orcs, both fearful and respectful, vow to follow your every command without question. They even erect a statue of you mating pressing Urza, forever immortalizing your taming of the old chieftain's widow.>Title Unlocked: Orc Splitter
>>6038644>Title Unlocked: Orc SplitterIncredible.
>>6038644>>6038543orc splitter
>>6038644lmao, I'll tweak my vote to +1 thisThe first few panels are coming along reasonably well, hoping to have something to show for it before too long
>>6038461>> 5. The orcs organize a great feast in honor of their new chieftain. Famished after your intense session, you and Urza share the main meal together—a serving of pork. However, your heart sinks when you notice Azov's corpse is missing.Eating orcs and eating out orcs lol
>1. The intense ordeal lasts for hours until a thoroughly exhausted Urza submits and acknowledges your human paladin supremacy.> 2. Gnomeberg presents you with a medal for race-mixing, colonizing the orcs, and being of great service to his tribe. He also calls you a 'real mensch', whatever that means.> 3. Urza, recognizing her womb has been fertilized by your superior human seed, pledges her undying loyalty to you, solidifying your rule over the tribe.> 6. You ask your horse if he is proud of you. He neighs indifferently in response.
>>6038461>> 6. You ask your horse if he is proud of you. He neighs indifferently in response.
The first panels are ready, the spiciness should increase as more comeHope Urza's up for a rematch every night going forward
>>6039530Nice
>>6040490Thanks, here's the next couple panels. Best is still to come, of course.Hoping QM will continue the quest so I can get more hornyposting inspiration.
>>6038461>1. The intense ordeal lasts for hours until a thoroughly exhausted Urza submits and acknowledges your human paladin supremacy.> 2. Gnomeberg presents you with a medal for race-mixing, colonizing the orcs, and being of great service to his tribe. He also calls you a 'real mensch', whatever that means.> 3. Urza, recognizing her womb has been fertilized by your superior human seed, pledges her undying loyalty to you, solidifying your rule over the tribe
>>6045799support>>6040975beautiful art, are you indonesian gentleman by any chance?
>>6050177I appreciate the compliment anon.I'm not indonesian gentleman, I QM the Fate Akeldama redux quest that's been off the board for a while (but hasn't been abandoned).I've also been entertaining the thought of writing updates for this quest if the QM doesn't come back soon.The next 4 panels are coming along well
Tallying the votes>>60384883>>60384891, 3, 5, 6>>60385061, 2, 3, 6>>60385431, 2, 3, 6>>60386441, 4, orc splitter>>6038671orc splitter>>60386791, 2, 3, 4, 6, orc splitter>>6038695orc splitter>>60387035>>60387701, 2, 3, 6>>60387746>>60457991, 2, 3>>60501771, 2, 3we get1: 8 instances2: 6 instances3: 8 instances4: 2 instances5: 2 instances6: 6 instancesorc splitter: 4 instancesI'll try to dodge the blue-board ban-hammer as best I can
"Unff!" Urza grunted as you wrestled her to the ground. "Not bad human, your speed surprised me." Locking your lower back in place with her strong legs, she adds, "But if speed is all you got, you won't stay on top for long." Trying to dig her clawlike fingernails into your shoulders, she pulls you toward her face until you can feel her warm breath as she says, "And we're not stopping until I'M satisfied!""I'm drawing from a lifetime's supply of erotic energy so don't worry, I'll have more than enough endurance to handle you. Try to keep up." You banter back."We'll see how long you stay this cocky." She scoffs, but her fierceness lapses in a moan as you ramp up your efforts.The intense ordeal lasts for hours, and you find yourself getting a mite annoyed at the orc tribe's hooting and hollering as they give unsolicited live commentary. It also strikes you as a questionable custom that even the small orclings feast their eyes on the torrid display. Urza struggles hard to get on top of you and regain dominance, but she's unsuccessful in the end. Thoroughly exhausted, Urza submits and acknowledges your human paladin supremacy.You get a peculiar premonition as you finish, where the phrase "Title Unlocked: Orc Splitter" solidifies in your mind for a good few seconds before fading. What could it mean, you wonder. Urza meanwhile lies peacefully on the ground with a smile and vacant expression on her face.Having regained his senses after being bonked on the head, Gnomeberg presents you with a medal for race-mixing, colonizing the orcs, and being of great service to his tribe. He also calls you a 'real mensch', whatever that means.Urza, recognizing her womb has been fertilized by your superior human seed, pledges her undying loyalty to you, solidifying your rule over the tribe.You ask your horse if he is proud of you. He neighs indifferently in response.Now that that's settled, you've made a strong impression on the orc tribe. What will you do next:> 1. All of this "exercise" has made you hungry again, so you'll order a feast.> 2. You order the tribe to follow your example and give attention to their mates... in private. Striking down Azov and about a dozen of their warriors put a noticeable dent in their population.> 3. You'll ask an elderly orc what brought them to these lands in the first place. Orcs haven't been common in your kingdom of late.> 4. You'll get acquainted with the rest of the harem.> 5. Ask Gnomeberg about the goods he was selling in the village.> _
>>6051934Amazing, IT LIVES! In that case, > 2. You order the tribe to follow your example and give attention to their mates... in private. Striking down Azov and about a dozen of their warriors put a noticeable dent in their population.> 3. You'll ask an elderly orc what brought them to these lands in the first place. Orcs haven't been common in your kingdom of late.
