Your name is RONALD "MAC" MCDONALD. You and your two friends, DENNIS REYNOLDS and CHARLES "CHARLIE" KELLY own 46 percent of PADDY'S PUB, a bar the three of you bought way back when. You think you live a pretty SWEET LIFE bartending at Paddy's while sharing an apartment with Dennis. You've had your UPS (banging some choice puss) and your DOWNS (your friends discovering said puss belonged to a transgender woman who still had her penis), but your LIFE remains pretty SWEET.WEBSITEhttps://baneofjustin.questSUPTGhttps://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=baneqm
02:15 AMOn a SaturdayPhiladelphia, PAHowever, tonight is a threat to the SWEETNESS of your LIFE. Earlier tonight, you were chatting up a VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN at Paddy's. She was actually pretty into your charm which, admittedly, cannot be said for the majority of women you interact with. In fact, she was the one to suggest you should bring her back to your place. You did. Unfortunately, Dennis was at your place at the same time.Now, you are laying in bed listening to Dennis helping himself to what should have been your spoils. That bastard. That devilishly handsome bastard. You've got to get back at him... but how?You should... (CHOOSE ONE)>Make a racket.>Watch a movie.>Leave the apartment.>Call CHARLIE. (Write-in!)>Call SWEET DEE. (Write-in!)>Call FRANK. (Write-in!)>Or maybe... (Write-in!)
>>6060181>Call SWEET DEE. (Write-in!)Dee hates other women and would love to get one over on Dennis. See if the two of you can dig up any dirt on the VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN.
>>6060181>Make a racket.
>>6060181>Living in apartment with another manPretty gay senpai.>Watch a movie.Put on a youtuber that screams too much at full blast and leave the home with the remote
>>6060181It’s because we weren’t attractive enough. We need to put on muscle clearly.>Start a BULK
>>6060181>>6060248Seconded. Make gains and find balance in body and mind.
>>6060181>Call CHARLIE. (Write-in!)See if your best bud wants to shoot some PROJECT BADASS with you. He LOVES that shit, dude
>>6060181make a racket
>>6060420>>6060248combining these two. Make a racket working out.
>>6060181>Call SWEET DEE. (Dig up dirt)>>6060201>Make a racket.>>6060215>>6060420>>6060422>Watch a movie. (YouTuber edition)>>6060231>Start a BULK.>>6060248>>6060265>>6060422>Call CHARLIE. (Project Badass)>>6060356Looks like Mac will do as Mac does. Writing!
>>6060626Yeah, that sounds like the perfect comeback. Dennis always complains that you make too much noise when working out. You get up out of bed and pop a WHITESNAKE CD into your CD PLAYER. Charlie and you both love this album. Better yet, Dennis hates it. Man, these are some SWEET TUNES. (+1 LIFE SWEETNESS)Your SWEET LIFE METER is at 5 out of 10. If the meter hits 0, you die.SWEET LIFE METER: +++++-----CURRENT STATUS EFFECTS: CHILD OF GOD(+1 LIFE SWEETNESS), BADASS MACHO MAN(+1 LIFE SWEETNESS)"Hnngh, one. Hnnngh.. two. Hnnnrngh... three!" You attempt to do 100 consecutive pushups. You're struggling to get to 10, but your grunting is making a big racket. You imagine that you'd grunt better and louder if you had some sort of machine that would punch you if you tried to slow down. Yeah, something that'd pound your ass if you thought about giving up. You save this idea for later; it might be useful.Unfortunately, it doesn't seem as if the noise you're making is slowing Dennis down at all. You can actually hear his smug self probably saying something like, Nice try, Mac. I know you're so strong and good looking, but I won't admit it. I'm just going to keep sexing up this girl. Ha ha. That bitch. Now what?You should... (CHOOSE ONE)>Eat something.>Think of a new scheme.>Leave the apartment.>Call CHARLIE. (Write-in!)>Call SWEET DEE. (Write-in!)>Call FRANK. (Write-in!)>Or maybe... (Write-in!)
>>6060684>>Think of a new scheme.
>>6060684>Call CHARLIE. (Write-in!)Time to channel that anger you feel at Dennis and hate for yourself towards Charlie instead of dealing with it. Yell at him for not completing all his "Charlie work" at the pub. If he did, make up some new "charlie work" and act like you told him to do it a week ago
>>6060684>Or maybe... (Write-in!)>Play Dennis's CD recordings of his band, Stud Buds, at full blast. He's their vocalist, and a terrible one at that. Their "hit," I Want a Woman to Like Me, should do the trick.
>>6060684>>Call FRANK. (Write-in!)Its time to get serious about getting stronger. Maybe he knows someone who has brazilian horse steroids
>>6060684>>Call SWEET DEE. (Write-in!)+1 to >>6060201
>>6060708This sounds good.
>>6060684>Think of a new scheme.>>6060688>Call CHARLIE. (Blame game)>>6060708>>6060815>Play Stud Buds CD.>>6060729>Call FRANK. (Steroids plug)>>6060743>Call SWEET DEE. (Dig up dirt)>>6060783Writing!
>>6061195God damn it. This is not working. The anger that has slowly been building up inside of you is fit to burst. Your eyes burn from the primal McDonald rage. You need to bust all this anger all over someone. But who?..."Yello." Charlie's friendly voice somehow makes you angrier."God damn it, Charlie. God damn it.""Mac?""Charlie, you— you..." It occurs to you that you actually have no reason to be mad at Charlie. Gotta save face. "You didn't do all the Charlie work tonight.""What? Mac, what are you talking about?""You cleaned the bathrooms?""Yeah. Well, not the yuck puddle, but—""Cleaned the soda gun?""That one was hard. I had to use Frank's toe knife to get all the gunk—""Turned the carbon monoxide detecter off?""Dude, how are you remembering all of this? It's honestly kinda flattering—""God DAMN IT, Charlie! There's gotta be something you forgot to do.""Mac, calm down.""Charlie, don't tell me to—""CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" Charlie's voice actually gets you to calm down and shut up. "Okay. Alright. Sorry that I yelled.""No, it's cool. Did Frank hear that?""Nah, he just ate some cat food. He's out cold.""You guys gotta stop eating cat food.""How about you stop calling me and getting mad at me when you're clearly mad at Dennis?""I— what? How did you know I was mad at Dennis?""I mean, he texted everyone that he was banging a girl you brought home.""GOD DAMN IT!""See, now you know how I feel.""What do you mean 'how you feel'?""You banged the waitress!""Oh dude, remember, I wasn't really banging the waitress. I was just getting back at you!""Well, what if you did something to Dennis, and he's banging this girl because of that?" You kinda freeze for a moment upon hearing this. That actually makes a lot of sense. Has your thinking changed at all?(CHOOSE ONE)>Yeah. (Figure out what you did wrong)>Nah. (Get revenge)
>>6061230>Nah. (Get revenge)This is IASIP, after all.
>>6061230>Nah. (Get revenge)Replace all his hair conditioner with rat poison.
>>6061230>Write inWe probably know the things we did to Dennis.>Yeah. (Figure out what you did wrong)If it was a big enough slight.>Nah. (Get revenge)If it was small and Dennis is being really petty.
>>6061230>Nah. (Get revenge)
>>6061230>Nah. (Get revenge)But covered up as if you're going to make things right only to switch up and take revenge
>>6061235Correct and +1
>>6061230>>Yeah. (Figure out what you did wrong)Of course, he is just getting back at you. You are not getting cucked its just revenge, a stud like you cant get cucked.
>>6061230>>Nah. (Get revenge)
>>6061230>Nah. (Get revenge)>>6061235>>6061238>>6061258>>6061264>>6061441>>6061708>Write-in! (Decide after figuring out)>>6061251>Yeah. (Figure out what you did wrong)>>6061628Writing!
>>6061978"Nah dude, fuck that noise. I'm getting back at him.""You know man, I probably would too," Charlie replies. "Hey, can I get in on this?""On what? Getting revenge on Dennis?""Yeah. I mean, I never really got back at him for sleeping with the waitress.""Oh yeah. Then, sure bro," You're unsure whether Charlie will really be of any use, but at least you can use him for more dangerous plans. Uh, not that anything is too dangerous for you, but you know, you're a busy man and all. "So, got any ideas?""Okay I was thinking, what if we kidnapped him...""Uh huh.""...while he's banging her— he's still banging her, right?" You listen... yep."Yep.""Okay, so he's taken off guard, and then we toss him in the car—""Woah, car?" You interrupt. "Whose car?""Well, Dee's obviously.""Ohhhh, right, yeah. Keep going.""And then we bring him back to the bar, and then we tie him up to a chair, and then we cut off his testicles—""Woah, Charlie—""—and then we smash a few bottles on his head—""Charlie—""—and then we light a match, and then—""Charlie, I'm going to stop you right there. We're not killing Dennis.""We're not? Oh, yeah, sorry, we're not. Yeah, totally. Sorry man, you know how I get when I think about everyone banging the waitress.""Yeah, I know dude. We gotta think of a better plan." What do you recommend?You both should... (CHOOSE ONE)>Trick Dennis into doing something stupid tomorrow.>Get Dennis to lose his cool.>Follow Charlie's original plan.>Add SWEET DEE to the call. (Write-in!)>Add FRANK to the call. (Write-in!)>Or maybe... (Write-in!)
>>6061984>Get Dennis to lose his cool.We know Dennis enough to know that he's his own worst enemy and looks like a total psycho when his facade is dropped. As long as we're out of scratching distance we should be fine.Also don't call anyone else because Frank will inevitably force himself in anyways and Dee's a bird.
>>6061984>Or maybe... (Write-in!)>Add Cricket to the call.Lets use cricket in some way, he's easy enough to manipulate and cheap too, offer him 5 bucks to stab Dennis in the liver or something or steal his ranger rover and crash it into a ditch.
>>6061984>Get Dennis to lose his cool.Play that Stud Buds song. Dennis likes to announce his name and every other band member's name at the beginning of each song, so the woman he's with will know it's him.
>>6061996+1 to this>>6062044What the hell is Stud Buds bro? I don't remember this being a part of the show at all
>>6061996Ok
>>6062076>I don't remember this being a part of the show at allIt will be now.
>>6061996This
>>6061984>Get Dennis to lose his cool.>>6061996>>6062044 (Stud Buds)>>6062076>>6063393>>6063412>Add Cricket to the call. (Cricket for hire)>>6062029Honestly wouldn't have minded some Cricket action, but even so, writing!
dead quest
