Unfortunately, you are a PRINCESS. You have been locked in a TOWER for as long as you can remember. Even though you don't know it, today is the day you come of age. This is also unfortunate. It would be a good idea to escape.What do you do?
>>6076109>slay thyself
>>6076109Check on the DRAGON, where is the DRAGON?
Slay,,,thyself?Thee can hardly slay anything! Thee art a PRINCESS not a HERO or a SLAYER. Such a silly notion.Besides you would need a ITEM that could accomplish such violence.
>>6076116>Open the chest
>>6076119A yes! The chest! It has sat there for as long as you remember. It is your oldest and dearest friend. Sometimes you and it have TEA together. It's an excellent listener.But in all this time you never thought to open it!
>>6076126After apologizing to your dear friend for being so...intimate, you open it up and peer at it's insides. It's beautiful. They should have sent a POET.But what is inside?
>>6076127An slightly smaller chest.
>>6076129+1, it is our friend's child!
>>6076129>A slightly smaller chestIt's gonna turn into a Matryoshka chest KEK
>>6076129With all the nursemaid skills you lack having never had a basic treasure chest obstetrics class or even human sex ed, you deliver a beautiful bouncing baby chest into the world.But what's this! Your friend doesn't appear to be moving! In fact, it lays there like an inanimate piece of wood meant for holding items! NO! Can it be? Your only friend in the world dying in childbirth. You don't know what to do. No one ever prepared you for this. Come back to me. Come back to me, damnit. No. Not like this.
>>6076136>The baby chest grows teeth and starts hopping around!
>>6076146This is so sad...We must adopt the baby chest as our own.
>>6076136Threaten to tell on the chest to their parents if they don't get better immediately. This is a ROYAL command!
>>6076155Lookit that little guy! I'm sure you'll be all cavorting with him just as soon as you get over the heartrending loss of your best friend in the whole world.Meanwhile, what's the little guy's name?
>>6076245Chester. He will be marvelous.
>>6076248>+1Chester is the best there is. We owe it to our friend to raise him right.
>>6076248>
>>6076258Marvelous Chester!
Several hours of emotional processing later.Unfortunately, you are still a PRINCESS in a TOWER.Fortunately, you are now the adoptive parent figure of CHESTER THE MARVELOUS.It is unclear if this puts you any closer to escape.
>>6076271Uh...is there like...a door anywhere? I mean, they didn't literally build the tower around you right?
>>6076271Try bashing the window bars, using Chester as a battering ram! Yay!
>>6076271See if Chester has anything inside of him that we can use. If he has razor teeth we could use him as a makeshift saw to peer outside
>>6076272You are a PRINCESS. You are not an ARCHITECAT. So, you don't know how TOWERS get built. But you do know there is a DOOR at one side of your cell. Just past the remains of your best friend (who you respectfully move aside with all the deference due something someone doesn't want to draw anymore).Twice a day food comes in through a little hole in the DOOR, but you have never seen it open.
>>6076345Chester is locked. Meaning you cannot currently see inside and he has to communicate through the adorable art of mime. Maybe you will be able to find a key or someone who can pick the lock? You could try to break the lock, but that might be rude to your son.
>>6076563...Have you TRIED opening it?
>>6076566Have you tried opening it?Damnit, Jim, you're a PRINCESS not a DOORMAN or a ROGUE or a FACILITIES ENGINEER.So...ummm...no. No you have not tried opening it.
>>6076576So...try?
>>6076576Try really really hard to convince yourself the door is EVIL and you should not interact with it in any way.
>>6076585Summoning up all your spirit you try the DOOR.It slowly swings open with a long, loud, creak.You did it! You actually did it! Maybe you have a knack for this! Maybe you didn't always have to be a PRINCESS! Maybe you could be an ADVENTURER or PIRATE or POSTAL WORKER! Maybe you are beginning to think you have a significant issue with learned helplessness. Maybe you...Maybe...Wait...What is THAT!?Oh.Oh no.Better think quick!
>>6076632lets play pretend! place your princess hat on its head.
>>6076632Run away!
>>6076632GIT'IM
>>6076632SCREAM REALLY LOUDLY
>>6076634Good thinking! Surely your PRINCESS HAT! Your prized possession will bring an air of civility, nobility, and dignity to this...whatever the hell this is. After all! You wear a PRINCESS HAT and you are docile and helpless and have sat around in a TOWER all your life. This simply must be the power of the PRINCESS HAT!Or maybe not? Maybe this just made the situation significantly more adorable while making it no less terrifying.
>>6076667This is the part where chester lunges on the thing's throat because it hasn't eaten anything since it was born.
>>6076673Setting aside that Chester can't eat until he's unlocked, the little guy leaps to the aid of his adoptive mother giving you an excellent distraction.
>>6076704POKE HIS EYES OUT
>>6076704Tie its arms into a bow
>>6076704Tie his eyes into a bow!
>>6076704If we can reach CHESTER, try to unlock CHESTER, and avoid being eaten by him.If not, then invite the monster for TEA The monster wears a PRINCESS HAT, surely she must be a beautiful PRINCESS, too.
>>6076717Finally! Something that is in your wheelhouse. As a PRINCESS you are naturally talented in bow tying, weaving, decorative tablesetting, and other such princessly arts. This thing won't know what hit it.Springing into action (despite your shamefully uncovered head), you quickly employ the ancient yet rarely used are of combat macrame to subdue your foe.
>>6077168Put the hat back on your head to hide the shame!
>>6077177All is right with the world once again and no one will have to see your shameful shameful bare head.
>>6077181Look around now that we've opened the door and subdued the threat. What's there to be found? Any stairs?
>>6077181Bat our eyes, traipse over to the window, and proceed to call for the help of a young hero talented in princess-tower-rescues
>>6077181Let's go now. Take chester and skedaddle.
>>6077238You skedaddle away from the spider cat with Chester the Marvelous close on your heels.The tower is a labyrinth that seems much bigger on the inside than the outside and you and your son wonder through twisting identical hallways until you emerge into a large room. On the other side of the room you see a doorway but there is a MOAT OF LAVA between you and the door, An evil looking BIRD stares at you from its perch atop a CHANDA- CHANDI? uh... LIGHTY THING.
>>6077256You know that bird looks like he'd make for a great lockpick to open Chester with
>>6077261An excellent observation! As a PRINCESS you know about the many uses of BIRDS and WOODLAND CREATURES to perform all sorts of amazing feats.However, this bird in particular looks EVIL as though it might be the FAMILIAR of something nefarious. As such it is immune to your natural charms. You will have to be clever.
>>6076146
>>6077256As a PRINCESS I have a SONG which I am to SING in act 1 to lament the missing WHITE KNIGHT and attract BIRDS and other WOODLAND CREATURES. However those critters are GOOD and they make a statement of how NAIVE and INNOCENT I am. If I sung my SONG backwards, maybe I could attract the EVIL looking BIRD?
>>6077421You begin to sing a backwards song in hopes of enticing the BIRD. You're not sure if this is a GOOD or NOBLE use of your power. But it is power you possess.
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>6077843I'm in the RED ROOM! This is a definite improvement of my SITUATION. I need to make an INTELLIGENCE check to see how much I understood from Twin Peaks when I first saw it, and how many times could I watch it without my BRAIN melting down.
>>6077843Keep on the kcor, Princess.
>>6078060[Intelligence DC 15 Fail]I'm in a RED ROOM. This looks similar to what my EX showed me once in that stupid series he raved about, which was sooo boring and confusing! I rather practiced my embroidery. That one was actually helpful with the CAT THING I so ARTFULLY TIED UP. The room is ugly. But something still whispers me that I need to keep on SINGING BACKWARDS. I like to sing, but forwards, attracting charming PRINCEs, and WOODLAND CRITTERS. If I keep this on, I might get confused (roll for sanity, DC5)
>>6078207Your ROCK has summoned the ROC.It seems the chandelier was significantly further away than you first thought.
>>6078982Ask him if he can open Chester with his beak.
>>6078982Give the nice bird a pet.Also ask if a princess and a chest would be too much to carry.
>>6078982> Look at the LIGHTY THING (chandelier). Did it move at all? Did it get closer? A huge ROC just flew off it!> Pet the ROC. Backwards compared to how you would pet a WOODLAND CRITTER. The ROC is EVIL> Look at how wide the LAVA PIT is. Could you safely YEET CHESTER across the LAVA PIT yourself?> Ask the ROC for a ride to the other side if it's not too much a problem for it.> Your DIET finally have some actual use! You probably won't burden the ROC too much
>>6079055The ROC has been enchanted by your song and lifts you and Chester the Marvelous up into the air.Together you float higher and higher and higher and higher until you leave the story entirely.The End
>>6079448Damn, we never got to find out what was inside Chester.
>>6079448Thanks for running, Anon!>>6079449Chester's a mimic, we would have been eaten.
>>6079448Thank you for running QM!This was pretty enjoyable, and made me nostalgic for the old 'save the princess' threads that were scattered around 4chan.
