In the last thread, QM got his IP toggled and lost his powwuz.test test test test test
>>6083225test test test test test
Previously.You, a Goblin of the Goblinslayer universe, chanced to rescue the grievously injured Yang Wuhan, 殃污琀, "Calamity-Corrupted Corpsepearl", also known as Divine Demon, Wyrmacide, Sword Specter, Wind Incarnadine, Gore Walker, Blade Emperor, the Absolute™, &c &c.You being on the lam from (shudder) the Goblinslayer, and Yang Wuhan being on transdimensional lam from a desperate alliance of (puih) Righteous and Deviant sects, you find enough in common to form a Master-Student relationship. He now calls you his Toady (Tudi; Disciple) and you call him Young Seafood, or Seafood (Yang Shifu; Master Yang). You being from an Always Neutral Evil race and him being all ways Chaotic Evil helps: you both understand and accept each other's abuse and exploitation with a hellish harmony. You lead a lost child, Uille, to her death at Seafood's hands, because he asked for the blood of virgins, and Uille's 5. You also manage to break Seafood's World Piercing Dagger on a tree.For your idiocies, Seafood punishes you by joining you and Uille, now Gui Li, 鬼 礼, "Ghostly Propriety", in Unworldly Matrimony. Your already fractious relationship with Gui Li is made worse when you respond to her demands for grudge-debt with a guts-to-gullet BRAAAAP. Your daily performance of Conjugal Performance Ceremonies (pastebin https://rentry.org/x8a6vnmo) and your impossible gobby ChaRizzma is the only thing keeping her in check these days.Seeing your martial potential by how you broke a wondrous weapon that took 99 years to make, Young Seafood also begins to teach you the Thousand Segment Carrionpede Form, then you both go to Plague Town, aka Derreschston, so that Seafood can learn about this world's magic.In the process of skulking and stealing all over Plague Town you manage to find a Whitey Big 'At's (Deacon Omer) body and Whitey Stick (Deaconic Rule; wand of office), Plague Dedder Dust, and Sordyfagg's (Dfidé Pieté; Paladin Squire) dirty laundry, and ovver inneresten fings.While you are scouting and stealing from the Mayorate Court, a compound fortified and manned by the TownBoss (Mayor) and other commonfolk survivors, Seafood is making local business contacts...[BALANCE SHEET] >29 Dedder Dusts >§107 WTF IS §:https://rentry.org/d27rseu5[CURRENT MAIN OBJECTIVE]>Yang Wuhan still needs 56LM >22 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 70LM remaining >Current Derreschston Sus penalty -5 [THOUSAND SEGMENT CARRIONPEDE FORM]>+4(/4) Hit Chance, +2(/4) Physical Damage>Gui Li causes -1 to stat gains in Form, to a min of +1 per gain.Prevs:Ep1: http://thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2024/6051761/Ep2: http://thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2024/6068523
A perfect circle traced in blood, with geomantic cardinals marked to match, and a Lein-in-Title of a House of the Dimmed, of Earth Under Earth. One candle, minimal, of dead men's fat, melting into the eyes of a bestial skull. A Word of Invitation: Abjuration of Heaven. >sfx >...hs sh vh a a ahh Hail thee, magician. Name thy desire. "I will know your prices first. What can be got, for a soul." A bargainer? I like thee rare. For most, their fate for their desire. For thee, the earth free for thy free will. "Earth. Your dam (mother) can have the earth. I your Grandsire am the Sky." [ t̵̛͖͚e̷̹̮̽ḙ̴̢̆e̵̬̊th̶͚̀ ] Brief morsel know your PLACE "Feih. What good comes from speaking to servants. Bid your Rank Venerable here. Or whomever masters you." Dust and breath that dares to speak b̸̡̡͚̼̦̣̥̠̰͇́̿̀̾̌̏͛͌͌͂l̸̫̱̯͉̪̘͎͔̋̍a̶̡͕̤͇̍̏͗͐s̴̥̥͉͒̿͘t̵͕̠͇̙̙̃͂̾̒́͒̕͘ ̷̱̝̪͚̯̈́̌t̵̳͙͙͖̞̗̝̖͆͊̈́̓̃̂͘h̸͓͉̯̋̓̋̈́̊̿͐y̶̧̭̜̥͚͕͔̣͔̾̂̇̀̚ ̶̘͓͎̙͌̌̚ͅm̴̡̡̝̟͆ǐ̵̢̢̝͍̼̭̗͔͚͋̈̋̏͝͝n̷̬̺͍͉̉͜d̸̡̡̡͓̝̜͒̈́ ̸̙̘̘̉͂́̌̂̎͌̕͝͠a̸̧̨̛̹̳̪̪̹̰̪͂͊̌̈̍͆͝͝ͅn̵̨̢̮̼̫̟͚̹͋͑͘d̵̩̈́̋̀̽́̏̏͠͠ ̸͔̳͍͓̎f̴̛͚̂̏̔̏̾̏́͝l̴̛͔͋̿̀̈́̆̐̎ẽ̶͔̬̬͂̌̕͠ͅs̶̀̊̈̒͆̎͂͝ͅḩ̴̧̧̫̳͎͕̳̞͛̊̆̾̚ ̸̛͔̝̝͉̻̜̬̙̍̈͂F̵̙̭̟̼͈̦̀͝O̴̗̼̭̒̉͛R̶̡̹̗̱̪̰̰͖̫̋͐F̷̨͇́͒Ȇ̵̛̳̯͙̜͍͓̏̀̓ͅͅĮ̷̧̼̞̖̖͖͍͇̺̐̋̈́̓͒́̑T̶̢͙̠̪̥̉͜ "... ..." er "..." Profoundest Sorceress, Prodigious and Beautiful, how are you- "Are you gone deaf, dogsbody? I your Grandsire bade call your Overlord! Forget it! Now I will call!" Another circle, made outside the first, encompassing it, activates. This one is simpler, savager: a trench of fingerbones tracing rude address, and a known Title of Ancient Envious Vanity. ... ... "Mistress, Oneself your customer am dissatisfied. Oneself came to call with ready business, being observant of Territorial Courtesies, and am treated as a peddler at the door by this pig-addle. Not a table and a cup of tea, not even asking One's Great Name, but to One's Person, boor voice and lout hand raised! How shall you redress this." ... ..? "The mutterings of a gnat are hard to remember. "Mind blasted and flesh forfeit" was it? Mistress, One has some forty of this world's Souls in hand. One will gift them all to Yourself, to enjoy a Day's Dure at Whim 1 . In return, grant One permission to blast the mind of this for satisfaction, and to keep its body for suitable purpose. It is to be hoped that our business may resume hereafter. In good term." 1: Infernal Usages of Contractors and Traffickers. Translated: a Cosmic Second's (437.5 earth years) worth of imprisonment with hard labor enforceable by Corralage Means (crops and goads, usually), but no Grievous Means (degradation; defiling) and no Torment (crf Divine Comedy, Jade Record, Perek Helek, Hundred Paths Brahmana &c) permitted. Unless Someone finds out and manages to interfere, they are very very done.
... ... ... ... ..? "With Yourself the Mistress' permission, I would confine the soul of a failed Righteous Adherent in it. A "Son of the Charity." " !.. ... ... ..! ..? "Yes. To serve One's works. To mouth One's Truths. To eat One's filth out of Oneself should One so wish. All One bids, until the vessel fail and permit refusal. Thereafter, who can say. But till then..." .>:j ... ... .>=} O Majesty O Queen O Empress Pray TheeAAAAA Ȁ̵̧̧̨̡̨̧̧̢̧̨̧̡̢̨̨̡̨̨̢̛̛̛̛̪͔̺̝͖̪̥̮̟͖̙̹̺̳͎͓͔̺̳̻̞̣̠͙̺̝͚̰̘͖͔̭̟̦̺̤̗̥͇͈̭̻̹͕̗̯͈̺͉͔͕̗̤̟̗̗̳̬̖̻̟̭̦̥̣͙̪̖̗̙̮͓̰̪̳̺̜̟̻̬̹̖͖̘͇͖͚̰̬̥̖̱̬͙̥͉͔̫̫̩̝̼̙͕̻̰͉̙̺̪̱͉̆̔̓̌̀͌̍͒͋̍̋̈́͒̔̈́̃̌̋̑̂̈́̓̇̈́́̊̿͋̉̐̈́͑̆̎́̐̀͐̔͊͆̆͌͆͌͛̈́͊̀̋͑͋̒͒̿̐̓͊̃̂̑̑̃͂̂̽̾̋̈́̔̉́͒͂̓͐͌́̐̃̌͑̋͑͒͆͗͋̿̈́̄̊́̾̌͘̕͘̕̚͘͘̚̕̕̚͜͜͜͜͝͝͠͝͝͠͝ ̴̧̧̧̡̧̢̡̧̡̨̨̢̢̢̡̡̢̧̧̢̨̡̡̡̛͖͕̯͖̟͇̤͎̹̞̮̭͔̹̝̫̘̜̫̻̖̝̜͔̗͍̥̘̰̱̖̪̩̞͍̻̗̙̦̹̥̗͙͇̤̟̪̼̗̙̫̞̦͙̱̰͙̗̙̭̹̭̻̱͙̬̺̞̗̙̙̣̰̬͙̫̬̯̰̭͚̳̝̰̖̻̪̱̞͕̦̤̭̺̪̖̭̖̳̹̟͔̘̙̗̦̞̥̭̖̰̰͚̙̱̱͔̞͓̺̳͎̩̩̺̳͙̬̝͓̼̳͓̱̠̬͚̦̝̮͙͕̰̥͍̜̫̥͍͇̤̟̙̰̱̭̬̞͔̠̪̫̥̟̠̺͎͖͓̩͖̬̫̹͔̝̜̦̘̞̻̹̥̗͖͇͚̬̭̠̘͔̬͉̺̣̳̱̼͚̺̳͖̰̭̼̰̫͍̥͇̺̺͚̗̠͈͓̜͔̪̝͉̼͉̻͖͚̮̖̪͚̰̹̬͇͍̼̝̝̩͈̠͔̼̰͇̪͆̔̃͗͗̑̏̐̒̇͛̾̿͑͊̏̔̉̑͗̈́͆̿̓͑̉̋̾̃̊̎͋͑͒̇̓̈́̈́͑̾͗̊̒̀̿͛̓̊̈́̓̓̾̆͒̿̏͗͒̾̽̔̍̓͌͑̏̀̃̄͛͊̑̊̀̑͊̌̐̾͂̊͛̊̋̀́̈́̍̀͒́̔̾̈́͂̐͗͌̐̋̕̕̕͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͠͠͠ͅͅͅͅa̶̢̧̡̧̧̧̧̧̢̧̧̱̺̬̝̖̣͍̺͓̥̘̪̘͈̯̙̪͕͍̺̱̹̬̠̠͍͚̜̞͙̖̼͉͎̫̹̻͉̬̮͈̗͇̠͓̺̠͉͈̭̱̟͇̤̣͔̘͙͎̺͈̥͇͙͚̗̮͕̻̖͈̻̺̩̣͙͖͚͕̹̤͚̳̘̫͙̩͚̩̜͚̺̳͕̮͚͌́̋̓̍͐̌̓́͘͜͜͜͝͝ͅ ̶̢̧̢̡̧̢̧̡̡̨̡̢̧̢̡̢̨̛̛̛̛̛͙̰̤̩͈͓̱̰̬̦͓͚̙͇͓̪̳͖͚͎̠̱͎̘͎͙̤̠̜̹̮̘̗͔̘̟͉̞̘̖͚͉͕̫͉̙̩̣̳͓̦͎̦͎͈̭̥͈̯͍̭̪̞̠͈̳͖̥̻̟̰̹̤͓͙͚͎͉̤͔̰͓̼̪̳͎̣̼̪̳͎̟͍͔̫̙̤͕̯̘̬̩͈̮̳͖͈̹̜̖̖̖̥̳͓̼̞̯͔̦̳̝̱͈̦̙̜̱̖̗̤͈̖͎̦͈͈̦͔͚̗̹͉͈͕͖̥̰̱̤̗̯͈̜̩͎̝͉̟̜͎͇̥̥̬͙͉̯̞̺̙͕̗̟̍̾̐̃̀̀̑̀̿̍̏̀͌́̂̐͐̄̓̆͐̎͋̒͐́̓͛̾̑̓̈̌̇̄̈́̄͐̑̃̀̿̐̒̀̿̎͆͋͆͌͒͐̈̍̊̓͂̋̿̈́̃̈́́͂̌̾̾̔̊̈́̈̿̒͌̎̊͊̒̒͆͊̈͂̈́̂͐̔̄͆͂̔̃̄̌̀̋̄͛̀̈́͌̔̏͊͑̋̆̎͂̽̓̎̔̑͑͂̎̏̋̍̓̈̈́͑͛͆̆͗̈́̒̋̓͗̃̈́̈̏͐̈̓͂́̏͛͌͒̔̀̆̌̄̀͐̂̈́̔̀͗͂̒̓́̈́̐͋̿̄̎̊͐͑͒̋͂̃̀̃͗͗̋̌̆̂́̍̾̂͛̓͛́̽̋̒́͒̄̐͊̿̿͐͛͑́̉͋̃͊̍͗̈́̓̉̃̓̂̒̌͐̊̀́͊̀̀̂̎͛̏̄͗̀͛̀͋͂̑̍͘̕͘̚̚̕̕̕̕̚͘̚͘͘̕̚͘̚̕͘̕͘͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͠͝͠͠͠͝͝͝͠ͅͅà̵̧̡̡̢̧̨̡̢̨̧̨̧̧̧̨̢̨̢̡̡̛̛̛̛̛̛̛͕͙̺̬̤̝̪͖͍̺̦̪̹̤̥̹͙̳̖͚̻̳̱͉̺͔͍͓̱̰͇̱͍͎̭̭̫͚̥̻͙̫̤̘̱͎̘͖̼̫͚͙͚͚̥̦̟̤̞̝̙̜̺̟͇̻̹̟̳̪̺͉̞̣̠͓̤̝̯̘͚̜̦͕̪̜̩̪͓͕̮̱͇̙̟̹͖̺͍͙͍͚̘̞͖̮̞̯͓̗͖̹͖͍̺̼̙̟̤̜̘͓̹̤̹̬̮͎̯̘̞̦͓̫͍̻̜̬̞̖͎̫̫̹̜̙͉̦̱̠̖͇̩̫̯̩̙̻͈̳̣̮̩̳͈͍̰̦͉̣͈̣̭̩̮̘̰͕͛̊̀̒͂͒̾̓̇̏̓̔̾̓̃̓̇̇͆̊̏͒̾̋̐̃̋̿̐́̔̉̐̍̆͑͆͗͋̍̔̓͌͌́͑͂͆͑̏̍͒̌̀͂̂̀̀́̉͐̏̎̐̿͑̀̈́̿̑͐̈̒̍̈́͑̊͂͒͗̀̄̋̑̃̏̓̌͆̀͆̂̆̔̂̑̆̒͋̒̑̍̒̍̇͐̎̓̉͆̀̉͌̌̎̔̽́͆͆̃̈́́͐̉̈́͗̒̍͐̋̃͛͋̄͗͒̈́̍̈̾̑̾̆̀͒́̈́̿͆͗͑͑̑́̑̎͊͗̃́͊͌̍̓̌̉́̊̉̊́̆́̾̓̏̍̃̃̈͊̈̑͂̆̽́͒̔̏̃̇͌͛͗̒̎̑̈̽̈́͑̔̉̑̈́̇̏̓̓̓̓͑͗̓̍̌̀͂͗̽͘͘̕̕͘̚̚͘̕͘͘̕͘̚̕͘͘͘̚͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝ͅͅͅͅ ̴̢̢̧̨̧̧̢̧̧̢̢̨̧̡̡̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̤͉̮̺̘̩̮̰̠͈̮̳̩͖̗̯̦̤͍͙͖̪͍̰̹͎̠̫̣͔̯̞͉̬͍͇̪͙̻͍̞̩͎̬̠̥͕̖̰̮̹̮͇̼̭̝̙̪͍̮̖͖̰͔̼͕̭̜̥̖̟̜͖̖̼̰̬͖̫̞̺̗͕̘̺̞̥̺͙̳͉̬̥̗̹̦̩̘̦͕͈̮͚̺̟̬̟̩̱̤̜̼̰͖̳̭̝̠͇͇̪͚̠͕͓͔̻͍̝͓͕̖̟̯̰̯͖̥̝͉̝̭̟̩̼̯̥͈̩̳̬͔̤͇̫̣̖̰̙̙͖̩̿͐͆̋͂̌̊͑̀̎̀͗́̔͊̃̃͂̍͗͂̽͑͋̑̿͐̽̈́͒͌͒̏̋̉̓͂̾̈̾̽̏͑̈̈́̈́̆͊̿̃̍̄͋́͆̓͂̊̈͑̏̉̄̌̌̈͐̇͊́̌̈̏̌̿̽͐͒̐̂͐̈́͌̋̆̃̈́͛̍̀̍͑̊̂̾̀̋͒̓͌͐̃͋̉̑̑̋́͛̍̑̿̍̆͆́̈́̐̍͋́̏̂̿̓̽̾̌̋͒̒͋̌̀̇̌̄̓͗͑͐̌̍̈́͛̓̽͒̎̊̈́͊̈͗̓̎̾̎͆͐͋̌͊̿̊͂̉͊̌̃̈̿̀̐̏̈́͒͒͗͛̈́̈̓̈́̂̔͑͌̈́̃͌̆͗͆̕͘̕͘̕̚͘͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͠͝͝͠͝͝͠͠͝͠͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅa̵̛̍̉́͂̔͐̋̇͂͌̌̄̓́́̋̔̉͑̀̈́͊́̚̕͝͠
"How do you find your new body, MoAo (墨襖 mo4ao3; Coat of Ink, literary, Coat of Learning). " >I feel > > >Nothing "How does this compare, with your "Vampires"? " >I > > >Don't know. >Immense >yet empty. >I have my own mind >I possess this body>yet neither recognize the other.>Neither obey."Then make them obey. Learn." >Yes. >Lord. [backlore postdump ends]newcomers reply >new and roll 1D100.Writan and Xianxianigans begins in 16hrs
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>6083278Bear witness!
Don't forget to archive the last thread
>>6083361Chived.=D
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>60832781 roller anon reporting for doody o7
>>6083560well met. O7Perfect timing.
You get back to camp ... stop.Derrs sumn hurr. It feels like dat bich Gui Li, but she's always with you, riding on your shoulder. You're used to her background corner-of-your eye spookshit. Dis spookshit feelz here-n-now n diffrent.No finking, you get yer Dagga and Sicky out, start stalking towards the camp. The Carrionpede Form is not the best for sneekibreeki, since you have to go low enough to nearly brush the ground, but gets through reflex blocks and guardstances easy and killykilly. You see it: a tall shape, taller than a Humie, tall as a tall Binny (Elf; ~8ft). It's not even standing full straight yet: fing's slouching. No doubt in your mind it's a fing.It shouldn't be scary, it's a bedsheet ghost. Black bedsheet. Wiv holes cut out ferra face. Okay, juzt a plain biggy 'ole for a face. Nuffin da be fraid of. You just needz ta find Seafood and you both can take im. No doubt about that either. Unless it arreddy kilt Seafood. Then you're going to start nopeing the other way and not stopping until you run out of puke. You don't think this likely, but you take a small swig of Gnoll Glenn + Delectable Solvent, just in case. You half suspect this might be another of Seafood's doings; he did make the Corpse Mill 1 overnight, just so you can moosh up the Plague Dedders into Dedder Dust. And you have given him lots of BLOOD n dedders to date. And the Whitey Zappy Stick. And the crumped Goatface Cup. And the Bad Magic wots needled on Humie skid meats. There's no reason he can't make a... fingy out of all that. There's no reason he won't, neither. Seafood can do all kindsa shidd. YOU just need to stay alive and useful and learn his Carrionpede all up, and you'll be kicking and plupping all kinds of ass.You're still trying to see which approach might be quietest in when Seafood's current little-girl voice pipes up."Tudi. Come here." How does he fuggen do it? You wuzzent even moven r nuffin."Yah Sweetfoods. Mm here."You get out of cover, tentatively going towards his voice. Yup: Seafood's there, cross legged in front of the fing, which had been blocking your view of Seafood's hovel.You take care to doff your body and keep yerz Daggy n Sicky before presenting yourself. When you step up, you do a half kneel, hands clasped, facing Seafood. Normally you're not this formal, but normally, there's no 8' tall black bedsheet hanging around listening.Seafood gets you focussed:"Where, whom, what. Speak." You gabble, answering the prompt before it gets upgraded to a pummel.Courthouse. Fortifications. Guard. Supplies. TownBoss ready to leave; gives the guardchumps prezzies of booz n baccy candy; a semi-hidden safe, disguising an almost fully hidden Telly Popper stone tile.1: Large grindstones, a vertical one with a push handle and axle on top of a flat one.
The whole time you talk you notice the fing doesn't breathe, and the slow sway of the tatters it is wearing is not the wind.If you were any closer to dat creepy muvva and it so much as turn to look , you might have lost your nerve and just shanked it out of instinct. But you finish your report. It doesn't move the whole time.Seafood closes his eyes, lays back to process."Mo Ao."Lord.You shiver from it. There's no voice, just an 'orful feelen goin fru the inners of yer spine. "Take off your Mute Garb (mo4 yi1)."The fing draws back the part of the bedsheet covering its head, and the rest of it starts disappearing; shrinking into the gaps between bones and joints, looks like, but you're not sure, since this is creepy shit.Underneath is Bad Ugly, a fuggen 'orful eyefull, but somehow not even half as bad as with the bedsheet on.It smokes a little, all over; where dots of direct sunlight touch it the smoking is tripled."How does it feel, without the Mute Garb."Uncomfortable. Painful."Mm. Tudi.""Yas Sweetfuds.""Mo Ao."Lord."Fight."
>>6082588>chose TRAINAN>rolled 1>no nat100 from newanons+oldanons to counter>CURSEDCURSEDCURSED[C R I S I S[MO AO][Dimm Veyor Revenant][Demonic Undead] [Aberration]HP: 66, per >>6083914DMG: 10, per >>6083915Hit Chance: -15 summoning sickness, -10 aberrant existenceDodge Chance: -15 summoning sickness, -10 aberrant existenceVSTOADY GOBBS[Goblin][Thousand Segment Carrionpede Form Novice][Unhygienic]HP:12Kludge Armor: absorbing 2 out of every 3 dmg, 12/12 Dur, minus 1 Dur per 3 dmgDMG: +10 Dagga, +4 Sickle, +2 Carrionpede bonus = 16dmg totalHit Chance: +4 Carrionpede bonus, -5 Fatigue, -5 FlatfootedDodge Chance: -5 Fatigue, -5 Flatfooted Mutual cancellation of Hit and Dodge penalties for both sides makes:[MO AO]Hit Chance= -15Dodge Chance = -15VS[Toady]Hit Chance = + 4Dodge Chance = no mod[HOW FOIT][1 CHOICE 1 ROLL][CHOICE]>TIME FER SUM BIG FINKS! WATCH AND DODGE ONE TURN AND TRY FIGGER SUMN! (gain +5 to Hit and Dodge by losing the Flatfooted status.) (Plus sumfin else)>LEZZ FUGG DIS MUVVA UP! (Offense focus; higher roll chosen as Hit)>KEEP OUTY REACH FIRST! STABBY SECOND! (Defense focus; higher roll chosen as Dodge)>IMMA KLUDGE! GOT SUMN INNA POCKITSES JEZT ROIT TO REKK HIZ SHIDD! (write in; any previously mentioned items in simple combination)!!!RUNNEN NOT ALLOWED!!!!!!SEAFOOD WILL KILL YOU!!![ROLL]>2D100
>>6083932>TIME FER SUM BIG FINKS! WATCH AND DODGE ONE TURN AND TRY FIGGER SUMN! (gain +5 to Hit and Dodge by losing the Flatfooted status.) (Plus sumfin else)This thing wouldn't dare hit Seafood. Which means Seafood is excellent to put between us and it.
Rolled 41, 17 = 58 (2d100)>>6083935forgot roll
>>6083560>>6083309>>6083339 >>6083215 >>6083169 >>6082762 >>6082721 >>6082588 >>6082527 [ C R I S I S ] ATTEND ATTEND ATTEND24hrs
Rolled 54, 51 = 105 (2d100)>>6083932>TIME FER SUM BIG FINKS! WATCH AND DODGE ONE TURN AND TRY FIGGER SUMN! (gain +5 to Hit and Dodge by losing the Flatfooted status.) (Plus sumfin else)
Rolled 34, 88 = 122 (2d100)>LEZZ FUGG DIS MUVVA UP! (Offense focus; higher roll chosen as Hit)Go big or go home
Rolled 39, 49, 67, 81 = 236 (4d100)HOLD VOTES,WRITAN
Rolled 2, 2, 3, 2, 1, 3, 2, 3 = 18 (8d3)ROUND 1:MO AO ROLLED OFFENSE x 2>39-15=24>49-15=34TOADY ROLLED Bo2 DODGE AND SEARCH >54>U MIZZD BICH>52>MIZZD X2 F U•••You totally didn't expect to get thrown under the horsecarriage just after giving Shitfool a favorable report, but why are you not surprised?>Bcuz Shitfool is an always-bugghole dats whyLesson learned: bullybuggs do bad things for no reason, because unreason-ness inflicts constant fear in the victim's head. If you get out of this alive you're going to remember that.Mo Ao the Fing swipes at you like he's trying to claw or grab you; it's real tall, tentacles everywhere, didn't hesitate one second after Shitfuck said Fight, but it's moving like a biped, and clumsy. You tuck and roll backwards out of its immediate reach, hear it clench sod.You could strike back immediate, but nope: you want to see how it moves, what it can do with that stilt-walker physique. Once you have some distance you make feints left and right, and it follows you feints, tracking and predicting. So it's not stupid, just slow. It walks over or brushes away obstacles; it's always solid.It doesn't run or sprint, just walks with short lunges when it's near enough; no burst of speed, no pounce.As it chases you get up a tree, which it tears at. The destroyed foliage lets down the sun, and you see bitty parts of its face and torso twist into mist.So! The Fingy hates the sun eh! There's not a lot of sun here, but if you destroy a tree in the camp clearing, or get to the open road like 200 steps away, you could-"Hold." You both hold. You get your Dagga out though."Tudi. Stay where I can see you. Continue.">MUVVA FUGGAYou're peeved by the setback, the invention of new rules just to shit on you, but there's no time to complain. Where next to run, if not for the sunny road? Where-You run straight towards Slutpoop. Maybe you can bait the Fing into hitting him, or crash into him; maybe he'll be annoyed enough to hit it for you. You can always claim it was an accident, right? Accidents happen.The Fing actually slows as you scrabble up the roof of Shitfuck's hovel, doesn't swing at you like you thought it would.Shitfuck says to it, "Pretend I'm not here. Continue." And immediately the hands come down, clawing down planks. But youve already jumped clear.You've taken the edge off your panic, and you've got a tactic: you'll interpose the hovel between you, and counter when the Fing wastes momentum trying to get you. It will work long as the hovel's up. >Mo Ao loses 3hp per round in the sun in this form.>Hovel has 8/8 Dur, absorbing 3dmg per Dur rounded up.
Rolled 11, 39 = 50 (2d100)QM roll round2 attacks
ignore prev post, round 2 attack based on>>6084108MO AO >66HP, 10DMG>67 - 15 = 52 for attack>81 - 15 = 67 for attack>no typo; special abilityTOADY>12HP, 16DMG>Kludge Armor 12/12 Dur>Hovel 8/8 Dur>88+4+5 for attack>34+5 for defense•••Those hands look like they're made of thick glue starch, but they're tough and land heavy. You make a run around the hovel to gain distance, then into the hovel and crouch just behind Shitfuck, not touching him.When the Fing brings its limbs down to smash the hovel and everything in it, you go on the attack.You darted out a little slow, but fuggit: the hovel took all the punishment for you. Now it's time for>KILLYKILLYKILLYKILLYDIE>U TALL UGGO OYSTA BICHYou reach and get going, really givvitim: instep ankle calf knee thigh-!You finish your combo barely reaching its hips when it recovers enough to swat at you.A few tentacle ends chopped off from your rampage up its anatomy wriggle off you, squirming on the ground.nerrh[ROUND 1]>20dmg inflicted by Mo Ao>hovel absorbs 20; 3dmg per Dur, rounded up; 1/8 Dur left>Toady has 12 HP left>Kludge Armor had 12/12 Dur left>16dmg inflicted by Toady>3dmg inflicted by sunlight>Mo Ao has 47HP left[NEXT MOVE]>GIVVIDIM! (Offense focus; higher roll chosen as Hit) >DOJJIM! (Defense focus; higher roll chosen as Dodge)>KLUDGE! (Roll to dodge and improvise! Improvise what exactly? Write!)Current net bonuses for TOADY >+9 Hit>+5 DodgeCurrent net debuff on MO AO >-15 Hit>-15 Dodge[NEXT ROLL]>2D100
>>6084108>>6084105>>6083955>>6083937>>6083560 >>6083309 >>6083339 >>6083215 >>6083169 >>6082762 >>6082721 >>6082588 >>608252712 hours.
Rolled 94, 90 = 184 (2d100)>>6084140i really put us in quite a predicament didnt i?thats the price for high rolling for so long...>GIVVIDIM! (Offense focus; higher roll chosen as Hit)if we maintain dodge luck we can actually win. so lets focus on striking it down so we need less luck
>>6084145>94 and 90my redemption arc
Rolled 36, 3 = 39 (2d100)
HOLD VOTES, WRITAN
The Fing lurches on you, just not letting up.>Mo Ao rolled Offense 36-15 = 21vs>Toady rolled Defense 90+5 = 95The first swipe misses you with loads to spare. But the second! A reckless follow-up, with tentacles whipping in every->Mo Ao rolled Offense 3-15 = 0vs>Toady rolled Offense 94+5 = 99Nevermind! Dat dum muvva tripped on it's own wormy bits! TAKE IT ALL YOU UGGLA MUVVAYou get it good again! Full combo! You think most Humies would be dead already if they weren't Fighty. The Fing's still on its feet, and coming again. Not bleeding, full motion. You're starting to think it has no gutts in there.[ROUND 2] >16dmg inflicted by Toady >Mo Ao has 31HP left >hovel has 1/8 Dur left >Toady has 12 HP left >Kludge Armor had 12/12 Dur left [NEXT MOVE] >GIVVIDIM! (Offense focus; higher roll chosen as Hit) >DOJJIM! (Defense focus; higher roll chosen as Dodge) >KLUDGE! (Roll to dodge and improvise! Improvise what exactly? Write!) Current net bonuses for TOADY >+9 Hit >+5 Dodge Current net debuff on MO AO >-15 Hit >-15 Dodge [NEXT ROLL] >2D100
>>6084145>>6084105 >>6083955 >>6083937 >>6083560 >>6083309 >>6083339 >>6083215 >>6083169 >>6082762 >>6082721 >>6082588 >>608252712hrs
Rolled 69, 55 = 124 (2d100)>>6084169quick update. nice.>Mo Ao has 31HP lefti believe you forgot the 3 sunlight damage>GIVVIDIM! (Offense focus; higher roll chosen as Hit)stay on the offense. shitfool will be impressed (or at least surprised) when we no hit this fing
>>6084169Ahem.>>Stab it in the asshole and violate it
>>6084179>but the 3 sunlight damagenope, only if Toady commits to kludging a hole in the canopy.
>>6084185This post was only a matter of time. Roll 2d100 ye damn poivoit; this will be understood as an Offensive focus.
Rolled 81, 88 = 169 (2d100)>>6084185>>6084191was phoneposting and couldn't rollHere you go!
Rolled 26, 18 = 44 (2d100)rollan
HOLD VOTESWRITAN
>>6084185You're fairly sure of the Fing's tempo now: like a biped, doesn't change. Stomp stomp, stomp stomp. And you got its reach measured. The next time it sweeps->Mo Ao rolled Hit 26-15=11>Toady rolled Hit 88+5 =92You put the Dagga into its wrist and start gashing your way up it, forearm, elbow, bicep>gunnae getz yer SHOULDA>zennz I'z getz yer FA-It's forward momentum doesn't stop just because you're laying it in, doesnt flinch just because you put yer Dagga n Sicky in it: the Fing smashes the last of the hovel between you, takes whatever you dish out, and follows through, landing its intended blow!>OOFYou feel several planks in your kludge armor snap, falling out of the double layered basket serving as a plate carrier. The impact went right through. Muvvafugga. At least it's just weird meat smacking you, not actual weirdness.It takes another swing, not stopping that stomp stomp, stomp stomp. This one you dodge: the arm sinks into the sod, the fingers and tentacles raking lines.Behind the Fing, in the rubble of the hovel, Shitfuck pushes away wood rubble to get a better view. Cunt's lying down on his side, digging his nose. You haven't seen him piss or shit using the Pall Body; you'd bet a meal it doesn't produce boogers, and Shitfuck's just doing it to mogg you. >cunt[ROUND 3] >16dmg inflicted by Toady >Mo Ao has 15HP left >Mo Ao inflicts 10dmg>hovel has 0/8 Dur left; REKT>7dmg carried over>Kludge Armor soaks 2per3dmg, losing 1Dur per 3 damage, rounded up>2dmg reach Toady>3Dur lost>Toady has 10 HP left >Kludge Armor had 9/12 Dur left [NEXT MOVE] >GIVVIDIM! (Offense focus; higher roll chosen as Hit) >DOJJIM! (Defense focus; higher roll chosen as Dodge) >KLUDGE! (Roll to dodge and improvise! Improvise what exactly? Write!) Current net bonuses for TOADY >+9 Hit >+5 Dodge Current net debuff on MO AO >-15 Hit >-15 Dodge [NEXT ROLL] >2D100
>>6084196>>6084179>>6084145 >>6084105 >>6083955 >>6083937 >>6083560 >>6083309 >>6083339 >>6083215 >>6083169 >>6082762 >>6082721 >>6082588 >>6082527
Rolled 42, 77 = 119 (2d100)>>6084235How the hell did the scopsucker hit us with our godly rolls and his cursed rolls>GIVVIDIM! (Offense focus; higher roll chosen as Hit)
Rolled 21, 42 = 63 (2d100)>>6084235>GIVVIDIM! (Offense focus; higher roll chosen as Hit)FINISH HIM
>>6084237>how did dat jizzgobbla hit us Creature Feature. It can opt to hurl itself at you with zero preservative instinct. Translate: it will just tank your attack with no intent to dodge, just so it can attack u moar.Most creatures who are not berserk or meth-enabled do not have this ability, YOU included. At least one of your 2d100s per round has to be a dodge.
Rolled 100, 31 = 131 (2d100)HOLD VOTESWRITAN
>>6084249>100MonkaS
Now that you've been going at it for a bit, you know the Fing just plows through. You're mostly healthy, your kludge armor still goodish; you'll take whatever it can dish for one round and finish the Unworldly puke.>juzz geddinerre>take a lick>n cut itz TONKERS ORF>no wait it has no tonkers>CUTT ITS HEDD ORF DENN>N PLUP THE NECK 'OLEOut of respect for the 100, QM has optimized Mo Ao's rolls. >Mo Ao rolls 31 -15 =16>Toady roll 77+5 = 82You eat the clumsy heavy smash on your back>OOFand by trained reflex go into the Eight Transformations, squirming from the point of impact to face the limb, then you're squirreling up it in a killykilly frenzy.You go as fast as accurately as you can up something with no consistent proportion or ossic architecture, taking the opportunity of its lowered shoulder to reach>YER FACE>GLARKSUCKAYour Dagga goes in its nosehole immediately, and you lever it as many times as you can in opposing directions. Keeping your grip on the folds of its flesh with your feetnerrrrrr ikyikyyuhkkand holding the thrashing head in place with the Dagga, you get the sickle's crescent between the jaws trying to bite you, and>YAHHHHH!!slice through the tungg, the jaws, and the spinal column.Without missing a beat you kick off from the Fing's shoulders with the head in your hands, showing off.You flip through the air, sticking yer jolly green chubber inna skull's neck 'ole while flipping through the air, then sticking the landing>TADAA while holding up the Fing's head handsfree. >>6084185Sleepfull raises his eyebrows. Points his pinkie. Over your shoulder. What->OHH SHI-You scramble, already digging your toes, pumping your legs to get away>Mo Ao rolls 100-15 = 85 Hit>Toady rolls 42+5 =47 DodgeThe golfsmack sends you upwards into the foliage. Yer chubber's gone by now; the Fing's head slips off. And the foliage stops enough of your momentum that you realize you are falling just where there's nothing to grab.>aah shHIIII->DOOF[ROUND 4] >16dmg inflicted by Toady >Mo Ao is REKT>Mo Ao inflicts 20dmg >Kludge Armor soaks 2per3dmg, losing 1Dur per 3 damage, rounded up >6dmg reach Toady >7Dur lost >Toady has 4 HP left >Kludge Armor had 2/12 Dur left {{U SURVIVED UR NAT1}}{{N DAT 'ORRBL FING'S NAT100}}{{A WINNA IZ U}}next post 12hrs for real.
>>6084298thank god we made it... can we get positive nat 1s and 100s from now on please? thanks for updating so fast QM
>>6084298BLIMEYIMAGINE THE EXP, BOSSIF ONLY WE WERE A HUMAN WITH A CLASS
>>6044784i was invested in that quest before this onesadly, the QM of that quest also died, but it had no replacement QMim hopeful you want die on us QM
>>6084304what is a positive nat 1 or 100? I googled and it turned up AIDS tests. (YOU) and the enemy will both get your 100s and 1s paid out in some way, regardless of your bonuses. Neither will get you an instant KO, but they must feel like a kick in the tendies.Don't feel too bad. I wanted to give you just some kit upgrades if YOU beat the Dimm Revenant, which originally was supposed to switch to defensive at 50% HP.But you managed to beat it so good I let it play meth-head for one, then TWO turns.And you still kicked its nads to the netherworld.You're getting something better now.
>>6084325 lol, only the Weak Races need class levels. Goblins gain passive utility skills like Bluff, Persuasion, Perform, Climb, Swim, Intimidate, Knowledge (Anything without Reading), Create Improvised, Improvised Weapon Mastery, Tactics, etc, just from surviving beatings; this is lore-accurate per GoblinSlayer.Thus, the Goblin Chief at the end of season 1 that took a Guild Raid to get rid of, is still regarded as "just a Goblin".
>>6084345link that pathetic display.If it's interesting enough and still up after I have finished at least one Campaign chapter in Goblin Cultivator, I'm going to shit up that one too.I probably won't get killed by boulders.Rocks fear me.As they should.
>>6084465what i meant was that we got "something bad" for both the 1 and 100. RNGzuz has forsaken us. (the fact that you got a 100 on so few d100 rolls this quest is honestly insane)so i would appreciate it if we could have the next 1 or 100 be "something good"either way something interesting happens and i will be there for it>>6084481i did link it no?have a look. updates were slow but it had great potential:>>6044784
>>6084511ToadyAnon rolled nat1 for his daily choice; bad for YOU; QMonster rolled nat100 in combat, good for QMonster. A horrid coincidence. Next time YOU roll 100 expect to get similar or better treatment. Best offer.
[BEHIND THE SEEMS WITH YANG WUHAN]"Mo Ao. Dead yet."No.Lord.Yang Wuhan finds the dropped skull along the trajectory the Revenant's body send his Disciple. Picks it up."How long shall you stay a skull. Can you call forth the Mute Garb in this state."I can call forth the Garb.I feel it might be almost two months before a new body riseUnder the Garb."49 days. Within expectation. Was there a reason you did not use any of your body's special characteristics. Are you incapable."No. Lord.They are unnatural to use.An alien sense of appendage.I might use some of them if I was unhindered.In close battle, difficult.Even with practice I may take too long."Mm. Can you turn insubstantial. Invisible. Fly."The Dimm Revenant tries. By turns it turns intangible, faint, slowly levitates above Man height. It attempts combinations of these, varying the effort distribution."Well."Not completely. Not all at once.Not well."Useless. What tools of soldiery can you use."Simple weapons, in life.Larger and heavier, in this flesh.If I wear the Mute Garb they pass through."Can you retract the Mute Garb from your hands to wield physical weapons." Focus is required.Or practice. I must turn wholly material to fight with plain arms, or be easily disarmed."Special arms then, for you. Your Master will see to it. Do you retain any memories of the last mind in that body."No.Faint.Of arising in the Dimm Lands.Of long intrigue between the Eminent.Of career purpose. Surveyor, Conveyor, Purveyor.It has never seen the Queen, nor ever hoped,Until my Lord a stranger bade her forth with Art.An aweful development, of inconceivable origin and implication.The last moments of its mind was Terror."Hmph. Any spells. Information, precise and current. Secrets."... ...None.They feel...taken. The pertinent memories stop, as paths in fog.The path joins again, further in the way, but the city on the path, the memory desired, has been passed through unnoticed.It is disorienting to try."Clever. No fool, the Dimmu Queen.She is old.Lord, to warn:Careless address of Her is danger.Only euphemistic, or deliberate.This body somewhat listens, without my will.Her mention quickens it.Lord, pray thee, abstain.He smirks. A gallant bow from a little girl's shape, form perfect, but of substance mockery and spite."All within expectation, Dimmu Queen."
Rolled 4, 5 + 2 = 11 (2d6 + 2)Shitfuck finds you hobbling back to camp. He waves you away with one hand; his baby doll is wedged in his armpit, his other arm is full carrying the hedd of the Fing."Henlo Sh-hm-hm, Sweetfoods.""Forget the old place. Go that way."You follow obediently. The moment you reach somewhere Shitfuck finds to his liking he plops down in the shade and commands you to build him another hovel.No rest for or from the wicked.You don't dare sulk.Just fix up yer kludge armor a little and do one Ceremony before you go jobbing again.[BALANCE SHEET] >29 Dedder Dusts >§107 -2 for impromptu repairs>QM roll for new hovel cost and Dur>Toady 5/12HP; no rest and patch permitted until later>Kludge Armor 4/12Dur; no full repair permitted until later>Yang Wuhan still needs 56LM >22 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 70LM remaining >Current Derreschston Sus penalty -5 [2C1R] [CHOICE 1] >Serch Cherch MOAR (Ш) (familiarity bonus +15) >Serch Cherch MOAR (Ͳ) (familiarity bonus +15 +10) >Pit (familiarity bonus +10) >Mass Grave (Dedder Dust collection bonus +40) >Mart Street >Mayorate Court >Courthouse (Familiarity bonus +15) >Mayorate Residence + Stables >Skirts >BLOOD >by chokey choke? (GARROTE) >by slashy slash? (DAGGA) >[From whence? Write-in] >KLUDGE / STABBUTTAGG (sabotage) >[What? Write-in] >STALK >Towser >Sordyfagg Sissy + ACTION (he suffers -12 Hit Chance and Dodge chance for your first encounter; -4 thereafter) >Stumpy >TownBoss >Pit WatchBoss >Else? >TRAINAN (Costs §2.5/day for Toady to completely focus on training) (Carrionpede Form is currently at +4(/4) Hit Chance and +2(/4) Damage) (Gui Li imposes -1 to gains in Form per gain at this time; min gain is +1) >ELSE? [CHOICE 2] >Day/Night? [ROLL] >1D100
>>6084511>>6084325>>6084237>>6084185>>6084105>>6083955>>6083361>DING!24hrs.
[BALANCE SHEET] >29 Dedder Dusts >§105 - QM roll 11 for new hovel>=§94 bal
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>6084616>TRAINAN (Costs §2.5/day for Toady to completely focus on training) (Carrionpede Form is currently at +4(/4) Hit Chance and +2(/4) Damage) (Gui Li imposes -1 to gains in Form per gain at this time; min gain is +1)>Day
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>6084616>TRAINAN (Costs §2.5/day for Toady to completely focus on training) (Carrionpede Form is currently at +4(/4) Hit Chance and +2(/4) Damage) (Gui Li imposes -1 to gains in Form per gain at this time; min gain is +1)lets do it finally (would have come in handy during that fight)>Dayor night doesnt matter here i think
wheres anon #3 at when we need him?does he think hes the avatar or something???
>>6085039Currently out and about so unable to roll. Sadge
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>6085040BACK AND ABLE TO ROLL. Witness me!Training by day.
>>6085088nice save anon #3
VOTE LOCKED>TRAINAN>DAY>Bo3 89>Reward for beating Mo Ao pending>Reward for beating Mo Ao on HARD pending>QM nap first
>>6085088if you're a phoneposting filth like QM, here's a chan reader app that can roll dice. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.deezus.pchan
Rolled 19, 20 = 39 (2d20)Before anything else, Seafood tells you to move the two grindstones that make up the Corpse Grinder to the new place.He says that the Grinder had already started collecting Unworldly contamination from all the Plague Dedders you turned to Dedd Dust on it, but you can guess that's not the whole reason. He just wants to watch you work. Whatever. With the help of some levers and pulleys you manage to get them edge side up.Then it's just the chore of moving them some thousand paces across the forest floor to the new place.Seafood tasks Moar Ow to help you, which is just a joke: the Fing's just a floating hedd now, not that you can see it when it's wearing its black bedsheet.You do your best with your new workforce: you put two ropes through its eye sockets so it can help pull the bigger millstone vertical and steady it from overhead as you roll. Not too big a help, since Moar Ow sizzles when naked under strong sunlight, and when wearing the bedsheet it can only exert a moderate pressure for short periods before the ropes phase through. If Shitfuck hadn't told it to take off the black bedsheet you're not sure a chance existed.You manage to get the Corpse Grinder to the new place and set it up. A short rest after that, you start grinding Moar Ow's beheaded body in it. Seafood wants some for experiments; the great bulk of it he leaves to you, saying that cutting the Dedder Dust you've already collected with Fing Dust might make it...interesting.You do as he says, taking care to plug your nose and ears, keeping your eyes and mouth covered in wet flour sacking. You're not sure how much these precautions help; after this you are going for a mudroll then a waterdunk, to be safe. Moar Ow helps with the grinding of its own body. This is not the shittiest team building exercise ever, but it has passed the semis.•••To pass the time, since the Fing's body is pretty biggy with a lot of unexpected cartilage, you make conversation."I killed you, you know."..."How's it feel, Deddy, loozen tuva Mastur Race? Will yer ancestors say yez lame?"..."How'd muh chubber taste? Gotza be a first time you tasted gobbjizz commen up. Mebbe it wuzznt the first time yez burped cumm? We've heard the storeez". You haven't actually heard any stories; this just shit Fighty Ones say around the campfire. It does seem to reliably annoy Whiteies though, especially Whitey Sissies. Maybe you can get him angy enough to tell you the story in terms of denial and apology (vis, coping).It seems to work! Moar Ow speaks!... Goblin.You might want to get that looked at."Get what looked at?" You're suddenly suspicious. Fing better not be talking about your chubber. What you were sayen wuz juz joaks n larks. Goblins are not an Always Hoemoe-Gae Race, like the Vanilli Binnies, or their slightly cooler cousins, the EDSM1 Power Butt-hnrg Binnies.>QM 2d20 for Dedder Dust gained from Mo Ao EDging and StiMming
>>6085341Holy shit. His body was so full of necrotic dust that it's worth more than what we already collected from a MASS GRAVE.
"SEAFOOD! SEAFOOD!! WAKES UP!!"He winces at your panicked shrieking, doesn't open his eyes, doesn't get up. He's counting something under his breath. You don't dare to interrupt him further, but your nerves fray as he makes you wait. You inch closer and closer with your crisis, to save time later.Finally his fingers freeze in their count. With eyes still closed he says,"Three steps back."You do so, still holding the gray, fat, rot-pocked writhing fing in your hands.He opens his eyes to glare at whatever you have to show him, and actually smiles. "Heh."You don't know why he's not alarmed; You're hysterical. "What seems to be the problem, my precocious Tudi?""VAT FING! VAT BLEKK BEDSHEETY SPOOKER WOT YEZ SED TER FOIT ME! IT TURNT MUH PEEPEE INNA DIS FING! SEAFOOD! SWEETFOODZ! PLEEZ! YEZ GUTZA SAEV MUH PEEPEE!""Wisest of your kind, that is not a thing. It is your thing."" BUDDITS GRAAAY! N ROTTY TATTY! WHYZIT GRAAAY! I WAN MUH JOLLY GREEN CHUBBER BAAACK!"Your circular dance of dismay actually makes him laugh, and the more frantic you get the funnier it gets for him, and you keep cycling through a feedback loop of hope and hysteria looking at him, until he has one palm on his belly and the other on the ground behind him to support his guffaws.When he's finally done you've run out of tears. Then he tells you,"Tudi. Come here." When you're in range he scratches you all over, especially on your belly and thighs, centering your fing, the same way he did when he Wed you to Gui Li. "Done," he says, and claps his hands once. Sumn icky that isn't pizz or jizz comes out yez fing[/ii] to scald the ground, and you suddenly feel like it's yours again. It's grayer and gnarlier still, but the holes are closing. There's an ache in it like you get when a bone or a deep wound's mending. Not your original nice cuke green anymore, but it's bigger in all directions. And gnobbier. And prehensile, woodjalookadat."Snff. Hic. Wad happent toit."He waves you away. Somehow that reassures you."You wouldn't understand. Two diseases and a parasite. As you have no Spiritual Root, I've turned them into a False Spiritual Root, centered on your... root hmhm. Tell me when you tup a mortal female of a sentient dimorphic species." "...nerh?""When you fugg something that is alive and possesses language and ovaries you utter goblin." Ahh. So he turned you back Gobliny then. Coulda jezt said. You're grateful anyway, a rare emotion. He saved yez gerkin. Yerz never calling him Shitfuck again. For now."Fanks BigBo-, nerr, Sweetfoods."•••You spend most of Daytime trainan.Gotta gitt gudd if Seafood's going to make Fings for you to fight now. With Seafood's permission, you spend hours noif-climbing up trees with the Carrionpede Form trying to shank Moar Ow innaskullz.>29+39=68 Dedder Dust balance>additional minor reward for dat nat20 lootroll pending
>>6085341almost double 20 is insaneQM continues to high roll...
>>6085376QM also went bugeyed. Handwaving like a mf.Fresh demon corpse that got personally soulfragged by the Dimmu Queen. Whatever's left is +8 Narsty against the Living.
Dis muvva is just annoying to foit, even without the black bedsheet. It's gotten the hang of floating, so when you're not fast enough it always just levitates out of reach, forcing you to throw a shiv r sumn. If this weren't a forest with a branchy canopy layer and you didn't have a bow or rock sling, you wouldn't even bother fighting. Moar Ao also started phasing through some of your attacks. Not a lot of them, maybe once in two full combos from you, assuming you're on target, but it's a troublesome development. You thought it could only phase through solid matter when wearing the bedsheet.There is one good thing about fighting dis Fing: when you force it to phase, or if you clear the foliage over it so the sunlight hits its bare skull, it starts losing height quickish; if you use the sunlit patches to help chain your combos back to back, you can force Moar Ow to the ground.Not having hands, just a bit of shoulder and couple ribs, Moar Ow doesn't have anything to counter you with. As you continue winning you get bolder.And you twigg sumn. The foit you had wiv Moar Ow wuz fuggen baalshidd is what it iz. Dis muvvaless Fing got fikk meats n lots bones n don't care what happen to it. It didn't flinch at all dis dirty cheap bastich BICH. It wuzzint alive, don't care for staying alive, proll don't even feel pain.So of course it near kilt you: it could swing a plain smack, eat all yez slick killy combos face-on wiv how much meat it has, then follow through to get you. Four times it did this, fuggen no skillz no reflex no speed trash. And the gray finger-bone tentacles gave its swings some advantage of spread and reach, too, cheapy grabby glarkglugga. No bludd, no tendons, no gutts, nuffin. You might as well have been fighting fried dough. Rigged foit, noskillz trash opponent, shidder Ref. Fuggen GARBIJJ.When YOU fight, there's always the instinctive awareness of hurties coming, so there's always a sorty flinch margin in your head for ducken n rollen outta way. Smaatz Rolz, you call it. And Moar Ow doesn't have it.It attacks accounting hurties already, not one fink about dodging. Sooo, if YOU accounts for hurties, n takes it face-on wiv yes armor..."Reddy yer nutz, here I CUMMZ!"When you give yerself no flinch margin, like yer 'reddy dedd, or finna die, all that momentum goes into getting KILLIER.You manage to string TWO combochains back to back, without needing a patch of sunlight to stagger Moar Ow between them. If Moar Ow still had a whole body it would have womped you real good in the exchange, no doubt about that. But against most anybody else you would have landed at least one combochain, guaranteed. Fuggen noice.Because it's not cheap when (((YOU))) do it.It'z fuggen smaat.>Thousand Segment Carrionpede Form Improved>+4(/4) Hit Chance, +2+1=+3(/4) Damage>ADD. REWARD FOR CLEARING MO AO on HARD>YOU can now make your combat 2d100 BOTH Offense.>hit on any>0
[BALANCE SHEET] >68 Dedder Dusts >§94 -6 for kludge armor repairs -3 for self patch -2.5 for Trainan costs>=§82.5>Toady 5+3=8/12HP>Kludge Armor 4+6=10/12Dur>Yang Wuhan still needs 56LM >21 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 70LM remaining >Current Derreschston Sus penalty -5 [2C1R] [CHOICE 1] >Serch Cherch MOAR (Ш) (familiarity bonus +15) >Serch Cherch MOAR (Ͳ) (familiarity bonus +15 +10) >Pit (familiarity bonus +10) >Mass Grave (Dedder Dust collection bonus +40) >Mart Street >Mayorate Court >Courthouse (Familiarity bonus +15) >Mayorate Residence + Stables >Skirts >BLOOD >by chokey choke? (GARROTE) >by slashy slash? (DAGGA) >[From whence? Write-in] >KLUDGE / STABBUTTAGG (sabotage) >[What? Write-in] >STALK >Towser >Sordyfagg Sissy + Action (he suffers -12 Hit Chance and Dodge chance for your first encounter; -4 thereafter) (write in for Action) >Stumpy >TownBoss >Pit WatchBoss >Else? >TRAINAN (Costs §2.5/day) (Carrionpede Form is currently at +4(/4) Hit Chance and +3(/4) Damage) (Gui Li imposes -1 to gains in Form per gain at this time; min gain is +1) Improvement for TRAINAN is now Total of 3>150, OR Bo3 65. Trainan cost and threshold for improvement will increase with Form level.>ELSE? [CHOICE 2] >Day/Night? [ROLL] >1D100>>6085437>>6085376>>6085098>>6085088>>6085039>>6084769>>608465736hrs
>>6085594i dont know about you guys but i think its time we go rape someonepoor toady hasnt had pussy in who knows how longand now that our dick got leveled up it seems like a good time to do that we could also get a few kills while we're at it who's with me?
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>6085594>Kidnap some wimmenz from the outskirts.>At night.knock 'em out if they ain't already asleep and tie 'em up and gag 'em and stuff 'em in the bag to bring back. Seafood can have the younger one(s?) that look virginal. We'll enjoy the other(s?)Long as we keep them fed we can have 'em donate 10-30% of their blood to seafood. Probly closer to 30% since he's a hungry fugger. Then they heal up over a few days and donate again. Might be able to accelerate this by having seafood perform his amoral witchcraftery to push their body's blood generation to its limits at the cost of their longterm health (lol)
What
>>6085620you must be new to this quest
Rolled 1 (1d3)>>6085612The version of Pouch YOU have can slow decay, but most multicellulars will perish unless they have the appropriate Feats, Magic, Cultivation. Anyone you manage to push into it is going to die right quick. You might be able to time a boiling egg by them.Seafood DOES have one that can keep living beings unconscious and alive; he won't give it because he knows everything you handle has ur smeggs n shidds on it. He is only able to consume the LM you bring him by extraordinary feats of coping.>All other substances are untouched when I use the Crimson Banquet Essence Consumption (赭宴胭精, zhe3yan4yan1jing1)>jing3 just means blood in this case and not semen also>really>no, reallyTo start your bloodfarm you'll have to wrestle your livestock down conscious and alive, which might be difficult since you are at a size disadvantage with no Strength bonus, Mysticism or Alchemy. The benefit of choosing to spec KillyKilly is being kinda shidd at anything that's not killykilly.But just in case you roll like kings again, QM now rollan for netgains per LM if YWH overclocks captives to produce blood.
>>6085612dice have spoken: no net gains from overclocking.Google says, 10pints per adult; 1pint replaced in "a few weeks", so min 2 weeks for your bloodfarm to see a 10% return.I'm not sure you have that kind of time before YWH loses his patience and you lose your favorite brain hemisphere. Maybe after this, when you have the kind of time to start a real operation....
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>6085612nice creativity, but sadly it isnt feasible like that as QM saidlets just rape for now and not kidnapkill after (or do we want to breed them?)rolling (cant really get better than an 87 tho)looks like my ID changed.. i only now noticed would you mind me namefagging from now on?
>>6085664as you please. no idea why people get triggered by a site function.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>6085594>BLOOD>by chokey choke? (GARROTE)>outskirts>Night
VOTE CALLED>CAN HAS PLUPLUP TIEM NAO>87writan starts in an hour
Rolled 3, 2 = 5 (2d3)Ohboyohboy (YOU)re going plupping tonight. It's been a good long while since you last struggle snuggled some sobbing wench and made her plopp a clutch of little (YOU)s.The thought of preggen em by glopping right in theyz eggzbottles kicks your jizzgizzards into overdrive. You don't know what it is. All it needs is to be alive femmeat and can cry>nooo nooowhile you're laying a mile of gobby plup innem, and it's got a #.And with this fatty gnobbly, w r r i g g e l l y gutt masha you have a feeling they'd be screaming in pitches even if their saggy hamflaps were BRVVD n BVILT n TRVINT 4 MMT MVSSVV MVNVTVVRS.Trouble of course is in that you're alone, no lair, no druggz, no Shammy Witchdocta to cast sleepy zapzaps r sumn; you're no good at rasslin at your size, and if you juzt shoved them innada Pouch alive they'll just die. Seafood told you.So youre restricted to quickies, at least for now. That takes out half the fun already. You need time n private to plugg em until they love you, to see them pregg n plopp out mobbz. If you're just doing quickies and carnt bring em along after, you'll need to killem when you're done: gobb pregged slutts always make a big noise to whoever's around, and if there's any suitable magic or medicine about they try to use it to bort the clutch you put in them. That's murder that is; if the Whities were really "pro-Loif" they'd let the preggslutts plopp all theyz gobby clutches, buncha hippy creeps.Seafood sees you grinning absently while youre repairing your kit, sees the gray Gobbgantua slowly straining a hole in the front of your tuckeroos (gobby fundoshi) a warty girthy gray thrashing leaking tuber growing out of a goblin's crotch is impossible not to see , and says to no one in particular, "the jealousy of women hurry a man to death both sides of the grave." Since he didn't say it to you, you think he's just thinking out loud. Seafood's kindy a poet; alluz sayen sum whimsy shit n refusen to elaborate.Whatevah. You've put in more than a bit of work. You feel like you've earned sum Ræps n Ræproductens, gnehh heh hehh!•••You go for the Skirts, appropriately; the poor are noticed last. Lone Ræper that you are, you try to source very young or older women for easy prey. Not a lot of either to be frank; the Plague hit the weaker harder.Knick-knicks hanging out to dry is a clue how many people in a place, if there's a man in there; swept cookfires or indoor kitchen means women, while unswept and outdoors means men. No lights in any of these dwellings, though a very few have clay-and-wick teapot lamps on a stool by the bed or on the main table; no one wastes lamp oil in the Skirts.Your first victim is a bit oldy, a Humie biddy approaching the Crone age category. She's hobfooted, judging by the cane next to the bed, with a stoop. Not exactly a MILP, but she'll do. You just need her to scream moar.
>>6086800first of all: nice dubssecond: what have you done with QM, Anon?
Like the last time when you did the bunch of feevy Humies, you poise a chokeychoke over her neck, this one made of a towel torn lengthwise. Your opener is a Blood Dot, temple + neck left, temple + neck right. As she opens her mouth to groan you yank down hard on your chokeychoke, concussing her, at the same time drawing the nooseknot of the chokeychoke closed, turning it into a gag.Then you're on top of her. As she tries feebly to grapple whatever is trying to whatever her, you chicky wing the bich: put a shiv up each of her armpits. That cuts out the nonsense. Then you stomp her hard inna belly for giving you shit, and she's vomiting, swooning.Bich this old wouldn't have been plupped in a long time. She should be grateful. You bind her wrists with ready nooses to the headboard, her ankles to the legs of the bed, and get out Gobbgantua.It seems to have a semi-mind of its own, that you can read and command. You decide to plugg her bugg'ole first, because that always surprises them, makes them make that face, and later when they see you're about to plugg theyz ploppa wiv yez 'orble be-shidded GGP Green Gobby Penor, they make anuvva face. You're a connoisseur and it matters.>SEEKZ N DESTROY CHUBBCHUBB>SCRAPE HER INNIES OUTY"N-no, no sta-UH"She stiffens as Gobbgantua zeros in her sunless deeps, and with one thrust you spread a portal to her netherworld.You hear a cricking in her body before you're even halfway in; sounds like da bich's backbone just got straightened. The half-breath scream that comes out by reflex makes you koom instantly. And you're still 'ard. Still 'orny. You don't need to switch out with the next gobb in line: Gobbgantua still chubb n stiffu.You get your grind on and glopp twice more inna bugg'ole. "Nuuh, nuuh, hhhyezzz" She's stopped moaning and fighting and is starting to smile. This new tackle really is sumfin, usually it takes a few weeks for you to fuggem till they lovvit.Then you glopp once each in her sproggploppa n her mouf, because you're a perfectionist, and look at your handiwork. She's grinning eyes open, staring at the ceiling, flat. Pupils really dilated, hrnn. No flinch response. You listen for a heartbeat: it's very slowed, like her breathing. "Woi. Getz up." Here she responds, slowly like she's sleepy. You cut the binds from her limbs and start ordering her about."Dis fat Chubb ain't gonnae glaark itself."" Now squatt onnet. Make it werk yez sproggploppa like yez churnen budda."She obeys nearly all of your commands, except when it requires her bad hip or her chickywinged arms; she knows what you mean[/ii]. Making her take yer whole F I N G in all her 'oles just about rekt her tho': jaw dislocated, 'braded throat, perineal tears, prolapses, the woiks. She can still walk good 'nuff, so you command she help wivva next un.
>>6086812Sorrah, was lurking elsewhere, didn't put the tripp back.
>>6086800MVSSVV MVNVTVVR TVDJA
>>6086871Wait a minute.WE CAN FUGG PEOPLE INTO OBEDIENT ZOMBIES?HORRY SHIT
You get anuvva old bich living alone, and then, with two together, you team up onna third old bich, less old than the other two, stacked and built sturdier. Same as before: chokeychoke noose, Blood Dot opener, and then the struggle. Normally she might have been able to fling you across the room with one hand if she managed to grab a fistfull of you. But at present you've already unlocked the door to let the two other biddies in before you started your choke+Dot combo. The moment the big old bich sits up and start to struggle, the other two bodily weigh down her hands while you panic and keep trying to Dot her through her two chins, before giving up and clocking her right where the back of the neck joins the skull wiv the blunt of your shoddy ax. You do enough trauma for her to be trussed like a pig. She's alive, and more deliciously, awake when you do her. She's still trying to get away from the things assaulting her in the dark, when you tear off her bloomers and begin an altogether different kind of assault. She bleeds more than the other two, even though she's moister down'ere, and her struggling ugly-cry just riles you.You mulch and plough her like a 'Bama cornfield, sending what must be half a pint of jizz right inna eggzbottles each time you KOMM, and after the third fikk fatt ngutt she's smiling too.It's weird, but you notice you're a lot less interested in them once they turn gray and start grinning. Even though the big thicky biddy's still got her mouf n bugg'ole waiting to be bulged wiv splooj like a pastry chef trainee's kreempuff, youre off it. When you got the first crippy old biddy to perform sexual gymnastics it was novel, but in itself, rippen innem once theyz gray is... mehh. Gotta ask Seafood about that later. You ask the three you got to bring you food; they don't. You have to sack their hovels yourself to find some postcoital munchies and gluggs. Hrnnn. They have no memory then?You ask them questions; they just stare at you with their blank, supportive grins. Yup: theyz lost everfin up dere. And you get to finkin and twigg sumn else: the first biddy you did turned gray from bugg'ole pluppen. Did that mean your slutts don't have to have an eggzbottle to get turnt gray? What if you plupped a Man? Men Humies got bugg'oles too. You wouldn't normally, because it doesn't feel right, man-pluppen.But itz not gae if itz to maekem gray.Gotza try. Fer zoiance.•••Cuvkenmelle to a nauseating pain on both sides of his neck. He sits up gagging, on reflex and is hauled back down to the bedding by a noose around his neck. He fights against the thing at the end of the noose trying to weigh him down. He gives a hoarse bark trying to shout, and his left temple is hit twice, and his gorge surges. The noose choking him doesn't let much of it out of his mouth; the surge goes up his airways instead, out the nose, chunks of his meagre dinner. Salt soup lentils.
He tries to roll off the bed, tries to kick, but something's got his legs together.He manages to kick a foot out of its grip, but then something hard and blunt slams right into his crotch instead. In the haze of pain the noose tightens at the head of the bed, and his knees are kept together again at the foot of it.A whiney scratchy voice shouts from his side."Ey! Derr fat un! Gedd innere!"The door swings in. He sees the outline framed in the door, eyes still watering."Elpe? The hells-"Then he gives up reasoning. He's been cornered by Vampeer Ghules before. Just got to be quicker! More vicious! He flings himself, manages to dislodge the weight holding the noose down; manages to stomp a solid crack on the one around his legs, sending it across the floor, and he rolls off his bed, hobbling, knees inward.Then Elpe bears him into the ground from the front. He tucks his chin, keeps his forehead towards her. For some reason she's not coming in for a bite. Too bad! She gets an elbow across the face, then gutshots, and he gets a foot braced against her stomach, kicking her off him with all his might-And the two others come in again: Grellse and Feuve or something; bitter, gossipy old bags. He's nearing the door, touching moonlight. He's never seen them smile this wide before.He punches one off him, one more-And a long pain goes through his body from the side, into the kidneys. He tries to twist away, swing at it, but Elpe's wrapped around his neck and shoulder, weighing him dkwn. The two others reach his arms, grab and drag him to the ground."AhhhgggAHH!"The pain in his side widens impossibly, traumatically, gouting blood.It's still stabbing him! Sawing! Plunging! A goblin! Rutting him! is that a cactus what is that?! I'm dreaming! I've died and gone mad!"aguggug! GobbagobbaGNAAAHHH!! nnnngyAHHH!!"Ahg! Hg-AAH! n-AAH! HGNAAaaaah~. Hah. Ha. Hyaazz.">Toady has gained 5 Dimm Cult[DIMM CULT]>Can pass for Mortal by Day if not detected by magic>1/3 to 1/2 of their strength and speed while alive>Requires little/no upkeep>Does not heal by itself or from normal means; Necrotic only>Able to understand and obey simple commands from their genitor>no initiative>no ability>Yang Wuhan still needs 56LM >20 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 70 - 5 = 65LM remaining >Derreschston Sus penalty -5 -5 = -10
[2C1R][CHOICE 1] >SERCH>Cherch (Ш) (familiarity bonus +15) >Cherch (Ͳ) (familiarity bonus +15 +10) >Pit (familiarity bonus +10) >Mass Grave >Mart Street >Mayorate Court Courthouse (Familiarity bonus +15) >Mayorate Court Residence + Stables >Skirts >BLOOD GETTY>by chokey choke? (GARROTE) >by slashy slash? (DAGGA) >[From whence? Write-in] >CORPSE DUST GETTY>Pit (Dedder Dust collection bonus +40) >KLUDGE >[What? Write-in] >STABBUTTAGG>cause Sordyfagg's Telly Pop-up to :>choice of stop entry, or stop exit, or cause 1d8 damage on use>[Else? Write-in]>STALK >Towser >Sordyfagg + Action (he suffers -12 Hit Chance and Dodge chance for your first encounter; -4 thereafter) (write-in for Action) >Stumpy >TownBoss >Pit WatchBoss >Else? >TRAINAN (Costs §2.5/day) (Carrionpede Form is currently at +4(/4) Hit Chance and +3(/4) Damage) (Gui Li imposes -1 to gains in Form per gain at this time; min gain is +1) (Improvement for TRAINAN is now Total of 3>150, OR Bo3 65)>ELSE? [CHOICE 2] >Day/Night? [ROLL] >1D100 [BALANCE SHEET]>§82.5 + 5 from drops - 2 for kludge armor repair= §85.5>68 Dedder Dusts>5 Dimm Cult>Toady 9/12HP (reduced healing when doing hrnghrng)>Kludge Armor 12/12Dur >>6086812>>6086885>>6086017>>6085664>>608562036hrs
>>6086885Yes. Utility units.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>6086942ROIGHT. We got four GMILFS and one STRONG N STOUT MALE ready to help us out. I say we:>See if we can get them to understand how to use a Garrote. If they can, then spend resources to make Garrotes for all 5 of them, by day.>Then, by night (when sunlight won't fuggem over) we go to the outskirts and go on a KILLIN SPREE with garrotes.Ain't no way these isolated dipshits can resist all 6 of us. The outskirts should be CLEANED OUT by the time we're done. I actually don't know how many LM live out here compared to the other locations.Uh. Also.>Ask Seafood if you can borrow Mo Ao. He can turn intangible for a bit, so you can use him to unlock doors from the inside, easy as pie. Also to spy on people for you.
>>6086961your Dimm Cult workforce is measured as 5 units for crunch purposes.For fluff, measured as four. >Can has Mo Ao?Sure. Here's the trade:>Tactical (Write-in; he can lift-assist heavy loads, levitate slowly, bait or interfere with hostiles)> -12 General rolls, because his weird presence unsettles normies; they'll look his way by instinct if he's too close>risk a -20 Sus penalty if you fail your roll>because he's a 8.5' Nazghul mf based on a CR 5 Wraith template
>>6086961>sunlight won't fuggem overDimm Culti just look sleepy by Day; no bad effects. They start grinning when the sun's gone; can't help it. Anyone will immediately out them if they are seen by Night.
>>6086961>make them garrotes and go AKILLENDimm Cult are Utility Units. They can't manage anything as complicated and reactive as garroting.They can however dogpile your prey, saving you energy so you can rack up moar killz; YOU get Degrees of Success Bonus for Garroting with at least 3 Dimm Cult; engaging more than 3 makes things too crowded for YOU to geddem.
>>6086942>by chokey choke? (GARROTE)>outskirts>Night
>>6086974>>6086976>>6086984Right, right. Modification to da plan then.Chokey chokey with three of the dimms at night. Leave Mo Ao with Sifu because he's kind of a fucking shitter atm.Make the dimms some facemasks that look like the kind of stuff you'd use to keep dust or germs outta your lungs. Good excuse for their mouths to be covered. The dimm we don't take with us can uhhh, be ordered to do whatever Seafood asks them to do so he has some servants for the night. Might make him less cranky.
>>6087004better idea (if possible)make the dimm spread our 68 dedder dust around (by day)this should give us some effortless kills over timedo we have an additional independent action?
>>6087051>can we send Dimm Cult to Cropdust Corpsedust while we do an independent action?Babysitting is recommended, bc they need course correction or they will obey your last orders like golems, and then just stand around waiting to get collected by YOU or busted by a normie.The Dimm Cult benefit from the Night bonus if you send them to cropdust; their grinning will only out them if someone tries to interact with them by Night. Sending the Dimm Cult to cropdust will:>negate Necrotic contamination on YOU>Cover more ground; YOU+3 Culti can cropdust TWO areas in one night.>6080423Per above, rules for Ops Cropdust Corpsedust. >Dedder Dust is measured in DustSpace; Dust per Space.>68 DS means you can inflict a -68 penalty on 1 unit of Space, or -1 on 68 units of Space>The Chantry of Ͳ block is 4 units of Space>The Mayorate Courtroom + foyer are 4 units of Space total>the Pit work camp is 24 units >Mains is 10>Mart St 12 >Skirts 16 >other spaces to be calculated if desired
>>6087077How much of a penalty is needed to kill every living entity within a unit?
>>6087078i would assume 100 (way too much for our means)my other suggestion would be to take mo ao with us and kill sordyfagg sissywhile we leave the dimm to seafood for experimentation
>>6087078Throw enough dust to cause above -35 penalty and it will be noticed. That'd be like if a cement bag burst in the room. Anyone seeing a room like that will back out unless they are forced into it, like a pit trap, or you lock the door behind them.Let's say that prolonged exposure of -40 will kill damn near anyone without resistance or detox within 6-8 months. For YOUr purposes, let's say if you dunk -90 worth of it on their heads it will send them into toxic shock in 20sec; ditto if you manage to enclose them or trap them somewhere with -75 for one hour. Here's what the Dimm Cult are good for:>Bonus to large scale kludging>Auto scavving cleared areas (roll extra 1d100, with -10 unsupervised penalty)>Auto excavating the Mass Grave for moar bodies + grinding them to Dust (roll extra 1d100, with -10 unsupervised penalty)>Faster Cropdusting (supervised only)>Garroting gains Degrees of Success bonus>infiltration by Day to enable simple sabotage or security breach
[I N V I O L A T O]{{AVALLARA GRANDE CAMERA DEGLI INQUIRENTI}}Your WorshipBy your will I have enquired into the affair involving the AB Archbishop L. of B.. The Witch-hunters were not mistaken in that Diabolism was conducted with his knowledge, nor the immediate execution untried of his person and those with him unjustified. It is my recommendation that they be given Notes of Lesser Reprimand and be reinstated to their former duties unprejudiced. Their action was warranted by an extremity of circumstance.Though we should like that L. be discovered according to the Laws governing such matters, extending L. the offer of Repentance would have risked all the lives involved, and likely the opportunity to continue his efforts redoubled, knowing how short his time. The Witchhunter Principal made a command decision: it was not meet for his faithful troop to bear the risk for one who has so desdained his soul.It is true: L. did consort with the False, and did by their assistance and advice conduct Rites through which the attainment of some Object was sought, though not known if it is truly his own desire or their design. As far as we know, he is damned. May the Charity extend to him, even to him.The seeds of doubt that trouble us now come not from hasty judgment, but from a lack of knowledge only: were the ones called up by L. truly demons? And if they were, how was their appearance and manner so unfamiliar?The Diabolic Summons and all entailed were usual, ascertained through my own contacts familiar with such matters. The original Proscribed Work containing those formulas is comparable, even identical, to those seized from other cases of Diabolism. The only difference is the result of their performance by L.It is my postulate that L.'s uncharacteristic Demons only appear when they are Summoned by the Sanctified, or, less likely, in the presence of one. Proof I have none, outside of unreliable fragments.The Cardinal Power they serve styles itself a Queen, in rivalry or parody of Our Lady. Their aim, if I must guess, might be the destruction in the completest sense of those that have been Called to the Charity.Yet if there had been so committed an Adversary, how should we of the Cloth have never heard of it, even those of us sworn against them especially?Here my own intuition troubles me, which though again without proof of substance, yet I feel very sure: we have never heard of these because they have always been with us, and those of us that have trafficked and contracted with them have never been brought to light, nor betrayed them.It is my belief that L. was not the first, and at this time not the only. With Your Worship's leave, I would request Exceptional Remit to fully pursue the matter.Your Obedient ServantR. F.
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>6087077>>6087599back to back dubshow do you do it? i will make my idea an official proposal:>Sordyfagg + Action (he suffers -12 Hit Chance and Dodge chance for your first encounter; -4 thereafter) (write-in for Action)take Mo Ao with us as backup and try to ambush and kill him (Mo Ao attacks first, Toady from behind)>NightDimm Cult stays with Seafood for now
>>6086997roll pls
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>6087737In case your roll wins, where do you propose to jump Sordyfagg?>Chantry, while he's godbothering (no exit, but there will be lights and he will have his dedd af gf's Holy Moly Mally)>Scullery, while he's washing n tryna eat (he'll be nakey n unarmed and mostly in the dark, but he can try to run or improvise a weapon)>Parrish Setter, while he's cataloging (his Holy Moley Sord is in there, but he'll have trouble swinging it in a cluttered room; higher dmg, but lowered hit chance)[SPECIAL OPT]>STABBUTTAGE his Telly Pop-up while he's in the hidden floor and lock him in>STABBUTTAGE his Telly Pop-up so it deals him 1d8 each time he passes through, then engage him in the AtticQM rollan in case>>6086997doesn't.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>6087746
>>6087787>Scullery, while he's washing n tryna eat (he'll be nakey n unarmed and mostly in the dark, but he can try to run or improvise a weapon)i dont believe Toady or Mo Ao want anything to do with his holy-moley weaponMo Ao should also block the exit if he tries to flee but otherwise help killing him of course
Rolled 60 (1d100)>we uh>KILL va Sordfagg>best roll 58 >+ 30 night bonus>+ 15 + 10 familiarity bonusQM rollan for 1%
>>6088317familiarity bonus only for ambush round, because Sordyfagg is also familiar; net +5 in his favor for later rounds, if applicable
Rolled 10, 4 + 28 = 42 (2d10 + 28)hp
Rolled 3, 2 + 2 = 7 (2d4 + 2)1d4+2 for melee1d4 for improvised weapon
"Tudi.""Yaz Sweetfuds." You both speak in the same uninflected monotone these days. Questions are ultimately unnecessary.He waves a little finger over the various killykilly instruments you've prepared and are in the process of sharpening. Mostly the sickle and shoddy axe, plus a couple couple shivs just in case."Your killing intent has improved. Do you intend to see blood tonight.""Yaz Sweetfuds. Finna kill der Sordyfagg Sissy wot lives inna cherch.""Oh? Mo Ao."Lord."Would you like to help kill a "Scaromate" Disciple tonight."... ...I will as my Lord wills."Waste-talk; indeed you do. Need you even say it. But I asked if you wanted."... ...No."Then the more you must. Tudi, take this brainless fen2pu3 (坟仆, grave servant) with you. No arms no legs, but it can take a few blows on its forehead. Mo Ao, heed him."Yes Lord.You've been meaning to ask to bring Moar Ow along too, just waiting for the right opening to bother Seafood. He just hasn't opened his eyes till now, just counted on his fingers with his eyes closed, mutter jibberjabber, n played with ... fingys."Yaz Sweetfuds. Fanks Sweetfuds.""Heed, Tudi: don't let that Righteous Adherent reach his weapons, or the altar of his temple. Once he does, keep Mo Ao back and settle him yourself. Understand.""Yaz Sweetfuds. Mma do."°°°You go a teeny bit early, while there's still sun, leading Moar Ow through the emptied skirts and the alleys between the houses you cleared on Main. It's not really a shortcut, since there's lots of bends and fences and things, but it's plenty cover for a tall biggy bedsheet to get around, and you know there's no one in those places to feel the heebeejeebees it gives off.On the way, you think on Seafood's advice. You'd have tried to gibb the Sordyfagg while he was bent over on the ground in the Chantry, but maybe that wasn't such a good idea after all, since Moar Ow is with you. You did such a good job onnim he's still regenerating; if he takes some Whitey magic inna face and gets re-dedded Seafood will lose his turnip.You reach the Cherch in good time, as planned: the workchumps have gone off, and Sordy Sissy will be out of his room for dindins soon. He comes earlier than expected. He's not cooking: he gets nikked and gets a washboard out, starts scrubbing his soaked clothes inna tin tub. Laundry day. You post Moar Ow in the far shadows, behind a blindspot."roit. yous stay ere, count to two hunnerd once I'm gone dis way. Den you go down dere, turn in lefty dat way. he's nakey n scrubben 'iz tuckeroos. Yez carnt smakkem yet, so jezt swoop onnem. Likes a ghost, see. scare him innada kitchin, to the door outavit. go slow. tell yez moar lader.... ...Moar Ow takes up its position, slouching more. You're not sure if it heard you."woi. yez deaf. hear what I sez."Yes.Two hundred counts after you.Scare him into the scullery, then out of it.
Rolled 8, 27 = 35 (2d100)1d100+20 for Mo Ao's jumpscare1d100 for Pieté's nerve
>>6088452Just barely good enough. Mo Ao, you fuck, stop doing the bare minimum!
You scuttle off to the front of Ͳ, counting under your breath. When you reach the heavy scullery door you get out the doorstop from your Pouch, and jam it in the gap under the door. Since the scullery door opens outward into the hallway, it should stop him a little; Sordy will have to brute his way through, so he'll have no momentum when you givvidim.Once there you get to listening. His splashing and scrubbing at the washboard is quite audible.It stops.Stops."VELARE MALVAAHH!"Moar Ao just met him, scared off his Whitey whities; your cue.You get into the Form, one step from the full swing of the door, Daggy n Sicky reddy fer bizniz.You hear a loud scraping clatter, a splash. "INGGANEVOLE!" A clang; something thrown. Frying pan? Clearly it missed.There's one second you almost hear him trying to decide. A crash, and another; table, chairs. Then you hear bare feet coming towards the door, and you brace.Boom!"Diavolo! Cazza finte!"BOOMThe first jarr loosened the doorstop; the second one flung the door full open, and you, with your new perspective on suicidal attacks, rush in n GIVVIDIM. >42hp - 16 -16>=10hpHe bowls past you, but you really goddem. Near anyone else be dedd. He's running, trailing blood n gasping. "Mani Consio!>Healing Hands heals 15hp>25hpHis speed picks up immediately. Shit! He's got personal zapzaps! Fuggen Fighty 'Un baalskeet! He's nearly at {C U R A}, slowing down! Picking up sumn on the ground![WAT DO WAT DO WAT DO]>SUICIDEY AGAIN! (both 1d100s are Attack)>GIVVIDIM BUT NORMALLY! (1attack 1def)>TIME FOR BIGG FINKS! (2defense, order Mo Ao)[R O L L]>2D10024hrs
>>6087991>>6087737>>6086961Sil vou plait, mignons.
Rolled 70, 96 = 166 (2d100)>>6088493>SUICIDEY AGAIN! (both 1d100s are Attack)FUCK YOUHEAL FROM THIS YOU BASTARDHOPE WE COATED OUR KNIVES WITH SHIT N DEADDER DUST BEFORE THIS JUST TO MAKE SURE
>>6088504you might have gotten feces and dedder dust on your weapons from what you've been up to and down in, but this guy a Paladin; Immune to Disease is a Class feature. Sepsis is a foreign word to these people.
Rolled 64, 99 = 163 (2d100)>>6088504agreelets fuck him up good>SUICIDEY AGAIN! (both 1d100s are Attack)
>>6088604>99damn
Rolled 37, 59 = 96 (2d100)>>6088493>SUICIDEY AGAIN! (both 1d100s are Attack)
>SHIVVKREIGG!>96>99>DIE U WHITEY FIGHTY BASTICH BICHGREEN PAWWA!!!The rewards of Bo3 are... considerable.Txtgen happens in 14 hours.
Rolled 36, 23 = 59 (2d100)%
>>6088657 please let these low rolls be a good thing
>>6088661rollan for Pietélooks like he's gibbt
>>6088605Whateveh he finna do, he boudda do!But yer gonnae do YOU! " EY HWYTE-KEK! WHAT FACE YOU MAKE WHEN YEZ PLUPPT HER NUN-KUNT DA FIRST TIME!"He flinches like you just thwacked him the back of the head with a sloppy mop.>rolled 96+4 to Hit>vs 23 + 5 Familiarity Bonus - 12 Vulnerability Penalty>GODDIMYou're not letting up, barely even thinking at this point. Just smack him the same place with the same brick; it's so audacious no one ever expects it.You've been stewwen n cooken zingers juzt for dis hoehole from the first time you saw his flabboi Whitoid sadgecuck simp$0¡ azz."YER MUNTY SUGGS GLARK IN HELL HWYTEBOI! SHE TRAIN RIDIN' M.M.T. AND G.G.C. WIV HEARTS INNER EYS!""¶WE PLUPP ungh!¶WE PLAPP!¶WE WEAR 'ER LIKE A HAT!"https://youtu.be/sZBR0MvJypc?si=RaBU0x3o1iklbUvAHe actually turns! DUMDUM DEDD!!!>rolled 99+4 Hit>vs 36 + 5 Familiarity Bonus - 12 Vulnerability PenaltyHe tries to dodge, but youre already in his zone! Your tailor-trimmed and targeted shittalk makes his already unsavable situation even worse!He makes a jerky, unsure attempt to get away from the aerial blender of blades that is YOU, and it's not GUDDINUFF!!!You hook in his wrist wiv yez Sicky, stick in yez Dagga wivva practiced systematic shunk shunk shunk through the wrist, inner elbow, and then swing-climb on the other wrist and inner elbow coming up to block you. >Hit for 17 dmg forgot your Form upgrade; retroactively accounted>25 - 17 = 8hpYez not stoppan; goan OAL ENN! You drop to his side past his useless hands shunkshunkshunkshunkshunk from ribz to crotch, and he slumps, his strength leaving.He opens his mouth! >Ah naw yez DOWNT!Yez Dagga goes in SHKK. Don't needza hear yez last woids faggit! Die wivvem unsedd!Juzt to be sure, you push the Dagga forward, levering his skull back, and saw yez Sicky cross his neck till you reach bone.>Heal VAT!>BICH.>Hit for 17 dmg UNBLOCKABLE>8hp - 17 = -9hpThen you see what he was trying to do: there's a Whitey rune circle on the floor. Sumn prepped from before. Shit! You're in it. But you've committed to SUICIDEY KILLYKILLY, and you're gonnae eat what's commen wiv yez tuffy gobba FACE!"GnnaaAAH!"%%% FSSSH %%%>12 Radiant Damage from pre-prepped Explosive Rune, re-keyed from VS Undead to VS Evil>Toady HP 9/12 - 4 = 5hp>Toady Kludge Armor Dur 12/12 - 4 = 8/12DurOoch! Hott! Hott! Ahh, should have healed up before starten, shidd!But yez should see da ovva guy:Collapsed on his side, bleeding from three times more holes than he wuz born wiv, mouf enlargement, and a second cope-hole opened up inniz froat.>..neh?Not dedd, even after all that? No, no, he dedd fr fr. It's just his last few seconds.He's...tryna reach sumn?
Rolled 9, 8, 10, 17, 4, 17, 9, 12, 17, 1 = 104 (10d20)Ohh. Wants his girly's goldy mally, wot he left by the door to his room. You move it juuuust away.>nooooope>lalOoh, the pain onniz face, just before his light fades! Fuggen groose bumpz, izza izza! Now yez alluz gotta gudd 'un to tell ovva gobboys over eatz n swiggs. If yez evva have a mobb again.Oh well!You yoink the Holy Moley Mally, Holy Moley Book, shove everfin in wiv Sordyfagg's body innada Pouch.Then you post Moar Ow as lookout while you go about cleaning up Ͳ, sopping up the blood with dry rags, then mopping up with wet rags. You use yez keen gobby schnozz to sniff out droplets wot got splatted where you carnt see, then you splash it wiv dirty soap water and mop again. Knowing that Towser exists is reason enough for the extra work. If you ever fight that fleafactory mogger it will be on your terms.All done, you put the table, chairs, and etc in the scullery back proppa-like, and get to lewtn Sordyfagg's room.°°°There's a finer touch needed when you lewtz someone wots dedd and supposed not to be. Yez carnt take everfin dat don't make sense for their taking. Like the whole shelf of sorted gimgams n gubbins. Like all the big fatty toily books wivva gold edging on the other shelf. But the things he might take if he went out, like hiz Sord n belts, hiz smol moneys, iron brims, smol helff potts onna belt bag, sum good levva vests, you bag.Things that other people shouldn't know about, you bag: couple goldy rings inna velvy box, four crystal bottles of BIG booz, one teeny black corked bottle wivva drippy noif label, smellz reeeely spikey noisop nogrog, an extra fikk pot wiv purple speckles in, fings like that.And of course, the big keyhoop you've seen him go about with.Without the Wondrous Pillager Pouch it would have taken at least a mobb of ten to haul all that safely into the night.The night's only half over; it's not even moon-drop yet. But yez don't want to stick here long, just in case. Yez wantza getz back, patch up, n count lewts! Yez gonna give Seafood his divvy, of course: one and half of the BIG boozes, you bury the rest, savem for badder days, the Sord n Mally, the big purp pot.But the rest is YOUrs!QM rollan lewts
[MARTELLETO SOCCORA][Csarfena's Gave]Dmg +4Spell Charges:>Sicuro Fulmine 3/3 (Holy Bolt)>Valoranima 1/1 (Heroism)>Guarire 2/2 (Heal)>Immagine del'ente Carita 1/1 (Channel Divinity: Heal)
[AVVINCENTE DIVORZIO][Pieté's Brand]+8dmg +1 Radiant dmgSpell Charges:>Bellico Favore 4/4 (Divine Grace; +2 Radiant dmg for 2 rounds)>Marchio Ira 2/2 (Wrathful Smite; +2 dmg and inflict Terror for 1 round)>Immagine del'ente Carita 1/1 (Channel Divinity: Judge; +9 to Hit, +3 Radiant dmg for 3 rounds)
>>6089347>>6089359both are Proscribed Productions; only saleable in Criminal Economies. Church Adherents will recognize them.Picrel is receipts that Pieté would have been either tedious or dangerous to fight if not ambushed literally naked.
edit>Sicuro Fulmine 3/3 (Holy Bolt; 4 Radiant dmg) >Valoranima 1/1 (Heroism; remove and immune Terror 2 turns, and +3hp in a zone) >Guarire 2/2 (Heal +6hp) >Immagine del'ente Carita 1/1 (Channel Divinity: Heal +10hp in a zone)in terms of hierarchy, Csarfena ranked higher.
"Aiih, to think that the Great Oneself should be reduced to a Goblin's nanny. Too far beyond the stretch of language! What Reason arrives thus? Haaaih." Dark Luminary, Blade Emperor, None Beyond, &c, sighed loudly for someone to hear and cower, or simper and pander. Either would do, so long as he felt Served.He used to have empires at heel. Temples of hierodules fitted and supplied for his...appetites. Sorceror armies made of the eunuch sons of his enemies; a forest of black spears, each one marking the end of a noble or gifted bloodline.All that sway and extravagancr now reduced to one greenoid with no hygiene and no manners, and a hovel at the edge of a ghost town.Not that he stayed despondent for long: there is no need to mourn the present beyond what is needed to crave the future twice as hard! He had been playing with these Dimm Culti for a bit, since his murderous disciple had gone off to help someone Across the Yellow Font, hmhm; they're a basic Deviant Alchemic creation: Living Crucibles, or Flesh Caulds. A low kind of Cultivation, or very poorly explored, since its practitioners were usually just dirty old men, or young talents too easily distracted by the pleasure of the process to strive for attainment. In a competent cultivator these Flesh Caulds would remain sentient, retaining most of their mind and memory, though volition constrained by spells and charms. The point of it was to burn up their Spiritual Root to form a Spirit Core for the cultivator to consume. These, being made from peasants, have no Root to begin with, so they could only be used as normal Alchemic Caulds, producing Pills and Medicines out of the rarities fed in. As Alchemic Caulds go, these are of Poor quality, barely good enough for Exterior Disciples to practice on. The good was, Tudi's natural fecundity augmented by his new False Spiritual Root, meant that he could reliably create many of these, or as many as they needed. If only they could take instruction! Then they could gather the herbs and so forth themselves and process it automatically. Haaih. Worthless.This loss of mind and memory was that so-termed "Dimmu Queen"'s doing. Through these Dimm Culti she was extending her vision, if not also her reach, into this Mundane Realm. Normally the Absolute™ would not take kindly to such intrusions on his privacy. But for Her he permitted it: if there was some way for her to reach into this Realm using these gray grinning dimwits he wanted to see it happen with his own eyes. If he understood her motivations he would tempt her to it, just to see, because to see is to discover, as to know is to learn.He was already working out how they fed sensation and information back to Dimmu; if the knowledge of reaching into the Dimm Realm ever came into his grasp, the so-termed Queen's reign would be pleasantly shortened, and he, Yang Wuhan, will have One Crown Dominion over Two Realms! No less deserves the Absolute™!•••"You're back, Tudi. What's good."
And it was not bad:Two magic weapons, and a small variety of this world's alchemic produce in the form of potions, a bloodstained Sutra. Loath as he was to pick up any dogshit Righteous collection of contrived parables and meaningless fairytales, he needed to know their foundational texts fairly well to masquerade as Righteous. In the natural course of things the Righteous sects present themselves resplendent, transparent, upright, and obvious (光明正大) in the mundane world; their secrets should be easier to steal, posing innocent and believing."You had no trouble.""Nerrh. Bitty trouble, Sweetfuds. Sordyfagg was tricksy. He ran and set off a zapzap at his door juzt before I geviddim.""It's good you know how to take good advice, to attack before he had any chance to use the spells in these; you would have lost twice the blood, and Mo Ao, hmph, needless said.""Yaz Sweetfuds. It wuz fanks to yez we goddem.""Good that you know.""Sweetfuds, I saved yez the Sordyfagg's body, and got yez sum big boozes to pair with.""How considerate. What a good and filial Tudi I have, a head above ten thousands.""Not me, Sweetfuds. I have a Maztur a biggylion biggylion heads above a biggylion biggylion. Headz. Er.""Hmhmhm. Well said. Come. Let this your Shifu toast you a cup."Wind Incarnadine, Gore Walker, Seven Crimson, &c, pours a healthy dram of VSOS into a clay cup, presenting it with head slightly bowed.The Goblin knew just what to do: it kowtowed hard (on a soft patch of sod) and cried, "SWEETFUDZ! I NO DARE! LET ME TOASTY SWEETFUDZ!""Hmhmhm. Then pour and toast me," said Death Tide, who had been wondering if the halfpit halfwit would be fool enough to get poisoned by his Teacher. It poured the VSOS into a wood dipper ladle that smelled of reused oil, taking care not to spill a drop, presenting it with both hands as one might a sword. "Well? What do you wish for me with your toast?""Errr, errr, nerrrm. I wish Sweetfudz runz away from enuff foitz ta grows oldy wrinkly, n eaten enuffs uvviz enemeez to gets biggy chonkenchunk, n ploppz bastards evverwherr, n diez inniz dreamz wivva lotsy debt to everone.""...You've widened the universe of my eyes, Tudi. Ganbei.">QM rollan for Dedd Sordy's LM worth[2C1R] [CHOICE 1] >SERCH >Cherch (Ш) (familiarity bonus +15) >Cherch (Ͳ) (familiarity bonus +15 +10) >Pit (familiarity bonus +10) >Mass Grave >Mart Street >Mayorate Court Courthouse (Familiarity bonus +15) >Mayorate Court Residence + Stables >Skirts >BLOOD GETTY >by chokey choke? (GARROTE) >by slashy slash? (DAGGA) >[From whence? Write-in] >CORPSE DUST GETTY >Pit (Dedder Dust collection bonus +40) >KLUDGE / STABBUTTAGG >[What? Write-in] >STALK >Towser >Stumpy >TownBoss>Pit WatchBoss >TRAINAN (Costs §2.5/day) (Carrionpede Form is currently at +4(/4) Hit Chance and +3(/4) Damage) (Gui Li imposes -1 to gains in Form per gain at this time; min gain is +1) (Improvement for TRAINAN is now Total of 3>150, OR Bo3 65)
Rolled 2 (1d3)CONT[CHOICE 2] >Day/Night? [ROLL] >1D100 [BALANCE SHEET] >§85.5 + 104 from SordyDedd - 3 from self patching - 4 for armor repair>=§182.5>68 Dedder Dusts>5 Dimm Cult >Toady 8/12HP (+3 from early rest and patching with Stuff) >Kludge Armor 12/12Dur (+4 from stuff)[UPKEEP OPTION]>Use 3 Dedder Dust to patch up the fukt Dimm Cult, Y/N?[NOTICE]One of the key figures in Derreschston is missing unaccounted. Sus level will increase by 3 per day starting tomorrow to a maximum of 15.>Yang Wuhan still needs 56LM -1d3>19 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 65LM >Derreschston Sus penalty -10
>>6089474Yang Wuhan still needs 56LM -2 = 54 >19 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 65LM - 2 = 63>Derreschston Sus penalty -10
>>6088608>>6088604>>6088504
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>6089471>Cherch (Ͳ) (familiarity bonus +15 +10)>Night
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>6089471are there any farm animals/livestock we could kill for some effortless LM?>Cherch (Ш) (familiarity bonus +15)we havent found anything good here yet>Night>5 Dimm Cultsend them to gather more corpse dust at the pit>Use 3 Dedder Dust to patch up the fukt Dimm Cult, Y/N?yes
>>6089512>can we gibb livestock?The few load animals and menopausal chickens have been accounted for in the town pop.Now that you mention it, yeah, the next time we go gibbing I should try to outrage Peta and That Vegan Creature.
>>6089512give you a +1LM for that on yer next gibb.It's not much, but I'm an honest jerk.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>6089512Yeah, I'll support this.We should also ask seafood what he's doing with the corpses of everyone we bring him. Is there a secret pile somewhere of drained bodies? Is he grinding them up in that grinder he made?
While he's in a good mood, you take the chance to ask him sumn that been bovveren you."Nrrm, Sweetfuds. When I plupps the wimmins wiv me Arse Splitta roit-""What."You present him Gobbgantua, aka Arse Splitter, which earns you a grimance. He closes his eyes and waves your pride and joy away. You cover it hurriedly."When I plupps em wivvit roit, I feelz like I wantz to pluppem. But after they go all gray n grinny I don't wantza plupp em. Izzit sumn wrong wiv Arse Splitta or them, yez fink?""Tudi. Do you plupp men.""Ff. No.. Mm not hoemoe gae.""What about female beasts.""Nerrh. You meanz animals? Or beastfolks?""Animals. First.""Sometimes. When derrs nuttn else ter nutt in. Don't wanna tho. Izz not va same.""What about beast folk.""Do they look like half wimmin? Proppy wimmin, wiv tiddies n cunts?""Does it matter.""A bit. A biggy bit. If theys top half looks like wimmin n botty half feelz like wimmin, like minoturs n centurs, iz all guddy pluppy. If they don't looks proppy but feelz proppy, like tree folkz, iz okey I gezz. If yez feelen kinkish."But if theys has weird tops N weird botties like fish folks n snek folks, itz like animals again."Nnm. Ah! Sum Fighty Ones can turn inna animals, or halfyhalf animals. Those feel guud. Like if yez beatem down n catchem while theyz changed, then pluppem until they chance back? OOooOhHH. Fuggen guud 'at iz. But if yez pluppenem normal and they tryda change into halfyhalfs itz annoyan.""What of the dead. Dead women.""Psh. No.""Beautiful dead women.""No.""Why.""S'becuz... cuz...erh. Yehh, nivver fott about dat. S'cuz they don't... gotz alivey eggzbottles?""What.""Theyz babygutts. Wots wiv they plopp out grublingz after yez plupp n splooj innem.""Hm. The womb. Does the idea of beast folk eggzbottles arouse you.""Mmno. Gotza fink a bit so theyz proppa wimmin eggzbottles in me hedd when Iz pluppenem."How interesting. An instinct not only to breed prodigiously, but to target the most ... accommodating, mmfufu... hosts to fertilize.The Goblin species being only male necessitates parasitic (destroys the host for the parasite's gain) reproduction, while their instincts streamlines the process.The Principle of Accommodating Advance under Mundane Tao (Evolution) cannot create such beings unless they arise in an area ancient with dense abnormal Qi. The Qi in this world is thin and even; there are few such places, none famous, or the Origin of Goblins would be purported, if not known.A curiosity that bears investigation."I see you have your answer.""Yaz Sweetfuds. Fanks yez Sweetfuds.""Go away. And wash your cactus."{loredump post
looks like there arent any new votes coming in
Rolled 51 (1d100)>Cherch (Ш) (familiarity bonus +15) >Night >Bo3 79 + 15 for Search>GREAT SUCCESS>79 + 30 - 10 Sus penalty>=99QM rollan Derreschston's vigilance
Rolled 6, 1, 2, 6, 4 = 19 (5d6)>Dimm Cult sent to harvest Corpse Dust at -10 Gen Penalty>79 + 30 Night - 10 Sus - 10 Dumb = 89>NOT BUSTED>5d6 instead of 5d10 Corpsedust gathering because even though larger, they don't have a Pouch>no +40 Harvest Bonus that Toady has, because they can't tell which bodies are good for Corpsedust>they just dig, get, bring back by Night, grind down by Day>Use 3 Dedder Dust to patch up the fukt Dimm Cult, Y/N? yes
>>6090707Three droogz iz enuff
>>6090810
what model do you use for all these images?
You make wood+rag stoppaz for all the empty booz bottles you got, and stitch up a new swagsack; you'll be raiding new freshy fuddz and you feel nyucky about putting fudds togevvah inna Pouch wiv the bags of Dedder Dust.A light munch and a swigg of Necht Zuggsteigg and you're off! "C'manz, dedd heddz. Time na woik!"Two stops on this outing: you lead the Dimm Cult the long way around Plague Town, following the Skirts, until you hit the Mass Grave. Once there you mark out a few likely places where there might be corpses without Whitey simbils on, and wot still got theyz heartz n nogginz."Roit, eejits. Dig up the bodies starting here, brung em back, n keep doing it until sun-up start. Goddit? " You don't really look for a response; you'll know if they goddit later, when you get back.Next stop, the Ш half of the cherch. You remember a big messhall and kitchen on the ground floor wiv someone cooking in it, prolly the workchumps; you remember a locked armory wot you didn't have the time (or the keys, nyehh heh hehh!); there might be summat else in dere, and you feel ?uch safer now dat you've gone and topped Sordyfagg, RIP1.You take everything a bit slower, with every advantage on your side:>yerz jezt serchen this one place this time>you know there's no soljaz, coppaz, workchumps, cowed boiz, savvijjiz, or slaves sangin all hours at the Ш, despite popular understanden>and Humie workchumps like to hide lewts where they fink no one looks, jezt like YOUOne round on the outside, just peeken n sniffen; no smelz, no lights, all clear.Kitchen first. Dindinz here I cummz! 1: Ræpt Inniz Pen0rz, GYEHH heh heh HEHH!!
Rolled 4, 9 + 4 = 17 (2d10 + 4)>>6090901just bing. c o m, image creator. No model, just shitpost a prompt, with " , Renaissance painting" or something for art style.This is the golden age of /qst/.rollan for missed fudd lewts.
There's some slop pailz near the cook stoves for peelens n gristle, upended: empty and rinsed. Humies do this when theyz got piggys nearish. You might try to sniff em out lader.BUT! Since all the leftyovers are gone, you'll jezt have FRESH eats instedd, nyeh herh!Whatever you can munch as iz, you do: applz, materz, cukes, tripe and brawn brine, unyuns, bredd endz, budda, cheez.You swigg Necht Zuggsteigg as you eat; somehow you can keep more in when yer swiggen Bigg booz as you go.Whatever you can't narm immediately, or might go down better cooked, you swagg: taterz, smoked sides of horse and beef, bread scabs, pumppkernz, gristle stock, boiled joint jellies coolen inna tubb, gritty flour, four kindsy dried beans, sunned fish; salt, sugar, oil.You stash as much as yez can in the bottles and jammy jarz yez got, n wrap those in rags: those go innada Pouch. Just this lot might keep you alive for a bit over a munf, on starvation rations.But better than a full belly and a week of big good eats is the thought that in the morning, some sorry bastich wots known fer nickken nomz is gonnae get pinched for what YOU did. Just finka dat poor muvva, getting dragged out bed n cornered n boxed from all directions, then stripped nikked and asked and beat about shidd he got nuffina do wid and dunno nuffin. Jezt shoutyshouty bashybashy, all day, all long, until he goes to sleep hungry and crying. GYEKKekekekekekek!!
Rolled 6, 16, 17, 2, 1, 17, 2 = 61 (7d20)After a long steamy pess inna grass outside>feelz gooOOood ngannyou go for the armory, slightly unfocused.With the keys you yoinked off Sordyfagg's deddmeatz you get in easy. The smell of iron, metal polish, quench oil, leather, cockle salt kieselguhr; think fossil pumice hits you. Ahh! Smellz like robbery!Everything is stacked real nice, easy to find what's good.You go through it like a buffet, two or three each:One corner's all armor, quite cheapy stuff: quilt long coats with tall collars, greaves and bracers, plain iron.Next that, a stack of iron hats, chainmail hoods and hobnailed shoes.Pollaxes, an axe-hammer-pokey on a braced wood stock, in bundles ten; you take three, one from each of the deepest bundles.Assorted polearm heads, kindy shoddy; some have already been fixed on staves.Lotsa small-ball maces with an iron punch-guard, couple longer axe-pick ones.Almost as many short swords, obviously reclaimed or donated, none new: shapes and grades different, all kindsa hilts, rust spots and nicked edges.Then it's a small forge and anvil, some quenches, a workbench, tool chests, a pedal grinder, and a shelf of tally books. The forge has no soot in it; new built. Can't tell with the anvil: it might have been donated scuffed. Same with the pedal grinder: smells like iron, doesn't mean it's been used here. In a separate corner, locked boxes. The flat case ones are magic or helf potts in 24s. Easily counted because of the slotted cases, so you leave those alone for now.Theres one or two longer lock cases, with fancier wood and a biggy seal onna front, like the ones in the attic in Ͳ. These need two different keys of the same type to open, but Sordyfagg's keyhoop only has one. They don't seem like magic, so you can take an axe to the hinges, easier to do than the locks. Lol, dum Humies, making thinny nicey hinges for something needing two locks. If it wuz you, the box'd be locked on four sides. Then again, if it wuz you, all this woulda been a waste of work n good Stuffs.You chip away at the wood the hinges are fixed on. Once they're weakened enough you ease them out with a pickaxe head.Done!Inside of the longy boxes are a couple longsords, bit elvishy looky, good bet they're magic; four shiny fatty collars truesilver gorgets with matching buckle bracers and buckle greaves. You're yoinking this lot. Theyre far too big n hefty for YOU to use personally, but Seafood should be able to, even in his little girl shape. At any rate, the lot you've nicked already is enough to fully outfit a roit thuggy mobb of 8-12 gobbs without any quarrels.Question is, what to do with the rest.[TACTICAL DECISION]>yoink the WHOLE lot, board up the air slots, lock the door>leave everything else, but CorpseDust the place at a cost of 30 DD; whoever comes in here after you will get a -30 gen penalty without their noticing>Corpsedust more than -30 (qty?)CONT
Rolled 20, 7 = 27 (2d100)>48 mana pots, 72 helf pots, a bunch of empties to mix half-halves if they need to; wanna poison 3d20 of these with a drop of the bottle of "noisop nogrog" you found in Sordyfagg's room (18 Stuffs value)? (Dedder Dust will show up at the bottom of the potts)>Pack all your BOOMputty (12 Stuffs value) in the furnace's stovepipe, at about Humie eye height; take the screws out of that bit of piping, clip most of their tails off, put the BOOMputty and some small nails in the seaming, then screw the piping back with the shortened screws. >Leave everfin untouched, go back n ask Seafood wat do. He might tell you to do sumfin else first. This will take up at least one more day and one more trip back here.>ELSE?Multiple options may be picked, so long as they don't conflict.Doing this may not be useful, though. Example: if you steal EVERYTHING and also throw -30 worth of DD in, very few are going to get hit with that -30. Or, if you inflict >-30 worth of DD in the room, they will more likely check everything before they use them, including the potts and forge.>>6089769>>6089482>>6089512Droogs, discuss. Roll-off only if you feel necessary.If you arrive at a decision in 16hrs, I'll get to writan.>2d100 for moar lewts>because 61 is too small for this haul
>61+27>=89 StuffsThe RNGods have spoken, and they say>Bollocks2UMost of what you have looted is shit quality.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>6091108>>leave everything else, but CorpseDust the place at a cost of 30 DD; whoever comes in here after you will get a -30 gen penalty without their noticing>Leave everfin untouched, go back n ask Seafood wat do. He might tell you to do sumfin else first. This will take up at least one more day and one more trip back here.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>6091108i wanted to agree with anon #1 first, but then i thought: why not just take all their weapons? that way some might not be armed when we have to fight them later (which should be more beneficial to us than a possible -30 penalty)>yoink the WHOLE lot, board up the air slots, lock the door>Pack all your BOOMputty (12 Stuffs value) in the furnace's stovepipe, at about Humie eye height; take the screws out of that bit of piping, clip most of their tails off, put the BOOMputty and some small nails in the seaming, then screw the piping back with the shortened screws.
>>6091175>1 again>NAT 1 Anonwhyi mean nothing that bad should come of this right??
>>6091177>2 x nat1Lordamercy, just who did you cut off in traffic.>w-w-whats gonna happen QM Rick?I'll tell you what's gonna eeurrk[/b] happen Morty: bullshit. Bullshit's gonna, gonna happen Morty, like a, a, fucking Tsunami Morty. Like, like, like if what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah was just a a a skim milk latte and a chillidog Morty? This one's gonna be kebabs and yogurt Morty. And not just any kebabs and yogurt Morty! It's gonna be yesterday's kebabs and yogurt, and it's gonna be from the food truck whose driver keeps scratching his ass, and his armpits don't stop dripping somehow Morty. Dripping into the FOOD Morty! It's gonna be that kind of a bad shit Morty, and we're gonna eeurrk RIDE that sonovabitch Morty! W-w-we're gonna ride that Seventy Times Seven Apocalyptic Super Tsunami of Shit all the way to Uranus with our mouths open Morty!! 1Mehh, dunworryboudit.
>>6091148if you corpsedust this place and then decide to come back to do more bullshit based on Seafood's instructions, you are going to suffer -20 to your rolls for the next 3 days.I'll pack in a small reward for you being this based.
>>6091190Hmm that changes things, we really don't need any negative modifiers to our rolls>yoink the WHOLE lot, board up the air slots, lock the door>Pack all your BOOMputty (12 Stuffs value) in the furnace's stovepipe, at about Humie eye height; take the screws out of that bit of piping, clip most of their tails off, put the BOOMputty and some small nails in the seaming, then screw the piping back with the shortened screws.
Rolled 58, 58, 64, 17, 25, 19, 49, 61 + 200 = 551 (8d100 + 200)STRAT LOCKED:>yoink the WHOLE lot, board up the air slots, lock the door >Pack all your BOOMputty (12 Stuffs value) in the furnace's stovepipe, at about Humie eye height; take the screws out of that bit of piping, clip most of their tails off, put the BOOMputty and some small nails in the seaming, then screw the piping back with the shortened screws.Rollan for just how much is all this.
>>6091457gosh darn low rolls...
>>6091464An armory full of mass-produced pig-iron and sino-steel cutlery from a charity box...The Scaromate Ordinary is broke as fuck.
No need to overplot; big plans usually go wrong by step two anyway. YER RAKIN IN LEWTS BEYBEY!Going as fast as you can you haul whole bales, baskets, bundles and piles. They feel too chippy or bendy to your experienced thieving grubbers. You guess a lot of this is big on coppa n lead, so's to skimp on iron. Musta been hastily ordered out of villages or sumn. Or bought off at bulk discount a gleeful ger-nome merchant somewhere who immediately vanished into a nearby tunnel. You've stolen much better before, even the metal working tools. Hekk, the pickaxe heads from the Pit has less rust and more iron than most of these. Four no-grip pliars with two of them nearly rusted shut, four large screwdrivers of the same size and head, a hacksaw with no spares, and a woodsaw with missing teeth. These Whities seem to have taken up some Gobby philosophy when it comes to hoarding: make it cheap and crap and maybe no one will steal it. Fur fuggz sake...BUT! To keep things in perspective, YOU have your lovely Swagger Pouch, so you WILL nick the bally lot, nyerr, just to make it so that (((They))) will have next to nuffins when they desperately needz it! No pottz, no metal hats and no bashyslashy! AND! All this being so shit in quality means you can kludge it into something useful to YOU much easier! Copper plates for your kludge armor would be less bulky at least, maybe a bit heavier; and you'll have no end of shivs n shanks!Gotza lookz onna bright side!When you've emptied the lot, even the tally books, the pedal grinder and the tool chests, you start on your next bitty mischief, something Heckle-Heckle came up with before he blew himself up: you unscrew a panel of the forge's stovepipe out at around eyeheight, use some metal clippers to snip nearly all the tail off each screw, and smoosh the snipped tails with small nails into the BOOMputty you nicked from the Pit.You're not sure how strong this BOOMputty is - Heckle-Heckle said there's exo loads n crit temps n burn rates n whatnot - so you use the whole stick, just to be sure. Once the putty has metal mooshed in, you smear some sheeping tar on the interior of the pipe and stick your mess of loaded BOOMputty all around the interior of the pipe. It will still have airflow, so no one will catch on until the forge fire reaches the stove pipe, and then it will BOOM right in their copeholes, the clipped nail heads and the stove pipe panel adding to the shrapnel, facing the front of the forge.The one to start the forge will die bleeden n blind n deaf n be all like>wad da fugg>wad da -ackgyehh heheheh!Boom trap preppt, you lock up: shut and latch the airhole windows so no one has peeksies in, screw the issuing window in place from behind, then woodglue the hinges on the main door before going out and locking the place. They'll waste a day jezt getting in, and when they do, getta prize of biggy fatty NUFFIN.gyehh herr!
Rolled 4, 4, 3 = 11 (3d4)On the way back to the Dedder Dump (Mass Grave) to collect yer Dimmies you have a bright finky.What if you kept all the helff potts and gave Seafood just the mana potts? He won't notice if he don't know, right?72 helff potts ain't nuffin. You usually don't get any, because Fighty Ones drink everfin when you givvidem em too good, and no one ever sells to goblins. You think about your foits wiv Sordyfagg and Moar Ow. If you had this little lot in a tinny that you could swigg out of inna middle of the scrapp you might have had more options instead of having to go all-in and gamble wiv yer jumblies.Seafood won't need helff potts anyway; he's too strong even as a little girl, and YOUre the one doing all the dirty work.What's stopping you?You think really hard: there's nothing wrong with your idea at all. And yet... and yet...You don't do it. Don't take the helff potts n bury em somewhere for later. Instead, you slowly uncork the helff potts one by one and dribble a few drops out of each into a nearly empty oil kittle wot you got from the armory forge. You put a screw in a small picy cork for a stopper and tie a cord loop around the kittle, and you have yourself a handy tuffy swigg bottle of helffy juice.>[Helff Swigga] GETTY!!!>6/6 Swiggs>4hp to YOU per swigg>Refills with 1 Mid or 3 Smoll Helff PottsBy the time the kittle's full, you've done all the helff potts. Then you do the same to the mana potts, except you dribble those into the Necht Zuggsteigg you emptied over dinner. When it's all done, all the bottles liquids looks nearly uniform again. Except for the grub prints you left while handling them.>shidd.You wipe them hastily.>ah!The cloth you wiped it on was from the armory and oily! >wat fuk wat fuk nnnnn>...ah!You wipe ALL the bottles with the same cloth, then all the boxes, outsides n innies. You're going to tell Seafoods you found em all dat way in the armory. If he's still gonnae thrash yez after dat, welp, you tried; there's jezt no runnen from some fingz.°°°After burying the bones and skins of Seafood's leftovers in the main part of the Dedder Dump you all troop back to camp, where you show off your swaggz before the grinning Dimmies and Seafood.On seeing the Elf longsords and fatty Dorfy collars Seafood arrests you."These war-tools are not simple; Phoenixes above pigeons, against the others. Did you find any documents with these."To this you hand him the tally books, the only paper stuff you found.When you show him the potts, to no surprise, he takes them all, uncorking one of each type for a taste.If he feels the oiliness on the glass he doesn't mention it; maybe he's getting used to your perfectly acceptable standard of cleanliness. Or maybe he's testing you, letting fings slide so you'll get bolder and carelesser later. You keep yer face supa grinny, so's he carnt see yer little twitches.QMroll1: days gainedQMroll2&3: LM gained
Seafood pops the corks on a mana and a helff pott, tasting each in turn while you watch, grinning anxiously.He smacks his lips."Supplementary Vital Qi in a suspended medium, as very low quality spirit stones process for the consumption of Mundanes. Tudi.""Ah! Yiss! Er. Yiss?""Did you put poison in these.""N-no! Toady no dare poisnny Sweetfudd's drinkies!""Hm. I did not think so. My eye for talent is not wrong; not even one drop of Alchemic talent in you. But your complexion...is unwholesome. What are you hiding from me, Tudi.""Ner-ner-nuffinz! Looky! I bringy outy everfin!"And you do: the whole swagg you got from the armory. At first you think youve impressed him, because he's gone quiet. But then you hear it in his voice:"Tudi. How much did you take from their stockpile." "Alluvit! Dissiz alluvit! Now theys (almost) nuffin to foits me wif, and I can clear the whole towny easy!"You read Seafood's expression and feel yez cockles shrink. He's trying not to kill you.At last he turns his face from you."Short. Sighted." he says, and doesn't elaborate. He starts swigging the potts instead of booz, while you get to stowing all the stuff you hauled out of the Pouch.>He's twigged on yez!>Somehow!>And yez still alive!>Letz never try dat again!>Dis munf![BALANCE SHEET]>§182.5 + 14 Fudd Lewts + 89 Armory Lewts + 551 Armory Lewts - 12 BOOMputty - 3 Self Patch>=§821.5>68 Dedder Dusts - 3 to repair Dimmies + 19 DD gained>=84 DD>5 Dimm Cult >Toady 11/12HP (+3 from Self Patch) >Kludge Armor 12/12Dur (+4 from stuff) >Helff Swigga 6/6 gluggz[MAIN OBJECTIVE]>Yang Wuhan still needs 54LM -7 = 47LM>19 + 4 = 23 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 63LM>Derreschston Sus penalty -10 - 3(/15) from Sordyfagg Missing[2C1R][CHOICE 1] >SERCH >Cherch (Ш) (familiarity bonus +15) (mostly sacked apart from kitchen, maybe one or two upstairs roomz...) (if you sack the kitchen it WILL be noticed by breakfast)>Cherch (Ͳ) (familiarity bonus +15 +10) >Pit (familiarity bonus +10) >Mass Grave >Mart Street >Mayorate Court Courthouse (Familiarity bonus +15) >Mayorate Court Residence + Stables >Skirts >BLOOD GETTY >by chokey choke? (GARROTE) >by slashy slash? (DAGGA) >[From whence? Write-in] >CORPSE DUST GETTY >Pit (Dedder Dust collection bonus +40) >KLUDGE / STABBUTTAGG >[What? Write-in] >STALK >Towser >Stumpy >TownBoss >Pit WatchBoss >TRAINAN (Costs §2.5/day) (Carrionpede Form is currently at +4(/4) Hit Chance and +3(/4) Damage) (Gui Li imposes -1 to gains in Form per gain at this time; min gain is +1) (Improvement for TRAINAN is now Total of 3>150, OR Bo3 65)[CHOICE 2] >Day/Night? [ROLL] >1D100 >>6088608>>6088604>>608850440hrs
>>6091763>TRAINAN>Day
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>6091771
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>6091763oh wow we got more days!>STALK>Towserand i would like to try to kill him while we are already therewe cant have towser sniffing us out later>NightWould it be a bad idea if we let one of the dimm be found by the humans? my thinking being that they wont connect that with toady and that way they are worried about other things than a single goblinanon #3 where are you? come back to us!
>>6091901>moar days!>yess!You cheapshotted a key figure into a wretched end. Of course you should be rewarded.
>>6091901>let one of the Dimm be found by humansUnder what circumstance and for what purpose?
>>6091938idki was just thinking that MAYBE we could go unnoticed longer if they watch out for smiling grey people instead of a short green creatureon the other hand that would raise their alertness level probablybut isnt that high already anyway? many people went missing without a trace (other than blood sometimes) and now the armory got cleared outif we let them find one of the dimm they will think every missing person became like thatthey wont connect that to the armory thingso at worst they will call in more church fags to investigate, which might lead them to the dimmu queen, but that doesnt concern us (right now at least)thats what my tiny brain thought of
>>6091958Sus penalty capped at -40. After that they can't get any more vigilant even if paranoid.Current Sus at -13 is still not too high, if you only act by Night, and haven't put the pop. below 60.Sending the Dimm Cult to harass the Town will just spike the general Sus level with no real gain to YOU. Townies will be extra vigilant for gray grinning creepy people, but their widened twitchy eyes will also be open to spot YOU.An additional disadvantage: if the Townies manage to kill a Dimm Cult and somehow send a detailed SOS, or worse, an SOS with the dead body out of town for study...
>>6091983
okokokthen... lets let them gather dedder dust again (its a surprise tool that will help us later)
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>6091901supporting thissorry im late lads
>>6092646=DDD>STALK >Towser >Night >61+30-13>=78, SUCCESS>SPY + KILLI'll need to cook this a bit.Writan starts 16hrs.
>>6092646>>6091901>>6091848[TACTICAL DECISION]Attempting to engage Towser will likely rouse Stumpy, his owner.Will you:>Deploy Mo Ao to screen one while you attack the other? Whom and whom?OR>Get Mo Ao to help you bumrush one in an attempt to finish them quickly? Whom?Will you also:>Attempt to use noisop nogrog on your slashyslashy? (9 stuffs each)>Attempt to use noisop nogrog sling darts? (3 stuffs each) (you expect some failure on light armor though...)>Smear noisop nogrog onna shiv and let Moar Ow attempt sumn (6 stuffs; one only because he's a skull a spine and 3 ribz)>Any Combi totalling 18 max>Else?>No, saving the noisop nogrog
>>6092721>Deploy Mo Ao to screen one while you attack the other? Have Mo Ao screen Stumpy, Towser is ours>Attempt to use noisop nogrog sling darts?
>>6092721>Deploy Mo Ao to screen one while you attack the other? Have Mo Ao screen Towser, We take out Stumpy first>Attempt to use noisop nogrog on your slashyslashy?lets see what this does. i just think sling darts wont go through thick fur
>>6093085correct; darts vs fur = damage reduced, in exchange for engaging at 1-turn range
24hrs moar, or until I see a third opinion
summoning anon #3 surely there is some lurker who can give a quick vote
Rolled 2 (1d2)fuggit we rollferrit1:>>60927432:>>6093085
>>6093252Given the darts vs matchup the better option won
>>6093270*darts vs fur
Rolled 6, 2 + 24 = 32 (2d10 + 24)Rollan Stumpy hpTowser hp will be the larger of the 2d10s +24
Rolled 26 (1d100)Busy + CharGen + pic gen writan delayedstill goinQM rollan for Gille's alertness.
tireddelay 12hrs
"Killing, Tudi."You put down the bottle of "noisop nogrog" you were about to drip your Dagga wiv. It's unlikely, but if you died because you accidently nicked and poisoned yourself you'd be beyond angy."Yaz Sweetfuds. Derrs a biggy mutt wot bit me at the end ovva Plague Town Mains. Bin meaning ter take his bwolls offem but I wuz busy dat time. Mutt gotta Boss, I callem Stumpy cuz he's one leg missen. I figger I gotsa fix him first.""And what is that you are going to fix him with.""ionno. Once I stabbem wivvit we both find out, I guezz.""What a clever idiot, a ready answer for everything. Give it me."You do so almost unthinkingly. Your eyes widen when Seafood lifts it to his lips. But he doesn't drink, just inhales through the mouth, thoughtfully flapping his tongue over his top teeth with his mouth open. You stifle a snigger; Seafood looks retarded."le le le le le. hff. hffhff. mm. Petrifier Poison, with some inert adulterant for volume. Forced calcifaction and ferrication of soft tissue seems to be the main mechanisms; a partial interfeeding process. No Bestial Odor; seems an Alchemic imitation of a known substance. Not bad.""nner. Wazzat mean. Wazzut do.""Turns them stone, to your eyes. It must hurt terribly, mfufu.">Identified GORGON POISON>Does additional immediate damage with piercing or cutting attacks>Target loses 1 Defense roll for the next three turns>eg if they decide to Attack, they will not have any Defense>if they decide on full Defense, it will only be Defendx1 + Act, or Defendx2 no Act.this is revealed because you gibb Stumpy in one turn; no chance to see the effects otherwiseNow that you know what it does, you save it for when you need to really cheat. Stumpy's too weak to waste this on. So's Towser, without his Boss. You can take em one at a time just cheating normally.•••You start by breaking through the back of the Town, from the Dedder Dump side; you're avoiding the end of Mains, where Towser is.From there you dip a little into Mart Street, and you're here: the back of Stumpy's house.You get entry from the kitchen window, figuring Stumpy will have his sleepies somewhere downstairs, because he's stumpy inna leg.You smell a bitty booz breath and follow it. There he is: Stumpy the Humie, asleep onna couch in front of the fire. He's older and leaner than Sordy, smells of animal and blood; bathes just the right amount. He doesn't snore, even when boozed; must be a habit. Should be a light sleeper then, but he's fully out. Musta been working hard all day huh, da poor fing.You get out Daggy n Sicky and one ferocious SUICIDEY later, he's beddybye forr evah.You peek out the living room window: Moar Ow's still where you sent him: across the street towards the Mayorate Court, looking this way.Towser's not making a sound. Probably not asleep, knowing that sneeky bastich mutt, but Moar Ow has gotten his full attention.
You've just finished stuffing Stumpy and his blood-soaked cushions innada Pouch when there's a crash like pottery from outside. Almost immediately, fire, air burning orange, and Towser BOARKing his muttmonster head off. >nerh?>da fuggYou race to the front door, throwing it open to see: biggy tree infrunnada the house on fire.Then you hear a thwipp somewhere above a behind and feel a sharpy poke in your back.>4 dmg >Kludge Armor saves 3 dmg, loses 2 Dur>Toady 11/12hp>Kludge Armor 10/12Dur"Gakk!! Hey! Das cheatn!"You see the little shit: a bit past grubling age, short bow. He'd waited until you opened the door and stood still in it before loosing at your silhouette. Clever. "Mm comman fer yez BRAINZ negzt brat! Finna slurp it out yez skull wivva STRAR!!"He ducks out of sight and you hear an upstairs door slam.There's glisteny oily stuff glopping over the top steps out of a wide-mouthed bottle.You risk a glance back out: yup, that's the tree holding Towser's rope. You might have a minute or two before the fire weakens it enough for doggface to snap it free of the tree.When Towser breaks free, he'll be coming at your back.But if you don't get the kid...>muvva fuggen SHIDD[TACTICAL DECISION]>CHASE THE LIDDLE SHIT>GIBB DA MUTT>>6092743 >>6093085Writan when va two killa droogs report in.
AND ROLL 1D100
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>6094150>CHASE THE LIDDLE SHITno one shall see us and live you caught me right before bedtime!
>>6094177anon #2 please save this roll
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>6094150>CHASE THE LIDDLE SHIT>>6094179Anon #2 to the rescue! (hopefully)
>>6094199Never mind
>>6094199when i dont roll a 1 i often roll the highest...can we break that habit at some point (preferably now) please?anon #3 if youre still with us: we require your assistance now more than ever!hurry up before QM returns!(now i really go to bed tho)
lmao, I'll allow one more anon in then.>>6092646>>6089769>>6088504Paging droogs.>>6094177Bedtime anon, sleep is impt. I'll let this sit for 12hrs. Go zzz.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>6094150>>CHASE THE LIDDLE SHITGET BACK HERE FUGGER
Rolled 49 (1d100)>QMRollan for a plucky, promising little Rogue >wots about to get his short life cut even shorter
>>6094329You go up the stairs, but not like a dumdum: that slicky stuff could be anyfin, oil, glue. On the step before the slick starts, you continue to go up by climbing the outside of the bannister. When you reach the top, just before you hup up and over, you spot anuvva trap: the top of the handrails have been smeared too, with the same stuff. You squeeze between the badly spaced columns, not touching the handrails.Then you step on something round and owwie and almost slip: marbles? No, slingshot sluggs: Waste slag from forge work melted again for lead, then poured out into clay trays with pocks innem. Once the lead sets, break the tray and round the set lead pocks into sluggs. >Noice.>Gotsa remembah dat.You spy the closed room, open it slowly, so you don't get jumped from behind the door or sumn. Bedroom.Quick scan, no movement. Stab through the covers, look innada cupboard, unnada bed.>wat da>waaaaid>derrs two uvva rooms>theys doors were open>the wee bastich slammed this door to fake me out>SHIDDYou look through the first open door: storage, all clutter, near no place to hide and can't reach the windows.That leaves one room, door slightly ajar. You creep, fully alert.>ah-ha!>yez fots yez were clever didjerYou see on the top of the door is a biggy can balanced between the door and the jamb, so that if you walked innada door it would topple on yez 'edd and dent yez.Times wasting and Towser's rope's burning: you kick the door open and leap three goblin steps back.The can topples down, denting the floor where you would have been, spilling >snf?turpentine?The window's open! The bedsheet's tied onna bedpost to rappel out and down! Yez gotza catch dat-fthUNK>Toady Bo3 41 >vs Qivin 49 >OOF>8dmg >Kludge Armor soaks 6dmg for 3Dur, rounded up>Toady 11-2 = 9/12hp>Kludge Armor 10-3 = 7/12Dur-youre punched backwards by something too fast to dodge. It goes through two biggy plank pieces on your chest and jabs you deeper than the arrow that hit your back, drawing blood and knocking the wind out of you. >wat da fuggen watYou look down at it: a crossbow bolt. You look up again, innada room: the little shit's rolled out from unnada bed, where he'd been laying with a biggy crossbow aimed at the door; probably Stumpy's."Ooh, you little SHIT!!"You get up just as he begins to rappel out the window."Yez fuggen booger bugg'ole GEDDBEKK'ERE!!"You're just through the door when he holds up something in his hand!>Fire Flask!And you're in the middle of turpentine!>SHIT!!!You backpedal, backroll until you hit the wall outside, then side roll just in case, just in time.You totally dodged the...the.>SHIDD!!He faked you out AGAIN!![ROLL FOR THE CHASE!!]>1d100 with +30 Night Bonus>vs Qivin 1d100 +15 for Familiarity into Mart Street>>6094310>>6092646 >>6089769 >>6088504>>6094199>>6094177QM will be back in 10+hours
Qivin's a filthy sneekn moddn cheatn spawncamper izzenee.just like YOU
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>6094453surely QM wont roll an 80+ or anythingi have a bad feeling about this...
>>6094514nevermind i have my high roller powers backwhen we get to him, can we incapacitate him and bring him back to seafood? i think he would love a living meal again after so longwithout his master towser isnt such a big issue anymorewhat do you think anons?
Rolled 17 (1d100)QM rollan picrel
Youre closing on him, galloping on all fours; the moment he stumbles, or has a split second's indecision, you'll go right into the Carrionpede Form and gibbem.Neither of these happen; he knows where he is on Mart Street, and where he wants to be. He also knows where the alleys join and which buildings are empty and zips in and out a couple of them trying to lose you.Too bad each improvised stumbling block and cheap shot he makes against you just wastes seconds. They're all kidz tricks in the end.And you got your nose and night-sight pointing him out, against which his U-turns and double-ducks do nothing. In the empty quiet of Mart Street at night, every little noise he makes is crisp.Losing his trail is almost hard for you: he's got some iron on him, spots of turpentine, and his clothes got a certain kind of gutty. In about a quarter Time he's getting winded, stops zipping around, makes for where he meant to go at the end, straight lines.You suppose he has a specific killing ground in mind; it'd be fairly easy to use everything he's got against you, if he had total homeground advantage and a bitty time. Now, he can only hope to trap and stall you then try to get away, most likely back out to Main then either to the Cherch or the TownBoss' Stockade. You guess you're there when he takes half a second longer to go through the door; he means for you to glimpse n follow. It's a biggy sunyard with a small tannery shop at the back. To your reckoning he's left the crossbow behind for being too biggy to use on the run; four or five smally arrows left, and a longy choppa wot he picked up that he doesn't really have the strength to handle; and one Fire Flask.You don't go in from the back door, like he wants; you climb up a post to the ceiling, giving you full view of front and back and sides of the workshop.From there you start your own ruse. "Where da fugg dat widdle waskal go. Come oooout liddle boyyy. Toady aint finna hurcha."As you say this, you get a pre-made noose lasso from the Pouch, lower it to catch on both door handles of the double-doors in frunnada shop, and quietly garrote it closed. The front double-doors are still not locked tight, but he won't be getting out from there fast enough to make it. He might still try the front windows though...You give him no time to think: slapping the windows closed on all sides of the shop, you drop into the back doorway, holding up Stumpy's half torso as a shield. A wavering arrow hits it, then the Fire Flask, which bounces off and breaks on the floor; you throw Stumpy down onna flames and sprint through.With all his ploys and bigg plays flopped, the little shit starts a screamy moan. He pushes against the main door to get out, but it's not opening far enough. You're two steps from entering his zone when he gives up and draws the choppa wots too bigg ferrim.He holds it double handed over his head like a longsword. One swing is all he's good for, youre sure.
[TACTICAL DECISION]>Take the hit and GIVVIDIM SUICIDEY (2 Attacks, 1 guaranteed to hit)>GIBBEM but normal (1 Attack 1 Def), so you might dodge his hitFor either of above, one successful attack will end Qivin the Gonad.>Switch to a long pokeypoke, play on his reach disadvantage (1 Attack, but Qivin makes 2 Def trying to close the distance again)>Bring out a prepared Kludge item (Write)Towser is 4 Turns behind YOU. Qivin screaming is a beacon
>>6094514>>6094329>>6094310>>609419920 hrs to next update.
Rolled 11, 72 = 83 (2d100)>>6095022>Take the hit and GIVVIDIM SUICIDEY
AND ROLL 2D100
Rolled 4, 77 = 81 (2d100)>>6095022>>GIBBEM but normal (1 Attack 1 Def), so you might dodge his hit He's a kid I doubt he has much HP to need two attacks to down. gonna wanna save some hp for towser
Rolled 56, 55 = 111 (2d100)>>6095022>GIBBEM but normal (1 Attack 1 Def), so you might dodge his hitsure lets do that then
Rolled 85 (1d100)Rollan desperate swing!
>>6095209>>6095194>>6095038before we make Qivin's bad day very very bad in 12 hrs,>>6094517has suggested not gibbing him, but turning him over to Seafood. For giving YOU so much trouble, the little shit deserves something a little worse than death.What say ye.
>>6095247Hand him over
>>6095247seafood will be pleased
"Wacha finna do wivvat beefy ol choppa liddle boyy. Bet itz hevvy as you iz. Itz ovah if yez mizz.""I won't."You rush into his zone the moment you finish speaking, thinking to fold him like a blanket while he's still answering.But his answer's terse, his focus complete, his form practiced. He didn't learn this on his own.He manages a half-side step as he swings, bringing the machete into your charge with full momentum. It's old, pitted everywhere, but no rust, no nicks; sharp as a boy can make it. It takes the tip off your ear then crunches into your shoulder, splitting the wicker and a biggy plank.>Toady Bo3 77>Qivin 85>EYARGG>6dmg>Kludge Armor soaks 4dmg for 2 Dur>Toady 9 - 2 = 7/12hp >Kludge Armor 7 - 2 = 5/12Dur There's a cold splitsecond when you look in each other's eyes and both realize it's over. Then you GIVVIDIM, doing a full chain of Carrionpede. Only the first three slashies are serious; for the rest you reverse your grip on Daggy n Sickky and sink their pommels into meat. You beat him near unconscious, so that he doesn't even cry when you break one of his pinkies. "I've got sum bwollz to collect inna minit. So you sit n sleepies quiet, and I won't killz yer. Nodz if yez geddit, neh? Neh."The moment he nods, you Blood Dot him, two temple, two neck, one unnada plexus. He retches, passing out, and you truss him with moar nooses: ankles together, then wrists and elbows together, then everfin to his neck. You hear galloping paws outside, and something being dragged along the ground, a papery abrasive sound. No time to hoist him on the rafters. You empty a pile of Stuff onnim instead.Then, after a quick swigg from yez [Trusty Helff Glugg], out the backdoor of the shop, hup onto the roof and prone, assuming the Night Leaper stance, and wait.>Toady 7 + 4 = 11/12hp >Kludge Armor 5/12Dur >[Helff Gluggz] 5/6>Carrionpede Hit Chance bonus +4[AMBUSHAN]>SUICIDEY>NORMAL[ROLL]>2D100Towser's attacks are Grapples: when successful he will do damage once, then continuous damage until you break free (2Defense+Act) or hurt him (1Attack with your strongest weapon + Carrionpede Damage bonus +3)
>>6095209 >>6095194 >>6095038 add note, Towser's natural armor soaks 1dmg per 2.Towser has 30HP, natural armor 20/20DurBasic Bite is 6dmg; when Grapple is in effect, Towser will thrash his head to tear the wound: this is a standard attack (1attack+1defense) + 4dmg per turn.
Rolled 25, 72 = 97 (2d100)>>6095772>NORMAL
Rolled 94, 9 = 103 (2d100)>>6095772oh god>NORMAL
Rolled 34 (1d100)because anons chose to attack Normal in Ambush, next turn Towser must choose 2Defend+Act to regain his bearings.rollan for reaction to beat 94+4
You keep low, waiting, listening to doggface snuffing up your trail.Because of your chase with the little shit your scent's everywhere going in and out the backalleys of Mart Street. When he picks up the scent of fresh blood through the smell of curing leather he heads through the sunyard, straight for the tannery shop. You should not be surprised, since a dogg's schnozz is still better than a gobb's at catching meat-scents, but you're still a little impressed: it managed to catch the whiff through the fuggy stink of this place. Just as Towser is just under the lip of the roof, you jump him: mutts don't look up when tracking and chasing; that's how cats escape, and how slikk n savvy gobbos>GEDDIMM!>GNYARR!!>17dmg!>Towser 30 - 8 = 22HP>Natural Armor 20 - 9 = 11 DurThe sound of your kickoff makes him swivel, already too late: you land in the middle of his back and sink yez blades innim, kicking away just when he starts to react, then rolling to his blind side again.[TACTICAL DECISION]>SUICIDEY>NORMAL>BIGG FINKS[ROLL]>2D100>>6096005>>609585614hrs from now, or until i get enough / good enough rolls from anons
Rolled 40, 49 = 89 (2d100)>>6096070normal again i say>NORMALQM can you roll for anon #3 if he doesnt show up? (when we need it)
>>6096082>QM halp roll for Toady?Sure.
Rolled 25, 55 = 80 (2d100)>>6096070>NORMAL
Rolled 67, 30, 76, 41 = 214 (4d100)1,2= Toady3,4= Towser
Thinking to stay cautious, you take a half second to gauge the distance, and pounce!>Toady Bo3 Attack 67+4 =71, Defense 55>Towser Defense 76, Defense 41>MISSYou don't know if the mutt heard you somehow, or smelled you coming, or if it just timed your probable next attack and dodged in the correct random direction, your weapons catch only the air.You land just where he had been, and find that he's righted himself to face you full on.>SO DOTS WHARE YOH ORR"Yehh? Fugg yez fleabaggz. Wherrz yez BossMan? Sleepen? Shidden? Dedd? [TACTICAL DECISION][MOVE]>SUICIDEY (2xAttack)>NORMAL (1Attack, 1Defence)>DEFEND + ACT (2Defense, 1Action (what?) )>ELSE[ROLL]>2D100QM reporting in 10+ hrs
Rolled 38, 66 = 104 (2d100)>>6096225>NORMAL (1Attack, 1Defence)againwhats mo ao up to btw?
>>6096317>Mo Ao where?Towser worked out that the bedsheet is a screen and ignored it to chase YOU.Mo Ao's somewhere at the beginning of Mart Street, floating into the air trying to spot where the action is.
Rolled 95, 3 = 98 (2d100)>>6096225>NORMAL (1Attack, 1Defence)check 'em
Rolled 30, 36, 78, 24 = 168 (4d100)1,2: Toady3,4: Towser
You go in! You know you've done some damage, going by the blood that's starting to pool down the mutt's leggz. He's just acting tuffy. See you tuff THIS!!>Toady Bo3 95+4 vs Towser 24>GRAHH!! >17dmg! >Towser 22 - 8 = 14HP >Natural Armor 11 - 9 = 2Dur Your blades sink in and you're sure you scrape bone, but between the iron collar and the Matty fur you're not getting in as deep as you should have. Good news though: doesn't look like he's got much fur left on his top and flanks! Gneh herr!>RROH!!>GOTT YOHH!!!Shit! Getting inna his zone means he's in your zone too! The mutt lunges, and you try to drop and twist away, but you're not fast enough!>Towser 78 Attack vs Toady Bo3 66>NGANN>Toady 11 - 2 = 9 /12hp >Kludge Armor 5 - 2 = 3 /12Dur >[Helff Gluggz] 5/6××GRAPPLED××>Struggle! Tryda break free! 2d100 Defense + Act: Escape! If your defense succeeds the grapple ends!>GIVVIDIM STILL! 1D100 attack! Dagga10dmg + Carrionpede3dmg = 13dmg!>>6096695>>6096317
Rolled 35, 27 = 62 (2d100)>>6096735>Struggle! Tryda break free! 2d100 Defense + Act: Escape! If your defense succeeds the grapple ends!
Rolled 98, 41 = 139 (2d100)>>6096735>Struggle! Tryda break free! 2d100 Defense + Act: Escape! If your defense succeeds the grapple ends!We definitely just inflicted a grievous injury on the mutt. I say we git outta dodge and let him BLEED OUT a little.
Rolled 5 (1d100)Towser 1d100 Attack!
You remember the last time dis hellmutt got a grip on you: he spun his head tryna tear a chunk off you.And he's doin it now! If you don't get free quick you're nuggets!Just as the dogmonster starts to thrash its head around, you get twisting and wriggling, throwing your momentum into the leftrightupdown thrashing!And it works!>Towser Attack 5 vs Toady Bo3 Defense 98>GNAHAA! FREEEE!!>small oof 4dmg>Toady 9 - 1 = 8 /12hp >Kludge Armor 3 - 2 = 1 /12Dur >[Helff Gluggz] 5/6 Couple biggy pieces of the Kludge Armor from your shoulder down to your belly gets torn free, leaving you with mostly just the underrigging and the wicker basket over your back. Fuggit, it's just kludge. You've still got mosty yez skin! And da mutt's about DONE>SUICIDEY>NORMAL>2D100
>>6096753>>6096741
Rolled 70, 73 = 143 (2d100)>>6096801>NORMAL
Rolled 16, 29 = 45 (2d100)>>6096801>NORMALDODGE THIS NEXT ATTACK IF YOU CAN! BUT EVEN IF I MISS YOU, THIS WHOLE PLANET'S GOING UP IN SMOOOOOKES!
Rolled 27, 27 = 54 (2d100)QMTowser
You can see it in his eyes, the indecision: run? get the boy? fight?If only BossMan was here huh. When Stumpy wuz around ye didn't need to reely fink didjer, doggface?"I'mma save yez sum trouble, dumdum! Jezt worry bout ME!!"You rush! This 'un's called Disturbenna Grass!shshshshshshshshshHis choices forcibly narrowed, Towser pounces! But your extremely low profile, almost flat on the ground, and the Carrionpede's weird wormy movement slides under and past!>Towser Attack 27>Toady Defend Bo3 73>YEZ MEZZED BICHAND YOU ARE IN!!>Toady Attack Bo3 70+4>Towser Defend 27>17dmg>Towser 14 - 15 = -1>Natural Armor 2 - 2 = 00You just finish a full chain combo, fuggen clean, when Towser's legs give out; you adjust for it so that he falls wivviz froat right onna Dagga point, and you watch his light die.If thingz had worked the way you wanted you'd have shot him wiv Stumpy's crossbow, then cutt offiz bwollz wivvim alive n watchen.But this you weigh them in hand, like two furry cojoined chicken eggs will do just FINE!!!
Rolled 1, 1, 4 = 6 (3d4)You throw off the remains of the kludge armor - it's just getting in the way now - and go back for the clever snot you left buried under a pile of Stuffs.After stowing the lot, you check the brat: still breathing, still asleep. Just to be safe, you Blood Dot him again.He dry retches. So, already awake n tricksy ehh. Looks like someone needs a liddle persyykolojjikal adjustment. "Jezt like I promizzt:" You yank his head, angling it out of the door, so's he can see the dedd mutt."I zed if yez quiet, I don't killz yez."You look into his eyes, patting his head, smoothing his hair. Grinning like a shark."Meanen also I don't killz yez; n I don't killz yez; n I [d]don't[/d] killz yez."He doesn't take long to work this out; you Blood Dot him just when his eyes widen, and you truss him proppa.Ooh he'll be beggen for va Dogg's death before Seafood's done wivvin!
"Oh. A guest."" Gneh. Gave me all kindsa shidd Sweetfudz. Shot me twice, loosed the dogg on me wivva Faya Flask, made me chase him innin out the Mart Street. Chopped me. Got me kit all half-tore before I even started on the mutt.""Mm. So you want a junior disciple."You feel Seafood's taking the pess, so you play straight n stuppud."Nar Sweetfudz. I figger jezt deffs too quick ferrim. I fort I'd brungum fer yez. Mebbe yez can drain orf orl hiz bludd while he's livin n watchen. Make it moar pain n orful loik.""I seeee. Your Shifu is your torturer and executioner, hmm. A dumping ground for offal and leftovers, hmm.""errr.. N-no? P-pleez no?""Hmhmhmm. I will want a good answer later, Tudi. Think carefully. You. Come. Here."The boy's lifted and dragged through his air, his toes trailing on the ground. This was the same thing Seafood used on you, but at that time there were lotsa blood squiggles on the ground.Either Seafood allus could do this without blood squiggles, or there's squiggles here wot yez carnt see snrff. But derr izzint any blood onna ground thoe?, or he no longer needs squiggles now. Whichever it is, you ready yourself to get punished in some gruelling way; when Seafood gives these kinds of questions he's in a mood, and it don't matter what you answer. Best butter yer skiddz n prepare yerz bugg'ole."Mm. Some intelligence; good spirit. Hmm. An Eight-Gate Affinity; powerful, if you find the right teacher. Someone who knows both Righteous and Deviant Peak-level Arts. Meat and bone a little thin, nothing a year wouldn't fix. Lad. You've seen how deadly this imbecile disciple of mine is, with just a little teaching. If you kowtow to me three times and call me Teacher, I will teach you much more. When you have attained Mastery, what will not be yours. Wealth, women, position, power. The world. Empire. Revenge," he says, glancing at you with the red pinpoints of his eyes. The boy follows his gaze into yours. In the eye that isn't swollen flows a black hate you've only seen one place else: in the gray grill-helm of the Goblin Slayer.You shrink and flinch, hearing this. Waddafugg duud... Mebbe dis weren't the best idea at all..."How about it.""... ... yes. Teacher."The moment Seafood lets him off the phantom grip, the boy goes on both palms and both knees, bowing his forehead to the ground in front of Seafood. You feel sicker each time his head knocks the floor.On the third knock, before he can list his head again, Seafood in his little girl body places a hand on the back of his neck."I acknowledge your request." When he lifts his hand there's a black squirming fing on the boy's neck. "But the Wind Incarnadine doesn't accept Disciples."As the boy jerks up, surprised by the horrible new sEnSaTiOnZ, Seafood rams one more weirdseed inniz mouf, neck hollow, under navel."Shiieedd."
Rolled 2, 1 = 3 (2d2)In the same motion, Seafood scratches the boy quickly on his body, then palms his face. The boy twitches on his knees, arms stiffened, fingers splayed."Twenty days westly, walking by night or through the forest, following the main town road, you will find a place the sun doesn't touch and no wind moves. There will be a broken cabin in that place; you will know. Kowtow in the darkness of that place and grow: tall supporting heaven, wide embracing earth; long living, all hearing, unfearing of iron and fire. Go."As the boy shambles off the weird shiddz already growwen, eeuch you hurry to get a biggy rag or quilt armor to throw over him."Forget it. Wind and rain can beat, but, as though a drunkard, he will not feel it.""Nerr. But peepl'll see, Sweetfuds. Theyz followem n stoppem. Dat be bad for uzz, wunnit?""Hmhm. Worry about your answer instead, my presumptuous Tudi. Those who follow him will join him!"[BALANCE SHEET] >§821.5 + 6>=§827.5>84 Dedder Dusts>5 Dimm Cult >Toady 8/12HP >Kludge Armor 1/12Dur >[Helff Swigga] 5/6 gluggz [MAIN OBJECTIVE] >Yang Wuhan still needs 47LM - 2d2 from Stumpy and Towser>22 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 63LM - 2d2>Derreschston Sus penalty -10 - 6(/15) from Sordyfagg Missing - 6(/18) From Towser and Stumpy Missing[2C1R] [CHOICE 1] >SERCH >Cherch (Ш) (familiarity bonus +15) (mostly sacked apart from kitchen, maybe one or two upstairs roomz...) (if you sack the kitchen it WILL be noticed by breakfast) >Cherch (Ͳ) (familiarity bonus +15 +10) >Pit (familiarity bonus +10) >Mass Grave >Mart Street >Mayorate Court Courthouse (Familiarity bonus +15) >Mayorate Court Residence + Stables >Skirts >BLOOD GETTY >by chokey choke? (GARROTE) >by slashy slash? (DAGGA) >[From whence? Write-in] >CORPSE DUST GETTY >Pit (Dedder Dust collection bonus +40) >KLUDGE / STABBUTTAGG >[What? Write-in] >STALK >TownBoss >Pit WatchBoss >TRAINAN (Costs §2.5/day) (Carrionpede Form is currently at +4(/4) Hit Chance and +3(/4) Damage) (Gui Li imposes -1 to gains in Form per gain at this time; min gain is +1) (Improvement for TRAINAN is now Total of 3>150, OR Bo3 65) [CHOICE 2] >Day/Night? [ROLL] >1D100
°°°"I haven't forgotten you Tudi. How ungrateful of you, to ask your Shifu so frail and old in this Pall Body, to do your torturing and killing for you. Will you next have me wash your bugghole for you.""N-no, Sweetfudz. Cuzz I nivvir wash me bugg'ole."Seafood tries, but even he carnt do nuffin wiv this fatt accomplice.At last, he gives up."Tudi," he whispers simply. "Come. Here.">Arhh shidd. Here we go aginn.°°°[MAIN OBJECTIVE] >Yang Wuhan still needs 47LM - 3 from Stumpy and Towser >=44LM>22 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 63LM - 3>=60LM>Derreschston Sus penalty -10 - 6(/15) from Sordyfagg Missing - 6(/18) From Towser and Stumpy Missing >>6096806>>6096810>>609631736hrs
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>6096915>KLUDGEwe should be able to upgrade our armor with what we looted from the armorygoing out again in our current condition would be risky>Nightshould we send the dimm cult out again?
>>6096926I'll support this, but I want to make a quick pit stop to toss Towser and Stumpy's bodies into an empty house and put a pot of way too much oil on the stove, and a sack of random meats n veggies in the pot. Then light the stove up and leave.It'll cause a very convincing housefire that'll consume the bodies and will, upon investigation, seem to be caused by overly capricious food frying.Dimm Cult can spread 30 dedder dust by day at the uhh, places they're keeping their livestock. Mix it into the animal feed. People used to grind up all sorts of shit to feed to livestock during times of hardship.Feed it to the animals and once they get slaughtered and eaten it'll transmit to the people. Also animals could use some good maluses because they've got inconveniently good senses against mo ao.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>6096938Forgot me roll
>>6096923>>6096938 +1
>>6096938>It'll cause a very convincing housefire that'll consume the bodieswe already took the bodies with us>Dimm Cult can spread 30 dedder dust by day at the uhh, places they're keeping their livestockQM said before that something like this will probably not yield the desired results without us babysitting them>>6097170try rolling a 100 anon #3 we believe in you!
>>6097259Yes. Plant the bodies and set up a believable scene for why the two are now gone and dead. Should reduce sus.
>Bo3 General>95>Dimmies go autofarm moar dust>bc yer too dumm to do real skull diggery>KLUDGE >Wanna+needa new kit>Make it wiv Armory Stuffs>ALSO>TAMPER EVIDENCE>Crime Seems Invalidashumz, gnehh heh hehhNormally wouldn't allow two actions, but since TAMPER EVIDENCE is fairly minor, will spread it over two or moar days.Corpsedusting the Town through its livestock and foodstock will take a Day; maybe vote again for tomorrow, since anons should agree making new Kludge Armor takes priority.Will get to writan in a couple hours, since I have three droogz who checked in (yay!) and it's not a vital narrative or tactical decision.
>>6097389i hope this quest never dies :)
>>6097410wiv YOU ro/qst/arz innere feeding the dumpster fire, it probably won't
After a few hours hanging from a branch by yez nose hairs, Seafood gets bored and lets you go. You scarper out of his immediate reach, nursing your widened schnozz'oles.>Dat went bedder den expegtid°°°You look at yer oldy kludge armor made of short planking n two wickerwork baskets and feel really glad it wuzzint YOU wot got chewed on.Between the brainy liddle shit and the muttmonster, you might be dead more than twice over if not for the spiffygood kludgeware you had on.If the kidd n mutt got any luckyyer, or teamed up somehow, things would have gotten real dicey for YOU.Good fing you fixxd Stumpy first, hheh. That was the only correct decision.Imagine getting grappled by Doggface while Stumpy's slotten arrows in yer from a window. Then imagine that while you wuz busy geddun chewed n shott, the liddle shit runnen orf to get the TownBoss.>beugh.>fugg DATT.Welp! Probblim's solved anyway! Yerz and theyrz! kekekekekekek!While patching yerself and doin yer Ceremony, you daydream what and what-with you're finna make.It will be tuffyyer dan yer old one, being made of meddl. A little more weight, but lots less bulky than wood, so it will move around the same. And having proppa screws n fastnuts is heaps better than just string n chikky wire, so it'll eat a few whacks without falling to pieces. Or so many pieces.Having the Dagga is a big help: just rest it on summink a few seconds wiv yer hand on it, and it starts to eat through thin mundane metals, at a rate of ~1mm per 3 seconds. Faster than sawing and drilling.For a base you start by resizing some quilt armor material: halve it into a shirt n skirt, then take orf the sleeves from the shirt, leaving a vest.With a tenting needle and a thinny cord you get to sewing ringmail and hardened leather patches on. It's dismaying how easily you can pick the ringmail apart; a goody crossbolt or semi-serious pointy will get through these, no question. At least it might slow some slashies...For the breastplate you got a Humie shoulderplate fixed over a cast iron frying pan with no handle; for a belly and lower back you get two greaves beaten flat, then strapped to each other making a kindy corset; for the backplate, you run part of the chestplate rigging and part of the corset rigging through the straphoops onna goody-ish buckler 's too shiny n light; tinny eluminuminum and wood batter. At least the punchboss is bronze....Rusted trowelheads for shoulderplates, leather kneeguard wiv ringz n plates sewn on ferra helmet, and one of the quilt sleeves cut up into tuckeroos n chappies.>Verre!>Ain datta Beaut!>§827.5 - 3 Self Patch - 20 for Quality Kludge Armor>=§804.5[Quality Kludge Armor][Common][Trash][Goblin, Gnoll, Kobold and Vermen Only]>15/15Dur>Soaks 3dmg per Dur>Loses 1Dur per 3dmg soaked, rounded DOWN>Lets in 1dmg per 3dmg soaked
>>6097623QM receipts for Qivin the Gonad before the start of the fight with Stumpy.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>Bo3 95 + 30 Night Bonus (permitted) - 22 Sus penalty - 10 Dumb penalty>vs Derrechston
Rolled 3, 1, 4, 4, 4 = 16 (5d6)>Dimmies 93 vs Townies 54>Not Detected>rollan Dust gained
Rolled 17, 1, 19, 15, 18, 6, 9, 17 = 102 (8d20)As the sun sinks you start preppen a few fings.You're tired from all dat kludgeworking because if the refits, but not so tired you carnt fit in a bitty arson.While you kludged by day you've gotten the Dimmies to collect dry leaves and grass from the open fields, which they turn in before you send them off to get more dedderz to make into Dust.With the dry stuff prepped you start sorting out flammables. You're running low on sheeping tar, and burning booz seems a kindy waste...You're prepared to sacrifice a halfbottle of Toebend's Delectable to start a biggy blaze, but you'll need ovva stuffs that won't be found out or won't look weird if they were.>ahh fuggit>I'll make sumn up when I get derr.°°°Stumpy's house is the same as you left it: kindy a shambles. You put the toppled chairs and things upright again, put new cushions from other places on the empty couch.You're going to burn this place unrecognizable anyway, so you think to loot all you can before then. After leaving some props behind of course. Like the crossbow the boy abandoned under the bed, and the biggy machete wot you carnt use anyway. You start from the cellar: quite biggy n deeply, plenty stuffs: charcoal loggz, pig fats and oil in sealed clay jarz, dry grains in biggy sealed clay waterpots; lots rope, a workbench with drawrerz of Humie medicine and meat-toolz, and a biggy tool chest wiv common metal and woodwork toolz. Ahh! Two biggy tins of sheeping tar! And booz bottlz of thinna n turpemtime! Naaaizz.You take most of it, leaving one or two jarz of rancid pig fats, and a few empty bottles. Then you heap the place with all the dry wood the Dimmies collected for you.Next level up, kitchen and liven room. Quite meh stuff apart from the foodz n cooky cutlery n stuffs. You take everything, leaving a few shoddier equivalents from the Pouch in their place, just enough that it doesn't feel sacked. Something nice from the kitchen: four biggy juggy bottles with herby bits n berries stewing in clear wood-booz. These are too good to burn; you need every advantage dealing with Seafood.Stumpy's war-tools are on the second floor. You take and replace everything you can with the crappy stuff you found in the Cherch armory. His hunting knives are really sumn. If there was a mobb looting with you there'd be a stabbing over them. From the little shit's room...meh. Trash. Leave everfin...oh henlo...It's an old horseshoe beaten into a slingshott. A smally hole's intentionally left in the leather-wrapped handle to make a pinkie-ring. Three thicky short bowstrings have been left untied in the nailholes on one side; he only strings them when he needz to shoot, so's they keep elastic.The boy had left this after spilling all the lead shotts to tripp you. Hehh.>[Huntn Noif] GETTY>Slash as gudd as the Sicky!>4dmg>But yez can pokey wivvit too!>[Slingyeety] GETTY>Get attention or distract with this!>QM rollan Lewtz!
There's several small bales 3/4' x 1/2' ea. of quite good baccy in Stumpy's room; Sordyfagg smoked this mixed with sumn cheaper. All of it is yours now.Then onto the roof. Here you heap up the leaves the Dimmies collected, then go back down again.You picture the story you want busybodies to see: a sleepy Stumpy by his fire, burning baccy into his pipe; he's drunk sum KAMKHATKA XKØLL, spillz sum. The fire from his baccy ash catches it. Then it catches...err... a carpet. You soak the carpet in Delectable. And the carpet catches... the tablez n chairs n... some rags (here! plenty ragz)! And the rags starts eating up the wood floor (moar wood! n coal dust)! And they reach... the curtains? Budd he haz no curtain? Ahh! Bedsheets! You getty them from the second floor, tack them up over the windows, and a splashy splash thinner! Yes!Stumpy's body can't be used; you've cut it in half. You take out a spare dedder you got, choppy off the leg, and leave a piecy wood in its place, to fake his pegleg.Roit! Yez finks dats everfin.So you startz it!Basement first, because there's coal dust; you just heap lotsy wood from the pile outside the house, bitty pork fat to get it going, cellar door open to let the air circulate. Fires burn up; you hurry up the wood stairs out of the cellar, the fire lapping up the oiled straw you left strewn behind you.As the floorboard start to heat up you take a candle to everything in the living room, smashing two lamps into the ground to speed things up just before you bugger off out the back door.Yup: no saving it now. You go half round the house, and close the cellar door. Like you wuz nevr eer.By the time people see the flames and start fetching buckets the house is a torch.The fire itself might be suspicious, but no one will be wondering about Stumpy's disappearance after this. [BALANCE SHEET] >§804.5 + 102 + 1 = §907.5>84 + 16 = 100 Dedder Dusts >5 Dimm Cult >Toady 11/12HP >Quality Kludge Armor 15/15Dur >[Helff Swigga] 5/6 gluggz [MAIN OBJECTIVE] >Yang Wuhan still needs 47LM - 2d2 from Stumpy and Towser >22 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 63LM - 2d2 >Derreschston Sus penalty -10 - 6(/15) from Sordyfagg Missing - 6(/18) From Towser and Stumpy Missing [2C1R] [CHOICE 1] >SERCH >Cherch (Ш) (familiarity bonus +15) (mostly sacked apart from kitchen, maybe one or two upstairs roomz...) (if you sack the kitchen it WILL be noticed by breakfast) >Cherch (Ͳ) (familiarity bonus +15 +10) >Pit (familiarity bonus +10) >Mass Grave >Mart Street >Mayorate Court Courthouse (Familiarity bonus +15) >Mayorate Court Residence + Stables >Skirts >BLOOD GETTY >by chokey choke? (GARROTE) >by slashy slash? (DAGGA) >[From whence? Write-in] >CORPSE DUST GETTY >Pit (Dedder Dust collection bonus +40) >KLUDGE / STABBUTTAGG >[What? Write-in] >STALK >TownBoss >Pit WatchBoss >TRAINAN (Costs §2.5/day)(Carrionpede currently +4(/4) To Hit & +3(/4) Dmg) CONT
Rolled 3, 9 + 5 = 17 (2d10 + 5)[Y/N]>Try to fake Sordyfagg's death Y/N? Cost 2d10+5 Stuffs>Loot+ruin Stumpy's Tannery Y/N? Cost 4 SUS[CHOICE 2] >Day/Night? [ROLL] >1D100>Yang Wuhan still needs 44LM >21 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 60LM >Derreschston SUS penalty -10 - 9(/15) from Sordyfagg Missing - 8 From Towser and Stumpy Presumed Cooked36 hrs>>6097337>>6097259>>6097170
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>6097804>Mayorate Court Residence + Stablesi thought about using our dedder dust in this area (and the courthouse)>Try to fake Sordyfagg's death Y/N? Cost 2d10+5 StuffsY we can certainly try>Loot+ruin Stumpy's Tannery Y/N? Cost 4 SUSN i dont like being sus>Night
>>6097847we probably cant do a second thing i just realizedscratch that thenwe cant waste a day faking a death
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>6097804>BLOOD GETTY>by chokey choke? (GARROTE)>BLOOD GETTY>by chokey choke? (GARROTE)>Night
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>6097836>No to bothWe already made it look like sordyfagg decided to leave. Made all the right choices of looting for it, we did. Be strange if he came back just to die.>Mayorate Court Residence + Stables>By nightWanna spike the animal feed with dedder dust. As previously discussed.Just doing it personally instead of using the dimm, I guess.>Send DIMM CULT to hunt wild animals out inna woods by day. They can bring anything they get back to seafood to keep him occupied and happy. Also so you can have a proppa meal later.
>>6098275yeah lets see what the dimmies can donext time we can go killing again (i think)
~A Brightborn Apology in support of promoting Rare Sexualities through the Examination of Pure Hyperheterosexuality manifested in Gobliny~Siding popular consensus has never been the hallmark of those on the right side of history or intellectual honesty. 1The notion of hyperheterosexuality as the "correct" sexuality merely on the basis of propagative necessity is puerile. Rare sexualities are of a course superior to the common sexualities, as a gold pleasure lace2 is superior to the spur-copper or oxbeak ore from which it is ultimately drawn.That Rare Sexuality is not original, or, non-existent in the natural state, is no reason for its suppression or denial of promotion. Rather it must be actively pursued and cultivated precisely for its rarity and difficulty.Rather, if the normal majority must be correct, and hyperheterosexuality the normal majority, then why do all Darkborn 3 not uphold the humble Goblin as a model of sensual and sexual correctness? Unless it is some unspoken Darkborn qinq to nurse untenable hypocrisies? Of course it is so; it is all ~{they}~ do.Going by Adventurer accounts, the Monstrous Races, especially Goblins, and the Orcs and Trolls to a next-less extent, seem to manifest the fewest incidences of Rare Sexuality when compared to most other sentient races, even the culturally stunted Squatborn Dwarves.Goblins, by their nature, are only male, relying on the sexual predation of the females of other species to propagate. Goblins in captivity presented with a sexually prepared trumale homosexual top-exclusive express no sexual interest and, depending on the number of Goblins present, either fear or hostility.When presented with equally sexually valid numales twinxtrapxubx the Goblins evince initial interest, followed by outrage and a greater willingness to pursue violence belying their numbers.Thus, in sexual practice if not in sexual psychology it is next to impossible to investigate this, as the discussion of anything sexual with these creatures quickly devolves into a glee of insult and innuendo from the Goblin, the Goblin is hyperheterosexuality manifested in its purest form: heterosexual demogyny without queeriosity or qucq-aversion.1: Neither has the siding of unpopular notions, an observation that often escapes remark. -Editor2: An Elvish invention without analog in any other culture; an elaborate, constrictive and extremely revealing formalwear worn for aesthetic humiliation through urethral stimulation. Further explanation is not adequate without involving a host of rich and complex Elvish cultural concepts.-Translator3: i.e. those ignorant or in disagreement with Brightborn thought.-Editor
CONTThe typical Goblin verbal response when presented with a opportunity to explore their Rare Sexuality, or with any opinion or action deemed "weak", is to use slurs in Common, the most usual and unthinking being "faggit," "hoemoegae," and with Brightborn m->f martial transvestitism in particular, "gae-shamurai" and "moanen roenen."Who else shares this violent impulse of homomisia? Hyperheteros! And with the same results, history reflecting fact!By refusing to entertain Rare Sexuality even conceptually, the Goblins have rejected imagination and invention, and thus have not progressed beyond stoneworking in terms of technology 1 and cave painting in terms of language, art and culture 2. Likewise, what significant intentions have hyperheteros made except in pursuit of war or homomisic gaynocide? The great minds of all races were Rare Sexed either openly or in secret; this is beyond all serious dispute 3.If a Hyperhetero of a sentient race will not change what they are pleased to call their mind, they are then lower than Goblins, who are incapable of changing their nature 4.To embrace change, to choose change, to change oneself, one's Nature, even or especially by force, is the only way to advance culture, yielding only advantage: when the Fourth Eye is opened, the Third is opened; One's Temple gains Light as one's fundament is fullfilled.To refuse the choice, to even reject it, is the weak futile deathcry of the heteronormative on the wrong side of history, Goblins in but name and shape.>Jjaq Çhiq >Written from ll Seltue Alalme The Sweaty Elms1: The Dwarven Initiative Concerning Slandery desires that it be put to record that it takes strong exception to such remarks.2:The Barbarian Illiterati of Touchstone Moot has delivered a brace of bloodied implements to the Apology publisher's personal quarters at speed when the Apology was read to them and explained.3: Disputed seriously.- Editor4: Rare Sex Apologists are famously dubious when questions involving Intelligent Will and Nature arise.
{Shitpost Saturday Complete}Proper Questposting continues.Will >DINGwhen done=D
>>6099068edit:>Jjelq ÇhiqYes
Rolled 80 (1d100)>Bo3 General 85 - 27 SUS penalty total + 30 Night Bonus>=88>SERCH Mayorate Court Residence + Stables >ALSO Dedder Dust this location>QMrollan for Derechston Mayorate Residence>INDEPENDENT ACTION>Send DIMM CULT to hunt wild animals out inna woods by day. They can bring anything they get back to seafood to keep him occupied and happy. Also so you can have a proppa meal later.
Rolled 12 (1d100)Before you leave for your night outing you have the Dimmies digg a biggy hole for you, about as wide as you are tall and over twice as deep as you are tall.When done you start planting stakes at the bottom, about twenty, and over the top of the hole, about your chin height, you hang a fruit, a prunn or appl or sumn, dangling on a cord from a tree.Then you cover the deeply pokey hole with thinny leafy branches. When this is done you tell them"See dis? Everywhere I hang a fruit onna string, you make a biggy spikey hole for me and cover it. Then you go away. When the sun comes up you go visit each hole and peeky. If derrz anerfin wiv meats onna, make sure itz dedd n bring it up to me."They don't acknowledge, just slouch off to do your bidding. You hang like ten-ish fruits a hundred paces from each other.Just diggy hole and planty spikes. The Dimmies carnt possibly mess dat up, rait?>85 Gen roll, no penalty no advantage>QM rollan for Natural Selection
You're hitting the TownBoss' place tonight. Not the bigg house, you've already mapped that one; the littler one, wiv common folk inna, and the stables.The watchchumps are bitty skitterish tonight; two lanterns lit on each side, and two spares each side at their feet, with a bottle of lamp oil.Both sides of the stockade now have a smally bell stand too; last time there was only one, you think. Sordyfagg going missing, then Stumpy dying in a fire must be eating up their nerves, hhehYou spot where you got in the last time: a stockade log dislodged at the bottom pointy end. It's been fixed: the loose log has been hammered deeper, and there's a biggy fat log behind it, bracing it closed.>Townies rolled 80>Toady total 88Not a problem.You sneek across the spikey moat like last time, then up to the stockade wall. From the smell you can guess which bit of the wall the guards manning the front of the stockade usually pee off of: a bit after the corner, where the tops of the logs dip and the lamplight doesnt quite reach. When one chump pees the others look away. You'll use that.You cross the moat of spikes, jam in a shiv at headheight between the logs for a foothold, then squat tight with a grassy mat over you.You chew Stumpy's baccy toffee wiv Liddle Shitt's slangshott ready, n juzt wait. It doesn't take long, with the amount of strong tea they're swigging."Hey. Gonna pee.""Kay. Go."When you hear that, you scuttle quick around the corner to the front of the stockade, nock a lead ball in the slangshott and ready aim.When you see the watchchump's todger come out over your side, you count two beats and loose.The lead ball smacks the tall rickety pole they hang their lanterns on, and the one closer to the peeing watchchumps topples. The stream of pee shudders (lal) at the crash. You take that moment to duck back around the corner to the pee-stained wall, so's they see nothing when they try to look under the smacked lantern.While the pisser hastily finishes and tries to light the fallen lamp with its unfallen partner, all the other watchchumps scan and peer intently into the darkness, trying to spot movement. You use your foothold shiv to hup up the piss wall quickly and just dropp into the darkness behind the struggling watchchumps's back. No alarm. You Carrionpede along under the shadow of the stockade platforms quickly, darting into the par-dark of the front guardpost. You remember there's a tunnel innere.The lamp's lit again."All good! All good!" says the watchchumps. You feel the four of them relax. It was nuffin after all. Just the wind. We need a less bendy lamp-pole, is all.Nuffin ever happens."Until sumfin does, kek."The trapdoor over the tunnel is not locked. You grease the hinges with quench oil, lever it up slightly with a shovel for a lever, listen: you don't hear movement or nuffin. You're in.
Rolled 8, 5 = 13 (2d10)The tunnel's easy for you; might be a bit low for Humies. Judging by how they went in and out only from the tunnels, you guess that at least the maindoor and backdoor of this place is boarded up solid. Yup: nicely made woody doors now with wood beams hammered to brace against the floor. The windows are all boarded up too, from the outside and inside. There's fewer weapons lying around than in the courthouse, and more food.Furniture and carpets pushed to the walls, ready to block off either the main door or the windows.You work out the main footways of this place and, after swagging some lewts of opportunity, start spreading DedderDust everywhere: the middle of the main room, the stairs to the second floor, the stairs to the cellar with the two tunnels leading outYou want to poison their fuddz if you could, but the gray dust has a look and smell that shows up against most things.In the end you swirl some into their flour and mix it so it just looks bitty gritty; some in the clay pot holding the teapowder; bit inna ground peppah; lotz inna black pippy stuff lentils; and in every crockware oil jar and water jug.Then you lightly Dust the kitchen for good measure. Everone who lives here gon be fugged up, and everone who comes to take care of them be fugged up too.You take the other tunnel out, the one leading to the rear guardpost. You're doing the Stables next.°°°The horses shy when they smell you, retreating into their stalls with their ears flattened. Two mares and a geld; judging by the furniture hung up near the entrance, the mares are for a carriage, the geld is for a rider.You do this place quickly, not wanting the horses to panic and start making a racket.Dusting the floor and the horses won't do; the horseshit gets shoveled out regular, looking at how clean the stalls are. After a bitty fink you get up a post and start Dusting the crossbeams. You do it thicky, knowing no one ever cleans here. When you're done you go out and do the interior of the horse carriage in front of the stable, especially under the cushions, so's they puff Dust when sat on.Your mischief done, you Carrionpede cover to cover back to the rear guardpost. From there you wait until both watchchumps are turned outward, then scuttle under the drawbridge arch. The Courthouse blocks the view of the watchchumps in front, and the watchchumps here can't see under their own feet.Using their footsteps and the creaking wood to mask your own movements, you crawl up the closed drawbridge and through the gap at the top. Then you fire off another lead ball, this time into the compound, smacking the roof of the Courthouse.As the four dumdums swivel inwards, you drop and scamper to the outer corner of the stockade, where the moat's shallower.A little creeping after that, out of the range of the lamplights, and you're gold.>residents and watchmen at Mayorate compound -25 General Penalty>horses -25 gen. pen.>Bal Dust = 00
>>6099178Mayorate Residence Common Areas = 2 units SpaceKitchen = 1 unit of SpaceStables = 1 unit of Space100 DustSpace' worth causes -25 GenPen in 4 units of Space.Mayor suffers only -5 GenPen, as he does not go into the Residence or Stables. When he does, he will suffer -25 like the others.
When you get back it's past moon-drop.You go check on the Dimmies progress. Not bad at all. You just add a few pokeys at the bottom of the pits, adjust the leafy coverings, and itz gudd. You mark out a few other spots for them to do before sun-up. You have a gudd feeling about your pit traps. Who knows. You might even kill a Man.>Dimm Cult Bo3 85 Gen vs Wildlife 12>7 degrees of success>You will get 1LM free per day for 7 days[BALANCE SHEET] >§907.5 + 13>= §920.5>00 Dedder Dusts >5 Dimm Cult >Toady 12/12HP >Quality Kludge Armor 15/15Dur >[Helff Swigga] 5/6 gluggz [MAIN OBJECTIVE] >Yang Wuhan still needs 44LM >20 days remaining >Derreschston pop. 60LM >Derreschston SUS penalty -10 - 12(/15) from Sordyfagg Missing - 8 From Towser & Stumpy Dedd[2C1R] [CHOICE 1] >SERCH >Cherch (Ш) (familiarity bonus +15) (mostly sacked apart from kitchen, maybe one or two upstairs roomz...) (if you sack the kitchen it WILL be noticed by breakfast) >Cherch (Ͳ) (familiarity bonus +15 +10) >Pit (familiarity bonus +10) >Mass Grave >Mart Street >Mayorate Court Courthouse (Familiarity bonus +15) >Mayorate Court Residence + Stables (Familiarity bonus +10) (DUSTED: YOU will suffer -10 GenPen for two days if you visit here again)>Skirts >BLOOD GETTY >by chokey choke? (GARROTE) >by slashy slash? (DAGGA) >[From whence? Write-in] >CORPSE DUST GETTY >Pit (Dedder Dust collection bonus +40) >MOAR DIMMIES MAKEY (same as GARROTE)>KLUDGE / STABBUTTAGG >[What? Write-in] >STALK >TownBoss >Pit WatchBoss >TRAINAN (Costs §2.5/day)(Carrionpede currently +4(/4) To Hit & +3(/4) Dmg) [CHOICE 2] >Day/Night? [ROLL] >1D100 >Yang Wuhan still needs 44LM >21 days remaining >gain 1LM/day for the next 7 days>Derreschston pop. 60LM >Derreschston SUS penalty -10 - 9(/15) from Sordyfagg Missing - 8 From Towser and Stumpy Presumed Cooked 36 hrs >>6098275>>6097961>>6097847Dear droogz, you have successfully looted and hobbled most of Derrechston. Unless you wish to explore more there is more, I extend you the offer of rollan multiple Days of BLOOD GETTY until you have diminished Derechston's Pop. to <45, and max out total SUS penalty at -40.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>6099071i lol'd>>6099187>You will get 1LM free per day for 7 daysbetter than i had hoped for wow>BLOOD GETTY by chokey choke>Main>Nightwanted to start doing that anyway nowi propose we go kill TownBoss next night
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>6099187>>6099218 +1
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>6099187>TRAINAN (Costs §2.5/day)(Carrionpede currently +4(/4) To Hit & +3(/4) Dmg) >By day.>Dimms keep hunting.Gonna wanna spend a few days recovering after we directly handled dedder dust, lads.By which I mean spending time soaking our balls in the sun as god intended.
>>6099550we didnt get that debuff yet as i understood it
>>6099550Toady suffers no (significant) Dust contamination at this time.If you go back to any DUSTED place to carry out a prolonged action like Search or Stalk, you will suffer the Dust Penalty.
Abnormal. Definitely abnormal. This is the seventeenth corpse he had told the fortune of. Counting backwards from the day and time and manner of death all those that Tudi brought him were Violent Deaths; counting with a constant was much easier., and guessing from the conditions of their bodies, what was left of their palms and faces, Yang Wuhan was able to ascertain an approximate horoscope. From these tangendental points of single interstice, and using the date of his and the goblin's meeting as a Greatly Fortuitous Crossing of Paths, he triangulated to find his Tudi's Heavenly Stem and Earthly Stem, and from those derive the goblin's BaZi, Eight Characters.He found out that the Goblin was born before spring three years ago, 8th day 11th month 2geng 1dian past night (10pm).Reading Tudi's fortune was... diverting, but not the goal.For with one complete reading of BaZi, he was able to begin a conversion of this world's calender to one that corresponds accurately with the Ten Heavenly Stems and Twelve Earthly Stems, and from there, match the Heavenly Courts constellations of this world to the ZiWei, Purple Star astrological tellings. With these two foundational systems deduced to a workable state, though not accurate enough to be relied upon, he began building upwards to more esoteric methods, capable of charting fortunes after death, or of those whose lives did not end with death: Tudi's gray helpers, the Dimm Cult.Tudi, as a Goblin, was born under a Governing Power: Chaos. This overruled some aspects of his BaZi and ZiWei while quickening others. Some Cultivators used such knowledge to seek patrons who have Attained, so-termed Sages and Immortals, or Demons and Gods. Yang Wuhan did the same, and was mildly surprised that he was merely Extremely Favorable as Tudi's patron. The true ideal patron seemed to dwell in Chaos, or rather, was Chaos, to be understood as both Principle and Person.Truly unheard of. Divinity is inborn, Immortality attained. But what is both a Personal Person yet an Impersonal Principle?Then he charted more tellings, cursorily, for the commoners who were of the Dimm Cult, the dead commoners in the mass grave who were branded-staked-beheaded, and those not; and the troublesome characters Tudi encountered in Plague Town.The troublesome ones, and those from the mass grave that were branded and staked, mostly had Light, Order, Truth, Abundance as their ideal Patrons.Those that had been afflicted and Rerisen by the Plague, though they were also all commoners, fell under Chaos, like Tudi.Mo Ao and the Dimm Cult all fell under Darkness.There were other Patron Powers unrepresented: Law, Illusion, Knowledge and Destiny.And he, Yang Wuhan, fell under none of them.Does this mean that I alone in this world am truly free. Or that One's Existence is beyond these ten Overuling Cardinals to contain or predict.
In an inspired moment he assumed that all those that fell under a Patron Power were Continuing One Path with IT, and discovered to his simmering delight that the Patron Powers had BaZi and ZiWei too!Granted it was impossible to tell exactly their fortunes and futures, not having his present charts in this world or his native world converted to match the Heavens THEY were under, but the fact that there was a recession to a Beginning and a declensions to an End, strongly suggested that they were not Eternal Principles, though in this world they ruled above Gods.Peculiar peculiar peculiar.And there were two other factors that interfered with his calculations: a Wind called Chance and a Wave called Fate. It was these that had caused Mo Ao and the Dimm Cult, whichever Patron Power was favorable to them at birth, to be converted instead to Darkness.And between the Ten Patron Powers and the Wind and Wave of Chance and Fate, there was something else. It also ruled this world with the Ten Patron Powers, as an Eleventh but ... at an elevation, and more completely, yet more distant in its involvement, Patron to no one.The true God. The true Power.Patron to none?No.It was a Patron. But to a very extremely few. These were not elevated to great height, nor did they attain significance in the course of this world. But they were invulnerable, even if they could be hurt; ever-victorious, even if presently defeated. These and these alone of this whole world, though native to it, were unruled by the Wind and Wave of Chance and Fate.Even were they Immortal Sages it should be a difficult matter to escape Chance and Fate completely; as Mundanes who have not broken free of Causal Existence, it should be impossible. Yet in this world, such exist!It was natural that such persons were extremely few and of apparent insignificance, else the other Patrons would be thrown to uproar, and this whole world and all in it end in an hour.Even so, the existence and proximity of just one of such persons The GoblinSlayer, the Favorites of the Eleventh, had distorted probabilities and possibilities enough for him, Yang Wuhan, to enter this world in his flight between realities. Not only that, but to immediately encounter a Goblin with a Pinnacle Martial Body who also just came into possession of a Thousand Year Lingzi, just in time and just in place to save his life.When he had come again to strength he intended to find these Favorites of the Eleventh, and from them derive access and opportunity to IT.Yang Wuhan, Devil of Heaven, had only contempt for so-termed Gods. Had he not defeated and defiled enough of them in his career?But that discrete yet supreme, sublime yet creatural Eleventh!That was an existence truly WORTH the killing!~~Fillerpost End~~tldr, hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife Kumo Kagyu
>>6099868>>6099858Itz mee, ladz. Updating in 14hrs.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>BLOOD GETTY CHOKEYCHOKE = +50% LM gained>Main at Night = 4d6 LM>With 3 Dimm Cult assisting = Degrees of Success enabled>Current SUS -27>Night Bonus +30>Net +3 >Bo3 Gen 89 + 3 = 92>vs QMrollan Derreschston
Rolled 5, 6, 1, 6 + 6 = 24 (4d6 + 6)Rollan new victims+6 degrees of success
Gains: 24 x 150% = 36LM gained for Yang WuhanDerreschston pop is now 60 - 24 = 36per >>6077616 , you now gain -15 SUS penalty for being pop. <60, and -15 SUS again for being pop. <45> -27 current SUS > - 15 - 15 SUS from overall population dip> - 24 SUS people newly ded>= - 71BUT only - 40 SUS will be effected in Derreschston.
>>6100449thats a lotta LM :O
>>6100455You're goin' noosen tonight, wiv the Man Dimmy and the Fat Woman Dimmy as your grinnen gray helpers: you sneeki in, let them innada house, they weigh down the victim, while you supply the coup de -ACK. Quicky n sister-manic.You choose the Mains to do, since it has the most Humies at night after the Pit, and you see how your depredations has affected it: the increasing vacancy and growing quiet of the Skirts has prompted its survivors to move into the town center to squat for safety.These take up the poorer empty houses on Main where some of the unrulier workmen from the Church and the Pit have been squatting comfortably.With a bitty chalk you sneek from house to house, marking out those with few people, sleeping separately.When you're done with the whole Mains you start from the end first, so's fewest people hear if you or your Dimmies fumble the kill and cause a ruckus.But you don't: you get in through smashed windows, grease the doors, and let in your helpers. Then, room by room, starting with the one closest the exit so's you can gibb anyone further un wot wakes up n tries to run, you do them in.When you've choked them out, fainted, you just roll them innada Pouch and let it kill them proppa, saving you work.Even with this, you are so successful you have to have a short snakk n napp in summun's warmy bed you tell your Dimmies to face the wall first, va creepy fuggs before continuing.By moon-drop you've cleared all the houses that are safe to do. The rest is couples, or else peepl cluttered all in the same room. Too risky: you might end up having to fight them all, or chase them through Plague Town while they're screamen n carreyen on. If even one of them got away, there'll be a description: a hemsem killa-killa Gobbo and two gray grinnen mutes. You're not up for that.You guess that xxPANICxx will set in past breakfast, and whoever's still living will huddle for defense in the TownBoss House Mayorate Court and the Cherch Ͳ block, since it's enclosed on all sides.The work at the Pit will probably stop, and whatever is in Ш will be emptied out and distributed between the BossHouse and Ͳ.They'll find the Ш armory empty then, kek, and they'll be hurrying to kludge some kindy weapons quicky. Of course they'll use the stabbuttaged forge in the Ш armory, KEK, and that will take out another handful, probably the ones who are good at kludging metal.And venn! And venn...They'll be sending summun to get halps. The only good horses you've seen were at the BossHouse stables; probably the geld.You'd better get back to camp quickly and borrow Moar Oww from Seafood: you'll need to chase the rider, and having the menacing bedsheet on hand to stall the horse will be useful.
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d6 + 1)"Early." says Seafood, eyes still closed.You don't really reply, just keep on dragging out the new dedders you got from garroting. When one pile gets too big you start another, until there's two and a half piles of them, most still warm.To pair, you serve up a 3/4 full booz bottle of Stumpy's herby hooch and a half bottl of Gnoll Glenn.Only when the booz is gone, and one pile of dedder's reduced to uneatable jerky almost the thinness and crunchiness of dried leaves do you venture your request." Sweetfuds, derrs gonna be a difficulty by brekkfast. I've kilt ennuf ovva gitz n Fighty Ones datt deyy might send summun onna horse out to fetch halp. Mebbe Sweetfudz can lendz me Moar Oww and I try to stoppem ."Seafood pauses in his bloodsupper. "You would chase a horse. Perhaps your legs have grown longer, or brain smaller.""I gotz allada horses Dedder Dusted. It won't run too fast. And itz still gotta sleep.""You are sure of where they will send for help.""Nerrh. Nut reely. But errh, derrz only two outs outta town: the road to the Dedder Dump (mass grave) and the road through Mains. I can tryda bet on one road, and if I can has Moar Oww, he can block the ovva one orf ferrabit.""Hai. It is ever the naive and pigbrained who are optimist." So saying, he casts a longy chanty magic using blood squigglies and his dedder leftovers, and a bitty Dust from the Corpse Grinder. When he's done, the bones jump and fix themselves into something twoheaded and sixlegged, big azza minotur riding a centur. Less impressive is that itty bittz uvvit start loosening and falling off almost immediately.>QM rollan 1d6+1 for Necrosleiph's lifespan in Days>Toady does not have Mounted Combat or Monstrous Mount feats; he can only point it somewhere and hang on
>Necrosleiph will last 3 Days>Runspeed 0.8 of a normal horse x 2 by going 24 hours>=1.6x of YOUr Rollan>YOU now suffer -10 Fatigue Penalty to your base Rollan >This will increase per Day unless you choose to Rest[TACTICAL DECISION]Choice 1:>Which road will YOU guard?>Out from Main>Out from Mass GraveChoice 2:>Where do YOU want to post Mo Ao?>With YOU, to reduce your Fatigue Penalty>At the other road that YOUre not guarding, to Stall the Emergency Rider if they go that way>>6099550>>6099246>>6099218>>6100455
and roll 1D100
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>6100563>Out from Main>At the other road that YOUre not guarding, to Stall the Emergency Rider if they go that way
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>6100572yeah this
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>6100572sure
Rolled 2 (1d3)1,2= Out Main3 = Out Mass Grave
Rolled 59 + 25 (1d100 + 25)QaMen Raida!!
Rolled 16 (1d100)apparently Dice doesn't do "- X">Toady Bo3 67 - 10 = 57>x 1.6 = 91>Rider 59 - 25 = 34Caught him within daylight hours.Now rollan Evacuation Carriage going the other exit (Mass Grave Out)
>>6100723It does, but it's finnicky.You would type dice+1d100+-25 for it.
> 16 - 25Dust Penalty> = 0>The Evacuation Carriage stalled a little outside of DerreschstonYou're supposed to roll (1d100-10)x1.6 to race back, but theyre not making it with just a 0+34 Distance Bonus.This QuickTime challenge was too easy.will start writan in 12hrs
>>6100725-_-''next time then
we got lucky :D
>>6100728>-9Mo Ao fucking slaughtered the evac
Riding the Bone Beastie is very uncomfy: it has spikes all along the back, and where it's not spikes, they snap off after a bit and become spikes. You have to watch your jumblies a lot while riding, or they might get caught in the joints or poked by the spikes. You don't need this kindy risk when you're jobbing.So you take up residence in the rib cage instead, stringing ropes in a web through the shoulder blades and spines to spread your weight, so you can hang across them like a hammock.Pad the ribs with some foliage and things, keeping a gap open in the breast for you to peek fru, and no one will even see YOU, just the Bone Beastie galloping at them.Apart from its crumblyness, you discover another drawback to the Bone Beastie: it's real dumm, even worse than the Dimmies.The Dimmies need simple words in short sentences and supervision, but at least they get what you're trying to make them do. This bonepile understands single words, three at most, and not more than two syllables each. If you tried to use it in a raid or sumn - forget war, this ride will last a week tops, assuming no one fights - you'd become the biggest and ironically easiest target. Whatever.You send Moar Oww to watch the road going out of the Dedder Dump while you watch the road going out of Mains. You camp further down, so's only the last house of the Skirts infrunnada Plague Town entrance has any peeksies at all at you. Then you have breakfast: a few lumpy shredds of rabbit you've saved, and a fatty old frogg wivva stikk fru da bum, toasted over a candle. Not too bad, as breakfasts go. At least it's meat, and kindy freshy, thanks to the Pouch.To stay awake you roll ciggies wiv Sordyfagg's baccy leaf and hymnal paper (you're saving Stumpy's baccy until you have some real peace and quiet to enjoy it) while chewing some baccy toffee. You're still tired, but the work and the toffee kindy takes the edge orf. When sun's nearly full up (~10+AM), you hear a galloping coming down the road. You pack up your rollies and stuffs and get into your driver's hammock.As you watch its approach, even YOU can twigg the rider's making the horse go too fast. The nearest settlement is at least 20sumn days on foot(3mphx12hrsx20= 720++miles); that's still two and a half days at a gallop (720÷25mph÷12hrs). There's just no way the horse can make it if he makes it go top speed right out, even if YOU hadn't dosed the stables with Dedder Dust.Whoever's riding isn't thinking. >ahh.>they sent a Humie wots not full grown yet>jezt a grubling wiv poobz>'course he carnt fink>not even the dum Humie kindy dum finkYou wait until he passes you, jezt so he can't just wheel back, then set course."Roit bonebrain. After 'em"The geld is already panting when yerz Bone Beastie kicks orf; the rider takes one look back at the arythmic batter of eight mismatched hooves and legs, and screams his dummy head orf.
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d3 + 1)The geld carnt go any farster, yez fink. You carnt see its eyes, but going by yer guttz it's going to give out in a few minutes.You loop a cord noose in your arm with plenty of lax; when the Bone Beastie's close enough to the geld's rump, you get outy the ribcage and up the neck using the gaps like a ladder.Reaching the head you noose the antlers for a safety, and bigg hupp off bonebrain's snout before the geld can make a gap again.The messnjjerboi's so fixed on speeding the horse he doesn't even know you exist until you're in the air, and then he scrabbles for a wee sord at his side.Which he fumbles and drops lmfaoAinvat a roit blooman SHAME!!!You do him quick, don't even bovva wiv a combo: just ram yez Dagga in his kidneyback, next to the spine, then double-arm the grip and lift-push it hard as you can against his bodyweight. It slices through his ribs like hardened cheese, and when you can't really go up any more carved into shoulderplate at a bad angle and got stuck, you forcefully curve the blade into the spine. He's dedd; let him topple orf, outva way.The horse slows a little, confused at the loss of instruction, slightly relieved that bonebrain's slowly lagging off behind. Then it smells blood, then it smells you, then it starts panicking again.Not being confident in dealing with troublesome animals Animal Handling or Mount Proficiency you do the next best fing: stab yez Dagga in itz neck and jump off.While they bleed out, you help yourself on several mouthfuls of their blood until it stops dribbling out, then some slices off the messnjjerboi that might believably written off as fight wounds, then innada Pouch they go."arrait bonebrain. Back to town. No, no, vat way, VAT WAY. Moran."
Rolled 4, 2 + 2 = 8 (2d4 + 2)You go most of the way back to town then make a biggy circuit and bash through the forests a bit to keep hidden.You haven't met anyone on the way back to Plague Town; the Humies haven't sent anyone else out from Mains. You bash through greenery until you hit the road leading out from the Dedder Dump.You don't see Moar Oww where you posted him; that means he's on the chase; means someone was sent orf.You don't go far from there when you feel dat liddle prickle you get when Moar Oww's about. You follow the sensation until you find him, a bitty into the forest.He addresses you before you can speak, without turning his hood to you. You can't imagine anyone trying to get a jump onnim.Goblin. They sent a horse car out from the back of the town. Two horses. Women and children, many sick; they've slowed."Wotcher. Aincher done 'em yet."He makes the front of the black bedsheet shrivel a bit: he's still mostly neck and ribs, and short tentacles growing everywhichwhere like fingers with too many joints.Your doing.You smirk. " Yerr. Gibbed yez gudd dinnai, nehh."The hood turns away, back to watching the stagecoach. The horses are barely cantering, the coach driver barely minding. You've Dusted them all guuuddTry it when I am regrown. Without Lord Yang's Parrying Sword. And every power of this body permitted.You guess that probably won't end well for you. But Hell if you'd ever admit it."Whadevvah yez zey, bedsheetz. N wash yez mouf r sumn. Evertime yez talks I smellz my cock."You get a feeling, like something that physically existentially can't laugh is laughing.. . . . . . yet everyday you pleasurably self-abuse using MY cock.That one got in your head; can't backsmack it quick enough to count. You're just going to take it out onva wimmin n childrin."Ahh goww fuggz yerzelf, yez cummy pillowbag.". . . . . .Need I while you live?Oohh dem bichz n bratz are gonna take a while to die!
>Yang Wuhan still needs 44LM >- 36 from GARROTEN spree>- 2 from Messenjjrboi>- 8 from Evacuation Coach>- 1(/7) from Pit Traps>= +3LM{{***TIMED QUOTA QUEST CLEAR***}}>Derreschston pop. 60LM >- 24 garroted DEDD>- 2 SOS DEDD>- 8 E.Evac DEDD>=26LM>Derreschston SUS penalty capped at -40
>>6101242YAAAY!Let's celebrate by slaughtering the rest with seafood!Wait, no.Raping the rest?
>>6101257I think we should rest first so we can enjoy ourselves with our full stamina
Rolled 7, 7 + 10 = 24 (2d12 + 10)With the latest intake of Living Man's Blood, the decay of the Pall Body and the subsequent dispersal of Soul and Spirit was prevented.The immediate worry was past. Granted his powers were still halted where they were not cut off, and his original body in a woeful state, but now at least he might seek repair and remedy at leisure. Even if he was now limited to the bare colorless Qi of this world, and the fragility and unconductive without-essential nature of the Pall Body, he retained all his knowledge and experience undiminished. And though he might not be able to use all Methods and Techniques (fa3 shu4; Mystic Arts) immediately and directly, given time and material he could do the same with Mantic Arrays. And if this world did not have the precious rarities needed for alchemic formulation or mantic-tool construction, Once cannot claim to have attained the Acme if unable to improvise past difficulty.What, then, is beyond him?Just teaching that idiot Goblin the foundations of the Thousand Segment Carrionpede Form had all but extinguished the last of the worthless lives in this town, the remainder struck with fearful panic, yet clueless of cause.The useful green miscreant had gone to sleep in a shaded nest, exhausted after a night and day of bloody work well done. Let him have his rest undisturbed; he should be useless else. And anyway, his possible and most probable contributions to One's longer-termed decisions were not required.Yang Wuhan, Blade Emperor, Devil of Heaven, Deviant Peak of Second Origination, considered the artifact plunder before him, the most interesting of which was:[CAMPAIGN DECISION]>the two Elven longswords; unremarkable material, paltry , yet immaculate in straightness, and mirror-like bright. A people of misplaced priorities, counting all things precious; unable to distinguish value, careless of time, none more deserving to be robbed. [HEIST]>the sets of Dwarven gorgets, greaves and bracers; heavily made, and hardily, as though expectant of a hundred years war at any moment. Their makers are scrupulous in expenditure, yet uncaring of actual necessity; closeminded, closehearted, secretly eager for contest, and once decided, intractable. If deceived successfully, they themselves will knowingly uphold the deal, to prove themselves honorable. Strong. Who are you to deprive such willing dupes. [INTRIGUE]>the Righteous weapons: the Sword, Wand, and Hammer. If all that is needed for determined Mundanes to acquire Mystic Arts is to plant fours and kowtow to a Patron, then is it not an easy thing to style Oneself a God. Not one so soft yet miserly in gifts as their "Lady", but generous indeed, asking for little but commitment, expecting nothing in exchange for One's Gifts but the pursuit of their will, their desire. One was no dirty giver, but Frank! Fair! Mmhmhm. And whoso thinks not need but say! [CULT]QMrollan total new lewt
>>6101268>the two Elven longswords; unremarkable material, paltry , yet immaculate in straightness, and mirror-like bright. A people of misplaced priorities, counting all things precious; unable to distinguish value, careless of time, none more deserving to be robbed. [HEIST]
OPTIONS CONT>The handwritten message and Mayorate seal of office. Where a lawless land had many warlords, where Rule of Law prevailed corrupt officials abounded. The shadows in the hearts of men are more reliable than their pretense of a Light! For enough money readily overpaid, who knows what one may buy: today a virgin's honor, tomorrow the Regent's Ear! [TRADE]>A haematite pendulum of minor ormphalic property, its nine faces cut with script, on a steel chain made of tripled rings. A token perhaps; a key to some society. At any rate indicative of various crafts, remarkable not for the extent of their mastery, but for their coordinated unity. As the Absolute™ himself understands, though Martial, Mystic and Alchemic Arts are disparate and difficult to combine, three Cultivators of the Third Rate who succeed will surpass three of the First Rate by their results. A body with this basic understanding will come to sway the world. [DISCOVER][LAST ACTIONS IN DERRECHSTON]You have done nearly all worth doing here. What do you do with the huddling survivors?>pehh. No one sawrus, so jezt leave em. Fugg dis borran place anyways. Wanna kill n fugg more inneresten peepl quiggly. consequences.>KILL! KILLAM UOLL!! GYAHH HAHAHAHAA!!! Consequences.>Convert the surplus LM to:>Dimm Cult? >Meat Stuffs?>Use it to convert a Mundane item into a Charged item with a combination of spells/charges?>Restore Moar Oww quickly?There's a hidden cubby floor in Ͳ, and you heard Sordyfagg quarrallan wiv sumfin in derr; Seafood can break in the Telly Poppup with little trouble, now that no one's guarding it. Do you tell him?>Y/NThere's a Cash Holders place at the head of Mains. Do you wish to hit it for some ready cash? and consequences.>Y/N[LAST RITES]2D1000; Gui Li is acting up again. Dysfunctional Marriage 660 + 50 for Adultery making 5LM worth of Dimm Cult with yez Green Gobby Cork, aka Gobbgantua.
>>6101269>>6101257>>6100732full list of campaign options are out.36 hrs
notes:Mayorate message and Seal were found on the Messenger.Haematite pendulum found on one of the Coach passengers; Mayor was calling in a Favor he's not supposed to have.
>>6101268/ >>6101286Sticking with>>6101269>>6101286>KILL! KILLAM UOLL!! GYAHH HAHAHAHAA!!!>Use the surplus LM to convert a Mundane item into a Charged item with a combination of spells/chargesHidden cubby floor in Ͳ>YesCash Holders place>Yes
Rolled 910, 995 = 1905 (2d1000)>>6101286difficult decision...>The handwritten message and Mayorate seal of office. Where a lawless land had many warlords, where Rule of Law prevailed corrupt officials abounded. The shadows in the hearts of men are more reliable than their pretense of a Light! For enough money readily overpaid, who knows what one may buy: today a virgin's honor, tomorrow the Regent's Ear! [TRADE]i decided on this because i think we shouldnt risk making enemies of elves or dwarfs yet. increasing our influence and power via money seems like the most reliable and safest option.>pehh. No one sawrus, so jezt leave em. Fugg dis borran place anyways. Wanna kill n fugg more inneresten peepl quiggly. if a whole town is found wiped out... who knows what they will do?Hidden cubby floor in Ͳ>YesCash Holders place>Yes
>>6101315>995how DO i do it?
>>6101317
>>6101315>fear riskAssume risk and reward about equal for all choices. This is really a question of what kind of plot arc you want.Pick your taste.
>>6101378lets see what anon #3 wants
>>6101286>A haematite pendulum of minor ormphalic property, its nine faces cut with script, on a steel chain made of tripled rings. A token perhaps; a key to some society. At any rate indicative of various crafts, remarkable not for the extent of their mastery, but for their coordinated unity. As the Absolute™ himself understands, though Martial, Mystic and Alchemic Arts are disparate and difficult to combine, three Cultivators of the Third Rate who succeed will surpass three of the First Rate by their results. A body with this basic understanding will come to sway the world. [DISCOVER]>KILL! KILLAM UOLL!! GYAHH HAHAHAHAA!!! Consequences.>Convert the surplus LM to:>Dimm Cult? >Yes>Yes
>>6101469are you a new anon?
>>6101471no my ip just changed
>>6101286>A haematite pendulum of minor ormphalic property, its nine faces cut with script, on a steel chain made of tripled rings. A token perhaps; a key to some society. At any rate indicative of various crafts, remarkable not for the extent of their mastery, but for their coordinated unity. As the Absolute™ himself understands, though Martial, Mystic and Alchemic Arts are disparate and difficult to combine, three Cultivators of the Third Rate who succeed will surpass three of the First Rate by their results. A body with this basic understanding will come to sway the world. [DISCOVER]>Use it to convert a Mundane item into a Charged item with a combination of spells/charges?>Yes>yes
You flop into yer gobby nest, leaving Seafood to a second helping of bloodsupper. By the looks of things there might even be a surplus.With this little lot in his lap the threat of him draining you of blood is never fully gone no longer at the top of his head. A cloud of weight goes off you, and you fall asleep after a long cold glugg of water. It's been a night and half a day of action; you need a biggy napp. You'll eat a nice snakk wivva fancy herby swigg when you wake up.>naaaarh.>Fatt eatz. Fatty fatty>eatzzz>zzz°°°You wake up in the middle of a mist. You're standing, but it's not ground, and somehow that doesn't bother you.You pat yourself: yez Daggy n Noiffy are still belted on yez. You get them out. Daggy seems a bit... weakish somehow? You swish it around: yerr, verr glowy trail that it makes is gone, and it's much lighter. You casually poke its point on your Quality Kludge Armor's shovelhead shoulderplate, leave it there. Press it a bit. It's not curling the metal away like it always does when you use it to trim plates n fings for kludging. You test the edge on a fumbnail. Then on yez fumb."Aah shidd.">Sky Piercing Dagger (Ruined) is a Knife dealing 3dmg while in Gui Li's DomainYou get low, start sweeping the area, wading the mist at a cautious pace.It parts as you wave it away, coming back only very slowly, but there is a lot, a LOT of it.>dizziz Gurlie's buggshidd>fuggen waiden till I wuz poopt>den tryna do me while I'z nappenGood thing she didn't try this while you were injured from sumfin else. haaas baaandhware arr yuuuYou keep your nerve and your wits, keep still in the mist. You've faced worse before. Like muttface. haaas baaand >dum bich givven away whurr she yiz>finks shez hotshittz duz she>trappen me innere, callen me out>well! Time fer sum hoamskoolan!>daddy bouder lern yer good!You close on her voice, winding through the mist like a werm fru a cheez. When you see her floaty shoes you attack immediately!>SLASHY KILLY SUICIDEY" NOIF TADA AI! YAAAAH!! "There is a perfectly cut scream a quarter beat before you reach her, then an inaudible pop of reality readjustment, and you're awake, wide, wide awake, and Gui Li's floating right over you, pinpoint reddy eyes glazed over.Without thinking you sock her right in the eye, jarring her awake, and one innar meof nyerr! , and you nearly manage one moar when she dissolves into the sunlight, that surprise-nutt look still onna faice. "EYY! GED BEKK ERR YEZ WICH BICH! IF YEZ WANNA FOIT LEZZ FOGGAN FOIT NARR! SKWEEZY CUNT! SPOOKI HORR!!"But nuffin answers you.Finally, Seafood's voice."Woman-troubles, Tudi.""Nerr. No trubbl. Nuffin a backhand kin solv countzaz trubbl. >Dysfunctional Marriage DC 710>rolt 910>2 degs of success >DC down to 690>rolt 995>3 degs of success >DC down to 660>OOOF
>>6101317filler postfor>>6101898saving every other anon the bother of rollan
>>6101899meant>>6101315
so what happens when the tie isnt resolved?
>>6102078QM rolls for tie breaker
Rolled 1 (1d4)Elven Sordz [HEIST]:>>6101304Messijj n Seel [TRADE]>>6101315Blekky Poity Pendlam [DISCOVER]>>6101469>>6101578Since there's no overwhelming majority, we dice.1: Heist2: Trade3&4: Discover
[HEIST] wins by dice.secondary decisions:KILLAM UOLL + turn their gibbs into gubbins preparing a menu nowHit Sordyfagg's cubby YESHit the Cash Holders YESwritan starts soon
>>6102269excited to see what you cooked up when i wake up tomorrow!
>>6102274^ ^
Rolled 9, 4, 69 = 82 (3d100)The Dimm Cult will spend the whole of this last week digging 24hours a day, with a couple hours direct supervision a day by Toady.Rollan for all Dedder Dust produced; Mass Grave is now exhausted of unshriven unclean corpses.
Rolled 408, 631 + 200 = 1239 (2d1000 + 200)Rollan for pillijj of the whole town, Mayorate and Pit included, of anything worth taking.
[BALANCE SHEET] >§920.5 + 1239>=§2159.5 Cash Holders pending>+82 Dedder Dusts >+3LM balance after feeding Seafood>+6LM in the course of the week from pit-traps>+26LM ex-survivers lolno'd>=35LM budget for yerr noo majjikk gubbins>5 Dimm Cult >Toady 12/12HP >Quality Kludge Armor 15/15Dur >[Helff Swigga] 5/6 gluggz
The day after Goodman Tules' boy was sent off East to the Border Duke's with Mayor Hopvoit's Seal, and Xemvarla with the women and children West to Hollyhock City Hopvoit had friends there, he said. At least one., Derreschston sunk ever more into its new quiet.The sound of work was no longer heard at the excavation of the old Church, nor the new, nearly built.The trades that went on at Mart Street, crockery, carpentry, curing and casting, work that were always needed, ceased.People just waited, measuring grain and water by day, and spending their oil anight. The quiet was different from when the Ghules came, under the Curacy of Deacon Omer. Then, by day they waited, in cellars, emptied houses, the woods, venturing the streets for blood by night, a hissing, ravenous crowd. But there were ways against them. Methods. They could be drawn and tricked, over and over; outrun if the way was clear. A thick collar, workboots and garden gloves, bought time: to split their heads, spear their hearts. The talismen of the Lady worked, keeping them from entering owned houses; the Prayers of Agunechemba worked, with faith. But this new quiet was not bayed by either. It had no one method, and kept neither to day or night strictly. It cut necks and spilled bowels, spraying blood in gouted waste, but nary sound, no bodies found.Those who lived past the first nights grouped together for protection, keeping watch by shifts day and night, always paired and sober. It did not work: those that huddled together vanished alike, with every worthwhile thing taken. It was supposed that they had left secretly without word, though those that remained remained unsure.Those who took their apparent example trooped out by daylight in determined march for Maratvan Station, the watch of Dwarf Lord Baralt overseeing the Myrmid-Rhean disputed territory. They never reached their destination, and notice was never made.Those too stricken with a new unaccountable weakness, or by their own cowardice, huddled inside the Mayorate stockade and the new Church in-progress, waiting for help that will never come... in time.The Shoeturner who lived at the head of town volunteered to break open the Church Armory; the Lady would pardon their trespass, if Love was real. The dismay of their find broke their spirits: empty! The Keepers of the Charity LIED!Those that had long-nursed a hard-bitten doubt of religion rallied and began to make what they could using the armory forge. Their reward was a devastating report that left blind and deaf whom it did not slay. The faithful hearty Shoeturner died painless; near headless. They were staked, beheaded, thrown in a shallow pit, covered together. There were none left who knew the Rites, not one who believed.The last of them waited together in the Mayorate, drinking and smoking in Hopvoit's strongroom by candle light, pissing into a large empty barrel in the corner, because no one who went out came back.
They had determined that what water and victual they had secured would last a month; the liquor, five days. These they enjoyed in a resigned peace but one, when the Teleportation Tile hidden under Mayor Hopvoit's safe activated.For a second Hopvoit glimpsed a hope: Perresill the Wizard, who discovered Omer's scheme, who made the Tile that so helped Derreschston in its defense against the Ghules, was come! But the rest, through their twilight stupor, were ready for the end. It was too late to tear down the battened door now, and there were no windows in the hold. Here was their undoer at last, to kill them face to face. There would be no escape now.He was littler than they expected, quite ugly, but not the tall umbrous shape long rumored. Of course not a Ghule, and not a Vampeer. In this there was relief: a better death, at least; violent, but undamned. In under two minutes they were dispatched, to whatever gods there heard them. The last clear thought of the original dwellers of Derreschston was from its Mayor."A Goblin?""yerr, n moar, oldfagg: vee Gobballan. I gatts plenty errens so, nice chatty, but ferr yez itz FROAT ta SKROTE!!!"Night had set on Derreschston, and the searching Day would rise to find...nothing. Standing buildings, but a vanished town.°°°You've already did Sordyfagg, and lewted everfin inniz roomz, so really there should be nothing worth having in his secret cubby. But you want to go anyway, juzt in case there was sumn juicy waiting. It's going to bother you if you don't, months ahead; might as well clear it up.You make a proper frottage of the Telly Pop-up stone in the Ͳ block, out of a cleany white apron and a lot of tailor's wax, and also out of the other Telly Pop-up you found inna woods while making pit-traps with the Dimmies.You bring the two frottages back to Seafood for a gander.Seafood is more enthusiastic than you are about the cubby: he doesn't even punish you for asking his help to crack the Telly Pop-ups."I smell scandal in the Church. Go and bring back anything interesting. Kill anything that isn't.""Wotcher Sweetfudds."You go fru the Sordyfagg's Telly Pop-up first. He goes innere wivvout his Sord n fings, so it should be safey, you figger. You have yer Daggy out, just in case.You pop-up in the dark, next to a short table with a lamp, full reservoir. Near nothing in this room but a... kindy table? A metal slab fixed on a biggy square stone. Smells like mixt iron steel. N blud. Lotsy lotsy blud.A fikky chain jerks weakly as you go closer for peeksies.Oooh, itza Humie! Black tatters for a dress, but you kindy recognize the heavy material and unflattering cut: itza nun-niform! And she is FUGGED UP.No arms, no legs; they've been chopped off, cleany. The stumps have been burned shut wiv Whitey simbils. Ditto her eyeholes. Mouf n tungg too. Carnt beat a Whitey for torchurr, once they get going.
Rolled 10, 3, 7 + 3 = 23 (3d12 + 3)She's shriveled up like a raisin too, skin gray-y n saggy. But she's alive."Lllove. Mmyy Lllove. Mmyy Kesss."She goes on like a drunk nutter this way; you figger she's safe, being a blind, scorch-moufed nubbins. You almost reach in to get at the neck-manacle and the torso belt holding her in place, but then her head starts towards your hand without warning, and you remember the first bitey dedder you found in the Dedder Dumpz. "Kkesss. Kkesss.""Yowza. Mebbe lader, eh, slutt." You make a ball gag out of knotted rope, hood her in some sacking, cut the restraints orf.Immediately she gets livelier, wriggling like a wormy towards you. You open up the Pouch so that she topples in. Zip.Now that you get a good looky at the mixt iron slab, you find that its the metal fixxens from the front of a biggy biggy door, like a fort. Or a cherch. Where the nubbin nun's been tied over it is a Whitey crest, you guess from the old Cherch wot fell innada Pit. From the looks of the grotty black stuff crusted on it, the nubbin nun has been sizzling like a porkrind in a waffle iron.You take the cut the bolts holding the mixt iron slab to its stone blocks and let that topple innada Pouch too. That done, you paint the whole cubby with your fermented pott of gobby glopp, a stench they will never divine nor exorcise.A haunting more persistent and awful than the worst grudge-bearing ghost."gnyerr hur hur hurrr... huekk... hur hur hur hur hu... uekk... gehh heh heh HEHHH uekkkk..."°°°"Hmm. Pretty. Leave us." You do, but spy from a safe distance.You can't really make out what Seafood's doing, but it looks like his sorty majikk: blood squiggles n fings onna ground, scratchies and pokies, and paper pasties wiv reddy squiggles on. At one point Seafood takes out the Binny longsord you found inna Cherch Armory and starts waving it about, like he's slicing strings you carnt see. With every one the nubbin nun thrashes like she's getting whippt r sumn. You bet she'd be screaming, if Seafood hadn't rammed like a bogroll of paper pasties in her meof ahead of time. With a last dervishy flourish that takes Seafood around and around the nubbin nun, he does an air-spinny like seven times and brings the Binny longsord down on the nubbin nun's head.Upon which the sord shivers and shatters with a bright, clear TANG, the pieces shredding greenery, slashing lumber. You duck a little late, but all the pieces miss you. >whewww>shiedddd"TUDI.">SHIDD."Yas Sweetfudds?""You have a pet, and I have a nanny. Feed her until she's recomposed.""Nerr. You wantz I fry sumn up? Or oats porrijj wiv snaylz in?""Blood, idiot. Feed her blood. Perhaps twenty Living Men's worth. A white-jade beauty should prove useful while we walk among carnal Men.">QMrollan Bluddslutt cost
Rolled 227, 589, 627 = 1443 (3d1000)Normally you wouldn't, knowing that troops of Road Warders will soon come after anyone who hits a Cash Holders' office, tuffy and zappy and cheaty enough to deal even with a gang of Fighty Ones, but you make an exception.The Cash Holder Boss wuz probably one of those you already gibbed that was heading for the smoll Dorfy Fort, and you're leaving temarrer, so what the hell.You sit steady in frunnada grill door, and press yer Daggy on the bars one by one until you cut a hole big enough between them to weasel fru.Inside, you get up the teller counter and do it again to those grills. After that you sit and a bit and sniffy for silver: Grain coinz are like a scratch of silver 15% with tin, and proppa silvy coinz are like a goody platt silver 50% with nickel. Locating the strong boxes and change drawrers you wedge yer Daggy bitty in between the wood, and just work the locky tungg off. Handy, dis Daggy. You get out two barrels from your Pouch, one formerly used for pickling, and a smaller one for beer. Innada pickle barrel goes the Grain coins, and innada beery one goes the Silvies.You're probably the richest Gobbo in the world right now, since it will take mebbe ten full mobbz to cart around everfin you got, if not a biggy underhold. Those come with their own problems: yez mobby gobbies stealen from yez, tryna off yer to take yer stuffs, Fighties showing up. The Wondrous Pillager Pouch is a game changer!"I lurves yer, Wundy Plundy Pouch! Muuwah!!"First 2d1000 is cash in GrainsLast 1d1000 is cash in Silver
[BALANCE SHEET] >Stuffs, aka Gobby Tender n Kludge Material §2159.5>Grains, aka Road Tender Ꮆ816>Silver Piece, aka Trade or City Tender Ᵽ$627 PS= Paga Shiavo, "Pay of Slaves"Using Silver to pay for things on the road is possible, but you will probably get a bad exchange, and quickly noticed.>82 Dedder Dusts >35LM budget for noo majjikk gubbins >5 Dimm Cult >Toady 12/12HP >Quality Kludge Armor 15/15Dur >[Helff Swigga] 5/6 gluggz>Bluttslutt needs 23LM to revive14hr break. may need 36 hrs after that, to think on the [ZAPPY TRINKITT MAKEY] menu.Will notify in 14 hrs.
After seeing Seafood do his richool on the Nubbin Nun, you follow-up on the frottage of the second Telly Pop-up you found innawoods. It led to the Telly in the TownBoss' strongroom. You were wonderun how to get innar.With the TownBoss sorted, you hit the Cash Holders at the front of town. You'd expect them to hold moar than what you managed to bagg, and Gauld and Plattnumm, but maybe that's because of the Plague; Ger-nomes love money too much to park it where there's no business. What you got was their candy n baccy munny. Loose change.Well whatever. This town is done and so are you. With Gui Li's Altar, the Dimmies and the Nubbin Nun packed into your Pouch Undead are not killed by storage, you're ready to set off whenever Seafood's ready.He's been kludging sumfin since before you went to make the two frottages, maybe from the night you slept hungry and Gui Li attacked your dreams. All the surplus Living Men's Blood you've wrung from the Dedd Town (siwaddaididdurr) has gone into his kludge. For reference he has the Whitey Sord, Stikk, n Mally in front of him, which he examine thoughtfully from time to time. When he does, he always glances at you, like he's measuring you. He's writing a lot, using charcoal on toily books. You think he's composing or inventing sumn, because sumtimes he goes back and tears or crosses out bits, and sumtimes he copies several different bits wiv bludd onna rag. You ready yourself for sum baalshidd, because when is it not, with Seafood's this innerestid.Then the chanting starts, and you start feeling the sumn like the beginnings of a zappy. You get the hell away and make a new nest, made under the mixt iron slab the Nubbin Nun was on. Three days later Seafood calls for you. "TUDI.""nerrrr... yah?""TUDI! GET OUT COME HERE!""MM COMMAN mm comman! I herja va furz time Sweetfudds.""And did not present yourself. Have you never died before.""nerr... no?""Shut up and get naked.""...iz we pluppen Seafood. Can yez be gennl. Cuz I'z not a hoemoegae for va buttstuff.""I am not a Sleevecutter hoemoegae either, fool; neither I were, to pick you for transmissive frolic.""Should I take me tuckeroos orf too.""Regrettably.""But i'z shy""Shut up and do it, idiot. If I did not need to I wouldn't.""Nerr. So Sweetfuds backed up too?"What. No. Tss. Come here. Shifu needs to put this on you with his own hands." It's a reely longy necklace, made of wood balls n bronze ballz n glass ballz, and lots of swishstrings tassels n trinkkittz. Some of th"...painal beedz?""Come. HERE!"You get over there before he really loses it. It's too longy for your neck as-is, and the string is metal rope that doesn't twist, so he slings it across your body instead.
"Wazziz. Izza safe.""Even if your Shifu said it divided your body and shattered your bones, dare you not wear." Well, since he put it like vat...Then he points at you and {Curse}s you. The ring of beads n trinkkittz tightens around your body. You can adjust it, lift it off parts of you, even resling it on the other shoulder, but at least nine beads will always be stuck fast on your body. You feel like if you somehow tore it orf your meat and bones will follow."A useful experiment, reproducing their Mystic Arts. Trifling play. Tudi, I am going to teach you a few Chants. Learn and remember. With this Mantic Tool (Mo3 Qi4; also understood as Demonic Tool) you have no excuse for failure."[TOADY'S TRINKKITT]BUDGET: 35LMAdditional spell Charges after the first are bought at 1/2 cost, rounded up.>{MARK}7LM Tag a target physically by touch to know their location for 20 hoursTag a target with one degree of touch (ie Slingshot) to know their location for 8 hours.>{POPUP}10LM Set a location you have explored as a POPUP. With one minute of chanting, vanish from your current location to that place, and feel fugged up for 3 minutes.>{PILLOWSHEET}12LMWith 20 seconds of muttered chanting, turn ghostlike for 60 seconds (3 combat rounds)In this state you are not able to interact with physical objects, nor they you.You move in any direction at a slow walk speed, through all Mundane matter.Magic attacks hit at 50%; Radiant attacks hit at 100% and immediately destroy the PILLOWSHEET>{'TECT ZAPZAP}6LM1minute muttering For ~10 minutes you can sense Magic in a ~5 meter radius. 'TECT ZAPZAP makes no differentiation between Items, Persons (eg Genies and Faerie), Traps, Castings; you will have to guess by their intensity, position and movement (roll for it, with bonuses or penalties). On the plus side, almost no one can detect your casting even if they are the target.>{SPEEKY CHATTY}4LM 5second chant, 25seconds chattyCommunicate with Seafood OR a person tagged by this charm within a distance of 81 miles.Recipients apart from Seafood require you to speak in a normal Indoor Voice.>{SNAPTRAP}9LM10second chant.Does 3 dmg, and 1 dmg per turn the target is not free.Target must roll 2Def1Act successfully. 1Def will be used up on this trap; YOU may jump in and get up to TWO autohits with Suicidey>{CHANNEL MALIGNITY: BULLYBUGG}18LMA fraction of Gore Walker's monstrous Murderous Atmosphere (Sha1 Qi4) floods the room. Opponents and non-undead Allies suffer 2d6+6 penalty to Hit Chance and Dodge Chance for the duration of the fight.>{CHANNEL SEAFOOD: KILLYSLUGG}20LMYour bonuses from Carrionpede x2, lasting for x2 the number of levels in Carrionpede you have. Currently, +50% to Carrionpede bonuses for 1 turn, since you don't even have one complete level of Carrionpede.:::NOTE:::Seafood will not upgrade your Trinkkitt willynilly; avail only with major campaign successes.
>>6101304 >>6101315 >>6101469 >>6101578 Propose a majjikk loadout from the menu given, stating which spells and how many charges.QM will take the spellz in common between your choices and do some tailoring.48 hours, moar if you need it.
>>6102982edit:last spell should be>{CHANNEL MALIGNITY: KILLYSLUGG}
>>6101304 >>6101315 >>6101469 >>6101578You must play this on loop while deciding your spell loadout.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9bCfbUm6ao
>>6102982>{PILLOWSHEET} 12lm12 total so far.>{SPEEKY CHATTY} 4lm16.>{POPUP} 10lm26.>{CHANNEL MALIGNITY: BULLYBUGG} 18lm34.Give the last 1lm to Mo Ao lmao loser.One charge of each gives us versatility. Popup doesn't specify range so we can prolly slip halfway across da country with it if we need to. Also doesn't say we have to be at the location when setting it, just that we have to had explored it at some point.
or thishttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtVirHikldA
>>6103000>halfway across the countrylol my lapse. I expect no less, rulez goblinI'll let your first charge of POPUP be Global, for catching it.All subsequent POPUP charges set at 1.5days' march: 3mph x (12+6)hrs = 54miles. Enough to zip inna City or get out of Town quick.You need to leave a detachable mosiac Telly Beed in the designated location before you can POPUP in it; 1 Charge = 1 Telly Bead. Not letting you popup in multiple locations on just one bead.Caution about Global Popups: if Seafood calls and can't find you, and don't know where you are, and you don't show up within 28days, it might be a good idea to avoid him for ever.
>>6102982>{PILLOWSHEET}12LM>{SNAPTRAP}9LM>{SPEEKY CHATTY}4LM>{POPUP}10LM
>>6102982>{POPUP}10LM>{PILLOWSHEET}12LM>{'TECT ZAPZAP}6LM>{SPEEKY CHATTY}4LMcan we learn the other spells later when we have more LM?
>>6103175Yes, but it will be a long while between times.
>>610300026subtotal + 18BULLYBUGG = 44. Budget 35. You're not counting on MY math being shit to try to sneak phosphorous ammunition into the airsoft fight are you. Crafty bastich.
>>6103194I'm just bad at math and failed to redo the maths correctly for an alteration on my post mid-vote
>>6103198^^Put up an adjusted list, if you like.I'll get on this in 12hrsI got lost on your math too. Spent 10 mins wondering why it was off
>>6103200i also saw nothing wrong with it lmao
The first few days setting off from Plague Town you do your Stances and Transformations.It's been a while since you last practiced your Carrionpede Form properly; it feels good to improve again.And, Seafood is no longer making you haul wagons and shit, now that he had the biggy Woman Dimmy to carry him piggaback all hours. Your only problem is always being a little short on sleep, because Seafood insisted on tromping from the beginning of sun-drop to sun-high (~15-20hrs) to make up for the Dimmy's shuffling speed.You and Moar Oww speed up the road ahead for some hours, then spar or rest until Seafood catches you up. After about a week you notice you're not getting any killyyer. You can guess there's more to some of the Transformations, more branches and switch-ups in the combos, but you cant begin to guess at them. You try to invent switch-ups, but they only work out in your head: trying them in free-fight with Moar Oww usually breaks your combochains, or leaves you open in a blind spot for a smack or poke with a par-grown femur.You don't dare ask Seafood for help, thinking maybe it's juzt you not getting it or sumn. Once he's seen you practice however, he orders a clearing made and camp set up. For the next ten days he shouts at you and drubs you and strangles you in between teaching you weird shit: lotsy riddle-rhymes that don't rhyme or make sense, likeCut carrying cut, pierce widening pierce, two butterflies halve a kingdom, two needles take a dragon's head.Out-side-under hook and sweep, limbs tangling limbs; under-up-out pierce and split, body parting, body obstructing.Two blades one, one limb four, head and tail in opposing mirrors, confusion unlearns nine years Form.In water rush water, in grass sway grass; six chi ruler-lengths stillness makes eight bu paces reach. Seafood says the riddle-rhymes are the Sick-Rat Ass-Ants of the Carrionpede, containing movements in the tempo, and sequences in code. It was up to you to match them to the combos and stances you already know and work out the new ones. You'll really need to sit and twigg on them to get it.Apart from this he now forces you to walk with a bitty stick clenched at all times in your toegrip, armpit, elbows, knees. He says you're supposed to learn ta foit like this. Baalshiddizdis.You try your best, earning a new bruise every time you drop a stick, but it's really too much. On the third day of this your body freezes up and contracts painfully, fixing you like a dead spider. Seafood has to come stretch you out across a wagon wheel and lather hotty scorchy shit on you. It does help: after a few hours you unstiffen enough to massage yourself to nearly normal. [TSCP FORM I COMPLETE] >+4(/4) Hit Chance, +4(/4) Physical Damage >+4hp>Toady now 16/16HP [TSCP FORM II OBTAIN+BEGIN]>+0(/2)% Dodge, +0(/6)% Hit, +0(/6) Phys Dmg>new weapon slot at 10/14 upgrades>1d3LM & 1D6§ & 1d3Days per trainan
With the threat of certain pain hanging over you, you learn all 36 of the Sick-Rat Ass-Ants riddle-rhymes by heart before too long, word for word in tempo. Threatening you with the remaining Binny longsword seems to add mass and crease to your sponge: you pick up and twigg things many times faster than your normal. Even if you don't or can't understand what you are learning immediately, your memory fossilizes the whole block of experiential time for you to examine after you survive Seafood's teaching.You're amazed that you can be such a boffins when your tonkers are on the line. Even Seafood is amazed, you think."Illiterate and unintelligible bestial mind, yet fear furnishes pen and ink, and dread makes room to write."°°°The new Carrionpede stuff is harder: you actually have to think about relative positions and momentum, even of individual limbs.You can't just practice hitting static targets anymore, or even Moar Oww; you actually have to See Bludd, how bodies twist and fold and fall to your attacks, and how to twist and fold and fall with them, to maximize yer killykilly; read their instincts, see what they might or are doing even before they understand they're doing it. You will need to kill a bunch to improve. As well, you'll need to eat moar meat, so's your body can keep up with how much you're pushing it. Doesn't matter what kind, so long's warmish freshy n got reddy blud inna. Grubling "meat" and vejjis aren't going to cut it; neither just lard n crackling. Hazta haz bludd or your whole body will cramp up again.To see to this new need you want to start gibbing travellers, but Seafood forbids you."We head for roaded settlements; why reveal our route with corpses." You'll need to figure something out yourself later.Seafood seems quite interested in people now: he comes up to caravans in the daytime, holding a Dimmy's hand, or travellers' camps at breakfast, just as they're breaking camp and prepping to kick off. Begging a crust of bread and smiling sweetly, he asks them all kindsy questions, peeks at all they do.He orders you and Moar Oww far off when he does this, to keep his dupes from twigging on. It works mostly mostly; there are a couple typy groups that are always wary of strangers in the wild, even little beggar girls: Fighty Ones, Murkers Mercenaries, and YOUr Sorty Sorts Delinquents, Hoodz, n Nogoodz. Whiteys and Wizzies especially, even when Seafood's sweetalked the rest of the Fighty group Rogues included; Seafood's acting's GOOD; most Whiteys n Wizzies still feel off about Seafood somehow, even if none of the zapzaps they sneeki-cast can detect it.He is insulted that they are bothered at all; he'll be trying to fix this, you're sure.
Following Seafood's choice, you keep on the road out of Plague Town due[DECIDE DIRECTION AND SOCIETY]>EAST>Hollyhock City>Human+Padfoot government and majorityPadfoot = GoblinSlayerverse Cat/Cow/XYZgirlsDisadvantage:>-11 to -20 SUS penalty for Seafood being a lone child speaking freely and coherently to adults>Toady is Kill On Sight (KOS) within most of the City, and all public commonsAdvantage:>A clear route to Elven Territories[CHALLENGE]Requisitions, forgery and other related sub-legal activities while under hostile scrutiny; Cash Holders and Faithful Brethren of Inquiry present and alert.>WEST>Settlements (up to Town size) in Myrmid/Rhean Contested Land>Myrmid and Rhean majority by territory>Dwarven Peacekeeper presenceMyrmids: GSverse Sentient Mantises; light/medium Natural Armor, Natural FlyingRheas: GSverse Hobbits, Rhea means "Meadow/Garden People"; native Druidic tradition and received Illusionist tradition; 14% of all Adventurers are Rhean, but they represent 57% of all Rogues of Adventurer Guild Ruby Rank (5th /10) and aboveAdvantage>No penalties on Seafood>up to -12 SUS on Toady, depending on Race, instead of default KOS>leads to Elven & Faerie Heritage LandDisadvantage:>1D2+1 transit clearances due to the recent regional conflict[CHALLENGE]Dorfs.[R O L L]>2d1000>because you are WANTED
>>6103175>>6103041>>6103000>>6101304 >>6101315 >>6101469 >>6101578 pingspam just in case.36hrs.
Rolled 29, 96 = 125 (2d100)>>6103834>WESTthe path of least resistance
Rolled 528, 217 = 745 (2d1000)>>6103839oops wrong dice (a shame for that 96)
>>6103844I'll take your roll as flat 960, since it's so good.
>>6103847benevolent QM moment :V
Rolled 975, 656 = 1631 (2d1000)>>6103834>WEST
Rolled 68, 43 = 111 (2d100)>>6103834Killing Mantises might help our training.
Rolled 144, 655 = 799 (2d1000)>>6103892Doh, 2d1000
>>6103892>killing mantises might helpKilling anything helps. I'll accept mantis death as LM.Trainan now costs:1d3 Days1d3 LM1d6 Stuffs
>>6103834>WEST
Rolled 366, 622 = 988 (2d1000)rollan for da Fuzz
[][]RESPONSE REPORT[][]__Discovery__Derrechston Township Branch Office intrusion warding breached twixt Laud and Best 7am and 11am.Entry breach made at the gated front doors, dimensions 3 spans by 3.5 spans pinky tip to thumb tip, full extension. No filings, chemcaust, runeburn, or blasticine traces found. Suspicion of Masterwork Phasic weaponry usage, not in line with the coinage value targeted. Initial impression of misfeant being well-prepared or well-backed, yet simple. Gate has been removed for forensic sampling.Door and gate locks untampered.Entry breach through Teller Cage made similar to the gated doors, despite the counter side entry being unlocked and unobstructed. Surmise that cutting through the cage was easier for the misfeant than casual observation and search for any easier access.Cash boxes and changing tills breached without search or hesitation, possible foreknowledge.Drawer and till locks were destroyed a sliding of the same breaching tool used on the gate and cage into the gap between lock and jamb. Breaching tool supposed to be a needle or blade not thicker than 2 scruples 36mm. Length and shape uncertain.Preliminarily, no castings were made on premises during the time of breach. No local assistance available: Derrechston is completely depopulated and without representation.Warders have withdrawn to observational distance.Additional forensic resources and Wardry support urgently required.Misfeant is expected to be diminutive, as Rhea, Gnome, certain Padfoot phenotypes, or small Dwarf. They should be without magic, work singly or in small cohort. Assume dangerously armed and unpredictable. Presume high access and connection to Evil elements or bodies.Statement of coinage accounted at last close, coinage presumed removed, and damage assessment are enclosed with this report.[][]Road Warder Mule DewRoad Warder Skelly[][]
There's a Refugee Camp erected on what used to be a meadow, close by Everdote, a Rhean village. Those in the Camp are mostly Rhean civilians from the hinterland villages already razed or occupied by Myrmid warswarmsThere had been a river two days away, according to locals, but it's been trampled dry by battle.Only the presence of Dwarven Peacekeepers has stalled the fighting, both sides preferring to let the other strike first in front of an impartial witness, since the Dwarves will readily prevent the worst of it. That the fact of the first strike will give the other side cassus belli is lost on no one.For this politic advantage, Myrmids and Rheans keep presenting ever more tempting targets without war import and provoking displays to their enemy while moaning about land theft, barbaric oppression and genocide. The Dwarves, who were originally here to stabilize the region and maintain trade routes, just sigh and keep their axes honed. Timeoff is suspended, out-rotation extended, and beer-rationing has begun. Nobody's happy.Coming within sight of Camp Everdote you don't think there's a war on: Rheas know how to cook, esteeming food to the point of cultural religion1, and it smelz GREAT. There's a hundred cookfires all over the camp, each serving up to three families either seated on the ground or at kludged pikkynikk tables. Food's plain but plenty, thanks to the Dwarven watch over the relief trains: all food issuance is quickly made to the Rhean community representatives on the day of arrival, because otherwise the rations just evaporate from the wagons under active guard; the Dwarves on duty get charged with Demerits, and the now slightly plumper Rheas complain ever louder about oppression through starvation.Seafood gets off his Dummy piggaback ride some distance from Everdote."Tudi. This your Shifu is weary of the journey. He will surrender himself to the generosity of the common folk awhile. We will meet again at this place in 1d12+2 days.""nerr, can I'z surrender too? Could do with some hot eatzies.""You. Too ugly, too odorous. Take Mo Ao with you and sort yourselves. Don't bother me. Immerse and enrich yourselves. Of all the things to steal, knowledge and information are the most valuable."So saying, he takes some Stuffs and Grain coins from you and meanders off. Not into the Camp, but into the village.You follow him from the dark of the forest. He picks a cottage to knock at: two old Rheas open. He immediately starts blubbering, offering them Stuffs and Grains.And they take him in! Just like that! You catch his smirk at you just before the door closes. "hhkek. Based."1: You've seen a Fighty One challenge a Rhea party member to a duel by breaking a single uncooked string-spagett in front of her. You're still not sure if it was a joke: they both died from mobb pluppens before you could fink to ask.
>>6105070me.
Rolled 2, 7, 2, 8 = 19 (4d10)MOOCHED FROM TOADY BY SEAFOOD:1,2: Stuffs taken 3,4: Grains taken
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d12 + 2)>>6105070Days Seafood spends gallivanting.
>>6105094Seafood plays hard to get, but clearly he missed toady more than he thought he would.
>>6105111lmaoo canon now
>>6105094>rolls 1kek
YOU have three days to muck about with, and Moar Oww and 5 Dimmies to assist.[2 CHOICE 2 ROLL][CHOICE 1]>BUILD HOVEL Y/N>inna forrist>inna Villijj>inna Camp>near the Dorfy Fort>atva Foit ZoneNot building a hovel to zzz in gives you more opportunities to spy and do, but you will be taking fatigue penalty per day until you napp.[CHOICE 2]Day 1 wat do>SCHMOOZAN>mingle and trade with:>Dorfs>Villijjers>Refijjees>TRAINAN >if you vote this and the Days required is 1d3=3, you will spend all of it trainan>FEEVAN>from Dorfs>from Villijj>from Camp>RAEPAN>Dorfussy (challenjjen)>Rheaussy>Myrmidussy, maybe (v challenjjen)>Otherussy (separate rolls for discovery and success)>GIBBAN>see RAEPAN>collect LM for Bluddslutt>WRITAN >bright idees?>every choice above may be modified with WRITAN[ROLLS]>3D1000>1,2 vs DA FUZZ>3 General[BALANCE SHEET] >Stuffs §2159.5 - 9>=§2150.5>Grains Ꮆ816 - 10>=Ꮆ806>Silver Pieces Ᵽ$627>82 Dedder Dusts >5 Dimm Cult >Toady 12/12HP >Quality Kludge Armor 15/15Dur >[Helff Swigga] 5/6 gluggz >Bluddslutt needs 23LM to revive {SPELL LIST}>{PILLOWSHEET} >{SNAPTRAP} >{SPEEKY CHATTY} >{POPUP} This default, for being what everyone wants and so nicely budgeted.>{'TECT ZAPZAP} QM permits a buy-in for this one spell for 12LMQM thought anons would make multiple charges and he could tailor those; having to pick between two loadouts is harder. Next time the dice decide.
>>6105131>>6105127>>6105111>>6104399>>6103947>>6103892
>>6105135should we look for information like seafood wanted us to anons?i suggest we spy on the peacekeepers and see if we can learn something
:::NOTICE:::Everyone in the village is tightly knit, and the Camp is packed.Trying to do anyfin narsty will come at a penalty, and SUS spikes fast.
>>6105140doing what seafood says might gain you an edge while you're trying to navigate this region.this was the Warzone option when Toady was asked where to get BLOOD.
Rolled 932, 461, 508 = 1901 (3d1000)>>6105135>BUILD HOVEL Y>near the Dorfy Fort>SCHMOOZAN>Refijjees
Rolled 384, 341, 296 = 1021 (3d1000)>>6105135>BUILD HOVEL Y>near the Dorfy Fort>WRITANspy on the dwarven peacekeepers and listen for any information seafood wouldnt be able to obtain himself by conversing with the locals
Rolled 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 2, 2, 1, 1, 2, 1, 2, 2, 1, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 1, 2, 2 = 37 (25d2)You smack your lips. Welp, Seafood's comfy sorted, at least. Save you some Stuffs since you don't need to fix him up a hovel.The forest around the camo is cleared and thinny abouts, with lots of open; that's no place to sleep, with all these Rugfoots rooting in the green for eats.Slumming in the villijj ain't much good either: you're not local, and the empties should be already shacked up with refijjees. Rugfoots are famous for having lotsa "frenza frenza rilitivza frenz," which could be no one at all or everyone at once, depending on what they needed it to be.You think Rugfoots are the only race savvyyer n sneekier than Gobbs; you comfort yourself that Gobbs are much much killyyer.°°°Beyond Everdote Camp and Village are a series of short stone blocks about YOUr height plus one head taller, arranged in concentric arcs centering a smol roundy stone fort, facing the Foit Zone. The ground has changed where the Dorfs have made kip: the land here was flat meadow elsewhere, but the ground under the blocks and the fort was rock moor.The fort looked real tuffy, like the rocks that make it up had been cut wivva noif. You're not sure there'd be enough of a gap to climb the walls quicky, even if yez Dagga could cut little noif holds into the walls. The cooking was done on the upper floor, into the open air. Pessen n shidden were done in diggy holes away from the fort. In the far distance, maybe a day or two's march, you can see a similar blot in the landscape as this Dorfy Fort; the same rock moor popping up in the middle of a meadow rise. You count eight Dorfs visible on duty: three on watch duty on top of the stone blocks, two at the fort gate, three on the second floor. You're not going to hide anywhere on the moorland, but since the fort and its dorfs are facing thataway, you make a little nesty at the lee of the hill thisaway. There's a sparse copse of trees and bushes to keep you out of sight, and the roads take an easier path around. The Rugfoots sometimes loiter a long while looking out towards the Dorfy patch, beginning maybe a hunnerd paces from the stone blocks. They smoke and chat and watch, and the Dorfs watch back at them, and after a while they fugg orf. You're fairly sure there's something to that.Ah well. Time fah sum kludgen! Then snakky, wiv sum herby swiggz, then a nappy, then you'll be up n frisky!>QM rollan ration and hovel cost>28d2 = rations consumed travelling here +2>3d2 = hovel cost +1
Rolled 1, 2, 2, 2, 1, 2 = 10 (6d2)>>6105685+6d2, because dice limit is 25
>>6105686>44+2 Stuffs consumed in travel rations>=46>3+1 Stuffs consumed for hovel construction>=4>total §50 consumedWRITAN tmrIf no other anon votes+rolls, >>6105213will be Day 1>>6105281will be Day 2
>>6105689where did the other anons go? :(maybe you should make a new thread so more people check this quest outsince we are at the start of a new chapter thats a reason to do so anywayalso can you roll in place of the absent anons again?
Rolled 336, 933, 346, 645, 516, 91 = 2867 (6d1000)>>6105705>start a new ScrollI'll think about it. I want to fully clock out the post limit of 1000. It gives me power.>roll for the anons killed by Boulder-kunYeah okay. >123= ghost anon rolls>45= QM rollan DA FUZZ>6= QM general roll
>>6105723>Bo3 FUGG DA POULEES roll>932, 933>vs QM 645, 516>DODGED DA FUZZ >RSSPRPRPRPRPRPRPRP>Bo3 Gen roll >508>vs QM 91>Four degrees of Successy'all's some lucky bastiches.is all I can say.writan in 12 hrs
>>6105727wots da fuzz gunna do if th theys spot uz?
>>6105896Not spot, CATCH. Failing Bo3 vs Da Fuzz means you have been caught up and identified and an attempt will be made to apprehend you.You won't be fighting a nakey cripple in the shower or asleep onna couch this time: they will be kitted and rested and take YOU as real threat. Be wary and flattered: very few single Goblins have attained this.You are a significant menace that:>Got the attention of the CHURCH AUTHORITY>for fully depopulated a town recovering from a recent crisis, standing about 135 persons (Derrechston pop. had been 80+ before you started your bloody harvest)>1d2+1 Cherch Fuzz sent after you; at least 1 Cleric + 1 Paladin will accost you>Got the attention of the CASH WARDSHIP>For hitting their Derrechston branch with frankly extraordinary means>in order to steal the coffee-money>the CASH WARDSHIP are not sure if you are a test run, a provocation, a distraction, a mistake, or a moron>They are fairly sure that you fit in a hole of 3x3.5 spans and have access to a Phasic weapon.>1d3+1 Munni Fuzz sent after you; at least 1 Rogue/Ranger and 1 Caster will accost you.>The WARDSHIP are currently investigating independent of the AUTHORITYDA FUZZ will accost you in a fair fight until you are known as a Significant Menace. You can go quietly (Daggy n Pouch will be confiscated and locked up as proof; specialists will be called in to examine them, and you.) or you can fight your way out.Fighting your way out means killing at least one of the Fuzz. You will also want to kill the rest quickly, within the next few days, or you will be promoted to a Significant Menace. The next time you fail to dodge the Fuzz, they will try to ambush you.Giving you a few spells was the only way to give you a fighting chance, you absolute lunatics.
>>6105918edit:Toady took 80+ L M, which translates to about 135 actual persons, including children.
>>6105923>the government found the shit drawer
>>6105918i see! do we have to roll every day to dodge da fuzz or only if they can realistically find us? (we could be going in a random direction leaving no clues as to where we went)and one question about the spells: do we have one charge of every spell for free or do we need to pay with LM from the start?just asking to confirm
Rolled 4, 2 + 2 = 8 (2d4 + 2)After kludgen up a comfy kippy for yourself, you get out Gui Li's Altar and do a round of Ceremony. Since you're eating the good stuff, you can afford to splurge a little on the nine Oaf Dishies shared for Gui Li: bitty roast rinds, berry jamz, maggy brikk bikkies hard tack; maggots are common for the cheaper sort sopped in herby swigg, fingz like vat. Fine dinnering. You know how to treat a woman.Seafood says putting out fancy eats for the Ceremony gives brownie points; if you butter up your Ghost Bride enough you might get something out of it. So you do, whenever itz convenient. Nuffin so far, cuz Gui Li a bich.°°°After a nice biggy snooz you get ready for a night on the town. Okay okay, a late afternoon in the refijjee camp. Yez rich and yez wantz hot eatz.>4 Degrees of Success>1st Degree:But before that, you think on what Seafood did to dupe the two oldies: pretended to be needy and helpless, took just a liiiddle munny n stuffs wivvim, even though he (ie YOU) had a lot, and juzt ask fer fings upfront, like you're the most innocent fing inna world.So you doff your Quality Kludge Armor innada Pouch, and pull out a quilty skirt, needles n string, scissors, leather bridles, n raggz. Nuffin fancy: you want armor that doesn't clatter when you walk, looks juzt cloff n levvah, a few pouches, a few shivs onna bandy, n a tradishnal Gobby Grabsack on your back wiv sum Stuffs in. And over all this, a hat and coat of straw, like a mendycunt.Now you look a peekchur: a right gobby saltminer or woodchoppa, a little bit of munny, alone, not danjrus at all, kek.>2nd Degree SuccessYou stick the shoddy axe in the front of your belt, like it's supposed to scare off people looking at you, and you have a couple munny pouches on you: one with Grain coin at your side as ready munny, a slightly biggy one in your Grabsack containing Grain and a couple Silver as biggy munny, and one moar biggy fancy one, stitched levvah wiv bajjur fur, and clattery Silver pieces inside, slung on your belly buckle as panic munny.Vat one has sumn speshul inna, kehh heh heh!The Daggy n Helff Swigg you stash inna Pouch, and the Pouch you bind onto the Trinkkitt, right over your heart. You won't be able to do your best killykilly without Daggy, but you don't want anyone to see it. Sitting still a few minutes you make yourself to never touch the lump over your heart while you're schmoozan.>duntuchdalumpduntuchdalumpduntuchdalump>DUN TUCH DA LUMP>duntuchdalumpduntuchdalumpduntuchdalumpAlroity! Time fer cold swiggz n hott eetz! Yahh!>QM rollan light kludge armor
>>6105925>da gubmint found da shidd cubby not YET, hurhurhurbut they WILL, huekkk
>>6105951Toady recharges spells by building an Altar to Seafood and praying at it. The same way Paladins n Clerics have to pray to get their spells recharged. No real cost, just prep and time.Seafood reverse engineered the Whitey weapons and got this. Amusing and useful, hmhmhm.Seafood takes the same position as Vecna, a necromancer that attained lichdom, then godhood; Toady is an off-brand Cleric of Vecna.Never as good as a Goblin actually talented in Mystic Arts, but you'll need some options apart from raw killykilly to face a Fuzz party.The current 12LM cost is just to get {'TECT ZAPZAP} included in your current spell loadout; the original price was 6LM.
>>6105974ohhi misunderstoodthanks for clarifying ^^
>>6105987>Plezhah
Visions of the future...
>>6105997
>>6105999999 get
>>6106000 NYERR! YERRZ, YERRZ!! GYEHHH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEHHH!!!
The moment you walk onto the Camp grounds you're watched, and not just because you smell like an old shoe.You have poity ears, yer front teefs iz poity, yer green, n yez haz munny. You act poor, walking quickly to the bazaar area, where most of the trading is. Most of it is crafts n eats; just one or two smol places selling kludge weapons and wear, a little better made than what you can do, nuffin speshul. No tooly or zappy or potty potion stalls; you guess those might be too valuable to set out, and too useful when big foits are within half-day's march.You keep your elbow brushing the Grain pouch at your side, one hand on the shoddy axe. You buy a ball of very fluffy how DUZZ dey doit fried dough flavored wiv nunyunz n buddah, glazed wivva sinnimin shuggah from one stall, and a Biggy Tot by Rhea standards; 3/4 pint of Tabler ale; low alc beer warm-fermented with spice bitters from the next one along; run by relatives."Ngaaaah! Datz va stuff!" The proprietor of the Tabler smiles at you, the twinkle in his eyes frozen. "Another dram, traveller? Have another! Half price, for a thirsty Rh...er...Dw...Traveller! Fancy a roast quail with it, traveller? Goes a treat. Three grain the lot; my pal Dretlund runs the roast pit, he'll wink."Ohh, here it comes. Here's the try. You act cool, like you're Humie dumb. You give him your best happyface."Haff pwice! Wivva roast quwayal wazza quwayal?? Yowzaz, I could do anuvvah. Yer on, BeerBoss!""Ahh, first! That'll be a Grain for the Tabler, two for the quail.""vech, zure, zure..." You take up the Grain pouch, count out three like you're real stupid. The BeerBoss makes a point of not looking your way while you're touching money; you feel the eyes at your sides and back lighting up. You pass him the money, he tops your tumbler again, and a bearded Rugfoots slightly older and fatter than him passes him a smally fatty roast bird on a wooden spit; their eyes don't meet, their mouths tight closed, both acting hassled, meddling with random things infrunnadem to look busy. Cahoots. You soak it allllll up. Good thing the booz is weak: your eyes are clear as river rain.A minute after you bite into the bird dizziz fuggen GREAT! Itz ALL crunchy uppy, even the bones! N itz gotzis munchy veggy stuffen! WOW!! you feel your belt is lighter; you brush the place where your coinbag was, with your elbow: gone! So! DATZ how itz dun! When you bought your first drink, the BeerBoss have you the tumbler first before taking your munny; that's showing trust to get trust!VENN, an offer! So genrus! You'd be a fuggen DUMDUM to refuse! So you take it, revealing where you put your coinz, and VENN, anuvvah sneeki! They hold out a Tabler in one hand, a quwayal in the uvvah, so yez reach out two hands to get it, and datz where they got you!
shidd. sorry for the format fail>3rd degree of successWith yer BRAINZ n eyes fixed on food, two hands full, cloak spread open by your reaching out, you were wide open! Five beats was all they needed to nick yer Grainbag off the belt.Not only were you distracted, even if they fudged the attempt your hands would be full, unable to snatch back at them! You'd need at least two beats to think to drop your nice snakk n drinky, and that's all they need to retract their hand and run! How's you gonna catch them in a crowd full of their frenz n relativz pretending to be stupid to clott up your way? They're scott free!You finish the quwayal before pretending to find out about the missing Grainbag."H-hey! Me Grainz r gone! I'z been pikkypokkt! WHAD DA FUGG! WHO STOWL MAH GRAINZ???"Immediately you get a small audience of concerned coping faces, asking you what happened. Anuvvah trikk! They're stallen yez, see if yer really dat dum, giving the feef at least anuvvah minnit to bugger off! The BeerBoss is the best at it."Really!? Oh dear oh dear pity! And on a new visitor too, tired from the road. How much was it? Twenty five!! My days I'm so sorry Traveller. That's terrible! Two months pay at the salt mines?? Oh dear oh dear. Here: this'll do you. I'm so sorry Traveller, truly." and he tops up your tumbler, not quite half. Anuvvah Rugfoot trikk: they've been so friendly n nice, it carnt be them wot dunnit. It would be simply ingrateful to make a ruckus n shiv peepl until you get yer munnies back, wouldna?You take in everything, drawing out the not-quite-pint of Tabler as long as you can, like yez bigg sadd, then plonk it empty on the beer stall counter top."Mm goin. Fanks for the drinky, Bosser.""No trouble, no trouble. Careful again, Traveller." >yer yer>cunt bastich>I'll 'member yez fershur fuggfaceYou browse about the stalls, pretending to sulk. You wear your grabsack on the front, alerting those watching that there's still moar to steal. Some trikks are tried. Drunks and quarrelers bump into you from the front or sides, no luck: the grabsack has a foldy tuby mouf wivva drarwstring, which you keep tucked towards your chest.They get more daring when they see you don't twigg on: someone jostles you from the back so that you trip over the foot of someone in front, and land in the arms of two. There's a lot of oos n aahs and friendly hands dusting you off patting you down.Right after that tripp, the smell of tin nickel n silver wots been in your nose from the biggy munnybag back in your grabsack disappears. It's already gone.But the weight of the grabsack stays the same. Ooh, a switcheroo, izzit. Dats a lot of deft hands at work; three or four at least you fink: picking the grabsack's mouf, picking the biggy coinbag, planting the fake weight, then tying the grabsack back. All in the time it took from you tumbling then righting yerself.
You don't even bovva looking around to see who got the biggy cashbag from your grabsack; you know it's been passed on at least twice since you noticed the smell of your munny gone. Handy innit: any time the crowd's thicky, YOUre about to get fixed, and it keeps being thicky around you until the feef's fugged far orf, or you've come to terms with your new poverty. A goblin is never just one goblin most times and a heist is never just one feef. It's a web and it's a chain, and if it's planned good enough the planner don't even need to show, just keep far off n play innocent.>wat, ME? Steal the royal gubbins?>I wuz sitting home n mending socks n rollan ciggies fer weekz!>Arsk annywun!You amble along, seeing moar smiles from the corner of your eyes; none directed at you, just smiles between people chatting, happening natural. You work it out: they think they got all your munny, it's tucked tight somewhere with them, now they're watching you for the moment you find out and freak.>4th Degree of SuccessWith your hands in your cloak, you fake a stumble on some discarded peelings and make a short jangle of the fancy pouch at your waist, containing silver.The smiles vanish like mist from a fire, eyes drop into half-drunk cups, and the bright chattychat you've been hearing slows to tense muttering. You got their attention. Now itz time to bait.You head for the part of the bazaar that's wider and quieter than the food and crafts portion. Here's where the service-trades are: tinkers, sharpers, lettermarks, barbers, inkers, doctors, gamblers; all sorts. A few whores eye you. There's a fix there waiting, you're sure, but you don't want it to be so easy they get wary, or risk your own distraction. You need them to make a risky leap, and you need YOU to be fresh n crispy, to catch them in the try.You steer away from the whores; you spy one whispering to no one in particular before turning back to chat with her fellows; you've already been marked and they're angling.Of all your senses you keep your nose the sharpest now. Unbeknownzt most of YOUr cashes have been smeared with smegg. Not a lot of it, just enough to feel very faintly stikki. Because itz Gobbo smegg, and not just any smegg; itz YOUrz and it's been made weird by your interaction with Moar Oww. You can tell it's close just from a whiff, especially if it's freshy.You stop by a readers' rental, pay a Grain to read two volumes of your choice, start browsing. You still carnt read squiggles, but Seafood's are better. Fiercer, like they could bite you. Gnarlier, like they're the ones reading YOU. And then:>snf>close.You take some sideway steps like you're reading the titles on the higher shelves. You get a stepladder from the bookrent, take a steppy uppy. When the crowd behind you quietens and thickens you drop your bait: tippytoe with one leg aside, reaching up for a biggy book wot caught ur eye.>NOWNOWNOWNOW
You barely notice the featherlight touch on Gobbgantua; it's the muffled gasp behind the shelf that alerts you.Quickly and forcefully, with none of that hoitytoit nancy gingerness you've been putting up till now, you push most of the books on your shelf out the other side, where they land with a meaty thump on the feevan faggits.That gives you one second moar: you thrust yourself through the emptied shelf and drop down on three Rugfoots. Two break one way, one another, a preplanned action. You preplanned too: pick the one where your smegg stinks strongest, and stick on him until you get him.Ohh they pull out all their trikks then, when you're hot and close: sudden crowds heading right to you, not even ambling, some of them even making eye contact; people carting crockery and glass n longylong planks in wagons and hoistpoles suddenly crossing in front of you; a crowd of Rugfoots all wearing the same hat and specs and duellist mustache. >NOPE>FINK AGAINThe ones that dare surge on you get a shiv each: you already have yer pokies out under your straw coat, pointed and waiting for them to bump you, then you dig right in their tendies, and if they don't pull back pronto and draw off their fellows you Carrionpede GOUGE.It takes only two gougings before the surges stop. They knew you would be angy, who wouldn't be, after having fourty-some Grains and a handful Silver nicked; they just didn't expect you would be you. The mobile barricades were trouble only for peepl used to going around on two legs and can't swerve on tight angles. YOUve fully mastered the Foundation of the Carrionpede, and it takes nothing for you to just drop and scuttle, confusing the raw fugg out of them. You can see their eyes bulge. Their guy got slowed even moar, since he had to go through the cluttered paths hiding the mobile barricades, and now YOUre catching up.>YER MOINE MAGGITThe last trick was their trump, real masterful. Everyone plus the liddle pube-rat pulled out a red cap and a guisey specs-n-stachy, and then just milled. Ooh you can feel them anticipating your confusion when you encounter a crowd completely saturated with Same. And you act it too, just walk dumly, swiveling your head like a lost turkey, all the while following your unerring schnozz, nostrils in the wind: the pube-rat has to match the pace of all other meanderers or be marked out, so he loses distance trying to blend in. The crowd also doesn't push or crowd at you, firstly because you stab like they stole your food 2dmg shiv each + 4dmg Carrionpede bonus; you make a penknife do the same damage as a gladius, second because it let you twigg that you're close. Their trikk works against them: you close the distance, two breaths away, and then you charge, right at him.He loses his nerve, breaks into a sprint, outing himself. The six who instinctively move in behind him get sliced. Screams.
QM: "0 ffs" Some of the quick thinking ones, Roogs probably, pop out and spray you with pump-insecticide and kus-kus perfume and ground pepper.You sneeze a few times, gash their arms open and jostle past.Between handling your Grains and Silvers and touching Gobbgantua, the featherfingered thief has touched enough smegg that you can't lose him. Her. The pube-rat's a she. "I CAN SMAEL YUR CUNT"It makes her flinch to hear you; she loses one second just processing your foulness, and you use that window to send the shoddy axe her way, blunt first. It catches her on the shoulder, putting her off stride. She rights herself, tries to push on, but she's out of puff and you are far, far too fit.The moment you close within arm's length she suddenly spins on you, flinging glass dust, glisteny knife ready. You're ready too: a handful of Dedder Dust, and good ol Sicky, pommel first.You break teeth right on the first blow; she cuts you once, and you whallop her. By the time her troops arrive you she's painting the ground: you've rammed her face several times into it.You're both panting, her neck resting on the Sicky's curve, you looking up at a crowd of helpless, angry Rheas.You draw out yet anuvva shiv, lay it across the back of her knee."Get me the Bosser of your pikkypokts. Or Liddle Mizz Muffet never plays hopscotch again. You have ninety beats.""S-sir, we don't know what this is about-""Eighty beats, and I'm gettn nervus."They bring him. It's the fatty oldy quwayal roaster. Dragg Lord or sumn.You just stare at each other for a bit, sizing up. You both know YOU have a better hand."So you're the Bosser. I'm not happy Bosser. Make me happy."He clears his throat."It is only money, Traveller. There is no need for such a... vigorous response." Only money, says the guy wot had a crowd and several streets planned out to cut you off.You move your hand holding the shiv, from the back of her knee, to between her right thumb and poity."It'll only be juzt a fingy then. She's got nine more to cheat at Pooker with. Forty Grain and eight Silver is a good price for a fingy, inna." Your total lack of inflection, Seafood's pattern of speech Intimidation (2) , is working: his resolve is cracking. He's trying to hide it, like you've always tried to hide your fear of death around Seafood. He can't Bluff you."What do you want?""yez made me run n all. I'm hungry again. Two quwayals. Two Biggy Tablers. Wanna eat."Dragg Lord makes eye contact with two people; they duck off into the crowd. In a minnit they're back: one holding two tall Tablers, one holding two quwayals onna stikk."Bringgum. Mm starvan." They approach, eyes cold, bending to lay your demands before you.
Before they can set down their offerings, you chime in. Another of Seafood's trikks: always change direction."Ah-ah. Mm not hungry any moar. But you two muzt be, runnen n fetchen. Thirsty, hungry work. Siddown. Eat up. Now."They stiffen. Yup, knew it. Pizzened. You press in before someone can think up an excuse." I sedd sidd n eat, Runtdorfs." You lift Sicky a little, making the red line in Mz Muffet's froat a little redder." Or Mizz Muffet will nivvir swaller nuffin again. FREE! TOO!! "Your sudden escalation forces them to act: the one holding the Tabler quaffs them, and the one holding the quwayal scarves. Before they fully finish you bellow again." Now SIDDAN. Put your hands onna floor. Spredd yez fingies. I sedd SPREDD!"Prevented from reaching their antidotes, and now three hostages in your reach, Dragg Lord is in an even worse position than before.In under a minnit, the two Rheas who brought the food topple backwards, snoozen. You smirk at Dragg Lord, who looks stonily back. He's doing his best, at least. Someone might have gotten the Dorfs, you don't know. Time for YOUr demands.You point with your shiv." You. You. You. You. You. You. And you, Bosser. All of yez, prick a drop of bludd on this ragg roit narr infrunna me. Doing. Firty beats. Go." They don't understand, they're afraid, and they obey." Narr cut orf a locky yez hair, n put it on the ragg. Firty beats. NO. ONE. MOVE. Vat means YOU , DROOD!"When you have their blood and hair, you add Mz Muffet's to it, easily. You pocket the mess. "Now I have your lives. Bluff (2) I was never 'ere, you sor no wun lookan loik moi. Do. You. Unner. Stan."The crowd nods. Oh they nod.You pick up a spilled beatle-nut from the ground, touch it to the pool of Mz Muffet's bludd, and point it at every one whose hair and blood you just took.>you>you, you>you, you, you>You especially, Bosser>and herThen you put it in your mouth and crunchy. They all flinch.Then you, muttering your {POPUP} chant, start dragging Mz Muffet into a tent stall wats empty, and cut the flap down.When her angry boyfriends or brothers burst through moments later, you've already {POUF} gone.
Rolled 6, 3, 8, 1, 10 = 28 (5d10)[BALANCE SHEET] >Stuffs §2150.5 - 50 travel rations - 8 light kludge armor construction>=§2092.5 >Grains Ꮆ806 - 4d10>Silver Pieces Ᵽ$627 - 1d10>82 Dedder Dusts >5 Dimm Cult >Toady 16/16HP >Quality Kludge Armor 15/15Dur >OR Light Kludge Armor 8/8>[Helff Swigga] 5/6 gluggz >Bluddslutt needs 23LM to revive
>>6106222[BALANCE SHEET] >Stuffs §2092.5 >Grains Ꮆ806 - 18>= Ꮆ788>Silver Pieces Ᵽ$627 - 10 >=617>82 Dedder Dusts >5 Dimm Cult >Toady 16/16HP >Quality Kludge Armor 15/15Dur >OR Light Kludge Armor 8/8 >[Helff Swigga] 5/6 gluggz >Bluddslutt needs 23LM to revive
>>6106220seafood would be proud if he wouldnt be so angry with us for causing a scene
You got a nice meal and learned lots for juzt a buncha munny.You just wanted sum dinna; (((veyy))) starded it. You didn't expect it, but neeva did veyy, lal.Pity they took a whole buncha silver tho, but oh well. You'll make back lots later.>+15 Bonus to Sneekibreeki related rolls in future>+15 Bonus against civilian Rheas; +7 Bonus against Adventurer RheasAfter being up close observing them, how they talk and act, when normal n when foitn n when scurred, you have the beginnings of an idea that you might be able to pass off as one of them.An especially old and ugly one, a little grayer skinned and harsher voiced, but you've seen a few decrepits that might pass for YOU. With a little makeup, dress, n acting, you'll be able to pass as one of ((themm)). See the Rhea, Burglar, of the GSverse, GS's own Shifu.>You are now able to enter the public commons of most Cities without being Killed On Sight.>Entering the Cities themselves is a separate challenge.[NO DECISION]Day 2, spy on Dorfs, try to get information not available to civvies.[ROLL]>1d100>the Fuzz are not efficient>>6105987>>6105997>>6105213>>6105127>>6104399>>6103947>>6103892
>>6106225nah, it's foin.You have the refijjees in the grip of terror, at least for several weeks.Seafood's not disturbed in his Bed n Brekkfast; the ruckus is not big enough, as far as he cares.
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>6106234meaning: no official reports will be made of YOU until it's nuffin more than a dreadful story told in taverns. >Four Degrees of SuccessYou've beat the odds like a redheaded stepchild.
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>6106230Heh. Heh. Heh.
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>6106230
Rolled 5, 79 = 84 (2d100)>Bo3 78>+15 Sneekibreeki>-12 default SUS vs Dorfs>vs QM Dorfs
>>6106704>Bo3 78 + net3 = 81>Dorf Troop 79ooo, closegood thing you just learned lots.
>>610670520hrsbuilding BS meter
Rolled 3, 1, 2 = 6 (3d3)In your downtime you kludge an altar for Seafood, nuffin speshul: sum plankies for a base and roof at the foot of a tree, a dishy for offerings, two candles yez juzt chop a short one in half; he won't know, and a little act-him figgy of him in the middle, painted red and decorated gnarly like with quwayal bones and shiny bugg shells n fings like that.You've got tiles n bricks n all from looting the constructions at the Plague Town Cherch, but you think you shouldn't built big, since you're here just for three days, and you carnt pick up and keep Seafood's altar like you do Gui Li's: Seafood's a kindy god wot yez getz zappies from, and shifting his altar counts as a sackky legg. It sounds bad, and you don't want it.So you build cheap and small, just enough to do you a few days. After chanting a short henlo chant, you spend a Time (40min) bugging the act-him figgy at the altar for zappies like it's really Seafood. You don't need to use your Outside Voice like you do with Gui Li, so it's more sneeki n low-key than the Ceremony, but you do need to mean it.>ooh Goody Goody Sweety Sweetfuddz gimme zappies>I needy needy zappy zappies>ter sneekisneeki killykilly>for yez, 'course>gimmegimmegimmegimmegimmegimme>pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls>puhLEEZ, puhLEEZ>pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls plsYou feel a black shiver go through the place, and your Beed Trinkkittz feel weirded and a bit heavier; that's how you know you're all topped up.Now, how to do the Dorfs.They're earth dwellers, cities not just in mountains, but in biggy biggy cellars deep underground. They've got Dark-Peek about as good as yours Dorfy Dark-Peek better at seeing detail; Goblin Dark-Peek better at detecting movement., so you have no advantage prowling by night like you do against Humies.You're not confident of burrowing at their fort walls either: the moor ground would be hard to dig without noise, and to climb fast you'd be leaving tracks, like crimp holes and tar stains.And they're awake all hours too, in shifts; twenty-sumn of them means there's always watchers.You sit and do a biggy fink. You're lots better at finking these days, for cheekibreeki n fings like that. Could be that hanging around Seafood's slowly making you smart. Then you go snooping, starting from the direction of their shitpits and working towards the fort. Dorfs don't shidd much beer and meat diet, but like all the other Weak Races they don't like to be around it once it's out.There's a waterbutt with rainwater near by for washing. YOU get to washing, remembering how the Rheas' noses always crinkled when they were facing you in close quarters. There's soap-cakes in little beer pails; you pick the biggyst, nicest one, and do yourself over thorough. This is the first wash in your life and you want it to last you.After washing your pitts n bugghole you put it back in the soap pail with the others.
>>6107175>Take a bath>Get cleaned up real nice>+10 Charisma>Charisma score is now 12>Mod of +1 in dnd terms>Nice
After washing, you start making yourself smell like a dorf: you smear metal and leather polish paste on the outside of your Light Kludge Armor, quench oil here and there, some storage grease an oil+tar mix, keeps rust off big manual tools, like spades and pickaxes; sticky and awful and works , and a goody splash of Toebend's Delectable across your back. You don't think Dorfs got schnozzes as good as Gobbs'; you just don't want to get outed for smelling like YOU. All these strong smells on you will interfere with your schnozz some, still not enough to keep you from sniffing out Dorfs around a corner: Dorfy sweat smells like stew 1 all wear mixt meddl bin-cans steelplate, n soljahs wear lots. Even they Dorfy Sissies jangle like bags of change. Them getting a drop on you is not likely. They could still charge you into a corner and thrash you though. Or chop yer; more likely chop yer. Dorfs is big on choppan. 20 Dorfs in bin-cans might be the end of you, if they twigg you.Now kitted and prepped proppa, you dig Moar Oww out of the Pouch and send him a biggy biggy round through the forest to the Foit Place that the Dorfy Fort's stone-blocky defenses are facing. While Moar Oww's off, you creep with a grass blankie over you until you're within sprint of the walls, just out of bowshot.From what you can see, the Fort's evenly made, same height and thickness all around; no obvious weakpoints. That leaves only the Dorfs themselves to exploit.From your observations, you guess at the best time to try them: the most drinking's from moon-up to moon-drop, so the most hangy pukey's probably about sun-up to just before high-sun. 2You time Moar Oww's appearance at the big Foity Grounds to be around that time.When that happens, there will be a commotion and alarum at the Dorfy Fort walls. All their heads will turn to look at Moar Oww, and that's when you'll sprint to the walls and {PILLOWSHEET} in.When it's time to go, you'll {POPUP} . Even if they had hands on you, you're gone.Failproof. 1: Dwarves are the only populous race that can get regular meat-sweats without a coronary, blind drunk without cirrhosis, and consider arsenic salt an acquired taste.Dwarven Theopologists use the fact of their impervious constitutions as hard proof of their Divine Design. Certain Elvish Nöléma Balaín ("Learner of Divine Holiness"; Theopologist) build on this to wittily conclude ("snëéde") that the brains of the Dwarven pantheon were made of rocks.Wars have been fought over this.2: Toady doesn't know the extent of Dwarven alcohol tolerance; there's not enough in beer rations and contra-regulation stashes of thimble-mead at Urdrin Und 11 (Trade-way Watchpost 11) to give any five Peacekeepers a hangover. But Toady did predict the timing fairly well: 1000-1330hrs is when half of those on duty will be quieter and tetchier.
>>6107201lol it's going to take more than a handsoap wash to give Toady charm and appeal.He's barely housetrained right now.Interested anons will need to write in on how to make Toady Gobzanova.This might go anywhere.>we wantza HEIST>n we wantza doit ZEXEY
From your perspective, getting the {PILLOWSHEET} on makes everything kindy misty, including yourself.Your mist catches on the mist of everything else, so you struggle just to reach not-quite-walk speed. Good thing is, you go through rocks like yer swimming through mucky water. The walls are proper castle walls, really thicky: takes you six steps to get through. Then you're indoors. This fort is juzt a thikky round house with a castle roof, nothing like what you've heard. You've stepped into what looks like a jail, big enough for maybe eight or nine of YOU, if you're not stacked feetz-on-heddz 3 or 4 Humans .Its empty and unwatched; not a proper jail, just an empty room with a heavy grill door.Either side of the jail is bunks and supplies, taking up three quarters of the fort's interior, with a wall separating here from the front gate. All empty right now: everyone's been called out to look at the big scary black bedsheet drifting across No-Dwarf's-Land.From the jail door you spy a stairwell going down from the middle of this bunk room.Your {PILLOWSHEET} is still on, so you sink and swim into the floor as fast as you can, knowing there's a cellar level below. You get through the floor and settle on a rafter arch just as the spell cuts off. Dorfs build mostly stone; you can move about on load-bearing structures and floors without anything creaking. You might be able to keep out of sight a few minutes if someone comes back down; you can't stay long.Six bunks against the walls, crates put together to make a biggy table in the middle, over which are charts and maps set up, boxes of papers, one box of books; these are official diaries, like the ones the TownBoss of Plague Town kept, much better made.You move quickly, nabbing handfuls of crumpled papers off the floor, moar crumpled papers out of a biggy beer pail at the head of the crate-table, things that won't be missed.You don't dare to take the diaries from the box; the Dorfs made them big, immediately noticeable if one of them went missing.Instead, you take out several of the older diaries and shake them by the spine. Whatever falls out - sheave-folds detached from the spine stitching - you bag.So far you haven't seen weapons, armor, tools, medicine bags, nothing you can nick offhand. The Dorfs each have their own chests, one bigger than the other, for rations and issued kit. You empty the trash pails near the bunks into your Pouch instead. You'll sort it all out later, maybe get some clews out.The stairwell to this level widens into a ziggyzaggy ramp after the landing, growing down to yet another lower level. By your estimate the stair well could fit maybe two and a half Dorfs side by side; the ramp might fit six abreast. There's a warning sign on a metal plate just before the ramp: you don't know what the words say, but it's in red and yellow, and shows two Dorfs with long axes making another Dorf kneel.
Remembering how Sordyfagg had a zappyzapp rigged up to toast you the moment you stepped on it, you back off from the warning plate. You don't want a Dorf zappy going off in your face. It will almost certainly involve biggy rocks. clumpclump, clumpclump, clumpclump, clumpclump, clumpThey're back! Coming down! There's no time from where you are to scuttle up the pillars. You blitz for one of the bunks, grab a pillow off the top and duck under the bunk, already chanting for {POPUP}. You hold the pillow up, using it to block their view. The tempo of Dorfy talk sounds like they garglen rocks, kek doesn't heighten or slow. Ain't seen you.Your hand brushes something: quality print paper, crumpled.Without stopping your chant mutter you examine it.>Ooh, wazzis?>A Dorfy pinnup!>noooice>yer geddin tribbz layder, SquattieYou shove it in yer cloffy armor.There are footsteps coming towards the bunk, but you can feel the zappy kicking in." kek, too slow, dirt fairy!" you whisper, just as you see the inquisitive beard at the head of the bunk begin to lower. You're gone.
[BALANCE SHEET] >Stuffs §2092.5 - 6 for Seafood Shrine>=§2086.5>Grains Ꮆ788 >Silver Pieces Ᵽ$617 >82 Dedder Dusts >5 Dimm Cult >Toady 16/16HP >Quality Kludge Armor 15/15Dur >OR Light Kludge Armor 8/8 >[Helff Swigga] 5/6 gluggz >Bluddslutt needs 23LM to revive[BONUSES]>+15 Sneekibreeki>+15 Gen vs Rhea Civilians>+7 vs Rhea Adventurers [1 CHOICE 1 ROLL] [C H O I C E]DAY 3 at CAMP EVERDOTEWAT DO>SCHMOOZAN >mingle and trade with:>Dorfs only>BARTARAN>only trade with Villijjerz>limited mingling>EXTORTAN >Refijjees >TRAINAN >if you vote this and the Days required is 1d3>1, you will expend Stuffs and get nothing.>FEEVAN >from Dorfs (known: v difficult)>from Villijj >from Camp >SPYAN>Sneekibreeki into the Dorf Fort's again, now aiming for the second cellar>RAEPAN >GIBBAN >need 12 LM to unlock {'TECT ZAPZAP} spell>need 23 LM to revive Bluddslutt>WRITAN >bright idees? [R O L L] >3d1000>1,2 vs DA FUZZ>3 for general>>6107201>>6106689>>6106497>>610623836 hrsNote: Seafood will look over your literal trash intel gathering after tomorrow
Rolled 121, 489, 146 = 756 (3d1000)>>6107397>EXTORTAN>Refijjeesthey should tell us everything worth knowing about their race, culture, currently frozen conflict and their enemies the mantisespreferably provide us with writing containing such information"knowing your enemy is half the battle" or somethingalso: if we roll high enough i think we deserve to fuck one of them too ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
>>6107412>also: if we roll high enough i think we deserve to fuck one of them tooproceeds to roll horribly*sigh*
Rolled 635, 341, 362 = 1338 (3d1000)>>6107397>>EXTORTAN>>Refijjees
Rolled 71, 448, 31 = 550 (3d1000)>>6107397>BARTARAN>only trade with Villijjerz>limited minglingGood information gathering opportunity. No need to pry, we just need to get more of a feel for things. Maybe then do a little pluppin and gibbin based on what we learn?
Rolled 453, 105, 68 = 626 (3d1000)let's see.All other anons may still pick a course, but no more rolls.
>>6107397>LEARNAN HOW NORMIES SPEEKDisguises n shit will work better if we can speak like a normal person.Maybe even read like a normal person, someday!But obviously not something accomplished in a single day.
>Bo3x3: 635, 489, 362>vs Fuzz 453, 105>vs Gen 68kekthe casefile cabinet caught on fire while the attempted to process a Dragonkin. Toady is off the hook again.OTHER ANONS WHO HAVENT VOTEDVOTE TO PLOT COURSE24HRS
>>6107696>QM somehow managed to roll lower than we did on all 3 dicewow>>6107698good ideasupporting this when we have more free time next
>>6107698I also think this is a good idea for later.Watch as our speech still stands out- for being overly formal.
>>6107724>>6107712>>6107698George Bernard Shaw would have lost his fucking mind.
A homely, pleasant race, skilled in the kitchen and the garden. They will make good house-serfs, he thought, helping himself to more pancake and sap-honey.Richer fare Yang Wuhan had eaten; far rarer and costlier, dismissed untasted. How strange, then, that a simple flour-cake made by slow, old hands, hot off the griddle, should so satisfy. Four had gone, now two more grace his plate. Perhaps it was because he was a child now; perhaps it was because he had presented himself a recent orphan. But harsher had he seen dealt to such in his own world than here, and his present body was not of the race of his hosts. The fraud philosopher that said "Man is born with Good Inherent", spoke not of Man, but of Rheas, who attain their dotage with souls unstained.The Blade Emperor never asked the names of those unequal to shedding his blood, but now he learned the names of two:The Husband was Clettennoak, the Wife, 'Telda, Haybarrows of the Everdote Haybarrows. The land had been an inhospitable wild when their forebears were granted it of the Humans, themselves granted it of the Faerie; the land rejected those that fed without tending, that wrung without feeling.Under Rhean care, the rockfast trees gave way, the hookbrambles withdrew to grass, then meadow country. The Rheas made a welcome home, loving the soil; in return, the line of Human Border Dukes gained a par-share of tea and tobacco of good quality two years of every three (the third was for fallow; the Rheas insisted strenuously, withholding work and yield under fines and hard detention, until even Greed stood rebuked), and exemption of all corvee. The Myrmids, seeing such expanse so fruitful and succulent, declared it within their bounds by virtue of ancient hives new discovered, an Ur-Myrmid civilization flightless and underground. The locations of these were not disclosed, purportedly for fear that other Races would destroy them to deny the Myrmid claim.Counterclaim by appeal to historic Human records containing no report of Myrmid presence during the Human tendmanship of Everdote is rejected outright by the Myrmid Host: the Mammalian supremacy shakes hands to defraud the Right and Just Insectid Interest, to thwart and contain Our Inevitable Ascendence!The Dwarven intervention purports to be for peace while acting in the interests of commerce.In such circumstances a Rhean Underground has begun to operate, drawing their numbers from the displaced, sabotaging the Myrmid nestholds in the forests across the battlefield. Both sides boast of having Faerie sympathy and historic claim; neither have an interest in truth. Both are of dubious repute: one side as invasive infesters, the other as swindlers and wanton thieves.Is it a wonder if some wish both to kill each other. he thought."Slow down dear! Or you'll have no space for chowder toasties with mulberry marmie!"Yang Wuhan smiled rare happy smile.I have decided. I will never kill All of them.
Same with Hellboy.
>>6107856>Is it a wonder if some wish both to kill each other. he thought.The plot thickens. Let's make it worse, lol!
One moar day of free time before you meet up with Seafood again, and you decide you haven't had enough of shidding up the Refijjee Camp. That last jaunt taught you plenty, but you wanted a vaycayshun, just like Seafood, eaten n funnen n horren. All you got out of it wuz two drinks and a delishy stunty chikkin. It wuz priddy gudd, but it wernt no vaycayshun. And even for that little bit of enjoyment they made you work.Yez want souvies, yez wants moar eatziez, sumn sumn, anna coot Rhea gurlie wivv floral shampy smellen niceynicey to pluppypluppy screamyscreamy, gnehh heh hehh. You don't get your hopes up too high: after all that ultraviolence you visited on the tribe of feeves wot tried you, you carnt trust a bite of food from their hands. They'd probably keep their women and children out of your sights, buncha pre-cuck cucks.So it's going to be souvies. Put the squeeze on n get sumn out of them. You're going to look bossyyer than usual for the occasion. You need to look Bad.You keep your Light Armor and get out the Quality one. You mod it a bit, for better effect: tap a couple holes in the shovelhead shoulder plates, put a longy screw in upwards, put a rat or rabbit skull or two the spike and glue it up; get a shitty spearhead, smear it with blood so it looks grotty, make a crummy handle out of spare wood and glue bones on, and wear it across your back like a Boarbearrian. You won't be using it anyway: Stumpy's Noif and yer own Sicky will be your go-to, carried in reverse draw between your ribs and your elbows. Your tin [Helff Swigga] gets the same treatment: an animal skull put over and glued on. The Pouch will be secured to your Beed Trinkkittz, under your Quality Armor. Your ready money you put in the fancy Bajjur bawbag that you baited them with the last time. You wear it different this time: shorten the sling, wear it openly over your belly. You dare them to steal it. Just to make it blatant, you paint a skull in brown over the chest and belly of your Quality Armor, where the Bajjur Bawbag is hanging. You're not sure how many Rheas are worth 1 measure of Living Men's Blood, but let them Rheas try you again and you'll both find out.°°°You figger that near dinner time again is good to visit. They set store by nice dinners, and you want to spoil it. You also figger that these Meadow Folks won't have Dark-Peek, so Night's better for YOU.For this, you prime Moar Oww as a distraction, hiding in the treeshade." if yez hear this wissil, *HEEEET*, or seez zapzaps n shouting in the camp, come out and juzt walk through va middl ovvit. Scare their tonkers orf so I'z can geddout. Savvy?"• Your language is atrocious where not foul. Perhaps if you applied yourself you would not be such a pox to hear. •"Psh! Layder! You gotva plan??"• Yes •"Gudd! Mm orf! Fagg."
You say nuffin, letting the clatter of your Quality Armor announce you.As you pass, you grab whatever good eats you see out of their hands n cram it or swigg it.>nyarmarmarmarm >urrp>glepglepglepglepAHHNo chance of poison at least in the first several minutes of shock. You pack two full dinners in your belly, veggy numgies, stacked ribbz, Anna whole cauldron of stoo to-go. Shame you have to share sum with Gui Li, but waddahell.You head for the BeerBoss' stall again, knowing he's one of the feevz. You know Dragg Lord's probably got more rank, but eing completely predictable and obvious is a flex and a trap. The beer stall's still here, still up. Different Rhea minding the till, younger, maybe dumber than the BeerBoss, but taller and stouter, by Rhea standards; almost a malnourished Dorf size. Two other yobs with the same look lurk nearby, their hands under the table or behind their backs, watching without looking. They ain't your match if it comes to killykilly; probs they're just stalling for their Roogz n Droodz to get in position. You're not pressured: even theys Roogz n Droodz will need some time to find their ballz, and when they do try yer they'll either gitt gibbt, or be too busy keeping their frenz n famblys from bleeding out to catch YOU."Wotcher, free-fourfs. You know me. Wanna talk tuva BeerBoss. Whurreeat.""Tunner Aldan's off sick. So convenient, lal On account of you, baddie. Give me a reason why I shouldn't box you.""Cuz dat will leave yez one less hand to wank wiv, dumdum. Same goes for everwun hearen this n hidy theys hands. Meanen yez, yez, yez, yez. " Nobody moves or breathes, all acting like they're not the one. You growl and slowly reach for the biggy spearhead across your back. Sicky's already out and lurken under yez raggy cloak. Before your hand reaches the prop sord, their hands appear: flat on the table, at their sides or laps, palms out. Some you hadn't pegged have their hands raised halfway up, clearly cucked.The yob standing in for BeerBoss has lost some color."Va BeerBoss ran a scam on me day fore last. Vat's ten Zilverz n eyyteen Grainz. Now I'z here to run one too. Yer va BeerBoss, today, lukky yew. Dat means I run yew. "He's half expecting sumn, but you're still faster: Sicky swings from below, outward, then in, hooking his neck from behind. He hastily leans forward over the bar as you pull Sicky in." Givvus all yez Zilvaz.""Goodsir Traveller! We haven't got any!"" Yez took plenty frum me. Plenty more from uvvaz. Wherez it oll.""Gone donated and spent sir! For a just cause!""Den I might jezt guttz yez fer yer bludd, juzt 'cuz.""Is there anything else wanting! W-we'll accommodate!"You're about to say "yer mam n yer ziz", but you reconsider. You can just grab puzzy. You need fings made."Want threddz, blangz n drippz. Gotteny."
>EXTORTAN>2 degrees of successFor most of the night till midnight the Rheas get you sorted, per request: they dress you, teach you to bathe, 1-2 pattyface makeup; just foundation. No one tries to slice you or zap you or poison you. They listen to what you want and do their best, anything to get rid of you."If yez fix me ter look a twat to peepl, Mm killen a Hunnerd Rheas dedd. Might not be yez, but it will be a hunnerd 'a yez." They got your message already, but beheadden a dedd horse stops it rizzyrectum.[NEW THREDDZ GETTY]FREE:>cheap puff-fume and clogglunggz>talcam n pattyface powder>proppa bathy soaps n bathy cloffsTWO DEGREE OF SUCCESS EXTORTAN[CHOOSE TWO]>Sets of Formals (weddnz n funnylalz) (n posh folks, mebbe)>Sets of Mercantines (marts n trades)>Sets of Roog Amblers (Guilds n Murkers)>Set (1) of Droody "Pied Brett": a holly green mantle closed with purple rope, luxurious material (Circles and Ordinaries)All these have the same likelihood of failure even in their favored domains. What they give YOU is at least superficial access and the chance to attempt a Bluff.in 40hrs, Seafood looks at the Trash Intel to decide wat do + set off>>6107724 >>6107712 >>6107698
>>6108556>>Sets of Mercantines (marts n trades)>>Sets of Roog Amblers (Guilds n Murkers)
>>6108556>Sets of Mercantines (marts n trades)>Set (1) of Droody "Pied Brett": a holly green mantle closed with purple rope, luxurious material (Circles and Ordinaries)
>>6108556>Sets of Roog Amblers (Guilds n Murkers)>Set (1) of Droody "Pied Brett": a holly green mantle closed with purple rope, luxurious material (Circles and Ordinaries)
You tromp off into the darkness towards Moar Oww's position, hauling two battered suitcases.The bigger one, canvas with cardboard backing, holds your noice new Mercantines, clothes n shoes n workbibs as any respectable trader, chandler, or crafthand might present. The shoes were more difficult to make: they had to get larger sizes then trim down the sides, on account of Gobby toes having one more joint than theirs. The other suitcase, smaller, crumbly leather with brass bits, holds the hats, bathy things, kus-kus smaels, pattyface, and the spiffy Drood dudz. Up close it looks kindy shabby and old, just well cleaned, but you've no doubt that you'll look soopa cash flashing this. People will just get out your way from respect without you needing to waste effort threatening them. You're not sure what you might do if they ask you Droody stuff, but you'll figger it out.You're fairly certain no one's trailing you, but to make sure you get Moar Oww to help you check once you're deeper innawoodz.Moar Oww floats up a bit, just below the treetops, and does its thing 120' Complete Dark vision + {Detect Living}, scanning the surrounds in a widening spiral.When you feel safe enough you *HEEEEET* it back, start stowing your extorts inna Pouch, and stock up on Ceremonying Gui Li. Get it over with while you're rested. Seafood's going to come here in a few hours; the next week might be busy. °°°He's gotten fatter. You don't point it out but he has. Must be the cushy living. You envy him. You keep the impulse to rob him as far deep inside as you can; if he sees it on your face you're going to suffer for it.He's got new duds too: peasanty travel clothes, a floppy hat, a whistle on a chain, and two foody bags. You already know he's not sharing.He takes in your report, looking over your fresh lewts his eyes flash at seeing the Druid "Pied Brett", and he touches it; it's on his mind to rob you. But he doesn't.. Then you tell him about using the zappies in the Beed Trinkkittz to get into the Dorfy Fort. This gets his interest.You sweep all the trashed papers you swotted from the Dorfy Sitch Room onto the floor Seafood glances at the squatty pinnup; he looktidder tiddz, lal and get to uncrumpling them in a spread.Most of it is in Dorfish, which Seafood doesn't know yet. Some are missives or order chitties, written in Humie or Rhea; these he can make out. There are also rough maps of the area and the land beyond the Foit Ground.He sits some Times sitting n finking while you and Moar Oww keep perimeter. Reffijjee stragglers, for the most part. A food wagon train under Humie and Rhea escort. The reffijjee Rheas don't touch the food wagins, since these have to be signed over to the Dorf Fort; they don't steal if it gets their own in trouble. They wait until someone else is responsible. Then all the sossijjiz go missing.Liddle shits.
>>6109690i nearly thought the bolders got to you haha
>>6109692not yet not yetjust bit busywritan in an hour
°°°Gore Walker looked at the rough hand-drawn map, walking the land in his mind.The largest Tower symbol, marked 11, was the near-center of the map. This was the outpost of the stout soldiery, "Dwarves".There were other , roughly following the trade road, facing the forests North; these were containment positions. Triangles on squares represented villages; two together represented towns; crossed out meant destroyed.Behind the line formed by the Towers, close by Towns, were enclosed (½)s, followed by (𐤲) or (ꕤ), often both, with numbers.In the empty land between the forests and the Towers, and in some of the crossed out villages and towns, were a few ( }|{ ), sometimes accompanied by dates and numbers, or (‽).The forests had many more ( }|{ ), drawn larger, undated; bigger numbers.Some small 𐤲 and ꕤ in the forests, with dates, no numbers.A Rhean shadow war was being fought under the whiskers of the Dwarves; they knew of it, yet kept abreast, committed to a superficial peace. The point of the Rhean Underground was to make occupation untenable for the }|{, to force them into open counter-action, thereby forcing the Dwarves to commit themselves and act.The question for Gore Walker was, where to place his ( )[ROUTE CHOICE]>Among the Dwarves; continue along the traderoad through the line of . Safest in terms of having the fewest active belligerents; most troublesome in having to contend with... bureaucrats.>Among the Rheas; reach out to the Underground of ½𐤲ꕤ, possibly obtain smuggle routes in exchange for... services>Among the }|{ ; their public image is poor at present, even if they have made successful occupation on most fronts. They should be happy to take in... public sympathisersnote: there will be opportunities later for anons who want to drive up the conflict[ROLL]>2D1000>1 vs Gui Li; DC 660>2 gen>>6109692>>6108595>>6108577>>6108563if I get 3 replies within 20hrs, I can get back to writan quickly.Sorry for shortpost; need anons to chart course.
>>6109767whoops.Dwarven Tower symbol was supposed to be a Black Rookπ_π_π[HHH]WW//MM[HHH]Yang Wuhan's personal was supposed to be a ( 8∆8 ) [][][]
>>6109770verdamnt this place eats symbols
Rolled 676, 665 = 1341 (2d1000)>>6109767>Among the Rheas; reach out to the underground of ½𐤲ꕤ, possibly obtain smuggle routes in exchange for... services
>>6109767>Among the Rheas; reach out to the Underground of ½𐤲ꕤ, possibly obtain smuggle routes in exchange for... servicesBest learning oppoetunities.
Rolled 408, 593 = 1001 (2d1000)>>6109887Dice roll vots eated.
Rolled 111, 112 = 223 (2d1000)>>6109887i might aswell agree>Among the Rheas; reach out to the Underground of ½𐤲ꕤ, possibly obtain smuggle routes in exchange for... services
>>6109890wow almost double trips
Rolled 536 (1d1000)>Bo3 676 vs Gui Li 660>she chickens out last minute>Dysfunctional Marriage remains DC 660>QM rollan for Rhean Underground
>>6109908>Seafood Bo3 665>Rhean Underground 536>PASS>+1 DEGREE OF SUCCESSWritan in 12 hrs>>6109888 noice
You smell burning and snap back to look. Most of the smoothed out papers are curling into ash. Only some sheets and the Dorf Diary segment in Seafood's hands are spared. You suppose they'll suffer the same once he's twigged what they contain."Tudi. Bring out the Tomb Serf. We are going." Without any other instruction he gets up and starts walking vaguely South.You hurry Moar Oww into the Pouch, then hurry again ahead of Seafood to get the big fat woman Dummy out the Pouch.She already has a harness strapped on, with a small chair tied on and a brolly in a holdyhole. You crouch a little and clasp your hands to give Seafood a leg-up.He steps on your hands, then face, then the Dimmy's forearm, on which he gets lifted to the shoulder and the babby seat just behind.You know full well he doesn't need to do this, or to do it this way, but he will. You don't bother asking where you're going, and why Southerly, when Binny Land's East and North. You just tromp along, ready for orders.It saves time and thrashings.°°°When you hit a forest road again after several days Seafood gets off his Dimmy ride."Tudi. The Mundane clothes you stole. Wear them." You get to it quickly: a water douse and gargle, quick scrub with soap and dirty rags, a wipe-off with clean rags, then on with the Mercantines. You slap on and smooth the pattyface like the Rhea fitters taught you, then kus-kus your pits and crotch. The socks they give you are just old sweater sleeves sewn shut on one end, but they fit. You powder them with talcam; they said it helps against food itchies. You don't want those; you know at least two Gobbs wot lost toes to foot itchies they didn't; it was gangrene."Are you DONE yet. Vainpot sloth." You are done immediately. "Yerr, Sweetfudds. All gooded."Seafood looks you over. No compliments, no change in expression, just a sniff, and he's up and walking towards the road."Listen well. I am Beska, a Human orphan from Derrechston. You are my mute and slightly mentally ill adopted Uncle Oats, a Rhea... what skills do you have besides stealing and killing.""Nerrrr, I kin kludge, n sharpen sharpish, n do meat stitchens wivva hookneedle anna double shott hooch-""You are Uncle Oats, a Rhea Tinker-Barber, a refugee of Yarrowvale. Act stupid and mad, the quiet kind. Do not answer to anything; turn away and act frightened when strangers engage you."In front of strangers I will hold your hand; one press means turn left, two presses means right; long press means stop.""Which iz left?" This gets you a knuckle in the plexus. He keeps speaking over your nausea."This is your left. Dolt. If you're not sure, point with your other hand, slowly in a circle; I will press long for yes, rapid for no. Pretend to lead me. From time to time I will pretend to talk to you, and you will pretend to talk back. Do not reveal the Pouch, the Dagger, or use any Amulet unless I tell you. "
Rolled 2 + 5 (1d10 + 5)You give your shoes and Seafood's a brisk spit'n'polish, stow Moar Oww and the Dimmy, and you're off acting civilized.Barely an hour later you start meeting folks on the road, mostly Rheas, some Dorf n Humies, clearly outsiders, but fitted the Rhea fashion: waistcoats, calf trousers, sandals, long curvy baccy pipes with white clay or ivory bowls. The Dorfs still wear armor, but not a full set: just chestplate, metal hats, and hobnail boots, and even the chestplate looks like a waistcoat.These accepted outsiders don't get their money stolen and have learned not to carry good food around Rheas, just enough Graincoin to buy from day to day. They're small trade officers or chandlers, going by the pocket ledgers they carry. Probably deal goods and tools from Dorf and Humie towns for tea and baccy here.You act like Seafood told you, face down, shying away when anyone says hello. Seafood, "Beska", answers and explains for you in Humie Common:You're a kindly boffer by-passing wot took her in after the Bad Happening at Derrechston, taught her Tinkery and Barbery on the way to your hometown of Yarrowvale. The Myrmids tui! Stickbug scum! razed Yarrowvale one day before you were due to reach it, and you escaped only after three days and nights without water or fire, evading the swarm detachments. The experience left YOU, Uncle Oats, with a "Bit of a Turn", and now you, that is, "Beska" hoping your old smuggler stories are true, are heading to Whythistle. Seafood sells the sob story like a Boss, while you just look as fried as possible. It works: people just look at you and wag their heads now. At the next rest stop you get a quarter wedge of cold pie amazing what they can do with shroomz n mutton gristle and a half pint of bitter ale for Second Breakfast.>kek>sukkaz°°°Being in a traveller train in Rhea country meant that there's no big fights. No beasties or bandits or the like. Just the occasional scuffle over food. In under two weeks you're at a Town: Whythistle. A little bigger than plague Town, a lot livelier, being mostly Rhea. Seafood gets the both of you a bedsit off someone's recommendation: the upstairs of an older widow cousin, simple first breakfast with drip-hickory beggar's coffee and three days bed for a handful of Graincoin. Seafood tells you to behave while here, then lets you rest up to the beginning of moon-up (5-6pm). "Tudi. Wash and dress in new clothes. We are paying a visit."You notice that Seafood never washes. Accherly, he doesn't sweat at all; you don't smell much from him. He doesn't pee r poop neeva; he never has. Maybe when there's a plausible reason to ask, you might. Scrubbt and kitted up again, you get your Moron Face on. Seafood gives you a final briefing before opening the door."We go to a Thieves' Den. If anything goes wrong, fight your way out and come back here. Or to the pony market.""Gaddit."
Whythistle's Mart Street starts big, wends a little before becoming a square, then parts three ways. Since it's evening, the three ways are quiet. The daytime businesses of Mart Square have mostly been given over to vending eats and drinks. You want to try some of everything, but Seafood keeps pointing you forward, so you leave be for now. You're not real hungry, just greedy.The middle branching way after the Square is the widest and longest: most of the Humie and Dorfy stores are here; chandlers and outway goods.The righty way is wrights and turners; big crafts at the front, services the midst and the end.The lefty way's shortest, looks like fine living: curers and bakers at the front, vinters and confections at the end.You take the middle by Seafood's leading, leaving the cookfires and happy chatter of the Square behind. No one's open, of course. Maybe a few stores doing a late stock-count or packing. Everyone wants to finish up and hurry off to dinner.Except the umbrella maker. Waxpaper or proofed canvas umbrellas in erronwood still on display at the shopfront; inside, rainhides for persons and wagons; parafine wax, mulberry paper and branches, sneezy smallcures. It doesn't smell like it has thieves in it: no burnt leather, rust powder, iron, mineral oil with soot in. The place smells like it... makes brollies: waxpaper, paint, stripped wood and glue. And the noseclot of peppermint, from the smallcures.Seafood leaves you by the door to drool, goes in by himself. The tillkeeper is a half-old middleaged Rhea male, bottle-end glasses, beard, sharp eyes under a bored look. He spares one glance at you, focuses on Seafood.Seafood picks, in order: a glass tub of brown smallcure, brown safflower tun, the smallest roll of mulberry paper."Do you have cane," he asks the tillkeep."Making an umbrella." says the tillkeep. Not ask, says. You gently paw your crotch, staring at the wall, listen. "Making a kite. For when the rain stops.""Need string.""No. Just cane. Contsie or batarba, if you have it.""Heavy for a kite.""It's a big one.""Got some catlock to clear; half price.""No. For contsie I'll pay full." So saying Seafood lays out some Grain coin, one with a melted side.The tillkeep paperbags the goods, Seafood takes it, not a second glance, comes out.>dafugg dat aboutBut you don't ask. He takes your hand and leads you.While you're in an alleyway cutting into the lefty branch he starts rummaging the paperbag. There's something extra wrapped in paper that he didn't buy: a dark wooden coin. looks heavy, maybe lead-bedded. There's a ( ⁜ ) on one side, a ( ÷ ) on the other. "Well done, Tudi. You are in your element, acting the dullard. Keep it up.">nerr>fanks?>I guess?The wrapping paper has something short written on. He reads it, crumoles it. The paper wrap crinkles black in his hands, which he wipes on your shoulder.>h-HEY!>dis wuz clean!"Come. We are close."
The lefty branch has shophouses for shops, quite poshy looking, selling baccy and booz, the good stuff. The sellers continue until about the middle of it, then the cobbles turn nicer and bigger, and the shophouses become just houses, a compact terrace row.Seafood counts out the houses, waits at one particular side door. When a gruff Rhea housemaid opens it, he palms her the wood token.She secrets it, giving YOU an ugly look as she does. "Using children now. Beast."You want to sock her, but Seafood's pinching the back of your hand, so you keep your Moron Face on.She hurries you both in, bolts the door. The back and frame are iron.•••She leads the two of you into a coal cellar, another iron door leading downwards, then a narrow brick tunnel. She passes you what the Rheas call a Thief's Teacup: a lidded tin cup with a hole cut out the front, so that the candle or oil wick inside projects a beam just forwards, leaving the user's eyes partially adjusted to the dark. You don't need it, having Dark-Peek, but you leave it on.When you reach the other end, another iron door, Seafood knocks. An eye-slot opens."Pretrichor," says Seafood. The slot closes, the door opens.So this is a Thieves Den. Bare walls and floors, wood furniture. Card and dice gambling is happening here and there, with sandwich components for ante. There's drinks being served from a small bar; no ale or beer, only clear shots from dark green bottles. Smells like mealy apples. You're under watch the moment you're through the door. Unlike the reffijjees of Camp Everdote, they don't hide that they're watching, or that they're armed. One of them, the doorwatcher, points you to a table at the far end of the cellar. There's a Rhea sitting at it. You see his eyes without meeting them. He's Fighty for sure.
Before Seafood can reach the table the Fighty Rhea addresses YOU."That's an old watchword you gave. Who gave it to you."You have no idea what to say. You glance at Seafood, to find him giving you a hard look. You remember your briefing and start to tremble visibly. You make a face like you're about to cry and pull your hood up, turning away.Seafood comes in close, patting your back, whispering."Good. When I next whisper to you, mumble and gesture. I will press your hand for you to stop."You nod several times, hamming full retard.Out loud Seafood addresses the ThiefBoss. "Sorry sir, but my 'dopted Uncle Oats' had a Bit of a Turn since Yarrowvale. We got the watchword from Clettennoak Haybarrow of the Everdote Haybarrows. He said we can give it if help was ever wanted on our way.""Hmph. Everything's short and bare these days. What help can we spare you? But speak. Clettennoak's proven, even if his mother isn't.""Oh no sir. We're here to ask you. Do you want out help, since we're passing this way."You can feel their eyes peel."You? Beg pardon little miss Twiceling, but what can you do?""I can't much, except what Uncle Oats taught me: a little Tinkery and Barbery, enough to shave a Grain. But me Uncle Oats has got a vewwy spuhsfic set of skews, that makes him a nightmare for baddies like the Sticks tui!. Everyone follows almost reflexively, showering the ground with phlegm.The ThiefBoss looks YOU over, so you cringe and whimper believably. You've had lots of practice, everytime Seafood tells you to "Come. Here.""Him? He can't kill a curry.""He's bloody murder he is! A right artist wivva noif!">ey yo waddafugg"Sure he is.""I'll show you! He'll show you! Who here's good wivva blade?"Several smirks light up; Roogs.Seafood looks through them, points one out. Slim, for a Rhea. Two knives visible in the belt, identical; probably has two more.Seafood pops the tinny of safflower tun waxy waterproofing paint, dips your thumbs in, then the slim Rhea's thumbs. "Your thumbs are now knives! Uncle Oats! Mister! When I drop my hand, you try to smudge each other's clothes! The first to smudge thrice wins! Readyyyyy!"The Rhea moves in before Seafood's arm is fully down, but so do you. This isn't a real fight, nothing's on the line, so you go all in SUICIDEY.You dropping into Stance makes him miss his cheapshot, and you close distance in one move, Parting Litter, and you're already on him: heel heel kneeback kneeback hip - he spins, trying to slash your back, and you follow his movement, out of reach - hip bellycrossandup armpit - he tucks and tumbles, trying to get clear of you - and you follow his trajectory, scuttling under him.He slashes as he does. You're not sure he got you: you didn't feel anything, so it might have been just paint being flung off, spatting your shirt front. But you definitely get him: wrist elbow neck neck face.
Rolled 1 (1d2)Your momentum crossing his throws both of youEveryone in the room is on their feet. Lots of knives out. Seafood's grinning.Slim has one knife half out his belt. Both of yours are under his jaw, your nails digging in. His face is all smeared with safflower tun."yew roont mah shirt. My shirt wuz kleen." Ooh you are SO mad. Whatever smudges you got from Seafood are going to get taken out on him."It'll wash. Ey, ease up eh, Oats. You've showed your chops.""It wuz paint. Paint ztainz." Your claws dig. SO mad."Ey, ey! Cmoan! I got coupons for Prestie's Laundry! Fully clean for five Grains per garment, or your clothes back!"Seafood chips in."Unca Oats, please let him go. We'll take the coupons. Clean it all up nice. See, mister? Unca Oats is COOL!"You let up, because Seafood spoke. Because everyone is now looking at you, you crouch and cower, drawing your hood over your face.If ThiefBoss has doubts about Seafood's story they are outweighed by how useful YOU might be. "Short and bare, like I said. So happens we do need ...help. There is a-"ThiefBoss cuts himself off, because Seafood is whispering to you. You pretend to whisper back, twiddling your fingers, pointing randomly, while Seafood nods and smiles encouragingly. You're starting to enjoy yourself when Seafood presses your palm hard enough to leave a bruise.So you stop."Unca Oats says he wants free and fast passage to Elven Lands."ThiefBoss takes a minute. "That way is long. Passing through-""How many jobs is that worth."ThiefBoss bites his cheek."Let's start with one."[WHICH]>RAID>The building of new Myrmid forward post has been observed>Hiving activities have begun>Undo this.>RELIEF>Supply attempts across the warzone have been harried by aerial Myrmid squadrons>Secure the convoy, break the choke>RECON>Scouts have reported possible locations of the Myrmid's so-called Ancient Hives>Discover and penetrate these locations>If fake, expose.>If real, destroy.[SUPPORT?]Due to 1degree of success, QM rollan 1d2 for number of Support Operators YOU may bring. >Bring Support Operators Y/N[ROLL]>5D100, all for Mission>will +15 for first and second roll, since Sneekibreeki is involved[BALANCE SHEET] >Stuffs §2086.5 >Grains Ꮆ788 - 7 for lodging>Ꮆ781>Silver Pieces Ᵽ$617 >82 Dedder Dusts >5 Dimm Cult >Toady 16/16HP >Quality Kludge Armor 15/15Dur >OR Light Kludge Armor 8/8 >[Helff Swigga] 5/6 gluggz >Bluddslutt needs 23LM to revive [BONUSES] >+15 Sneekibreeki >+15 Gen vs Rhea Civilians >+7 vs Rhea Adventurers >>6109893>>6109888>>6109781>>6108563>>6108577>>6108595
Rolled 100, 51, 15, 8, 74 = 248 (5d100)>>6110677>RECON>Scouts have reported possible locations of the Myrmid's so-called Ancient Hives>Discover and penetrate these locations>If fake, expose.>If real, destroy.[SUPPORT?]>Bring Support Operators Ysure
>>6110715>100i finally did it
>>6110716obligatory>blyyyyat
Rolled 50, 24, 39, 90, 4 = 207 (5d100)>>6110677>RECON>Bring Support Operators NoI don't doubt they would have order to keep an eye on us and keeping up the act would make things harder
Rolled 56, 28, 3, 87, 14 = 188 (5d100)>>6110677>RECONNyerr. Ancient places have good goodies.
Rolled 1, 93, 81, 90, 95 = 360 (5d100)>>6110677>RECON>Go alone
Rolled 25, 7, 9, 66 = 107 (4d100)>>6110989
>5D100 Bo3>100, 51, 39, 90, 74> - , 25, 7, 9, 66>No Rhea Operator Support needed, kthnxThe Rhean Underground has three main branches of operations: the Butchers, the Bakers, and the Candlestick Makers.The first one is where the fightiest ones are: killy-spec Roogz, Beastmode Droodz, Sniper Rangers. Your kind of peepl. So-named because they see blood and sell meat: earn their budget allocation through bounty and pillage. Given how Weak Rhea usually are, these usually involve ambush and unequal numbers. For some reason Rhea are squeamish about poisoning food and water.Bakers are liars: information and disinformation. Mostly Scout- or Spah-spec Roogz, Landstrider-spec Droodz n Rangers, and Bards for some reason. A few capable Illusionists and Bards make up the leadership; that's all most know.The Candlestick Makers is where they send YOU, with a small square of leather burned on one side with the sign on the ThiefBoss' ring, the other side ( !iji! ).•••Seafood had left the choice of which mission to take up to you, and you picked the one about reported locations of Ur-Myrmid hives. There's some big argument going on between the Rheas and the Bugs about land, and right now the Bugs are claiming dibs by Right of Conquest and by Historic Rights. YOUre not sure why anything apart from Right of Conquest matters; it's a Weak Race thing. But your hyperspecialized brainbulbs lit up when ThiefBoss said the Bugs' claim of Historic Right was based on New™ Discovered™ Ancient™ Cities™. Ancient Cities! Dat meant lewts dunnit? N traps not the nice kind n cults n fings, 'course, but PHAT LEWTS! While you were a grubb you've seen Ancient Someplace just appear overnight when and where no one's looking GS canon; the DM/Player called Chance just generated a Dungeon. Every goblin just accepted the appearance of these Places as natural weirdness, like lightning, or ocean waves, or how you allus pee when you poop but never poop when you pee. Goblins avoided exploran, because traps cannot be cheated, and in closed unfamiliar corridors there's no hiding; gobbs usually don't run fast enough or hit hard enough to beat whatever Lurkz in there.Adventurers love these Ancient Someplaces, and you, like every goblin, resent that they can just march in with their shiny gear and overpowered cheaty zappyzaps, and come out richer with shinier gear and zappyer zappies. You feel entirely justified if a party of Fighty Ones go in an Ancient Someplace, get thrashed to fugg, all zappies and helff gluggz used up, barely escape, only to get rippt n ræpt by a mobb of gobbs. Completely fair. Why should theys get it all juzt bcuz they wuz born tall, knowing words, having spiff kit and zappyzaps? Why not you? Why NEVER you? Why never YOU?Like hell you're passing up a chance for real good goodies, even if the ThiefBoss thinks it's most likely faked noiz.Yez not lissnin, bcuz PHAT LEWTZ
You don't actually find the Candlestick Makers place; you barely got the directions down.It's the smell that twigged you: from three buildings in all directions you pick up whiffs of BOOMputty.It smells complicated. There's rust and spark mettl and all kinds of rare stuff in there. Another clue is how all the houses in three directions are empty and quiet, and this one house in particular has all new brick, no paint, no plastry. Gotta be it.You go to the side door, knock the special way they told you.>tap-taptaptaptap-tap>taptaptaptap-tap>tap-taptaptapThe door opens a few inches, revealing multiple door chains. You smell cannon powder, tasteless dry grime.You pass the leather square in. The door closes. While waiting you observe: the heaviest BOOMputty smell seems to come from upstairs lose just the top floor instead of the whole building if something overcooks , sweaty eggy smell; the windows are opaque paned with grills underneath; soot blooms and cracked plastry on the neighboring wall. Your package gets slid out the door, quickly yet gingerly. Two heavy unmarked unlabled palletwood boxes, generously padded outside and in with straw.They don't tell you to be careful. You don't want to Pouch or {POPUP} where you can't be sure no one's watching, so you hup it by hand back to the attic room Seafood rented. When you get around to Pouching it, you take a good look: big brown-red toobz, wrapped in stamped baking paper: HMX His Majesty's eXplosive, or HiMaX; a Gnomic patent, in plain black block letters. This stuff's got more BOOM in it than the one you planted in the Cherch stove back in Plague Town; you can smell the yellow in it. It's sweating a little too, something that smells kindy soapy fatty. That's how you know it's gooood.>HiMaX GETTY>(3/4' x 1") sticks>3 x 4 in a box>2 boxes>= 24 sticksYou have to go to secondary Candlestick Maker sites to get the wires and detonators, for safety reasons: copper wire and spike-pegs from a musette midget box piano tuner's, a box of extremely fat, bright yellow citron from a specialist grocer's under counter.You marvel at how sour it smells, even at arm's length. This can't possibly be edible. The grocer glares at you, quietly frantic."Don't take it out in public you fool! Cover it up and go!"You do as he says, not even mad. When you refused Rhea Operator Support, one of Chai Gravyrun's doodz briefed you on how to set up the high-yield boomcandles you'll be using.The SOCOM Citron was the detonator.
12-14 hours to next postbusy
Rolled 24 (1d100)1-35
