You find yourself in a dim, dank cave with no memories and nothing but the clothes on your back.This sucks. You would really like to get out of here.You see a pool of stagnant water, a large metal box with a heart on it, and a comically large floppy disk. There's a door, but it's too high up to reach.What do?
>>6091822>Check for a hole in the ceiling.Did we fall in?
>>6091822This looks like a Cave story quest...>Examine the metal box and floppy disk
>>6091822>Take off shirt, ball it up, throw it at the batsThey'll know what to do once you wake them up
are you the guy who made that west of loathing quest
>>6091921shut up bitch
>>6091855Doesn't look like it. Actually, you get the impression that someone dumped you in here like old junk.
>>6091875The metal box is a standard-issue general repair pack, stuffed with nanobots that'll instantly repair any damage to your chassis. The floppy disk is a single-use recovery unit that restores a backup of yourself should you perish. Looking at it fills you with determination.
>>6091892You successfully piss off the bats. They fly around squeaking and shrieking at you.>>6091921Yes.What do?
>>6091875>This looks like a Cave story quest...Cool.>>6092140>scan one of the nanobots contained in the metal box>record a blueprint of the floppy diskJust in case we're able to make more of these later. A vial of those nanobots could come in handy.>break off a stalagmite to use as a makeshift club until a better weapon is found.
>>6092148>Create lasso out of compressed stone moss>Wrangle some bats together with your shoelaces>Use them to fly to the door
>>6092154You inspect every inch of the nanobots and floppy disk. Sadly, you lack the ability to reverse-engineer them.
>>6092165You expertly weave a rope of cave moss and shoelace, then use the bats to fly upwards to freedom.
Armed with a stalagmite club, you enter a new room.To the right is a brick wall. It looks weak, but a few taps from your club show you might need some more firepower to get through.To the left is a tunnel filled with spiky death traps and annoying bats. This would be a big problem if it weren't for your metroidvania chip, which provides all sorts of useful subroutines for anything a jumping, shooting, exploring protagonist like yourself might need.Platforming: 1What do?>Go through the tunnel (roll 1d20, DC 5-1)>Something else?
>>6092187>Inspect the spiky trapsIf they're brittle, we could probably throw stones to break them down and minimize the risk of injury.
>>6092185also what a horrible thread to be colorblind and not know what color the spikes areI guess we need a better weapon, go look for an old person to steal from
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>6092187>B-Hop over the rocks >360 No-Scope the spikes>Activate walls>Crouch, sneak up on a bat and score a melee kill
>>6092194You smash one of the spiky things with a rock. It shatters into large, sharp needles. It looks like these might be some sort of crystalline growths.The needles are still too sharp to handle with your bare hands, so you leave the pile of poky crystals as it is.
>>609220116/4 - Success! You fear neither spike nor bat.
>>6092198At the end of the tunnel is a door, which you enter. You see a old man sleeping in a humble little cave shack. There's a workbench nearby with a shiny new gun sitting ripe for the taking - you could easily sneak past the man and steal it.What do?
>>6092350>Gently wake the man up and politely ask if we can have the gun
>>6092363"Whazzat... blurgh... I'm up, I'm up... GAH!"The man jumps up in shock."You're one of those soldiers from the surface! Dammit, I came here to get away from you bastards! Don't get close or I'll blast you to shrapnel!"
>>6092379>Don't get close (or he'll blow us) >From afar, use mimicry and charades to tell him that we'd like to borrow his firearm
He checks his pockets, but realizes he left his gun in his other pants.You attempt to speak reason to the frightened man...[ERROR]You jump in place and stare at him blankly. Guess they didn't have enough storage space for both sick platforming skills and the ability to talk.The old man is about to dart for the gun on the workbench, but he notices you doing absolutely nothing."Ehh... you good there, bud?"
>>6092382You perform an intricate interpretive dance to communicate your desire for his gun, and not the one he'd blow you with."You... you want that gun? First of all, I refuse to help any of you marauding rustbuckets; you've done enough damage to this place already. Shouldn't you have your own gun anyway? This one isn't even done yet."What do?
>>6092383>>6092387Looks like we need to gain the trust of this man, somehow.>to help any of you marauding rustbucketsPoint to our own head and shrug while we shake our head and right. This should communicate that we don't remember anything. Fold out pockets inside out to show him that we are unarmed. I know this is a Cave Story parody, but maybe we can get some interesting additional context.
>>6092397"Hm. So... you're saying you... lost your programming? Your, um, memory? And you don't have a gun or any of your equipment."He contemplates something."Hm. Well. I have to say, you're awfully docile for a military android. Normally you'd have put a round through my skull by now.""Tell you what... I'll loan you one of my guns for the moment, just to defend yourself from those critters out there. But you'd better bring it back. And don't blame me if you use it wrong! A man should only ever use a weapon that he crafted himself - that's the only way he'll ever truly know a gun."
You got the SNAKE. It shoots through walls! Otherwise it's just kind of an okay gun. What do?
>>6092408Cross our heart to show that we promise, nod to thank the man, then make our way out. Take a look at our surroundings afterward.
>>6092413You give the old man a thumbs up and a pinky promise.Outside are just the same old bats, spikes, and funny little frog-like critters. You slaughter them with your new Snake. What fun!
You head back up to the unsteady bricks and attempt an escape.The Snake goes through walls. Unfortunately, it seems to go through this wall as well.What do?
>>6092421keep shooting, there must be some evil force behind this wall that's keeping it up, like a long corridor of flying enemies in a room that also has falling blocksprobably not though, thank god we'll never have to deal with that shit
>>6092450Pew pew pew! You hear the guttural squealing of critters dying horribly to your ruthless assault. You also hear the critically endangered Door Mimic species going extinct once and for all.Then all is silent. Through the wall, you can faintly make out the sound of two people arguing about something, but it seems very far away.What do?
>>6092455fuckwe didn't save yetreset and that other gun from the old man instead of the snake, then come backeither that or try digging under the wall with our hands
>>6092455Pick up those shiny things the dead critters dropped and try loading those into your gun, but don't force them in.
>>6092466>reset and that other gun from the old man instead of the snake, then come backI'd hate to take advantage of the guy after lending us a gun despite understandably being suspicious at first.>either that or try digging under the wall with our handsI prefer this option, or trying the ancient art of "no clipping."
>>6092455Run into the door shoulder first at full speed to try and break it down
>>6092470Your organic biomass converter seems to be on the fritz. If it was working, all of these dead critters would explode into delicious doritos of pure energy at your touch.
>>6092475The ground is solid rock!You fire the Snake a few times at the ground, but nothing happens except some loud clattering and smashing noises, which is probably because you're shooting up the gunsmith's workshop just below. Oops.
>>6092475Noclipping is out of the question; you're no TASbot. You can barely accomplish a BLJ.>>6092466You decide to end it all. You go back to the room with a pool of water and stick your head in (and also move that box so you can get out without needing the bat elevator again).
You respawn. The experience is a lot like waking up from a dream where aliens abducted you, pulled your insides out through your anus, and replaced your guts with vacuum tubes.Your old body is lying in the pool, Snake still in holster. Your new body is noticeably snakeless.
use our bare hands to forcibly remove the fireball from the snakethis should give us the legendary spur^-1 which can easily break solid blocks
>>6092513You run into the wall and bruise your shoulder.You run into the door to the starting point and bruise your shoulder again. Not because the door didn't open, but because it did open and you fell eight feet onto a stone floor.You go back to the gunsmith's house and run into the door (which you forgot to mention has an awesome lion engraving around it), and bruise your shoulder. If you keep this up, you're not going to have a shoulder to bruise.A sticky note is attached to the gunsmith's door: "Out, buying spare parts".
>>6092584You wrench the Snake into its component parts. Metaphorically. It would be a lot better if you used a wrench, actually, because then you wouldn't have a Fireball and a useless mangled heap of scrap metal.You got the FIREBALL. It shoots fireballs!What do?
>>6092598try using our mind to MANIFEST a polar star from the heap of scrap metalif that doesn't work keep killing ourselves, we could probably use the infinite corpses to fill a pit so we could cross down
>>6092598>Roast a bat with the FIREBALL and eat it
>>6092612You attempt to use psychic powers to reassemble the Polar Pstar from the pscrap pmetal. It is unpsuccessful.You're out of floppy disks! Well, technically you could kill yourself again. It just wouldn't be very helpful.
>>6092629Every day you thank your creator for granting you the taste buds with which to enjoy an honest BBQ.
>>6092650>Create a pickaxe with bat bones
Wait, pickaxes, caves, crafting, blocks?Is this hit indie game under tale?
>>6092650>>6092764Well, there must be an alternate route somewhere if the gunsmith was out buying spare parts. That must lead to another town.
>>6092764>>6092854You craft a pickaxe and tunnel underneath the wall, just like your favorite metroidvania Undertale.
>>6092894You fall right into the gunsmith's house.He's not here, but you see no way he could have left if not through the front door, and then you would've seen him leaving. Strange...Also, for a guy who smiths guns, you see a distinct lack of guns to be smithed.What do?
>>6093079create our own gun, with blackjack but no hookerswe don't have time for bitches
>>6093091+1>>6093079>Screw his nuts
>>6093091>>6093096You craft the SCREWBALL.This device works on the ingenious combination of a rubber band, a flint striker, and loose gunpowder wrapped in a napkin. With this baby, you can propel a nut at lethal velocity, and you'll probably blow off your hand while doing so....Yeah, you're more of a user than a maker.What do?
>>6093393>taped on barrelbeautiful>Hunt down the guy that was sleeping>Show him the SCREWBALL
>>6093483You look for the old gunsmith in every nook and cranny. While searching, you accidentally knock over one of the tools on his workbench, but with a click! it opens a secret door like that scene in Monsters Inc.
Huh. He's a prepper.There's a teleporter with a linked terminal, lots of food, water, and medicine, and... holy CRAP that's a lot of guns.What do?
>>6093729>Shoot all of the other guns with the SCREWBALL>Eat an MRE (Can't be too hot or too cold, has to be just right)>Hop in the teleporter
>>6093729Check terminal for logs and shit before committing to destroying everything around you.
>>6093729>try out the guns and take the best ones
>>6094190You go through the huge pile of guns, and find one that speaks to your inner self.You got the MACHINE GUN. Its recoil is so strong you can actually fly with it! (Don't ask how the physics works.)The gunsmith, of course, has his own little shooting range. You can't find any ear protection, so you just remind yourself to swap out your tympanic membranes later.
>>6093929The teleporter is currently connected to somewhere called Grasstown. Some call it the Bushlands, but you refuse to acknowledge that as canon.The gunsmith only uses his computer to watch gun reviews and Primitive Technology videos.
>>6093782You crack open an MRE.Let's get this out onto a tray - nice. The instant coffee is strong, the dehydrated fruit is firm but not too chewy, and the pineapple beef spread is simply decadent. That really tastes like it's only about, say, eight years old.
>>6093782You test fire the Screwball and it suddenly stops being in your possession.
You're about to hop in the teleporter, but the gunsmith hops out of it first."Friggin' power plant robots... 'no spare parts' my ass. Can't they just gimme one of their useless junkbots collecting rust- HEY!"What do?
>>6094848Tell him to move over, it's our turn in the teleporter
I wonder what's happening in the egg chamber at this very moment of time, the back end of egg chamber, for no reason at all.sand zone too, also the back end, but specifically the warehouse, also for no reason at all
>>6094862You shove the gunsmith away and take your rightful place in the teleporter."You little punk! Get out of there!"The old man fires a shot from his gun, but he misses and hits his computer instead, inadvertently activating the teleporter.
>>6094922You know, it would be very interesting to see those places you don't know yet.But you'll have to settle for seeing a small stone room with no visible exits and a thick layer of moss.What do?
>>6095225Flip the switch!
>>6095292this
>>6095225This is boring when do we meet the tender and kind blonde robot with massive tits and no panties like the internet showed me.
>>6095736Don't worry, you'll be able to meet the robot waifu of your dreams eventually, and then steal her underwear.>>6095292>>6095293The walls open up, allowing you to exit into some sort of warehouse.An ocean of chewing gum lies before you. They've got spearmint, peppermint, cinnamon, watermelon, strawberry, bubblegum, gum sticks, gum tape, gum balls, and even novelty gum that tastes like earwax and stinkbug. You can feel your jaw aching just looking at it.Also, they put the gum in treasure chests for some reason.The door is slowly closing by itself. If you leave the gum warehouse, you won't be able to get back into that secret gunsmith's room.What do?
>>6095736why would you like the blond dumbass who acts as bait to steal your ultimate weapon ticket over the cool guy toaster
wait no one posted?uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh we've got shit to do so I'm gonna go left towards the start of the area we've got jellyfish to murder so we can get moving towards the plot
>>6095755Chew as much watermelon gum at once as possible. Blow a bubblegum balloon that takes us upwards and gives us a bird's eye view of the area.
>>6096330>>6096410You float gently out of the gum warehouse into the sprawling bushlands. You hear the stone blocks slamming shut behind you.Immediately below your feet is a huge pit full of those spiky deathtraps. You see fans scattered around the area, but they seem to be unpowered.Frogs, critters, bats, and weird tombstone-looking things made of mold(?) are plentiful, and quite aggressive. You'll need to clear them out with your Machine Gun or Fireball.Nearby is a tower with an ominous skull on it. A bit further are some ramshackle buildings: a house with a shattered window, a shack with a sweet hovercycle parked outside, a metal hut with a floppy disk sign, and some sort of power plant.There's a narrow tunnel at the far end of the bushlands. The aperture is too small and high up for you to float your balloon there. Perhaps turning on the fans would help?You check your stats...Platforming: 1 (no upgrades)Combat: 3 (Fireball +1, Machine Gun +1)HP: 8/8What do?>Go to the tower>Go to the broken house (roll 2d20, DC 3-1 and 5-3)>Go to the shack with a hovercycle (roll 2d20, DC 2-1 and 5-3)>Go to the save room (roll 2d20, DC 3-1 and 6-3)>Go to the power plant (roll 2d20, DC 2-1 and 8-3)>Try to jump from the bubble and dive into the tunnel (roll 2d20, DC 16-1 and 12-3)>Something else?
There's also an explosive missile sitting on a high block for some reason. If you fail to grab it, though, your bubble might pop and you'll fall right into the spikes!>Get the missile (roll 1d20, DC 13-1)
>>6096736>Go to the save room (roll 2d20, DC 3-1 and 6-3)>Go to the power plant (roll 2d20, DC 2-1 and 8-3)we can just do the missiles laterI can't even remember if turning on the robot needs the jelly but if it does we can probably just bs our way past it
>>6096736>Go to the save room (roll 2d20, DC 3-1 and 6-3>>Go to the broken house (roll 2d20, DC 3-1 and 5-3)
Rolled 5, 10 = 15 (2d20)>>6096752>>6096936You make your way to the save room...
Success!On the way there, you kill a frog and a couple of mold guys with your Fireball.Despite being a huge building, the save room is only about the size of a closet. There's a giant floppy disk and a health restore box, the former of which fills you with determination.
Rolled 4, 15 = 19 (2d20)>>6096936You make your way to the broken house...
Success!You blow another gum bubble and narrowly dodge a cloud of bats, landing gracefully in front of the house.This is an abandoned hut. Someone was living here very recently - there's some spilled food on the ground, and it hasn't gone bad yet. The former owner left behind a chest, probably full of cool free loot they wouldn't miss.You hear a sound from the fireplace.
Rolled 2, 15 = 17 (2d20)>>6096752You make your way to the power plant...
Success!You miss a jump and almost land face-first into a mold creature.The power supply room is a large metal room. Robots are lined up within wall cubbies; they are unpowered.There's a terminal on the far side reading:"Fan power supply offline. Malco power supply offline. Turn power on?"What do?
>>6097359whadda hell they flowerified chacotake the loot, obviouslyuse the pot in the corner to douse the fireplace before we go>>6097366clearly :)
>>6097366Turn it on!
>>6097390You go do this thing in the abandoned house before you go to the power supply room.You pick up the pot and, without looking, dump its contents into the fireplace. Good thing it wasn't lit, because the pot was full of firewood.You walk over to the chest and open it to reveal a single highly explosive missile. You don't have the necessary equipment to launch it, but maybe you could, I dunno, throw it at something.There's a sudden crash. You turn around and find that some sort of vicious little rabbit monster is lying in the heap of wood and struggling to get out of the overloaded fireplace. Spittle flies from its frothing, gnashing mouth as it gurgles in rage. Poor baby!What do?>Help the rabbit monster thing>Put it out of its misery>Attach a leash and keep it as a pet>Something else?
>>6097744>>Attach a leash and keep it as a petFriends 4 ever
>>6097805HP: 5/8You're a little scratched up by the rabid rabbit's claws, but you manage to wrangle an adorable new pet.
>>6097390>>6097443Okay, now you go turn the power on.The fans outside whir to life. One of the robots in here also jolts awake."INTRUDER SIGHTED! TERMINATE IMMEDIATELY!"For some reason, you're expecting a giant toaster-shaped guy to bust through the ceiling and land on the robot, but then you remember you haven't met anyone like that yet.What do?>Fight the robot (roll 1d20, DC 7-3)>Unleash the dogs (rabbit (singular)) of war>Something else?
>>6098234>Attempt robot to robot diplomacyshow him our cool missile, he looks like a guy who likes bombs
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>6098234>>Fight the robot (roll 1d20, DC 7-3)Mushing un
>>6098252Success!The robot fires lasers at you and throws small pellets that explode on impact, then he enters his second phase where he throws a big bomb at you that sends shockwaves across the boss arena. His music is really catchy too. You easily no-hit him, though, because it's only the first boss.>>6098247"WOW! YOU ARE TOO STRONG FOR ME! AND A FELLOW ROBOT, TOO? HOW STRANGE... WHAT'S A MILITARY ROBOT LIKE YOU DOING HERE?"Now that the robot has calmed down a bit, you show him the missile you found."OH! A MISSILE! THERE ARE ALL SORTS OF THESE LOOSE ARMS AND EXPLOSIVE SCATTERED WITHIN THESE CAVES, LEFT BY SOLDIERS FROM THE SURFACE. IT IS ALWAYS FUN TO BLOW THEM UP!!""YOU CAN SIMPLY SHOOT THEM, OF COURSE, BUT FOR ANY SORT OF CONTROL, YOU WILL WANT A MISSILE LAUNCHER! I BELIEVE THERE IS ONE IN THE EGG STORAGE CORRIDOR - HERE, I WILL AUTHORIZE A KEYCARD FOR YOU."The robot, whose name is Malco, gives you a teleporter keycard for the Egg Corridor. Robot solidarity for the win.What do?
>>6098559>Store rabbit friend in Malco's chassis>>6096736>Bubblegum float back to this locatipn and pick up the floppy dicks in the grass by the stones>Go to the building with the person crying for help (my bad if we've already been there)
>>6098626The rabbit doesn't seem to appreciate Malco's secure yet gentle grip.You save at the floppy disk hidden in the grass. Then you investigate the mysterious yelling crack in the mysterious rusty shack."Hey, kid! Can you help me? The door is locked and I can't get out! Here's a rusty key I found; go open the door for me!"You go to the shack's rusty door and insert the rusty key. Well, you would, but the rusty door contains no rusty keyhole."Is it the wrong key? There's another one hanging on the wall..."He gives you a key with a tag saying "Gum". Actually, you're pretty sure this key is for the gum warehouse and the rusty one is for the power supply room, which was unlocked before you got here. You perform some charades to indicate that both of these things are completely useless and are clogging up your inventory."First of all, rude. Second, what? No keyhole?? It must be rusted shut. There has to be a way to break through this door. I'm starving in here!"What do?
>>6099184>Kick over the tombstone with eyes and arms>Pry open door with indestructible rusty key
>>6099207You jam the rusty key into the doorframe and slam into it with all your might. The key shatters! The door remains shut.Well, it's not like you needed to go back to that power supply room anyway.What do?
>>6099670Use the fans to reach the back of the level.
>>6099701>>6099670+1Verbally abuse the tombstone creature first
>>6099701>>6099712You continue through the bushlands. Your way is blocked by a cloud of annoying bats and some tricky jumps over death spikes.What do?>Brave the obstacle course (roll 2d20, DC 8-1 and 8-3)>Throw a missile at them (1 missile left)>Something else?
>>6101152oh, the one single place where you use the bubbler (weapon of all time)fuck it, keep going>Brave the obstacle course (roll 2d20, DC 8-1 and 8-3)
Rolled 2, 9 = 11 (2d20)>>6101410
>>6101410Platforming Failure!You jump face-first into a bat and fumble into the death spikes.
You wake up in the grass.A hooded person is standing nearby."A soldier from the surface? Interesting."The person gestures at your machine gun."If that's a standard-issue machine gun, remember that you can point it downward and use the recoil to propel yourself."Oh right. You forgot about that.Platforming: 7 (Machine Gun +6)
You continue onwards with your newfound knowledge.You see a large house. Nearby is a group of jellyfish.What do?
>>6101544Harvest jellyfish jelly, enter the large house and barter with it
>>6101552At first you're worried that you'll have to fight the big jellyfish, but it seems docile enough if you don't shoot it. You milk three jars of jelly before the jellyfish runs dry.
>>6101552Aaaahhh! It's a rabbit monster!!This one looks remarkably less rabid, though. And it appears to have dyed its fur purple for some reason."Oh, a guest! Hello, Mr. Traveler. What brings you to my home?"What do?
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfloppy diskI also forgot about what's in this fire, and also we're going through the level backwards lol, I thought we were going to the back end where you normally fight balfrog, did we start at the end?qm can you speed this up a little bit
>>6102584STOP SHITTING UP THE QUEST I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOURE SAYING OR WHY YOURE DOING THIS OR WHAT YOU WANTAhem...>>6101855Ask to know what love is, and ask for rabbit woman's hand in marriage
>>6102627fuk you ( ︶︿︶)_∩
>>6102676>:^)
>>6102584>>6102627You seduce the floppy disk.
The purple-colored rabbit, whose name is apparently Chako, kicks you out of her house for fucking her floppy disk. But you don't actually need anything from her anyway.You continue onward through Grasstown, killing a bunch of bats and critters along the way. You see a rabbit thing slamming on the doors of a house in desperation."Dammit! Those critters out there chased me while I was walking back to my house, and I dropped my key. Now I'm locked out of my own home. Do you think you could help me out?"You shrug, because you didn't see any key on the way here. It's probably long gone by now LOL. You emphasize the LOL by pointing at him and laughing.There's a teleporter here. It looks functional.What do?
qm I'm not gonna be able to post for this weekend you're gonna have to hold the line
Teleport the bunny guy inside his house, so he can be at peace!After that, head on west to high adventure.
