"And John?"

"I 'preciate the concern, love." John says. "But I don't intend to die for this wanker. Besides, he's just worried I'll play with his toys."

"They're dangerous and they've fooled smarter men than you."

"What's that say about you then?" John replies with a grin that couldn't be more shit-eating if he was spitting out corn.

"Batman." You say firmly, cutting off his abrupt turn and step towards John. "Just hear me out. You can leave this to John and there's something I think you'd like to know."

"Oh?" Batman says, turning to face you.

"We've stumbled onto something big going on with Blackgate. Some kind of conspiracy and it goes deep, it could even implicate Dent.."

You cringe as the last word leaves your mouth and you don't know why, but you feel it; an invisible shift as the air grows dense in the room.

"I could fill you in on the way back?" You carefully offer, feeling like you're on eggshells as a buzzing ball of anxiety fires up in your gut.

"I'm assuming this is coming from Question more than you." He says flatly.

"I don't like your tone." You respond in an equally flat manner. "I understand you two have a history, not a particularly friendly one either, but there's more than his word to take on this. I have a witness in the prison willing to testify about this, letters that confirm there's some sort of connection between the guards and the criminal element off the island."

"We can handle it after."

"Why!? Why are you so adverse to helping your own city? Because John might get jumped by a guy who lines his robberies up with Easter? He can clearly handle himself."

"This is FOR Gotham." He replies, his voice deepening as he approaches you. "I NEED to go with John so he can walk me through the process of identifying and removing the threat. That way if it ever comes back I can handle it myself, the way I should've from the start."

His voice echoes off the stone and you stare him down as your mind turns over and something clicks.

"From the start? Whaddya mean by that? How long have you known about this?"

"...I only found out the full scope recently."

"Don't be coy, Bat. Tell 'im what you did." John calls out from his book.

You turn your eyes to Batman and raise your brows. He replies in a deflated whisper, a far cry from the borderline shouting he was doing earlier.

"John wasn't my first choice to deal with this. There was another, Zatanna."

"Did she?" You leave the question open and Batman shakes his head.

"No. She's alive, but she's-"

"She's in a coma, to put it simply, she tried to touch the big man's dark piggybacker and whatever it did to 'er activated a failsafe. She sealed herself off with a barrier while an artifact she carried tried to dispel whatever was happening to her. But something went wrong.." John says, still staring down at his tome but his eyes unmoving.

"How long has it been?" You ask.

"Going on day three." He answers quietly. "Whatever it was even a crossroads demon couldn't fix it with a deal. Matter o' fact we were firmly up the creek without a paddle until you came 'ere, I figured I'd have to risk it the same way she did but you came with a spiritual Johnny and a nice clean spot to pull a sample from. Now that I'm positive it's a curse.. mostly. I know 'ow to break it and once I do the rest should handle itself."

"I didn't know." You reply but John holds up a hand.

"I don't blame you, I blame this shifty knob. Have you even told him about the others?" John asks.

"The others?" You ask.

"Zatanna isn't the only one suffering from this.." Batman begins. "There are others: Nightwing and The Manhunter."

"Manhunter?"

"You know him as John Jones."

"What? Why did nobody tell me about this? Why didn't Question-"

"It's been a closely kept secret.. I didn't want you to blame yourself." He replies.

"Blame myself? Why the hell would.. Jesus Christ. Did it happen after he helped me?"

"That's when his symptoms started. The nightmares, paranoia, hearing voices. He was being examined when he lost consciousness.. a week ago."

"A week!?" You shout. "He'd been in a coma for a week because of ME potentially and you never thought to mention it to me?"

"Making you take responsibility for something none of us understand, and that wasn't your fault in the first place, wouldn't have been helpful. You didn't need to be distracted, I've listened to you Mark. You want to focus on your work as a police officer, not a vigilante, not a member of the Justice League. I respect your decision."

"Jones is my friend, he helped me when nobody else could.. shit I STILL use the techniques he taught me to help control my Shivers. I deserved to know."

"If you're going to insist on being outside then you need to accept the blind spots that come with it. All we can do is try and solve this and save them."

"Then call your friends on the inside to come help. Superman, Wonder Woman, fucking Green Lantern? Any of them could probably help us with this."

"Don't bother, lad. You've a better chance of getting a peek under a nun's Jesus jumper than changing his mind." John mumbles. Batman continues as if nothing was said.

"Can't risk it. Zatanna and J'onn were put into a coma from direct contact via telepathy or magic. Nightwing however is neither of those things and he's.." He trails off. You feel something muted, John's barrier making it too hard to identify outside of a slight stomachache. "He's the same. We can't bring anyone else in until we learn more. I won't risk them."

"Cheers, again. Really." John chimes in.

"That's why I can't take the time to worry about Blackgate, I can't split my attention. Not without consequences. This is what I need to focus on now, before it becomes bigger than Gotham."

There it is. The big picture. The scope of things. "Is it always going to be like this?" you wonder to yourself. Will time push back your perspective until you're nothing more but a player sitting at a chess board? Deciding the moves of pieces without even speaking to them? You hope not.. Batman stares at you awaiting a rebuttal, maybe he's hoping you can change his mind or maybe he needs to go along with John just to feel some kind of control. Maybe he's drowning like you are sometimes..

"I remember when I was a kid. You were in the papers a lot, half the city was scared of you and the other half was dirty. But you still took the time to carve out all the rot until we had a chance to build up again, with Gordon and Wayne and Dent. When exactly did you stop fighting for us? What was the point the picture became so big you couldn't focus on Gotham anymore?" You speak quietly, strolling through your own memories as you recite them.

He doesn't reply, his glowing eyes just narrow.

>"Alright, I won't pull you away from this. If going with John is something you need to do then I'll just go to Gordon with Blackgate. I'll let him know not to bother with the signal."
>"You'd rather go with John doing something you KNOW you can't help with because you're afraid. That's not the Batman I remember, do the right thing and come work with us on something that you can directly impact. For the better."
>"Understood, you're just a coward. Enjoy the Asylum, maybe you should check if they have a vacancy."
>"I understand now, it's not a reluctance it's an inability. You just can't see the forest for the trees anymore.. but that's okay. You set Gotham up for the day it had to survive without The Batman. Let me know how the hunt goes, I've got a shift in the morning."
>Write-In

Got mobile cucked but still: Fat text. Don't worry anon who had some good questions for John. I still got you. Just wanted to offer Batman's rebuttal and another chance for you guys to decide if you want to double down on asking for his help with Blackgate or not. Also felt like you guys deserved a bit of an explanation from Ol Batman but had to make sure I tempered it with the mindset of a paranoid schizophrenic, as is tradition when it comes to his planning. Curious to hear what you guys think about this entire situation and specifically Batman's response to it. Hope the delayed update was worth the wait and I'll see you guys soon.

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PREVIOUS THREADS: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Gotham%20City%20Beat%20Cop%20Quest

Thread Cover Credit: RedWisp, as usual they delivered some amazing art the previous thread and I highly suggest you go back even if it's just to scroll until you see more of their work.

If you do art and want to take a crack at being the next thread cover then make whatever piece you can think up and drop it in thread. Even if it doesn't make it as the cover I keep any and all art in a private folder so you can rest assured knowing I'll be looking at it sporadically for the rest of my days.

>>6152305
>"Alright, I won't pull you away from this. If going with John is something you need to do then I'll just go to Gordon with Blackgate. I'll let him know not to bother with the signal."

>>6152305
>"I put my trust in you with all of this, Batman. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. Wouldn't have even called you. Now I'm asking for you to trust me on this. This Blackgate thing is BIG. And either of us being around John when he goes poking around Arkham? It'll turn it into a guaranteed shitshow. All I'm asking for is a little bit of trust, so we can do the right thing. As a team."
I swear to god if he starts comparing us to Superman...

>Zatanna is already knocked out
Damn, ok
>>6152305
>>"Alright, I won't pull you away from this. If going with John is something you need to do then I'll just go to Reiner with Blackgate. He can pass it to Gordon. If we get shut down by feds or argus, and can't continue investigation by normal means, Gordon or me will call you.
Come on, at least tell Reiner first. Before dragging things directly to Gordon over and over. Chain of command, people.
After Manhunter got fucked, it's understandable that Batman assumed Mark was contagious somehow. The fact that he's unvilling to pass that investigation to Constantine completely, is pretty normal amount of trust issues for him. Fuck it man, I have no such weakness. "They'll handle it, I'm going to sleep." Mark has work tomorrow. Gotta observe how Banks is percieved now, gotta score with a cute firefighter, gotta check on that lab from 2 threads ago, or at least pass that investigation to someone else while Mark responds to domestic or whatever it is normal beat cops do.

Now that Mark is glowing harder than an e-girl urging you to post pictures of your unregistered firearm online, maybe he'll meet more supernatural things in the future. Or maybe SIM just has a map marker for us now.

>>6152305
>"Alright, I won't pull you away from this. If going with John is something you need to do then I'll just go to Reiner with Blackgate. He can pass it to Gordon. If we get shut down by feds or argus, and can't continue investigation by normal means, Gordon or me will call you."
Tbh, Batman is making it all weird and personal that IS he he always acts, not that we know it but he's not wrong. If there's a terrible sioernatural threat under Gotham that can KO super-wizards and psychic Martians, I don't think he's being unreasonable focusing on that. Different departments, different jurisdictions; Batman is JL, and they protect EARTH, which is where Gotahm is situated. Handling police corruption probably shouldn't take precedence over, say, magical armageddon or space monsters. This is OUR job.

>>6152305
Changing my vote from >>6152372 to
>"Alright, I won't pull you away from this. If going with John is something you need to do then I'll just go to Reiner with Blackgate. He can pass it to Gordon. If we get shut down by feds or argus, and can't continue investigation by normal means, Gordon or me will call you.
Because its a better response

>>6152305
>>Write-In

"I think I get it now, you don't think anyone else is capable of helping or understanding things of the great and powerful Batman, so you keep everyone in the dark. Maybe if others had information, they wouldn't stumble into getting themselves hurt from known threats. The biggest risk of a plague isn't the illness, it's not telling others there is a risk of infection. Or that you're a carrier."

"You'll have to make sure that my ex isn't a carrier either. She showed her face in my dreams a short while ago."

I think Mark should be justifiably upset with Bats at this.

>>6152488
>police corruption
Is prison system even police?

>>6152506
Law enforcement? Justice system? The point remains: a guu whose coworkers are Superman and the Green Lantern of this SECTOR of space simply has different duties than we do, even if (unbeknownst to Mark) Batman IS demonstrably prioritizing Gotham in his OTHER job. It's like expecting the Secretary General of NATO to drop everything because he's from The Netherlands and the mayor of Amsterdam may be conspiring in a local corruption scandla with some guards at The Bijlmerbajes. It's not realistic or reasonable.

>>6152544
>the mayor of Amsterdam may be conspiring in a local corruption scandla with some guards at The Bijlmerbajes. It's not realistic or reasonable.
What did you say? wie beest gonovoor deer und moleewhump thoose beligerunds!

>>6152305

>>6152488 is me, and I'll add a line about concern for Nia if we can, though. That makes sense.

>>6152305
>"Alright, I won't pull you away from this. If going with John is something you need to do then I'll just go to Reiner with Blackgate. He can pass it to Gordon. If we get shut down by feds or argus, and can't continue investigation by normal means, Gordon or me will call you.
>"And before you do anything else, and I really do mean it... Call Nia. Check up on her. Because if Manhunter got hit from this after contacting me, she's at risk too."

>>6152305

>>"Alright, I won't pull you away from this. If going with John is something you need to do then I'll just go to Reiner with Blackgate. He can pass it to Gordon. If we get shut down by feds or argus, and can't continue investigation by normal means, Gordon or me will call you.

>>6152305
>"Alright, I won't pull you away from this. If going with John is something you need to do then I'll just go to Reiner with Blackgate. He can pass it to Gordon. If we get shut down by feds or argus, and can't continue investigation by normal means, Gordon or me will call you.

Add:
“If everyone who contacts this thing ends up in a coma, you should check on Dreamer. She was in my head a month or two back, around the same time as John.”

>>6152423
>>6152488
>>6152497
>>6152654
>>6152660
>>6152505
>>6152570

You shake your head slightly and sigh.

"Alright. I won't pull you away from this. If going with John is something you need to do then I'll take the Blackgate info to Reiner, let him pass it off to Gordon."

"You should, Gordon is a good man, he'll handle it right."

"My concern isn't Gordon, if this goes as high as we think then.." You trail off. Why even explain it to him at this point? "Look, we'll do all we can legally. If we get brickwalled by the suits or ARGUS and can't continue then Gordon or I can call you."

He doesn't say a thing, he simply nods and extends his hand. You match his silence and shake, only you don't release. You stare hard, envisioning the eyes behind the cowl, you look through him.

"Y'know, I'm get you're a big deal. You're the night and vengeance and all that, so you think you have to keep people in the dark. That even if people wanted to help they'd just get in the way. But maybe if you shared a little more you wouldn't have people you care about, that I care about, getting themselves hurt because they went into something half-blind. Shit like this is almost like a plague, the danger isn't the illness, it's not knowing you have a risk of catching anything. Shit it's about knowing if you're a carrier like m-" You stop short and pull your hand back as a bad thought peers over the horizon of your mind.

"Nia.." You say, looking to the Batman. "Is she okay? If Jones was hit after looking in on my mind then she could be in the same danger."

"She's safe.. affected but safe."

"Affected?"

"Her abilities seem to give her some kind of protection, as soon as the nightmares start she's able to 'change the channel'. They pursue her through the night but so far she's been able to keep ahead of them, I have her under quarantine in a safe place."

You give him a long look. You aren't sure you trust he's being fully transparent with you but you also know it's a waste of time to try and pry it out of him. So you'll just take him at his word. He matches your stare until John's sparking lighter draws both of your eyes. He notices the attention and pulls the flaming tip of a fresh cig away from the lighter and blows it out with a stream of smoke.

"Don't let me get in between you two love birds, go right on arguing." He says with a dismissive wave.

"Actually I have some questions for you too, John."

"Lovely." He replies, his eyes back to scanning the stained pages of his book. "Get on then."

"There's another guy like me with a similar condition, but whatever's dialing his number is a lot more... malevolent. I don't think I can bring him in here, but do you have something I can use to get a "sample" of sorts from him? Ya know, something we can compare to what you took from me just now."

"I do. But there's no point, I only took yours because of a ritual I have floating around somewhere in this book."

"Okay.. but you still put the barrier on me. You said it would make me a beacon so do I have to worry about people around me catching magic ricochet or anything like that?"

"I meant beacon in the more metaphorical sense. Trust me, mate. Anything that can see magical auras'll see my name stamped on your head and avoid you like death itself. Cross me 'eart." He speaks without looking up from the book.

"Well what if you're wrong? If I run into a ghost or a demon or something what do I do? Pray?"

This gets his attention, he glances up at you with a sly grin.

"Only if you're looking to make em laugh before they kill you. Remember the three S's, lad. Silver. Salt. And Sorcery."

"Right.."

"Silver and Salt'll handle your garden variety, even some of the nastier ones if you know how to play your cards, lean on those and you'll be right as rain."

"And the Sorcery?"

He smiles an unsettling grin.
"Sometimes you're just shit-out-of-luck unless you have the right stuff. I wouldn't worry though, lad. You'd have to be pretty unlucky to have an entity pick you out of a crowd."

You furrow your brow and frown.

"Right." He says, adjusting his cig. "Well, the odds of it 'appening twice are even better if that settles your mind."

"Well if my luck IS that bad is there any way I can reach you? Outside of him." You jerk your thumb over your shoulder. "In case it can't wait."

"Mark-"" Batman begins, a warning tone in his voice. John cuts him off with a dramatic closing of the book.

"I'll save ya the time, Bat." John says, flicking his ash towards the fireplace sending the flame into an emerald green roar. "Putting it simply, Mark. I'm a cunt. A selfish cunt who'll use you, discard you, and not lose a wink of sleep over it. Cause I'm the most important thing to me."

He walks as he speaks, running a finger along his shelf until he pulls another dusty book from it's shelf. You watch in an awkward silence, he's clearly the theatrical type so you let it play out as you suppress a yawn that's brewing. He slips his fingers in the book and withdraws a thin white card which he extends to you. You reach out to inspect it and he pulls it back.

"I mean it, Mark. I'm a rotten bastard, to the core, if you call on me just know the price'll be steep."

"How steep?" You ask.

"Steep enough that I'm never anyone's first option. Only their last." His eyes shift over your shoulder and deliver a pointed stare. "Just light this card on fire and I'll open a door for ya."

He wiggles the card and you reluctantly take it, giving him a polite nod, before you stuff it in your pocket. You blink slowly and watch John return to his seat after fetching a fresh cigarette. How this guy isn't riddled with cancer is a mystery all in itself but you've seen enough tonight, it's time to go home.

"Thanks, John." You tell him patting your pocket, turning you give Batman a professional nod. "Batman."

Grabbing the handle you step back out into the frigid air of the night and sigh. You watch the silver cloud of your breath spread and fade away before checking your phone. 0314. The same time you entered.

"What the fuck?" You mumble to yourself before stuffing your phone back in your pocket. Not worth worrying about before you get some rest.

====

Your sleep is blissfully silent, so was the drive, and when you woke up. The world doesn't have that same ethereal glow to it that it did in days prior, the colors and sounds aren't as sharp, in a lot of ways it's what you always wanted but in other ways it makes you feel.. lonely? Exposed? You shake your head and finish the last of your drive-thru joe, letting Hawthorne's car purr as it pumps heat into the front seat, this day was going to be a long one. You already know it.

Entering the precinct you make a beeline for the bullpen, you have a feeling Hawthorne expects his keys before he has to ask you, scanning the still hectic space you see the old man's weathered face. Eyes closed and a cold pack around the base of his neck. In front of him is a paper cup of orange juice and some sad looking cracker or biscuit. As you approach you hold the keys out by a small tag and jingle them.

"Morning, sir!" You chirp, full of faux energy.

His groan is the exact reaction you were aiming for as you chuckle to yourself and press the keys into his blind, groping hand.

"You didn't scratch her did ya?"

"Not sure, I don't remember on account of me driving her home drunk."

"You're a fucking riot."

"Thanks." You answer before setting the extra cup your purchased down on the table. "I got you some coffee, figured you'd need the caffeine."

He inches open his eyes, just enough to spot the coffee and greedily grab for it.

"I don't care what they say about you, Mark. You're a good man." He whispers as he seals his eyes again and drinks greedily.

"They say things about me?"

"Mhmm." He groans. "But I don't care how much they repeat it. Day after day. I know the truth."

"I bet." You tell him. "Reiner told me you've been keeping him updated on our case progress."

"Uh-huh?"

"You mentioned everything to him? Like what we heard about... at Blackgate?"

"Of course I did, I ain't senile yet, rook. Grey took over the main leads from Blackgate, running a team for the lab and barracks the Anarky brat was talking about." He pauses and opens a drawer, pulling out some white tablets that he washes down with the coffee. "If you're asking about the.. thing going on there. Yeah, he's negotiating with the DA to hear Valentine out but it's a hard ask. They don't exactly trust him, especially with his offenses only going UP since he went in."

You nod and sigh.

"Hm.. I probably should have figured."

"Don't sweat it. No cop can work every case at once, we work the beat. We get the details, we get the people there, we hand it up the ladder. It's the circle of twenty-five to life." He chuckles at his own joke as the pills ween away his hangover.

"What's on our agenda now then?"

"Well first, suit up. Second, and I don't want to hear any bitching, I signed us up for some reserve duty."

"What!?" You shout. Hawthorne winces and speaks through gritted teeth.

"That sounds like bitching, rook."

"Sorry, sir.."

"We did our job. Time to let the others get a chance to play in the sandbox, in the meantime there are a few things we need to iron out for your report card."

"My report card?"

"Mhm. Your GCPD Officer Assessment Form, we call it the O-Ass."

"The O-Ass." You repeat flatly. "Really?"

"You'll see why." He chuckles. "I've got a few things on the list, I'll toss out a few suggestions and you tell me what you want to start with.

>Officer Outreach.
>Servicing the public.
>Stationary Security.
>Weapon Maintenance and Cleanliness.
>Profiling.
>"Could I ask for something a little.. different?" (Write-In if you have ideas, may or may not fly.)

Excuse below.
Late post due to some shenanigans, all is well now thankfully. Will do my best to get the next one out closer to our usual time unless you guys are preferring the updates around this time (11am EST) then I wouldn't mind posting when I got home rather than off my work computer. Lemme know, see you soon.

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>>6152839
>Whichever one involves Mark being forced into a mascot costume of pic related

>>6152840
+1 we need levity right now
>Grey took over the main leads from Blackgate, running a team for the lab and barracks the Anarky brat was talking about.
So we got guys going after that Scarecrow lab offscreen? Good

>>6152839
>Officer Outreach.
Post whenever works for you. I check in every 24 to 48 hours regardless.

>>6152839
>>Servicing the public.

>>6152839
>>Officer Outreach.

>>6152839
>Servicing the public.
I'm not actually sure what those mean. Well, besides weapon maintenance and profiling. Whatever man, let mark go talk to people.
>>6152840
volunteering for that would be weird lol
>>6152850
>we got guys going after that Scarecrow lab offscreen?
Sometimes not being a lone vigilante isn't that bad actualy

>>6152947
>volunteering for that would be weird lol
CyT2zfci here, why do you think I mentioned Mark being forced into the role and not volunteering for it?

>>6152949
I dunno, rape kink?

>>6152839
>>Profiling.

>>6152839
>Officer Outreach.

In a Gotham middle school. In the “Larry the Poison Control Lizard” costume.

>>6152840
>>6152850
>>6152908
>>6152916
>>6152946
>>6152947
>>6153224

"I'm leaning towards outreach or.. 'servicing the public' whatever that is." You squint at the sheet as you read it and Hawthorne stops a giggle short and clears his throat.

"Good choices, you like to yap about helping the little guy and either of those'll fit the bill." He leans forward and wiggles his mouse, lighting up his sleeping screen.

Hawthorne peeks through squinted eyes as he navigates the GCPD's dated system and pulls up a document.

"Here's the deal, slick." He begins, directing your attention to the document on screen. "This is exactly what I'm gonna print out, it's the guidelines for your scoring, it'll be out of a twenty. Each section is worth five points, you're looking for a 15 or higher to avoid review. Clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now here." He turns the monitor and points down the list. "Presentation: Did you show a good face for the GCPD. Consider this score a grade on how good you make us look. Information: Did you provide clear and accurate information to the best of your ability? Straight forward. Protection: Did people feel safer after your talk? This one is a bitch because some lady with a stick up her can tank your score. The last one is Empathy: Did you show compassion and understanding with the people you met?"

"Is this like public speaking or something? The stuff about information and compassion or whatever sounds like I'm gonna be talking to people."

"Oh you are. You take one of our "Social Calls" that Gordon implemented, a few events we do year round to try and scrub up the departments image a bit and win back trust. Kimble called it 'Hearts and minds' and I don't disagree."

"So what social calls do we have the week before Halloween? Trick or treating safety seminar? Candy inspection courses?" You chuckle.

Hawthorne smiles wickedly and changes tabs. Moving through a few different windows before he leans back and shows it to you with a toothy grin.

"Feel free to pick your favorite."

Your own smile droops as you stare at the screen.

"You're serious?"

"Deadly. You have to do one at least, so hitch up your skirt and bite the bullet."

You stare at the screen and one thing stands out. A similarity between every single one of these three events.

Location: Gotham Elementary.

"I'm gonna be talking to kids?"

"And their parents, that's the hard part. Kids are easy, they'll clap like seals if you shine your flashlight at em or pass around your handcuffs. But I've seen more than one Officer fall under review because a helicopter mom decided he wasn't interested enough in making sure his pistol was secured."

"Kimble?"

"Mhm." He grunts. "Unloaded, chamber empty, on safety."

"Then what was-"

"The strap came unbuttoned." He says simply.

"Did it fall out? Or someone grab at it?"

"Nope. He noticed and refastened it. Just not quickly enough I guess."

"And he got dinged for that?"

Hawthorne simply shrugs.

"Great." You mumble.

"Don't let it psyche you out, rook. What are the odds the same kinda thing happens to you, huh?" He says as he finishes the last of his coffee. "Anyways, the event is set but they haven't picked what presentation they're doing yet so you get to pick your poison. Lucky duck."

"Right.." You mumble, leaning in to scan the screen.

Out of all of these you figure it may as well be...

>Anti-Drug Rally: Sure they might be a little young but it's never too early to learn when to just say NO!
>Stranger Danger: knowing which adults you can trust is important, doubly so in a city like Gotham.
>Career Day: Sometimes the best recruitment is just to talk, run them through the day as an Officer and inspire some young hearts just like you.
>"I really don't want to do any of these, is there ANYTHING else?"

>>6153260
>>Stranger Danger: knowing which adults you can trust is important, doubly so in a city like Gotham.

>>6153260
>Stranger Danger: knowing which adults you can trust is important, doubly so in a city like Gotham.

>>6153260
>Stranger Danger: knowing which adults you can trust is important, doubly so in a city like Gotham.
>Unless the final option is the mascot costume. Then I want that one. Not because Mark wants it, but because he absolutely does NOT and I absolutely DO.

>>6153272
+1, including to the spoilered bit, kek!

>>6153260

>>6153260
>>Stranger Danger: knowing which adults you can trust is important, doubly so in a city like Gotham.
>>Unless the final option is the mascot costume. Then I want that one. Not because Mark wants it, but because he absolutely does NOT and I absolutely DO.
Beautiful idea anon.

Oh fuck. I just remembered this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frk7wY0VmIM


And it made me have a terrible, hilarious idea...

We could combine the mascot thing with the Anti-Drug rally and have either Mark be an actual snake-man drug dealer, thus fully earning his nickname, or get Hawthorne to do it in revenge for last night's storytime. And have this whole situation be set up by Reiner as his final revenge for both of us going above him to Gordon in the first place.

>>6153302
This.

>>6153302
+1

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>>6153302

>>6153302
+1

QM, have we, the wonderful anons of /QST/, been the demon in Mark’s head this entire time?

Will this end with us being exorcised?

>>6153302
The Cobra persona would be perfect for Stranger Danger.

“Keep a look out kids, you never know where I’ll be! Cause a cobra is an ambush predator!”

>>6153260
>>Stranger Danger: knowing which adults you can trust is important, doubly so in a city like Gotham.
Please for the love of god, not another cobra meme episode. Watching Mark explain to kids what a pedo is will be enough for one update I reckon.

>>6153302
>>6153272
I vote for either of these- my sides have been rendered asunder

>>6153272
>Reiner has convinced those above to make an anti-drug snake mascot knowing this was bound to happen eventually

The final revenge

>>6153353
KEK

Yo, OP? You okay? I didn’t traumatize you with my plan to make Mark fit into a DARE mascot outfit of a character likely designed by DC’s version of the Reagan Administration, did I?

>>6154426
Sat/Sun are his days off, anon

>>6154426
>DC's version of Reagan
A hologram puppet of Lex Luthor in a dystopian future?

>>6154426
>DC’s version of the Reagan Administration
Wouldn't that just be the Reagan administration?

>>6153262
>>6153263
>>6153272
>>6153277
>>6153279
>>6153302
>>6153315
>>6153316


Votes tallied!

Gonna try this new schedule for a bit that I've been on for the last couple of updates, at least until the holiday rush settles a bit. Update to come. Had to exclude a few because including all the replies makes 4Chan take a shit.

>>6153329
>>6153367
>>6153416

"Stranger Danger." You answer confidently. "It's important to tell kids early about who they can and can't trust when they need help. Especially here."

"Damn right." Hawthorne snorts. "Had a mugging vic once who got out of the alley and back to his car just to get that jacked too."

"Guess he didn't see the presentation."

Hawthorne turns the screen towards himself and bangs away at the keyboard, hunting and pecking as you peer over his shoulder, eventually he fills out the a few fields but as he scrolls down and you catch sight of a new list he rapidly scrolls back up. whipping his head around he furrows his brow and grumbles.

"Did you forget what I just said, rook? Suit up."

"Oh, right." You chuckle. "Was just curious about the form.."

"Well you're gonna stay that way until you have a rookie of your own to mold."

You give the computer another suspicious glance but keep moving, straight to the locker room, you get buttoned up in your finest blues and step out of the locker room craning your neck over the bullpen. Hawthorne's desk is absent, the computer a blank screen, but you see him making a beeline for Reiner's office. You decide to follow.

The dull knocking is hard to hear over the hum of the pen but Reiner's sharp voice rings clear even through the shuttered door.

"Come in."

You stop your half-jog right on Hawthorne's heels, sticking your toe in the door just as he goes to shut it.

"Sorry kid, superiors. You know how it is."

"Sergeant?" Reiner's voice comes over his shoulder like a barbed arrow. "Whatever you're here about make it fast. You and DeLucia did good work but YOU are still on my shit-list."

You press forward and stuff your nose and mouth against the door.

"Thank you, sir!" You sputter through squished cheeks.

"What the hell?" Reiner mutters. "Sergeant. Get off my damn door. DeLucia, stop spitting in my air."

"Fuck's sake." Hawthorne groans, backing off and letting you stumble into the room. "You're a quick one, rook."

You catch your balance and straighten up, giving your uniform a tug to straighten it up.

"Yes, sir. Recent cases have me thinking about my cardio more seriously."

"Fifteen seconds." Reiner states bluntly as he scratches out a signature and flips his page.

"DeLucia is doing the presentation this year." Hawthorne says with near child-like glee. "I already printed off all the info and filled it in. Just need your initials."

Reiner holds out a hand and accepts the paper without looking. He sticks it under his desk lamp and reads with the speed of a seasoned bureaucrat, nodding until he gets to the end.

"Good on you, DeLucia. Nobody ever volunteers for these things, but if it was gonna be anyone I should have assumed it'd be you."

"Hah.. right. Why doesn't anyone volunteer for these? I mean it seems pretty easy, go to a school, read a script, I'd think some of the slackers would love it."

"Oh they find other ways to avoid work, but no. It isn't difficult to do most officers just find it a bit embarrassing."

You cock your head at Hawthorne and stare widely. You can see him trying not to crack as the corner of his mouth twitches into a smile.

"Embarrassing how?" You ask with dread.

"The costume." Reiner says, looking up and pulling his glasses off. "You do know about the costume don't you?"

"Illuminate me, sir." You reply with a strained grin.

"Gotti, The Crime Hound."

"Gotti?" You echo in disbelief. "Like the Kingpin? Of the mob?"

"He goes back to the 80's." Reiner answers with a shrug. "But hold that thought. Why is this news to you?"

"Well you see, sir.." Hawthorne begins but Reiner holds up a hand.

"Mark. I've known the Sergeant here for over fifteen years and there's one thing I've picked up in that time. He's a bullshitter and a joker." He glances at Hawthorne. "Accurate?"

"On the head." Hawthorne replies.

"Right, I'm assuming that you also heard me tell your TO he's on my shit list. Right Officer?" He asks you.

"Yes, sir?"

"Good. Then I'm gonna ask you this real quick so I can get back to working on this case you've lovingly dropped into mine and Gordon's laps. Officer DeLucia this presentation is a two man job, one man reads the script and goes through the presentation and the second man is Gotti, Gotham's Crime Hound. The first guy answers questions from the kids and parents in attendance while the second does a little dance, takes pictures with the kids, and says the catch-phrase."

"The catchphrase, sir?"

Reiner sighs and states in his level monotone:

"We're RUFF on crime."

You hear Hawthorne make a noise like he's choking and then cover it with a clearing of his throat. You stare. Your mind taking all this in. From watching an actual, real deal demon getting sent back to hell, which is also real, to wearing a fur suit and trench coat for a photo-op with grade schoolers. Your life is a mess.

"So. Do you want the suit or the script?"

"What?" You ask.

"Sir-" Hawthorne starts but is cut off with a sharp hand.

"Yes I know, the loving tradition of hazing your trainee. I don't give a shit, Mark did the legwork for the SIM case and gave us an alley oop if we don't fuck it up. So, especially since you tried slipping this by me too, he gets to pick." Reiner opens a drawer and pulls out a sharpie. "Just say the word and I'll swap the names."

Hawthorne looks at you and holds the gaze. His famous stare. You can feel your skin starting to itch.

Reiner clears his throat and waggles the pen..

>"I'll wear the suit..." Take this now and maybe Hawthorne rewards you for being a good sport. Better than the alternative, you can take today but he has you for months..
>"I think Sergeant Hawthorne would make a fine hound, sir." This won't be without consequences but after his rallying of Jimmy's under the Cobra Banner this is just desserts for the old man.
>"Would it be possible to bring someone else to be Gotti?" (Who?)

>>6154814
>"I think Sergeant Hawthorne would make a fine hound, sir." This won't be without consequences but after his rallying of Jimmy's under the Cobra Banner this is just desserts for the old man.

Eat it, old man. This old dog is learning a new trick.

>>6154814
>>"I think Sergeant Hawthorne would make a fine hound, sir." This won't be without consequences but after his rallying of Jimmy's under the Cobra Banner this is just desserts for the old man.
You reap what you sow fucker lmao

>>6154814
>"I'll wear the suit..."
I bet we’ll get Batman to smirk a bit if we do this, and that’s a win in my book.

>>6154825
Actually…
>(brings out a quarter and shows both sides to Hawthorne) “Call it. Loser gets free drinks.”
>(flips coin)

>>6154814
>Actually…
>>(brings out a quarter and shows both sides to Hawthorne) “Call it. Loser gets free drinks.”
>>(flips coin)

>>6154829
>>6154827

Either way comes out great. And if we're on script, we're running the cobra line, lol

>Actually…
>>(brings out a quarter and shows both sides to Hawthorne) “Call it. Loser gets free drinks.”
>>(flips coin)

>>6154814
>(brings out a quarter and shows both sides to Hawthorne) “Call it. Loser gets free drinks.”
>(flips coin)

>>6154827
+1

>>6154814
We Two-face now.

>>6154814
>Actually…
>>(brings out a quarter and shows both sides to Hawthorne) “Call it. Loser gets free drinks.”
>>(flips coin)

>>6154827
You maniacs.

We almost got Hawthorn to wear a stuffed dog costume and you’re betting it on a coin flip??

>>6154926
Whoever loses the coin flip, we win regardless.

>>6154814
>Actually…
>(brings out a quarter and shows both sides to Hawthorne) “Call it. Loser gets free drinks.”
>(flips coin)

>>6154827
+1

>>6154814
>Actually…
>>(brings out a quarter and shows both sides to Hawthorne) “Call it. Loser gets free drinks.”
>>(flips coin)

The only thing better than Mark being forced into the fur suit is if the Fire Department is doing fire safety at the same and Allison came along.

Bonus if there’s a mascot for them too.

>>6155036

>>6155036
YES.

I NEED IT.

>>6154814
>"I think Sergeant Hawthorne would make a fine hound, sir." This won't be without consequences but after his rallying of Jimmy's under the Cobra Banner this is just desserts for the old man.

>>6154814
>"I think Sergeant Hawthorne would make a fine hound, sir." This won't be without consequences but after his rallying of Jimmy's under the Cobra Banner this is just desserts for the old man.

>>6154921
+1

>You guys actually memed the mascot into existence.
Holy shit, that's evil

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Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>6154827
>>6154829
>>6154863
>>6154865
>>6154876
>>6154921
>>6155153
>>6154956
>>6154979
>>6154995

"Actually.." You dig in your pockets and pull out your wallet, slipping a quarter from one of it's leather seams.

"You actually keep change in your wallet?" Hawthorne asks with a chuckle.

"Where else would I keep it?"

"Jesus Christ.." Reiner mumbles.

"Call it. Loser wears the costume but also gets free drinks."

"To wash down the embarrassment? Sure thing slick."

You tuck your thumb under the cool metal and flick. The silver disk goes up, glinting off the limited light of Reiner's office and lands smack dab on the back of your hand as you clamp the other over it. Hawthorne stares you down, his jaw jaw grinding side to side as he contemplates. You're pretty sure you can see Reiner's patience actively leaving his body as he sighs and continues holding the pen and paper aloft.

"Heads. Cause only dogs got tails." Hawthorne mutters.

"Let's see.." You reply.

>Removing your hand you reveal...

1. Heads

2. Tails

Full update to come in a bit, this is just setting it up. Don't worry.

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>>6155204
Lol, lmao

>>6155204
Get rekt old man

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>>6155204

>>6155204
>"Heads. Cause only dogs got tails."
>”Well, now so do you.”

>>6155204
I must say boss. "Patience actively leaving his body" is such a wonderous turn of phrase.

>>6155226

You slowly pull your hand away and smirk. Tails.

"Only dogs have tails but.." You extend your hand and let him look. "So do you."

Hawthorne's face settles into a stoic mask of acceptance. He looks to Reiner and nods. At the same time you take the coin and gently kiss it before whispering:

"Grazie, amore mio"

"You two are clowns, you know that?" Reiner says whilst shaking his head and scribbling on the page. He aggressively applies his signature and slides the paper forward. "Get the hell out of my office and let me get back to work now, would ya?"

Hawthorne takes the page off his desk and sighs heavily, giving Reiner a half hearted salute he turns and exits. You follow behind but as you turn to close the door you're not sure through the dim light if Reiner is smiling or not as he pulls out the next form to start going over. You close the door gently and as you turn Hawthorne is inches from your face.

"You won this fair and square, kid. But don't think I'm gonna forget."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." Hawthorne grunts before grasping the sides of your face with both hands. "I want you to enjoy today, son. Because you earned it."

"Okay?" You say uneasily.

"More than okay. You earned this, but you'll be getting what you DESERVE later."

"What?"

"Lots of days between now and your graduation, Mark. Plenty of time for me to find something to even up the score." He says politely, his eyes have a gleam to them you've only rarely seen. Old mischievous eyes.

"Then maybe I'll unbalance them again.." You say ominously, leaning into this bit.

"May the best man win." He says with a grin. He lightly taps your cheek and then let's his arms fall away as he sighs. "Now come on. I can't get the damn costume on all by myself, now can I?"

"Sure thing." You say, letting yourself grin too.

Walking to the storage rooms you gotta say. You feel lighter. The weight of Mandragora and Blackgate is slowly lifting itself off your shoulders, the whispers are nearly muted; still existing in the space between every sentence but mercifully faint, and John's magic though not what you wanted fully still gives you some comfort. The longer you go on without that 'ping' the more certain you'll get that the tumor isn't growing. That would definitely be a good sign. Right?

"Here." Hawthorne grunts, snapping you out of your self analysis.

He presses down the handle on a balsa wood door and leans in. You hear a button click and the buzz of incandescent bulbs, illuminating shifting clouds of dust stirred by your intrusion, you feel a shudder as you step inside. It's noticeably colder and stinks of stale cardboard.

"Where's the costume?"

"Close to the back. Hang tight, I'll grab it." Hawthorne groans, taking massive steps over small piles.

You glance around and notice a lot of the contents are.. odd. You spot something familiar pretty quickly, one of the confetti guns Banks tried to scare you with, three of them in a box along with other general clown supplies.

"What is all this crap?" You call out to Hawthorne.

"Extras." He puffs.

"Extras of what? Confetti cannons and.. rugby equipment?"

"Gotham is a fucked up place, take a guess at how many freaks we pull in annually who got on some sort of costume or disguise? If they make bail we don't give that back to em. Anything we collect in a general seizure that nobody requests back. Most of the shit Mendez finds in trunks."

"Alright.. but why keep it?"

"Cash. We keep some of this stuff around and if we need fundraising we can hawk some of it to someone with more money than sense. With the way Dent's bleeding us we'll probably be tapping in soon."

You kneel and search through a few other boxes. A collection of mannequin heads, their heads marked with various measurements. A small box filled with empty drops containers, they lack residue so it's likely they've never been used. Strangest though is a box with nothing but acrylic nails, each one studded with a faux jewel.

Hawthorne grunts and you can hear him bulldoze through boxes and piles as he lugs something heavy. You look around you and see more and more that catches your eye.

"Sir?"

"Yeah?" Hawthorne answers breathlessly.

"Would it be alright if I took something from here?"

"People do it all the time."

"So it's alright?"

"Some people think so." He huffs.

You keep glancing around as the war between your moral code and your visceral need, as a human, to find something cool rages violently. As you hear him kick over a stack of paperback books you make your decision.

>Resist temptation.
>Imbibe humanity. (Roll 1d100 taking ??? out of three.)
>Write-In

>>6155284
>Resist temptation.
Mark’s apartment isn’t big enough for this useless crap.

>>6155284
>Resist temptation.
We can earn our own bits and bob. On the topic of requisitions though, we should look into privately purchasing an AR and stashing it in the crib.
I also kinda want to dive more into training with it in general, optics be damned. Those things are ubiquitous for a reason.

>>6155284
>Take a picture of a cool thing you want, then try to buy it when an auction comes up.
No reason not to look around, but if we want a thing, we get it the right and proper way. We ain’t no criminal, damnit.

Also, do we know where Cesar’s little sister goes to elementary?

>>6155331
+1

>>6155284
>Resist temptation.

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>6155284
>Imbibe humanity. (Roll 1d100 taking ??? out of three.)

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Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>6155331
Rolling to see if Hawthorne finds something in the pile for his plot, possibly pic related if he's really lucky and they exist in this continuity...

>>6155284
>>Resist temptation.
As stated, our apartment is not big enough for random crap.

>>6155474
Should I roll again as well or wait for someone else to roll too?

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>6155284
>>Imbibe humanity. (Roll 1d100 taking ??? out of three.)

lets gooo

>>6155331
+1

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>>6155286
>>6155294
>>6155331
>>6155340
>>6155806
>>6155360

You look longingly at a box of Muay Thai sparring equipment before pulling away. You really aren't looking to stuff more nonsense into your apartment... right now at least. You pull out your phone and use your toe to push a few boxes aside until you see something that catches your eye. A box full of religious junk, pendants, candles, and books. Including a small silver flask, about the size of your palm, gently shaking it you hear the liquid inside slosh about. You set it down gently and snap a photo, maybe you'll ask Reiner if he'd be fine with you taking it, after your experience at John's you see a little more value in carrying holy water.

A grunt next to you and the sound of a limp pile of cloth and dense fiber falls next to you, sending new clouds of dust and dirt swirling into the buzzing lights, Hawthorne sniffles and lets out a huge sneeze.

"Jesus Christ." He mutters. "Would it kill em to store this thing closer to the front."

"Looks pretty old.. and ugh it has a tail?" You say, giving it a light tap with your foot.

"It's a fucking dog, DeLucia. Last time they replaced it was about ten years ago since we don't really parade around in the damn thing." He yanks and rips at velcro straps until the head of a cartoon dog rolls to your feet. You glance down at it then back up at Hawthorne, who is now repeating the process, ripping open the costume's back.

"Gonna need your help."

"Looks like it, why're you putting it on now? We have a ride to the school to do still."

"You'll understand. Now c'mere."

You listen and step up, helping Hawthorne maintain balance as he slides into the foam blocks that make up it's feet. Afterwards you help refasten the velcro straps on the back, making sure to keep it nice and snug. Hawthorne bends down and grabs the head. He turns to face you and his face is a mask of regret. Letting out a sigh he slaps the head on and spreads his arms.

"Well?"

Your poker face is struggling. Your chest is assaulted by a slowly growing pressure. Your lungs burn as you hold your breath. You're pretty sure you taste blood from how hard you're clamped on your tongue.

"Go ahead." Hawthorne orders.

You lose your shit, your sides ache the same as when you out-ran Firebug, you feel hot tears brimming in your eyes as you wipe with the back of your hand.

"Holy shit.." You manage to squeak out. "Are we sure this isn't going to, y'know, traumatize the kids?"

"Fuck em." Hawthorne barks, sending you into another fit.

"Get ahold of yourself, you're a grown ass man." He shakes his head in disappointment which make his ears wiggle and shed more dust.

"You're right... sorry.. Oh fuck, sorry sir." You sniffle a few times and huff away a few defiant giggles before gesturing towards the door. "Should we get going then?"

He claws at the back of the mask and removes it. His eyes are tired. He jerks his head and you follow them to the door where he rests a paw on the handle.

"I'm gonna drop some wisdom on you, rook. So listen." He speaks while staring straight ahead, his eyes dull. "What's about to happen. You can't stop it, it's gotta happen because we need it."

"We.. need it?"

"The station." He clarifies. "Things are tense right now. We're juggling a serial killer, the last gasp of organized crime, and whatever the hell this Calc fella is planning against Wayne and Dent. Everyone has a lot of shit on their plate and nobody's hungry, still someone has to take the first bite... just hoped it would be you this time."

"This time? What are you-"

He holds up a paw. You get a whiff of something like B.O. and Febreze mixed together. He turns and looks at you, his face the definition of serious.

"This job wears on you, I told you that. Anchors or weights, whichever you feel it's gonna get harder the longer you carry it. People'll always carry it, of course, but they have their ways to cope. Alcohol, friends, therapy, all of them are the same thing. Distractions. A boost to morale. If morale falls then our work is right behind it." He turns to the door again and stares ahead. "When you were laughing your ass off back there what was on your mind?"

"Nothing?"

He smiles and nods.
"Exactly. Get ready to understand why I had wear this now and not at the school."

He raises the helmet and plants it with pride like an astronaut. His furry paw grips the knob and twists...

and twists.

He tries both hands this time. No luck.

You lean in and twist it for him. The head flops towards you and nods once before he marches out the door and you hear a chorus erupt. A few flashes and Kimble's gasping belly laugh, same as last night. You follow out and see a small crowd of uniformed officers, a few detectives, and Grey who smiles warmly. They clap and cheer as Hawthorne shakes his head cartoonishly with his hands on his hips. You step up next to him and wave awkwardly as a few more people snap pictures.

"What's going on?" You whisper.

"Reiner has a mouth like Freddy god-damn Mercury." Hawthorne growls back through the mask. "I knew this was coming."

"Gotti!" Kimble yells out. "Fetch boy!"

An extended baton rolls across the floor and bumps into the fuzzy foot of Hawthorne. He leans down and grabs it before taking a threatening step towards Kimble, only for Kimble to skitter into the crowd laughing like a maniac. Hawthorne grasps the base of the mask and lifts it, walking slowly as he yells to the dividing crowd. You follow awkwardly behind, too stunned to laugh at the absurdity of this.

"Alright already! Enough. Get back to your desks and get back to work, we're police officers for God's sake. NOT clowns. Come on, DeLucia. Let's go do something productive." He accentuates his point by yanking his mask down and turning on his heel, causing his tail to sweep the nearest desk and send a cup of pens spilling to the floor.

He doesn't even turn back as he drops the baton on another unoccupied desk and marches straight for the motor bay. You follow after through the dispersing crowd of misty eyed officers. As you step through the motor bay you look over your shoulder and see the bullpen is nothing but smiles. Figures the old dog had a new trick to show you.

====

You cruise down the grey roads of Gotham with your arm resting in a warm fuzzy patch between your seat and the passenger. Hawthorne chews loudly on a breakfast burrito as he struggles to keep from ingesting 10 year old mascot hair. Eventually swallowing the final bite and asking you casually.

"So have you thought about what you're gonna say to em?"

"Hm? Who? The kids?"

"Yeah."

"I have a script right, I just read from that."

"Oh boy. You didn't peek at it while you were hiding from Mendez?"

"I wasn't hiding, okay? I just really had to piss after laughing that hard, couldn't hold it after that."

"Right, so the CD-"

"Let's not talk about that right now.. I'm working on that. What is this about the script though? I'm not flying blind am I?"

"No. I wanna get you back but I'm not looking to flunk you over it, a review would be a bitch for you right now with a warning on record from Reiner. Here lemme..."

He leans down and digs through your 'war' bag full of GCPD merch, stickers, and candy. He pulls a wrinkled set of papers from the bag and clears his throat.

"Starts off with a script, how to intro, tells you to fill in the blanks. 'Hello my name is Officer LastNameHere' that kind of thing."

"Right, when does it stop doing that?"

"Uh.. it gives you a bullet point list to hit. Discuss Slide 1, discuss Slide 2, Jesus there are more slides than I remember... uhh. Here. After you discuss Slide Six. 'share a story with attendees about your involvement in a case of similar nature' Hm.."

"A case of similar nature? What nature? Like strangers in general or like kidnapping or something?"

"I guess."

"You guess?"

"Look the last time I wore this fucking thing it was brand new, alright? I don't remember the specifics, just go with your gut."

"Gee thanks." You mumble.

A few moments of silence pass and then Hawthorne prods.

"So?"

"So what?"

"What're you gonna tell em? You have to have a few stories in your head."

"I really don't."

"Oh come on. You have to have something that pops to mind. Just say it, don't even think, what comes up when you hear 'Stranger Danger'?"

>The time you saved Basshead from the Gotham Boys house.
>The time you freed Caesar and his sister from that Anarky goon.
>Your Drug Dealer CI and the Jogger's confrontation at the Park.
>The Woman in Red and her balcony.
>Banks attempt to trick you with the Joker Goon outfit.
>Seeing SIM in person across the plaza at Wayne Tower.
>Meeting Batman at the roadhouse.
>Write-In (Encouraged)

One of my first times actually trying to write comedically, curious to hear what you guys thought. I certainly had a fun time thinking about it.

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>>6155876
>The time you saved Basshead from the Gotham Boys house.
Let’s face it, that’s usually the one that gets the biggest laughs.

>spoiler
I had a hell of a laugh, boss, so personally I think you did a great job.

>jpg name
Could have been worse. Gotti could have been King Baby Cake level of horrifying mascot.

>>6155876
>The time you saved Basshead from the Gotham Boys house.
>The time you freed Caesar and his sister from that Anarky goon.

Leave out the meta stuff though. Let’s keep this easy for kids to understand.

Also leave out the stuff about Q and Huntress. That’s borderline admitting to a crime.

Also leave out the Cobra. This is humiliation enough and we should at least TRY to tell more than one or two jokes.

>>6155922
I dunno... teaching kids 'safety in audacity' via cobra isn't necessarily the worst thing to learn Especially if it's paired up with "tell someone you trust as soon as you get out of it"

>>6155873
>Meeting Batman at the roadhouse.
Kids love Batman. Instant crowd-pleaser.

>>6155975
>yeah batman-
>YAAAAAAYYY
>-is a creep who hides in the dark and stalks people, if you know someone like that, kids, tell the police or your parents

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>>6156014
Kek.

>>6155975
this combined with this>>6156014

>>6155876
>The time you saved Basshead from the Gotham Boys house.
The COBRA strikes again

>>6155876
>>The time you freed Caesar and his sister from that Anarky goon.

>>6155975
Is that... police department reported anyhow?

>>6155922
+1

>>6156096
That's a valid point, but driving out of town and running into a member of the Justice League, who IS sort of legally sanctioned at this point, can't be illegal surely?

>>6156133
You really gonna pull up and say "Alright so I was doing extrajudicial work unsanctioned by my boss..."? Nah man you just say that you went out for a drive and stopped off at an abandoned building out of curiosity and the friggin batman was there. Also adds to the "he is everywhere, better look out!" narrative.

>>6155876
>The time you saved Basshead from the Gotham Boys house.
These kids shall learn of the Cobra.

>>6156142
Do we want to accidentally incentivize them into exploring abandoned buildings where bad things may happen just cuz they might find the bat?

>>6156142
I'm not saying we phrase it that way or tell the all the details. Presumably we wouldn't be giving fine details on ANY story , since these are just kids...

>>6156142
Mark is here to talk to kids about police work. Not to brag about how cool he is.

Keep it to stranger danger stuff.

SIM might be the perfect defenition of a creepy stalker, but I don't think we can tell the kids about that guy. Maybe like, paraphrase it somehow?
>>6155876
>The time you saved Basshead from the Gotham Boys house.
>Try to condense SIM's general attitude into a template, without telling the kids about Mark's personal dealings with an active serial killer
>>6156228
Yeah, this. We're not here to show off in front of the children lol. Let's leave batman out of it.

>>6156387
I'm with this, lets not show off Bats to the public nor the kids. Swapping votes- My original vote was this btw>>6156036

Not gonna lie to you guys. Today has been a very bad day and I'm just not in any kind of mood to write atm. I'll be back tomorrow and I'll see about an extra update this weekend to make up for it. Very sorry just really can't get myself to focus on anything right now.

We're locked in for talking about Basshead/Caesar sans the Cobra bits.

If you wanna reply just for the sake of it, I'll give you another general question cause I enjoy reading the stuff you guys post.

>Is there a character from the Quest so far that you'd like to see get more screentime? If so, what kind of scene would you like to get with them?

We'll be back tonight, apologies once again. See ya soon.

>>6156441
>Is there a character from the Quest so far that you'd like to see get more screentime? If so, what kind of scene would you like to get with them?

Gotti.

With how gotham magic works, is an actual manifestation. It just so happens no one believes it and thinks its more PR.

>>6156441
>Is there a character from the Quest so far that you'd like to see get more screentime? If so, what kind of scene would you like to get with them?
Allison.

>Very sorry just really can't get myself to focus on anything right now.
Don't sweat it. Take the time you need.

>>6156441
>>Is there a character from the Quest so far that you'd like to see get more screentime?
Maybe Reiner. I wonder what's his take on all the high profile things happening around him lately. SIM, Blackgate, Gorchi. Just another day in Gotham?

>>6156441
Ah shit. Hope things get better for ya soon, QM.

I say that Allison should get more screen time. We need more of Mark (and other characters really) at rest.

>>6156441
>Is there a character from the Quest so far that you'd like to see get more screentime? If so, what kind of scene would you like to get with them?

Gotti, specifically his old PSA's. I'd imagine it'd be like a mix of McGruff and 2077's Safe and Sound cartoons.

Also, fully supporting Gotti being entwined in Gotham magic. I have a feeling we're gonna have to wear the suit as a sort of positive energy hazmat suit when we finally have to enter Arkham Asylum due to supervillain shenanigans... Perhaps a "clap if you believe in fairies" situation?

>>6156441
>Is there a character from the Quest so far that you'd like to see get more screentime? If so, what kind of scene would you like to get with them?
Gotti and Allison, same as what others said

“Saving Basshead.” You blurt out. Hawthorne’s face contorts into a frown with furrowed brows.

“Get a new story, son. You can’t keep re-hashing that Cobra bit forever.”

“Like you have room to talk.” You snap back. “You parrot it to anyone who’ll listen.”

“That’s because I’m a naturally gifted speaker, rook. It’s in HOW you tell it, just as much as it is WHAT you’re telling.”

You roll your eyes and shake your head.

“What about Caesar then? How we helped him out with that Anarky goon?”

“What’s stranger danger about that?”

“The guy being a literal stranger. The fact that he trusted the police to help him and we did. Seems like it hits all the beats.”

Hawthorne raises his brows and nods.

“Well when you break it down like that.. sounds a little more fitting.”

“Thank you.” You offer bluntly, letting out a sigh. “Starting to think I should have taken the dog costume.”

“Too late for that, I already did the clown show.” Hawthorne says. “I ain’t letting you off easy.”

You see the school as you round the corner, memories float by but you don’t focus on any of them too long, finding a parking space you concern yourself with what you’re gonna say. Running through possible questions the kids could have, the parents, what Hawthorne might throw at you to see if you can hack it. For the first time in forever you’re alone in your head with your own thoughts and it’s almost overwhelming, you never realized how much you subconsciously drew on the information Shivers passed along as a font of inspiration, but you’ll take being healthy over being inspired any day.


The school is familiar, unsettlingly so, the display case has rows of trophies that haven’t shined since the nineties. Metal detectors at the entrance flare as you step into a sort of airlock, a space between the doors that lead outside and the doors that lead into Gotham Elementary proper. A small booth window with scuffed and cloudy plastic separates you from a rotund woman with a beehive haircut. Hawthorne elbows you and nods to the window, where she watches you expectantly.

“Hm? Oh.. Yeah uh.” You reach down to your belt and pull out your identification before also plucking off your badge and setting them in a shallow tray.
“Officers Hawthorne and DeLucia, we’re here to do the GCPD presentation.” Hawthorne says, attempting a charming smile while holding his mascot head under his arm. She seems less than impressed.

Handing back your possessions with little more than a grunt you hear a loud click and the door inside opens. It’s time..

====


You stand outside the classroom door and peek inside. A full classroom of children sit inside doodling on paper or chatting among themselves. Along the flanks are a smattering of parents, Hawthorne leans in.

“Aw hell.” He mumbles.

“What?”

“That lady. The one who looks like she’s just finished a lemon, she’s the one who gave Kimble a hard time.”

“The gun thing?”

“Mhmm.” Hawthorne mutters. “Must’ve had herself another brat.. Bad luck for you.”

“Well that’s nice. Shit.” You whisper.

“Don’t worry, you’ve managed to charm everyone you’ve met so far with your ‘golly gee’ boyscout routine.”

“It’s not a routine..” You mumble quietly.

“Alright, you take a minute to get your head straight. The teacher’ll come talk to you while I get em warmed up.” He lets out a breath and holds his mascot head like a star QB about to hit the field. He gives you a final nod and slaps it on, flinging open the door you hear an eruption of children yelling as he steps in shooting finger guns and giving out high fives.

“Looks like our special guests have arrived!” The teacher calls out.

Hawthorne waddles up and leans in, whispering something in his ear. The teacher nods and heads for the door after loudly proclaiming.

“Gotti just told me he hasn’t been pet ALL DAY. Why don’t you guys come say hi?”

As a tide of tots rush the blackboard the teacher heads for the door. As he gets closer something about him seems… familiar but before you can dig through your memories he’s already in the hall.

“G’morning.” He says, shutting the door behind him. “Thanks for coming out, Officer..”

His eyes flicker down to your name tag. Then up. Then back down. He stares now, his sentence floating away from him like a lost balloon as you shake his now limp hand.

“Everything alright?” You ask him.

“Uh.. yeah. Officer DeLucia..” He says your name, letting it hang in the air before he clears his throat and retracts his hand. “Very sorry, just caught me off guard.”

“Off guard how?” You ask him with a confused smile.

“Do you not remember me?”

“You look a little familiar, sure. But.. no not off the top of my head.”

“It’s me, Tony. Uh.. Anthony. Anthony Keller, we went to school together. Well, elementary school.”

Your eyes widen and it clicks. Tony Keller, you feel a throb beneath your right eye, the kid who bullied you and gave you a shiner. You hadn’t thought of him in quite a while, being perfectly honest you were more than happy to leave some of your earlier childhood memories tucked away. Now that you know you find yourself tongue tied. He smiles and pats your shoulder.

“Good to see you again, man! You look good. You kinda vanished, I wondered what happened to ya. Glad to see you back in the city.”

You stare at him. So glib. Does he really not remember? His own face shifts slightly, a mist of unease settling on him as his smile falters.

“You okay, man? I know we weren’t exactly friends but that’s in the past, right? We’re adults now.”

You blink and feel a small mass of pulsating heat in your gut. The memories flow easily now, when he punched you out in class, when he said you were born in a lab, freak, mutant, all of it. You swallow and it leaves a bitter trail. You open your mouth to reply and find nothing. You spent years thinking about the things you’d say to him. To any of the kids who picked on you. Hours in waiting rooms and machines and dark hospital rooms with loud pumps and needles in your skin, just imaging the rebuttals and insults that would hurt them the same way they hurt you and now staring him in the eye you aren’t sure what to do. So you say..

>”Sorry, but I really don’t remember you. Pleasure to meet you again though, I guess. We should probably start up the presentation huh?”
>”Not exactly friends? I tried to do you a solid and you tortured me for it daily, you were one of the main reasons I begged my parents if we could live anywhere else. Look, no offense. But I’m not interested in being your friend, I’m here for work so just let me do my job.”
>”I’m alright, just wasn’t expecting to see an old face. Especially one from Elementary school. As far as whatever happened when we were kids, how about we just forget about it? Start fresh.”
>”I’m not gonna lie, you being a teacher is.. Ironic. To put it lightly. I’m gonna guess there aren’t any meta students in your class or you’d have already chased em out, am I right?”
>Nothing, just walk past him and start the presentation. It’s probably better to keep your thoughts to yourself for now.
>Write-In

>>6156971
>>”I’m not gonna lie, you being a teacher is.. Ironic. To put it lightly. I’m gonna guess there aren’t any meta students in your class or you’d have already chased em out, am I right?”
Fuck this dude, but we gotta keep it pushing

>>6156971
>>”I’m not gonna lie, you being a teacher is.. Ironic. To put it lightly. I’m gonna guess there aren’t any meta students in your class or you’d have already chased em out, am I right?”
>write in: "But yes. Bygones are bygones. The past is here and know"

>>6156971
"If I hear you let meta children get bullied, we're gonna have words"
Do an antibullying segment after with our experience

>>6156971
>”I’m not gonna lie, you being a teacher is.. Ironic. To put it lightly.“
>”I hope you’re not letting any of your students off the hook if they’re doing the same stuff you did to me to others, right?”
If he seems like he’s actually trying to be a better person…
>”I’m fine leaving it in the past. Besides, a knee to the groin to repay a shiner is enough.”

>>6156971
>”I’m alright, just wasn’t expecting to see an old face. Especially one from Elementary school. As far as whatever happened when we were kids, how about we just forget about it? Start fresh.”
Elementary was forever ago. People change.

However, a word of warning...
>>6156996
+1 to this, too.

>>6157018
>>6156996
+1
He can't do shit to us because we're a cop

>>6157024
+1

>>6157027
Doesn't vibe super well with the whole "clean cop who encourages trust" angle, but I can see why mark might be bitter.

We're not threatening him with anything cop related. Simply "you best be protecting the kids". Who's gonna shit on someone saying that?

And telling kids that even a cop who saved the mayor was bullied can give hope things eventually change.

>>6156996
Also add "is that how you teach the kids to apologize? "

>>6156971
>>”I’m alright, just wasn’t expecting to see an old face. Especially one from Elementary school. As far as whatever happened when we were kids, let's not talk about it. That wasn't really the best of times for me.”

We're here to be graded on our behavior and Hawthorne has warned us there's a major Karen right there. Let's be professionals, at very least so this doesn't bite us in the ass.

>>6157018
I’ll switch the first part of my vote here to
>”I’m alright, just wasn’t expecting to see an old face. Especially one from Elementary school. As far as whatever happened when we were kids, how about we just forget about it? Start fresh.”
The choice commenting about his career path seems a bit too antagonistic when I think about it… keep the rest of what I wrote down, though.

>>6156971
>”I’m alright, just wasn’t expecting to see an old face. Especially one from Elementary school. As far as whatever happened when we were kids, how about we just forget about it? Start fresh.”

Is Mark really the kind of guy to wield his authority like that? Just let it go.

Mark won anyways. This poor guy has to suffer through a Gotham elementary school on a daily basis.

Blackgate is probably safer.

>>6156971
>>”I’m alright, just wasn’t expecting to see an old face. Especially one from Elementary school. As far as whatever happened when we were kids, how about we just forget about it? Start fresh.”

>>6157950
I'm more interested in just challenging him on who he is now vs who he was.

No kids deserve to be discriminated against by their teacher. If he's better, that's different.

Still want to make sure the kids aren't being bullied.

Mark's magneto arc starts NOW
Well, maybe not now, maybe after we learn what the hell is argus doing to metas in blackgate

>>6157024
>>6157178
>>6157881
>>6157950
>>6158112
>>6158122

"I'm alright." You manage to get out after a brief moment of letting your brain catch up to your feelings. "Just wasn't expecting to see an old face. Especially from Elementary school."

"Yeah I was surprised too. Jesus.. I mean the last time we saw each other.." He trails off, maybe his memory caught up to his mouth as he just kind of sits in the silence he made.

Seeing his awkwardness you decide to be the bigger person. Part of you is still heated, even after all this time, but it really has been years. People change. You changed. You sigh and hold out a hand in peace.

"Hey. Whatever happened when we were kids, how about we just forget about it? Start fresh."

"Of course..” He sounds relieved, he shakes your hand with a damp grip. “Just glad you get it, we were kids.”

You narrow your eyes and tilt your head.

“Not exactly an apology, I hope you’re teaching the kids to do better than you. I wouldn’t want to find out there’s anything like what I went through with meta students in your class. We’d have to have a talk about that.”

He sputters and tries to form a reply but you just smile and tap his arm.

“I’m just busting your balls, the least I can do to get even.” You turn and open the door to the class stepping into the chaos…

====

“Class.” Tony begins after calming them all. “Today we have a special guest, he even brought Gotti along. This is GCPD officer Mark DeLucia!”

A smattering of tiny hands clap and a few parents as well, you can’t help but notice the sour faced mom’s eyes scanning you up and down. Probing every buckle, button, and zipper looking for perfection. Hawthorne stands slightly behind the class and gives you two big furry thumbs up. Time to give it your best.

“Hello class, I’m Officer DeLucia with the GCPD. Now, knowing how to stay safe isn’t just something grown-ups need to worry about. It’s something you can help with too. That starts with knowing how to spot danger and what to do when you see it.” You look over the crowd and see the kids watching pretty attentively, more dutiful students than when you went to school. You continue. “Let’s say you’re walking home from school and someone you don’t know starts talking to you, maybe they offer you candy or a ride, maybe they say something like, ‘Your mom told me to pick you up.’ First rule? Never go anywhere with someone you don’t know, no matter what they say. Even if it sounds nice or they seem friendly, you need to stay where you are and get help from someone you trust; like a teacher, a parent, or even a police officer.“ You gesture to yourself and smile.

“Now, my partner Gotti here, he's one of the smartest dogs I know. And one of the things he’s trained to do is keep his eyes and ears open. That’s what I want all of you to do too. Do your best to pay attention to your surroundings and trust your instincts. If something feels off or makes you uncomfortable, it’s better to be safe and speak up than to stay quiet n’ risk getting hurt."

You click a small remote on the desk and the next frame slides in. Showing a cartoon burglar hiding behind a street pole. As you go to speak the sour faced woman extends a hand.

“Ma’am?” You point at her.

“ ‘Stay where you are and get help’? What if there isn’t anyone around to help? Seems like you’re just teaching them to freeze up instead of actually protecting themselves.”

She crosses her arms and arcs an eyebrow sharply. The message is clear: ‘The ball is in your court’ Tony sighs and a girl in the front lowers her head as her face becomes bright red.

You hide behind a smile while your mind tumbles that little gotcha around.

“An excellent question ma’am..” You begin.

“I know.” She replies back. “Since it seems like common sense isn’t so common.”

Damn. Hawthorne’s voice echoes in your head: “Good luck with that one.” No kidding..


>”Of course not, but it’s important to cover the basics before moving on to more advanced scenarios.”
>”According to our stats, most cases like this actually occur in crowded public spaces. Bad guys like to rely on a crowd to hide in and blend in.”
>”Well if you’re so concerned ma’am, we do offer self defence classes and all ages are welcome to attend.”
>Ignore her and continue the presentation.
>Write-In

>>6159009
>”Of course not, but it’s important to cover the basics before moving on to more advanced scenarios.”
>”Well if you’re so concerned ma’am, we do offer self defence classes and all ages are welcome to attend.”
Double whammy. we first tell her we are building up from the basics since they are kids and then offer that self we do offer the option for protecting themselves. DO NOT OFFER THE STATS THIS IS A TRAP. This type of people are ones you do not win over with our own stats, since they are in their own world with whatever is correct.
If she miffles the basics we give the analogy learning to walk. About self defence I don't know what we can get for an extra defence.

>>6159012
Sorry. too much coffee in my system.
about the basics I mean the analogy learning to walk before running.
The other one was then offer the self defence defence option to learn about protecting themselves.

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631 KB JPG

>>6159012
Naw, the self defense angle is dead on arrival. A small child isn't gonna fight off a determined kidnapper, the disparity in size is just too much.
I'm also not sure about the "advanced scenarios" line because this entire presentation is a one-time thing. There's only so much we can cover (and expect to the kids to remember) in so little time.
>>6159009
>"If there's nobody around to help, here's what you do...SCREAM! Scream for help as loud as you can! That way you get eyes on you at the speed of sound, and there's nothing bad guys hate more than attention."
Make sure to pause before the "SCREAM!" part and I guarantee you these kids will actually remember it. Not to mention it is actually sound advice, ripped straight from several self-defense seminars I've pirated recordings of.

>>6159009
>"There's no one size fits all solution when it comes to this, unfortunately. Sometimes, you need to examine the situation carefully and make a decision. If you're in a crowded location with plenty of people around, then staying put is your best bet - criminals hate to make their move with lots of eyes on them. But if the odds are against you and you don't feel safe where you are, then get out of there, fast! Go somewhere safe and populated by trustworthy people."

>>6159017
>Naw, the self defense angle is dead on arrival
fair enough.

>>6159017
+1

>>6159009
>”Of course not, but it’s important to cover the basics before moving on to more advanced scenarios.”
>"If there's nobody around to help, here's what you do...SCREAM! Scream for help as loud as you can! That way you get eyes on you at the speed of sound, and there's nothing bad guys hate more than attention."
>"Remember how your parents don't like it when you are really loud in a public situation? Like a mall, or the supermarket? Well, strangers REALLY hate that. And if there's only one time where you can be loud in a public place, and your parents won't be mad at you for making one, it's when you're facing a stranger who's making you uncomfortable or scared."

>>6159096
+1

Also add that the child needs to make it VERY CLEAR to everyone around that they do not know this adult and need help.

>>6159096
Okay, too late to delete this and edit it, so I'm gonna change up the last one a bit and add in the new stuff in all caps...

>And if there's only one time where you can be loud in a public place, and your parents won't be mad at you for making one, it's when you're facing a stranger BY YOURSELF who's making you uncomfortable or scared.

We don't want the kids to take it as an excuse to start shrieking when meeting a new person with their parents, after all.

>>6159096
>>6159120
+1

>>6159017
>>6159085
>>6159096
>>6159119
>>6159120
>>6159122
>>6159012

"Of course not, but it's important to cover the basics before moving on to more advanced scenarios." You turn your attention to the kids, snubbing the mom as she opens her mouth. "Guys, if there's nobody around to help, then here's what I want you to do.."

You freeze and let your eyes drag over the room, getting each and every one's attention before cupping your hand over your mouth and suddenly bellowing "SCREAM!"

The kids shout in surprise before erupting into a gaggle of giggles. You lean on the desk and smile warmly.

"That's right, I want you to scream for help as loud as you can. That will get everyone's eyes on you faster than Flash and there's nothing a bad guy hates more than attention. Now I know that your parents have probably gotten mad at you guys for being too loud in public before.. but if there's one situation where you can be as loud as you want and not have anyone upset with you? It's when you're being made uncomfortable or scared by a stranger."

A small hand raises up, a young girl with a superman hair-clip and missing front teeth lisps her question at you as you point.

"What do we yell?"

"Good question." You tell her, reaching into your bag of goodies and grabbing a GCPD glitter sticker and passing it off to Tony to deliver.

"I want to make it clear to you guys, you can't just yell at any stranger you see. Especially if your parents or other adults you trust are nearby. But if you're really all by yourself then you yell as hard as you can. You yell that you don't know this person, you yell for help, and make it clear this person is not your parent or a friend."

You look at the sour faced mom and she just glares. You win this round.

"Alright. now we're going to discuss common scenarios.."

====

The presentation almost flies by, your nerves ease up significantly after evading the snare that was thrown out for you. You’re actually a little surprised at how easily public speaking comes to you, maybe it’s just the fact it’s kids, regardless you feel a niggle of worry start to worm through your mind as you get to the final slide.

“So, we’ve talked a lot about some general situations but I wanna take a second to actually tell you guys about cases I’ve been involved in that I think you can take a good lesson from. It’s about a friend of mine, he’s older than you guys but still a kid, and he actually was in trouble with a stranger at his own house.”

The kids watch intently.

“Now, it’s important to know that being safe around strangers extends even to your house. Even to your room. You should NEVER let in anyone you don’t know.”

A hand. You point.

“Even a police?” A young boy asks.

“Now that depends. How many of you guys are excited for halloween?”

A sea of hands.

“How many people do you see dressed as police officers every year? A couple right? That means there’s a chance that bad people could try and pretend to be police, because they know people think they’re safe.”

The mom scoffs but you ignore her, unclipping your belt you kneel down to the young boy and hand it to him. He holds it gently, like a fragile relic.

“Now look at the shape of it, and on the bottom there you see those numbers?” You stand up and gesture for the boy to pass the badge down the row. “The numbers on the bottom are my ‘badge number’ it’s seven numbers, always. If a police officer wants to speak to you, you can check their badge to see if they’re legit.” You straighten up and continue from earlier. “Now, my friend. We can call him.. Julius. He let a stranger into his house.”

“Why!?” A horrified child shouts.

“Because the man lied.” You calmly explain. Deciding to hold back the more violent themes of this story. “He said he was a friend of his mom, but when he got inside Julius realized that this guy didn’t know his mom at all.”

“So what happened?”

“Well, Gotti and I went to their apartment. When we knocked on the door, Julius answered and even though he was scared he let me know what was going on. He wrote me a note, actually. If you’re ever in a situation you can’t speak up in, it’s a life saver to be able to write it down. So don’t skimp on your spelling homework or english okay?”

“How did you save Julius?”

“Well I’m a police officer.” You say, letting the pride come through clearly. “After I read the note, I opened that door up and I arrested the bad guy.”

“Were you scared?”

“Of course, I was scared.” You reply honestly. “But the thing that makes Police men and women people you can trust is the fact that despite being scared, they’d never let that stop them from helping you. And you know what? Never let it stop you either, because facing off with a stranger is scary and it takes real bravery to be able to yell or let someone know that something you don’t like is happening.”

You see Hawthorne nodding his dog head in affirmation. You click the slide remote again and hit a blank screen.

“Alright, that looks like everything I had for the day. Does anyone have any questions?”

As Tony hands you your badge and you re-affix it you see multiple children straining out of their seats to ask you something, a few more casually raised, and only a few who stare out the window. Behind them all, the sour faced woman holds her hand up. Staring you down like a hawk watching a mouse. You clear your throat and call on…

>One of the enthusiastic students, dollars to donuts it’s ‘Have you met Batman’
>One of the students raising their hand normally, maybe that girl with the superman hair clip.
>One of the students not paying attention, they probably have the most interesting question.
>The Sour Faced Mom, may as well get it out of the way.
>Write-In

>>6159527
>Sour Mom’s daughter.

File: supesdagoat.png (964 KB, 640x969)

964 KB PNG

>>6159527
>>One of the students raising their hand normally, maybe that girl with the superman hair clip.
Tremendously good taste little girl.

>>6159527
>>One of the students raising their hand normally, maybe that girl with the superman hair clip.

The kids are the stars today. She can wait her turn.

>>6159527
>One of the students raising their hand normally, maybe that girl with the superman hair clip.

>>6159527
>One of the students raising their hand normally, maybe that girl with the superman hair clip.

This has gone… surprisingly well. Mark is so good at this he’s going to be shoehorned into doing it for the rest of his career.

>>6159577
You guys have provided really good responses and between vote musings. I consider you all just different fragments of Mark's brain Ala Disco Elysium so even the between the vote stuff and out of green text stuff I'll take into consideration for how Mark acts and talks and thinks of things.

If we’re going for the Supes fan, you think we should send Tony one of our spare patches we got on our first day to give to her?

>>6159602
Only if she asks a truly super question.

>>6159606
You are cheesy as fuck. I chuckled

>>6159527
>One of the students raising their hand normally, maybe that girl with the superman hair clip.

>>6159527
>The Sour Faced Mom, may as well get it out of the way.
Let's not piss her off more

>>6159760
You ask the impossible, anon.

>>6159760
[HALF-LIGHT] Let the bitch stew. The children will all outlive her. They are the future of the race of human animals. They matter more.

>>6159527
>One of the enthusiastic students, dollars to donuts it’s ‘Have you met Batman’

>>6159765
Kek.

Rolled 7 + 13 (1d10 + 13)

Alright, gonna need to do some rolls for something very… special. Don’t mind me, anons.

First off, one roll to see how many students are in this class.

Rolled 5 + 15 (1d5 + 15)

>>6159929
Okay, so classroom size of twenty kids. Next up, how many students have at least one of their parents here.

>>6159931
Wow! Perfect attendance!

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>6159931
Ah, I see we’ve got a bunch of kids with helicopter parents!

Next up, let’s divide up how many mothers to fathers there are… let’s assume dads will be the lower half of the roll…

Rolled 18 (1d19)

>>6159935
Hey! All Moms! That makes this next bit very, VERY interesting…

Now, the second to final roll…

Just how many moms want to take a ride down to the precinct with officer DeLucia?

Rolled 13 (1d18)

>>6159938
And the final one. The most terrifying one…

Is Sourpuss McPuckerface one of them?

>>6159939
Welp. There you have it. Mark’s a MILF magnet, and Lemonface wants to hate fuck him in the back of the cruiser. Even odds if she wants the Gotti mask to be on him while doing so.

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT, GENTLEANONS!

What in the good googlymoogly just happened kek

>>6159951
I just got Mark a high score on his Officer Assessment Form and a new story for the next party at the Blue Brass, gave Allison some rivals, and ruined a bunch of linens and marriages, all in just five rolls.