You're Larry, the hill giant, just chilling in your hill when suddenly you feel an ominous sense of impending doom, as if the entire world is going to collapse and reality is about to end."I'm hungry," you say out loud.You open your giant sack to see if you have any food left. Nope, no food—just a bunch of worthless silver you accidentally got when you ate a merchant.Well, time to get some bacon. You grab your club and decide where you're going to get your next meal.> Into the nearby farmland. You could steal a cow. It's pretty safe, but the farmers might get angry. > Into the forest. You could club a bear, a boar, or a wolf to death and eat it, but you might get harmed. > Ambush another caravan. With some luck, you can eat a horse, an ox, or a donkey, and put the merchant in your sack. > Write in.
>>6173086> Ambush another caravan. With some luck, you can eat a horse, an ox, or a donkey, and put the merchant in your sack. I mean. It worked last time.
>>6173086> Ambush another caravan. With some luck, you can eat a horse, an ox, or a donkey, and put the merchant in your sack.
>>6173086> Write in>ask the nearest caravan merchant if he has need of a giant guard. if not, steal the horses for lunch
>>6173086>>6173097 +1Merchant giant guard means regular food and it's safer to eat and kill the merchant's enemies without being considered a threat to the local lord or fighting off the wildlife over scraps
>>6173088>>6173095>>6173097>>6173121You decide to ambush another caravan!But this time you take a different approach.When you hear the caravan getting nearby, you come from behind the hill and stop them."Oe, you in need of a giant guard?"The merchant becomes terrified!"Gimme food!"The merchant offers you his food - a tiny human sized bag of supplies.You dump the food into your mouth and it is barely a swallowfull."Is that all you got? I'm still hungry."The merchant is so terrified he can't even speak."I'll eat your horse now."You grab his horse and take a bite out of its head, then start devouring it!"The merchant can only watch in terror!Then, when you're filled, you put the merchant into your sack as a snack for later.You start wandering through the hills looking for a nice spot to sleep when you see a troll.The troll is much smaller than you and is carrying a human child.Human children are delicious, you hardly ever get to eat them.> Propose to exchange the fat merchant for the tiny girl> Beat the dumb troll with your club and steal his food> You're not even hungry right now, ask how the troll is doing> Write in
>>6173134>Propose to exchange the fat merchant for the tiny girlIf someone comes after the merchant for a reward they will attack the dumb troll instead
>>6173134> Beat the dumb troll with your club and steal his food
>>6173134>You're not even hungry right now, ask how the troll is doing
>>6173134> You're not even hungry right now, ask how the troll is doingTeehee
>>6173134> You're not even hungry right now, ask how the troll is doing
>>6173135>>6173138>>6173155>>6173231>>6173296You're not really hungry right now, so you strike up a conversation with the troll, pointing at the little girl he's captured. "How's that girl you nabbed? Still alive?" you ask, lounging lazily against a boulder. The troll shrugs. "Not much goin' on. Just stocking up for winter, you know." "Winter?" You raise an eyebrow. "Why bother? This region's always got plenty of food, doesn’t it?" The troll grunts, "Yeah, but in winter, people are always waving around fires. And I don’t like fires." "Fair point," you mutter, glancing at the merchant in your sack. "I asked this guy for a job, but he didn’t even say a word. Useless." The troll scratches his chin thoughtfully. "If you want a job, there’s a necromancer livin’ in a cave north of here. Day’s travel, give or take. Heard he could use a smart giant like you." "A necromancer, huh?" you say, leaning forward. "Might be worth a visit." > Go meet this necromancer who is hiring> Bash the troll in the head and steal his girl> Find a secluded place and take a long nap> Write in
I'm a retard and deleted my post.>>6173304"Thanks, troll friend!">Go meet this necromancer who is hiringLet's go see what this necromancer is willing to pay.
>>6173304> Go meet this necromancer who is hiring
>>6173308>>6173309Supporting
>>6173308>>6173309>>6173319>>6173327You decide to go meet the necromancer who is hiring.The trip is uneventful, and you find the cave the troll mentioned.At the entrance of the cave, there’s a skeleton.You grab it and carry it into the cave with you.You find more skeletons inside, but you just use your skeleton to beat the others with.Then you spot a human girl in a black robe doing something strange with a corpse—she’s definitely not eating it."Uh... you're the necromancer who's hiring?" you ask, eyeing her carefully.She looks at you, surprised, but then nods. "Yes, it’s me! Do you want to work for me?""Well, how much food will you give me?" you reply.She raises an eyebrow. "What is your favorite food?""Favorite... dunno... cows, me thinks.""I'll give you one cow a day!" she says enthusiastically."That will not do! I will only do it if it's one cow every other day!" you argue."Deal," she says without hesitation."Does that mean I'm hired?" you ask."Yeah, yeah," she replies with a wave of her hand."And what do I do now, boss girl?" you ask, eager to get started."Let’s go get more corpses!" she says with excitement."Uh, I have one here, take it," you offer, handing her the merchant's corpse."Good, good, this one you do!" she says. "Can you find more corpses for me?""Uh... sure... wherever there’s a village or a road, there’s always more humans," you reply.> Go grab some more humans for the necromancer > Get distrustful and ask for one cow in advance > Leave the cave, forget what you were doing, and go to sleep> Change your mind and eat the necromancer girl boss instead > Write in
>>6173350>> Go grab some more humans for the necromancer
>>6173350>Get distrustful and ask for one cow in advanceME WANT COW NOW
>>6173350> Get distrustful and ask for one cow in advanceI give YOU thing, now you give ME thing!
>>6173350>Get distrustful and ask for one cow in advanceWe need to make sure she HAS cows
>>6173350> Get distrustful and ask for one cow in advance
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>6173357>>6173365>>6173369>>6173381>>61733901 - necromancer has cows2 - necromancer tries to bullshit you
>>6173401You confront the necromancer, distrustful that she has no cows."Me want cow NOW. I give YOU thing, now you give ME thing!"The necromancer girl boss says "My cows are in the village, it is the first farm on the way there, I will use my magic to warn my farmers you are coming, they will let you grab the cow no problem."This is the dumbest shit you ever heard, if she has no cows here how can she has any cows anywhere? How can you have something that you don't have? "I can just walk into village and grab cow anytime. Don't need no necromancer for that!"> Bash silly necromancer head with club> Stuff necromancer and merchant in sack, not hungry now> Eat necromancer, even though not hungry> Write in
>>6173402poop to relieve stress
>>6173402> Stuff necromancer and merchant in sack, not hungry nowGosh we so smart we might even learn how use two clubs! T.W.I.C.E. the bashing! Uninvincibluh!
>>6173404>>6173413Your tummy grumbles and then you tell the necromancer"Look away, I'm gonna take a big shit.""In here? Why don't you go outside...!"It was too late. With a mighty shart, you unleash a flurry of semisolid giant shit that gives the entire cave an unbearable stench - worse than the dead bodies."Ung, that was good one."Then you look at the poor necromancer gasping for air amidst your deadly shart cloud and decide to stuff her and the merchant in sack.Even though you just took a giant shit, you are still not hungry. Guess you need to sleep.But poopy necromancer cave not good place to sleep. You will find a nice hill to sleep on.You stroll outside and you find a nice hill. You lay your sack on the ground and rest your head on top of it and in minutes you're snoring.The sack starts moving weirdly, so you just bash it a bit with your hand to make it more soft and go back to sleep.When you wake up the magnificent show of the constellations is on display. Giants have very good memory and so you know all the constellations."This one is Big Dick. This one is Many Cows. This one is Panicking Humans. This one is...."After you get bored of remembering the constellation names, you remember what your grandpa told you."If someday you need, follow the Big Dig constellation to reach the Giant City!"> Follow the Big Dick> Open your sack to check if the necromancer is alright> Snack on the fat merchant> Write in
>>6173402>Stuff necromancer and merchant in sack, not hungry nowdid we just become an anti-capitalist troll? everything belongs to everyone?
>>6173418> Snack on the fat merchanttime for a quick bite, then off to the big city!
>>6173420You snack on the fat merchant! You notice necromancer is all sleepy inside sack, covered in red water too. Poor thing!You take her out of the sack and grab her staff. You remember seeing a staff like that before, a wizard you ate had one. It has a magic word!"What was magic word again? Ah, me remember!""Zee-Ree-Ghee-Doom", you say, and touch her with the staff.She instantly gets up! She starts trying to bite you though...Bad necromancer!> Eat the necromancer> Bash necromancer in the head and leave> Break silly staff and stuff necromancer back into sack> write in
>>6173421>Bash necromancer in the head and leaveEasy does it now. Let's go check on that village and the cows she mentioned...
>>6173482You bash the necromancer in the head with your club. It was very easy to do.You then head to the nearby village, attracted by the scent of cow manure.But there are no cows! The farmers must have put them in the barn for the night.Though you do see a small treasure!A bunch of magic mushrooms growing in the manure.> Eat the mushrooms> Don't eat the mushrooms> Stuff them in your sack for later> Write in
>>6173496>Eat the mushroomsIf there's no cows, it just makes sense! The world's going to end soon. Might as well enjoy the ride!
>>6173496> Don't eat the mushroomsPoopy mushrooms dirty! No eat!Keep following the constellation instead.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>6173533>>61735671 - eat2 - don't eat
>>6173533>>6173567>>6173688You decide against eating the poopy mushrooms! They gotta be dirty!Instead you keep following the constellation.It leads you to the edge of a swamp!"Swamps be nasty!"Hill giants usually avoid any terrain which is not hills, but you could venture in the swamp if you want, no one will stop you. You never went there, because the place is gross.Around the swamp to the east there is a forest full of elves.To the west, there is some plains and a bunch of humans.> Venture into the swamps> Go around the swamp through the east> Go around the swamp through the west> Write in
>>6173690> Go around the swamp through the westSwamps gross, go around…
