I think I probably do alright in life. I certainly have a lot to be grateful for. But at the end of the day without the right kind of friends, without truly intimate relationships, life simply is not worth living. I'm not going to be rash about this. I don't want this to come off as self-pitying. I tried, I really did, and a part of trying is you get over stuff like self-pity. This isn't some cry for help, this isn't me giving up. I will continue to try, for 500 days I will continue to try. I consider this my last chance to try, and so that should make me try all the more harder. In 500 days I will be 36 years old, I think, given the life I've had, this isn't a bad effort - hell, it means I would have beaten Elliott Rodgers by 14 years.I am not one of these people who idolizes Rodgers. I have been on this board since the very beginning, though this is my first time engaging in tripfaggotry. It didn't start off as a place for incels, it started off purely as an experiment in promoting original content. Initially it appeared to be popular with writers, like 4chan's answer to everything2, but increasingly more posts became self-pitying, often expressing suicidal ideation. When the Isla Vista massacre happened I was appalled, and though I knew I wasn't guilty, I couldn't help but have a crisis of conscience vis-a-vis the communities shared by myself and Rodgers.I do not want to hurt anyone. I do not want to commit spiteful mass murder. I have plenty of money saved, I even own some assets. If I still haven't found a community, if I still haven't found the intimacy I need, if, in 500 days, I still feel so lonely and unaccomplished, I will just spend all my money on drugs and whores until I have nothing left, at which point I will kill myself.I will try to keep you updated daily. Yes, I will use this board as my own personal blog - deal with it. If you would like to join me on this journey, that's up to you. Or you can just call me a faggot. Whatever you like.
Don't give your money to whores That's just being a part of the problemYou're literally rewarding them for putting you in the situation you're in. All according to plan. Anyway I also thought about Elliot Rodger for a bit a few days ago since it's almost been ten years. Not much to say there. It's funny how male virginity and stuff has only gone up but nothing ever really came of it. A lot less mass shootings of the same variety right now than I would have guess if you asked me 10 years ago how many there'd be if things continued down the same path. I guess nothing ever happensYeah anyway I don't come to this board anymore though, since about say about 2016. Drop by once in a while like now for a specific reason, or maybe I'll get bored and spend a couple days here, but otherwise it's too different too many women here now, and I guess this seems to have died down now but back in 2018 or so it was full of unironic trannies trying to get people to transition with their egg talk. But yeah anyway good luck
>>77262184>I will just spend all my money on drugs and whores until I have nothing left, at which point I will kill myself.Anon I am 33 I lived that life in my 20s and I regret it. Have you thought about going to a different country for romance? I am depressed over money mostly now and lack of work. You have been more successful than me and I have not given up.
Keeping a blog for this is good, make it a journal first though, this is public so even if you're anonymous you will restrict yourself a bit.I hope you find something soon, these things always end up surprising you but are like playing lottery a lot of times. Do try to find always the positive in whatever discomfort thing you're doing, and stay safe
