I don't really go on 4chan anymore (especially not /r9k/), but I really don't know where else to say this.Having had two serious long-term relationships (2.5 years & 4 years) both end with the other person cheating on me has completely fucked me up on a level I didn't even realize until very recently. It's been incredibly hard to maintain any sort of faith in humanity in general or women in particular.The new girl at the office has been trying to hit on me for the past 3 weeks and I just don't know how to take it. Had this happened to me when I was a 19 or 25 or something I would've been completely ecstatic and jumped on the chance without a second thought. But now? I just can't do it. I agreed to go on a date with her yesterday, and the entire time I was just trying to catch her lying. I kept treating it like an interrogation, trying to find holes in her stories, or to uncover ulterior motives. What was she after? My money? My emotional stability? Just sex? Was she trying to get back at her ex? Was she lying, and she wasn't single after all, and she was just trying to cheat on her current bf for the thrill?I just couldn't let go. The poisonous distrust had seeped so deep into my soul I had nothing left to hold onto.Despite being a complete scumbag, she wanted to give me a goodbye kiss, and being halfway drunk I agreed. And... There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. No physical or emotional reaction whatsoever. It felt disgusting. Fake. Wrong.I don't know what to do now. I've been clamoring for a relationship my entire life. Getting married and starting a family has been a core ambition for me since at least highschool. And now I'm beginning to realize I might actually just not want to do that. For the first time in my life, I feel like I've internalized the idea of "better off alone".It's weird and disorientating. I just don't know what's wrong with me.
>>77267689>both end with the other person cheating on meWhat kind of harlots are you dating, anon? Anyways, it's sucks, but it's a natural feeling to be distrustful after so many have backstabbed you. I'm really sorry to hear that.
I understand. I thought a relationship was going to help me fix my problems. It did at first, but it ultimately left me completely destroyed. I almost killed myself (or someone else) with drugs, lost like 25 pounds, worked for 6 months for free, got a few stress related chronic illnesses and I lost all of my friends and almost all of my interests. Fortunately, graff remained in my life and it's the only thing that got me through everything and helped me get my life at least 50% back on track. It's tough, but at least the yearning for a relationship is not as strong, I am clean from my vices and I don't feel half bad during the day. There's hope.
>>77267689yeah I don't know what to do either. my last still felt like something but after her lying, not truly caring, and cheating on me because I upset her, I'm done.
>>77267689You do know this is the autism and khv incel board right? Anyway, I assume women will cheat whenever they get the chance.
>>77268441>khv incel boardDude wake the fuck up please.
>>77268487Wow you really don't go on here much. I'm glad your whores cheated on your loser ass. You kissed girls when they still had another guy's cum stuck to their teeth.
Why are men so weak, just 2 times and they call it quits.Just give yourself time to heal, you're not in a marathon against time to get married.
>>77268441>khv boardhalf the threads on the catalog are people complaining about relationships, marriage issues, sex issues, etc. You're delusional if you think this is still an incel board.
>>77268562>just 2 times of spending years getting to know someone and getting emotionally attached only for them to betray you in the worst way possible
>>77267689Sorry to hear. From what you have written you are an oofy-doofy with some awareness. This is rather rare, oofy-doofies have 0 awareness but sometimes they stumble upon the truth, that women do not like them for them but rather for what they can do to/with the oofy-doofy. Try to find joy in knowing that you are smarter now and won't be fooled as easily, however keep in mind you are not going to make things easier on you, it's gonna be significantly harder from now on. When a guy is an incel, sure he learns from an early age that it's over, he might try to cope himself into thinking he is a MGTOW (which admittedly for some might be a good coping mechanism if it gets them to stop simping), normies on the other hand, oofy-doofy men namely, they never quite get it. They use maladaptive coping mechanisms, to make them think it's just some women or that they were unlucky etc. When the reality is that they are not desired and will never be, unless it's a girl, 4-5 points below their looks level, something that simply isn't worth it. So my tip is, try finding joy in other things in life, maybe focusing on work or travelling if possible. It's about the best you are gonna do, because there's very little in the form of the improooovement meme, maybe if you are a 7/10 normie with a good base, otherwise you are gonna need something besides dating. Last but not least, you are a normie and need to gtfo my board
>>77267689I feel you anon. One of my earliest dreams was starting a family of my own, and now I'm so disillusioned with relationships it doesn't even seem worth trying. Basically all of my direct relations have cheated or been cheated on, divorced, and the like. My mom served my dad papers on his fucking birthday, while I was still in high school.It all seems so miserable and hopeless.
>>77268214>What kind of harlots are you dating, anon?I have no idea anymore.The first was just a relationship for relationship's sake. First love, first gf, first time living with a girl, etc. etc. It was weird and wrong from the get go and I ignored a lot of obvious red flags just to get (and stay) in her pants. Even when it was obvious things weren't working out (because we never had much in common to begin with), I kept lying to myself and to her and pretending things are fine. When it happened I was mostly just upset she's gone and done it behind my back without properly breaking up first. Felt awful, yes, but I recovered within half a year, and walked away a better and more confident person.The second one was so much worse. She seemed perfect. Calm, intelligent, funny & sarcastic. Someone I genuinely enjoyed having around as a friend. No obvious warning signs either, nothing to really make me think she's not to be trusted. It wasn't the blazing hormone-fueled extravaganza that the first relationship was like. It felt deeper, more "solid". The relationship's grown somewhat stale in the last year or so, but nowhere near that 'rotten' feeling that the first relationship had. It was (or at least I thought it was) something like "marital bliss". I was seriously contemplating proposing to her at the time.Then it turned out that she's been fucking her "best friend" for something like 4-5 months. Never even got a proper explanation as to why/how it even happened. Felt that something was off, but never even considered her being disloyal. Kept telling myself she so different compared to the first one, so much more stable, that the thing we had together felt so deep and real. And then one day a mutual acquaintance let it slip that he saw them together. I confronted her about it, and she admitted to everything and said it's best if we just broke up. I literally threw up. Collapsed on the floor and couldn't move for hours.God. It's been almost a year.
>>77268659yeah I wouldn't date someone who has a male "best friend"
>>77267689These things are so complex; eventually you'll probably be able to chalk up the bad stuff to bad luck and be more open to new situations.
