>failling college>study far away from home for a long time>always reluctant to call parents bc shame>made practically no meaningful or substantial human connection in the city>develop depression and anxiety>decide to turn life around but have no idea how>for some reason think of the word "Nigger">Focus on that word. Wrote it on a notepad and put on my desk. Now think of "Nigger" all the time>Have anxiety when communicate with classmates --> "Nigger" --> anxiety disappear>Have doubts about far away future in a third world shithole country and the near reality of academic difficulty --> "Nigger" --> Pulled through --> GPA improved>Worn out but don't wanna take actual rest and give up meaningless entertainment --> "Nigger" --> Go to sleep early>"Nigger" --> Began to take interest in now studying major>"Nigger" --> Go out to take part time job, made friend there, participate in society>"Nigger" --> Have more confidence dealing lecturers and teachers and school's shitty bureaucracy>"Nigger" -->Stopped watching those gay ass Japanese cartoon>"Nigger" --> Begins to appreciate the various sides of life everywhere, have a more positive outlook>"Nigger" --> call parents more>"Nigger" --> Began to have a meaningful hobby of sketching ugly ass scenery>Now finishing thesis and hanging out with friends sometimes>If sucess then will graduate this year>Always feel inspired when think about "Nigger". Literally the perfect magic word>Share story with people>Repeat "Nigger" out loud many time in front of everybody>Instantly got shunned, got report, got expelled, even got disowned, gf cheated with other men and break up>All alone again, now working as bricklayer>Homeless>typing from internet cafe daily>Mfw>Fckin nigger
