Taking it easy without sleeping all day
>>77420996Initially planned to starve myself for lunch, turns out there are a couple of things I have to use before they become wasted. So I'll cook rice, again, with chicken and a bit of pepperoni veggies while listening to music.I'm brainfogged, or maybe just a little apathetic, and have a slight surge of anger.
>>77421069(me)>PepperoniDumb, ESL dumb, I meant bell peppers!
>>77421069This reminds me I haven't eaten anything myself yetMaybe i should make some hot pockets...What music r u listening 2 whilst cooking?>>77421069>I'm brainfogged, or maybe just a little apathetic, and have a slight surge of angerWhat's making u angry?
>>77420996I HOPE NIGGERS STEAL YOUR FUCKING ORANGES
>>77421247>This reminds me>I haven't eaten anything myself yetI don't really know if skipping meals would be that healthy, I only assume that since you don't eat you don't put more calories than what you consume, and only consume the excess in your body.>Maybe i should make some hot pockets...Why not cook?>What music r u listening 2 whilst cooking?Nothing in particular, I was jumping from track to track.>What's making u angry?Nothing. Woke up foggy and felt anger going up little by little, that's up to some moments ago: had a shallow argument with my brother and I overreacted. Now I'm thinking about it and I'm just anger-mixed-frustration with myself. Sucks being also like this.
>>77421524>I don't really know if skipping meals would be that healthy, I only assume that since you don't eat you don't put more calories than what you consume, and only consume the excess in your body.yeah i don't eat muchi'm trying 2 put on more weight, but it's not easyi just don't get hungry>Why not cook?There were some leftover ingrediants 4 a kebab, but i've been eating those for that past 2 days so i wanted 2 freshen up a little. Haven't made hot pockets in a while so i thought i'd make some>Nothing. Woke up foggy and felt anger going up little by little, that's up to some moments ago: had a shallow argument with my brother and I overreacted. Now I'm thinking about it and I'm just anger-mixed-frustration with myself. Sucks being also like this.what was the argument about?
>>77416692Ya. It's pretty bad. Been that way since I was 11. I should do something about it.>>77421069Don't starve yourself, that's not the way to lose weight...Bumping https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpwvD8g23BMI used to favor Joy Division when I was more depressed but now I'm happier and feeling New Order more.
>>77421635>i'm trying 2 put on more weight, but it's not easySupplements?
>>77421659>Ya. It's pretty bad. Been that way since I was 11. I should do something about it.yeah like i said earlier, death grip syndrome is no joke...>I used to favor Joy Division when I was more depressed but now I'm happier and feeling New Order more.i still prefer joy division over new order...does that mean i'm still depressed?>>77421662no i don't take any. I'm trying 2 bulk up y just eating
>>77421680>i still prefer joy division over new order... does that mean i'm still depressed?Could be... They are consistently sad, with no moment of rest. At least the Smiths have upbeat songs to balance out the depression songs but JD doesn't.>no i don't take any. I'm trying 2 bulk up y just eatingTaking supplements helped me with my depression. Something to do with protein levels in the body. It worked is all I know for sure.
>>77421635>>77421659>Don't starve yourself, that's not the way to lose weight...>i just don't get hungryCan honestly imagine, my hunger fluctuates from not being hungry at all to wanting to eat a bit more - since, for now, I get to decide if and when to eat I was taking advantage of this to skip meals. Or cook something just to avoid stuff to go bad.It's not recommendable, I know...>what was the argument about?Something pretty superficial. He was coming home with a bag of groceries for me and my father before heading either to work or to my mother, who is stressing him a lot I think. He called me to get out of the apartment so I could quickly pick up the bag, only I was cooking and at the moment I was completely confused/spacing out so I wasn't quite understanding what he was saying. He yelled at me on the phone that I wasn't properly paying attention, and I told him to go fuck himself out of impulse and resumed cooking. So he just brought the bag home himself, coming in a bit but visibly frustrated, and went off again without a word if only for "You have to wake up!".It's superficial but it makes me feel bad.
>>77421693>Taking supplements helped me with my depressionI should probably take them 2 bu i keep 4getting>>77421912>Can honestly imagine, my hunger fluctuates from not being hungry at all to wanting to eat a bit more - since, for now, I get to decide if and when to eat I was taking advantage of this to skip meals. Or cook something just to avoid stuff to go bad.It's not recommendable, I know...did u cook ur salad yet?How did it go?>It's superficial but it makes me feel bad.if it makes u feel bad u can always just apologize 2 him. R u close with ur brother?
>We'll have one of my father's co-workers at dinnerI must disappear...>>77422005>if it makes u feel bad u can always just apologize 2 him. R u close with ur brother?Kinda, we are completely different since he's actually functional and has a job and all. I want him to be well.Apologizing doesn't quite work, he becomes rather petty when he wants to and stuff like this happens - I just wish he would understand me more when I say that I'm not like him and that I don't do well, instead he treats me more as if I was one of his co-workers.
Did you ever get your cinnamon bar?
I didn't get much sleep because I very stupidly stayed up for too long last night. The upside is that the chat bubbles in my game work how they're supposed to now, and just need some finishing touches visually. Now I have no excuses to not draw characters now.Had a work meeting earlier that I didn't really need to be a part of. I might take a nap in a bit and then do some more work.>>77421659>>77421680Be gentle with your wieners. It might fall of if you're not careful. Then you'd be really screwed.
>>77422123Enjoy ur dinner!>Kinda, we are completely different since he's actually functional and has a job and all. I want him to be well.have u ever tried opening up 2 him?>>77422241no>>77422298>>77422298>I didn't get much sleep because I very stupidly stayed up for too long last night.neither did II stayed up all night playing warframe> The upside is that the chat bubbles in my game work how they're supposed to now, and just need some finishing touches visually. Now I have no excuses to not draw characters now.neatur game development is progressing smoothly!>Had a work meeting earlier that I didn't really need to be a part of. I might take a nap in a bit and then do some more work.what was the work meeting about?
>>77422331>what was the work meeting about?How to improve student's technology skills, more or less. Kids these days can't into computers and the university wants to be a leader in that. Seems pretty fruitless if you ask me.I don't teach so there wasn't much I could add.
>>77422561>Kids these days can't into computersthat's weirdi would've assumed the oppositewhy do you reckon that is?
>>77422716>why do you reckon that is?You'd think that, but one of the lecturers was saying that students don't actually know how to use word processors and were typing out citations in the footer instead of using footnotes.I think about this blog post a lot http://coding2learn.org/blog/2013/07/29/kids-cant-use-computers/
>>77422331>Enjoy ur dinner!I can't, am already stressing about it and we'll have it in...I think some hours. Either way I don't want to attend, someone grab me and take me away!>have u ever tried opening up 2 him?It's useless, no one in my family cares for this mental health stuff. I'm alone here...sigh...>I stayed up all night playing warframeWhat's your favorite frame? I have it installed but I don't feel like going into soulless grinding there.>>77422561>>77422899>Kids can't into computers*Me having a computer HS diploma but not understanding tech stuff as much as I should*I should have chosen humanistic studies, maybe it would've been a better course for myself.
>>77422899>You'd think that, but one of the lecturers was saying that students don't actually know how to use word processors and were typing out citations in the footer instead of using footnotes.maybe he was 2 lazy 2 use the appropriate place>I think about this blog post a lot oof that's a lot of wordsmy ADHD rotted brain can't focus>>77423020>I can't, am already stressing about it and we'll have it in...I think some hours. Either way I don't want to attend, someone grab me and take me away!On the plus side, the food might be good...>It's useless, no one in my family cares for this mental health stuff. I'm alone here...sigh...how do you know that? Besides, it doesn't matter. He probably cares about *you*>What's your favorite frame? I have it installed but I don't feel like going into soulless grinding there.I only just started. I picked Excalibur as my starter frame and now i'm just punching ppli lob punching ppl in games
Koishi anon left meI am sad
>>77424108He'll be okay I hopeWill you?
>>77424222>He'll be okay I hopei hope so too. He seemed in a pretty bad place the last time we spoke...>Will you?I'll try tor u still cataloguing those hearings u talked about yesterday?
>>77424282>He seemed in a pretty bad place the last time we spoke...That's the case for a lot of anons, especially on this board. It's upsetting that society allows people to get to that point but I also think it's quite nice that there's a place where people can talk openly about that stuff.>r u still cataloguing those hearings u talked about yesterday?I've not actually started yet, I've been a little out of it today. Thank you for reminding me.
>>77424466>That's the case for a lot of anons, especially on this board. It's upsetting that society allows people to get to that point but I also think it's quite nice that there's a place where people can talk openly about that stuff.I can understand why koishi feels about humanity the way he does>I've not actually started yet, I've been a little out of it today. Thank you for reminding me.If u finish everything this week u can take it easy this weekend!
>>77424706>I can understand why koishi feels about humanity the way he doesMe too. What I learned recently is that culture, geography, and demography probably play a very big role in that. Sometimes you can just live in an area filled with miserable assholes, and you'd be crazy not to have a bleak view of humanity if that's all you were getting. I was very jaded before I moved to a different part of the country and it was shocking how much friendlier people were. Now I've moved back I definitely have a lower view of humanity, despite knowing better.>>77424706>If u finish everything this week u can take it easy this weekend!That's a good point. I'm about half way there so I should be able to get it done tonight if I put in the effort.
life is a game and im losing it
>>77425052It's always nice to see Chaika after all these years
>>77424108I'm sorry anon, but maybe it's for the better.
>>77425031>Me too. What I learned recently is that culture, geography, and demography probably play a very big role in that. Sometimes you can just live in an area filled with miserable assholes, and you'd be crazy not to have a bleak view of humanity if that's all you were getting. I was very jaded before I moved to a different part of the country and it was shocking how much friendlier people were. Now I've moved back I definitely have a lower view of humanity, despite knowing better.What sort of advice would u give 4 ppl like koisher>That's a good point. I'm about half way there so I should be able to get it done tonight if I put in the effort.U got 2 moar days until weekendU can take ur time>>77425263>I'm sorry anon, but maybe it's for the better.No it's not!>>77425052We are all losing it
>>77425297>No it's not!Why not?
>>77425297>What sort of advice would u give 4 ppl like koisherBesides moving to a nicer area, I don't really think there is anything - and moving is much easier said than done. You just have to remain hopeful that your circumstances will change in a way that lets you interact with nice(r) people. You can (and should) seek out opportunities that will change your circumstances, but them going anywhere is pretty much just luck if we're being honest, which makes it very easy to get disheartened.
>>77425336>Why not?Why would it be for the best?I thought these threads made u feel better...>>77425398R u gonna move back 2 that nice place u were living in?
>>77425473>Why would it be for the best?Because I have nothing positive to share.
>>77425473>R u gonna move back 2 that nice place u were living in?I would if I could get a job there. The only problem is it's one of the most expensive cities outside of London, but you get what you pay for.
>>77425570That's not true>>77425747Couldn't you work from home?
>>77425872It's true. Unless you really want me to stay, otherwise you're better off forgetting about me.
>>77426225I really want u 2 stay anon. Ur a fren!Sorry 4 late reply im playing games rn
There's a possibility my PhD offer is getting withdrawn because of an admin error on my part. I think I need a lie down.>>77426225The more the merrier
>>77426694that sounds awful, I hope it get solved, I'm sure it will, administrative things are never that serious
my gf yelled at me for napping all day
yo, it's me again
Dinner with father's coworker is finally over but I indulged in a bit too much liquor and I might be tipsy, but I'm fine I promise I'm fine!Kissu Hu Tao's cheek, Kissu Furina's cheek...>>77423183>On the plus side, the food might be good...My father cooked, it was delicious!>how do you know that? Besides, it doesn't matter. He probably cares about *you*Because when my mother kicked me and my father and brother, and I made known that I cut myself and now each of the basically forgot. No one cares how I do mentally in my family, it doesn't matter. My brother cares for me from the perspective that I have to find a job so I can be independent.>I only just started. I picked Excalibur as my starter frame and now i'm just punching pplExcalibur is a nice starter.>>77424108>Koishi anon left me>I am sadHu Tao poster is missing as well, maybe I'll try to reach to him either tonight or tomorrow morning. The problem is I'm not good at writing as the first so, I don't know, I'll try to leave a bait so he can answer. I just want to make sure he's still alive, I want him to do well I don't want him to end up like me...
Koisher left me againI am sadPlease come back koisher>>77426694Just because of that? That sucks anon... i hope they don't withdraw it>>77427036Maybe ur gf should take it easy>>77427061Hello futaba anonHow have u been?>>77427115>My father cooked, it was delicious!I told u it would be worth it!>My brother cares for me from the perspective that I have to find a job so I can be independent.Maybe they just did not know how 2 help u. If u open up 2 him i'm sure he'd be there 4 u at least>Hu Tao poster is missing as well, maybe I'll try to reach to him either tonight or tomorrow morning. The problem is I'm not good at writing as the first so, I don't know, I'll try to leave a bait so he can answer. I just want to make sure he's still alive, I want him to do well I don't want him to end up like me...I am worried about him as well...
>>77426929>>77427264I've calmed down a little now. The offer came in two parts - I accepted the offer from the grants council but the university sent me a new offer (after I accepted a previous one from them) with that grant funding, but I missed it until a few days after the deadline. I sent a very apologetic email about an hour ago, so hopefully they'll show some mercy. I guess it depends how autistic they are with deadlines. I really don't want to worry about being a NEET again>>77427115>My father cooked, it was delicious!Is the stereotype about Italians being good cooks real? All I know about Italy is that series James May did a few years ago and The Sopranos :^)>Hu Tao poster is missing as wellCall it a hunch but I think that Chaika anon might be him dropping by
>>77427264>I am sadI thought you said you felt no emotions.
>>77427264i been resting and that's pretty much all i do, i been a neet ever since i finished school
>>77427379I am as sad as an emotionally numb baka can beit's still not a good feelingwhy do you want to leave?>>77427346hopefully they're gonna be lenient. Is the missed deadline the only error you made?>>77427395have u played any kewl games lately?
>>77427452i wish, i don't have consoles anymore and this pc can't play nothing, but i been resting more and more latelyand no i can't afford a better pc/laptopand honestly, i always prefered laptop over pcs, but a powerful laptop
>>77427264>Maybe they just did not know how 2 help u. If u open up 2 him i'm sure he'd be there 4 u at leastNo they are just not into it even if they don't know how to approach.>I am worried about him as well...I'm mostly worried because of a suspicion.>>77427346>Call it a hunch but I think that Chaika anon might be him dropping byDon't know who the character is, sorry if I sound rude. I'm just aware that interacting often with people can be draining to some, and maybe he just needs some time for himself like I do myself at times (along with other mine personal reasons). I just want him to be ok.>Is the stereotype about Italians being good cooks real?Cooking is important for us but not every Italian is good at cooking, northerners are questionable for example because they like eating out more than cooing themselves. Southerners do like cooking and is likely the best cooking in our country although a bit heavy.
>>77427452>I am as sad as an emotionally numb baka can beSo it's probably nothing. You'd forget about it in a day or two.>why do you want to leave?Different reasons, but it doesn't matter. I'll be back tomorrow since you requested it.
>>77427452>Is the missed deadline the only error you made?As far as I can tell. The faculty seems to want me for some reason, so they might be able to pull some strings if it goes south.>>77427395Have you thought about volunteering at an animal shelter? I remember you saying that you looked after the family pets
>>77427653i can't, there isn't any animal shelters and i can't drive and when you can't drive, you can't go in many places here
>>77427528I got a laptop, but it's pretty powerfulr u sure u can't play anything?At least u can watch thingswatched anything kewl recently?>>77427629>No they are just not into it even if they don't know how to approach.I remember how u told me about when u opened up 2 ur father and that that was a nice experience 4 umaybe it will be the same with ur brother as wellu don't know that>I'm mostly worried because of a suspicion.what sort of suspicion?>>77427647It will take a little longer than that i'd reckonI may not be emotional but i get attached 2 ppl rather quickly>Different reasons, but it doesn't matter. I'll be back tomorrow since you requested it.It matters. What's bothering u?>>77427653>As far as I can tell. The faculty seems to want me for some reason, so they might be able to pull some strings if it goes south.that's goodwhy do u think they want u?
>>77427773>r u sure u can't play anything?yes>watched anything kewl recently?just watched the AVGN anniversary video
>>77427647>You'd forget about it in a day or two.You'd be surprised. I still think about internet strangers I've not heard from in years quite regularly.>>77427696I'm not allowed to drive either and it really limits what you can do. I imagine it's even worse in North America. I hope you can find a comfy remote job.>>77427773>why do u think they want u?If I had to guess, the law faculty doesn't get many PhD students so they could probably use the money. That or they think the project is interesting.I'd better sleep in a bit. Take care everyone.
>>77427773>what sort of suspicion?I might just be paranoid because of alcohol and my personal stuff and getting attached, but something.
Hello, I am sick again, but now it is a little more serious and annoying, an inflamation in my mouth and now I have a fever. It is some bacteria.
>>77427891goodnight eiki anon>>77427938attached? What do u mean by that?>>77427962hello gura anonhave u tried antibiotics
>>77428126>attached? What do u mean by that?Nothing I'm talking out of my butt.
time 4 bedgoodnight anons>>77428237maybe u should take it easy and get some rest?
my tummy is killing me I think I ate too much chocolate
>>77428294I'll try, I need shleep.
