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Good evening fellas
Here are some useful links for anyone who might need them:

> long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):
https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7

>a first aid post cuting:
https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/

>a wound care guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic

> bpd workbook:
https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read

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Good morning frends, today I woke up in a real good mood. Mania finally seems to have worn off and I thought it was also important to share our little victories. I hope you guys have a nice day
Didn't make time to listen to the tracks that you guys shared with me :< but will get to it when I get home, for sure :>

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>>77422606
Good evening everyone, good evening cat :3
I hope you are doing well buddy. How was your day?

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working from home today and about to go workout for a little bit. Got all my stuff done yesterday, got a haircut, and am getting through more work. Making time for reading again.

>>77422606
hey cat! how are you?
Threads up a bit earlier, you having an easy day over there?

>>77422656
hey nap anon, how's it going?
>I woke up in a real good mood.
i kinda woke up feeling pretty good as well
>I thought it was also important to share our little victories.
always nice of course :> I know a lot of times people find this place when they're not doing great, but always like hearing peoples good times as well as help them in the bad
>Didn't make time to listen to the tracks that you guys shared with me
now i'm curious to go look in the last thread

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heya everyone, im back home
was waiting all day for this thread
it was surprisingly pleasant being in the middle of nowhere
now that im in the big city again my mood dropped again :(
im going to take my film tomorrow most likely to be developed and post some of the results here, the pictures from my phone suck
the "crazy guy" was surprisingly chill, i just coul;dnt understand half the stuff he was saying maybe due to his age or him not speaking much (no one to talk to) or his accent but he seemed fine enough to me

how r u cat? :3

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Hi guys. Phoneposting from uni.
I'm finishing a cigarette and then I'll head into classroom for the exam.
I'm gonna get wrecked so bad it'll even be funny.
Hope everyone's having a great day.

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god all i want is a cute emo self harm bpd girl that i can hold life isn't fair

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>>77422656
Hello nap anon :]
>woke up in a real good mood. Mania finally seems to have worn off and
yay :D
hopefully you feel the way for a long time
>hope you guys have a nice day
thank you
I'm doing okay
>Didn't make time to listen to the tracks
That's okay, no need to rush ^^

>>77422675
Heya DM :>
>hope you are doing well buddy
you too ^^
>How was your day?
pretty alright, I had the whoale last week off so I could relax but now this week I had to go back to uni :<
it's a bit annoying but I'll survive
How have you been?

>>77422751
Hi officeanon c:
>working from home today and about to go workout
sounds like a taking it slow kind of day :>
>Got all my stuff done yesterday, got a haircut
nice :D
>hey cat! how are you?
I'm good, I had less classes today so I could make the thread earlier :3
sadly next week's gonna be more annoying

>>77422840
Heyo Sisyphus :D
very pretty picture :o
>now that im in the big city again my mood dropped again :(
oww rember good day fren :<
you're going to get better, you're gonna see pretty views again
>some of the results here
yes pls :3
>"crazy guy" was surprisingly chill, i just coul;dnt understand half the stuff he was saying
haha sounds like my neighbor
>how r u cat? :3
I'm good, I had less classes that usually today so I had more time to relax

>>77422845
Hi saka ^^
>I'll head into classroom for the exam.
best of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I stopped cutting like 3 months ago but I think I'm gonna start up again because I finally made the decision to kill myself so the scars wont matter. The date I've chosen isn't for a couple months tho so I'm gonna see how deep I can go before then. Hopefully I can hide it from my family :3

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>>77422928
Hi anon
Why do you want to end it?

Hello people,hope everyone is having a good day!
Been reading the thread for the last few days but for some reason I couldn't muster up the courage to reply :(
Voices have been very constant and 'powerful' recently,at least I finally talked to my psychiatrist to up the dosage of my meds
>>77422656
>I thought it was also important to share our little victories.
Very true,happy for you
>I hope you guys have a nice day
You too!
>>77422675
Hey Dm!How are you doing?
>>77422840
>my mood dropped again :(
Hope you feel better soon!
>the "crazy guy" was surprisingly chill
Crazy people are mostly very fun to be around
>>77422845
Best of luck to you Sakamoto!
>>77422908
Hey cat,hope you're doing good

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>>77422606
just go to discord faggots

>>77422751
>now i'm curious to go look in the last thread
Dude, cat left some pretty good hip hop recs, I really didn't take him for the kind to be into underground stuff but from what i've heard they're pretty good!
>>77422840
Welcome back Sisyphus! Glad you had a nice trip, can't wait to see your photographs.
>im going to take my film tomorrow most likely to be developed
I had no idea people could still get film cameras nowadays :0
any reason you go for film over digital? I'm really curious, I remember my uncle once told me they didn't operate in megapixels but he didn't elaborate and I never figured out why is that important
>>77422845
Sakamoto!!
>I'm finishing a cigarette and then I'll head into classroom for the exam.
You make it seem like you're the last romantic in academia. Have you looked into studying methods tailored to your learning type? I'm rooting for you like you were a manga character, lmao, I really want you to beat your professors.
>>77422908
Morning Catto, good to know you're having a good day too.
>hopefully you feel the way for a long time
ahhh hopefully God hears you on this one,thank you for your good wishes
>>77423421
Good morning Nida, nice meeting you! I'm glad you decided to reply today, the more the merrier :)
Got any plans for today?

>>77423449
>nice meeting you! I'm glad you decided to reply today, the more the merrier :)
Nice meeting you too,everyone in this thread is so nice it's always a relief!
>Got any plans for today?
I'm gonna do my best to keep myself distracted,probably listen to music and study

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>>77422675
what's up dm? good to see you

>>77422840
hey sisyphus
> pleasant being in the middle of nowhere
always feels that way. glad you had a nice time
> in the big city again my mood dropped again
feel you there as well :/ hang in there, hope your mood improves.
> "crazy guy" was surprisingly chill
suppose that can often be the case sadly. Definitely need to be careful if you're not sure with people, but a lot of people aren't dangerous, just kinda off and often in a sad kinda way

>>77422845
good luck saka! see you soon

>>77422908
> slow kind of day
not as slow as the previous days were, but the right mix of getting stuff done, without being pressured so i can focus on other things too
>I had less classes today so I could make the thread earlier
always nice. Glad things are going easy for now and good luck with next week. You just more classes or are there things coming up you need to focus on?

>>77423421
hi nida, good to see you again
>I couldn't muster up the courage to reply
it's okay. understand, but hope you feel less uncomfortable since everyone here is nice and pretty understanding
>I finally talked to my psychiatrist
hope you can find some help with it all, no matter what it is that ends up helping.

>>77423538
>probably listen to music
What kind of music you listen to? Got any favorite acts? I enjoy talking about people's favorite music and stuff, so bear with me lol

>>77423449
> cat left some pretty good hip hop recs, I really didn't take him for the kind to be into underground stuff
huh, now i'm even more curious xD a bit outside what i normally listen to, but will go check it out.

how's your work day been? not everyone's super out in the open in, but what do you do anyway if you don't mind me asking? Curious because you mentioned working in an office

Good evening femboys.

>>77423616
>huh, now i'm even more curious xD a bit outside what i normally listen to, but will go check it out.
Riiiight? Really took me by surprise, and it's super good on top of that!
>how's your work day been? not everyone's super out in the open in, but what do you do anyway if you don't mind me asking? Curious because you mentioned working in an office
I don't mind you asking at all, don't worry! it seems like it's gonna be another Heart Gold on the phone kinda day tho, lmao. It's been a slow couple of days but htere are some weeks I don't even have room to breathe. It eludes me how to explain it in english but we provide consumables and surgery equipment for goverment hospitals, so sometimes we have a lot of work and other times we're mostly worried about pretending we're working. Specially since I don't get to do many hospital runs lately, it was more exciting when I was able to go straight to the operation room to deliver some obscure tool in the middle of a surgery xD

>>77423565
>understand,but hope you feel less uncomfortable
gonna try my best,i'm just awful at socializing even online
>hope you can find some help with it al
Thanks <3
>>77423577
>What kind of music you listen to?
I listen to a lot of random stuff,i love old music from the 70's and 80's like Raul Seixas,Legiao Urbana,Belchior ,Ze Ramalho,basically old people music
But i also really love metal and noisy stuff,i've been listening to PaleFade daily ever since i discovered them,good stuff!

>>77423755
>Raul Seixas,Legiao Urbana,Belchior ,Ze Ramalho
Oooooh lot's of Brazilian acts, that's actually pretty cool. I've been meaning to get into brazilian music for a while not but besides Jobim i never really knew where to turn next so I will definitely give them a listen to broaden my horizons, so thanks for the reccomendations!
Pretty solid Nida, preeeeetty solid
>But i also really love metal and noisy stuff
reminds me of my middle school algebra teacher, he was reaaaaaally into Sepultura, are they any good? Metal has never been much of my style so I always wondered

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>>77423421
Hello nida ^^
>couldn't muster up the courage to reply
That's okay, everybody needs a rest
just remember that we all like you and you're always welcome to post ^^
>Voices have been very constant
I'm sorry :<
hopefully the nrw meds help
>cat,hope you're doing good
yes I'm doing quite well at the moment :3

>>77423428
no
discord servers are horrible and also you can't post there anonymously plus it'll be harder ro find this place for new people
It's not like qe only talk about ourselves, I make sure (at least try) to reply to everyone and start a conversation wo they don't feel left out

>>77423449
>hopefully God hears you on this one
yup, hopefully the big guy upstairs listens
>thank you for your good wishes
you're welcome
have a nice work day :>
what kind of stuff are you going to do when you get home?

>>77423565
>the right mix of getting stuff done
glad to hear everything is going well :>
>good luck with next week.
thank you very much
I suspect I'll get an exam or two and one of the chill profs got sick so we might have classes with a new guy who's "difficult"

>>77423688
dubs
Good evening anon
how you doing?

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>>77423688
evening femboy anon, how's life been going?

>>77423718
>super good on top of that!
damn that was pretty good. have to have a word with yuanon when he shows too lol. My music taste is pretty boring. Grew up with pretty standard punk rock, into metal and grungy music these days, with some interest in different electric/edm genres because i always wanted (and am trying but failing) to produce it
>don't worry!
it's kinda boring, but i like talking about work lol
>Heart Gold on the phone kinda day tho
never been huge into pokemon, but i was silver a little back in the day and picked up soul silver back when they did those re-releases but can respect you going with gold :>
> I don't get to do many hospital runs lately
ooh, so you actually have to run out and drop off the equipment sometimes, but usually hang around the office board these days? Interesting
>straight to the operation room to deliver some obscure tool in the middle of a surgery
too intense for me xD lol i like my low risk development job

>>77423755
> just awful at socializing even online
i'm gonna sound like an old man saying this, but i used to be too when i was younger. Used to worry about every single thing i said or put out there for people to see. But most people aren't bad and can kinda relate. So at least know it's okay and other people understand what it's like

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Hey everyone! I slept for like 14 hours lol.

>>77422606
>How are you doing?
Really bad. I feel like I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown.
>Any plans for today?
If I don't implode then I'm going to meet with some people about research they're doing on bpd patients and then I'm having dinner with a friend.
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
Years ago, but I might again tonight.
>Why did you hurt yourself?
At the time I was just upset that there weren't any interested women in my life.
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
My apartment is a mess and I need to clean it in the next few hours but I just cannot bring myself to do it. I am a failure at work, I have no career plans or future, and women want nothing to do with me. I just want to die.

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>>77424141
Hello Ali ^^
>slept for like 14 hours lol.
wow
did you have any dreams?
How are you feeling now?
intuition is telling me that a sleepy that long would only make you tired

>>77424170
Heya Schizo
>Really bad. I feel like I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown.
:<
maybe you could sit down get something cold to drink and watch some silly cat videos
https://youtu.be/7iN7GG3oXbA?si=fNA4fis-ztrQH3wC
Maybe it'd help you relax?
>If I don't implode
hope you don't
>then I'm going to meet
sounds cool
maybe if you don't feel like going, don't go
Only thing worse than having a breakdown in your apartment is having a breakdown in public
>might again tonight.
stay strong bud
>have no career plans or future, and women want nothing to do with me
me lol
Sorry to hear you're struggling so much fren
Is there something I could do to help you out a bit?

Hi friends I hope everyone is doing well. It's been storming all day and has been a pretty comfy vibe.

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It was a fucking disaster. I'm so fucking stupid. The exam wasn't even hard. I'm gonna get home and destroy my back with my belt, I fucking deserve it.

>>77424223
>Is there something I could do to help you out a bit?
Just keep talking to me I guess
>maybe if you don't feel like going, don't go
I feel like I have an obligation to go

Sorry I might not be the most interesting conversationalist

It's me btw

>>77424314
Meant to reply do my post
>>77424266

I'm beyond stupid

>>77423826
>thanks for the reccomendations!
You're welcome!
>Sepultura
They're great,I started listening to them because of my stepfather a few months ago and I don't regret it
>>77424061
>just remember that we all like you and you're always welcome to post ^^
>hopefully the nrw meds help
Thanks for always being supportive cat,You're amazing
>yes I'm doing quite well at the moment :3
Good to hear 'v'
>>77424129
>So at least know it's okay and other people understand what it's like
Thanks for the advice old man!
>>77424141
Hi Gator,sounds like you had an amazing night

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morning guys i think today i can finally post more than once.. maybe... how are yall?

>>77424328
I've lurking this thread recently and now I'm emotionally invested. Would tell how you study? what you do? and also can you point Where you fail in the exams?
is it in all the classes?
Only in the exams but the stuff at home is no problem? Is it a memory thing?

I would like to help you.

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>>77422606
>Hello everyone :>
hellooo catbro! ^^

>Hope this wednesday is treating you well
no. no, it didn't. it's over though. moving on.

>>77422656
hey napanon!

>today I woke up in a real good mood. Mania finally seems to have worn off
that's great. :D glad you had a good day.

>I hope you guys have a nice day
eh...

>but will get to it when I get home, for sure :>
take your time. no need to rush. listen to the first half of the album you recommended me on the way home and have to finish it. might have something to recommend you based on that, though.

>>77422675
good evening dm! (^-^)

>>77422751
hey officeanon! :D

hope your workout went well and good to see you're getting stuff done. what's next on your reading list?

>>77422840
hey sis!

>it was surprisingly pleasant being in the middle of nowhere
my parents always went to the same remote place in italy for out vacations and at some point me and my brother asked to do something else and go for some sort of resort on gran canaria. we asked to go to italy again next year... ^^'

>>77423421
hi nida!

>Been reading the thread for the last few days but for some reason I couldn't muster up the courage to reply :(
it do be like that sometimes. i always have to get over that initial mental block when i didn't post for some time.

>at least I finally talked to my psychiatrist to up the dosage of my meds
hope it helps.

>>77424129
>good on top of that!
damn that was pretty good. have to have a word with yuanon when he shows too lol
what did i do? D:

>>77424141
hey gator! don't worry. you need that kind of sleep when you're younger.

>>77424170
hey anon! hope you can avoid the breakdown, but maybe it wouldn't be to bad if you found a way to get those emotions out somehow.

>>77424238
hi foxy!

>It's been storming all day and has been a pretty comfy vibe.
now i'm jealous. ^^ could really do with something like that right now...

>>77424266
sorry, dude. :/ don't be to hard on yourself.

>>77424061
i meant just make a /cut/ discord most of you dont post anonymously anyways

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>>77424438
hey gal! good to see you again! :D how's it going?

>how are yall?
i had a pretty rough day, but other than that it's alright. just want to get this day over with. gladly it's a holiday tomorrow and i got friday off. :>

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>>77424223
>did you have any dreams?
Yeah it was about my mom seeing my razor. Did you have a dream?
>How are you feeling now?
I'm okay, I am very tired. I am starting to feel a little numb.
How are you feeling cat?

>>77424341
>Hi Gator,sounds like you had an amazing night
Hey nida. Yeah it rained so it was really nice. How was your night?

>>77424576
>hey gator!
Hey yuanon!
>you need that kind of sleep when you're younger.
Yeah I guess so :)

Im probably just gonna lay on my bed for the rest of the day. See ya tomorrow everybody.

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>>77422908
Sometimes having things like uni or work can help, right? A coherent day schedule goes a long way.
>How have you been
I'm doing pretty ok. I'm staying at my mom's. She bought me some scented candles so now I'm sitting configuring my linux distro by candlelight. I had a pretty bad psychotic breakdown yesterday and scared her with my rambling so she made me call in sick today. I feel really bad, i feel like I don't deserve her.
>>77422840
Hi sis, really nice photo. You have an eye for composition
>>77423421
Hi Nida, sorry to hear that. Do you think it's seasonal maybe? I don't really know anyone with schizophrenia irl so I'm not well versed on it, but it sounds horrible :<
Mental illness in general is much more horrific from the inside than it looks sadly
>How are you doing?
Pretty ok, just chillin out. Probably going to play something with my friends into the night.
>>77423565
Hey officeanon :>
>>77423688
Hi anon
>>77424141
Hey gator ^^
Sounds lovely haha
>>77424170
Hey anon. That's very familiar, I know how cliche it sounds but there are always at least a couple girls out there that would be into you no matter what, it just takes some searching sadly. The dinner plan sounds nice btw ^^
>>77424238
Hey foxy :P
>>77424266
You aren't stupid saka, just unprepared. It happens to the best of us, trust me.

i feel like things are beginning to fall apart again, but in a new way
my depression has been getting a lot better over the past year, and it's manifesting in some very measurable ways
been losing weight, getting into the gym, spending more time with people, making friends, generally just engaging with life
what's eating away at me, what's new, is this feeling seeping in
the more i engage with the real world, spend time with more average people, make friends with people around my age, the less human i feel
i just feel so fucking out of place, i struggle so much to even comprehend some of the things people seem to think and feel, can't even begin to pretend i can actually empathise with them in any meaningful way
i've always known i wasn't "normal", i thought i had accepted that i was never going to lead what i expect people consider to be a normal life, i thought i was okay with myself
but the more time i spend around people, the more i engage with the real world, the more i feel it's been shoved in my face just how fucking out of place i am
i feel dehumanized, foreign, incompatible
inhuman

>>77424684
>there are always at least a couple girls out there that would be into you no matter what
they might exist but I don't know how to meet them

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>>77424684
Jesus I forgot about that pic, I meant to post my usual statue lol

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>>77424238
Hi foxy
>storming all day and has been a pretty comfy vibe.
nice :3
have a comfy time in your tent
Here it stormed last night

>>77424266
pls don't be so hard on yourself bud
you said tose things last time and it turned out to not be so bad
pls at least wait till your get your results

>>77424269
>Just keep talking to me I guess
oky :3
so, have I ever asked you about you hobbies? what kind of things do you like to do??
>feel like I have an obligation to go
I'd suggest trying to get rid of that feeling somehow
it'll only make you feel worse
>might not be the most interesting conversationalist
don't worry about it ^^
let's just talk, it's not a competition fren :>

>>77424341
>Thanks for always being supportive cat
no probs :>
I hope it helps you guys feel a little better
>Good to hear 'v'
thanks and what's better is the the week after the next week might be off for me too :D

>>77424438
Hiya Gal
>think today i can finally post more than once
I hope that means you're doing better
>how are yall?
pretty good
under my blanky rn watching crap on my phone :3
How are you?

>>77424576
Hey yuanon :D
>. it's over though. moving on.
true today doesn't deserve to be though about
Let's think about something else
What are you doing now? hope you're busy being comfy?
Oh btw I got a different bag I ordered for the bike :3

>>77424583
I just dislike discord
sorry

>>77424671
>it was about my mom seeing my razor.
ooo can you tell me more?
I had a dream like this too, wanna hear?
and a situation like this almost happen to me irl, wanna hear about that too?
>Did you have a dream?
nope but it was a nice sleep
>am starting to feel a little numb.
ow :<
>How are you feeling cat?
I'm god though feeling a bit tired too and also a little overwhelmed because I just remembered I had to do a couple things and I forgot and maybe I should make them now

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>>77424684
>coherent day schedule goes a long way.
for some people
sadly I it makes me just feel drained and I can't do stuff I'd want to do
I don't kinda have my own day/night schedule and uni/work just interferes with that
>configuring my linux distro by candlelight
sounds like a good time ^^
stay comfy fren
>pretty bad psychotic breakdown
glad you're better now
>feel really bad
don't
instead try to feel grateful^^

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>>77424684
>Hey gator ^^
Hey dm :)

>>77424879
>can you tell me more?
There's not much more to say, i sadly never can really remember my dreams.
>had a dream like this too, wanna hear?
I would love to hear about that. :)
>and a situation like this almost happen to me irl, wanna hear about that too?
If course!
>a bit tired too and also a little overwhelmed
Oh that sucks.
>maybe I should make them now
You should do whatever makes you happy.

>>77424651
its okay. im just tired today. wanna sleep forever.
>>77424879
im tired and wanna sleep and never wake up

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>>77424671
see you tomorrow!

>>77424708
i get you. the more normal i appear the less i can relate to the people around my. i just don't share most of their concerns in a way that would be relatable to them.

>>77424879
>Let's think about something else
my brain is quite done, so thinking about anything will be quite the challenge. ^^

>What are you doing now? hope you're busy being comfy?
kinda. just chilling on my couch with a
stream as background noise. still a little agitated from today, but i think that will be gone soon.

>Oh btw I got a different bag I ordered for the bike :3
nice. how is it?

>>77424918
welcome back. :>

>>77422606
Genuine question
Why do you people cut yourself?
The only thing I would cut is my carotid
But thats way harder than I imagined and that are better methods to go away
Maybe if end homeless that's the last resort

>>77424879
>so, have I ever asked you about you hobbies? what kind of things do you like to do??
I have a canned fake answer to this, but the truth is that I don't really have any hobbies. I don't enjoy doing anything anymore.
>feel like I have an obligation to go
I'm so fucking exhausted and my apartment is such a mess, I feel like I have to go because I'm worried about what my friend would think if I didn't

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>>77424978
same. now that i've been home for while, i just want to go to bed. you still at work?

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>>77424993
>welcome back. :>
Yeah lol. I'm actually going now. See ya

>>77424061
>how you doing
Very good my precious femboy. What about you?

>>77424576
>hope it helps.
I'm bopeful it will
>>77424671
>How was your night?
Can't complain,slept like a rock and woke up earlier than normal
>>77424684
>Do you think it's seasonal maybe?
I don't know,I've been feeling pretty normal for the past 2 years,but suddenly it came back like a truck
>Mental illness in general is much more horrific from the inside than it looks sadly
It sucks trying to explain what is happening to my mom and my friends,especially since my friends meet me when I was doing fine,now I have to explain what is happening and hope they don't treat me differently
>Probably going to play something with my friends
Have fun!

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Just got home. I'll now treat myself to the belt and the plastic bag at the same time
>>77424533
It's in all classes because I'm stupid.
From now on I'll follow pic related guidelines for studying. I will not allow bad performance. My performance must be excellent.
The fact that I can't get excellent performance makes me wanna punch myself in the head until I get brain damage.
I don't really look back at the exams after doing them.
At home I can perform well most of the time, but during exams I always get wrecked.
Fuck me, I want someone to cut my balls off and make me swallow them making me suffocate with my balls on my throat.
I'm an abomination, stupid low IQ cunt, low GPA piece of shit. I want to get beaten to death.
>>77424576
>don't be to hard on yourself.
I'm not even being hard enough. If I were to be fair with myself I would torture myself with a hot knife, cut off my limbs and then kill myself.
>>77424684
>You aren't stupid saka, just unprepared. It happens to the best of us, trust me.
That's why I'll follow new study guidelines. And if I keep failing, poor me will get the belt on the back
>>77424879
>pls at least wait till your get your results
I can tell when I'll get wrecked by an exam.

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>>77424061
>glad to hear everything is going well
gonna be super busy next few days D: but got some weekend plans to look forward to as well
>got sick so we might have classes with a new guy who's "difficult"
that always sucks :/ hopefully not for too long and good luck if you have any exams

>>77424170
hey schizo. Know things are tough, but hang in there. Always a way forward, even if it doesn't seem like one

>>77424238
hey foxy
> storming all day
actually finally got a nice day here finally

>>77424266
go on easy on yourself. You knew it was going to be tough going in and expected a tough time, but you as the others have said you don't knew just yet.
Can't stop you from doing what's next, but please be careful not too seriously hurt yourself

>>77424341
>Thanks for the advice old man!
xD

>>77424438
hey gal good to see you as always
know you're going through tough times, but we're always here for you if you need to let anything out. Know it doesn't help much, but still

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>>77424708
Hi anon
glad to hear at least some of your mental issues have gotten better
>feel so fucking out of place
I have similar experiences
the stuff I care about, value and want from life is a lot different from what the standard person thinks
>feel dehumanized, foreign, incompatible
>inhuman
Maybe you just need time? hope you realize one day that it's okay to be different and others people opinion doesn't really matter
Also even though you're so different people want to spend time with you, why is that?
I think you shouldn't feel like an outcast
maybe people like that you're different?

>>77424918
>sadly never can really remember my dreams
that's usually the case
When I wake up I usually try to piece quickly a story about what was happening in the dream and find a couple of words that relate to the dream like
>sniper, teacher, bike, torture
or
>lighthouse, night, razor, bed
>would love to hear about that. :)
okay
so I'll tell you about what I remember
I was in an old looking bare room, it was at night and in front of me was a bed and a window above it and through the window I could see a rocky coast and a working lighthouse, the light from it would periodically go through the window and light up the room I was in
I ducked to see what was under the bed and I saw a razor under there and I immediately knew I had to hide it, then a door behind me opened and I think my mom entered the room and was ask me what I was doing and I was just making excuses so she doesn't look under the bed and see the razor
>If course
I'll reply to this in next post

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>>77424918
>If course
so I usually would hurt myself in the bathroom because I could lock the door and could clean and patch myself up immediately after cutting and one night at around 1am I finished cutting, cleaned up and left the bathroom and my brother went there right after I left, then I put my hand in my pocket and I got stressed because I couldn't find my razor in there and I was sure I left the razor in there and what's worse I left bloody toilet paper in the toilet unflushed which paints a pretty clear picture of what I was doing so I thought I was fucked

So I waited for my brother to leave and I rushed in there, no razor, no blood
I got even more stressed that he took it
But then I remembered that I did flush and I put the razor in my wallet, I just went autopilot mode after cutting and I forgor lol :p
>You should do whatever makes you happy
that's good advice
thank u
I decided to take it slowly and do those things I had to do

>>77425339
unfortunately yes i am..

>>77425573
it helps more than you know

>>77422606
What is the best way to get scars with the least amount of effort

>>77425723
henna

>>77425746
it doesn't last long, I need actual scars.

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>>77425583
That dream sounds like a really nice place to be. But that would be scary trying to hide a razor.

>>77425642
That sounds like a terrifying position to be in, thank God it was just in your head and he couldn't have seen anything.

Im actually going now goodbye everyone. :)

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>>77424978
>wanna sleep and never wake up
:c
take good rest when you get home
Btw doesn't ur bf visit you this month?

>>77424993
>thinking about anything will be quite the challenge. ^^
mine too
maybe just take it easy for tonight and turn your brain off
>still a little agitated from today, but i think that will be gone soon.
yup dw
soon it'll just because the past and you'll forget about it
>how is it?
it's quite a bit smaller than the last one but it'll work fine, probably
can't tell yet

>>77425217
>Why do you people cut yourself?
it distract you from problems
it's hard to think about whatever's bothering you when you actively bleeding and in pain
It has to be like a primal response to focus your attention only on the current injury rather than others issues

>>77425318
>truth is that I don't really have any hobbies.
> I don't enjoy doing anything anymore.
anymore? have enjoy enjoyed things in the past? what were they and why not anymore?
>feel like I have to go because I'm worried about what my friend would think if I didn't
I feel the your friend would be okay with you take a break because you're not mentally well
They're your friend after all

>>77425401
>Very good
oh nice
did something good happen?
>What about you?
eepy

>>77425560
>can tell when I'll get wrecked by an exam
in my opinion you're overestimating your abilities and are too hard on yourself

>>77425573
>gonna be super busy
stay strong ;-;
>weekend plans
oh! what plans?
>good luck if you have any exams
Thank you

>>77425723
I don't want to encourage you to cut
It depends on a person, for me I get scars easily even from minor cuts, (unless it's on my hands)
Why do you want scars anon?

>>77425811
>It depends on a person, for me I get scars easily even from minor cuts, (unless it's on my hands)
>Why do you want scars anon?
BPD is kicking back in full gear and Idk how to deal with it other than this, sadly scars dont form easily on my skin but I want the scars those are the parts I like the most.

Its my way of showing the world I deserve to live in a way, its not like I show them on purpose of course I hide them from family... but its a statement sort off.

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>>77425662
drat. :/ any plans for tonight? did you guys have that movie night you talked about?

>>77425806
or maybe just stay a while longer? it's up to you. ^^

>>77425811
>maybe just take it easy for tonight and turn your brain off
it's time for bed soon anyway. (~.~) stream doesn't help much, either. they're just playing some weird isometric open world crafting action rpg. there's way too many of those...

>soon it'll just because the past and you'll forget about it
forget about what?

>probably can't tell yet
do send a pic when you put it on. :> what do you intend to put in there anyway?

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>>77424576
hey yuanon!
>hope your workout went well
yeah it did. Thinking of adding some more variation in, but not sure now is he best time to be modifying things, but will see..
>next on your reading list?
Divine Comedy like I've been meaning to get to. Have to work my way down that classics reading list I froze up on a while back.
>what did i do? D:
you're not in trouble, i was just very amused when you recommended nap anon babymetal lol

>>77424671
hey gator!
>See ya tomorrow everybody.
bye gator xD

>>77424684
>>77424720
i did think it seemed a bit unusual for you, but your reaction made me laugh a sec lol

>>77424708
hi anon
i can relate to the inhuman feeling. Honestly I still feel that way most days and don't know if it'll go away. But even if you're not normal, you shouldn't let it mess with you keep you from enjoying stuff. Maybe it'll be a little hard, but you can be normal in some ways maybe and do things make you feel a little better. Just spend too much time worrying with these particular thoughts, though know i do the same

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>>77425988
>yeah it did.
awesome

>Thinking of adding some more variation in, but not sure now is he best time to be modifying things, but will see..
you've got to change it up a little at some point, but finding the right time, especially when you found a good routine, is tricky.

>Divine Comedy like I've been meaning to get to. Have to work my way down that classics reading list I froze up on a while back.
i think i read it ages ago and don't remember anything about it. :/ maybe i should look for my copy.

>you're not in trouble, i was just very amused when you recommended nap anon babymetal lol
just love their energy. :>

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RIgjfGHgwDc

>>77425583
>I have similar experiences
sorry to hear that anon, but i'm glad that it doesn't seem to be affecting you in a similar way
>Maybe you just need time?
as time goes on, the more people i interact with, the more i'm exposed to people from all different walks of life the worse it gets
>hope you realize one day that it's okay to be different and others people opinion doesn't really matter
it's not other peoples opinions or actions which are leading me to feel this way, it's coming from within
>I think you shouldn't feel like an outcast
>Also even though you're so different people want to spend time with you, why is that?
i don't feel like an outcast, because like you mentioned people do want to spend time with me
i've been experiencing the opposite of being excluded, people wanting to be more intimate with me, wanting to spend more time with me, engaging with me
the moment i'm away from people my mind goes dead, i'm exhausted, all i want to do is remain alone
the issue comes from within, not from other people judging me or treating me harshly because of who i am
i'm definitely guilty of acting like a social chameleon, it's not something i do consciously but i do find myself just slipping into the role i feel like i should play
but i don't lie to people, i don't make up things to fit in, i'm still me
i've opened up to a few people in real life about these feelings, laid it all out honestly, and they didn't push me away or treat me poorly because of it
i'm not an outcast
i just don't want to be there
i just feel like i don't belong
it's eating away at me

guys who cut are hot

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>>77425806
goodnight Ali

>>77425876
>parts I like the most.
oh, well I don't think you should cut but if you really want to then at least please make sure to stay safe
Disinfect the blade and the area you want to cut and afterwards clean yourself up with water and patch yourself up well
>statement sort off.
maybe you should get a tattoo?

>>77425949
guess it's time to eep
>what do you intend to put in there anyway?
hm phone, wallet, water, maybe a flannel shirt in case it gets cold , a multi tool
wel I already put those things in there to test and it fit those well


I'll sleep now
goodnight everybody :3
byee

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>>77426480
>guess it's time to eep
definitely is.

>I already put those things in there to test and it fit those well
seems like a keeper, then. :> now all it has to do is look the part...

i'm off to bed as well. good night, everyone!

>>77425560
I get that you are gonna do 12h studying, but how you do it? you just go over your notes and read them over and over? do exercises?
>I don't really look back at the exams after doing them.
This is a big mistake, and i know is hard, but you can ask you teacher for the correct answers so you know in which point is where you fail.
>At home I can perform well most of the time, but during exams I always get wrecked.
Maybe you also should consider some sort of meditation to help you calm down, many people fail exams because they get nervous at the thought of it being an exam
>I'm an abomination, stupid low IQ cunt, low GPA piece of shit. I want to get beaten to death.
I bet you are none of this things because you got in the university, if you were any of those you couldn't set foot inside