>Know I was raped/molested as a kid>I can remember the taste of his cock. >I can remember the feeling of his pubes against my face>I can remember how the cum tasted>I can't remember who did itLife is suffering, and death is the only escape. I will never heal from this. I don't care what MD professionals believe; they're wrong. Nothing can ever "heal" what has happened to me and the damage it has done to my mind.
>>78028795let it never be said romance is dead cause there so little else occupying my head
just get over it. no amount of dwelling on it can unrape you.
>>78029029jump off a roof ami
>>78028795Sounds like you wanted it to happen, if it was oral rape you could've just bitten down on his cock as hard as possible but you didn't.
>>78029083You're not wrong. I did it and never told anyone. I accepted the pain and the person who did it will have their reward in full.
>>78028795also got molested, can remember, it was a family member, went public years later, they got everything they ever wanted in life and I think about killing myself daily, I don't have any close friends, no s/o, both parents are huge narcissists so they don't so much hate me for me as they hate me as a matter of course for being living proof that they're shitty people and parents. First thing my stepmom said when she talked to me about it is "we didn't tell (abuser) because they had a test and really need to focus on studying" can't make this shit up.Stay angry. Use it. Don't fly off the handle like a retard. That's all the advice I have for you. If you don't have a job get one, if you don't have a plan to get educated and pursue a career start drafting one now and don't let anyone or anything dissuade or deflect you.
>>78029083Seconding this OP. I think you were asking for it.
>>78028795Knowing who did it doesn't make anything easier. I was molested by a family member and have never been able to move on from it, I can't even talk about it in therapy. I'm going to kill myself soon.
>>78029505People like that are why I'm misanthropic. I'm pretty sure my father was raped as a child (Probably at church or relative) and that's why he's such a emotionally stunted narcissistic retard covered in shitty tattoos (body shame) and a alcoholic. I have a hard time feeling sorry for him because he refuses to admit what happened to him and actually work on his issues. Atleast you guys admit it and are trying to heal and move on. I stopped talking to my father years ago because he's so toxic pathetic, delusional and hopeless. I can't wait until he and his parents finally die and are just gone and done with. His fat fucking retarded trump cultist parents just rot in their house watching tucker carlson all day. 91 years old and still won't fucking die. They're horrible people and severely messed up all 4 of their children. My grandfather has both shoulders, both knees and both hips replaced and he has only one eye left, is on oxygen and the dumbass still won't die. My mother has FAS also a narcissistic retarded petty asshole. Just focus on yourself guys and try to heal and move on how you can. As you said use the anger to better your situation.
>>78028795Anon just know you're not alone though for me it's>I can't remember anything >Just remember I used to have a lot of weird anal pain>Remember I used to bleed a lot anytime I took a shit even if it didn't hurt>Suddenly became afraid to go to the bathroom, specifically to shit>Dad would make vague creepy sexual remarks about me and my ass>Very sexually active at an early age, chronic masturbator by 7>At that age too I would show myself online Well I should say I'm not 100% sure but all this stuff connects in a weird way, I was molested too but that was way later. I just don't know. But also anon you may not "heal" but you can always move past it. The pain will stay but you'll still live, discover new things and find joy in the world.
>>78028795i was molested by 2 different men at different times of my life and i remember who both of them are (sorta, one was a neighbor but i dont remember his name) but remember almost no detail about what happened except some vague details like where i was while it happened. i dont think it helps much not remembering the details because im still damaged beyond repair
