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I'm 19 turning 20 and i'm deathly afraid of becoming a jobless NEET with no life skills but i've done nothing to fix it, ever since I was 17 I would apply for jobs once summer starts but after a week I would just give up and play video games/draw all day (my drawings look like shit), my parents love me and so far have no problem with my life but honestly the thought of me NEETing off them in my late 20s/30s while they're working in their 60s breaks my heart. I know realisticly that i'll probably get a job next summer (this summer I actually have an excuse for family reasons I won't get into) no matter how shitty it is, but this looming feeling is telling me that it won't really work out and that i'll probably have to rely on my parents money one way or another. I also feel like i'm not an adult and I never will be, I still think the same way I have ever since I was 14. I wanna say i'm too young to be thinking like this but once I start saying that i'll probably be repeating it in my head for years until its too late. I'm a 2nd generation immigrant too so that probably makes it feel much worse, knowing my parents had a way worse childhood then me and worked hard to get into a country with opportunities and instead of working hard to make the best of the effort they put in I spend my days jerking off and doing fuck all. Anyway thank you for reading my blogpost I've been feeling weirdly guilty for just being alive as of lately so I just needed to vent a little.