Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual supportuhh its so hot lately Hey o/>Any plans for today?>When was the last time you hurt yourself?>Why did you hurt yourself?>Is there anything bothering you right now?
Useful links for anyone who might need them:> long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7> first aid post cuting:https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/>a wound care guide:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic>a bbpd workbook:https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read> the illustrated self harm care guide (thank you Sisyphus!)https://styro.sh
>>78150749hi cat! :3 how are you this morning?
>>78150900Heyo galaxy :D>how are you this morning?it's actually evening for meToday was pretty nice and I even managed to go on a little bike ride Now I think I'm gonna just chill and eat some ice cream :3How are you today??
Hey folks.I started working on a new song.But I won't be working on it today. I'll only allow myself to work on it when I'm drinking. Preferably drunk. I won't be drinking today, need to save the booze until tomorrow and Tuesday.
>>78151014>evening for me:o woah, big time difference>how are you?im good today. i cut my hair and im probably gonna play some shadow of the colossus here in a bit>>78151034i didnt know you made music :o
>>78150749>uhh its so hot lately hope you have a fan on and something cold to drink. :> here it hasn't been that hot the last couple of days, but it's still very humid because of the rain. :/ >Hey o/hey catbro! how was your weekend? >>78150900hey gal! what's up? >>78151034hey saka! >I started working on a new song.cool. what's it about?
i saw the title and was concerned, thank god this isn't like fetishizing self-harm. (why that's a thing to begin with, idfk)
>>78151386hey anon! thanks for your concern! feel free to hang out if you like. (^-^)>why that's a thing to begin with, idfkscarification as body modification has been around for quite some time, so i guess there's something about it that speaks to people on a very base level.
>>78151034Hello saka :>>working on a new song.wow!!please please it to us when you're done with it ^^>allow myself to work on it when I'm drinkingwhy?>>78151117>:o woah, big time differenceyeah it's pretty big D;rn it's 8:40pm here>good today. that's very nice ^^>probably gonna play some shadow of have fun :D>>78151214Hi yuanon ^^>hope you have a fan on and something cold to drink. :>yupp B3drinkin some cold apple juice >still very humid because of the rain. :/high humidity sucks you get sweaty and can't dry out >how was your weekend?quite okeyI was on a bike ride today now just chilling How are you today?>>78151386Hi anon>god this isn't like fetishizingyeah we're not supporting that crap I suppose it's fine if someone wants to do that to themselves but trying to convince others is completely not okay btw, how was your day anon?
>>78151386>>78151722caught some sorta bug that's got me in for a bad time, boy am i glad that ibuprofen exists
>>78150749Hi everyone, how's your day today guys :)>Any plans for today?It's eve for me so not really :/>When was the last time you hurt yourself?Couple days ago, I don't really remember when exactly>Why did you hurt yourself?I wanted to feel anything, be sure I'm alive>Is there anything bothering you right now?Well not really, I'd like to go for a smoke just rn, since it's nice weather outside during eves, but I realized I run out of cigs ;'/
>>78151117>i didnt know you made music :oI don't. But I felt like it.>>78151214>cool. what's it about?Being drunk and miserable. And stinking of cigarettes.>>78151722I might post it on youtube idk.>why?Because I'm a bit less dysfunctional when drinking, artistically speaking. Also, the song is about being drunk and miserable, so that makes sense.
>>78151722>yupp B3 drinkin some cold apple juicei see i don't need to worry about you. you're always prepared. ^^>high humidity sucks you get sweaty and can't dry outgood thing i did my workout, so bei g sweaty doesn't need to bother me that much. everything feeling damp all the is the worst, though. :<>quite okey I was on a bike ride todaythat's nice. see anything interesting? >now just chillingsame. :]>How are you today?pretty good. got myself a new wargame and i'm really having a great time assembling the pieces. ^^ >>78151749get well soon!>>78151783hi anon! >how's your day today guys :)doing well, but the day is coming to an end now. just relaxing on my couch. >I'd like to go for a smoke just rn, since it's nice weather outside during eves, but I realized I run out of cigs ;'/why not go out and enjoy the evening anyway? >>78151858i see, i see. hope it helps you to deal with those thoughts and feeling in a creative way.
>>78151214not much. i just cut my hair which feels much better. hows about you?>>78151722>its 8:40 pm for meits 12:31 for me >have funi will :3>>78151858oh okay. well i hope it goes well
>>78152231>not much.same. ^^>i just cut my hair which feels much better.you do your own hair? what hairstyle you rocking? >hows about you?like for catbro, day's nearly over. just watching a stream until it's time for bed now. it was a fine weekend. was yours nice as well?
>>78152230>doing well, but the day is coming to an end now. just relaxing on my couchSounds pretty chill, watching anything or just browsing?>why not go out and enjoy the evening anyway?Truthfully there isn't a good reason to why not, but I just never go out without a cig in hand, you know what I mean
>>78152487>Sounds pretty chillit do be chill. :> >watching anything or just browsing?both. i just put on a background stream (guy playing rimworld) while i browse and talk to you guys. >you know what I meandefinitely. i always need an excuse to get out. usually i go for a jog and now i added rucking to the available outdoor exercises. without any reason? nah. ^^'
I've had the worst past couple of days.Yesterday I beat Metal gear solid 1 on extreme difficulty, and I got the codename crocodile why couldn't it be called alligator there just better.And trump almost died but he sadly didn't.Today has been hell.so I've been cutting one of my arms a lot recently. I wake up and my parents say my grandma is coming over, I get really stressed about someone seeing my cuts so I decide to wear a long sleeve shirt. And I usually wear pants so I thought if I don't wear pants but do wear a long sleeve shirt they wouldn't think anything. but then my mom that I absolutely hate comes in and says "have you been cutting yourself" and she said "that's why people wear long sleeve shirts". I obviously said no I don't cut but I can't prove that I don't because I do. And there's so many other reasons why today has been hell. I'm definitely gonna cut myself tonight, maybe more idk.
>>78152946hey gator! sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. :< congrats for beating mgs, though. good job. hope you can reduce the amount you cut again at some point, so you don't get into situations like that so often. it's kind of a feedback loop.you can tell us about those other reasons, if you want to. >I'm definitely gonna cut myself tonight, maybe more idk.hope you can fight the urge.
>>78151749>sorta bug that's got me in for a badhope you get better soon ^^do you still go to work ot school when sick?>>78151858>might post it on youtube idk.ok>song is about being drunoh I see I see >>78152230>don't need to worry about you. you're always prepared. ^^yupp :>>everything feeling damp all the is the worst, though. :<did the weather wizards say when it might leave?>see anything interesting?not much I saw a cat though :3>having a great time assembling the pieces. ^^aww I'm glad to hear that >>78152231>12:31 for mehmm so id it's 9houra difference >will :3yay :D>>78152946Hello ali ^^sorry to hear you're having been doing wellremember we're here for you>got the codename crocodileclose enough I'd say How do codenames work?>sadly didn't.as much as I don't care about politics I gotta say that'd be very interesting >there's so many other reasons why today has been hell.oww :<stay strong!>definitely gonna cut myself tonight,pls at least try to not cut much
>>78152605>it do be chill. :>Well I hope you have a good rest of the day and night yuanon :D>without any reason? nah. ^^Exactly. Though jogging does sound like a pretty nice excuse ;)
Hi cut! I hope everyone is well!>Any plans for today?Get some homework done and go for a joyride around the country -side, that kind of stuff makes me really relaxed!>When was the last time you hurt yourself?Its been a few days, but parents yelling yadda yadda>Why did you hurt yourself?parents :/>Is there anything bothering you right now?Na, feeling good!!Ive been working on a little music piece for a video game I've been planning to make, if you want to give it a listen I'd appreciate. It's quite repetitive, but, as I said, its supposed to be in a video game down the line, so I think its more acceptable for it to be so.>https://voca.ro/117jnRx8PJXE (2:45)>>78151034>I started working on a new song.What the fuck are the chances??? I'd love to hear it soon.
>>78153401>did the weather wizards say when it might leave?i hardly ever check the forecast, so i don't know. i'll check when i leave for work tomorrow. ^^ >not much at least you went outside and had a good time. >I saw a cat though :3always nice to meet a fellow feline, i assume. :> >aww I'm glad to hear that haha, yeah. it's been a while since i actually enjoyed it. this video popped up in my feed and it really spoke to me for some reason. ^^https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0OYPdC_lvjU>>78153457thanks! same to you, friend. i'll be heading to bed any minute now. >Though jogging does sound like a pretty nice excuse ;)if you're feeling it, it's awesome, but i haven't for a while now and i definitely need new shoes... i'll get back to it soon, though. >>78153562hey irk! it's been alright and i'm glad you're feeling good, too. :>>Ive been working on a little music piece for a video game nice. what kinda game is it?
>>78150749Hello everyone ^^ hope you guys are doing ok! The concert was incredible, my friend pulled me into the moshpit a couple times, it was incredibly fun to slam around with people two heads taller than me and in steel toe boots hahahaEveryone there was really nice and supportive, no idea why I didn't go there before. I finally felt amongst like minded people for once>>78150900Hi galaxy, how are you?>>78151014Hi cat :>Sounds good, im happy for you. Did you go alone or with a friend?>>78151034Hey saka, i'd be excited to hear it. What genre do you do?>>78151214Hi Yuanon ^^Hows it going for you bud?>>78151386>fetishizing self-harmYeah that's gladly not the case. As saka said feel free to hang out and share some thoughts if you want, how is your evening going anon?>>78151783Hey anon :)>>78152946Hi gator, sorry to hear that. It would be nice if you could tell your mom somehow without her freaking out and making it worse, I understand that that level of communication with family is not a given. I hope you can resist it tonight, love you bud
>>78153705Something like RotMG and Terraria, like the 2d bullethell sort of game. I'm just conceptualizing it right now, I hope to have it completed years down the line.
>>78153562Hiya Irkador, happy to hear you're doing good :DI like the song, i'm guessing the game is something arcadey right? Sounds almost like a mario-kart racing thing>>78151858>What the fuck are the chances??? You guys wouldn't believe it, but I made a song too yesterday. This is like some hivemind shit lol
>>78152380>what hairstyle you rockin?the only one my hair listens to.. im not sure what its called but i keep it even on the sides and back while longer on the top>yours nice as wellits been alright so far yeah>>78153789im doing alright, just playing shadow of the colossus right now>>78153401>9 hour differencethat is a big difference :o
>>78153874> i'm guessing the game is something arcadey right? Sounds almost like a mario-kart racing thingTruth is, I don't really think the song itself fits into the whole theme of the game, maybe as a minigame while credits roll or during a happier part of the story. I'm not so sure.>but I made a song too yesterday. This is like some hivemind shit lolholy fuck now wayyy POST IT!!!!
>>78153789hi dm! sounds like you had a great time! (^-^) glad you found your people. >>78153856never heard about rotmg before and for whatever reason completely missed out on the terraria hype. sounds interesting nonetheless, so please keep us updated. >>78153900>the only one my hair listens to.probably for the best. not much use to fight against it. >im not sure what its called but i keep it even on the sides and back while longer on the tophm. not sure i can conjure an image in my mind rn, but i'm also very tired. i'm sure it suits you. that's it guys. i'm off to bed. good night, everyone!
>>78154162I'm just making art for the characters and such, and animations for certain key events. I've coded a very simple prototype, it's extremley simple, millions of the them exists online, but I spend almost all my free time on this project, and I'm very passionate about, but as of now I have nothing much to say on it, other than the odd piece of artwork.
>>78154162also good night, sleep well <3
>>78150749how the FUCK do you cope with scars fading? i want to stay clean, and have been more or less for 7 months, but they're fading so fast and it makes me want to relapse so fucking bad. they were the only part of me that i liked and now they are going away. what do anons?
I hate ants.>>78153332>hey gator!Hey yuanon :D>congrats for beating mgs, though. good job.Thanks, it was a lot of fun. Now I'm gonna do mgs 2>hope you can reduce the amount you cut again at some pointI really hope so to, but everyone around me makes my life so much harder. I hate it I can't ever just chill.>you don't get into situations like that so often. it's kind of a feedback loop.Yeah I guess so, but it's hard to get out of the feedback loop when everything I my life sucks.>you can tell us about those other reasons, if you want to.Okay, I'll be honest I can't even think right now I'm so mad.>hope you can fight the urge.Thanks, I'll try to.How are you doing yuanon?>>78153401>Hello ali ^^Hey cat :p>remember we're here for youThanks you are very kind and very helpful.>close enough I'd sayYeah I guess so.>How do codenames work?I think it's about how good you do and what difficulty your on so I did the hardest difficulty and did okay so I got I high level mid tier codename, at least I think that's how it works.>as much as I don't care about politicsOkay I don't really care about them either, I just find trump a threat to democracy.>pls at least try to not cut muchI will try not to, but every time someone said something about me cutting myself it caused me to cut myself.How are you cat?>>78153562Hey irkador.Parents absolutely suck. Having good ones is great but bad ones are the worst thing ever>>78153789Concerts are awesome. I'm glad you had fun>Hi gatorHey dm :)>It would be nice if you could tell your mom somehow without her freaking out and making it worseI wish I could, but i can't talk to my mom about anything I would maybe tell my dad something but I just know he would tell my mom. And even talking to my mom makes me sad because she ruined my life.>I understand that that level of communication with family is not a given.Yeah I wish I could communicate with anyone irl but I just can't I have no one like that irlLuv u to
>>78153900Shadow of the collosus is pretty good, nice>>78154011I see.>holy fuck now wayyy POST IT!!!!Tomorrow, I'm way too tired hahaha>>78154162:3>>78154288>Concerts are awesome. I'm glad you had funThanks ^^ Here's a pic from yesterday >would maybe tell my dad something but I just know he would tell my mom.Maybe ask him that its very important to you that he doesn't tell your mom, im sure he'd understand if he knew whats good for you.Oh man practically im falling asleep again. Good night guys <3
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>>78150749Should I move in with my boyfriend? My parents love me but are getting weary of talking care of my schizo ass. My bf offered for me to come live with him. We've been dating for 3 years now.
BUJM[PODFGLJK BUMPAJJ0D BUMPO BUMP
heya guysbeen feeling kinda weird latelyemotionally because of someone and mentally because idk what the hell is going oni now have 2 (technically 3) people telling me there is a high chance i have bpd of some sortwell they convinced me enough to think of getting it checked out so i go and tell it to my mother and she basically shut it down because "if you had it youd be a lot worse and i would have noticed" despite me realising that if i do have something it wouldd be quiet bpd where i just keep my mouth shut and suffer in silencebut fuck me yeah? so now i have to wait a few months to gather the budget to go to a psychiatrist by myselfi hope that if i do indeed have it that i manage to remain sane for the next few months and remain in a revrsible statei hope everyone else been doing good thoughsorry for not really replying or being active ive been kinda out of it yknow and also war thunder is slowly eating my fucking soul40~ hours this past month(sign of NOT being sane lmao)got my photos back btw, cant show like 90% of them because they are moslty my friends>pic rel is that image i talked about like uhh dont remember how long ago where some old man asked me the fuck was i doing crouched infront of that car>>78155397ddunno anonwhat are the downsides of living with him?consider the possibilities and chose the best one
>>78151749>>78153401oh god the drugs wore off fuuuck everything hurts and i think im going to cough up a lung ADVIL PM AND MUCINEX SAVE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE
>>78155137>Here's a pic from yesterdayIt looks so cool! That's awesome.>Maybe ask him that its very important to you that he doesn't tell your momI'm not comfortable at all with talking about serious things with him. And I think he would just tell my mom that I said something like that to him.>im sure he'd understand if he knew whats good for you.I don't think so. My mom put me into homeschool, but he never tried to put me into a real school so he's not that good.>Good night guys <3Sleep well.>>78156112Hey Sisyphus. Your mother seem really dumb and not understanding at all that sucks. I may take a nap now.
My alcohol is almost over. Gotta buy more tomorrow.I suck so fucking much at everything it's unbelievable. And I'm an inconvenient fuck on top of all.Well fuck everyone. Fuck everyone, fuck their loved ones, their grannies and their mammys and whatever.Suck my dick and choke on it, swallow my diarrhea, drown in my vomit.I ain't gonna reply to you guys tonight, sorry, I'm pissed and drunk.Fuck I wanna die, I wanna get raped and beaten to death.SHE HATES ME, SHE FUCKING DESPISES MEif I can't get better, I'll keep going down and down until I reach hell, and I'm gonna stay there, and I'll make satan suck my dick.FUCK YOU AND FUCK EVERYTHING YOU LOVE I'M A MISERABLE BASTARD
>>78155137> pretty goodit is! i enjoy it>>78154162i try not to fight it..
I finally relapsed, just some tiny cuts but the nearly 3 year streak is over... Aaaa
>>78157993Hey anonWhy did you do it?
>>78157997Something my very recent ex did. It's too specific to mention and is admittedly something that is very funny in a lolcow sorta way but also made me question why I'd even ever have feelings for such a stupid whore. I went from laughing like an idiot to cutting myself because it's the only way I know how to cope. Why would I love someone like that, I wasted so much time, I hate myself
Where is officeanon when we need him>>78158049Well, I can't give you advice on women because women are repulsed by me.But whatever, I'm drunk. As a rule of thumb, women tend to be evil most times. Move on. Find someone else if you can.I might say more tomorrow, but now I'm going to sleep, I'm dead drunk and I wanna die.
Good morning fellas. I had a dream that I bought an odachi and I did engravings on it. I watched the colours flow and reflect from it beautifully. I wanna buy a sword.The same thing happened to me with the C96 Mauser, I guess I'm a weapon nerd at heart
how painful is burning myself with a lighter compared to razor cuts? hospital took my blades and all I've got left are blunt scissors that don't even tear the skin
>>78158441Hi foxIt hurts pretty bad and it leaves pretty ugly big marks, I would suggest you stick to cutting, if you have to. I know of a way to sharpen the scissors but I don't want to be responsible for you hurting yourself or getting into trouble :<
>>78158489thank u kindred, I got more razors instead
Hello again.Its been, another few weeks since I posted here.I lost one of my FPs, I wrongly through she was abandoning me, exploded at her and she accused me of emotional manipulation. I still have my boyfriend and my other FP but. This loss hurts, I am basically trying to force myself to believe that she had Schizotypal and she was using me, but even if that was true. I miss her.I am currently watching Gundam WFM with my bf, alone in my office, after we are done. I am going to cut myself.My BPD is eating me alive, and I keep hurting those who I consider my friends. This hurts, but soon enough I will be dead. I just hope I can not hurt others anymore. If you are somehow here, I am sorry Sam and you were right.I am going to cling to my BF for dear life today, because of what I have done.
>>78158840Hey! It's always nice to see you :)It always sucks losing someone your close to. I hope losing her doesn't make to feel to bad, everything will be okay.That's good that your with your bf maybe you should tell him your feeling down.I hope you can resist cutting yourself I care about you. But if you do be extremely careful.No one would be better with you dead, people care about you, your a great person. Your one of the nicest people I've ever met. And you write very well. I genuinely care about you, seeing you down makes me feel sad, and everyday your not here I wonder where you are and what your up to.That's probably good being with your bf now.
>>78157296>Your mother seem really dumb and not understanding at allshe isnt dumbshe is jus stubborn and too proud to admit something is wrong just like mei guess the apple really does fall near the apple tree>>78158840hello tiger :)missed yahow are your academics going?>I am basically trying to force myself to believe honestly to me that sounds harer to do than just accepting it and trying to move oni know how hard it is losing someone you care about but trust me sooner or later it will be just a memory, a sad memory but it wont affect you anymore >after we are done. I am going to cut myself:(>My BPD is eating me aliveisnt there some medication you can get for it?im pretty sure there are some but not sure about any sideeffectsconsidering yknow UK and how they dont really make it easy for those that need it to get meddication idk if you could get it but its worth a try
>>78158902Hey Gator, its nice to see you too I like your image and its titleI feel terrible, she was one of my best friends, and I had to live up to the BPDemon title and hurt her.I told my BF i was feeling like shit and he made me watch WFM with him, its fun I feel a little better. Its nice seeing a show have multiple ethnicities.I'll be honest, its not about other people. I know its selfish but I can't get over my mother molesting me, or the shit that happened in my childhood. I want it to end and I want to forget this life.I keep hiding behind the constant rush of drugs, new fps, boyfriend giving me attention but its all hollow.I know deep down, I need a father, that is it, but I can't ask my boyfriend to be my father figure, as much as I would like it.I am talking to my doctor about getting mood stabalisers, I am incredibly lucky to have things most robots don't but its all hollow. Deep down, I would give up eveything to have my father hold me and tell me he loves me.>>78158376Get a nice scabbard too.>>78159052Hi sisyphus.Academics are coming along shit, I have had multiple Borderline melts in the last two weeks and I am sitting here looking at my thesis, I am thinking of dropping out by ph supervisor would be sad.Sorry about th cutting, its all I have to stop borderline from eating me.I am talking to my doctor about medication but its slow... I am going to be honest. I think I need to be put in a psych ward.
>>78159131>I had to live up to the BPDemon title and hurt her.nothing you can do about it now other than maybe apologise if you havent already and make sure it doesnt happeen againmore complicated than what it sounds but im sure you will find a way>I told my BF i was feeling like shit and he made me watch WFM with himsounds well everyone deals with stuff a different way, sitting and watching a show with somon you love should be a nice distraction at least for now>I know its selfish but I can't get over my mother molesting mehow is that selfish?sounds like a horrible traumatic event that most people probably wouldnt be able to get over eitheri know someone from the US that got raped orally in the past, way shes dealing with it from what i undderstood is she developed a rape fetish to somehow cope with itwhole stuff, erotica, erp and everythingfinding the thing that helps will be hard but it can happen>I need a father, that is itunfortunately for both you and me we cant have thatyou can have things to feel in the void like being close to some older man but not much elsehaving to stand on your own two feet when one of your feet is fucking missing fucking sucks but its possible and def achievable >Academics are coming along shitawww :(would be a shame to drop it all after so much work you have already done>Sorry about th cuttingdw about itwhatever works for you>I think I need to be put in a psych wardwell you can talk to your doctor about that tooi really hope it works out for you but cant help but be worriedalso i hope that even htough im trying to be careful with my words i dont somehow make it worse
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my coworker came in with his girlfriend yesterday, hes lucky, kinda dumb but kind typeshe looked like jane from breaking bad, exactly, my typebrother didnt want to play overwatch with me yesterday night because he was busy texting or snaping or whatever you call it his spark3 ROW LOSS STREAKfinal nail, sorrow set in. couldnt handle it no more, couldnt bear it, life. drowned my sorrowsif i had a gram of odsmt (soon will be getting that) i would have took it all and ended it right theresome of us are alone, ill cope, ill try even. i will always (FOREVER) be a solo cog in the great sociatal beastmachineCOPE COPE COPEi carved the hebrew scripture for 666 on my thighs mc ride has that as a tatooguess i relapsed on that too.if all you can do for me, relate.i wont be here much longereither change the broken bulb, or destroy it.itll burn itself up anyways
>>78150900You are so hot oh my God.
If /cat/ isn't a femboy than why is he so freaking cute and valid?
>>78150749i havent cut myself since april. hope u niggers stop because my thigh looks shredded and im permanantly a faggot because of it. ive ruined my body and i cant do anything about it. fuck you all
>>78160058im not even doing anything, anon. i dont know how that can be.>>78158376that sounds awesome!
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I failed probability, with a pretty terrible grade.I'll probably fail differential equations too.Yes, she hates me. My grades suck, I stink and I'm stupid.SHE FUCKING HATES MEI'm a miserable bastard with low grades, no wonder why she loathes me. Whatever, FUCK YOU GLAUCOI'm gonna get drunk early today. Just gotta finish my noodles and then off to buy some whisky
If I can't pass a subject in a shit university in a third world shithole, I might as well end my life.What a fucking joke
>>78161200You pep-talked me when I was dealing with some serious shit, please talk to yourself with the same insight and kindness. Your worth as an individual human entity is beyond passing or failing a grade in a school.
my body is ruinednfnfnfnf gngfmsld i have scars all over my thighs im disgusitng its ov3rober over its so over theyrr on my arms aswell i need to doe theyre permanent ims tuck like this forever i need ot die
>>78161279Are you drunk, anon? Or is this a weird tumblr-eque crytyping thing? I'm sorry you have scars from self-harm, but so do many other people who manage to live full, happy lives. Just because you have scars doesn't mean anything, it just means you once self-harmed. That's all. Why do you feel you need to die, anon?
>>78161246Well guess what, it ain't just my shitty grades.I stink, I'm inconvenient, I'm a repulsive asshole, never kissed a woman, I'm ugly, whatever the list goes on.Fuck "insight and kindness" I wanna get beaten to death.I hit my dog today, disrespected my mom, dad and brother. I'm a loathsome fucker, I fucking hate myself.Just gotta finish these noodles and then I'll buy more alcohol
>>78161374no im not drunk just retarded and ive not slept in like 40 hours. i know that other people have scars but mine are like really bad like, full length of my thigh from right above the knee to 3 inches below my hip just COVERED and they're deep. i need to die because im so deadass gross nobody would want that. i need new skin i literally cant do anything about it theyre theyre on my skin PERMANENTLY for the rest of my life
>>78161388You become who you choose to be, Sakamoto. You chose to hit your dog and disrespect your family. Maybe make different choices if you want your life to change. There is a DBT book at the top of this thread that could be helpful to you.I've hated myself before, but I've never hurt another living being or person like that. I always chose to not hurt other people just because I was hurting and sick.
>>78161418Thanks for reminding me that I'm an evil piece of shit
>>78161431No, rather I'm reminding you you have the chance to make a change at any moment in your life. Every choice you make, you have the opportunity to think it over and if it is truly the person you want to be before you act on your thoughts. Your thoughts and urges don't make you who you are, it's the actions that you choose to take in this shared physical world that determine who you are to others.
>>78161524Well I was trying to get better not so long ago.Making the correct choices, smiling and whatever. But even when trying to get better and doing good things, I'm still an insufferable cunt ass piece of crap.And now that I'm back in this hole, I'll stay here.I'm not taking any medications, I'm not going to the psychiatrist, I'm not going to therapy, I'm not seeing my irl friends.
>>78161585I'm sorry to hear you're suffering so much. It sounds like a long, miserable road that you've decided to take. I'm not going to try to tell you to do anything different, you get to choose what you do. I do wish you comfort and an easing of pain, however those things may come.
Today I woke up feeling so happy and relieved I almost cried tears of joy, I was in such peace this past days that it felt like I finally got my head out of the water and I'm breathing for the first time in a long; as the air fills my lungs I feel free, I feel respite, my skies seem finally clear. Thank you for keeping me company these past months dear friends, we're all gonna make it, it will all come soon to past. Thru life's ups and downs a wonderful nap may do you just right
And the alcohol is here>>78161601Thanks.>>78161720Hey napanon.That's nice.
>>78161720im glad youre feeling better lately and youre right it will all get better eventually. we just gotta hang in there.
>>78159131I'm really sorry I was sleeping.>I feel terrible, she was one of my best friendsIt's normal to feel terrible after losing a best friend, but it's gonna be okay. And there's not much you can do.>and I had to live up to the BPDemon title and hurt her.Your not a demon in anyway, your a great person, who accidently may have hurt her a little. >told my BF i was feeling like shit and he made me watch WFM with himWell that's good that you told him and that's really nice of him.>Its nice seeing a show have multiple ethnicities.Yeah that is a pretty good thing to see.>but I can't get over my mother molesting meOmfg that's terrible, I'm so sorry. It's not a bad thing to be sad about that, what she did was absolutely horrible, she's a evil person. I'm very sorry.>or the shit that happened in my childhood.It's hard not to be sad about things that happened in your childhood, I wish I could say a way to not worry about things and to feel better.>I want it to end and I want to forget this life.It's easy when we're sad to feel like there's no option, there's no way to live but there is ways to get better and have a really happy life.>but its all hollow.Well even having those things are good even if they are just rushes. And your boyfriend does love you he cares about you.>I need a father, but I can't ask my boyfriend to be my father figureHaving a father does seem like it would be nice for you.>I am talking to my doctor about getting mood stabalisersOkay well that should help you then.>>78161720Well that's awesome that you are happy today! It's always good having peace with your past few days. >Thru life's ups and downs a wonderful nap may do you just rightNaps are really nice. I kinda need one lol.
>>78161905Hey Saka, Ive read upon your plight. I'm glad you've at least come to realize you walked yourself into a wall with that one; learning from mistakes is the quintessential human experience. Making mistakes doesn't make you a bad person, the event horizon truly is when you start ignoring learned lessons. Try to remember this fact.>>78162009Thank you Galax, I'm truly glad I've got to see you in a better mood lately. Absolutely stellar my friend>>78162029Try to get enough rest whenever you can Gator, you've been also putting a wonderful effort. Keep your head up friend
>>78161720Did chad finally pick you?
>>78162117its been, great for me too. i just felt so lonely lately its rough. but having my boyfriend actually with me has helped with that.
i havent been here in a while how are u guys keeping up whats going on in your lives DO tell me everything
>>78162594hallo chroma! its been a minute. ive just been here with my boyfriend. He's visiting me right now. my brother came to visit too. turns out my mothers neglect has effected him now too.
>>78162232>>78162594Have femboy sex.
>>78162757>:c no, you stop that. no horny.
>>78162703thats cool, have fun>turns out my mothers neglect has effected him now too.huh? what does that mean
>>78162771>>78162775Kiss eachother.
>>78162775my mother has neglected all her kids. she doesn't care about us. we raised ourselves.
I took a nap.>>78162117>Try to get enough rest whenever you can GatorI will start trying to, getting more sleep is very important.>you've been also putting a wonderful effortI don't think so. I've basically put no effort into anything.>Keep your head up friendI'll try to thanks.>>78162594Hey chroma always nice to see you. >whats going on in your lives DO tell me everythingBasically nothing in my life. my mom has been bad but that's normal.
>>78162153Mood been stable lately, very very stable. but thanks for asking nonny>>78162232Awww Galax, I get what you mean, I'm just very glad you've been doing so well lately. Hope you keep having a wonderful time >>78162594Hi Chroma, very nice to see you! Life has been going way better, I've taken time to keep on drawing and I'm satisfied with my advancements :) how about you?
>>78163079me too. its been nice having someone home when i get back from work. especially someone i love
>>78163053ouch, im sorry that happened. how is she treating you now?>>78163059hey gato>my mom has been bad but that's normal.why? what happened?>>78163079hey napanon>I've taken time to keep on drawing and I'm satisfied with my advancementsi am really glad, mind sharing the progress? if u want toits nice to see progress from new artists!
>>78163349i never hear from her. and when i do everything she says, frightens me..
>>78154189>I'm just making art for the characters and suchpost some of the art if you feel like it. though maybe that's not such a good idea. you never know who's watching... >I've coded a very simple prototype, it's extremley simple, millions of the them exists onlinedoesn't matter. maybe you bring a unique idea or improve the gameplay. even someone just enjoys your art more it's worth it. >as of now I have nothing much to say on it, other than the odd piece of artwork.that's ok. some projects take longer than others.>>78154238that's a though one. i don't think there's anything aside from the obvious. ever thought about getting tattos or piercings? >>78154288>Now I'm gonna do mgs 2have fun! and do tell how it's going. >I hate it I can't ever just chill.that's pretty much life at this point. you've got no reason to care, but everyone bothers you anyway. >it's hard to get out of the feedback loop when everything I my life sucks.it's hard, but not impossible. as much as it sucks, it's you who has to make the first step out of the loop. but i know that you can. you're a tough cookie. (*^*)>I'll be honest I can't even think right now I'm so mad.i see. hope you were able to calm down in the meantime. >Thanks, I'll try to.attaboy! :D >How are you doing yuanon?doing alright. came home from work about an hour ago, ate and now i'm just chilling. you alright? >>78157815why should you. you look great. i assume. >>78158072>Where is officeanon when we need himon his well deserved vacation. ^^ hey saka! how's it going? >>78158376hi dm!>I guess I'm a weapon nerd at heartsame, but i'd never know what to get. ^^ >>78158840hey bt! long time no see! >>78160025hey sludge. sorry to hear you're having a hard time. >>78160071>i havent cut myself since april.well done, anon. >>78161720hey nappy! glad to hear you emerged again after all that time. welcome back! :>
>>78162594hi chroma! :D how's it going? >whats going on in your lives DO tell me everythingnot much, honestly. work, eat, sleep. sometimes a workout here and there and meeting with friends. got myself a bag for heavy sandbag lifting recently to work out and go on rucks with. now i only need to get some sand... ^^'
>>78163349>why? what happened?Nothing really recent, yesterday she did accuse me of cutting because I wore a long sleeve shirt. The main reason I hate her is because she was the one that decided to homeschool me and she is very homophobic and pretty racist.>>78163498>have fun! and do tell how it's going.Oh I definitely will, mgs 2 is such a good game >you've got no reason to care, but everyone bothers you anyway.True it's very annoying.>as much as it sucks, it's you who has to make the first step out of the loop.I just don't have any freedom to be happy in any way, I'm trapped so it's really hard to exit the loop.>you're a tough cookie. (*^*)Okay cookies are good, but most really good cookies are pretty fragile.>hope you were able to calm down in the meantime.I'm pretty calm now, yesterday I didn't talk with my friend so that made me feel bad but I talked with him today, I luv him.>came home from work about an hour agoOkay that's awesome work is so cool.>ate and now i'm just chilling.That sounds perfect.>you alright?Yup, I'm feeling great. I'm smiling as I write this. Even though I know when I stop writing I'll just lay in my bed and watch YouTube
>>78163498i dont think i look good. people say i do rarely but i have a feeling they just say that to be nice.
>>78163626>mgs 2 is such a good game i only ever played the demo because it was included with zone of the enders. pretty scummy move, if you think about it.>I just don't have any freedom to be happy in any wayi feel you. just try to endure until you truly can make decisions of your own. stay strong.>Okay cookies are good, but most really good cookies are pretty fragile.i see. not only tough one, but smart cookie as well. :>>I didn't talk with my friend so that made me feel bad but I talked with him today, I luv him.i'm sure he understands. we all need some time for ourselves here and there. >That sounds perfect.it's pretty good. ^^>Yup, I'm feeling great. I'm smiling as I write this.awesome. :D>Even though I know when I stop writing I'll just lay in my bed and watch YouTubeyou enjoy your day however you see fit. what will you watch?>>78163780>i dont think i look goodwe seldom do.>people say i do rarely but i have a feeling they just say that to be nice.sometimes the truth can be nice. :>
>>78163916i just cant believe that.. i cant..
>>78163059Honestly a good nights sleep can determine your whole day, your entire destiny I dare to say. Too bad restful nights are few and far between so it's better to make the most out of them >>78163349aahhh I'd love to share progress but I don't have my sketchbook on me right now! but I'll gladly share my fist page once I manage to fill it up!oh and I also got that piercing I was talking about last month, finally!!>>78163498Hello Yua!! A treat as always being around! I hope routine has been kind on you
>>78163916>it was included with zone of the enders. pretty scummy moveOh that's odd.>if you think about it.Yeah I suppose it is.>just try to endure until you truly can make decisions of your own.I hate just having to endure but it's my only option.>but smart cookie as well. :>I don't know if it's smart to have opinions on cookies but thanks.>i'm sure he understands.I hope so, I've been a bad friend for him recently so I feel extra bad.>we all need some time for ourselves here and thereYeah that is true.>what will you watch?I'm watching the sidemen.>>78164196>Honestly a good nights sleep can determine your whole dayYeah that is sadly true, so getting good sleep is very important.>Too bad restful nights are few and far between so it's better to make the most out of themYeah that's a smart thing to do, you don't want to waste them.
>>78164052you don't have to. the only person who matters in that regard is your boyfriend. he might be biased, though... ;D>>78164196>I hope routine has been kind on youcan't really complain, but that's not stopping me. ^^ how are you? >>78164267>Oh that's odd.yeah. they wanted to boost sales for that unknown ip, so they included it. >I hate just having to endure but it's my only option.it's not ideal, but sometimes it's the only way forward. >I don't know if it's smart to have opinions on cookies but thanks.at least you know what you want. ^^ >I've been a bad friend for him recently so I feel extra bad.just apologies, then. i'm sure he doesn't even see the issue, but he'll appreciate it anyway. >I'm watching the sidemen.never heard of that. what's it about?
>>78164379he seems to think im attractive. i dont see it.
>>78164545gal, people like us will never understand what people see in them. that's just how our brains are wired. maybe we can get over that at some point, but it won't be easy and in the meantime, we just have to let it happen anyway. just try to enjoy it for now.
>>78164379>they wanted to boost sales for that unknown ip, so they included it.Oh that's a weird marketing strategy, just promoting a better game.>but sometimes it's the only way forward.Yeah it is, I don't know if I'll be able to do it.>at least you know what you want. ^^Yeah I like soft chocolate chip cookies. What's your favorite type of cookie?>just apologies, thenYeah I've already apologized but I need to apologize more. It was his birthday a couple days ago.>i'm sure he doesn't even see the issueHe doesn't which makes me feel even more bad, it's like I've just always been a bad friend then.>never heard of that. what's it about?Oh they're a pretty popular British YouTube group. Ksi is in it.
Kiss Chroma.
>>78164611ill try yuan, ill try.>>78164758shushy your obsession is too much
>>78164672>just promoting a better game.zonw of the enders is pretty good. little special interest, but maybe check it out. you might like it. >I don't know if I'll be able to do it.i know you can. (*^*)>Yeah I like soft chocolate chip cookies. What's your favorite type of cookie?good choice. pretty much the same for me, but there's this coffee vendor that i pass on my way to work and she sells chocolate chip walnut cookies. those are quite nice. today i got a croffle, but i think i prefer regular waffles. >I need to apologize more. It was his birthday a couple days ago.ah, it happens. sometimes you just can't bring yourself to get in contact. if you apologized already, i think that's enough. go ahead if you feel like it, though. no harm in that. >it's like I've just always been a bad friend then.that's bollocks and you know it. :< a bad friend wouldn't even think he did anything wrong. you're a good friend, especially when you consider how you are in this thread. >Oh they're a pretty popular British YouTube group. Ksi is in it.i have to look them up.>>78164776good boy. *pat pat* (^-^)
>>78164870:3 i like pats. what about you how are you today?
>>78164870>but maybe check it out. you might like it.Okay I will definitely check it out thanks.>this coffee vendor that i pass on my way to work and she sells chocolate chip walnut cookies.Ooo those so sound pretty good! I'm usually not a fan of nuts in food but it sounds really tasty.>today i got a croffle, but i think i prefer regular waffles.I could look it up but it's more fun asking, what's a croffle?>sometimes you just can't bring yourself to get in contact.Yeah I hate it but it's true >go ahead if you feel like it, though. no harm in that.I probably will be is either working or sleeping now so I'll do it tomorrow.>you're a good friend, especially when you consider how you are in this thread.Well thanks, I'm happy to know you think of me as a good person.>i have to look them up.There pretty good, some of there vids are really good. If you do watch them, watch there car vids.
>>78165107>:3 i like pats.who doesn't? ^^ >what about you how are you today?i'm fine. work was a little stressful and i'm a bit sleepy, but now i'm just lying in bed and wait til get tired enough to sleep. most interesting thing about today was that croffle i ate. i'm a boring guy. >>78165266>I'm usually not a fan of nuts in food but it sounds really tasty.i'm a nutty guy. ^^ i even activate most.of my nuts and dry them again. reduces the shelflife a bit, but you reduce the amounta of anti-nutrients and especially walnuts taste way better like that. >what's a croffle?it's a frozen croissant that's put in a waffleiron. you than can have different toppings, but i usually enjoy my waffles plain. >I'll do it tomorrow.good plan. >I'm happy to know you think of me as a good person.no reason not to. (^-^)>If you do watch them, watch there car vids.can you send me some links?
i'm off to bed. see you guys soon!
There's this weird noise, like a casino ding outside my house going off every two minutes. It's real, it can't be hallucinated. It sounds like pinball thing, I'm so fucking scared, it's coming from in the street and everything else is quiet. Is it harrassing me? Is it some creature i am hallucinating like the inverted knee lady that kept making noises in my kitchen. The lightning flashes look like camera flashes into my apartment. God please i just want to sleep, tell me its nothi g I am actually crying under my blanket like a morornI really don't want to see some freaky shit outside my house, rral or fake
>>78165623Its so loud too, i am too scared to approach the window and close it and it sounds like somethings crawling up. If my curtains move not by the wind i am actually having a heart attavk
Heyo sorry for not being here today, I'm feeling a bit off>>78165623Heyo DMJust wanted to tell you to try ro not worry too much It's probably one of your paranoid episodes, just like last time you're going to be fine ^^>>78165654I know I can't be 100% certain BUT I promise you there isn't a pinball machine waiting to eat you or something hehIf you want to we can talk for a bit and hopefully you'll calm down :>How was your day today?Wanna hear about my day?
here's a little video for anyone who's feeling a little sad or scarehttps://youtu.be/WCrXqI_0FhU?si=HoVtcQ83fMb-g8dq
>>78165760Thanks cat, yes my fear is completely irrational i know, I really can't help it when the thoughts come falling down like an avalanche, even if I know its fake I keep panicking that my mind will throw something really terrifying at me. I'm sorry, I'm feeling better now, the sound stopped and its now raining heavily. Pretty cozy actually :>>promise you there isn't a pinball machine waiting to eat you or something hehLol true :PI really should go to sleep now that I've calmed down on my own, thank you for your concern cat, you are really nice. I put on some jacuzzi sounds on youtube to relax and hopefully sleepI'd love to hear about your day, but I'll probably be able to reply in the morning, here or jn the next thread, i could pass out at any moment. My day today was really tiring but fun, we went bumming around in tje city with some friends, they're really fun to talk to and just hang out.
>>78165911>irrational i know, I really can't help itI know buddy I know but reminding yourself that it's irrational even if you know it already might help>that my mind will throw something really terrifyingI understand>now raining heavily. Pretty cozy actually :>yay, is it nice and cool over there too?maybe get under nice blanket and maybe you'll fall asleep >thank you for your concern cat,no worries! ^^That's what friends are for >love to hear about your day, but I'll probably be able to reply in the morningthat's okay :>maybe I'll tell you about my day today, so you won't have to worry about leaving me hanging >bumming around in tje city with some friends what is bumming?glad you had fun doing things with friends is great So for tonight, you go to sleep and have nice dreams ^^ I'll probably go sleep too now
hshbumpbsaa7
>>78165425>i'm a nutty guy. ^^I do like nuts I love almonds. I just like nuts bu themselves I don't like them in other food. I don't like ice cream with nuts, I don't like brownies with nuts.>i even activate most.of my nuts and dry them again.Oh that's pretty cool, I didn't know that's something you you could do, you know more about nuts then anyone.>especially walnuts taste way better like that.Okay that's cool. So what's your favorite nut?>it's a frozen croissant that's put in a waffleironOh that's very cool. It does sound like it would be alright.>you than can have different toppingsOkay I feel like with a croissant waffle you would have to add toppings I don't think it would be good plain.>but i usually enjoy my waffles plain.Same there just more enjoyable that way.>can you send me some links?I've never sent a link in 4chan and idk how. I'll send them on discord.>>78165544Sleep well.>>78165623I really hope you feel better dm.>>78165760That sucks your feeling off, but no one minds if you take a day break, we all do it.>>78165796I loved that vid so much! I even sent it to my sister.
>>78165425youd be surprised honestly
it's been a while! uh... hello :)i don't know what to say. i've become fixated on a character, got pneumonia bc of the extreme cold ( that was a fun ride! ) but now i'm slowly getting better. what about you, dear /cut/ters? even if i like to joke w it, i really missed u guys. i feel like lately i shouldn't come here because i haven't cut in a while. it's stupid, but guilt always wins. q -q
>>78167534Hello lavender! It's always nice to see you. Everyone is coming back today :)>got pneumonia bc of the extreme coldOMG that's really bad, that must have been scary I didn't know the cold could cause that I love the cold that sucks.>but now i'm slowly getting better. I'm glad your getting better.>what about you, dear /cut/ters?I'm doing alright, I'm feeling pretty good.>i really missed u guys.I missed you to. It always makes me happy to see you.>. i feel like lately i shouldn't come here because i haven't cut in a while.No you should come no matter what, this place is more about mutual support then anything.>but guilt always wins. q -qTrue guilt sucks.
>>78168333are they? woah, i'm glad i formed part of that tiny comeback then.>that must have been scary I didn't know the cold could cause thati did spend some time on the hospital to get oxygen therapy but honestly? people die of this shit, i was lucky and, to add to your question, it wasn't entirely the cold's fault, i also have anemia so it's like, many factors coming together to fuck me over lol>I'm doing alright, I'm feeling pretty good.i'm glad! hope it stays that way. everyone deserves to be happy once in a while.>I missed you to. It always makes me happy to see you.aww, thanks! i didn't know people actually missed me over here. been spending most of my time on 4chan on other boards, i forgot to come visit over here!! sorry, i promise i'll become more of a regular again :)<3>No you should come no matter what, this place is more about mutual support then anything.i will, i will! i feel like i'm awful at giving advice so i've been staying away since i really don't wanna clutter the place for people who actually need help. q -q
>>78168632>i did spend some time on the hospital to get oxygen therapy but honestly?OMG that's crazy I'm really glad your okay, having to get oxygen must be scary. pneumonia is horrible.>people die of this shit, i was luckyYeah it's terrible, you did get pretty lucky. That must be terrifying not knowing how bad it is.>i also have anemia so it's like, many factors coming together to fuck me over lolOh that's even more bad then, anemia plus pneumonia.>everyone deserves to be happy once in a while.Yeah that's true, it's hard to accept being happy. I feel like I should force myself to be sad >i didn't know people actually missed me over here.Of course people miss you, your a really fun person to talk to and your really cool.>been spending most of my time on 4chan on other boards, i forgot to come visit over here!!Okay going on other boards is good. I only ever go on this thread lol.>sorry, i promise i'll become more of a regular again :)<3You don't have to be sorry, but I did really miss you.>i feel like i'm awful at giving adviceI'm the same way, but people will always appreciate even a little advice, and you don't have to give advice you can just talk to people that will make them feel better.>been staying away since i really don't wanna clutter the place for people who actually need help. q -qYou definitely don't clutter the place, it's good seeing you and for people that really need help you being here doesn't hurt them in anyway. It may help them if the board is a little more active
>>78166021>That's what friends are for<3>what is bumming?Just hanging out, walking around aimlessly and windowshopping etc
>>78167004Thanks gator, im alright nowGood morning everyone btw, hope you had a good sleep
>>78169073I'm happy to know your alright and good morning.I was gonna hurt myself but I'll just go to sleep I guess
>>78169640Goodnight Gator ^^Good on you for fighting the urge, you should rest now
does anyone find that adhd meds make you cut slightly less? I'm still thinking about it a lot and want to but rarely actually doing it as opposed to doing it multiple times a day sober.
Headpat Chroma.
>>78168808hey, sorry for the late reply. totally dissociated from life lol>having to get oxygen must be scary.it was. i thought i was gonna die. but i'm here now! drinking my 5th matecocido of the night, writing something for fun.>anemia plus pneumonia.YEAH IT WASN'T FUN. got a lot of blood tests, doctors everywhere. thank god i have medicare (i think it's said that way?) and the health here is also free.>it's hard to accept being happy. I feel like I should force myself to be sad i know, right? it's hard to accept life isn't so shit. i used to have those thoughts as well. but why would i spend my life crying over how shitty it is when i'm still able to change it? that helps me a bit. we shape our world .>Of course people miss you, your a really fun person to talk to and your really cool.THANK YOUUU,,,, i really don't think i'm that interesting or anything... really, thanks a lot, this made me feel so happy :'3>Okay going on other boards is good. I only ever go on this thread lol.4chan for me is either this thread ( depression ) or porn, which i think is a really fun parallel. >but I did really miss you.again, thank you. :) i missed the silly white gator pics..>it may help them if the board is a little more activei'll be around more then! thank you gator.<3>>78170271no idea! i'm currently on lexapro (escitalopram) and it's either really good or really bad. i found myself having dreams again. but afaik it's not used for adhd ( only for the anxiety that comes w it iirc )
bumpzjsvwvs5
mornings everyone :3 howre you all today?
I submit to /cat/
Just got back from uni. It was the last exam.I wasn't feeling well, so I didn't do everything. I'm gonna score at most a 5/10.Now I failed two subjects in the same term.I'm disgraceful.She hates me. She always gets excellent grades, she'll never want me around.I'll never succeed in life and she loathes me.Anyway, I've been playing Yakuza like a dragon, I'm loving this game.
Good morning dear friends, works stressing, brain hurts a lot kinda morning. at least I'm up to date with my tasks and can afford to post a little bit. I hope you guys had a restful night >>78164379>can't really complain, but that's not stopping me. ^^ how are you?Complaining is the salaryman's greatest hobby after all! I've been holding up way better! mood swings and all. Been on a bit of a manic slip but that's just cause jobs been stressing this morning, bleh!>>78171592Morning Galax! Been doing way better, office's been stressful this morning but I'm holding up just fine. feel a little bit antsy since I haven't gotten my good morning text yet from fav person, but she will any second now and that will surely fix me!
feeling very unusual these days. wouldnt want to do something stupid to myself, but i think thats whats gonna happen today
>>78173835Hey Chroma! Good morninghttps://files.catbox.moe/ufnidd.jpgHere is a little fanart I drew from a game I played recently, I'm really proud of the end result even tho it's a super simple drawing :>>feeling very unusual these daysGod do I know that feeling, it's always super stresful :( you wanna talk for a bit? I got a little bit of time. It doesn't have to be about what ails you, we can discuss whatever you want :D
>>78173835Precious femboy my beloved.
>>78173922good morning, atlhough it's 8 pm for mehow are you dfoing today? >https://files.catbox.moe/ufnidd.jpgvery cute, good job>you wanna talk for a bit? I got a little bit of time.i feel guilty for making you spend that time on me. are you going to work right now? good luck anywayi feel like im just going to sleep if i manage to overcome pressure, right now feeling more down than usually
>>78173989>very cute, good jobThank you, still super proud of how it came out!!>i feel guilty for making you spend that time on meDon't be my friend, I say its a good way to spend my time>are you going to work right now? I'm just 15 minutes away from being halfway done with my shift actually, can't wait to leaaaaaaveI hope you manage to get cozy enough to enjoy your sleep my friend, 8pm is a great time to go to bed if you're gonna call it an early night
>>78174082>I'm just 15 minutes away from being halfway done with my shift actually, can't wait to leaaaaaaveoh luckywhat do u usually do after going back home? how many hours remains till you go to sleep actually
>>78174114>oh luckyYeah days go way faster when you section them like that, it's a great way to cope >what do u usually do after going back home? how many hours remains till you go to sleep actuallyImmediately? I have to get a little nap in the couch for sure, I usually go to sleep on the later side so about 12 to 14 hours more till I go to sleep again
>>78174272>Immediately? I have to get a little nap in the couch for suredamn, does your back not hurts taking a nap on the couch? what are you, a grandpa? :')>so about 12 to 14 hours more till I go to sleep againoh wow, i wouldve thought you have around 2-3 hours left, since usually the work ends around at 8-9 pm, but 12-14 hours is kind of cool. do you go outside often?
I want Chroma to be mine.
>>78174313>damn, does your back not hurts taking a nap on the couch?Oh I meant like a 2 person sofa, so I get to lay on it like I was in bed! I don't go directly to bed because if I did I'd most likely oversleep >what are you, a grandpa? :')I'll have you know that I'm turning 26 tomorrow, young man, so you better respect your elders :^)>do you go outside often?Mostly just to work, when I get in the mood to go outside I can manage without trouble but I'm truly a hikikomori forced to take part in society :(
Hello everynyan :>what's up?I'm doing okay today, order some stuff for a friends bike a while ago and it came in today so that's nice But what's not nice is that I ordered some other stuff and they guy I ordered it from hasn't shipped it yet and is not responding to messagesI'm not worried because after 3days I will get my money back but I won't get that stuff and the price was a steal :/ >>78171592Heyo gal :D How are you feeling today??>>78172542Hi saka o/>was the last examfreedom wooo :D>failed two subjectsdid you get the results yet!?>Yakuza like a dragon, I'm loving this game.:oI've heard it was good btw how's that song coming along?>>78173772Hey nappy>works stressing, brain hurtsoww :< hope you get some good rest soon you deserve it >>78173835Hii choma :3 >wouldnt want to do something stupidhopefully you won't Any idea why you're feeling unusual?we're here for u fren :<
>>78174382>I'll have you know that I'm turning 26 tomorrow, young man, so you better respect your elders :^)crazyhappy early birthday, hope you'll have some fun>when I get in the mood to go outside I can manage without trouble but I'm truly a hikikomori forced to take part in society :(i feel ya theredo you have any friends you go out with? or is it just by yourself>>78174389>Any idea why you're feeling unusual?not sure. might be because im not satisfied enough with myself while drawing, and i still didnt got any actual medical help i probably really need
>>78174430>happy early birthday, hope you'll have some funThanks Chroma! I really hope you say hi tomorrow as well c:>do you have any friends you go out with? or is it just by yourselfMy favorite person of course! she takes me everywhere and I can never leave home without her, I love to follow her around everywhere she goes!I honestly can't remember when was the last time I went somewhere by myself that wasn't a quick corner store run, from the moment I leave home I'm super dejected until I can see her again, I'm really really attached>>78174389Heya Gato!! Brain is doing better since I finished this super hard task I was working on, will now just cruise my way to closing timeOwww I'm sorry about your bike parks, I hate deals that sound good and end up being bs :/ it always messes up with my expectations, hopefully you'll get your money back without much trouble
>>78151858>Being drunk and miserable. And stinking of cigarettes.story of our life eh friend? but yea life is pretty bleak over here too bro , all the liqour stores in my province are closed due to strikes and im out of whiskey :(
>>78165760hey catbro! sorry you're not doing your best. take all the time you need. hope you're doing better today. >>78167004>I don't like them in other food.interesting. my favorite chocolate bar is dark chocolate with whole hazelnuts and i do like them in other food like some sorts of salads. guess it's not for everyone. >you know more about nuts then anyone.not really. it's just a fad i picked up some time ago. ^^ >So what's your favorite nut?definitely walnuts, but you really need to get some good ones that aren't too bitter. >I don't think it would be good plain.honestly, it's just a very flat croissant and when i think about it, that kinda defeats the point the croissant is trying to make... >just more enjoyable that way.my favorite thing to get on the chrismas market is a waffle just with powdered sugar. nothing better than that on a cold dezember evening. ^^ >I've never sent a link in 4chan and idk how. I'll send them on discord.you can just post the link like you'd do anything else, but sending it on discord is fine as well. thank you. >>78167093not really. i have a hard time with that myself. ^^'>>78167534hey lav! (^-^) don't worry so much. just come here and hang out whenever you feel like it, ok? you're always welcome here. >>78171592hey gal! >howre you all today?i'm alright. a bit tired after work, but that's about it. not much going on. >>78173772glad you're doing better and inhope that headache will be gone soon. what's been stressing you? >>78173835hi chroma! what's going on? >>78174389there he is! ^^ >what's up?not much. just work today. customers being stupid. the usual. :/>order some stuff for a friends bikewhat did you get? >they guy I ordered it from hasn't shipped it yetalways the worst :[
>>78174717>what's been stressing you?Besides work? I'd say I've been less stressed than usual. I'm starting to feel a little bit dejected due to not getting the text I'm looking forward to but bleh, 3 more hours will pass fast as fuck I'm sure. On my second soothing cup of black tea at least c:What about you Yua? clocking out soon?
>>78174976>Besides work?work. in general. just wanna know what going on with you. >I'd say I've been less stressed than usual. good to know, friend. >I'm starting to feel a little bit dejected due to not getting the text I'm looking forward to but blehwhat's that text about? >3 more hours will pass fast as fuck I'm sure.i hope so. 3 hours can be kinda long, but they'll probably just fly by with us keeping you company. :> >On my second soothing cup of black tea at least c:enjoy! i really need to cut back on my caffeine consumptiom, but it's quite hard. ^^'>What about you Yua? clocking out soon?not that soon. maybe 3 to 4 hours before it's time for bed. until then i'll probably just watch some stream and talk to you guys. ^^
>>78173772well thats not too bad. whos your favorite person? girlfriend?
>>78174389im feeling a bit stressed but im okay, you?>>78174717hallos! :3hows you?
>>78174389Let me submit to you.
>>78175211>hows you?tired and a bit sore from working out, but other than that i'm alright. work was stressful, but that's water under the bridge. what's stressing you?
>>78174430>might be because im not satisfied enough with myself while drawingyou're drawings are very nice chroma :< >still didnt got any actual medical helpthat sucks I suppose I can't get it by yourself and people around you don't want to help?>>78174559>Brain is doing better yay :D>will now just cruise my way to closing timehopefully the yapping coworker doesn't show up>hopefully you'll get your money back without much troubleI will, no worries ^^>>78174717>there he is! ^^hello :D>customers being stupid. the usual. :/grrrr >:3any evening plans?I thought about going on a little bike ride this evening but I decided not to go and ai regret it a little bit>what did you get?got him a small frame bag and some comfy grips>always the worst :[yupp :< >>78175211>feeling a bit stressed oh man >but im okay, that's good>you?ok okay like you can read in that post but a little frustrated
>>78175155>just wanna know what going on with you.Aww, that's real sweet of you. I've been doing just fine lately, life hasn't been as troubling or complicated lately. I've been trying to make the most out of it, just stretch my legs, breathe in and breathe out; if it's inevitable going back in the hypotherical box I'll at least take any chance I got to enjoy being free from it c:>what's that text about?I was just for my favorite person to reply to my good morning text, she did a while ago so I feel less antsy but still can't wait to leave here.>they'll probably just fly by with us keeping you company. :>Oh, absolutely. I couldn't be more grateful to you guys!>enjoy! i really need to cut back on my caffeine consumptiom, but it's quite hard. ^^'Thanks, and I can imagine it must be pretty difficult :c Have you been consuming enough B12 vitamin? That could help you diminish your need for caffeine :c Eggs, beef, salmon, tuna, I think those foods are rich in b12>>78175187Yeah, it's been getting better as the day moves on, I wish it was a smooth slope instead of constantly going up and down but oh well...>whos your favorite person? girlfriend?Yessssss!!! altho it feels a little bit weird calling her my gf still after living together for about 7 years, I think we are pretty much married at heart. Just thinking about it improved my moodWhat's got you stressed Galax? Is something going wrong?>>78175378>hopefully the yapping coworker doesn't show uptoday might be my lucky day cause she has been so busy she hasn't had time to bug me c: didn't even have to wear my headphones todayyyyyregardless good luck with your biking adventures, I hope you can find the spare parts you were looking for at a reasonable price c:
2 Day trip to germany with my disfunctional family, boring so far. Goes as good as you would expect. Rather be home. Vending machines have alcohol and they have flavored vapes thats pretty cool, bought one a while back and it's litteral crack, Just keep hittin that shit especially while gaming. With smoking i never noticed that much of a impact on my lungs but this shit got me heaving sometimes. I Said to myself it was a onetime thing but i might get another, my nic addiction spiked miles and miles highTook a bath in the hotel for the first time in a while that was kinda nice. Been writing my thoughts down, documenting. Last night was a real visceral absolute mental lowpoint. Cut the name of this:https://open.spotify.com/artist/1Qjrx8NtccILLfR3wh1u3o?si=9-Fv84HLTR2NmziCw_l1Jg&utm_source=copy-linkArtist in me as well as dg for deathgrips. Too tired to write any pseudo intelectual deppressing rant, sleeping soon. Wanted to check in since everyone else is doing that too but i dont have anyone else to check into. Appreciate you people
>>78175378>grrrr >:3the grrrr-est. :< >any evening plans?no. i'm too mentally drained to do anything engaging. just chilling rn and probably for the rest of the night. you? >I thought about going on a little bike ride this evening but I decided not to go and ai regret it a little bitthere's always tomorrow. and if you didn't feel it, there might be a reason. maybe it was the right choice to stay home. >got him a small frame bag and some comfy gripsi see. some nice accessories. ^^ >>78175451>I've been doing just fine latelyit's good to be standing on some firm ground after all that drifting. :> just enjoy it and don't think about what might be. just stay in the moment with us. >she did a while ago so I feel less antsy but still can't wait to leave here.understandable, but don't let a message of her taking a while get you down. you know she'll text you back. >Oh, absolutely. I couldn't be more grateful to you guys!and i'm grateful for you hanging out with us. you could be anywhere else, but you're here, so thanks. >Have you been consuming enough B12 vitamin?i should have, but when i got testes one time years back my storage was completely depleted. maybe it's time for another check up. should get me some high quality fish again. good suggestions.>>78175481oi sludge! where are you headed? can't think of a place here that wouldn't be boring. ^^ you can get those vapes without nicotine, by the way. >Took a bath in the hotel for the first time in a while that was kinda nice.hadn't have a bath in a long time, either. i always enjoyed it, but the shower/tub-combo got replaced by a bigger shower at some point. :/ good night and sleep tight! always good to see you, dude. :>
>>78175378Kiss /cat/
Headpat your local Chroma today.
>>78175361found a lump on my body going to doctor to get it checked tomorrow >>78175378that makes sense i think id be frustrated too>>78175451>why are you stressedi found a lump on my body and my appointment to get it checked is tomorrow
>>78176420right. anybody would be stressed about that. it's good you're acting quickly, though. hope everything will be alright.
I went to the movie theater it was nice. We watched long legs.>>78170457>totally dissociated from life lol Oh that doesn't sound good.>but i'm here now!I'm really happy your okay and everything. That would have been terrible if you did get extremely hurt or something.>drinking my 5th matecocido of the nightOh those are very good.>writing something for fun.Writing is always a fun chill thing to do.>got a lot of blood tests, doctors everywhere.Oh blood test's sucks. >thank god i have medicare (i think it's said that way?) That's good then. Yeah I think so to.>and the health here is also free.Oh well that's very good then.>that helps me a bit. we shape our world .I'm glad that helps and yeah we do have control over our own world.>i really don't think i'm that interesting or anythingI think your very interesting. It's cool talking to you.>this made me feel so happy :'3I'm really happy to hear that made you happy.>4chan for me is either this thread ( depression ) or porn, which i think is a really fun parallel.Okay that is a very interesting parallel, I used to go on porn stuff but the depression got to strong.>missed the silly white gator picsAww they are very silly.>i'll be around more then!Yay everyone will appreciate that.>>78171592Good afternoon.I'm alright.>>78172542That's good that it was the last exam You got to believe in yourself more. Yakuza is a very fun game.>>78173772Work can definitely suck sometimes.>>78173835I hope you feel better and stop feeling unusual.>>78174389Hey cat>order some stuff for a friends bike a while ago and it came in today so that's niceOkay it sounds like your a really good friend, that's awesome.>>78174717>dark chocolate with whole hazelnutsThat sounds like my nightmare lol. I don't really like dark chocolate and I don't really like hazelnuts at all.>do like them in other food like some sorts of salads.I've never had them in a saled, it could be good.Limit
H>>78174717>definitely walnutsOkay walnuts are really good.>but you really need to get some good ones that aren't too bitter.Oh okay I think I've only ever had bitter ones.>that kinda defeats the point the croissant is trying to make...Yeah it basically is. I've never had a croissant but it only sounds good in the shape it's supposed to be in.>chrismas market is a waffle just with powdered sugar.Ooo that does sound really nice, powdered sugar is delicious.>nothing better than that on a cold dezember evening. ^^Yeah that sounds like a perfect thing to eat on Christmas.>you can just post the link like you'd do anything elseOkay I thought I would have to do something weird but now I know that thanks.
>>78176599>I went to the movie theater it was nice. awesome (^-^)i'm really tired and will head to bed now. hope it's ok if i reply to you properly tomorrow. have a nice rest of your day, buddy. good night to you and everybody else. see you soon!
>>78175451>didn't even have to wear my headphones todayyyyywoo :D >good luck with your biking adventuresthank you ^^ >hope you can find the spare partswe'll see we'll seeI'm positive but it'll just take time :/>>78175481Hi sludge >this shit got me heaving sometimeswhatch out with that crap>Last night was a real visceralsorry to hear that>sleeping soonhave a nice sleep sludge ^^ we appreciate you too, you've been here for a long time >>78175846>i'm too mentally drainedthat's okay, have a nice rest then>you?I actually finished up the map, looked for some used bike parts and now I'm just relaxing in bed it's kinda hot tonight >there's always tomorrowand the weather supposed to be nice c:>some nice accessories. ^^yesHe saw me on our last bike ride with my bag strapped to the bike while he was sweating with a backpack on and gat a little jealous lolI'm kinda surprised he wants to buy stuff for his bikeA couple years ago when we were riding he didn't care at all about it and wouldn't buy the cheapest stuff for it, wouldn't even lock his bike up, he used to say he wouldn't care if it got stolen >>78176420>think id be frustrated tooyupp>lumpthat does sound quite concerning where is it? is it big?>>78176599Hi Ali>movie theaternice, I should get to a theater sometime soon too >sounds like your a really good friend,we're not really good friendsIt's kinda strange, we know each other since primary school but we never really talked or hang out we only would go on bike rides sometimes we didn't contact each other for the last couple of years but a while ago he asked if I wanna to on bike rides again
bumzpsjbssm0
>>78176707>i'm really tired and will head to bed now.Goodnight sleep well.>hope it's ok if i reply to you properly tomorrow.That's complete fine.>>78176738>Hi AliHey cat.>I should get to a theater sometime soon tooYeah it is really fun and very chill.>we know each other since primary school but we never really talked or hang out we only would go on bike rides sometimesOh that is pretty strange then, I guess he's just a bike riding buddy.>he asked if I wanna to on bike rides againThat's pretty cool, it probably makes you more motivated to go on bike rides more that you have a buddy
>>78176586well ive kinda been monitoring it and then put off the call...>>78176599dats gud :3>>78176738its on my chest ive been monitoring it for a while and it hasnt shrank but yeah..
>>78174389>did you get the results yet!?Of one subject, yes. But I can infer that I've failed the other one too.>btw how's that song coming along?Not working on it. The lyrics I mean. The rest is pretty much done.I'm terrible at writing lyrics. They always suck. They suck as much as I suck at smash bros. That's how bad my lyrics usually are.>>78174575Hey Dan.Yeah man. Things been going downhill.I'm failing all subjects this semester, she hates me, I'll never succeed in academia, I can't write the damn lyrics for my song, I stink, I suck at smash bros, whatever.But as long as I can play vidya, smoke and drink, I'll be okay I guess.>>78176599There ain't nothing to believe about myself. I am, always was and always will be an incompetent piece of shit who can't succeed in a shit university in a third world joke of a shithole. And she despises me on top of all that.
>>78177329hey man don't say that , you still have a chance , its a rough time but if you just get through , get a break for a bit to chill out then come back to school and pick up where you left off you might just succseed in school and acheve your asperations , as for the girl , there are other women so stop being so hung up man, and im sure the smell will remedy after you train and shower , I believe in you
I am sleepgoodnight all
bumsosiwhw7
yep i have really really fucked up my sleep schedulecant go to sleep if i dont research the fucking fockewulf though im so closemy dumbass wanted to cut an said "if i ont o goo in war thuner i will" (to blame the game) an im dooing goo which is weird an annoying because i cant cutin unrelated news i hope to be accepte with my grade to the natioonal and kapodistrian universityi have about 400 points more than the base gradde of last year so i hope the base wont increase by that muchhope everyone is doing okand hi chroma i saw your name somewhere :)
I'm might hurt myself again, after being clean for months. About a year and a half ago, I found out some random tranny OF creator was making somewhere around $1-2 million dollars per year. This sent me into a really depressive spiral since I can't find a job for shit, and on top of that, I have a pretty feminine body, I have thick thighs, a fat ass, and a slim waist, and these thoughts kept creeping into my head to just troon out for money, that I could make so much money. It got to a point every time I'd see this trannies face, my day would just be ruined. I hated my self so much for not indulging in what I hate and despise the most (porn). Now that same guy is going around /r9k/ posting himself since hist tiktok was banned and most likely lost alot of his audience.This place used to be my safe place away from what pisses me off and discourages me, but seeing his face on this board, and the emotional turmoil that I just now felt like I got out off, all of that came back to me like a truck. I know this is ridiculous, obviously this guy isn't out to get me or anything, this my own personal struggle. But fuck man, I hate this world so much. Why do people spend money of this shit, its so disgusting.BTW: I really don't car about transpeople, is what it is not my issue, but people who make money via whoring themselves out induce ire and distain from me so much. Such a disgusting world.
>>78150749bumppmppmmppm
