i like you though anon
not really im just saying that to make you feel better

>>78930516
Dating apps are a scam
You need to get out there and actually talk to women

>>78930522
>>78930530
I want to cry anons. I wish I could talk to women in real life but I have AVPD. Yes, I'm that anon that keeps making these threads about it. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I desire a relationship because of my personality but can't have one because I'm a fucking loser because of my personality disorder. It's like some sort of death sentence. I'm a 31 year old man. I'm tired of being alone.

Why you moids continue to torture yourselves going on dating apps is a form of self-harm. It makes me think you are all masochists.

>>78930663
youre a masochist for looking on and not taking one of us like a fish on a hook
and then we get put on your grill of LIES
LIEEEEEEEEEES

>>78930663
I need women for some stupid fucking reason.

>>78930516
Dating Apps don't work for me either and I'm pretty sure I'm average looking with an above average body and style. Tried different photos and bios and it changed nothing. My only cope is that most guys have issues on dating apps supposedly.

the guy who invented tinder is unironically worse than hitler and stalin combined

>>78930684
That would make me a sadist. But yes, I would enjoy seeing you all struggle trying to get free of the hook.

>>78930516
Maybe you're just unlikable. I literally used anime pictures on my profile and I got a few girl's discords to talk to. Had to filter some of the ugly and unwashed ones, but ultimately I found some really nice looking and mentally unstable girls from that. I only sent a face pic to 2 of them tho and one also asked for a dick pic afterwards. So yeah works on my machine.

I have never had enough pictures of myself to make a dating profile, much less high quality ones where I am doing cool and attractive things.

>>78930516
Dating apps are fucking dead, dude. Why would you use them in 2024?

>>78930663
What do you expect us to do otherwise? Speaking from experience it's not like women who would like online losers are easy to find when going outside.

>>78930663
Fix your face before speaking to a man.

>>78930720
Right and what do you do? Kidnap kids off the street in your white van and groom them?

>>78930706
So you are saying you would enjoy seeing a guy struggle to get free after he got hooked on you? That's pretty lewd.

>>78930737
Normalfags meet on Instagram and Discord now, or school. Dating apps are seen as a gross millennial fad for old people.

>>78930663
What else are men supposed to do? Cold approach? Yes that COULD work but a lot of the time's it doesn't work. We are stuck between are rock and a hard place, if you have any eye opening advice, please, enlighten us.

>>78930753
Wtf discords do you go to date? All the ones I'm in are devoid of women.

>>78930772
University/college Discords, local area discords, et cetera.

>>78930794
Well where I live those are all dead and inactive as fuck.

>>78930802
That sucks to be you, sorry. Chicks also wait for hot guys to message them on Instagram, but you can only do that if you have an established following and are popular.

>>78930727
Honestly? Get out of your comfort zone and join a hobby group or organization like church. I know it's hard for you guys with the hostility many women have created, but getting to know people and befriending them is better. And if one of them so happens to be a girl, maybe it will grow out? I'm not promising it will happen, but it's how most of my friends landed husbands. I'm not going to say it'll work, but at least in the end, you'll have some social connections. I know this is generic normie advice, but it is what it is.

>>78930750
Yes. I am that sadistic. Shoukd I net you, bring you out of the water, and make you die from asphyxiation?

>>78930729
I'll fix your face with a lead pill.

>>78930762
I won't deny you guys are, and dating is hostile for you all. But, that's the way things are whether you like it or not. See my reply to: >>78930727. I know, it's generic advice. Our society is really messed up.

>>78930816
Take your meds. All of them and OD

>>78930516
Dating apps only work if you're 8 or above out of 10 in looks
Maaaaaaaaaybe you'll get a match at 6-7
Below that it's very unlikely you'll get matches from anything other than bots, scams or attention whores

>>78930823
I'll run out of room on my body if I applied all those daytrana and clonidine patches, anon!

>>78930816
>I won't deny you guys are, and dating is hostile for you all. But, that's the way things are whether you like it or not. See my reply to: >>78930727. I know, it's generic advice. Our society is really messed up.
Look MC, hobbies won't magically make me more sexy.

>>78930816
I have some social connections. I'm already going to nerd events and alt clubs. The issue is mainly that there's 0 women in nerdy spaces and only normies everywhere else. And I just don't have much in common with normie women. So we never click.
Also I'd prefer if you threw me back in the water so you can hook me again later.

if i ever finish looksmaxing the only thing i would use dating apps for is to try to fuck older milfs, if i couldn't pull that off they would be worthless to me

>>78930853
Then sorry if that's all you are looking to do. There's more to attraction than being sexy looking.

>>78930863
Then idk how I can help you other than generic normie advice that almost all of /r9k/ will make excuses for. Enjoy your social connections for enjoyment. Idk your age, but this is how my parents and their generation along with generations past met along with my friends with husbands. Maybe I'm just old fashioned and showing my age.

And no. You are coming out and dying.

>>78930919
>There's more to attraction than being sexy looking.
I know. It just being sexy makes things a whole lot more easier. You know this. I know all I have to do is put extra effort, just, fuck that. Why am I the guy having to put extra effort?

>>78930932
Being a female is just easier since we can just flash some skin anywhere an attract guys, eventhough almost all are shitty people. I won't deny it is way harder for you guys, but it is what it is. The hard work and effort is attractive, but it doesn't mean we'll swoon over you.

>>78930516
It's worse when you realize you got zero likes from a bunch of non-virgin tattooed poor out of shape fatfucks and single mothers. It quite literally couldn't imaginably be any worse.

>>78930984
It is what it is right? Doesn't make it hurt any less when my extra effort still can't make a girl "swoon" such is life I guess. It's all so tiresome.

>>78930697
>most guys have issues on dating apps
I'm attractive, well-off, healthy and dating apps don't work for me either. Not sure what else I could be or what more women want. It's actually not dating apps that are the problem because on Grindr I get instamatched all day and can talk to a guy in a few minutes. The problem is women, and those straight men that helped cause this heterosexual dystopian hellscape.

>>78930919
I legit think normie advice doesn't work for people on here because I've been trying it for a while with no success. It takes forever to build a social network form scratch, you have to frequently go to activities you don't particularly care for, and at best you find a girl you can only bond over that 1 thing you barely care about. I had more success just chatting with women from here than IRL.
Also guess I'll die then q.q

>>78931029
Then I'm sorry putting in all the work hasn't helped you and made you weary.

>>78931034
Why are you going to do activities you don't enjoy? You are just torturing yourself doing that.

>>78930919
>Idk your age, but this is how my parents and their generation along with generations past met along with my friends with husbands. Maybe I'm just old fashioned and showing my age.
hey moid-chan
I've been talking with a lot of people lately, many of them girls actually (helping them deal with certain issues as a friend, etc., they have told me they appreciate my friendship)
and I basically have your perspective, especially on dating apps being awful and a waste of time... and you do seem to acknowledge some difficulties people have
THAT BEING SAID, IT'S NOT QUITE ENOUGH... WE NEED SOME SORT OF ACTUAL NEGOTIATION...
In other words, some actual ideas and connections and contacts, and willingness to engage with others on the same level...
AND ACTUAL PRACTISE for people to get COMFORTABLE talking to girls (and flirting with them) in the first place
And FINALLY we need an actual INVERSION of roles to BALANCE things a bit more...
and I appreciate you, being willing to take the lead, being a bit of a sadist and getting someone on the hook, etc. ... but I guess all I wanna know is, can you TEACH OTHER GIRLS TO DO THIS? And do you know some others like this?
Also I'm freaking desperate and I kinda wish you'd talk to me some so uh dysoveko
maybe one of these days this will work idk
I did just make a large list of manga to read with someone else so, anyways

>>78931048
>Then I'm sorry putting in all the work hasn't helped you and made you weary.
It's not your fault now is it? Life has this strange way of humbling people, spend all this time trying to separate from the man you once were, learning how to fight, and in the end it still doesn't help with becoming "sexy" all this effort and you are still in the same place.

>>78931048
moid-chan i love you please abuse me i'm worthless but i know that you would value me even after breaking my rib cage for the 7th time.

>>78931034
>>78931048
hey newsflash to both of you
EVEN THE "NORMIES" ARE SUFFERING FROM LONELINESS
What we all actually need to do is quit thinking so individualistically (hard to do, I know) and also TAKE RISKS even with each other...
I've met multiple people and like... most people are cool
I drove across state lines a couple hours to be with my cousin and then later on in the day I happened to meet up with this dude from a server to play yugioh with and that was chill
I also asked this shy dude who used to run a chess club just to come with me to an art exhibit for a few minutes and he actually came (earlier last night) but yeah IT IS DIFFICULT for sure I am not denying that and even this just feels like it's a drop in the bucket but I am NOT GIVING UP

>>78931076
>i know that you would value me even after breaking my rib cage for the 7th time.
that's ... very specific
where is she getting this reputation from?????

>>78930824
Problem is women only use dating apps for attention-seeking and validation purposes. It doesn't matter what your value is because even if you match they will ghost you. Women are indecisive and when they have a gaggle of orbiters they get analysis paralysis and can never decide.
>>78930865
Bro if mothers you don't want to fuck are left swiping high level younger males, milfs definitely are not swiping right on anything less but perfection. You don't realize how fucked heterosexuality is.

>>78930816
Hobby groups are almost always sausage fests, and it makes no sense to force yourself to be a part of a hobby group for a hobby you don't genuinely have. I'm not a Christian, church is boring as fuck, and it's 99.99% old people or people who are already married. Such shit advice, this "just do x bro" "just go to x bro" advice that young men keep receiving to gaslight us really needs to fucking stop.

>>78931055
I'm glad you are helping other people out. Unfortunately, I cannot help you for whst you want. Like wuth a few of the nonas, I told them they sometimes will have to take the inititive sometimes due to men dealing with a hostile dating environment. If they really like a guy, they should put some effort as well. And they need to stop assuming you moids can read our minds. Being chronically online has corroded our ability to interpret body language and social skills.

>>78931066
Idk if i have some fault but I'm sorry either way.

>>78931076
Break your own ribs.

>>78931084
Everything we do involves risks. You are correct that we need to take those risks.

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>>78930816
>Get out of your comfort zone and join a hobby group or organization like church.
>Hey! Have you joined a church yet?
>Churches are there bros, that's where you'll find women!
Why do you motherfuckers keep recommending church? The only women you will find at churches are older women and little girls that range from 7 to 11. YOUNG WOMEN THESE DAYS DO NOT GO TO CHURCH. GET NEW MATERIAL.

>>78931146
>Break your own ribs.
but i'm too much of a pussy to do that. you can hurt me as much as you want idc i just need emotional validation.

>>78931151
The people who give this type of advice don't even do it themselves, that's why. They also don't seem to realize that not everyone is a christcuck either.

>>78931048
I don't go to places I find boring. But that's what normie advice boils down to in essence. I already go to any event I remotely might enjoy, but it's all niche nerd shit with 0 women like I said.
>>78931084
I don't suffer from loneliness. I make friends easily. Maybe normies should just go to a game store to cure their loneliness. My issue is specifically with dating.

At one point a therapist told me to try dating apps. I am very glad I didn't because it would have completely obliterated the very little self-esteem I had at that point.
I'm astonished that someone working in mental health would even suggest that. Well, not that astonished

>>78931343
>I'm astonished that someone working in mental health would even suggest that.
Someone almost recommended me therapy. Thank god I didn't pull through with it.
>Oh? You're depressed? Here, I'll send you to a psychiatrist to further diagnose you with BPD and she'll put you on 20 different medications that'll just kill your libido and mental state even more.
What a waste of time.

>>78931343
Women and boomers are that clueless and unaware

>>78930816
>Honestly? Get out of your comfort zone and join a hobby group or organization like church.
Not all people are christian and most hobby groups are 99% male, like tell me one hobby activity that the ratios are 1:1, lol.
>>78930516
Dating apps are for mildly succesful and/or attractive dudes in their mid 20s to early thirties to get quick pump and dumps. Guys there will match with any woman that's willing to fuck him, ask her out on a date, fuck and then ghost. That's why there's a "pussy inflation"

>>78931573
Certain sports, reading or drawing are like the only hobby spaces women go to.

>>78931196
Don't listen to single people for advice desu. I wouldn't mind listening to the foids here telling us how they met their partners but I think it's going to boil down to "I had a legion of orbiters in discord/instagram and I chose the hottest one." I know a couple of girls irl like this, my cousin met her boyfriend through valorant but before that she had a legion of simps giving her free shit and she ended up choosing a chadlite white that dresses like a nigger. I know another girl thats basically neet and she says she has a legion of dudes flirting with her through instagram so she could find a partner whenever she wants through there

>>78931594
I don't think men and women play sports together and reading and drawing are hobbies you're suppose to do strictly from home. Kek, maybe you can find your femcel wife autistic gf in art discord servers?

>>78931619
I want a femcel autistic gf that makes music in a DAW or real life with me. Working together on music would be so cool q.q
Art is cool and I know a bit of Photoshop, but the only way I could "do" art together wife a gf would be if she made art for some game project I'm working on.
Also, you definitely can go bouldering and get into contact with women there. I just don't feel like bouldering every week and it's also not something I'd connect with someone on an emotional level.

>>78930516
Thats my experience as a Asian male in the west.

>>78930516
Ok but before you get sad think about it really think about it

A dating app needs to make money, how would they make money if you are instantly getting likes and dates? you wont buy their premium likes or swipes if you constantly get dates, so what happens is the algorithm doesn't show you too as many woman as it could instead it hides your profile in favor of people who either bought the premium plan or the premium like/swipes.

it goes way deeper than this but i cba to type it all there is multiple videos on youtube that explain it. even chads have trouble getting likes when their profile hasn't bought premium.

>>78930516
I get people messaging me on dating apps but it's just too much effort to constantly think of replies, feels like a college assignment, so I just let it die after a while

I think you should join a hobby group or a church of some sort. Nothing to do with sex or dating, just to help you socialise

>>78931810
>church
>again

>>78931196
>>78931601
mayyybe just maybe part of the problem is having such an obviously misanthropic and hateful attitude?
why don't you ever look in the mirror and have a bit of reflection?
>>78931857
the fact that you have a kneejerk response to something that's an essential part of what holds many communities together shows how out-of-touch you are with mainstream society; even most *LEFT-WING* causes and social activism today are run through some sort of (progressive) church; it's not all about 'Conservative' values or whatever you think it is
if you are just some edgy, cynical, nihilistic person with a heart of stone who looks down on others, why do you expect that to be attractive to women?

>>78930919
>Then idk how I can help you other than generic normie advice that almost all of /r9k/ will make excuses for
I know how you can help him
It's called
INTRODUCE HIM TO YOUR FRIENDS
Your 'advice' is shit because it's like a Baby Boomer telling someone to "Pull themselves up by their bootstraps" and calling them lazy if they don't have a job and going on and on about 'personal responsibility' but not actually CONNECTING THEM with any opportunities or OFFERING THEM a job themselves... peak hypocrisy

>>78932198
Kek how am I being misanthropic for pointing out that women have a legion or orbiters?

>>78932218
>INTRODUCE HIM TO YOUR FRIENDS
With your shitty attitude, why should she introduce you or any guy to her friends? She probably senses red flags coming from you even through the internet.

>>78932239
Women and orbiters are anthropoids and being upset about the behavior of anthropoids is literally misanthropic.

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye" (Matthew 7:3-5)

youve realized my worst fear. ive sworn off dating apps because if this did happen my ego would take a massive hit and i might as well never approach a woman again. ive seen friends go through their hinge matches before and it really seems like all you match with are fatties and sub 6s and even if you do match with someone you find attractive its more likely youll never hear from her

>>78930516
>Going on dating apps and getting zero likes
Is this really what it's like for the average r9k user? Am I secrectly a chad?

>>78930516
That's brutal. I created a tinder profile with one blurry selfie, an autistic bio and still got dozens of matches in a few days.

>>78930516
Don't feel so bad, I'm not that bad looking and I still didn't get many

>>78930516
I'm 5'4, handsome enough face, pretty smart but shy. I was able to get Tinder to wrok for me and I went on a few dates before I met my GF, been together 3 years now.

The most important tip about dating apps is never swipe Right. Keep declining everybody who is remotely unappealing or scammy because every single one you accept is an opportunity for your "dating score" drop. By having lots of left swipes and only a few right swipes, your score increases and Tinder algorithm is led to believe you're high value and need to be shown to other high value, picky accounts. Most ppl who use these apps don't even know what ELO means, which means you're basically gambling in a rigged system. You should be constantly thinking the opposite of a desperate man, because a desperate man is what dating apps are designed to abuse.

it's just fucking over bro

>>78933164
Hey this is a big help, thanks

>>78930663
You're right in that dating apps suck balls but there is no other context where it's socially acceptable to pursue women anymore
zoomers don't go to church
you can't meet women through hobbies because they just wanna go and do the thing without being approached
you can't go to bars and clubs because you'll meet the type of girls who hook up with guys from there and you're guaranteed to be too ugly and spergy for them
you can't cold approach because that makes you a weirdo
that being said I have never bothered with dating apps B-D (me wearing cool sunglasses because i'm too cool for dating apps)

Alright boys I'm gonna be taking the advice of the people in this thread and hit up my local events. I'm gonna be cold approaching at the children's trunk-or-treat festival and local haunted houses. Wish me luck.

>>78934242
Try just talking to strangers without any intent of dating, you will learn to understand the difference between cold approach and the real chances to strike a natural conversation

>>78934631
ive been doing that and, surprise surprise, nothing ever came of it

>>78930663
Kek
Women really live in another planet where you can just not try at all and a mate will fall out of the sky.
Enjoy your privileged existence.

Needing women is a curse

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>>78932940
>Is this really what it's like for the average r9k user?
No, it's rare for anons to claim they literally get 0 women liking then on dating websites or apps. Usually instead they get likes from women they don't want, like fat women, older women, black women, single moms, etc.
I wouldn't be surprised if OP is lying and turned down women of those categories already and isn't even counting them.
Could also be differences depending on where you live, like OP could be in some European place where women don't use phones or the internet. Also some anon in this thread suggested zoomers aren't as into dating websites as millennials are. I'm kind of suspicious that's true but I wouldn't know since I'm a millennial.

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>>78934631
>talking to strangers
I did that a lot in college, which was a time in my life when I didn't get sex even once. I had a couple gfs before that in high school and I got sex and gfs after college during my 20s using dating websites. But the talking to people in real life meme never did anything for me (except making a couple male friends).
I personally think most guys would be better off just using dating websites, except maybe when you're in school and then you should have automatic opportunities to get laid in person. But again, that didn't work for me during college at all. Dating websites make more sense since you and her both know the intention is dating vs. talking to strangers in real life where you don't have that starting premise to work with. It's very easy for nothing to ever happen when you aren't identifying as a dating prospect up front. Certainly for introverts I would say dating sites are the most realistic option. Even one as bad as tinder would be moderately better than wandering around in person trying to talk to strangers.

>>78930635
>AVPD
You recognise your problem yet still just let it consume you and not do anything about it? Get the fuck out of that mindset and do something to better yourself and get you into a better head space. Acting insecure and shit does nothing but hold you back. Be confident, but not to the point of being egotistical or narcissistic. Stop sabotaging yourself of you will never rise above what you are now. Btw dating apps are fucking trash desu. Dating apps are designed to extract money out of people, mostly men. You need to meet people in real life. Work and school are good for this because you are exposed to the same people often, but its not impossible ust harder without them.

>>78932940
yes. believe it. 0 likes in 3 months

>>78935714
Where do you live thoughever?

>>78935705
I'm going to a psychiatrist right now who identified the problem recently, we're slowly working through it. I text him daily. I went outside to the store to try and talk to people or at least AROUND people but I couldn't do it. I go in confident but can't pull it off, it's very frustrating. I can't utter words, I can't speak, I just get scared and look at the ground. I will continue to try.

>>78935733
America, Seattle

>>78935733
Can you not talk like that?

>>78935714
Sweet. Guess I'm a chad now.

>>78935775
Talking to randoms out in pubic is hard cause lots of people feel weird if some stranger just starts talking to them. Dont get discouraged if you get the cold shoulder. People in bigger cities tend to act like this mor in my experience compared to some rural town.

>>78935783
lol seattle is like the worst place to meet strangers

>>78930516
It could be worse, you could be getting liked exclusively by trannies and single moms, like me.

>>78936081
>Dont get discouraged
Yeah, why stop there, why not cut your cock off and present it to as many women as you can to show how desperate you are for sexo. Women love simps and desperation and the more guys do it the more women will be forced to settle for desperate non-chad.

>>78930816
>join a hobby group or organization like church
I did this now I'm a seminarian and will stay a virgin forever

>>78936340
My wife asked me out because I was in seminary