Why does one hate life but refuse to die?
>>79293235dumb hope that things might get better (they wont)
>>79293235no matter how shitty my life gets, regardless of how awful i feel, theres people i dont want to leave behind and things i still want to see. that keeps me going
hahaha choke on my dick puppynon op the answer is because youre a faggot
The suffering of dying is more painful than the moment to moment suffering of existence.It's like if you were normally being tortured by starvation, but to leave the prison you need to have your fingernails ripped out and vivisected.Better to stay in the starvation dungeon for as long as time allows (though everyone will have to be flayed eventually).
>>79293481but you have your second half, why would you hate life?
Those few years left for me on earth are nothing compared to the infinity of nothingness ahead of mekilling myself doesn't change anythingOn a more general level, the truth is poison, its impossible to bear it, so to be alive you have to fool yourself.
>>79293235>Why does one hate life but refuse to die?Because humans are emotion and illogical.
>>79293235deep down you know you're being ungrateful
>>79294639that hate was mostly caused by childhood trauma. i hate how much it changed me as a person. i wasnt able to feel safe and leave the house for years
>>79294691That's horrible! Do you think it made you want to become a man?I hate the world (or rather the human condition) for different reasons, so my ideal life is secluding myself in the middle of a forest with a loving wife and enjoying nature and each other's company. or if society wrongs us, becoming like Natural Born killers, what a romantic movie
>>79294731what i experienced had nothing to do with my gender identity. watching my best friend accuse me of attacking her and watching the people i called a second family try to get me arrested at 12 all because she ran into my sports bag and her two front teeth got knocked out.. it really fucked with my head. finding out her teeth were fake was salt in the wound.
>>79294796>finding out her teeth were fake was salt in the wound.What the hell?! This sounds like a comedy skitMaybe it caused you to dislike the female gender more?
>>79294830yeah the whole thing felt like a fucked up prank that turned me from a social butterfly to a kid too scared to even walk to the bus stop alone. seeing the bloodstain on the concrete was enough to give me a panic attack back then. i have no dislike or hate towards the female gender. her dad hurt me just as much as she and her mother did. gender is irrelevant to this situation
>>79293235I used to live solely because mom would be very sad if I went and offed myself. I started getting therapy solely to appease the people in my life.Then the therapy started working, my psychiatrist found the right combination of meds, and I genuinely see a future for myself.I still struggling with my many problems but today I live to be a better person than I was before. I live to enjoy what life has to offer. And I live to use my story and experiences to help others.When I was at my very worst, I was homeless and had a nasty drug problem. I got out of it, and I'm certainly still impoverished, but I have a job I love and my own apartment.If anyone tells you that it won't/can't get better, they are lying to you. They're doing it because they are afraid to admit their problems and change, and so they don't want to see other people succeed where they haven't. Misery loves company and there's a lot of misery on this board.
>>79294916What drugs are you taking? I'm on bupropion and vortioxetine. And while it allows me to sleep only 9 hours a day and get out of bed, it doesn't help in other ways
>>79293235Because you have to overcome billions of years of evolution urging you to stay alive in order to kys.
>>79294934Busbar, Lexapro, welbutrin, and seriquil. But just remember that unfortunately the use of meds is not a one size fits all solution, and what works for me with no side effects could dramatically effect you in different ways.You're best bet for finding the best combo that will work for you is to be 100% open with your psychiatrist, and if he isn't willing to listen and help you, then you can shop around for one that will.It's also important to remember that meds by themselves are there to make symptoms manageable and it's important to find a form of therapy that works in tandem with the meds to fully conquer the symptoms.It sounds like you're on the right path, you have a psychiatrist, and you're working to improve your life but it's gonna be a lot of work, and it's a job that never ends.It does get better and eventually with enough time and dedication, it even becomes a labor of love.To give you an idea of how long it took me to get to where I am, I was homeless about a decade ago, and really started to get into therapy and help myself about 6 years ago. I got the first job I could hold down and was able to start getting off the neetbucks, about 3 years ago. That's also when I started to really feel like I was happy and have a real future.It takes a lot of work, but the results are very much worth it.
>>79295043>lexaproOh, that's the first thing they give everyone! But it made me feel stiff and disconnected>welbutrinThat's a brand name of the substance bupropion which i am taking. 300mg a day. It does give me some energy and confidence with no side effectsSadly i don't get neetbux, and holding a job is very hard. I did work for 5 months but it kept weighing me down, my mood became worse and worse regardless of medsI find normal life unbearable, all the time i was at work i wanted to either go back to bed or slash my wristsStill, i will try to get state-funded therapy, i got a few phonecalls to make tommorow. Dunno about my job prospects though, i don't think im talented in anything, which i know is a symptom of depression, but i can't overcome itI don't think i will ever have a good life, but i hope i can find a way to earn a living that can be sustained without destroying my menta health
>>79295063When I first started I had zero faith that I would ever recover in any meaningful way. I loathed myself and figured I'd be dead due to my drug use, or liver, and at the very least my family would think that I was actually trying to get help, and would be less sad because I died from natural causes and not by my own hand.I originally was diagnosed with Bipolar depression type 2 and Autism, but it got bumped up to Scitzoaffective disorder, and Autism (I think it's called spectrum disorder now, I'm not a big part of the community)I have legitimately tried to kill myself many times over, and part of the reason I was homeless was because my mom was afraid she would come home to find me dead and couldn't live like that.If you told me 10 years ago that I would have a job I genuinely like, my own apartment, and would be dedicating a significant portion of my free time to helping others learn from my mistakes, I would have laughed in your face and told you that you where full of shit, and yet here we are.You CAN do it. I won't lie to you, it will not be easy. It is a brutally hard road, and you will likely face relapse multiple times, but it is a road worth walking. You are stronger than you can possibly understand right now. One day you will. I'm rooting for you.
>>79295043Thanks for your kind words, you sound like a good personI still have hope, if i didn't i would kms immediatelyI wish getting directions in life was easier. Young people today are tought useless crap at school and then sent out into the world to just figure it out on their ownIf you're not a social butterly it's hard to find anything worthwhile
>>79295158I was not a good person 10 years ago. It took me a lot of work to become a good person.Try to find some hobbies to add meaning to your life. Personally I discovered water color pencil 3 years ago. I never liked my own art up until a year ago and now when I look at my work, I still see the mistakes, but genuinely think its good. Find something that lets you create, or even better find something to volunteer at. Animal shelters are a great choice, as it's always a huge dopamine boost to make an animal's day by giving them real human interaction the employees do not have the time to do.Keep trying new stuff until you find something you enjoy, and then work at it. It will help give your life more meaning and make it richer. And don't give up. You will find something eventually, and this unpleasant part of your life shall too pass. You'll find happiness.Good luck Anon.
>>79293235I live only because I promised to a friend on my sacred honor that I would do so. I think if he ever releases me from that obligation, that I'll shoot myself through the heart.
>>79293235Because of the indomitable human spirit.
